The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren Book Review
“Love is exhausting.”
About
Author: Chrisitna Lauren
Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance
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Synopsis
Olive Torres is used to being the unlucky twin: from inexplicable mishaps to a recent layoff, her life seems to be almost comically jinxed. By contrast, her sister Ami is an eternal champion . . . she even managed to finance her entire wedding by winning a slew of contests. Unfortunately for Olive, the only thing worse than constant bad luck is having to spend the wedding day with the best man (and her nemesis), Ethan Thomas.
Olive braces herself for wedding hell, determined to put on a brave face, but when the entire wedding party gets food poisoning, the only people who aren’t affected are Olive and Ethan. Suddenly there’s a free honeymoon up for grabs, and Olive will be damned if Ethan gets to enjoy paradise solo.
Agreeing to a temporary truce, the pair head for Maui. After all, ten days of bliss is worth having to assume the role of loving newlyweds, right? But the weird thing is . . . Olive doesn’t mind playing pretend. In fact, the more she pretends to be the luckiest woman alive, the more it feels like she might be.
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To all those Unhoneymooners,
This book gave me serious Just Go With It vibes.
I was here for it.
Such a cute, simple read and I love a hate-to-love relationship because it makes a romance even more interesting to see how two people who would tear each other’s throats out would actually come to like each other. Actually the reason I picked up this book was because Chrisitne Riccio of Polandbananasbooks on Youtube said she highly loved this book. And anything Christine loves, has to be good. But that also meant that going into this book, I had high expectations. Now, now, I’m not saying it wasn’t a good book, I just think it didn’t amaze me as much as Christine; It didn’t leave me giddy or speechless in love, but it did warm my heart. But I guess in a way I’ve learned I don’t like when books are overly hyped or I associate a book with hype because then I have these expectations and expectations are hard to meet afterwards.
But anyway, there was a lot to enjoy about it, starting with Olive.
Olive is someone who is highly unlucky. She’s the type of person where random, crazy things you would think would never happen to a person happens. If you listen to podcasts and you listen to Unsolicited Advice (highly recommend!), you would know what I’m talking about when I saw Olive kind of reminds me of Taryne Renee who also has odd things happen to her. Olive also has a very thick skin and not in the way that she’s curvier than other girls, but in the way she’s strong in who she is and she has a bark to her bite. Her sister, Ami, on the other hand is more like golden retriever to Olive’s pitbull. Ami is lucky, she gets things for free, she’s considered the prettier twin, and she’s getting married. I thought it was actually kind of cool how her wedding was under $1,000 or $5,000 given how luxurious it was. She even got free dresses. The dress that Olive had to wear was horrendous, but I guess that’s what you get when your sister gets free dresses for her wedding. I kept imagining the Lizzie McGuire green dress that she wore when she walked down that runway for that Italian stylist—-the one with the green headdress and the shiny material 😆. If you know what I’m talking about, you’re a real one.
Anyway, since the whole wedding was practically free, that meant the food was free too. You know what was on the menu?
Fish. Shellfish.
They say never eat sushi or raw fish from a gas station. Yea, never eat free raw fish from any random company.
It can be dangerous.
I felt completely bad when everyone at the wedding started throwing up and Ami herself was the first one to blow chunks. On. Her. Wedding. Day. That had to suck! Imagine the pictures she would show her kids in the future. But hey, it would make for a good story 🤪 During this part, I thought it was really honorable of Olive who tried to take the attention off her sister and how she helped get Ami out of the room because she knew how important this day was to her. I mean, get you a twin who would help you out on your wedding day in that way! 💛 Everyone at the wedding got this flu virus that would last for weeks, however, Ami had one a trip to Maui for her and her husband Dane’s honeymoon. No refunds or exchanges. Because they were twins and Ami didn’t want the trip to go to waste, she told Olive to go and enjoy herself—-her spurt of good luck. Olive didn’t want to go at first because she felt the need to take care of her sister—–again, what a good sister—–but then she agreed to go because Ami really wanted her to. Only problem was Ehtan, Dane’s brother, was going to take his spot on the honeymoon.
So they both go on this unhoneymoon to Maui.
And like Darla from the “Little Rascals” would say, “They hated each other’s guts.”
