“Jules could hiss and snarl all she wanted, but she couldn’t hide her desire. She wanted me as much as I wanted her, and we both hated ourselves for it.”
(pg. 131)
Author: Ana Huang
Genre: New Adult Smut Romance๐๐ผ
Click to read other book reviews
Twisted Love
Twisted Games
Twisted Lies
He hates her…almost as much as he wants her.
Gorgeous, cocky, and fast on his way to becoming a hotshot doctor, Josh Chen has never met a woman he couldnโt charmโexcept for Jules f**king Ambrose.
The beautiful redhead has been a thorn in his side since they met, but she also consumes his thoughts in a way no woman ever has.
When their animosity explodes into one unforgettable night, he proposes a solution thatโll get her out of his system once and for all: an enemies with benefits arrangement with simple rules.
No jealousy.
No strings attached.
And absolutely no falling in love.
**
Outgoing and ambitious, Jules Ambrose is a former party girl whoโs focused on one thing: passing the attorneyโs bar exam.
The last thing she needs is to get involved with a doctor who puts the SUFFER in insufferableโฆno matter how good-looking he is.
But the more she gets to know him, the more she realizes thereโs more than meets the eye to the man sheโs hated for so long.
Her best friendโs brother.
Her nemesis.
And her only salvation.
Theirs is a match made in hell, and when the demons from their past catch up with them, theyโre faced with truths that could either save them โฆor destroy everything theyโve worked for.
Twisted Hate is a steamy enemies with benefits/enemies to lovers romance. It’s book three in the Twisted series but can be read as a standalone.
โผ๏ธโผ๏ธWarning: It contains explicit content, profanity, and topics that may be sensitive to some readers. For details, please see content notes inside the book. Recommended for 18+. โผ๏ธโผ๏ธ
Spoilers Contained Below
To all those who started off enemies,
If you know anything about me from reading this blog it is that enemies-to-lovers isn’t my favorite trope.
Yes, yes, I know, wow, someone who doesn’t love enemies to lovers??????
Yea.
But I will CONFIDENTLY say that Twisted Hate is HANDS DOWN, SHOOK THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS my absolute favorite enemies-to-lovers book ever. Period.
Amen.
I’m going to get waaaay into why later, but let me just start with I think the enemies-to-lovers trope has been misexecuted in most books I have read because sometimes the main characters hate each other for the most inane, nonsensical reason, or heck, sometimes there isn’t a reason and the characters just hate each other, and I just could never be invested in a book that felt like the characters were just trying to screw each other over because they wanted to hate each other for nothing ๐. I don’t know. In my brain, I would just rather have someone be kind and nice if they liked me rather than be rude and peez me off because they are five-years-old and can’t express their feelings like a mature adult ๐คช. I digress.
But Twisted Hate is everything I ever wanted in an enemies-to-lovers; this book was enemies-to-lovers done right and then some.
I loved the hate. I loved the angst. I loved the tension. I loved the passion. I loved the smut. I loved the banter. I loved the drama. I loved the friendships. I loved the family. I loved the love. I loved everything that this book encompassed. As much as I am praising the trope of enemies-to-lovers in Twisted Hate, the story was definitely more than about the hate between two characters. I loved seeing the progression of the hate turn into something undeniably honest, tender, and real and watching two characters break down each others walls to find comfort and safety with one another.
I also loved seeing these characters we knew and loved from the other Twisted books, finally have their moment to shine. Because if I am being honest, I was hyped to read Twisted Hate the minute I read Jules and Josh’s heated dialogue ๐๐ผ!!! I mean, the tension alone from a few lines here and there from the last two books?????? Incomparable. I just KNEW Jules and Josh’s book was going to be good.
And it was fan-freaking-tastic.
“Fate liked to screw with me, and it’d never screwed me over harder than when it’d introduced a certain redhead into my life.”
(pg. 25)
I always freaking loved Jules โฅ๏ธโฅ๏ธโฅ๏ธ!!!
From the last few books and this book, I have the utmost admiration for her confidence, boldness, passion, and integrity. She was just a strong woman who knew what she wanted, and heck, if she wanted a good time, she would get a good time. That’s the thing, though. In the previous books, we had this image of Jules being the “party-girl” or the person who was the “trouble-maker,” but one of the things I loved so much about this book was finally getting to know Jules behind the mask—the real Jules.
Because as much as I admired Jules’s strength, I also felt like she hid who she really was behind this big persona; the strongest people, smile the widest kind of sentiment. I just didn’t expect Jules childhood to have been so devastatingly tough and bleak. However, it did explain a lot in terms of how Jules was strong because she always had to look after herself/protect herself.
Jules Ambrose was actually Jules miller who grew up in a small town in Ohio with her mom. Jules mom, Adeline, was the picture definition of perfection—Adelina won pageants and awards. Adeline was known for her beauty and praised for it constantly. When Jules grew up, she inherited her mom’s beauty to the point the mom never again looked at Jules as a daughter, but as competition. That sentiment within itself made my heart hurt for Jules because she was a kid, she didn’t deserve her mom’s jealousy or anger. I understand that it might have been hard to not be the center of attention or to not look the way she did when she was younger, but the mom shouldn’t have projected her anger on her daughter so much. Because the mom only cared about her looks, the mom spent a lot of money on clothes, makeup, or any superficial thing rather than things they needed to survive. Jules had to learn pretty quickly how to fend for herself and scrap pieces together to make ends meet to survive. I remember Jules saying once how she learned how to jump on someone’s wifi or internet because her mom didn’t have enough money to pay for theirs. I just think about how hard that must have been for Jules to not only feel like her mom hated her but to not have her basic needs met.
