Roomies by Christina Lauren Book Review
“She sees herself as a supporting character even in her own life story.”
(pg. 171)
About
Author: Christina Lauren
Genre: New Adult Contemporary
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Synopsis
Marriages of convenience are so…inconvenient.
For months Holland Bakker has invented excuses to descend into the subway station near her apartment, drawn to the captivating music performed by her street musician crush. Lacking the nerve to actually talk to the gorgeous stranger, fate steps in one night in the form of a drunken attacker. Calvin Mcloughlin rescues her, but quickly disappears when the police start asking questions.
Using the only resource she has to pay the brilliant musician back, Holland gets Calvin an audition with her uncle, Broadway’s hottest musical director. When the tryout goes better than even Holland could have imagined, Calvin is set for a great entry into Broadway—until his reason for disappearing earlier becomes clear: he’s in the country illegally, his student visa having expired years ago.
Seeing that her uncle needs Calvin as much as Calvin needs him, a wild idea takes hold of her. Impulsively, she marries the Irishman, her infatuation a secret only to him. As their relationship evolves and Calvin becomes the darling of Broadway—in the middle of the theatrics and the acting-not-acting—will Holland and Calvin to realize that they both stopped pretending a long time ago?
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To the roommates,
There is nothing more better than a story that makes you uncomfortable laugh out loud in the best way. Honestly, if you need a cure for sadness, this is the medicine you need.
Such an overall fun story that I felt was kind of awkward at first, but then as the story progressed, I had a deeper appreciation of Holland.
Holland is a low key Joe Goldberg without all the killing 😂.
She had a six month crush on this guy she called Jack—who’s name wasn’t really Jack—-and she always went out of her way to go see Jack playing his guitar at the subway. She knew his schedule and everything and never had the guts to talk to him until she was drunk. I felt like it was weird how Jack—-who’s real name is Calvin—never noticed her at all whenever she came to see him play. I get Calvin was probably absorbed in his music, but how could he have not recognized the same woman coming to see him? I know that whenever I work somewhere and I see a customer come often, I recognize the face even if I don’t really know the person. It also makes me wonder how Holland would watch him. Was she pulling a Joe in standing behind a pillar or something? Maybe an inconspicuous baseball cap? 😂
I don’t blame Holland for her crush though because I feel like we’ve all been there. It’s not my proudest confession but I know that I’ve gone out of my way to do something to get a boy to notice me or that I’ve also memorized a guy’s schedule so I would know where to be. That makes me a creep in the name of love. But, hey, this is a judgement free zone 🤪.
The whole fake relationship between Calvin and Holland struck me as completely odd because Holland like liked him and Calvin didn’t even know the extent of that. All he knew was that Holland liked his music and she helped him land the best broadway gig of his life. He also got the better end of the deal in fake marrying her so that he could stay in the states and also live out his dream. For Holland, this fake marriage was anything but—-her feelings were all too weird. It had to suck for Holland for the relationship to feel one sided in that way. I also felt the admiration from Holland was also more of an infatuation with Calvin rather than true love, so that’s why I wasn’t buying the whole love between them in the beginning.
The thing about Holland is that she’s also very insecure about who she is. Not in the sense that she doesn’t think she’s beautiful, but she’s insecure in her worth because she always feels like she owes others things or that she’s not good enough. She grew up with her uncles, Robert and Jeff who now pay the majority of her rent and who also provided her a job when she didn’t have one. Because her uncles have done so much for her, she wanted to do this one thing for them and if that meant getting fake married to the guy of her dreams, then no harm no foul. I just think it was a bit awkward on Calvin’s part because he didn’t know. I also think she might have created this idealized version of Calvin in her head that she liked and that’s why she fell for him in this fake marriage, so that’s why I questioned if she really loved him or just the idea of him.
Another thing about Holland is the whole career aspect. She has an MFA in writing, which I have no idea what that means, but it sounds prestigious, and yet she was an antiques historian and a photographer for her uncle’s Broadway play. She could have been putting her degree to use. But I can’t also blame her for her fears with writing. It’s a fear that I know all too well.
