From Little Tokyo, With Love by Sarah Kuhn Book Review

November 17, 2021

“Then again, if this week has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes your fairy tale ending is not at all what you thought it would be.”

(pg. 403)

About

Author: Sarah Kuhn

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary Romance

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I Love You So Mochi

Synopsis

If Rika’s life seems like the beginning of a familiar fairy tale–being an orphan with two bossy cousins and working away in her aunts’ business–she would be the first to reject that foolish notion. After all, she loves her family (even if her cousins were named after Disney characters), and with her biracial background, amazing judo skills and red-hot temper, she doesn’t quite fit the princess mold.

All that changes the instant she locks eyes with Grace Kimura, America’s reigning rom-com sweetheart, during the Nikkei Week Festival. From there, Rika embarks on a madcap adventure of hope and happiness–searching for clues that Grace is her long-lost mother, exploring Little Tokyo’s hidden treasures with cute actor Hank Chen, and maybe…finally finding a sense of belonging.

But fairy tales are fiction and the real world isn’t so kind. Rika knows she’s setting herself up for disappointment, because happy endings don’t happen to girls like her. Should she walk away before she gets in even deeper, or let herself be swept away?

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To all the nure-onna’s,

My GOSH, where do I even begin with this From Little Tokyo, With Love? πŸŒΈπŸ’•

WOW. Just Wow. I have no words . . . I mean, I do because I’m going to write this book review, but wow.

I loved Rika, I loved Henry, I loved Belle, I loved Rory, I loved the entire journey Rika went on with Henry, the inner journey Rika had, and the entire fairytale aspect. I am a stan of fairytales—the whole shebang–because I grew up watching Disney movies like it was a religion. What a stunning story that had me swooning, crying, and gushing πŸ’•. What pure joy wrapped up in a book.

Let’s start with Rika. I love love love Rika. When we first met Rika, she was described as someone who had an obvious temper. People made her feel like her temper and her anger was something to be ashamed and embarrassed of, and that made me really upset for Rika because how dare anyone make her feel bad for who she was. I understood why the community–Little Tokyo–made her feel insecure in her personality—Asians typically are more quiet people. I would just like to say I am Asian and the communities I know are typically people who are quiet, but not in a bad way. It’s because many Asian cultures and communities grew up learning not to be the center of attention—to be loud, brazen, or disturb the peace and quiet. Some Asian cultures and communities also value respect, which can translate to being a bit more quiet and pleasant to others. That’s not to say all Asians are quiet or introverted because many Asians are outgoing, exuberant, full of life, and extroverted. I am just saying typically Asian culture values quiet and peace. Also, Asians value education, not in a stereotypical way where all Asians are smart or are good at math because gosh knows I’ve heard that many times before. But Asians care about school just like any other culture or people who also value education. So when growing up in a culture or community that cares about education, that can sometimes mean studying or focusing on school work, which can reflect as a more quiet demeanor than a boisterous one.

So Rika was the exact opposite of the type of person Little Tokyo or most Asian cultures would agree with. She drew attention, she disturbed things, she was angry all the time. Everyone in Little Tokyo looked down at her because she was noticeable and disagreeable. They made her feel like being herself was a bad thing given her culture and the community she lived in. That made my heart hurt for her because she couldn’t help who she was. Because everyone frowned upon Rika’s personality, they made her feel like the villain, the monster, the nure-onna.

I have never heard of the nure-onna before, and I loved the running metaphor and symbolism of the nuree-onna in relation to Rika. To be really honest, when I saw the cover with Rika wearing the shirt, I didn’t know at first what was on her shirt when first looking at it. I thought it was Taylor Swift during her Reputation era πŸ˜‚. I soon found out it was not πŸ˜…. But I mean, Taylor Swift sure does have that nure-onna energy!

A nure-onna is a mythical creature from Japanese folklore (another reason I’m convinced T-swift is a nure-onna πŸ˜†). The nure-onna is said to have a snake body with a head of a woman on it and she would lash out at people with her temper. The nure-onna would also bite a person’s head off, which sounds like Rika. She bit freaking Craig’s foot off or something at the dojo she trained at. I can get into Craig more later, but after that everyone viewed Rika as Rika the Biter and they wanted to kick her out of the dojo because she drew negative attention to her. But Craig said something mean about Belle and Rika was just angry and defending her family in the only way she knew how to do–releasing her Kaiju-temper. There was this moment Rika talked to Henry about what happened at the dojo and Henry was like:

“‘It sounds like Rika the Biter was Provoked. By an older kid who wasn’t playing even close to fair. Maybe that incident should’ve started the Legend of Craig the Big Bully A**hole instead.'”

(pg. 171)

Henry was right. Rika did nothing wrong because it was not her flat that she fought back when her anger told her something was wrong. Why was everyone so quick to villainize Rika and call her a rude name when Craig was the one who made her angry and was being the prick in the situation? Why do we place blame on women when it comes to something that is a man’s wrongdoing? I will never understand.

Because everyone knew Rika as this terribly tempered person, they indirectly made Rika feel like she had to hate herself or make herself feel smaller to make other people feel comfortable. I wanted to slap everyone around her πŸ™ƒ!

Rika didn’t need to make herself small to make other people feel comfortable because to heck with that. She already faced so much discomfort as an Asian woman who people thought was already disagreeable, she didn’t need to feel like she had to change to be accepted by people who should have accepted her.

“‘Just to be accepted by a community that should have embraced them in the beginning.'”

(pg. 365)

They should have accepted Rika as she was.

What really got me was seeing and feeling how Rika viewed herself. She thought she was a monster–this nure-onna that bit people’s heads off because that’s what everyone else told her she was—what everyone made her feel like she was. Because she was told most of her life that she had a displeasing temper, she thought she was the nure-onna monster that didn’t belong in her community or in her family. She felt wrong for who she was.

It was why Rika would find comfort in hiding in the dark shadowy places because she felt like the darkness was where she belonged. She felt that way with the tree in Little Tokyo where she would sometimes sit when things felt overwhelming or she felt alone. She liked the dark alleys and the cave because the darkness felt like a home for a monster like her. The darkness was also a symbol for how alone she felt in the world because she didn’t know who her mom was. Her mom was said to have passed away during childbirth, so her Aunt Suzy who was married to Aunt Och, took Rika in to raise her. Aunt Suzy and Aunt Och had Belle and Rory (Aurora) who were their two daughters named after princesses. I must say when I read their names, I was like what the freak πŸ˜…? Their names were kind of weirdly on brand for the whole princess metaphor, not that I didn’t like it, it just felt kind of funny to read how princess-y their names sounded. So Rika wasn’t technically related to her “family.” She didn’t feel like she fit into Aunt Suzy, Aunt Och, Belle, or Rory’s family because she wasn’t really the Aunt’s kid or Belle and Rory’s sister—she felt like an outsider who didn’t belong to anyone—like she was alone Just like how she felt in her community. That made my heart hurt for Rika because in the beginning it felt like she didn’t feel like she fit anywhere. She just wanted to belong and to be loved. But it was hard for Rika to let her family into how she felt because she didn’t think they would understand how she felt like an outsider 😒.

Also, because her cousins were named after princesses, there was this whole underlying fairytale to the story that I fell in love with.

