Imagine Me by Tahereh Mafi Book Review

June 10, 2020

β€œIn the pain, I imagine bliss. My thoughts are like wind, rushing, curling into the depths of myself, expelling, dispelling darkness.

I imagine love.

I imagine wind.

I imagine gold hair and green eyes and whispers, laughter.

I imagine

Me

extraordinary, unbroken

the girl who shocked herself by surviving, the girl who loved herself through learning, the girl who respected her skin, understood her worth, found her strength

strong

stronger

strongest

Imagine me

master of my own universe

I am everything I ever dreamed of.”

(pg. 310)

About

Author: Tahereh Mafi

Genre: Young Adult Dystopian Fantasy

Series: Shatter Me Book 6

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Defy Me

Synopsis

Juliette Ferrars. Ella Sommers. Which is the truth and which is the lie? 

Now that Ella knows who Juliette is and what she was created for, things have only become more complicated. As she struggles to understand the past that haunts her and looks to a future more uncertain than ever, the lines between right and wrongβ€”between Ella and Julietteβ€”blur. And with old enemies looming, her destiny may not be her own to control.

The day of reckoning for the Reestablishment is coming. But she may not get to choose what side she fights on.

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To the Shatter Me loyalists,

Back when Ignite Me came out, I was like, this is the end of an era. It’s all over. I was so mentally prepared to never see Juliette, Warner (Aaron), Kenji, Adam, James, and Castle again. So prepared because other series have trained me that we don’t get to see what happens after just three books.

Then by a stroke of pure miracle, news that Tahereh was writing three more books for this series came forth into the world. I was SHOCKED. I never heard of an author finishing a series and then going back into the world. I was HERE for it. I was like, three more books? Yes, please! And now we’re here again, at the end of an era. And reading this was so reminiscent of how I felt when I read Ignite Me. But this time, I actually know (but never say never, am I right? πŸ˜…) that the Shatter Me series has officially come to a close. And that’s so weird. I grew up with this series. It was one of the dystopians I read after Divergent, the book that got me into reading. So it really does feel like the end of something huge.

But it’s also the beginning of something more for Tahereh and her career as an author. I am ecstatic for her and will forever support her. Because there are certain authors out there who’s voice are so strong you can practically hear them. Tahereh’s that author for me. I don’t need to read her words to know they are her words because she has such a unique writing style that is so descriptive and places you in that character’s shoes and environment. I could feel everything, I could hear it so crisply, I could see everything with so much clarity. And as someone who’s trying to write a book, I can fully say I give Tahereh my utmost respect because it’s not always easy to find the right words to describe something or make a reader feel a certain way. But she does it so effortlessly. Literally all my book notes for this review, is “Beautifully written,” because that is what all her writing is.

I just want to share some of my favorite things she wrote in this book because we all just need to soak up her writing like a fine wine πŸ˜†.

“The air, puncturing at random. Trees, sinking into the ground. Leaves, tap-dancing around me. I’m seeing it–I’m actively witnessing it—and I still can’t believe it.”

(pg. 26)

“Leaves, shuddering under the weight of resignation, yoked to branches too easily bent, broken. I dream of wind, lengths of it. Yards of wind, acres of wind, infinite whispers fusing to create a single breeze. I hear wind comb the wild grass of distant moutons, I hear wind howling confessions in empty, lonely plains. I hear the sh sh sh of desperate rivers trying to hiss the world in a fruitless effort to hush itself.”

(pg. 57)

I mean, I can hear the wind. I HAVE CHILLS.

“A kaleidoscope of dead butterflies kicked up by a brief, dry gust of wind.”

(pg. 215)

But let’s not forget my absolute favorite:

“It’s the sound of tearing flesh, an innocuous sound that reminds me of ripping open an orange.”

(pg. 385)

CAN YOU HEAR THE ORANGE RIPPING?

I CAN.

Just stunning.

STUNNING
STUNNING
STUNNING
She has a gift for STUNNING.

And this post can just be my utter appreciation and admiration for Tahereh because I will always be a fan of hers. If you’re new to Tahereh Mafi’s writing, she has a contemporary book called A Very Large Expanse of Sea, which is very personal to her experience and other Muslims and what it’s like to live in a world post 9/11. And she has another contemporary coming out called An Emotion of Great Delight, which is a delight within itself. She has a true voice for all genres.