Maybe it’s a writer’s thing or a Holland and me thing, but we’re both the type of people who are scared to write because we’re scared of failing or not being good enough with our words. So we put off writing because if we don’t do it, then there’s no failure. But I think that’s more of a failure on our part that we don’t even try. I think that fear stems from the idea that there are so many amazing, distinctive writers out there and we’re both sacred that we’re going to be nothing like those writers or that our work will never see the light of day. So I understand Holland on a deeper level. Her fear of writing has led her to putting other people above herself and I think she really doesn’t know who she is unless she’s living for others. She constantly gets bossed around by Brian and she puts up with it because, I don’t know, he’s her boss. But it’s not like Brian can fire her. Doesn’t Robert own the theater or something or is it just the production? I’m not sure. I also think Holland feels like she isn’t as important to everyone else. Robert is a big name composer, Jeff is another accomplished person, Lulu has her own grand life, and Calvin has his broadway career going for him. What does Holland have? A broken arm, an apartment that her uncles pay for, and a few pictures from the antiques room?
She feels insignificant and it goes back to that quote in the benign of how Jeff told her that Holland sees herself as a supporting character in her own life story. It’s because in a way she puts others above her because she feels inferior to them. I think when people do that too, they also tend to search for love to place their feelings there when love isn’t going to fix the love she needed for herself.
But Holland didn’t see the marriage as scary in the beginning because she got the man. I was also kind of surprised at how easily Calvin was swayed to marry her. In some ways, I would say his acquiescence to marrying her as kind of a complete stranger was too fast. I mean, he was getting a lot from this set up: 1) green card 2) broadway career 3) a woman. That’s like every man’s dream 😆.
The whole fake marriage between them was sketchy as it was hilarious because I thought they wouldn’t be able to pull it off. From the minute they walked into the office to officially get married, I kept thinking about the Proposal with Sandra Bullocks and Ryan Reynolds and how in the movie they needed to do this whole interview thing to authenticize their marriage. I kept screaming at the book, where’s their interview?! There’s no way Calvin’s just going to be able to stay in the states like that. Also, this book HIGHLY reminded me of The Proposal in some ways. I loved that movie💙.
One thing I never understood completely was why they needed to move in together. Couldn’t they just have been fake married with all the fake documents and everything and he still lived at his old apartment? Like why did he need to physically be where she is to make the marriage seem real? Fake marry a guy? Sure. Move in with him after not really knowing him? S-K-E-T-C-H-Y. For all she knew, Calvin could have genuinely been like a Joe Goldberg 😂
When they moved in together, that’s when all the laughter started.
The moment when Holland told Calvin he could answer the phone that was vibrating had me in hysterics. Calvin’s phone wasn’t vibrating, but it was her vibrator that she left in the couch cushions. Holland cleaned her whole house, but she should have really cleaned her couch! Then the next day they had this whole beyond awkward conversation about why the vibrator was pink and her understanding of her femininity 😂. You can’t say Calvin wasn’t straightforward or that Holland was a woman who didn’t know what she wanted.
The birthday under the table surprise also had me rollin in laughter because what a BEYOND AWKWARD AND DUMB situation that was! Both her uncles were there and Holland had this whole elaborate plan to do something dirty under the table with Calvin for his birthday.
“I imagine she’d like the tension sausage,” Calvin says.
(pg. 291)
Tension sausage indeed 😂
.HOLLAND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!?
And who invited the uncles anyway?
UGH, it was soooooo funny!
They had a lot of laugh out loud moments, but they also had very intimate and sweet conversations. I liked when they stayed in their apartment the day after his debut and they quizzed each other on fun facts about their family. They really were getting to know each other and that helped bring them together. I also liked whenever Holland would listen to Calvin play the guitar because she looked at Calvin the way I look at books—with so much love and adoration. I could feel that through the pages. And everyone needs a Holland in their life; someone who believes in your talent that much. I really liked the idea that Holland was also Calvin’s good luck charm whenever he played because when she wasn’t there, he played badly because he couldn’t focus. When they started to understand each other more and to care about each other past the “fun” times, I really felt them falling for each other as more than a fake marriage.
“I’ve never done this before. I just know I’m falling for the girl I married.”
(pg. 280)
And that was what I was looking for with them—-real love. I could feel it.
But like a real marriage, they had hardships.