Adeline eventually married a rich guy named Alastair. Jules and the mom moved into his rich mansion, and things were stable. What reallllllly peezed me off was the story of how the mom FREAKING KICKED OUT HER OWN DAUGHTER OVER SOMETHING DUMB ๐ก!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not. HOW DARE THE MOM. What an insecure, jealous, petty little raisin!!! Alastair tried making a move on Jules and the mom caught Alastair trying to kiss Jules. Alastair spun the story to villainize Jules as the person who tried to make a move on him, and this DUMMIE believed this loser Alastair rather than her own daughter, so she kicked Jules to the curb for “making a move on Alastair.” UMMMM, there’s soooo many things wrong with that. I’m sorry, if I were Adeline, I don’t care how vain and dumb I am, I would never ever ever believe a man’s word if he told me that a young woman tried to attack him and kiss him. Yes, said young women who is cowering and shaking in the corner from being traumatized and harassed by a sleevy old man โน๏ธ. Never ever. I knew that the mom probably just liked that she had an excuse to cut her daughter out of her life because her daughter was more beautiful than her—in more ways than one, if I’m being honest. I also absolutely detested how the people in the town were so unbothered about Jules being out on the street because they all wanted to start stupid rumors about how she got kicked out for drugs or being pregnant. I’m sorry, did anyone ever go up to the poor sixteen-year-old and ask her why she was out on the street rather than assume it was for drugs or being pregnant โน๏ธ????? Like hello!?!!??!?! I would absolutely hate my hometown if people thought so lowly of me to not even check in with me if I were suddenly homeless like that.
Jules was homeless ๐ข. My gosh. I don’t blame Jules for trusting the first loser who gave her attention—Max.
After she was kicked out, she met this guy Max who brought her onto a heavy and immoral path. Max and Jules would do cons together—a little criminal couple. I kind of wanted to know more about Max and if he found himself in the same situation of being kicked out or had no parents because I wasn’t too clear on why he wanted to steal. I mean, times do be tough, but stealing is not the answer to anything. I had no idea how they afforded this ski trip then ๐ . Sometime when Max and Jules were dating, Max took her on a ski trip where Jules rose-colored glasses broke and Max was no longer this shiny guy who saved her, but a total creep who only thought of her as her body.
The last thing she did with Max was go back to Alastair’s mansion to steal $50k from his safe. Max got greedy and wanted to also take this expensive necklace that he could sell for more money. However, Alastair and Adeline came home early that night. When rushing to escape Alastair’s mansion, Max knocked over a side table with a vase, causing the necklace to fly across the hallway. Instead of going back for the necklace, Max ran with Jules because he knew they were going to get caught. They did manage to get away.
Max got caught. I mean, it was his own fault for wanting to get the necklace and being a dummy for knocking over a table in his haste. A table that had his blood sample ๐. He was sent to prison for seven years.
Jules took her portion and went all the way to Thayer, changed her name, and never looked back at her life in Ohio. I mean, great for Jules because she started in such a shizzy situation, and I don’t condone stealing, but I was happy that Jules got out of that town and got to start over—to do better with her life now that she could have a life.
Growing up knowing her mother resented her and that her “boyfriend,” Max only cared about her for her body, always made Jules uncomfortable. I truly believe that deep down Jules didn’t like when people only thought of her as curves and an a** because they objectified her without getting to know who she was. I don’t think anyone likes when someone objectifies them, and it sucks when people assume something of you because you look a certain way. Just like the way Josh assumed that Jules was no good or was trouble because she had a party girl reputation.
One of the reasons that the enemies-to-lovers situation worked so well was because there was a valid reason for the hate.
Jules overheard Josh talking to Ava when she was heading back to their dorm, and Josh wanted Ava to break off her friendship with Jules because Jules was “trouble and bad news.” Just because someone likes to party doesn’t mean they are bad news. Heck, many people party. And I agreed with Jules that Ava wanted to go with Jules and Ava was acting on her own volition; Ava’s a grown adult too so it wasn’t Jules’s fault if they did both get in trouble that one time—it was on both of them. I understood how much Josh’s words hurt because Josh’s unwarranted anger came from the same presumption of everyone back in Ohio who spread nasty rumors about her, and Max who made her feel like a blow-up doll. Everyone judged her for her looks and she never felt like people saw her as more—like she wasn’t good enough to be more because she had boobs and a butt. That sucked.
He didn’t know her, and yet he judged. He presumed just like everyone else.
I don’t blame her. Hate away sis ๐.
Jules has so much more to her than people gave her credit for. She was also dedicated to her friends who she would protect with all her heart, and she was dedicated to her dreams.
This boss a** bi*** was working on taking the bar exam to become a mother forking LAWYER ๐๐ผ!!!!
She is beauty and brain.
Knowing Jules’s upbringing, I loved it even more why she wanted to become a lawyer. I thought she wanted to be a lawyer to help protect people who couldn’t protect themselves the way she had to learn how to do the same early on. Jules mostly wanted to be a lawyer for financial stability, which was fair also given how she constantly had to figure out loopholes growing up. I liked my reasoning more ๐. I admired her so much in how she worked at LHAC at the hospital to support families in unjust cases; I loved the passion she got when she talked about justice. I also loved seeing a more academic side to Jules who would study and put in the work towards making her goals a reality. In order to work at Silver & Klein where she was offered a job, she first had to pass the bar exam, but in the mean time she worked at LHAC with Josh.
“There were probably a hundred pour souls walking around with low self-esteem so Josh Chen could sail through life with an ego the size of Jupiter.”
(pg. 70)
Another thing I appreciated the most about Twisted Hate was getting to know Josh. You know how most brothers in TV shows or movies are depicted as nerdy, nervous, and awkward? GOSH, I quite loved how Josh was absolutely the opposite of what most shows and movies made a brother ๐๐ผ!!! I loved the sense that Josh loved danger and the thrill—-he liked doing things that teetered on ridiculously insane because he enjoyed the rush of a challenge.
“The pain reminded me I was alive.”
(pg. 164)
I guess that explained why Josh was friends with Alex ๐. Both love a thrill.
I just never expected Josh to be someone who was absolutely cool. I knew in the previous books that he was cool, but not this cool. Gosh, not me hyping up a fictional character. Jules was right though with how Josh was very confident in himself, I don’t think in a cocky way that came across, to me, as disgusting. I just thought he was confident in a sarcastic, quippy way, which there’s a whole difference between being cocky and being confident.
Because Josh loved a challenge and the rush, I didn’t think that he liked girls who fell over themselves because they were attracted to him. I felt like he did need someone who challenged him and kept him on his toes—someone who absolutely hated his guts.