Seriously, go read her other books. I can’t state that enough.

But this is an Imagine Me book review, so let’s talk about the book because gosh knows I can spend all day talking about how much I love Tahereh’s writing. I really could. πŸ˜…

If I’m being honest, the beginning really confused me.

Defy Me left off with everyone, I think, on a plane heading to the Sanctuary, I think, and they were celebrating Warner’s birthday because gosh only knows he’s never had a birthday cake in his life. I remember this because it was the first Tahereh book that ended on a positive, upbeat note, which I appreciated given everything these people have gone through. And I would just like to say, all these people have been through literal heck and back and they are UNDER 18. I mean, let’s cut them a break please! Gosh, don’t even get me started on everything because I have A LOT to say about how they deserved better!

So it really confused me when the book started and I think Juliette (Ella) and Warner were sleeping together in a tent. I don’t know how we got to a tent or where they were. And then I didn’t understand how all of a sudden in the next moment they were walking through the woods at night when they were just in a tent cuddling it up. I don’t know. And then, somewhere along the way it was mentioned how Kenji fell ill, but then we get to a Kenji chapter and he’s up and running and trying to kill Nazeera. I didn’t get it. I still don’t. It just reaaaallly didn’t click for me as to what they were doing or how we got there or what happened. There just seems like a lot of gray area missing about what happened after they celebrated Warner’s birthday. Did they land and that’s why they were camping? Why are we in the woods away from everyone else when we were originally with them? How was Kenji up and running when he was ill? Why did he want to kill Nazeera and what was that about?

It was also mentioned that Adam and James were captured, which I don’t remember happening in Defy Me. So there was also that.

I thought I missed a book.

I didn’t know.

And then Juliette her ear off in the woods, so much she goes into a coma-like state. This also kind of made me confused because Emmaline was invading her mind, but if Emmaline was her sister, why was she causing Juliette pain? I get that she was trying to give Juliette some of her memories back, but what else was she trying to do? How could she just easily displace Juliette like that?

While Juilette is sleeping, it brings up a lot of contentions.

First, was how she gave away their location to Anderson and the Reestablishment bad guys. They needed to have a plan to move, but Kenji was adamant that they wait for Juliette to wake up to make their plans. And in the meantime, I just thought it was hilarious how they drank tea and chatted like this was some sort of high tea with the queen moment. But it was a good moment away from all the actions and pain, so I liked it. It was cute how Winston and Brendan were still flirting and Kenji was teasing them endlessly for it, or how Kenji was avoiding Nazeera because he was scared to talk to her. I still don’t understand their relationship πŸ˜‚.

Everyone was backing off of Warner because he was mister grumpy pants, which I get. He literally proposed to Juliette and they were going to get married and now she was in a coma and he was losing her each day. It hurts to see the epos you love in pain. So it made sense when he resorted to being cold to everyone because he was just tired of all the pain. But I also felt like he was angry because he felt like he couldn’t do anything to save the one he loved.

“‘What happened to you, man?” I whisper. ‘Where’d you go?’

“[Heck],” he says. “I’ve finally found [heck].”

(pg. 84)

My heart just ached for Warner. I mean, his life sucked. His dad sucked. He just celebrated his birthday. And not everything is back to sucking. Everything sucked for him. But no matter how much everything sucked. His fiancΓ© was possibly dying—the light of his life was going. And that was heck.

I understood his pain and anger.

Then the icing on the cake was when Anderson sent all his men to the Sanctuary to invade them, which sucked. But let’s just talk about the warrior machine-like quality Warner had when staving off all those people like that was FIERCE, COLD, and SWIFT. It was beautiful πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ. Oh, and when he caught the machete without looking, I was like man, his dad trained a lethal, prime-time killing machine. He was so hurt on the inside and would do anything to protect Juliette, even turn himself in to his dad if he left Juliette and everyone else alone. In my head, I kept screaming, Warner, don’t do it. Don’t do it. But Anderson wasn’t having it with him. He wanted Juliette.

And I just want to say, freaking Anderson is like the Loki of the Shatter Me universe because gosh only knows he truly will not go away! πŸ˜‚ No matter how much we throw him in the ocean, stab him, or shoot him. He will just not let up. His book should be called Defy Me because gosh only knows he truly defies the odds.

