Favorite Moments of 2018

Dear 2018,

So many things have happened this year that it’s crazy to think now it’s all over. It really flew by way too fast! Like when it was summer, I kept thinking about how it was already halfway through the year and how Christmas would come next. And life just goes by so quickly that it’s nice to just stop and think of all that happened—–the good and the bad.

So if you’re reading this in the future or the present, this is what happened in 2018 for me. What about you? What’s your favorite moment of 2018? What moment wasn’t so great, but allowed you to learn something?

Graduating High School

I wanted to start with this one because this was the biggest accomplishment of the year. Ever since we’re little boys and girls, I feel like it’s instilled in us that our dream should be to graduate high school—to one day walk across a stage and get our diplomas. So it’s always been my dream to graduate high school and finally, finally, be done with school. That is until I went to college. But after so many years of stressing, working, writing, reading, calculating, crying, and soooo many tests, all the work was over and I finally walked down that stage.

It was the most freeing feeling I felt in a while—–to feel like all the weight and all the work I did paid off. I don’t mean to brag or sound obnoxious about this next part, but it’s just something I’m proud of because I never thought I would ever become it. I was a part of the top 10 valedictorians in my class. There was about 20 valedictorians, but I was among the top 10. And to me, that meant a lot! I grew up in a family where my brother and sister were valedictorians, so I felt this kind of want to be one too. I wouldn’t say I felt pressured to be valedictorian because I figured if it happened, it happened, or if it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen and that’s not the end of the world because I was still graduating. I felt like being valedictorian was something I wanted to do to myself to prove to me that I could be the best that I could be. Maybe I’ll go more in depth about this in another post, but for now that’s all I’ll say.

But that day was truly magical. I was there with all my classmates who I’ve known for years. And I just kept thinking that this was the last time we would collectively sit together and be together as a class, and that made me sad. We were such a big family and it’s never easy to say bye to people who you love.

Graduation was sappy, but ultimately it was joyous. It was the beginning of a new life.

Finishing my First Draft

In the past, I’ve always tried to write a book. I would always sit down in front of my computer and type. And then I would give up because I would cringe at all the things I wrote and I would feel like it was so horrible that I needed to edit it right away. But I never did edit what I wrote right away. Instead I would give up because I felt like what I wrote was so bad that it was beyond salvaging. And I bet there had to be some good writing amongst what I wrote in the past. But I just couldn’t live with myself continuing to write something that I knew wasn’t good. And for so long that tick of mine stopped me from writing a book and seeing it through.

But this summer, I buckled down and I told myself to write no matter how badly I wanted to edit all the words I know I would hate later. And through May to August, I wrote about 2,000 words each night and by August 7, I finished my first draft of my first ever book. I finished my book with 316 pages, 131,975 words, and I remembered I danced in joy that day and just sighed a huge breath. I finished my first draft of my book.

Four Year Reunion

This wasn’t that big of a moment, but to me it was such a favorite moment. So many good friends of mine have moved away in middle school and in the beginning of high school. I remember feeling saddened when they left my life and I would spend days missing them. But as time went on, things got better, but after nearly four years of being apart, we were all reunited again.

Over summer, we all went to the beach and we just hung out, swam, listened to music, and ate. And it was such a relaxing day to hang out with familiar faces. It felt weird seeing all the people who moved away grown up with different hair styles or tattoos, but it was nice too. I will admit it did feel awkward at first trying to talk to them because there was so many things that were different and we were all different people than who were were in the past, but I liked getting to catch up with them and hearing about their lives. Some of them had fun relationship advice and stories to tell and when they left, we told each other we would have another reunion in four years. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. But I’ll always love seeing them after all this time.

Starting College

This year was filled with so many new beginnings and endings. When the door to high school closed, the door to college opened. And I wouldn’t say it was the funest door I walked through, but it has been an experience. I think college has been so different and difficult in its own ways that right now in time, it’s not the best. Most classes are not interesting and some teachers are boring. Dorms are not the cleanliest place to stay after a while.

But college has also been rewarding and fun with meeting new people and having good classes and one good teacher who was soooo sweet. I think that freshman year will always be the hardest, so I hope as time goes on, maybe college will get better.

Growing Through Life

As a senior in high school, we had to do a senior project. I chose to do the hardest thing I could possibly do to myself—besides STEM—-because I guess I felt like it was my last year so I wanted to go big or go home. I was crazy! I worked on my senior project over a span of 6 months and finished it in April by hanging it up in my schools academy (our school had different academy’s for profession interest like business academy, fine arts, human services, etc.). I made a mosaic tree mural that spanned a huge wall.

I started my senior project fall of 2017 because I knew my project was going to take so much time. I remember my dad took me to Costco and we would just scrounge for cardboard! I felt so embarrassed when we would ask the workers for flat cardboard sheets and when we would walk out the door with six or so big brown cardboard rectangles clipped together. We got some seriously weird looks, but that’s okay because we created something amazing. I couldn’t have done this project without my dad who cut the cardboard pieces and helped me tape it to the wall for an hour.

