June 2019 Quote: True Beauty

“We are perfectly imperfect and beautiful within because beauty isn’t skin deep, it’s deeper than the skin.”

– floweringpages

To the beautiful or handsome person reading this,

I remember a few years ago, my sister was at a pageant and if you’re like me, you love pageants and the whole idea of a girl getting glammed up with the shiny dresses and the styled hair. I loved watching the talent portions and how all the girls would dance lyrically or sing a heartfelt ballad like some Disney princess. Then there would come the time for the evening dress portion and each girl would walk down the stage to the microphone and say some one liner and I remember this girl saying something along the lines of what was said above. So if this girl is happening to read this, then credit to her, but I think that there’s something so powerful about what she said that made me just want to take what she spoke and write it down for others to read.

So read those three lines again in the beginning.

Take it in.

Soak in it.

Because I think at the end of the day, it’s kind of ironic how she said those words at a beauty pageant where people judge you for your beauty and who you are.

To be completely honest, as much as I enjoy beauty pageants, there’s also a part of me that dislike it’s purpose through and through. There’s just something very dehumanizing about having boys or girls walk down a runway showcasing their “natural beauty” and their talents for everyone to see and for a bunch of old men or woman to judge a kid based on what they see for an hour. A person really can’t be judged based on their talents, their words, or their looks at a given moment because people are a collection of talents, words, and looks. And it’s highly disheartening to see all these beautiful boys and girls walk up on stage, knowing only one person will be crowned the winner, when in reality all kids—-all people—-are beautiful no matter what.

I mean, we live in such a beauty oriented society with idealized body images and looks of what a person should be. I bet we’ve all walked past the magazines in the grocery aisle or saw someone on social media, thinking to ourselves, “Why can’t I look like that?” or “Why can’t I be him/her?” or “How are they so beautiful?” Don’t worry, even I have fallen down that rabbit hole more than once. And that’s because as a kid we grow up exposed to all these images of skinny, of the big butts, of the bigger chest, of the abs, of the Colgate smile. We grew up with all these photoshopped, overly dramatized, and made up looks that aren’t even real, but we believe to be real so we think that we have to look like that too.

I think That’s So Raven put it best in that one episode where she tried to model for this company, but they wouldn’t let her because she wasn’t the right size—because she was “curvier.” It was the part when Raven pointed to the picture of the skinny, blonde, blue-eyed model in the background and said that that isn’t real and that even the model doesn’t look like that in real life.

So I think sometimes we have to remind ourselves, that the pictures and images we see of all the people we idolize to be, aren’t even real depictions of who they are but a standard we have set.

And I’ve always wondered, why is skinny, big chest, big butt, or abs the standard?

Who said one day that that’s what people had to look like to be beautiful or to be happy?

Who FREAKING says?

One of my teacher told me once, that maybe people like big butts and big chests because they see it as primal nature of bigger chests and butts meaning more kids and the livelihood of the next generation. I’ve never thought of it like that, but it still kind of makes me wonder, why is it such a big deal?

Imagine if the standard were different and curvier girls and guys were the standard. Would that mean skinny people would feel pressured to be that norm?

I guess, at the end of the day, there’s really no pleasing yourself because there’s always going to be this standard that people want to be a part of to fit in, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

No matter what beauty standard you try to live up to, you’re never going to reach it.

Never.

And that’s because everyone is beautiful in their own way and their is no exact way to be beautiful or to be handsome because you can only be you and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

You can be curvier, you can have a flat chest, you can have love handles, you can have beauty marks or scars on your skin—–you can have all these “imperfections” and still be beautiful.

Beauty is ABSOLUTELY 100% subjective and what one person sees as beautiful isn’t going to be what another person sees.

You can’t please them all.

So you have to please yourself because your body is yours and you have to learn to be proud and happy with it.

And if you are happy and proud of it, then PLEASE, please, don’t let anyone take that away from you.

For so long we’ve lived in a world where there have been these unrealistic standards of beauty that we want to achieve, but I say lets forget about these standards and start embracing who we are and be proud of our imperfections that make us us.

We have to be the people that change the narrative—-change the image of what defines beauty.

Beauty is your imperfections.

Beauty is more than what you look like.

Beauty is how you hold your chin up when people sneer down at you.

Beauty is smiling at yourself in the mirror when you feel at your worse.

Beauty is complimenting other people about how they look; it’s about empowerment.

Beauty is how you express yourself to others and the world.

Beauty is you.

Beauty is what’s on the inside that reflects on the outside.

If you feel beautiful to your core and you’re cemented in that, nothing will make you feel like you have to change to fit some standard of what beauty is. Nothing.

So instead of spending so much time looking at other girls and boys wondering why you can’t look like them, I want you to take time to look in the mirror and start wondering, why can’t other see what I see?

That is the question you should be asking.

Because even if this is a blog and I can’t see you, I know that you are a beautiful person inside and out and I only wish you to be happy in this body you call home. You have to treat it with love and kindness and stop tearing it down.

If no one has told you this today or any day, I want you to know that you are beautiful or that you are handsome and that as long as you feel that, that’s all that matters, not the magazines or the social media pictures.

Your beauty isn’t measured by what others look like, but what you feel like.

So on this day forward, I hope you raise your chin up high and be proud of who you are.

You’re normal.

You’re good enough.

And you’re beautiful.

Never forget to tell yourself or others that.

And as always, with love,