Kenji and Nazeera got shot in the process, so the only one who could stop more devastation was Warner the Machine. In the midst of it all, Anderson and his men were able to get Juliette, which is something I’m still curious about. Where did Warner hide her before then? How did Anderson and his men actually find her? What happened to Kenji after he blacked out?

I think it would have been nice to know how they found her because it would make a lot more sense rather than her just waking up in his clutches the next moment we see her. I would say, Juliette’s third name based on this book is Sleeping Juliette. Because she’s out for a lot of it, and my gosh, I feel for her, but in those moments, she’s thinking of old memories and what it was like when she was trapped. Her mind’s also meshing with Emmaline’s, making it painful. When she is conscious, I like how we hear snippets of conversation of what Max, Ibrhiam, Anderson and Tatiana’s plan is. I would just like to say, as someone who just got done reading Chain of Gold, seeing the name Tatiana was triggering πŸ˜‚. What’s Tatiana doing here? I’m joking. But man, Tatiana. I still don’t know who she is.

After snippets of consciousness, Juliette becomes a subservient machine to Anderson, which was just darn right wrong. He kept telling her to call him “master” and “I am your master.” Sicko. Like, this isn’t Star Wars. He really does love the power.

But it was so dehumanizing and wrong to see Juliette obey him like a puppy—to follow around, do his beck and call.

It was honestly such a weird relationship, and it gave me soooo much chills.

I thought it was kind of comical that Juliette found him attractive because it made him HIGHLY uncomfortable. But it was also weird because Anderson, attractive? I mean, I bet he has to be if he’s “the man who spawned the two faces she’s known most intimately” (pg. 246). Still, it’s not like I think Anderson’s attractive. He has a cruel cruel heart. Juliette make him squirm in his uncomfortableness πŸ˜†! It felt disgusting how she was drawn to him and told him how he was “extremely handsome.” If this was the real Juliette, that would be the last thing that would come out her mouth!

Anderson is so full of himself though, and was like “I own you,” and “You tell me all your thoughts and things,” and I was like, are you serious? Are you that power hungry to subject her to telling you her every thought and action. Juliette was staring into the distance and he was like, “What are you thinking?”

And she was like:

“I was wondering, sir, if you would ever let me use the bathroom.”

(pg. 220)

Yea, because that’s the kind of thoughts Anderson has to be on guard for: Juliette’s need to pee πŸ˜‚. IDIOT.

Don’t even get me started on when he started to touch her cheek and asked her if she would jump out a window if he commanded her to. It reminded me of the situation where people say, “If someone says to jump out a window, would you actually do it?” Juliette would. What would Juliette do? Real Juliette would have thrown Anderson out the window and not say, “I would do it with pleasure, sir.” Ugh, she was so respectful to him during this, calling him sir. It disgusted me. Then she went all animalistic on this innocent dude named Darius. What did Darius ever do to her?

It was ridiculous.

In this book, we really get to see Anderson as weaker, and it was such an interesting perspective for him. I never even knew Anderson had friends, but it made sense that he was friends with Max. You know, two psycho maniac parents laughing it up in their mutual crazy πŸ˜…. What really made me feel like Anderson was ‘weaker’ was the way he obviously was trying to assert and prove his authority to everyone with Juliette as his walking guard. He worked up to having her bow to his every whim and now that he had it, it wasn’t everything he dreamt of. She had a crush on him and she had random thoughts. It seemed too easy and that bothered him. It also did the opposite because to everyone else, he was a burden. Something Tahereh empathized a lot with Anderson was how he was like a sack of potatoes that dragged everyone down with how much he constantly got hurt and they all had to drop their plans and resources to heal them. Being that Max was his friend, Max helped him and aided him in healing. But that took away from Emmaline and strengthening the Reestablishment. I could understand Ibrahim’s anger at him, but I think Ibrahim was angry at Anderson’s role as well. Ibrahim is someone I would have liked to know better because I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t remember him much from the last two books, but he seems to have a lot more command with him. He seemed more powerful than Anderson, or that he wanted to be. So it was kind of sad that his life was cut so shortly and easily from him when he seemed like a strong man.