Belle and Rory, obviously, believed in fairytales. They believed in happily ever afters (HEA), the prince narrative, the princess. To Rika, her cousins were the princesses and she was the monster. I mean, it felt like those were the most blatant parts they could play given who they were. But Rika didn’t believe in fairytales because she didn’t like the whole narrative of someone falling in love waiting to be saved when she was always told she was the opposite of what a princess should be. Princesses were demure, beautiful, pleasant, kind, and caring and Rika was loud, brazen, and temper-filled. She painted herself, again, as the monster in the fairytale because that’s who she believed she was and monsters didn’t get a happy ending. She felt like that’s what she deserved.

“‘Hey. Sweet Rika. When you said you don’t believe in happy endings. . . I think I know why.’

. . .’It’s because you think you don’t deserve one.'”

(pg. 223-4)

When I read that, my heart really dropped for Rika 😒.

I felt that.

We can be so hard on ourselves, especially if we have grown up believing we weren’t good enough or being made to feel like we weren’t. I am the opposite of Rika where I don’t have a raging temper, but a quiet demeanor. But I was made by my family to feel like there was something that was always wrong with being quiet or being this shy person. There’s always this negative connotation when someone says shy and I sure as heck felt that way my entire life. Similar to Rika I never felt like I belonged, I felt alone, and I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness because I wasn’t “princess perfect.” It beyond sucks to feel like you don’t deserve happiness because you don’t feel “normal”, but also knowing you want to feel happy and loved because you’re human and you want to feel that. But then part of you feels like being happy is too good to be true because you feel too broken or too other to feel like you deserve happiness in comparison to people who are “normal.”

There was also the fact that Rika was always so quick to write herself off to everyone. I felt like this was her greatest challenge because she was so used to feeling like an unwanted pariah who messed everything up, so she felt like everyone would be better off without her.

“‘You’re always so ready to not belong,’ he says, leaning in closer and locking my gaze with his. ‘It’s like you think people are going to, I don’t know. . . throw you away. Over the smallest things.’

. . .’And now it’s like you’re throwing yourself away first,’ he says.”

(pg. 242)

When I read this, I was like DANG. I felt that.

Already, Rika felt like she was a castaway because her mom didn’t want her, she didn’t have a real family, and most people in her life found Rika too difficult or attention-seeking. So it’s no wonder Rika felt insecure in where she stood in people’s life because it felt like no one loved or wanted her and if she messed up, no one would care about her or truly want her. That’s why it was easier for her to subtract herself from people’s life or hold everything in–be closed off–because she didn’t want to hurt anyone or take away their happiness. She didn’t want to ruin their lives so she threw herself away first to save herself and others the pain of doing so. That’s such a sad thing to feel as a kid—like you need to take yourself out of something because you don’t feel like anyone really loves you. I felt like Rika was giving me big Trashy the fork energy from Toy Story 4 because she kept throwing herself away because she felt unloved as who she was. But Rika throwing herself away goes with how she didn’t believe she deserved happiness when she was a monster of destruction.

I say the mom didn’t want her because gosh only knows the mom was alive πŸ™ƒ. If I said it once, I’ve said it a million times, if no one sees a body, the person’s not really gone πŸ€ͺ. I mean, I have a Pretty Little Liars and Riverdale education!!! They taught me well. I knew Rika’s mom was alive the minute someone said that the mom’s funeral was closed casket or something with no body. I was like, “Nope, she’s alive.” And alive she was because Rika’s mom was Grace Kimura, the infamous Asian sweetheart of the movie world.

Grace Kimura was the celebrity feature person for Nikkei week. Nikkei week was this whole week of Japanese festival celebrations with a parade and a court. Belle was the queen of the court and Rika wanted nothing to do with the parade, but she ended up wearing this orange Yuka from Aunt Suzy’s closet to drive the car for Belle. In reality, Rika was going to hop out of the car at one point to go to the dojo to execute her judo skills to a UCLA scout with her friend Eliza—she had to sneak out because Aunt Suzy asked her to work at their restaurant, Katsu That, because the town was crowded. So there Rika was driving Belle and then Grace’s gaze caught on Rika and Grace pulled a disappearing act where she ran out of her own car she was in and disappeared. Not before Rika tackled Grace to the ground to stop her. In hindsight, I didn’t think tackling Grace was the smartest idea πŸ˜†. But she did.

There was that moment where Rika went into a restaurant nearby and she found a picture of Aunt Suzy and a girl who looked like Grace Kimura, wearing the orange Yuka Rika wore. Aunt Suzy and Grace were sisters by the way they stood with each other, and that’s how Rika knew Grace was her mom. That explained why Grace was startled by Rika and how Grace knew Rika’s name. After learning Grace was her mom, Rika scoured the internet for Grace so she could find her mom because in those seconds where they locked eyes, Rika felt less alone in the world. She finally felt a connection to someone—like she belonged. But Grace fell off the face of the earth and no one could find her. To help her, Rika recruited Hank/Henry Chen who was Grace’s co-star in her new movie. Rika stumbled into Henry earlier that same day and they had a very banter-ish conversation that I loved.

Henry was going to help Rika find Grace because they needed Grace to finish filming the movie they were in so Henry would have his chance to grow as an actor. Also, so Rika could find her mom.

I honestly loved the scavenger hunt for the mom because it gave me Paper Town vibes. It also gave me fairytale vibes where I felt like they were both the princes’ looking for Queen Grace. And what do you know, later in the book they both talked about how they felt like the princes’ 😊.

The whole journey to find the mom was honest to gosh the funnest and bestest journey that I felt like Rika needed. Rika went in looking for her mom, but she left with so much more.

First, there was Henry. Sweet, sweet Henry.

Gosh, let’s applaud my Filipino πŸ‘πŸΌ!!!!!!! WE LOVE to see it πŸ’•!!!! I’m Filipino and I feel like we don’t see enough representation of Filipinos out there. So whenever I do see a Filipino in a book, movie, or show, there’s this pride and excitement that comes over me to feel seen. Even if Henry was half Filipino.

Being half an ethnicity was a topic Sarah Kuhn touched on exquisitely. I loved every conversation she had and how she made me feel like I understood how all the halfies felt. I am full Filipino, so I don’t know what it’s like to feel half of something, but I do know what it’s like to feel like you aren’t enough of something. When first talking about being halfies, Henry said how he didn’t feel Chinese enough or Filipino enough and how sometimes people look at him and that sometimes they tell him his look isn’t right. I don’t know exactly what Henry meant by his look not being right, but I know for me I’ve gotten the comments of being dark enough to look Hispanic but not being light enough to be something else. A lot of people have looked at me and wondered what my ethnicity is because I don’t look like an Asian, but I am an Asian. I don’t know and it’s this whole confusing thing sometimes for people who don’t really know who Filipino’s are.

That question: “What are you?” It sounds so wrong. Like what are you? 🧐

I think back to one of my classes I took in college called multicultural education and how we as people like to label others to organize things and understand people. One of the first things I learned is how people want to know “What are you?” because it creates this narrative in their head already about who you are. In a lot of ways that’s wrong because it’s stereotypical to put people in a box of who they are based on a group of people.

“‘I’m usually too brown or not brown enough or people just don’t know what’s going on here.’ He gestures to his face. ‘They always ask-“

‘What are you?’ I finish, smiling slightly.”