For one, they had to go back to do another interview because the story of how they met didn’t add up. Holland said she met Calvin a long time ago, but Calvin was there when she got pushed onto the train tracks, and at that time he would have been her boyfriend, so it made no sense why he wouldn’t have reported that situation. I really felt worried for them because faking a marriage is no light thing. It hurt too because they were really trying to be a real couple at this point. Turns out, Calvin could have got his green card by applying for a special cases sort of thing since he was a Broadway star now. While we’re talking about his stardom a bit, I really liked how the fame never got to Calvin. He was always so grateful to Holland in gifting him his dream and not for one second did he ever make her feel under appreciated or took her for granted. Even though their relationship was fake, I knew his gratitude was real. To me that also translated to love.
Second, there was Lulu the big mouth.
I quite don’t like Lulu. She’s like a backhanded friend. I really do think that Holland just kept Lulu around because they had all this history together and that Lulu was her only true friend, but if a friend treats you as badly as Lulu did to Holland, that’s not friendship. I actually really appreciated Christina Lauren including this friendship dynamic because not a lot of books have toxic friendships. Lulu just seemed jealous of Holland’s life so she would try to seem better than her or make Holland sound crazy, so that she would feel like she was the better one in the situation. But if Lulu were a true friend she would never belittle or purposefully embarrass her friend. True friends don’t do that. Sure, friends can embarrass each other, but Lulu was doing it strategically because she knew that others would see Holland as less.
I thought that Holland was going to drop Lulu’s butt after everything she did. But she always crawled back to her. The night when Lulu was drunk and spilled the beans about Holland stalking Calvin and loving him before then, was utterly RUDE. I don’t care HOW DRUNK she was, you just don’t say those kinds of things. Because I think Lulu knew what she was saying and she wanted to say it to hurt Holland because gosh darn, Holland;’ life was going well and Lulu’s life attested to getting drunk at a bar, having a boyfriend who’s not really her boyfriend, and no acting gig. If she was really Holland’s friend she wouldn’t have lashed out in that way. It ruined Calvin and Holland’s relationship, but at the same time I think Calvin was going to find out eventually. It should have been on Holland’s terms.
I could see why Calvin would be overwhelmed by what Lulu said because I would be too. But what he needed was a moment to himself to think things through before he responded because he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to respond when everything was still fresh. In the moment he overreacted a bit because what Holland did was creepy, but harmless, but we’ve all been creeps in love. I can’t judge her. I just think it felt slimy on his part for her to have always loved him even when it was fake and for him to only have started loving her when he got to know her. It felt ingenuine because he also questioned her motives as to why she faked married him in the first place.
I’m glad they worked through it, because they didn’t deserve to break up just because Holland’s jealous friend wanted to ruin the one good thing in her life.
Holland said in that scene that she was going to drop Lulu as a friend. But she never did. I would have. But then again, forgiveness is a good sentiment to have. Holland has a big heart to forgive Lulu when Lulu set up the whole birthday surprise. But still there’s something underlying in their friendship that’s going to hurt down the line.
Then there was the other woman. The first woman was this chick named Natalie that texted and called Calvin a lot in the beginning of the fake marriage. Holland was okay—-not really—–if he wanted to see other people during their fake marriage, but he was loyal to Holland and told her Natalie was nothing. Later on when Holland and Calvin take a break, Holland saw a picture of Calvin with his arm around a famous girl named Natalie. Holland went ballistic because she was jealous. It was right for her to be jealous, but she called it off with him, so if he was moving on at the time, it wasn’t his fault. But I could understand where she was coming from. Then there was the whole Amanda chick. Bridget, Calvin’s sister, and the mom, thought Holland was actually called Amanda. Amanda used to be Calvin’s girlfriend a long time ago, and they thought that Calvin got married to Amanda. This caused an obvious rift between Holland and Calvin because he lied about who she was to his parents. I could understand the hurt Holland felt because to her that felt like she wasn’t good enough for him to tell his parents about who she truly is. It was kind of like he was embarrassed. He was also asking her to pretend to be someone she wasn’t and that’s not fair to her because if this whole fake marriage thing wasn’t going to be fake anymore, she couldn’t go on being called Amanda for the rest of her days with them. In this situation, I think Calvin’s lying about who she was to his parents was a bit worse than her lying because at least Holland was staying true to who she was and it wasn’t like she was hiding anything from Calvin. Obviously, he knew she watched him play guitar, he just didn’t know the extent.