The thing is they thought they hated each other’s guts, which goes back to this idea that as people we honestly assume so much about others when we don’t know what they’re thinking or what they’re going through. Olive always thought Ethan hated her because she was a curvier girl who he one day caught with a plate of cheese curds. She thought Ethan was disgusted by her and how she was bigger and would eat like that. But Ethan was told by Dane that Olive was off limits and to not date her. He also told Ethan that Olive was uptight and always angry at things. Ethan also always acted rude to Olive as a way to stamp down his crush for her because he did like her and wanted to ask her out. So he stayed away and treated her kind of coldly. All of this assuming and guessing how the other felt made them hate each other because they both had different ideas. It’s so irritatingly complicated the way people are. I’m guilty of this too. There was one person who I thought didn’t like me for some reason because she always would have a taut or closed off face when I would enter a conversation. Then my friend and I were talking about this girl one day—-all good things—–and I was like, “I don’t think she likes me.” What my friend told me shocked me. She said, “She thinks you don’t like her,” she being the girl who would have a closed off face whenever I was around. And when I heard that I took a step back and tried to see the ways in which maybe I reflected that sentiment to her and I guess in some ways I could see how I would also be a bit more quiet around her and how she could have taken that as dislike. But in all honesty, I did not dislike this girl at all. I wanted to be friends with her and for her to like me, I just thought she didn’t like me so I gave up trying. The point of this story being that we can’t just assume a person doesn’t like us unless we hear it from them directly. If you think someone has a problem with you, be kind about it and ask them, “Hey, have I done anything to offend you?” or something like that. Then you both can have a meaningful conversation to work out whatever miscommunication there was. It’s always miscommunication. Here’s the thing though, if someone says they don’t like you to your face, don’t take it personally—–it’s hard not to, I get it—–but understand not everyone’s going to like you and that’s okay. You have people in your life who do and that’s all that matters.
That was a long story, but I wanted to just talk about how Olive and Ethan’s entire dislike for each other was due to miscommunication and how they made up this idea that they disliked each other.
When they started to actually get to know each other as people, then they were able to see that they were not who they thought the other to be. I thought it was cute how Ethan was nervous to fly on the plane because I can completely relate to that. Olive was teasing him slightly about it, but at the same time it didn’t make sense to her because Ethan would always fly with his brother for these party trips. I also liked how Ethan would read books on the balcony of the hotel and act all scholarly. What was cuter though was his obvious passion for math and when he geeked out about it to Olive. You can really tell a person’s passions from how they talk about it. It made Olive realize that as much as she loved science and biology, she didn’t get the same passionate zeal for it as Ethan did for numbers.
What I loved most about Ethan and Olive was their banter. I mean you had to LOVE their banter. It kind of reminded me of Jackson and Miley from Hannah Montana because of how they would always throw something clever at each other. There was this one conversation they had when Ethan was talking about his job as mentioned before and then he said his title and Olive was like, “What does that mean?” He was then like:
“We can’t all have jobs as self-explanatory as drug dealer.”
(pg. 185)
Olive wasn’t a drug dealer, but it was a jab at her. I also loved the way he poked fun at her for getting the cheapest airline 😂. When they got to the hotel, they were also supposed to act like Ami and Dane Thomas and when they got to the front desk, Olive would keep stumbling over her words and saying too much and it was hilarious! I think the desk lady looked at her driver’s license and then at the picture of the reservation online, which was Ami, and Olive was like “I’ve put on some weight because I stress bake and I lost my job,” and all of that. If I was Ethan I would have slapped my forehead 😂.
Olive’s a horrendous liar.
What made matters worse was when she ran into her future boss.
Right before going to Maui, Olive got a call from a biology place where she would work for a man named Mr. Hamilton. And you know Olive, she’s a lucky one 😉. She ran into him on the way out of her massage on the first day there. Out of all the places in the world. Out of all the places he could be in that moment. Way to meet the boss 😂.
Then the masseuse lady had to come out and yell Mrs. Thomas, which wasn’t Olive’s last name to Mr. Hamilton and he was confused. So she either had to lie to her boss about being married or lie to the hotel and say she took her twin’s vacation because she had the stomach flu. If you were Olive, which would you have lied about? I think I would have lied to the boss too if I’m being honest. I would already be on vacation and it would suck to get kicked out of the hotel or end the trip soon due to a misunderstanding. But I also felt bad because Olive had to lie to her future boss in that way and she knew it was wrong. Then Mr. Hamilton invited her for dinner and to bring her “husband.”