Jules and Josh, gosh even their names together sound perfect ๐ฉโฅ๏ธ had the very best banter. No dialogue did not hit. I loved how even when they got together later, they still maintained such strong, witty lines with each other that managed to maintain the finesse of their banter while also being tender and sweet.
I freaking laughed when Josh walked into the LHAC office to say hello to the new girl, and he found out the new girl was his enemy. He was sooo ready to put on the charm. Their disappointment and disgust was palpable and hilarious ๐. I liked how they were mature enough to recognize that they needed to have a modicum of professionalism because they were in a work hence this truce they had at work. I thought it was so out of character, but actually really sweet when Josh showed up the next day with a cinnamon cupcake for Jules, and she asked if he poisoned the cupcake. I don’t blame her. But there was something that made my heart twinge with giddy joy with how Josh seemingly noticed how much Jules loved cinnamon by how she constantly ordered salted cinnamon drinks. I mean, if he was picking up things she liked, in my brain, he had to be a little bit interested. No guy just notices little details about you if they are not interested ๐ . I mean, no guy would care. But Josh did, which was entirely sweet. I also liked how they had a very normal moment together in the office where he worked across from her in the kitchen and they talked about the case with the mom who couldn’t work and the dad who couldn’t find a job because he went to prison for being in possession of drugs. Josh saw a side to Jules he never seen, and I felt like it was special that he could see Jules as someone with passion—someone who cared so much about what she did.
Ugh, the ski trip with Ava and Alex was EVERYTHING โฅ๏ธ!
The ski trip took their relationship from enemies-to-I-don’t-completely-hate-you.
From the minute their was the whole cabin mix-up, I was like Jules and Josh are going to share one bed ๐. It’s like they had—-it was written in the stars aka by Ana Huang. I would have been more disappointed if they didn’t have to share one bed. HAHAHA, I was surprised though that Alex didn’t go all cold-rage at the hotel for mixing up his room.
My heart wanted to melt with how Josh willingly volunteered to stay back with Jules to teach her how to ski ๐ฅบโฅ๏ธ! He truly could have said, “peace out bi***” and left her to stay inside the cabin or whatever, but he wanted to teach her how to ski. I mean, ๐ฉโฅ๏ธ!!!!!!! Again, someone who doesn’t care about you or is not interested would not go through the effort to want to help you. I loved how patient Josh was with Jules because he could have easily have given up on her due to frustration, but he never gave up on her. He didn’t even let Jules give up on herself, and kind of used reverse psychology when she did want to give up. Yea, Jules wasn’t no quitter. Josh just knew her so well that she would respond to being called a quitter. It was so nice to see Josh and Jules interact civilly with each other and how their truly wasn’t hate between them.
I loved how concerned Josh was about Jules the whole trip. Jules got awful cramps from having her period come early, so she rested in her room. He didn’t know what was wrong with Jules until he went back to the hotel room and Ava told him. The way Josh became Dr.Josh and cared for Jules who was lying down in pain was EVERYTHING. I loved how he wasn’t a menace about teasing her for being in pain or being an a** to her when she was already hurting. Instead, he gave her an underbelly massage with lavender oil and gave her a warm towel ๐ฅบโฅ๏ธ! I’m sorry, where can I get this kind of energy during my period???? I loved loved loved how tender and sweet he was with Jules.
After the ski trip, there was definitely a different energy between Jules and Josh where they didn’t absolutely hate each other, but they wanted to hate each other. I think they just loved the way they challenged each other. I honestly had my jaw hit the floor at the way Jules played Josh at the bar in the scene where she made a bet with him to see who could get the most numbers at the bar. Josh went around table to table, only to notice Jules was barely making her way through the bar. Instead, like the queen she was, she went up on stage and gave a sob story about how she was going through a break-up and her friend reminded her the best way to get over someone was to get under someone and if anyone would want to be that someone. The utter way every man went up to Jules and gave her their number was impressive as it was hilarious. I loved how Josh was such a good sport about Jules winning because he was like, “Why didn’t I think about doing that?” I mean, just the utter confidence Jules had to go up on stage like that and knowing guys would crawl to her to give her their number was such a power move, and I loved it.
When walking home from the bar, Jules and Josh got into such a heated argument. Josh used the same tone and claim that Jules was trouble and put on an act, and Jules retaliated with how Josh liked to be reckless and hold onto grudges because that was the only thing he had left to hold onto. They were saying very truthful, borderline unforgivable things, that I felt like would have hurt if they weren’t Josh and Jules. But they already hated each other, so I think saying hateful things didn’t bother them as much as sunk deep into their realizations. Heck, all I could think about was how they were letting it all out there and I knew that there was going to be a heated, passionate kiss that came from this argument.
Was I wrong?
Heck, no!!!
Honestly, if Jules is a dirty little sl**, then I’m a dirty little sl** reader ๐.
THE SPICE in this book was NEXT LEVEL ๐ถ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ฅ!!!!
Next level uncomfortable ๐คช for me, a literal child. Joking, I’m old enough to read this book. But gosh, you know how you read some spicy books and you’re like, what is going on? Yea, I’m a child.
My jaw was dropped.
Literally jaw dropped at the way Josh had Jules in a literal chokehold! AHHHHHHHHHH.
I felt like I needed to get a room because they needed to get a room.
I mean, from the way Josh told her to get on on her knees and she was like, “Make me.” Okay, sis!!! Or the way josh was like, “You’re my personal he**, Red” (pg. 153). Even their smutty scenes had so much filthy talk, but also really dirty banter that was sooo on point for Jules and Josh. Like, I was high-key impressed with how Ana Huang maintained their hateful banter.
“She rolled her shoulders in a shrug. ‘You’ve always lacked taste.’
‘I’m f***ing you, aren’t I? What does that say about you?'”
(pg. 239)
What was so different about their first smut scene, and also very impressive was how Ana Huang made their first time hateful. Making their first time an act of hate was perfect for the tension that always lied between Josh and Jules, and in a twisted way, I liked how their first time also felt like a fight in the way they were petty with each other because they wanted to make the other person beg or feel like the one who was in control—not in a malicious or abusive way. I just thought the feel of the scene was incredible for what Josh and Jules’s relationship felt like in the beginning and how they had all this hateful tension with each other that truly exploded into them exploring and taking out this tension in a new way.