But most of the mural was made by me. I spent months painting CDs different shades of brown and gold and then cutting them. I had to do multiple shades of paint on the CDs and had to let them dry for hours. And while they dried I would watch Netflix shows. And let me tell you cutting CDs is an arm workout! It hurts the fingers and sometimes the CD film would fly off or pieces would scatter everywhere. It was an arduous process that I grew tired of after a while because there’s only so many brown CDs a girl can paint and cut and paint and cut before it becomes tedious. If I paint another CD, it’d be too soon.

But the most boring part of the project was laying the background paper on the cut cardboard pieces and I swear inhaling as much Mod Podge as I did was not healthy for me. But I used so much Mod Podge to glue the paper, to paste the CD cut outs, and to do the different designs. My original idea was for the whole tree to be made out of cut CDs, but there’s only so much time and CDs I could work through, so I alternated between pieces with cut mosaic CDs. I also alternated between panel pieces—one with mosaic CDs and the next being some creative aspect.

The whole essence of the tree was supposed to embody the growth of everyone in high school and my academy—Human Services. I felt like it did just that. And I incorporated art pieces from my elementary students and leaves from different students to represent their personal growth journey on the growth of life. Suffice to say, I was proud of what I accomplished. It might not be no STEM, but it sure does have some ;).

Little Oinkies

If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about ; ). In our academy we do a market day and I worked amongst five of the most fierce, passionate, kind hearted, and hard working girls I could work with. I love all of them and miss all the fun times and memories we shared together. Working with the girls in my academy was the best part of my senior year because these ladies made me feel like I was heard and that I didn’t have to do things alone.

We set up our booth together and made our t-shirts and our food together. We were one hard working team, if I do say so myself. And that market day was such a fun day away from the stress of doing regular school things and it was nice to just be with people in my academy. Academy was really a big family <3.

By the end of the day, we sold out all our chips and our pigs in a blanket with the help of another fierce special helper. He really shoved our food in other peoples faces until they took it. But hey, it helped.

Internship

This year was also hard to let go to the internship experiences I had with two amazing teachers who inspire me. One of my goals is to one day become a teacher and inspire kids to be the best they can be academically, socially, and personally. I want to help kids find a passion in life and to strive for it as my teachers have done for me. So getting to shadow two teachers this year, one of which who asked me to return from last year, was such an honor.

I feel like these teachers I have interned with, were more like friends rather than mentors at time. I love the generosity and maturity in which both teachers treated me. From them I have gained so much insight as to how the elementary classroom environment is nowadays with so much technology. I can’t believe that students have their own tablets and laptops nowadays! When I went to school we had to share reading books and use almanacs.

But what warms my heart on the days I feel like school is so stressful and not worth it, are the notes and letters I received from the kids I worked with. Wherever they go in life, I hope they know they have a supporter in me as they have supported me <3.

Knowing When to Let Go

I won’t get into this one that much here, but in a different post. But this year was challenging for me in different parts of my life. I tried to hold onto to something that meant a lot to me but never made me feel like I mattered or was appreciated. Sure, there were bad times, but there were good times too. And I would remember all the good times and felt like I should keep holding on, but the bad times really just stuck with me.

So the moment I chose to let go, I felt peace. I felt like things were going to be hard because I would always care for them and maybe we would find some way back to each other again, but for right now I needed to figure out things for myself and surround myself with people who cared for me and made me feel that way.

Letting go to something/someone that mattered to you is the hardest thing to do because sometimes you find yourself resorting back to them, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

I’ll Always Love You Grandma

I never had to say goodbye to someone who meant a lot to me. I never lost someone close before. But this year, in October, out of the blue, my grandma passed away. I was dealing with school and I was dealing with loss and I just felt disheartened and sad. I think the last time I saw and talked to my grandma was before I went to school in August. I wasn’t even there for her birthday. And now I will never get to talk to her, hug her, laugh with her, see her, or eat her food.

This wasn’t the best part of the year, but it’s something that I will always remember like I’ll always remember what my grandma meant to me.

Blogger

Of course, this had to be mentioned. This is so different for me to write on a platform that anyone and everyone or no one could/would read. But I wanted to be more honest with myself and with others and share my love of books with people. Maybe you’ll learn something from reading my posts or maybe you’ll relate to something said. Whatever you take away, I hope you take it away with a smile and always with a positive outlook.

As for next year, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I think I just want to continue living each day the best that I can in finding happiness with good friends, family, and moments. I hope to keep up a healthy lifestyle, mentally, physically, and emotionally, as well as try my best in school. I know things will be tough next year—as can be expected with life—but I hope that whatever happens, I am able to pick myself back up and get through it stronger than ever. Some things happen in your life for a reason and sometimes they teach you things such as gratitude, love, appreciation, loss, heartache, self-love, and all those good things. And I know that as long as I have people here with me to help me through that, everything will be okay.

I wish you nothing but happiness and love and peace in the new year and here’s to making more memories.

As always, with love,