Ethan was smug to play the part of Olive’s husband because that meant he would get the main bedroom. I think if Ethan and Olive were actually married at this time, they would have been great friends with Mr. Hamilton and his wife. They really liked Olive and Ethan together and that’s saying something even if it was just acting.
Then Ethan has his own problems to deal with.
His ex was there too.
There goes his bad luck.
Olive and Ethan were made for each other 🤪.
The whole backstory about Sophie, the ex, made my heart hurt for Ethan. I could understand why he would be so uptight and receptive to love. He literally had a three year relationship with this woman and was going to propose and when he did, something happened and she couldn’t fully answer the question. When he went home that same night, he saw a note from her that said “I don’t think we should get married.” She was gone. Just like that. Who leaves a note like that when you were in a good relationship where the man proposed to you? She should have had the decency to give him a face to face answer. I felt for Ethan. He bared his heart out and got left!
It kind of made me wonder why he would be so nervous around Sophie now, but if a person is still nervous around an ex, there has to be feelings still there. I think Ethan had hoped that they would get back together and seeing her in Maui was his hope, but then he realized she had a boyfriend. So of course, Ethan would literally rub his “wife” in Sophie’s face. Serves her right for leaving him like that! I just felt like Sophie and her boyfriend showed up at the most inconvenient times. She was also very present like she had no life and wanted to always be seen by Ethan to show him what he lost. BUT HONEY, HE’S MOVING ON!!!!! If Sophie were content in her relationship though, she shouldn’t have felt the need to rub it in Ethan’s face like that. She just felt some sort of regret because she couldn’t have him anymore and the fact that he was with Olive who was curvier than her. They truly do mean it when they say you want what you can’t have.
But they also mean it when they say jealousy makes for good romance.
I mean that’s how Olive and Ethan got together. To make Sophie jealous in some ways and to also get Sophie off his back.
I liked the part when they went on the boat together and they had the snorkeling adventure. I think it was the first time they actually got along and didn’t hate it. I didn’t hate it. I was living for it! What was hilarious though was when Sophie and her boyfriend were making out across the boat and Olive and Ethan were uncomfortable because they weren’t going to kiss, so they just talked to make it seem like they were in love. The closet scene. UGH! The iconic closet scene in this book was awkward as it was hilarious. This part gave me “The Proposal” vibes and Ryan Reynolds was coming out of the shower and Sandra Bullock was there too and they both fell down on each other. I’m getting a lot of rom com inspired things now that I think about it 🤔 Still awkwardly funny!
I also enjoyed the paintball scene where Olive only went along with it as a change to hit Ethan. Jokes on her, they were on the same team against a bunch of kids. Ethan calls them kids and the teen boys say the most teen boy things I have EVER HEARD.
“We can’t shoot a bunch of kids.”
One with braces and a backward cap steps forward. “Who’re you calling a kid? You scared, Grandpa?”
Ethan girls easily. “If your mom drove you here, you’re a kid.”
His friends snicker in the background, egging him on. “Actually your mom drove me here. Took my [whooha] in the back seat.”
At this Ethan lets out a bursting laugh. “Yeah, that sounds exactly like something Bard Thomas would do.” He turns away.
(pg. 169)
Typical teenagers with their mom jokes. I just thought it was funny how riled up Ethan got about being called out by them and how he wanted to blast them with paint. Sucks that they lost.
Their bodies were sore and at this point they just wanted a massage. So a massage they went to get.
The odds were not in their favor.
They had to massage each other!!!!!
I was CRINGING and LAUGHING for them! 🤪!!!!
Imagine having to massage a person you don’t like. Massage with oil. *Shudders*
Yea, no thank you.
But they liked each other. We knew that. I knew that. They knew that.
That’s why part of them didn’t say no to the situation because they were turned on. It was such an intimate scene on so many levels and I think that this was the part where you truly see them start to not hate each other, but give into these real feelings they had for each other. Once they did that, things took off for them in terms of their relationship.
I was HERE for it.
They were cute because they made each other better and they were in a relationship that was honest—–ironic. There was that one moment where Sophie tried to goad Ethan into having a drink with her. In that moment, Ethan was quiet and to Olive it came across as him wanting Sophie back and they had this whole fight about how he never thought about Olive’s feelings, which he should have. But she had to understand his perspective in things too. Here he was trying to have a nice meal with his new girlfriend/wife and the last thing he wanted was to see his ex. They were both tired of it.