“Nothing about what we were doing was sweet or sensual. It wasn’t an emotional connection. It wasn’t even about a physical attraction . . . No, we f***ed like it was our catharsis, a purge of everything dark and ugly that’d festered over the years.”
(pg. 153-4)
I did like the idea that they were getting this hate out of their system because their relationship was about to completely different than what it had been since they met—like they were breaking down this fourth wall from hating each other to hating the way they were beginning to like each other.
Friends with benefits never work in the sense someone always catches feelings.
Same with enemies with benefits.
I knew this was going to be an awful—i.e. best—idea. It was honesty mocking how Ana Huang and many authors will write something along the lines of, “I will never fall in love with so-and-so,” and that’s absolutely what they do.
If I thought the first time was dirty, it only got dirtier. I mean, without getting into details, I felt hot and bothered. Also, not me laughing in disbelief at every time Josh had her in a chokehold because what even!?!?!? That sounds absolutely dangerous and awful. Sorry, not for me. Just the aggressiveness though from Josh was so unexpected because in my mind I always thought of him as brother, but like, dang. He said, I am not a bro, I’m the bro ๐.
Their enemies with benefits relationship sure broke the rules they made, but I loved it. They said no sleeping over, and Jules slept over. It was pouring outside, and Josh didn’t want her to go out in the rain, so they fought over what movie to watch, which I loved. I laughed when they settled Finding Nemo. I could not stop gushing at the way Josh didn’t watch the movie, but the way he watched Jules watching the movie ๐ฅบโฅ๏ธ!! How sweet!!!! I don’t know what it’s called **cough cough love cough cough** when someone watches you when experiencing something, but I always felt like when someone watches you, it’s such a special connection because they want to see how you see things. And I loved the way Josh loved how Jules watched Finding Nemo like she was watching it for the first time. Also, what a gentleman to carry Jules to his bed when she fell asleep.
I also freaking loved the moment when Josh brings Jules to the staff picnic and without being asked, made Jules’s plate for her; the gesture was sweet in how much he knew her. I loved it though when Josh bit off Micah’s head for saying Jules didn’t peg him as a lawyer. I loved how we went from fighting each other to fighting for each other.
“Josh was supposed to be my nemesis, but he turned out to be my ally.”
(pg. 228)
There were too many favorite moments in this book, but one of my absolute favorites for its lightheartedness and for the amount of love was Bridget and Rhys’s wedding!!!! I LOVED. I genuinely loved how Ana Huang interwove the other Twisted series characters and that we were getting to see their happily ever afters. I was so excited for Bridget and Rhys! I loved that we got to go to Eldorra with everyone again and that it felt like old times with Ava, Jules, Bridget, and Stella and they went out together. I loved the little detail written about how it was bittersweet to be hanging out together as a group, but also felt like the end of something because Bridget was getting married. That’s a big deal. I mean, becoming queen was a big deal, but being married meant so much more in the sense that she had this eternal connection with someone and wouldn’t just be about her life, but hers and Rhys. I understood the melancholy thoughts Jules had because it’s hard when you see your friends grow up and you are all at different places in life and you feel like your place is so different from theirs. It’s also hard to reconcile the thought that things will be different and won’t be as easy as it was back then because they all had different lives now. So I was glad that they had a night together to be.
I loved how Jules stood up for Ava as Jules would always do. But I loved it even more how Jules took the “blame” as to what happened because if Alex did know that someone tried to grope Ava, it was game over for that guy. And to think Josh ever called her a bad influence. Shame. I liked when she was honest and told Josh why she hated him and how Josh felt ashamed for what he said later on so much he apologized for wrongfully judging her. I appreciated the honesty between them because most times in enemies-to-lovers books I don’t think the characters ever talk about why they hate each other, let alone apologize for the wrong they did to cause that hate.
The way Josh looked at Jules at the wedding is the way anyone who loves you should look at you.
“Some people smile with their mouths; Jules smiled with her whole face. The sparkle in her eyes, the adorable crinkle of her nose, the small crease in her cheek . . . watching her smile was like watching the night sky light up with stars.”
(pg. 271)
Complete adoration. Absolute exaltation. Outright love.
“I don’t know when I stopped hating Jules and started craving her.”
(pg. 277)
They were just so many moments and jokes between them that led them to not hating each other that it was such a beautiful process to see them slowly see each other in new lights. I loved seeing the ways Josh could honesty be so tender and sweet when he wasn’t busy hating her guts and a prick. I legit laughed when this line came up later:
“The flutters intensified. Damn it. When he wasn’t being an a**, he could be so . . . sweet.”
(pg. 320)
Because it was true. Josh became someone incredibly sweet when he did love someone. He also became a savage but we low-key love that ๐.
What was most special about Josh and Jules relationship that I believe is the foundation of any beautiful relationship was being able to be so comfortable around each other that they let each other see each other in more vulnerable lights.
Jules’s mom unexpectedly passed away from a devastating car crash.
As much as the mom mistreated Jules, Adeline was still Jules’s mom, and losing a parent would always hurt. I was touched at the way that the first person Jules went to after receiving the news about her mom was Josh. I loved how Josh could instantly tell something was wrong and comforted her without question or expectation. I also loved the way Josh just listened to Jules talk about her childhood because she never talked about her childhood with anyone. She felts safe with Josh and like he understood because he knew what it was like to have a shizzy parent, but still kind of care. I have so much admiration for Jules in the way she spoke her truth because her story wasn’t so much about the bad things she had done, but the unlucky hand she had. After Jules left Ohio, many years later, Alastair’s house had a fire and he passed away. But Alastair left some money for Adeline, however, she spent all that money again and had nothing.
Adeline had nothing and no one.
Except Jules.