(pg. 127)

Even being a Filipino, sometimes people get the comments of you’re too yellow or you’re not dark enough. And it just unsettles me how even within one’s own culture, people try to make others feel like they aren’t enough when we shouldn’t be fighting against each other of who looks or who is more of our ethnicity. But we should be bonding over a shared culture. So I understand how being half of something can make a person feel even more like an outcast in one’s culture because people might see that person as one thing but not enough of the other thing—almost like that person has to pick sides. There’s this metaphor I remember reading in the book about how you could be a drop of one culture but to another culture, it’s that drop that somewhat makes you other—that outcasts you in some way. That’s so sad. And it’s sucky. Why do we do that to people?

Just because someone is half of something or a mix of different cultures, doesn’t invalidate them to their culture. It doesn’t or shouldn’t make someone less real to belong to a culture they claim to.

That’s my opinion, but there’s just something wrong about how we make people feel bad for not being whole like that somehow makes them wrong or broken or not good enough.

“I flash back to Belle and me in second grade, her screaming ‘She’s half!’ at the teacher who didn’t believe we were related. She’d been trying to stand up for me. But something about that had still cut deep—as if I could never be a whole version of anything.'”

(pg. 131)

I really loved this quote πŸ’•.

Because, again, being half of something or a mixture of something makes someone else feel like they can’t be a whole version of something. That their very existence is wrong and should be excluded or ashamed. It’s not.

And everything about this initial deep conversation between Henry and Rika broke down this wall where Rika felt like someone finally understood her.

Henry broke down all Rika’s walls. He popped open her doors. He let her fall.

He was honest to gosh, the best raised male protagonist I’ve read by far!!! Who are his parents, I would like to formally praise his parents for not raising a prick πŸ˜‚!!! I mean, they had to be doing something right to make this dude such a GENTLEMAN. WHAT A MAN πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ’•.

I legit loved Henry because he was so kind to Rika and he had his own sort of depth that we explored through Rika’s eyes. I loved how Sarah Kuhn provided us insight to who Henry was because sometimes male protagonists or the love interest tend to not have depth to them and I don’t feel a connection to the character, but gosh did I feel a connection to Henry. I didn’t feel connected to Henry just because he was Filipino (but that’s probably a good reason I was interested in his character), but I liked how he contrasted and reflected Rika in multiple ways; he was her equal and her window. I loved how he was the first person Rika felt like she could relate to with feeling like an outsider. I also loved how easy it was for Rika to open up to him because sometimes it is much easier to open up to a stranger than it is to the people closest to us. I think it’s because a stranger doesn’t have all this history or predisposed notions about you, so it’s easier to be whoever you choose to be with that person. I loved how he acknowledged whenever he had a temper. When everyone at the restaurant prodded Henry about his audition, Henry kind of went off on Rika for a bit before he realized that he was just reacting to his overwhelming emotions. I will say, I did a whole 180 on Henry in that moment because he freaking called Rika difficult, which was like slapping her in the face with the insult everyone felt about her. Honestly, if a love interest does anything to hurt the protagonist, I will turn on them in an instant πŸ€ͺ. It’s the best friend protective ride-or-die nature within me.

But after Henry knew what made him angry, I liked that he apologized and explained to Rika how he felt. He had all these pressures as a mixed Asian taking care of and providing for his family. He put pressure on himself because he wanted to be good enough for everyone—do his Asian communities and his family proud—and that’s such a tough pressure to put on oneself. Also, it was interesting to hear how Henry felt the need to be perfect for everyone because his family life was complicated. His grandparents didn’t approve of the parents’ marriage, so Henry felt like he had to be living proof that the parents’ marriage was perfect and right. So it added this depth to Henry that he wasn’t just this monkey who danced and had abs (I must say, why do all seventeen or eighteen year old YA boys have abs πŸ˜‚? Realistically I don’t know any teen with abs πŸ˜†. Not that it’s not possible, but where were these teens in my life? I digress). I liked that Henry was someone who had this secret darkness to the light, airy facade he sometimes displayed to the world because it was expected of him. I also think as an actor he has to put on a show for everyone all the time or be on guard about who he’s with or what he’s doing and that makes him feel like he has to continue to act the way everyone wants him to and not how he really is. Henry also reminds me of Marcus Castor Rupp from Spoiler Alert by Oiliva Dale based on the pressures or facades they have as actors. There’s a part of me that also felt like Henry was scared to be the real him in public because people might judge him for the real him and they might not like who he really was. And that would suck more than putting on an act—for people to not like the real him. So Henry hid behind this easy-going charm because it was easier and safer.

“‘You have to flatten yourself out again because everyone in your life expects a certain kind of perfect.'”

(pg. 337)

I also think there’s something to be said about how he was more real with Rika. He wanted to be called Henry rather than Hank, which was his stage name. Being called Hank made me think about how when Asians started immigrating to America, some changed their Asian name to a more Americanized version or they had a separate American name because it was easier for people to pronounce the Americanized version. That just makes my heart feel some sort of way because I don’t think it’s fair that people feel the need to change their given name to fit into a dominant culture. I think if someone wants to change their name because they genuinely want to, then by all means, but I think Henry wanted to be real with Rika and that meant her calling him by his real name. I loved that πŸ’•.

There’s also something to be said about how he had to maintain a certain image or watch what he did. I picked up on tidbits about how healthy he ate and how it felt like he didn’t want to. Gosh, this guy just wanted to shove an Egg MCMuffin in his mouth and call it a day without being called out or something. We need to give celebrities their privacy to do what they want and live how they want because gosh knows they do not owe us anything and they are just people living their lives and it’s not fair or right to shove a camera in their face everywhere they go. Let them eat Egg McMuffins in peace πŸ˜….

Henry also battled social anxiety. Mental health and Asians are still a developing topic of conversation. It’s not an easy conversation that’s for sure. In some cultures, they don’t believe in mental health and most tend to push mental health away and focus on work. I’m not going to speak for all Asians when I say this but I’ve noticed that because many Asians immigrated across the world, specifically I’m going to touch on America, some feel like work is what they need to focus on to provide a better life than the one they had. I know my great grandparents when they came to America, they worked their butts off day and night because they sent money back home to my grandparents back home so they could have a better life and could eventually come to America. They eventually did, but in that hard work, I don’t think my great grandparents had time to focus on their mental health because they were so focused on surviving. That’s what it probably felt like back then—survival. Well-being didn’t matter when Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs says the basic needs of living comes first. That’s what my great grandparents needed to do. And so it created generations of hard workers who focused on providing for their families so they could have a better life as well. But in working, my ancestors weren’t treated the best because they were Asian, and there was a time I think people looked down upon Asians because they came to America, stealing jobs or whatever they say. And it’s in that sentiment where I think many Asian families felt like they had to work twice as hard to prove they belonged here, and that again doesn’t lend itself for anyone to focus on their mental health. Work was their life. Work has become a lifestyle and how many cope or suppress emotions because they’re still in survival mode. So I understand why mental health isn’t something some Asians talk about—it’s not something they had the luxury to devote time to when they had to survive, provide, and ‘prove’ themselves time and time again. Again, I’m not speaking on behalf of all Asians, but personal experiences and observations.