So I really thought that like everyone, Anderson was tired of fighting and he wanted all of this to be over. Because it really was creepy beyond words that he allowed Juliette in his bed after he told her to get off his finger. Juliette was supposed to stand outside his door, but then a hologram of Valentina Castillo (a Supreme Kid) guided her to this doorway where the real Supreme kids were in tubes. It gave me Maze Runner vibes with that scene with people in the tubes. I really don’t know why they kept the Supreme kids in tubes. What did they ever do to deserve that? Why did they need them in tubes?

Anderson found her there and because she wasn’t standing guard where she was, he told her to cut off her finger. “Why could he possibly need a finger?” I know he just did it to, again, feel powerful, but still did he really need a finger? Juliette should have given him the middle finger πŸ˜‚.

Then out of all things, I found it UTTERLY DISGUSTING that he let her sleep in his bed. I mean, why don’t we put a beautiful, innocent, helpless girl on a crazy, psycho, lonely-man’s bed, why don’t we? πŸ˜… LIKE WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHY IS SHE ON HIS BED? THAT’S NASTY WITH A CAPITAL NASTY. I swear, my mind was like, if he dares get in that bed with her and does something vile, I was going to go LIVID. This was not that type of book, I swear, I couldn’t. And thank goodness, Anderson had some morality left in that bleached brain of his because my gosh, I swear!!!!

If you didn’t read my Defy Me blog post, this won’t be as funny, and you should read that blog post, which I’ll link below! But if you did, then you can laugh with me πŸ˜‚.

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS BECAUSE OF CREEPY SADISTIC PARENTS. BAD PARENTING!!!

I kid you not, everything in this universe, and other book universes could have been avoided if there was no BAD PARENTING. It’s HILARIOUS as it is irritating because what do we gotta do in the book world for people to just be dang good parents!!! Like parenting is hard, but parents should love their kid(s) and treat them with the utmost love and kindness. I don’t get it.

“When I was younger, my mother used to force bleach down my throat.” 

(pg. 336)

When Anderson was talking to Juliette, you know, he just CASUALLY says his mother forced BLEACH down his throat πŸ˜…. For no reason. NONE. Except she hated him. So she forced BLEACH down his throat?????!?

Who the heck does that?

Ugh, people are infuriating.

And then Anderson was like:

“‘You might say that I lost my appetite.'”

(pg. 336)

Oh, honey, you lost your freaking mind! πŸ€ͺ

That bleach made him go insane in the membrane! πŸ˜‚

And it just made me understand him a lllllllllllloooooooottttttttt more. Poor boy was hated by his parents and got fed bleach! Someone tell me the backstory of Anderson’s parents because gosh knows I just want to have a thorough talk with them and why they had the AUDACITY to feed the son bleach. Wasn’t Delileu or some guy like that—-you know the guy who used to be Anderson’s right hand man—–his dad? Or was that the father in law? Anyway, if that was the dad, why didn’t the dad stop the mom from feeding the son bleach? Why didn’t Anderson call Child Protective Services? Wouldn’t he have passed away from that much bleach?

Freak, I’m soooooooo UPSET over BlEACH.

No wonder Andersons’ FREAKING BONKERS! No wonder he hated his son and made him FREAKING RUTHLESS because it’s this cycle of violence! Anderson wasn’t raised right, so he showed Warner no mercy and if Warner really didn’t have anyone in his life who was good, he would have turned out as angry, heartless, cold, and bleachful like his darn CRAZY DAD and then he would go off and marry someone else and then feed them bleach and then it’s going to be like eating TIDE PODs all over again.

I’m GOING INSANE πŸ€ͺ.

I thought I’d never say this, but there was a part of me that felt a bit bad for Anderson. He’s just a bleach-filled kid. He has a bleach-hole in his heart πŸ˜‚.

There was this conversation that Kenji and Castle had about giving second chances and how if Anderson walked through the Sanctuary doors, would they give him a second chance given all he did. And Kenji wouldn’t, but Castle built Omega Point around giving people a chance to redeem themselves, so Castle, bless his heart, said he would give Anderson another chance. After hearing about the bleach, past me wouldn’t have said this, but I do think Anderson has some good in him. WAAAAY DEEEEP DOWN. There’s someone good in there and that if he had supportive, loving people in his life who showed him a better path, he could have turned out good. Like Loki. Maybe he could have been a baker like his crazy sadistic dream was. I mean, a baker. Anderson wanted to be a baker? Where did that come from? πŸ˜‚ I kid you not, when I was still skeptical of Anderson taking advantage of Juliette, and he said he liked cake, I was lost it. He liked cake πŸ˜‚. Did he know?