In the beginning, Jules was going to call her mom because it was her mom’s birthday, but Jules never called, always opting to call next year. Jules carried a lot of guilt now knowing that she put off calling her mom each year, thinking she would have another year to try. But now . . . That’s so hard because of the way the mom treated Jules, but Jules also wanting to not be on bad terms with the mom because she was the mom. Josh and I ran on the same wavelength of knowing though that if the mom ever wanted to reach out to Jules too, the mom could have. But the mom never did. Heck, Jules did call the mom once and the mom never called back. Adeline could have called back sometime if she wanted a relationship with her daughter, but she let her jealousy get in the way. It wasn’t Jules fault, and she shouldn’t feel guilty.
Josh was truly an anchor for Jules. I loved how he never judged her for her past, instead he calmed her down and planned everything for her—he didn’t want her to do everything alone. I admired the steadfast way he helped Jules by booking her flights, a hotel, and finding out about funeral information. I mean, just wow. Get you someone who is your anchor and who would support you at a low time.
I wanted to sob along with Jules the minute she heard Josh’s voice at the hotel in Ohio. Josh chose to be in Ohio with Jules instead of going on his New Zealand trip ๐ฅบ!!!
If your partner doesn’t cancel their plans to be with you at your lowest, then that’s not it, sis!!!!
I laughed cried with how he said he wanted to see the crotchet museum ๐ข. Yea, you liar!
I loved how even before his trip, Josh wasn’t excited about New Zealand anymore because he would rather have been with Jules. You could feel it even before Jules told him about her mom.
I freaking loved the way Josh made the trip back home more bearable for Jules. She had never been back to Ohio since leaving, and Ohio was still the same. However, with Josh, it felt less dreadful and she didn’t absolutely resent being back. Instead, she got to show Josh her version of Ohio—all the places she loved and memories that didn’t hurt. I liked when they ate at that diner tighter and they talked abbot books and how her favorite book was Charolette’s Web. I also loved that Josh was there at the funeral. It broke my heart how the funeral only consisted of Jules and Josh–that not many people knew about Adeline to be there or that Adeline didn’t have many close people in her life. That hurts. I am glad that Jules went back to the trailer/house that her mom lived to find closure. I felt like doing so was the best move Jules could do for herself in terms of wanting to move on. All these years she wanted to reach out to her mom and she would never get the chance to again, but she could find pieces of her mom in the trailer. I felt for Jules in how the mom only had pictures of herself in her house as if the mom only cared about herself and her beauty. I hurt for the Jules who probably wanted to think her mom cared just an ounce about her. But the mom never did. When Jules walked out of that house, the first thing that popped up in my brain was, “Josh also needed closure.” Funny how the next line was Josh thinking the same thing; great minds think alike.
In Twisted Love, Ava and Josh’s father, if you could even call him a father, was revealed as the person who almost drowned Ava and tried to suffocate her and he made his wife out to be the monster when he was really the monster. Suffice to say, he wasn’t a father more so a murderer and a psychotic loser who was now rightfully in jail. However, Josh was never the person Michael Chen hated. He never really wanted a daughter, but Josh was fully his son, so he treated Josh better. But when Josh found out about how Michael tried to kill Ava and all the other atrocities he had done, obviously Josh cut his father out of his life. The thing was, Michael sent Josh letters from jail that Josh had never opened until after Jules’s visit to Ohio when she got closure with his mom.
I always wondered how Josh felt with his father in jail because he had a stronger relationship to his father. I mean father and son relationships are very different because there’s a certain kinship.
“Not a felon, but my father.”
(pg. 160)
I felt for Josh because he had such visceral emotions about his father—on one hand he hated his father for everything he had done to Ava and their family, but part of him also remembered all the “good times” with his father that made him somewhat remember his father as not a monster. That’s hard because Josh did have these good memories with his father, but now they were tainted by who his father was and that’s difficult to reconcile those two conflicting emotions and experiences.
When Josh visited his father, I didn’t expect this big heart-felt reunion or reconciliation. I just wanted Josh to say his part because Josh held a lot of anger about his father. A lot of Josh’s anger came from his father and the people closest to him in feeling like everyone he loved betrayed him. I completely understood where Josh was coming from to trust people you love so much because you think they would never hurt you, and feeling absolutely betrayed when they do hurt you. I think it hurts more when the people who you love and trust hurt you because you loved and trusted them. But then they broke that love and trust and it makes you feel like if those who you trusted and loved most in the world can easily turn on you, who can you trust? It hurts. And so I don’t blame Josh for being angry or guarded about who he let in because he didn’t want to get hurt again—he didn’t want to love someone or something so much that they had the power to hurt him.
If men truly have one thing, it’s the audacity. I just could not believe—I could though—how the father didn’t even care about Josh, but what Josh could give him. I mean, did Michael even think about the words coming out of his mouth???? Hello, your “son,” the last person who probably cared about you finally came to visit and all you can say to him was can you help me out by giving me drugs because you’re a doctor. THE AUDACITY. I would have said JAIL, but it’s too late for that ๐คช.
Like how dare the dad just sit there and act like he didn’t try to kill Ava, not once, but twice, and then pin the mom, and then ask his son for drugs????? STUIPD.
When Josh let his anger go and was like, “You tried to kill my sister,” I was like, “let’s mother forking go!!!!” Can you shout it louder for the people in the back, Josh ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ!!! I don’t think the entire prison heard what Michael Chen did. Not even Michael not feeling a smidgen of remorse for what he did. A vile excuse of a human being *shakes head*. What I loved most about Josh visiting his father was the moment Josh walked out. I was so proud of Josh telling his father that they might have been related by blood but they were no family, and then Josh left. He said his part and said I’m never seeing you again. As Josh should ๐๐ผ! I wanted to hug Josh because as much as it must have felt good to give his father the proverbial middle finger, it must have also hurt knowing that he lost his father or this idea of a father a long time ago.
“I had closure, but no one told me closure was such a bi***. It clawed at my bones and ripped a bloody gash through my heart until every breath became a battle.
But instead of trying to assuage it, I embraced it. Because even though pain hurt like a motherf******, it proved you were still alive, and it was only after it faded that you could finally heal.”
(pg. 344)
No one does talk about how much closure does hurt. Or how much healing hurts.
Closure truly does feel like a full body procedure that hurts from the inside out.