Suffice to say, mental health is hard to talk about sometimes. But the conversation has begun with the times. I think Henry should open up to his family about what he’s feeling and going through because it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of either. HIs mental health battles are very real and maybe opening up that conversation can allow his parents to understand him better and to possibly understand that mental health is real. Starting a conversation can open up more conversations. I think doing so can also help older generations to see the shift in thinking these days that mental health is real and that they don’t need to fear the pain they might have also felt when working hard or any emotion or experience, really.

Another reason I loved Henry was how he made Rika see qualities she believed her flaws as qualities she should be proud of—he made her learn to love and own up to herself.

I believe it was easier for Rika to trust him and believe his words because they had such an honest conversation that opened them up to each other. I also liked how Henry stood up for Rika against freaking Craig.

“‘Why did you . . . you didn’t have to make a scene. I can handle myself. I don’t need someone else to fight my battles.’

. . . ‘I know you can,’ he finally says. ‘But you don’t always have to fight alone.'”

(pg. 164)

I LOVE a man who knows that the woman can hold her own, but he still wants to fight by her side πŸ‘πŸΌ!!! We love a supportive person!!!

But I loved when Henry put on his smiley-kill-Craig-with-kindness-and-bitter-hate scene and stood his male ground to defend Rika. I loved how uncomfortable he made Craig in telling this loser to apologize for the rude thing he said to Rika.

Freak, let me go off on this Craig πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ˜†.

First, he’s a privileged bully.

Second , he’s a loser.

Third, he can suck my toes.

Fourth, when he made that mom comment, FREAK, I was ready to throw down!!! How dare he throw that in her face. “At least I have one.” YOU ARE TRASH.

LOSER.

I feel like restaurants deserve to have a sign on the door that says we have the right to kick you the freak out if you are a piece of garbage trash who is disrespectful to the wait staff.

But after seeing Henry stand with her, Rika felt less alone in her battles. I loved that for her. I also loved how sweet Henry was to help out at the restaurant when it was crowded after people came to see Rika, the girl who was with Henry at the library where they found their first clue to finding Grace. I liked how he was kind to Rory who put too much salt in the salad dressing. Instead of being rude to her about it, he kindly complimented her and added lemon to the dressing to even out the flavors. But he was so sweet. I love a sweetheart.

I also loved loved loved how Henry saw Rika’s temper as passion.

“‘ I see passion. I see that you care so much about things—about your family, protecting the people you love, not wanting to hurt them in any way. But I think sometimes that’s hurting you.'”

(pg. 175)

Gosh, when Rika started to tear up, I started to tear up 😒.

I just wanted to hug Henry and pat him on the back for making Rika feel validated. When a person goes their whole life believing this negative thing about themself that others don’t like, that person may never feel good about themself and that person can star to think something is wrong with them, so much that they start to believe it. But when Henry told her he didn’t see her anger as wrong or something to be ashamed of, it made her feel comforted that she wasn’t wrong–nothing was wrong with her—she wasn’t a mistake. Anger is not a mistake. If it was, we wouldn’t feel it as an emotion. I mean, absolutely there are toxic and vile ways anger can translate, but Rika had a healthy anger because it came from a place of care and love. And her going her whole life believing she was broken because she was so angry or had this uncontrollable temper, hurt her. It hurt her because people wanted to change her or for her to not be who she was and that inadvertently made her feel like she wasn’t loved for who she was. That’s something I could understand. Being labeled as shy growing up, I felt like people didn’t like me for me. I was shy, quiet, and soft-spoken and people made me feel like that was wrong. There are days I still feel that hurt inside me because it felt like no one loved me for me and that if I wanted to be loved I had to be loud, outgoing, extroverted, everything I tried to be, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. It hurts when people attack qualities that make you who you are. So when Rika started tearing up from what Henry said, it was her releasing some of that hurt as relief that someone saw her and appreciated her for her. It also started to make her feel like she wasn’t the monster she thought she was. It sort of shifted this view of herself that she didn’t want to believe but she also had, again, grown to believe—a narrative she believed she deserved.

I also want to touch on anger not being a bad thing. But again, anger can sometimes be a toxic quality that goes too far in cases, and that’s when it becomes a bad thing. However, Rika wasn’t a bad person with toxic anger. There’s this quote I kept seeing all over social media, a quote I saw reflected in Sarah Kuhn’s writing:

“‘Sometimes [anger] is there to let you know when something’s wrong or to protect you from being mistreated or to tell you that you care. You can’t just reject it—you have to let yourself feel it, make room for it, or all that repressing will burn you up inside. You have to figure out a way to channel it. That’s what I finally realized I had to do.'”

(pg. 313)

Anger doesn’t have to be a negative emotion. We feel anger when we want to protect ourselves or protect others. I am not typically an angry person because that’s not my disposition, but I do get angry. It’s natural. In my anger, sometimes I wonder why am I feeling this way? What am I angry at? When I ask myself these questions, it’s usually about feeling wronged, scared, or hurt. If I’m being honest, I don’t like who I am when I’m angry because sometimes I can lash out at someone without meaning it, sort of like how Henry did to Rika, but I don’t think most people want to hurt others in their anger. I don’t think. But I think that sometimes it comes across that way because when we’re angry, we see red and it fogs our vision from thinking calmly or rationally to take the best course of action. That can be scary. I get scared of myself when I feel angry because it doesn’t feel like me. But I know I’m starting to change my perspective about anger because it’s another emotion we all have to sit with and understand. I’m more of a crier πŸ™ˆ and I know whenever I have a good cry, I need to sit down with myself and ask myself why am I crying or how do I really feel.

“‘That you have so much anger you’re constantly trying to repress.’

‘ I don’t actually repress it that well,’ I murmur. ‘Or like . . . ever.’

‘I think you do,’ Joanna insists. ‘I can tell it’s sitting inside of you, getting bigger every day. That you’re trying so hard to make yourself small.'”

(pg. 313)

We need to feel our emotions because if we don’t or we repress them, they can come out tenfold later on in worse ways.

“‘All this anger–it’s a totally understandable response to the hurt,’ Joanna says, her voice very soft. ‘I know exactly what that feels like.’

‘Why?’ The word escapes my lips, barely a whisper. ‘Why do I feel this way?’

‘Because . . . some of the awful things people have said to you? You’ve heard them so many times, you secretly believe they’re true.'”

(pg. 314)

FREAK. Sarah Kuhn, call me out, why don’t you????? πŸ€ͺ

But when I read this quote, I was like Darn. That hit. Straight to the heart.

*sigh*

I felt that.

Because when you people say all these things abbot you so much, sometimes you start to believe them. You start to think that’s all you can be. That that is all you are. And when it’s not necessary a good thing, you doubt–hate–yourself for it.

I wanted to hug Rika πŸ’•.

“But my heart was shut up too tight to ever see it. And the more hurt I was by someone’s words . . . the more I was convinced that I was a mistake. . . the more closed-off I became.”

(pg. 394)

Gosh did I feel that.

This sentiment goes back to her anger being something that protected her. Her anger also closed herself off, which translated as that darkness and feeling alone emotion I touched on earlier. But with every bit of anger, comes sadness and vice versa. I don’t think you can have one without the other.