When they got back home from the Maui trip they were spotted kissing in the airport by Dane and Ami who were still ill. Ethan and Olive were planning to tell them later, but hey, I guess there is no better time than the present. That had to suck for Ethan and Olive who had to be open about it right away like that. What was also just funny was how once Ami knew, the whole family knew.
I would like to just take a moment to appreciate the Torres family because they are honestly one of the most realistic families you can get in a book. During Olive’s speech during the wedding, she was reading off her phone what she was going to say, but all her relatives were texting her random things like, “You look funny,” or “Ethan looks hot.” And I just kept laughing because they know she’s looking at her phone, but they didn’t need to text her 🤪. I also just love how they were always there for Olive. They were so connected and caring. When Olive needed a job, they pulled strings in the family to get her the best job at a good family restaurant. When Ami went through her break up they also got her food and cared for her. The family was the best part of the book if I’m being honest.
But I got ahead of myself with that.
So part of going back to Maui is this thing that’s weighing on Olive’s consciousness. Ethan mentioned to her how Dane was sleeping with other girls when Ami thought they were exclusive for their entire relationship. He stopped months before getting married to her. WHAT A SLEAZE!!!!! I felt utterly AWFUL for Ami because she had a stomach bug, missed her honeymoon, and now she would find out her husband was never loyal to her. Olive wasn’t going to tell her because she told Ethan she wasn’t going to mention it, but then that sleaze tried to hit on Olive saying, “let’s switch it up if you get bored.” I mean who says that?!!!! Even as a joke it’s disgusting. You don’t hit on family. *I CRINGE*
I was soooooooooooo MAD when everyone was turning on Olive! First there was Ethan who NEVER believed her, which I could understand because family first and you always think the best of your family. But ETHAN, I know your brother is DISGUSTING, YOU know your brother is DISGUSTING, WE all know your brother is DISGUSTING. So stop doubting it!!! 😤 But I get it though because sometimes when we hear something that doesn’t make the person we admire seem prestigious, we don’t want to believe it. But Ethan should have believed Olive. It just hurt that he denied her and made her feel like it was because she was being pessimistic and stubborn. I think it was harder for Olive to lose Ami, though, because they were sisters, twins nonetheless. Again, for Ami it was a hard pill to swallow and hear because she also chalked it up to Olive being jealous, bitter, or lying to her because “Oh, I’m Olive and all the bad things happen to me, wah wah wah.” Some harsh things came from Ami in this conversation about how she truly saw Olive and I felt like that hurt even more because when harsh truths come from loved ones, it hits like a T-R-U-C-K. And even though Ethan and her broke up and she lost her job, after that fight with Ami, it was the first time she really broke down and cried.
Speaking of losing her job. Yea, I forgot to mention she lost her job.
Mr. Hamilton called her into his office on that first day after Olive confessed to him that she lied about being married to Ethan due to a long and ‘funny’ story, which he didn’t find funny at all. Olive had to sign a morality clause for work and because she sat down to dinner with him and lied straight to her face, he didn’t trust her anymore. I get it, but still, he had to look at it from her side of the story and the uncomfortable and abnormal situation she was in. I would be skeptical of Olive too, but I think I would have given her a chance to prove herself and win back that trust. But no, he sacked her.
“I got sacked.”
“Yea, you did!”
(pg. 300)
Dane’s a child 😂. But I can’t say I didn’t laugh.
But that’s why she had the restaurant job, which I thought gave her the perfect space to figure out things she wanted to. Sometimes in life we hit rock bottom or get the no’s as a way to redirect us, and this was Olive’s rock bottom redirection to discover what she wanted to do. I’m happy she found a job giving lectures to kids about vaccines rather than actually working in a lab.
During this time, Ami and her talked minimally, or really not at all, until Ami texted Olive about texts on Dane’s phone from a woman. The thing was even if I knew Ami was mad at Olive and didn’t want to believe her, I knew there was a part of Ami that did believe Olive because why would Olive make all of that up. Olive was just trying to look out for her and I knew with time Ami would see that. So Ami snooped around on his phone and figured out the truth.