I think sometimes closure isn’t the hardest part though, it’s the healing—-it’s the trying to move forward while your’e still wounded and trying your best not to reopen those wounds. But It is arduous not to reopen those wounds when something reminds you of the pain that hurt you in the first place. Healing is a whole other process that takes so much time. And it hurts.
But I was proud that Jules and Josh both found some sort of closure so they could heal and try to move forward. I was glad that they had each other because they understood one another’s wounds like those wounds were their own.
If choosing to be with you for your parents funeral instead of a trip you planned and being inspired to find closure didn’t say I love you, then I don’t know what did. Their relationship was built on so many fine details that made me love the love they shared. I absolutely loved how Josh made his intentions clear and played no games as to who he wanted to be with.
We love a partner who is clear about wanting to be with you!!!
Honestly, if Josh wasn’t a doctor, he should be out here offering his services to other men when planning a first date ๐.
I mean, Jules and Josh’s first date? A DREAM!!!
Dude took her to the bookstore ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ. A bookstore??? He can have me in a chokehold any day.
Not only did he take her to a bookstore, he made a whole a** scavenger hunt with letters!!! Wow wow wow. SO CUTE. I loved. I loved how I felt like Josh was probably just watching Jules, seeing her smile and curiosity at what was going on. And not Josh being a man who listened and put one of his clues in Jules favorite book, Charolette’s Web! Oh, and if the scavenger hunt wasn’t cute enough, he bought all the books that he used in the scavenger hunts for Jules.
Get you a partner who takes you to a bookstore, does a personalized scavenger hunt, and buys you a shiz ton of books.
That is not a date, that is an expectation ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ!
I loved when they also went to an Italian restaurant and had to sneak out early because Alex and Ava had come. We love.
“‘I wouldn’t say that’s the only thing that you have left to hold onto.’
. . . ‘Careful, Red.’ Pleasurable goosebumps dotted my skin at Josh’s soft warning. ‘Keep saying things like that, and I might never let you go.'”
(pg. 327)
I just was in love with the love they shared and built together because their relationship was so different once they understood each other.
But gosh, Max threw a wrench into everything.
Sucker was released from prison after seven years, and he came back to taunt/haunt Jules ๐.
I get it, he went to jail for his crimes, boo hoo. But also, it wasn’t Jules’s fault that she stuck to the plan and he got greedy by wanting the necklace and knocking over that table, which led to him bleeding, sooooooo . . . oh well.
I just could not though with his all around creepy vibes with stalking Jules online from the pictures with Bridget and tracking her down to D.C. Don’t even get me started on his cryptic a** texts. Ewww. Sigh, I DETESTED that he had this sex tape blackmail video over Jules from when he filmed Jules doing it with a random guy a long time ago. He threatened to release the video, which could very well ruin Jules’s career before her career even started, which gosh that sucked so much. I just didn’t know how Jules was going to get out of Max’s threats unless she told Alex to, you know, because I bet my bottom dollar Alex would take care of Max for Jules. But Jules didn’t want anyone to know about her past to judge her for it, which I understood. However, I felt like her loved ones would also understood where she was coming from and why she did what she had to to survive. I also knew where Jules was coming from with how apprehensive she was about ever telling Josh about her past. Josh assumed the worst of her in the beginning and she didn’t want to prove him right by telling him how she used to be a thief. The situation was very complicated in knowing how they were building a real relationship and she didn’t want to lose him because . . . she loved him ๐ฅบ.
I knew the second Max came back into Jules’s life that he wanted revenge by having Jules steal something in the hopes that she could get caught and go to jail like he did. I think it was worst that what he asked her to steal was that horrid painting that Josh offhandedly bought at a garage sale or something. Who would have thought that that exact painting would be the one thing that Max wanted her to steal. I wonder if Max somehow planned the situation this way or that it was just an added benefit that Jules was stealing from her boyfriend. I didn’t know how she was going to get out of stealing the painting from Josh because she either stole the painting or had her sex tape published for the world. I thought it was smart that Stella staged that someone robbed Josh’s apartment so it wouldn’t look weird if only his painting was missing. I did feel like Jules must have felt wrong about stealing from her boyfriend and to go so far as take other things to make the robbery look real. I understood why she staged a robbery, but gosh that must have sucked knowing that Josh would return home and feel violated. Being robbed absolutely feels violating in the way some stranger goes through your things and takes what they want—like they are seeing pieces of you that are personal.
I kind of wish Jules told Josh about Max blackmailing her because Josh already knew that Max was a creep from that one encounter at the bar. I truly think Josh would have given Jules the painting without a second thought and he would have helped her find a way through this mess, or that she would have gone to Alex.
I was surprised that Jules went to Christian Harper, her landlord.
Christian Harper. I low-key forgot about him from Twisted Games, but to be fair it has been a while since I read Twisted Games. Christian was Rhys’s old boss who was the CEO of Harper’s security. Honestly by his description, he is pure chiseled bones, tan skin, and a beautiful smile. And I am completely here for the way he was enthralled by Stella ๐!!!! He said I don’t give two hoots and a holler about Jules, step aside sis so I can see your beautiful friend Stella.
Can we just say LOVE INTEREST ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ!!!! I’m ready for Twisted Lies โ๐ผ.
I was absolutely gob smacked with how he lowered Jules’s and Stella’s rent by a whooping chunk!!! If only that happened in real life. Christian said I will lower the rent exponentially as long as Stella lived under his roof ๐คช!! I loved how Stella it was that she didn’t even notice how Christian was looking at her.
Because we are talking about Christian and Stella, I just wanted to mention how I liked how Ana Huang set up Twisted Lies by building more background on Christian and Stella. Apparently, Stella has a stalker from doing her social media and fashion job, a stalker that I feel like is still creeping on her and is something we are going to explore in the next book. Stella just seemed very distracted and uncomfortable in this book that I felt like she was obviously hiding the fact that the stalker was making her feel unsafe again and she didn’t know how to handle the situation. I think in the next book we’re also going to explore Stella possibly quitting her fashion job to explore doing her blog or just being the self-ran business woman she was because I don’t think her going back and forth between two jobs was making her all that happy. I’m excited to explore Stella’s plot and getting to know her past spurts and moments.