I digress.

Moving on from his crazy, let’s talk about Kenji and Warner.

Kenji and Warner have such a unique friendship where they are both more alike than they know and they really do love each other even if they don’t say it.

When they lost Juliette to Anderson, Warner really retreated into himself even more. Everyone praised Warner for saving them, but they also didn’t want to talk to him still because of the anger that exuded off his chiseled body. But everyone told Kenji to talk to him because they knew Kenji and him were close and that he was the only one who could get Warner to see reason.

And as much as Kenji jokes around and Warner says he doesn’t like it, I think he does. He tolerates the jokes, and even likes them, because Kenji’s the only person who can talk to him like that and tell him what he doesn’t want to hear but needs to hear.

“Come on, bro. You want J to come home to skin and bones/ The way you’re going, she’ll take one look at you and run screaming in the opposite direction. This is not a food look. All these muscles need to eat.’ I spoke at his bicep. “Feed your children.”

(pg 233)

Taunt him with looking good πŸ˜…. But Warner goes because he knows Kenji’s right and every part of him is also tired.

I really liked the conversation they had.:

“In the early days after Castle took me in, my guard was up so high I couldn’t even see over the top of it. I trusted no one. I believed nothing. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I let anger rock me to sleep at night because being angry was far less scary than having faith in people—-or in the future.

I kept waiting for things to fall apart.”

(pg. 255)

Kenji is known for hiding his darkness with humor, but he also has his serious moments. He understood that Warner was in pain and it felt like nothing was going right for him, so that’s why he was angry. Angry at the world and at everyone because he lost hope that he could have better.

“It’s easy, during those moments, to throw in the towel. To shrug off humanity. To tell yourself that you tried to be happy, and look what happened: more pain. Worse pain. Betrayed by the world. You realize that anger is safer than kindness, that isolation is safer than community. You shut everything out. Everyone. But some days, no matter what you do, the pain gets so bad you’d bury yourself alive just to make it stop.

I would know. I’ve been there.”

(pg 257)

And I have been there.

I think we’ve all been there. We all had those moments where we wanted to give up or where we lost hope in ourselves, the world, our others. We succumb to the pain with sadness or anger and retreat into ourselves because you are your own solace at the end of the day—the one to bear the pain. So we bury it in ourselves, but when we do that, sometimes we miss how it buries us alive to all the anger and hurt that we feel. It makes us numb. It makes us dead inside. Because we feel like we’re so alone.

But we’re not.

You’re not.

And if you’re reading this and you feel like this or ever felt like this, know you’re not alone and that someone always loves you and will be there for you. May you find it in your heart and strength to open up to them on your time. Don’t hold it in. Don’t bury yourself.

Kenji was Warner’s hand in the darkness to save himself from burying himself. And that’s why they work so well together. They will always save each other from going too deep.

What was random about after this moment was how this weird girl, Amelia, came to them with a plate of scorpions, intending to kill Warner. She was just random and I didn’t really get her place in the book, but she did help speed things along with Warner, Kenji, and Nazeera going to rescue Juliette.

While we’re on this topic, Castle and Kenji have always been like a father-son type of relationship. But things have been off between them because Castle had been keeping secrets from him for years, so that made Kenji distrustful of him and I get it. It’s such a tense, awkward relationship and even Warner can feel it. Kenji’s stressed more, jokes more, and swears more. One of the things the books didn’t resolve well for me was this relationship because we never have a conversation to fix what’s broken between them. I would have liked that because they were there for each other during everything.

I also need to give all my love to James. Because the boy experienced more than a ten-year-old ever should. It really sucked that he was in the middle of everything. I just want to hug him. And my gosh, Adam was D-U-M-B DUMB. He was dumb and desperate because he thought he could trade himself to Anderson in exchange for protection for James. I understand where James was coming from because he was just trying to protect his brother and rightfully so. However, he should have known better that his dad wasn’t actually going to keep his promise. I’m thankful Anderson had some morality to not harm James, but did he really have to drag the boy to the place and threaten his life?