When they were separated for this time, you could feel the pain on all sides.
Holland was a mess. But Calvin was a wreck. He knew he screwed up.
It’s funny because just like a marriage, Calvin was the one always trying to apologize and makeup to Holland for the wrongs he did.
When they were working through the Amanda thing, Holland and him finally talked about it. At that moment Holland had this epiphany.
“My willingness to jump into a fake marriage seems depressing in hindsight. The fact that he lied to me feels terrible. The fact that—-over and over again—-I’m not sure whether or not I can trust his feelings to be genuine is gutting.
But the worst feeling is the deep confession inside me about why he would love me at all; I feel stale and tiresome. No matter what my uncles say, Calvin and I aren’t Robert and Jeff—-we didn’t start out with clear unequivocal declarations of love. I can’t be Jeff, working on the sidelines while Calvin takes off like a comet. I need to fill my life with accomplishments I create, not just witness.
“I love you,” I tell him earnestly . . . It’s the first time I’ve said it. In every book I’ve ever read where the protagonist does what I’m about to do, I hate it, I yell at the pages . . . but I get it now. “And part of me really does want to stay married and work through this, and have the unexpected perfect ending. But I’ve been really good at letting other people take care of me, and making my decision based on what other people need. I’ve been scared of figuring out my own things, or trying something and failing. And now I’m sitting here thinking, ‘I wouldn’t even be in love with me. How can I believe him when he says he is?”
(pg. 322-3)
This my friends, is my absolute favorite part of this book, hands down 👏🏼.
It’s the moment that Holland actively makes a decision to stop putting herself as the side character in her own life story, but the main hero. She puts herself first. And it takes such a mature person to be like, “I recognize I’m not in a good relationship with myself, and I need to focus on me because if I don’t love myself, how can others like me.” It goes back to that idea I talked about earlier on how I felt like Holland rushed into this fake marriage because she loves so deeply—-puts their needs and life first—-that she rushed into a relationship to fix or to focus her love on that person. That didn’t help her. She needed to fix the love for herself. Calvin taught here that. That’s why I believe in the saying that some people come into your life to teach you a lesson. He taught her that she could be loved and she could do whatever she set her mind to, but most importantly he taught her that she needed to heal before she could delve into another.
There’s so much strength and beauty in that moment that I couldn’t help but grin the whole time.
I also loved the way Calvin understood where she was coming from. Most men would have been like, “No, we can work this out,” and try to convince the girl that they’re better together and blah blah blah, but him knowing that she needed to focus on herself, really emphasized how I knew he loved her. If you love them, set them free, and if they love you, they’ll come back. Being someone who knew who he was and accomplished so many things for himself, he loved her enough to let her free. But I’m happy he said he would wait.
I loved the whole limbo period where Holland was doing things for herself. There’s just an amazing self-proclamation and love that comes with pouring the love you gave to others, back to where it needed to be. I loved that Holland would exercise with her runs at the park. It helped clear her mind and I know for me, exercising is something that I found love with too.I also liked how Holland took her life into her own hands as to work at a job that she didn’t love, but paid well. In that way, she didn’t have to depend so much on her uncles. But what I absolutely adored about this healing for her, was her writing again. It’s so hard for writers—-or for me—-to sit down and write after so long because there is that fear of it not being good enough or not getting back into the groove of it. But when Holland spent that time writing about Calvin, her uncles, and music, I can tell it was every bit as cathartic for her as it was easy. I find that when a person writes about something they’re passionate about or that they love, it flows like syrup on a chocolate chip pancake 💙. Her writing again was also such a big step in finally overcoming her fear of failing, because at least now she was giving it a shot.
I was so proud of her when she took the chance to send her piece to the New Yorker because she was literally like, “I have nothing to lose.” The worst they can say is no. I know how difficult it was for me to get up the courage to press send on my query letters. It’s nerve wracking because your work is sent into this void that will reach people who can change your entire life with one single world. The whole waiting period is gruesome and it’s like slowly plucking your eyelash hair by always tugging on it. It’s painful. But when Holland got the letter back that her piece would be on the New Yorker, my heart swelled with pride. She did that. By herself.