I’m also highly interested in getting to know the debonair Christian Harper and what else he has up his sleeve. I also want to know about his business friend Dante Russo jp owned the Russo Luxury company after his grandfather passed away? I don’t know if the grandfather passing away was something that happened naturally or with because you would think Dante would have felt more choked up about someone passing away, but it felt like he was more prepared to take over his grandfather’s role in the company. Weird, no?
How do these women find such successful and respected men?
Oh right, they’re not real ๐คช. I wish they were.
I digress.
Jules went to Christian because he had the largest and most successful security business and she wanted his help with erasing the sex tape from all of Max’s device. I liked that we went down this route or needing to delete the sex tape because there was no way that even after Jules delivered on stealing the painting, that Max would stop using the tape as leverage over her. We needed to get rid of the tape forever.
There’s something enigmatic and a little bit dangerous about Christian that I’m intrigued by. He seems to like to play games or he likes to feel like he has the upper hand. I don’t know, almost like a sinister vibe but not super evil, just likes the idea of being wicked. I mean, he truly could have helped Jules out of the kindness of his heart, but he said let’s make a deal like he was Rumpelstiltskin or something. I had no idea what kind of favor he was going to cash in later with Jules, but I can bet my bottom dollar that his favor is going to have to do with Stella. You should have seen the way my jaw dropped to the floor When Jules had to sign that contract that if she didn’t follow through on the deal, she owed him two million dollars and he if he didn’t follow through, he owed her two million dollars. Excuse me???? No normal person has two million dollars ๐ . I’m lucky if I have two dollars in my wallet. Two million? In my dreams. Two million dollars felt like something younger me would have written on lined paper as a innocuous kid, saying you owed me that much for making you a pretend sandwich at my pretend restaurant.
I could not fathom.
I liked how much Christian did help Jules by making sure Jules had a security with her if things went south with Max. Max had such a big ego that he could not see how Jules played him right under his nose in his own dinky motel room. I literally screamed when Kage walked into the room just as Max was getting physical with Jules after Jules asked Max to check his computer and phone for the video. I cackled, hahaha, leave Jules alone!
As Jules walked out of Max’s motel room with the painting and all of Josh’s things, she came to the realization that she didn’t want to lie to Josh.
“Moving on from the past didn’t mean burying it beneath a new foundation and hoping no one found it; it meant exposing the ugliness to the light and taking responsibility.
You couldn’t heal from something if you didn’t acknowledge it.”
(pg. 393)
I had soooo many conflicting emotions ๐ฉ!!!
On one hand, I loved that Jules knew that she had to come clean to Josh because she could never live with herself and have a healthy relationship with Josh if she knew she had this big secret looming over them. On the other hand, if she told Josh she stole from him (within good reason ๐ ), then he would feel absolutely betrayed like he had felt betrayed by everyone he loved. And knowing Josh, he was still hurting from all those wounds from people he through he could trust, and being hurt by Jules would be like being gutted because he genuinely thought he could believe in her. So if he found out Jules lied to him, Josh would absolutely be wrecked—demolished.
Everything sucked ๐ฉ!!!
The whole scene sure did suck ๐โ๐ผ.
Gosh, I went there ๐.
Josh was seething with a different kind of anger, and I don’t know how Ana Hunang did it, but I felt it. There was such a burning red-hot hatred that felt like actual hatred rather than the petty, witty hatred Jules and Josh shared for most of the time they knew each other. Just reading the reveal through Josh’s perspective was absolutely painful for me in the sense that I could feel himself losing the love he built with Jules because that love was tainted by the lies. CUE DEEP AGONIZING SIGH. I could not.
I ABSOLUTELY DETESTED how whenever Josh or Jules were gearing up to say I love you to each other, it was always in moments of agony and then they were cut off from saying the three words. They just weren’t ready or didn’t want to hear such a powerful emotion that brought them a lot of pain in the past, which I understood. BUT GOSH, not Jules was saying she loved him and him stopping her from saying those three words in that moment ๐ฅ!!!
BUT WHAT JOSH DID!?!?!?!?!?
Brain malfunction at this point. He literally choked her with his you know what and then turned around his earlier saying when Jules asked if he forgave him, and he said, “I forgive you.” But then after he pulled out of her throat, he was like, “Remember when I said I forgive you . . . I lied.”
Can you feel that? Can you feel the way my jaw unhinged and dropped DOWN ๐ง!!!
That was SAVAGE.
Josh used one of the worst insecurities of Jules against her; how people thought she was only good for her body and for pleasure, so he “punished her’ by making their last time only about how lying and giving pleasure was the only thing she was good at. I wanted to chokehold Josh for the way he treated Jules in that moment โน๏ธ. But that line though . . . as much as it emotionally hurt, dang, it was a good line. I mean, talk about words that will haunt you. I felt for Jules because I knew Josh was coming from a place of hurt, but the way he wanted her to hurt as much as he did was hard to read. I don’t think he truly wanted to hurt her because even as he was, he felt remorseful for seeing her in pain and being the reason she was in pain. But I felt like he was just so lost in his own pain to react rationally.
I also understood how he would have rather her told her everything from the beginning because he would have ben on her side. I knew he would have been on Jules’s side as well, but when someone sees the worst in you and then don’t, you don’t want them to feel that perspective change from one moment in her past.
I could not when Josh said:
“‘I understand why you didn’t tell me the truth at Hyacinth, but after Ohio . . .’ My jaw clenched. ‘That’s what f***ing hurt the most. That I considered you worthy of trust but you don’t think the same of me.’
. . . ‘If you’d asked for the painting, I would’ve given it to you.’ My voice cracked. ‘I would’ve given you anything you wanted.'”
(pg. 403)
He would have given her everything because he loved her ๐ฉ.
Yea, trust do be a two-way street and she should have trusted him with her story, but I also understand why she didn’t. Heck, the way he reacted was exactly why. I think we missed the part where she had the courage to be honest with him even when she could have continued to lie and let that lie fester. But no, she told him the truth even when it was hard, and that was what mattered most.