“That sad girl who doesn’t want to admit she’s sad. That girl who can’t seem to stop waiting for someone to want her. That girl who knows the exact yearning in this photo because she’ been feeling it in little bits and pieces every day for her entire life. . . I’ve started holding my breath without even knowing it. Trying with all my might to be still. If only I can be still enough, maybe I’ll disappear.

(pg. 311)

This quote also hit me in the heart.

Part of Rika felt sad because no one chose her and no one seemed to love her. Deep down she was sad that people were ashamed of her anger. She was sad that she was alone in this world without a real connection. It was why she wanted to find her mom so badly. The photo Rika was looking at was of a young Grace at the onryo tree, a longing, despondent look in her eye. The same look Rika had sometimes. It’s amazing how the tree was their safe place to go to disappear or hide–the shadows. But Grace and Rika both didn’t feel wanted from a young age—Grace with being practically disowned at fifteen for getting pregnant with Rika and being shunned by her community. And Rika with being turned down by her community as well for having no mother and for her unruly temper. They connected in their sorrow—their darkness.

“Only this time, maybe I didn’t want it to be sad.”

(pg. 190)

Rika didn’t want a sad story as much as people made her feel like that was what she deserved. When Rika and Henry were in the caves and she talked about feeling lonely, I could feel her sorrow. It’s a sorrow I know well. I wanted to hug her πŸ₯Ί. And when she talked about wanting someone to come for her (pg. 188), my heart continued to ache because she was just another person who needed someone to support her and love her for her. She secretly revealed her heart because she wanted someone to save her or be there for her the way a princess wanted someone to come for them. But she didn’t let herself ever wish that someone would come for her because she painted herself as this monster in a cave—love the symbolism by the way, Sarah Kuhn πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ.

All Rika’s anger, sadness, and darkness, made herself closed off to everyone in her life.

“‘My mom says that hope is like opening your heart,’ he says, his eyes searching my face. ‘But that means you’re opening it up to everything. To so much hurting.’

I set my now-empty curry container aside, trying to picture my own heart: a closed-tight door, shrouded in darkness. No hope let out. Definitely nothing coming in.

Only that’s not the image that comes up. Instead I see a door cracked open the tiniest little bit, a barely perceptible smudge of light spilling out.”

(pg. 237)

Because Henry opened up her heart, bit by bit. He opened up her heart with hope back in the library and the zoo caves. He opened up her heart every time he let her into his. He opened up her heart when he affirmed how much her big heart was worth loving and being loved.

“And I also feel . . . for me. For the girl who’s spent her entire life lunging at everyone in her path with her fangs bared, because she didn’t quite know how to love. Or how to be loved.

We both needed each other so badly without knowing it.”

(pg. 414)

I loved how they were both princes for each other because they saved each other (pg. 245).

Also, I just want to shout out Sarah Kuhn, because MY GOSH did I just LOVE the whole calligraphic once upon a time (OUAT) snippet pages!!!! πŸ₯°πŸ’• Big fan! I thought that adding those pages were sooooo clever and they were fun to read. My favorite OUAT page was the one after they were in the cave and it talked about how they were both showing up for each other in being warriors that faced their dragons. I loved that for them πŸ’•

But back to the review.

In Rika’s life there was Eliza, her best friend.

Because the Nikkei week parade was sort of ruined by Grace running away, Eliza and Rika couldn’t demonstrate their judo skills for that UCLA scout. Rika blamed herself for ruining that parade and hindering the chances of the UCLA recruit seeing them, so whenever her Sensei Mary or Eliza would text Rika, she would ignore it because she thought she hated them. I just wanted to scream in Rika’s ear that they weren’t texting or calling this much because they hated her. They cared about her and were probably worried. I loved that Henry gave the courage to Rika to face Sensei Mary and Eliza at the dojo. Henry also wanted to learn some judo skills for his audition that Rika talked him into. So what better place than a dojo?

I wasn’t surprised that Sensei Mary and Eliza were eager and jovial to see Rika. I loved how Sarah Kuhn put the careful detail in how they hugged Rika—like they didn’t want to let go. This reminded me of something I read with how Disney Characters at Disneyland are told not to let go from a hug first because you never know how long a person needs a hug or something like that. I felt they all needed this hug with Rika. I also loved loved loved the whole trust fall backstory and metaphor πŸ’•!! It was soooo good. It symbolized how Rika dint’ trust easily, but at the dojo she learned to trust Eliza because Eliza was the first person who was her partner when no one wanted to be Rika the Biter’s partner. I loved how Rika had the realization that Eliza was always there to catch her when she fell.

“Eliza used to call out: ‘Don’t worry, Rika, I will catch you! Just let yourself fall!’

. . . And Eliza did catch me. Every time, hearing what they’re saying . . .I matter to them.”

(pg. 256-7)

Yea, you did! 😁

But I just loved that. I also loved how touchy-feely-intimate the training scene was. I LOVED how huffy and breathy Henry was because he was distracted by touching Rika 😏. I love when authors write very blatant touchy scenes like teaching the person how to swim, play pool, play a sport or something and how close it brings the characters. It’s the tension for me. I LAUGHED with how Sensei Mary caught the vibe πŸ˜‚. She said the hormones are here! But I also thought it was sweetly enduring how Henry didn’t want to hurt Rika at first, so he was super gentle with her πŸ₯Ί. Cute. But then he trusted that Rika could hold her own and they found a natural rhythm together. I loved how Sensei Mary left them alone in the dojo. She knew what she was doing πŸ€ͺ! I loved that for her. I found it funny that they were actually distracted this time for a different reason and how Rika fell down and Henry was so worried that he flipped her too hard or wrong and then she straddled him and he was all dazed for a second. I LAUGHED. Sis, you’re straddling him, of course he’s not thinking. But what I loved most about this scene was how Sarah Kuhn brought their relationship back to the trust fall metaphor.

Rika finally let herself fall for Henry because she trusted him. I LOVED THAT πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ.

Then there was also Belle and Rory in her life. Rika felt like she could tell things to them because they wouldn’t understand and she felt like a pariah to their sisterhood. But when Rika started opening up to them, it was such a beautiful thing to see 😊—to feel. I knew Belle and Rory thought of Rika as an honest to gosh sister and they just wanted her to let them in. I loved how excited Belle and Rory were for her to find Grace. I loved how sisterly Belle was about Rika having a thing with Henry.

“Because I know if I put these too-big feelings out there, it’s like they become . . . real?”

(pg. 278)

It’s hard to put strong emotions out in the world because it somehow does feel even more real–sort of like manifestation or truth or something. But I loved how Belle invited everyone to come hear Rika’s emotional tell all because Rika didn’t talk about her feelings that often. I loved Belle! πŸ’•

I loved the entire interaction between Belle, Rory, Eliza, and Rika at the restaurant. They were so cute. I freaking cracked up with how Eliza straight up asked if her and Henry did it on the dojo mats πŸ˜‚. We love to hear it! I also loved how Rory was slightly mad at Rika because Rory stole her boyfriend πŸ˜‚. That’s such a sister thing to say. But I loved how Rika let them in even if part of her was scared they would judge her or not care because that’s what she’s used to feeling—Rika is used to assuming the worst in herself and that no one would care or love her. But they all cared for her and loved her and it made me sad how Rika couldn’t see it. It was also very sweet to see Rika feel scared of her emotions because she wanted to be happy but didn’t know if she deserved it.