Olive was there for Ami even if harsh things were said when they fought, but that’s the thing about sibling relationships, no matter what you say or how bad things get, you find it in your heart to forgive them and be there. I ABSOLUTELY loved the part when they confronted Dane for cheating. He came home and saw that Olive was there and his mood shifted, but he still acted nice. Olive was not having it and when Dane tried to talk to her, she was like “Screw you” 😂 without any preamble. I WAS LAUGHING!
Screw him indeed ladies and gents!
Then the doorbell rang and all the women on Dane’s phone showed up and Ami was like I’m his wife. All of them were DISGUSTED, I TOLD YOU DISGUSTED, with Dane and what he did to his wife. They felt as used as Ami did, but they also felt terrible because they didn’t know he was married. I can’t fully blame them. But I can blame Dane. WHAT A LOSER 🤮. Served him right to get served.
But the power that Ami had in this situation in kicking Dane out and showing him that she wasn’t a fool was a girl boss moment if there ever was one 👏🏼. I also loved how Olive closed the door on Ethan when he showed up during this part because it symbolized how she needed to be there with her sister right now and not to deal with boys.
Two-timers are the worst ✌🏼🙃.
Olive never truly forgave Ethan. He would text her how sorry he was and that he wanted to talk to her, but she didn’t want to talk to him. After a while, Ami talked to Ethan because he also wanted to apologize to her in how he knew this whole time and said nothing, which is such a mature act if you ask me. It meant he wanted to make things better unlike the brother. But then again, Dane couldn’t have said anything that would have made Ami take him back. Olive missed Ethan so much, and the whole time, I’m like girl, just talk to him and put yourself out of this misery!!!
But you know what happened?
The family happened!
Gotta love the family 😆
While she was working, she had to serve Mr. Hamilton’s table, whose wife was pointedly mad at him for firing Olive given the situation. I liked the wife a lot more! But then Ethan was also there in an aloha shirt and a mai tai on his table. He proclaimed this whole speech to Olive to win her back and it was such a sweet moment and funny because the family all took off their disguises to celebrate that Olive had her man back.
The epilogue was a full circle moment.
I loved how Ami had a boyfriend whom she met through Ethan and how they were both couples who went to Maui again for a fun trip, but also because Olive had a vaccine convention there. It was luck and fate that brought the, there again.
Then came the part where Ethan was like he has a ring in his pocket and I was like EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!
He was going to propose 🥺!
He kept waiting for the perfect moment to do it and of course he would choose the sunset to propose to her. But then Olive had to say how cheesy it was that some people propose during sunsets, so Ethan didn’t follow through with it. And then Olive picked up what he was going to do and then she asked him to marry her and it was kind of a sweet moment between the two of them. I liked the gender-bending role of the proposal itself, but there was also something kind of awkwardly rushed about the whole scene that didn’t seem authentic. It was supposed to be messy like their whole relationship, so I get it, but I just felt like it was rushed when it could have been done in a sweeter way like maybe on a hike, a snorkel trip, or maybe they could have gone on a boat and he would have taken her in a closet and tried to propose to her there in silence. I think that would have been funny 😂.
I still enjoyed the ending, though. It was a tropical romance with a lot of family and heart. I would have liked to see more cultural aspects as someone who grew up in Hawaii. I feel like the Hawaiian culture or the actual beauty of Maul was glossed over to these generic ideals of palm trees, sunsets, beaches, and turquoise waters——not that Maui doesn’t have that—–but there’s so much more to Maui or to Hawaii than just the touristy things. This book’s sole focus wasn’t a cultural homage to Maui though, so it’s understandable. But still I would have loved to see something a bit more honorary to Maui.
Anyway, if you read this book what was your favorite part? Your least favorite part? Would you go on a free trip with your worst enemy? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful and bright day whenever and wherever you might be reading this.
And as always, with love,
Rating
4.87 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Olive and Ethan are fun people to be around and I think it would be cool to be their friends. Olive has the spunk and finesse and Ethan has wit and his geeky moments. They complement each other nicely.
Plot: I can thoroughly imagine this book becoming a rom com movie in the future and if it is, I called it.
Writing: Simple, funny, and light-hearted. Just what you need when you want a good book to pick up.
Romance: I liked the hate to love aspect, but I loved the family aspect more and how caring they all were of each other. Torres family for the win.