I was soooooo glad that Nazeera dropped out of the sky and jumped Anderson’s back and they got James back. But the poor boy’s been through so much! 😒

The most heart-warming moment of this book beside Juliette and Warner later on, was James and Kenji reuniting. The utter joy that passed over James’s face, squeezed my heart. He literally jumped out of the bed, wires and all, to hug Kenji, and Warner and Kenji had to push him back down πŸ˜‚. But it was cute because Kenji’s like his second brother. Oh, wait his third brother πŸ˜…. I wrote in my Defy Me book review, that we had to tell James that Adam and Warner were his brothers. It was kind of not the way I was expecting James to find out because apparently when he woke up, he already knew he was Warner’s brother. So it wasn’t this big heart-felt moment that I thought it would be. It would have also been nice to have Adam there to share the moment with him—to have all the brothers maybe hug it out. Kind of sad. But at least James knew. We never really see James after this because he’s just told to stay at the center, chill, and “eat chocolate,” which by all means the darn kid deserves, still I would have liked to have seen him reunite with Adam or something.

So before leaving to rescue Juliette, Warner had to do one thing: take a shower.

I really should not have laughed as much as I did. I really shouldn’t have.

Honestly, this book was filled with the most banal things like peeing, bathrooms, and showering. It was just highly comical πŸ˜‚.

I loved how Nouria, Sam, Nazeera, Kenji, and Castle were all talking about Warner getting in the shower and how Sam and Nouria could see and sense Warner getting into the shower.

“‘So you’re just, like, watching a naked Warner in the shower right now?’

“I’m not looking at his body,” Sam says, sounding very close to irritated.

“But you could,” I say, stunned. ‘That’s so weird about this. You could just watch any of us take extremely naked showers.”

(pg. 299)

If I were Kenji, I would be worried.

“I can guarantee that I will never forget that Warner is not a fun guy to spend time with. That dude carries so much tension in his body it’s practically contagious. So yeah, I’m giving him space.

So far, I’ve given him seven hours worth of space.

I steal another glance at him, wondering how he holds himself so still—so stiff—for seven hours straight. How does he not pull a muscle? Why does he never have to use the bathroom? Where does it all go?

The only concession we got from Warner was that he showed up looking more like his normal self. Same was right: Warner took a shower. You’d think he was going on a date, not a murder/rescue mission. It’s obvious he wants to make an impression.”

(pg. 316-17)

I could NOT with Kenji πŸ˜‚.

I don’t know if it’s quarantine and I’m going crazy, but this was just soooo observant and funny.

I have never related to Kenji more when he said:

“. . .I’m so bored, I’ve begun poking myself in the eyes just to pass the time.”

(pg. 315)

Wouldn’t that hurt his eyes? I don’t understand how one can just poke his/her eyes for fun. I hope I never reach this level of boredom πŸ˜‚.

But it was cute how they were talking again. I honestly loved how two of the people who loved Juliette the most were the ones to rescue her. It was fitting. And Warner and Kenji make such a great team. I mean, one has the lethalness of a machine and the other has the bladder of a squirrel.

How lucky was Kenji in the fact that they found a bathroom he could pee in and that there was a vent for Warner and him to crawl through without being detected by the thermal monitors. That was highly smart of the facility to have because they knew people could become invisible. And can we just take a moment to appreciate how Kenji made a show of washing his hands so Warner wouldn’t be grossed out.

“Do you really expect me to believe that you never have to use the bathroom? Are basic human needs below you?”

(pg. 367)

I LOVE KENJI πŸ˜‚

What really gripped my heart was when Warner had to fight Juliette. I knew the moment she became soldier Juliette, that she would have to fight him in the end because that would be his hardest battle to go through. But like with Anderson, he didn’t fight her.

“This is different. It’s clear that he’s not enjoying this. He’s not trying to enrage her, and he’s not trying to defend himself. He’s fighting her for her. To protect her.”

(pg 390)

IT HURT MY HEART! Because Warner didn’t want to hurt her and it pained him to fight against her, which kind of went against what he did in the beginning of the series and how he could easily fight her. But they’ve both come so far.