Everyone deserves happiness, and it’s not something anyone should make you feel like you have to earn or have no right to.

“‘I don’t trust it,” I say abruptly.

Eliza shakes her head at me. ‘What?’

‘This feeling,’ I say, leaning forward and resting my elbows on the table. . . . ‘You know–Team Princess. I usually feel like I don’t belong anywhere.'”

(pg. 288)

But when Rika opened up her heart to how she felt, they were all able to open up their hearts as well. It’s starting the conversation, I tell you 😊.

Rika needed to hear how they all felt like outsiders sometimes because it reassured her she wasn’t as alone as she thought. I think it shook Rika to realize that everyone in her life understood her this whole time yet no one talked about it. This makes me think about the quote of how the grass is always greener on the other side–sometimes we think someone is perfect or has it all, but really they might not be doing well and are feeling exactly like you are. Sarah Kuhn wrote a fence metaphor that’s similar to the grass metaphor. I really loved the fence metaphor in how Rika always viewed her friends and cousins on the other side of a fence, one she stood on the other side of because she didn’t fit in. But all this time, they were on the same side of the fence. I loved how when Rika realized that, it opened up even more of her heart to hope.

“‘It’s like no one sees all of me, exactly. Because no one wants to.’

. . .That everyone at some point, doesn’t feel like a whole version of themselves.”

(pg. 291)

I loved that πŸ’•.

The quote goes back to being half of something and how even if we might not be half an ethnicity, I feel like most can relate to not feeling like a whole version of themselves because we don’t feel like we belong or we have to change parts of ourselves to “fit in.” We should already be fitting in.

Rika also met people along the way who made her feel less alone.

She met Henry’s Asian Hollywood friends. The way Rika instantly felt connected to them or felt accepted was such a powerful thing. I think Henry’s community of friends represented how she had been hanging around not the best community of people if they didn’t accept her for her because here she was, feeling like she finally fit in with a group. I loved how all these people also noticeably cared for Henry.

There was one Asian Hollywood friend that stood out: Joanna. I loved her role in the book—as the fairy godmother!!! How freaking cool! I loved it πŸ’•!! I also have to say la DUH! I knew the the end of Nikkei week gala was going to be the ball of every fairy tale!

We can’t have a fairy tale without a ball!

I thought it was kind of upfront when Joanna told Rika that she saw how Rika didn’t believe in fairy tales because Rika didn’t feel like she deserved it. I mean, Joanna wasn’t wrong, just not something I think most people would say to someone when they first met them. But I liked how we saw Joanna again at Henry’s addition where Henry auditioned and Rika went to find Grace’s trailer where they were doing reshoots for the movies. Rika got lost on set, but I liked how Joanna was there to guide Rika. To be honest, I knew Rika wasn’t going to find her mom until the very end somewhere unexpected like at home because it would be funny that she spent all this time and effort looking for Grace and Grace would be where they lived the whole time. So I wasn’t surprised Grace wasn’t on set. But when they found the puffy, sparkly dress, I was like there goes her Cinderella dress! gosh, I give Rika credit for DRAGGING that dress with her πŸ€ͺ. That’s called dedication! And how fitting that Rika found her dress while her fairy godmother was there.

After the audition, Henry got a call that said he got the part. To celebrate, Henry took Rika to the San Diego Pier because Henry loves cheese πŸ˜†. I bet he puts cheese in his Egg McMuffins πŸ˜‚.

It was pleasantly surprising to hear how Rika feared roller coasters. I don’t like them either. But I thought she would have because she was so brave. But I completely understood how she didn’t like losing control because it related to her temper and being told her whole life to control her temper or reign it in. Being on a roller coaster was the absence and the true test of control because when you’re on a roller coaster, everything just comes out. As someone who always tried to make herself smaller in her temper, letting go felt wrong. Scary.

“‘Every feeling you’ve been having, every emotion you’ve been shoving down or holding so tightly comes tumbling out. You can’t stop it. You scream. You have to feel things.”

(pg. 333)

I wanted to scream at Rika to LET HER FREAK FLAG FLY πŸ€ͺ! Scream sis!!!

Release those emotions! LET IT GO!!!

I loved how Rika decided to release the tension and emotions by saying yes to riding the roller coaster. I loved how Henry talked about why roller coasters gave him a loss of control because he can just freely be who he wanted to be without expectation or this perfect facade I talked about earlier. He could just be a kid, scared, screaming shizless. I loved loved loved how Henry told her that if she got nervous to hold his hand πŸ₯Ί. Then when they were flying on the coaster, I felt like I was soaring through an emotional roller coaster epiphany with Rika. I felt her joy and elation and her release. I felt her wanting to be happy and feeling like she deserved it.

“I don’t want that happy ending, goshdammit.”

(pg. 341)

YEA, YOU DO!!

GOoD 4 U πŸ€ͺ!

I loved how when the ride took off, she did ask Henry to hold her hand πŸ₯Ί!! Hold her Henry!!! Then as the ride fell, I loved how her tears fell too because she realized how much she wanted a happy ending–how much she deserved it. She finally felt that for herself. I loved how Sarah Kuhn described the emotions Rika felt after riding the roller coaster–how liberated she felt. I FELT that. It was just pure perfection—chef’s kisses πŸ˜˜πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ. I loved the word choice of liberated because it felt like a liberation—a freeing feeling where Rika just broke down in tears and uncontrolled exhilaration to finally feel what she needed to feel. She let go and that allowed her to feel liberated. I LOVED that πŸ’•

I loved loved loved—lived for, really—the conversation that Rika and Henry had on the beach. SUCH an INTIMATE and BEAUTIFUL conversation for two teenagers and I loved it. I loved how Rika opened up to Henry about how she found all these people along the way that helped her feel like she belonged somewhere. I kind of knew that when Rika would go on this journey, she wouldn’t find her mom right away and would find other people who made her feel less alone—it felt like the storyline the book was taking. But I loved reading how the story played out and all these amazing moments and conversations Rika had that led her to that moment on the beach with Henry. I loved how Rika talked about how she was so focused on protecting herself because she closed herself off too many times from hurt because of the hurt she felt so young.I felt like her opening up to Henry was like a metaphorical wall broke down inside of her. I also loved the way Henry had his whole spiel about how he loved Rika for her—how he saw the whole her and loved all the bits and pieces of her that other people made her not love.

I think when you find someone who loves you for things you used to not like about yourself, that person is really special and you should hold onto them.

I loved how Henry also felt like he could completely be himself around Rika because she understood and pushed him to be the best version of himself. They made each other better and I loved that πŸ’•.

“I swallow my tears–I can’t quite look at him yet, but my heart suddenly feels too big for my body, impossible to contain.”

(pg. 348)

When Rika felt this ini the book, I legit laughed because that’s how I felt about the entire roller coaster and beach scene. MY GOSH 😭.

BUT I CACKLED with how they wanted to do it on the beach πŸ˜‚. I’m sorry, do you know the sand that will literally go everywhere. And don’t even get me started on how that was a public beach and no kid needs to be traumatized tonight πŸ€ͺ. If they did it on the beach, who cares about the Egg McMuffin scandal!!! YIKES. No, but then Henry suggested going back to his apartment, which I like, “Yea, Henry. Keep it classy!”