I was beyond proud of her. To me, this moment validated that she was a good writer and she deserved more. I hope it gives her the confidence to pursue more writing in the future. When Holland got that letter, every part of her wanted to tell Calvin and she reached out and asked to see him about it, which was cute. I also want to mention how sweet Calvin was to check on her after all this time with his texts. They were broken up, but he still cared about her wellbeing. I swear, a gentleman at heart.
The reactions from her uncles and her brother were also very sweet because they were beyond proud of her like I was. I loved Jeff’s reaction the most. They really are the best uncles. Speaking of Robert and Jeff, I really liked how Christina Lauren made them the parental figures in her life because uncles are highly underrated as good adult figures, so it felt like an ode to all the good uncles out there. I also thought it was nice that they included that there was no beef between Holland and her parents because it would seem weird as to why she lived and was practically raised by them. I feel like it would have to hurt in some ways for Holland to have not been loved that much by her parents, but her uncles really made up for that.
They were also planning on moving to LA because Robert got a new job offer. I thought it was beyond sweet how they talked to her about the situation because she’s every bit of family to them. Holland was more upset if they didn’t go and I liked that she reassured them she would be okay. She really does have a big heart 💙 I also liked how much they were there for her when she was going through this whole situation. Holland’s brother, Davis was also a piece of work.
I loved how authentic he sounded in how when Holland talked to him about her boy troubles he would eat chips, watch TV, and pretend to listen 😂. But when he knew it was serious, Davis listened. It was cute how he went to that award thing for Robert as Holland’s date. I couldn’t believe that Calvin was jealous of Davis because he thought Holland brought another man. Holland thought he would have brought the infamous Natalie.
This award’s was also the first time Holland was going to see him after their break. If I’m being honest, their break seemed kind of short—-like a month or so?—-and I would have liked to have had the break be longer. I get that a person can find themselves in a month, but I still think Holland could have used more time to grow and figure things out for herself fully.
But the moment when Holland and Calvin talk was the best too. Calvin explained how people photoshop and how he took a lot of pictures with everyone. He also told her Natalie was absolutely no one and that he didn’t even have this famous Natalie’s phone number in the beginning. But the thing that got me was how he still wore the ring.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Holland. I’ve got a wife, in case you’ve forgotten.”
. . . “Though she hasn’t texted, hasn’t rung me back, and hasn’t wanted to see me.”
(pg. 351)
GET YOU A MAN WHO’S FAITHFUL EVEN IF THE MARRIAGE ISN’T REAL. 👏🏼
In the words of Anna: IT’S TRUE LOVE!
He still loved her enough to wear that ring and when he said, “Can I kiss my bride?” swoons all around 🥺. What a perfect line.
Bottomline, marriage is hard—-fake or not 😂 In all honesty, I’m happy they were able to fall in love as intended because love works in mysterious ways. In actuality I think that they make a really good couple because they make each other happy, but also better people as to challenge themselves. They also saw the best in each other when that person was at their low. For Calvin, he didn’t have much and was at risk of being deported, but Holland saw something special in him and his music. For Holland, when she doubted herself, Calvin gave her back her strength. I also loved how they would go out of each other’s way to make each other feel special like in a true marriage. The moment Calvin saw his mom and sister after all those years, had me in tears. The moment Calvin showed her the ring on his finger as loyalty to her, priceless. Because marriage is complicated, but it’s beautiful. It’s filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, triumphs and failures. But it’s the best thing there is. It brings two people who are undeniably right for each other together and makes a unity that is stronger than any faults, tears, or hardships.
I do believe in that.
I do.
I feel like Roomies, though, isn’t that fitting of a title for this book🙈 Here are my ideas:
I Do
When It Was Real (but that’s another books title)
Anyway, what was your favorite part? Least favorite part? What alternative titles would you name this book? Would you fake marry someone? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this.
And as always, with love,
Rating
4.69 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Every person can find something in Holland that they relate to whether it be her love, her passion, or her humor. Calvin’s not too shabby either with his accent and guitar 😆
Plot: This is a book that you can’t fake a love for based on how sweet, hilarious, and charming it is.
Writing: Never fails to make me laugh or feel bubbly from the inside out
Romance: At first, I wasn’t buying the romance, but what really did it for me was the way I felt Holland and Calvin actually fall in love with each other. It meant so much more to feel that than just read it.