But I just want to fully have a good look at Warner, because everyone, EVERYONE says how beautiful he is. It always makes me wonder, how gosh darn beautiful is he? My gosh! Where is he in my life?

That beauty saved him πŸ˜‚.

Juliette knew him, and the fact that she didn’t really know him made my heart hurt, but then when he kissed her, it was like the Sleeping Beauty moment, or should I say Sleeping Juliette moment because that honey girl was waking up! And then Warner was like “Come back to me, love. Come back.” And he had to throw the word love in there like my heart wasn’t hurting enough. Whenever Warner says the word love, I’m a puddle. A literal puddle. It’s soooo cute.

But then it got steamy real fast with them making out and taking off their clothes and how she ripped off his shirt. I mean, sis, knew what she wanted! πŸ˜‚ There’s something controlling her mind, but not her lustful instincts, am I right?

And then Warner was like:

“‘You know my name.'”

(pg. 406)

Oh, I bet she does πŸ˜‰.

The more she kisses him, the more she remembers and then she’s screaming it out of her.

I would just like to say, people have said that this book is Juliette just screaming. I mean, if you lived through the things she did, you would SCREAM. I feel like this whole book is Tahereh Mafi screaming her anger, anguish, her joy. It’s the readers screaming in the rollercoaster we’ve all read through.

This series should be called SCEA-ME-ING because that is how I felt throughout everything πŸ˜‚

She screams out this “parasite” thing inside her, but really her skin split open from the screaming and there was this blue light rod in her arm. I’m still curious as to how or why they decided to turn her into Soldier Juliette—the reverse of the plan—-first. And how that blue rod actually controlled her. How did her screaming really open up her skin? Is that part of her power?

“He pulls my bleeding body into his arms and I break, I break apart, sobs cracking open my eyes. I cry until the pain spirals and peaks, I cry until my head throbs and my eyes swell. I cry, pressing my face against his neck, my fingers riffing into his back, desperate for purchase, proof.”

(pg. 410)

The way Tahereh wrote Juliette breaking and freeing herself was utterly stunning. Utterly.

But I would just like to say, Warner literally got Juliette back through seduction πŸ€ͺ.

With Juliette, back they had one more thing to do: get to Emmaline. When there, Max, her crazy psycho dad tried to make everything hard for her, which I mean, please Max just get out of the way. You’re going to hurt yourself πŸ€ͺ. You are going down! I didn’t think Emmaline would be the one to kill Max and I didn’t think she had the power still within her to do so, but it seemed fitting that she was able to. It also seemed kind of too easy and simple. When Emmaline’s tank breaks, he dies? He goes “comically still, stunned” (pg. 425), which just seemed fairly easy. He should have at least put up more of a fight.

I also would just like to know what Emmaline really looks like and if she looks like the Chocolate spine-thing from that Spongebob episode or if she is a blob or has an actual body because I really don’t know how she can do what she does in her state. It also just makes me curious, again, as to why Emmaline caused Juliette pain in the beginning? Everything really escalated and shifted kind of fast from Emmaline giving her memories to Juliette being kidnapped that I feel like it wasn’t explained why Juliette was having things done to her. The whole book felt like Juliette had no volition except the end when she reclaimed her life back for her.

And I felt like the whole Emmaline thing was sweet and how she promised to burn the place up. It was sweet how they said goodbye and how Juliette held her sister, but my heart was sooooo pained. Emmaline deserved the world and more. Well, a real world where she could have had a life with her sister and grew up healthy and happy. But again, it was HER CRAZY SADISTIC PARENTS. They took everything away from her.

So you know Juliette had to scream the building down for her and it burned. Then she carried her sister home. I like that she brought peace to her sister, but I would like to know what is home for Juliette? Like where did she bury her sister? What happened to Emmaline? We never know.

While all this was going on, Kenji fought off the bad guys and got the Supreme Kids back. He also found Nazeera who was supposed to be inputting data for them to find Juliette faster, which didn’t really seem to help because Juliette found them in no time. So her part of the plan seemed defeated.

They found the Supreme Kids and watched the building go down.

I loved loved loved how we got a wedding scene with Warner and Juliette picking out their outfits and Kenji’s there. I mean, all book series needs to end in a wedding or something because literally that’s all anyone wants to see, am I right? πŸ˜†

But the world afterwards praisedJuliette as the savior and she was paparazzi-fanclub-famous, which was kind of strange. I think they were back in Sector 45, but I’m not sure.