BUT THEN THEY REALLY DID IT IN A CAR πŸ˜‚!!! That’s such a teenage move to do. I CRACKED UP. Henry really said I had protection in my car too. Wow. His mom raised him right πŸ˜‚.

I will say it was soooo sweet how gentle, new, and vulnerable that moment in the car was for them. Gosh, Henry was so sweet in asking her if she was okay and everything. I don’t know about you, I was a mixture of laughter and endearment.

Of course after they connected, things went to pieces πŸ€ͺ.

A scandal came out about Grace Kimura having a secret love child and it instantly made Rika feel overwhelmed and she retreated into herself. I felt like having Rika retreat into herself was such a powerful move to do because her personality and qualities was ultimately what she was battling in this book and it felt significant that that be the reason that she ran away from Henry after they just connected. You know, the fallout movement of a book. But in that moment, Rika could only think about how much she was a mistake and how much this scandal would ruin the lives around her. She was so quick to throw herself away, to think the absolute worst in herself, and to write herself out of people’s lives again because she thought they didn’t want her in it. And this made me think about how powerful the mind can be because no one was telling her they didn’t love her or want her. They showed her time and time again that she was loved and they would be there when she fell. But I think that subtle comments and interpretations of events can greatly impact how a person feels about themselves—words do hurt. Words and actions hurt Rika so much she didn’t believe the best in her. That hurt my heart because it was all how she felt—not that anything was her fault—but how the mind is powerful and can make us believe things that we want to believe or think we should believe.

It hurt my heart the way she pushed Henry away in those final moments at the beach, but I knew she was just reacting the way she always knew how to do. She didn’t want to hurt him. When Henry asked her “Why do you make it so hard for people to love you?” (pg. 360), I had to pause. Wow. That hit. I felt that question shook something in my core because it goes back to another quote I wrote above in how sometimes when we haven’t felt loved as people, we don’t. know how to be loved because we’re not used to it. Rika didn’t know how to be loved because she had never felt loved fully before. I don’t think she meant to be “difficult” to love, she just didn’t know how.

I thought it was iconic that she ran out of the car in her Cinderella moment with the dress in her hand. I love to see it.

Rika ran to the onryo tree because it felt like the only place she could go to when she didn’t know who would love her. My heart hurt for Rika 😒. I remembered when I was younger, I once hid somewhere after I had an argument with my parents. I remember I fell asleep in that hiding spot—for how long, I’m not sure—but I remember I woke up and I heard laughter like everything was fine. And then I finally heard someone look for me, like they didn’t even notice I was gone until I woke up and it was like, “Oh, where did she go?” I sometimes think back to that moment because it was one of the saddest moments I felt as a kid. I felt like no one loved me and no one cared if I was gone because they didn’t even come look for me until they eventually realized I was missing. It’s the eventually part that broke my heart because I guess, yes, they would have come looking for me at one point, but then again, it’s that other part of what if they didn’t. I felt like I understood Rika and how she hid in that tree—how sad she felt.

But Sensei Mary, Eliza, Belle, Rory, and her aunts all found her. I just wanted Rika to know that they were looking for her not to yell or scold her, but because they were worried for her. I felt bad that she ever believed otherwise. I also loved how Joanna was there because of course she needed to be.

Rika had Aunt Suzy and Aunt Och in her life.

We see them sparingly in the beginning and not so much the middle of the book. But whenever we hear about Aunt Suzy, it’s always about how hard a worker she was and how tired she seemed—almost like Rika made her exhausted. Aunt Och was described as vibrant and lively—both Aunts were that way. I think it was hard for Rika not to feel like she drained the life out of Aunt Suzy because Rika was a firecracker.

But they really needed to be honest with Rika and what happened. I thought it was fitting that Aunt Och gave the whole Grace backstory in fairy tale terms. The more I heard about Grace’s past with being exiled and forgotten by her dad and then her community, the sadder I felt. Grace was just a young girl and they placed blame and shame on her rather than supporting or helping her. This made me think about how people also blamed and shamed Rika as Rika the Biter when it was Craig’s fault. I don’t know how old or who Rika’s dad was, but he had to own up to his fault too—getting pregnant at a young age wasn’t all on Grace. Grace left Rika with Aunt Suzy while Grace left Little Tokyo—the people who shunned her—to change her name and pursue her lifelong acting dream. Grace contacted Aunt Suzy about taking in Rika after Grace’s career took off and Rika was a bit older, but then Aunt Suzy said it wasn’t the right time to flip Rika’s world upside down—bring her into the public eye with everything going on. So Aunt Suzy continued to keep Grace a secret and Grace never talked to Aunt Suzy after that. I loved how secretly Aunt Och shook the boat πŸ˜‰ by giving Rika the orange Yukata the day of the parade because Aunt Och knew Grace would be there and would recognize the Yukata. Aunt Och said, let me shake things up for fun πŸ˜†!! She truly jump started this story.

I loved loved loved the moment when Rika hugged Aunt Suzy instead of getting angry with her for keeping this huge secret about Rika’s life. I loved the mature epiphany moment Rika had in how much of a fighter Aunt Suzy was for her and Grace and how Aunt Suzy wasn’t tired from Rika, but she fought so many battles for her sister and the community, that it was tiring.

“‘We have too many secrets. Too much shame in our secrets.’

‘Sounds like the Asian way,’ I mutter under my breath.

(pg. 384)

When I read that, I nodded my head. Aunt Och wasn’t wrong.

In many Asian families, I have found that there are secrets that we keep because we feel ashamed of it or it brings dishonor or disrespect to our names. And we bottle up these secrets and judge others for when their secrets come out. In actuality, we have no room to judge other people and what goes on in their life because if it’s not our life, it’s not our business. Who are we to judge others? They were a community and they should work as a community.

That’s another thing I enjoyed about the book: the conversation about community and unity.

“‘And communities need to change and grow along with the people in them.'”

(pg. 388)

Honestly, good for the people in the community who felt ashamed for the way they treated Grace in the past and how they treated Rika. I mean, it was never okay or kind. They should feel guilty. It’s not okay to turn on people in your community or anyone really. I liked what was said in the quote above because it’s a sentiment I feel like Asian communities are trying to do in the 21st century—growing, but also maintaining tradition. There’s nothing wrong with that. Growth is natural and it moves people forward. There needed to be a change in the community.

GOSH when freaking crusty CRAIG walked into Katsu That on his high horse, I was like someone kick this guy out! AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO act all smug because he was the one who found the photos Rika lost and gave them to the media.

CRUSTY CRAIG IS GARBAGE πŸ˜‘πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ!!!!! BOO YOU!

What I loved about this moment was how everyone sided with Rika and the Aunts to kick Craig to the curb because they realized that they were fighting on the wrong side just because they were scared of Craig and his father’s power. But there is strength in the good fight and there is strength in community. I felt like Craig personified the quote-on-quote villain. But at the same time, I LOVED how Rika used what she learned throughout her journey to harness her kaiju-temper to rage on Craig in a powerful way that verbally bit back. She took hold of her power and POPPED OFF ON him!!! I loved that for her because it was self-empowerment πŸ‘πŸΌ!

“‘A person can’t be a mistake.

(pg. 390)

You go Rika!! You weren’t a mistake and your anger’s not a mistake, it’s a passion. It’s a protection. It’s a fiery entity that cares so much.

When Rika reclaimed her power, she opened up her heart even more, she could understand herself better.

“I remember her telling me I don’t believe in happy endings because I don’t think I deserve one.

That’s only part of the truth, though. The other part is that I’ve always been scared to hope for one because I secretly knew it meant putting my whole heart at risk. It was so much easier to be . . . well, what I thought I was the nure-onna.”

(pg. 397

Another moment I loved was the whole grand gesture where Rika put on her princess dress to run to her prince. I LOVED that for her πŸ’•.

“‘We’re all our own kind of princess, Rika-chan . . . it just took you forever to figure out yours.'”

(pg. 400)

I loved this sentiment.

The quote makes me think about the Disney princess commercials I would see growing up where they had a bunch of little girls dressed as Disney princesses and saying “I am a Disney Princess.” Do you know that commercial? πŸ˜† But the commercial and Belle were right, everyone is their own sort of princess. Princesses can be whoever and whatever they want because what makes them a princess isn’t how they look, but their heart and their power—a princess is what you make of it. A princess is her inner strength. Rika wasn’t a picture perfect princess, but she was her own nure-onna princess and I loved that.

From the minute the book mentioned the Meet Me Again plot line (Grace’s breakout movie), I was like, that’s how Rika and Henry are going to reconnect after things fall apart. It just seemed like the grandest, rightest thing that should happen. And happened, it did.

I loved how Henry stared at the water all sulkily because he’s waiting for her to show up just like in the movie, but in a reverse uno sort of way. I loved how Rika ran to him in her big poofy, dirty princess dress—your unconventional princess. I loved loved loved how Belle, Eliza, Rory, and the Aunts were egging her on and screaming in the background πŸ˜‚. We love a supportive grand gesture moment!! SO CUTE. So good. I honestly just loved the grandness of the moment and how Sarah Kuhn immersed me in the scene. The drama, the word choice, the passion. It was all there. It was sooo good. I LOVED and LIVED for Rika’s I love you speech to Henry and how she was sorry. I loved how it was her big proclamation as it was a reclamation. I loved how she let herself fall and be vulnerable with him and how that scared her. I loved how Sarah Kuhn took us back to the fall and the trash metaphors—everything was written soooo well! I felt all the feels πŸ₯ΊπŸ’•!

I also loved how they were both the princesses who came for each other because they showed up for each other and they fought for each other.

JUST SUCH EXCELLENT WRITING I KID YOU NOT.

The book did end with a grand ball—the gala. The gala where everyone hoped Grace would show up after everyone’s efforts to spam social media in the hopes Grace saw and would return to Little Tokyo to finish out Nikkei week.

I loved how Henry kept his promise and taught Rika how to dance. I loved how cheesy it was for both of them πŸ˜‰. That’s some cheese humor for Henry,

Grace did go to the ball, but then she ran out and hid in the onryo tree where Rika followed her to. I loved the intimate scene between Grace and Rika because it wasn’t this grand thing of them crying into each other’s arms and instantly connecting. It was them both feeling conflicted and alone and not knowing how to love each other or be loved. I loved how they related to each other and how Rika could understand and feel the pain Grace felt. Seeing Grace, I felt like she was just as hurt and scared like Rika as a kid and she still lived with that hurt. I mean, I don’t blame her for being terrified to return to a place that shunned her like it did and made her feel shamed. I will say I would have liked to see more of them after they connected because I felt like Grace was the character we chased after in the book and we got to see her in bits and parts but not really as an active character. But I loved that she and Rika were going to try to take their relationship slow and figure out how to be a family.

“I’ve learned that you can make your own happy ending. And it doesn’t have to look like the ones in rom-coms or fairy tales or . . . or sad Japanese folklore stories about fierce monster women. It can look like none of those things—or all of them at once. It can look however you want it to look. It’s yours.”

(pg. 416)

Dang.

DANG πŸ‘πŸΌ. Rika was wiser than any person twice her age from just one week of going on such an incredible journey.

In the great words of Devi Vvishwakumar: “She was wise and shiz.” Take advice from Rika!

But I loved the sentiment of this quote because happily ever after can be what we want of it just like being a princess. It’s our HEA and our HEA being different from the normal or the traditional idea of a HEA, doesn’t take away from our version. So I loved that. I also loved how Sarah Kuhn tied back the whole HEA idea at the end because it truly wouldn’t have been a fairy tale without a HEA moment. I loved how Rika was with Henry, enjoying the gala and seeing her friends and family around them. I loved how much Rika had grown over the course of the novel with how we see her as someone ashamed and embarrassed to herself. She just felt constantly angry all the time because she was angry that people made her feel ashamed for herself and that translated to others. But when she met Henry and all these people who made her feel like she belonged, she realized how much she was loved and appreciated as who she was. And there is nothing more powerful than that. There’s this quote I read somewhere on the great wide web about how there will be people who love and accept you for you and those are the people you should surround yourself with because you shouldn’t diminish yourself for others. I truly believe that if someone loves you, they will make you feel loved for who you are. No ifs, ands, buts, or whatever’s. And if someone doesn’t, move on because there will be. But also allow yourself to know that you are worthy and deserving of being loved as you are and don’t settle for less than that because people make you feel less then. I don’t know you, but I think you have a great heart and a wonderful personality that people will love. Share that with the world and someone will love that. They will appreciate you for you πŸ’•.

“Because there’s nothing wrong with being angry. You need that anger to tell you when something’s not right. To tell you when you care. To show you when you need to fight hard for what you want and stand up for the people you love.

The door to my heart is wide open, and I know exactly where I belong.

‘It’s not the kind of happily ever after I impinged,’ I say. ‘But it’s mine. And I’m finally ready for it.'”

(pg. 421)

πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί AWWWWWWWWW πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί

Anyway, what a wonderfully beautiful story and this review was wayyyyy too long because I had so much I wanted to talk and gush about and I don’t regret a thing πŸ™ˆ.

What was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Who’s your favorite fairy tale character? I liked Rapunzel because Tangled’s my favorite Disney Princess movie. But I watched Once Upon a Time (a TV show) when it first came out, and I have to say Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen and Robert Caryle as Rumpelstiltskin were FANTASTIC and I loved their characters πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ!

Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about?  Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all πŸ’•

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Pastel New Sig

Rating

5 Full Bloom Flowers and Then-some

Characters: Rika has so much depth and complexity to her and it makes you love her in so many ways. You will have such a wonderful time seeing Rika grow on the journey to fight for the happy ending she deserves. Also, Henry was such a sweet gentleman–an absolute prince. I loved the diversity and range of the cast πŸ’•.

Plot: A magical-whirlwind-fairy-tale-roller-coaster-kick-butt-heart-melting read that will leave you feeling happily ever after.

Writing: GOSH do I aspire to write as well as Sarah Kuhn! There are so many stylistic aspects that were pure gold and I love a running metaphor! Sooo good.

Romance: Swoon worthy and dreamy! I loved how Sarah Kuhn captured young love and two complex people who brought out the best in each other—they really were the prince and the princess

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