It was a full circle moment though, when Juliette held the dog. As someone who’s touch was lethal, her holding something meant the world again. And I forgot about that—-her touch being lethal because throughout the book, she wasn’t really touching people I guess. But it reminded me of who she was and how far she’s come. My memories splotchy, but I think she can touch people now because she controlled her power? I’m not sure. I need a refresher. But it also made me smile because I remember when she first saw Warner, he kicked a dog? I think πŸ˜…. And then the next time she saw him with a dog, he fed it and she realized that there was more to him. So it warmed my heart that here she was now, holding a dog and Warner was laughing near here, happy.

And that’s all I ever wanted for both of them—to be married and be happy. Because Warner deserved that. I also liked how he was the only one who got to call her Ella because it was more intimate and paid homage to her real name. But the world knew her as the warrior she was, Juliette. That was sweet because I think we all got confused of what to call her. I still call her Juliette because that seems right because that’s who I see her as.

As much as the ending was sweet, there’s a lot of gray area, I still feel like a lot of things were left unresolved and tied up too quickly.

I would like to know what happened to Adam. Because when Juliette saw him in Oceania, he was all pale and wired up. It was concerning. And then all of a sudden we see him again, and he’s happy-go-lucky, which I mean, I get it because dude was messed up and now he’s grateful just to be alive. But his character was pushed to the side, kind of like Aspen from The Selection and Chaol from Throne of Glass. I mean, I am not a fan of Adam, but I would have liked to know how he reunited with James and how Warner and him were. Did they have a better relationship? I don’t know.

Speaking of their messed up family. I was really holding out hope that Anderson would come back. He would go to Castle and the gang and ask for a second chance like Castle talked about. That to me, would have given Anderson a proper ending because then it would show that he was redeemable and maybe wanted to be better. Or be a baker at least. But we never hear about Anderson after he gets stabbed yet again, which he’ll probably heal from. But where is he? Speaking of him, is he the one who has Adam’s powers? Like who has Adam’s powers and where did it go? Because Adam traded it. Max said that it’s not natural for people to have more than one power. So will that destroy Anderson? How does that work?

I also want to know what happens to Castle, Winston, Brendan, Sonya, and Sarah. Do they start a new Omega Point? Castle’s with Nouria and Sam there, but do they start anew where Juliette is or does he stay with them? Do all of them stay with them? I liked that at least Winston and Brendan finally got together. Where are Juliette, Kenji, and Warner at the end of the book?

Also, I would have liked a better resolution with Kenji and Castle because they didn’t work through their differences. Are they always going to be hesitant of each other? I don’t know.

What really happened to the Supreme Kids? Why were they in tanks? What was that about? What happened to them? What happened to Kenji and Nazeera? Are they together?

And what becomes of the Reestablishment? How are they going to rebuild it? Who’s the leader? Is there no leader? What is the world like? Because Juliette tried to rule once, and that didn’t bode too well, so how will this world heal?

I really don’t know. And I like when books have open-ended endings, but there’s a lot here that it seems wide open.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this book. It brought me more smiles to my face than not and it had so much action that I could not put it down. Literally read it in two days because I was so invested in their lives. I always have and always will be. I hope that whatever happens Juliette, Warner, Kenji, and all of them find a better, peaceful world. Find happiness.

And gosh gracious, I hope Tahereh doesn’t run them through the meat grinder again πŸ˜‚. They’re younger than 18!

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? Were you satisfied with the ending? What would you have made the ending? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all πŸ’•

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this.

And as always, with love,

Pastel New Sig

Rating

4.68 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: This book didn’t really highlight Juliette with a lot of volition on her part, but I liked how we got to understand some characters a bit more and why they are the way they are. I would have liked to seen more resolution with some characters also, Overall, am going to miss them all, especially Kenji with his humor.

Plot: Things were kind of confusing at some points and the ending leaves you with more questions than not. But I enjoyed how it ended happy because that’s what they deserved.

Writing: STUNNING

Romance: Warner and Juliette’s love is strong, chaotic, and messy in a beautiful way

Action: A lean, clean, honed, Warner-machine πŸ˜‚

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