Suffice to say, Josh was a menace after their fight because he was more angry at himself than he was at Jules. I think he was upset at Jules but he didn’t know how to forgive her or move on because his past was so full of betrayals and lies, that holding onto grudges or anger was all he ever knew. That’s hard to unlearn as adult.
Honestly, I give so much credit for Jules who had her heart absolutely smashed to smithereens but still somehow managed to piece herself together to study and take the bar exam. No shred of me would have mustered the desire to study, let alone take the freaking test when my mind was not in the best place.
OOOOH, I could not when Max mysteriously was there in the stairwell of the bar exam, and freaking attacked Jules! Literally pushed her down the stairs. JAIL. I was sooo worried for her, and was like, “I hope Josh comes out of the stairwell door or something to defend her honor.”
Let’s give some appreciation for Clara who knew what she was doing when she made Jules Josh’s patient.
We love a patient Dr. Chen โฅ๏ธ!
Honestly, you could see the utter love still in his eyes, and seeing her hurt and not knowing why or what caused that hurt, killed him. And I loved to see how much he still cared about her because as much as Jules lies hurt him, he still loved her, and I think that was hard for him to understand because he didn’t feel like he should.
“She was so close I could hear her breathing. I’d forgotten how much I loved that sound—the sound of her existing.”
(pg. 420)
If that sentence alone doesn’t show how much he loved her, I don’t know what did.
I loved how tender he was when trying to gauge what hurt or how she felt. I also loved when his Dr. Chen professional mask slipped and he asked her how she got hurt, and he pieced together that Max pushed her down the stairs. I loved loved loved though how he went from hating her guts, to being concerned about her, and then to wanting to murder for her ๐.
“‘You hate me.’ I was breathless and aching, wishing so hard for what he said to be true and utterly terrified it wasn’t.
‘I’ve never hated you.’
‘Liar.’
His soft laugh filled every molecule of air between us. ‘Okay, once upon a time I hate you a little bit . . . I don’t know what you did to me, Red. But somehow, I went from wanting to kill you . . . to wanting to kill for you.”
(pg. 441)
What true love ๐.
Truly, what is it with these men an alpha complexes ๐คช?!?!
Anyway, who better to take down someone than to call Alex. I loved when Josh walked out of Jules’s hospital room, he dialed Alex like nothing.
Josh and Alex’s relationship was one of my other favorite plot lines of this book โฅ๏ธ. I loved how Ana Huang seamlessly integrated their friendship and the tenseness of where they stood to unraveling the strings of their past so that they could be where they were now—starting over together.
Josh and Alex’s relationship was a plot that felt unfinished in the sense that they weren’t best friends anymore because Josh felt like Alex just used him to get to his father who didn’t turn out to be the one who killed Alex’s family. I understood how Josh felt because that sucked thinking that the only reason that your best friend liked you was a lie—that they were trying to get to know you just to get to your family. I mean, Josh trusted Alex with his secrets and menial things, that it hurt to feel like what they shared wasn’t real. I wanted Josh and Alex to be friends again because they were just good together, and there was something about their relationship that felt comfortable before the tenseness. Gosh knows Alex wasn’t just friends with anyone and not many people tolerated Alex, but somehow Josh liked Alex’s short, dark humor and they got along well. They both protected the people they loved and they were fiercely loyal and fiercely hurt growing up. They truly were two different sides of the same coin—yin and yang. So it hurt to feel the awkwardness between them.
As someone who has been angry at someone for years, I know how much that anger can hurt a relationship from becoming something new. I felt a little bit personally attacked when Jules told Alex that the only reason he held onto his grudge was because that was the only thing he had left to hold onto. It’s kind of like feeling like if I don’t have this anger at this person or thing, what else do I have or what else do I have against them? Holding a grudge also feels like part of who you are because someone hurt you deeply, you just think that it’s not fair that it feels like everyone has moved on but you are still here hurting from the way that they hurt you. And it’s hard to move on when you truly loved someone and they hurt you—-the greatest pain comes from the greatest love.
“I didn’t know how to move on no matter how much I wanted to. Every time I made progress, the yoke of the past yanked me back like a jealous mistress.”
(pg. 105-6)
I felt this quote on a personal level, not the mistress part, but the feeling.
Because I don’t think people talk about how hard it is to want to forgive, but not knowing how. I mean, forgiving sounds easy, you say sorry, you make up, the end. But no. It’s so much more than that, it’s trying to reconcile the hurt and pain you felt from someone you cared about and valued, and feeling like if you don’t feel that hurt or pain, then you feel wrong for wanting to move on or finding peace with the situation when that situation caused you so much pain. It’s almost like how can you move on from someone or something that hurt you? It’s that feeling of not knowing how to move on without those old feelings or hurt saying you need to wallow in that hurt for that hurt to have been real.
It’s tough.
And it’s a feeling I still grapple with to this day.
I liked how their was that initial awkwardness and tension between Alex and Josh during the ski trip. When they were skiing with each other but not really there with each other—-the moment was definitely weird. I liked how the tension melted when they challenged each other down the slopes because it felt like old times between them. I liked how Ana Huang started with the awkwarndness and then let Josh enjoy himself—like Josh and Alex could have a friendship again—and ended with Josh feeling upset at himself again for not being mad at Alex.
I did feel like Alex wanted to make things right with Alex because he didn’t have many friends and Josh was the closest thing he had to a friend. I think Alex kept his space from Josh because he never wanted to push a relationship with Josh if Josh wasn’t ready to forgive. So I liked how Alex silently waited out all these years until Josh was at a place to move forward. Sitting together at the bar at the ski lodge felt like an olive branch, and it was nice to not see them entirely hate each other.
I loved how they were going to work for their friendship.
“Maybe it’s time to forgive, even if we can’t forget.”
(pg. 240)
And sometimes we have to forgive for ourselves. Surely, forgiveness doesn’t have to be granted to someone because you truly forgive their actions, but forgiveness can be given to ourselves for going through that situation when we never deserved it.
Because it really is hard to forget what someone has said or done to you, but we can move on for ourselves.
This line felt like Josh allowing himself to want a relationship with Alex again.
I loved when they had a bro heart-to-heart at the sports game—they were trying โฅ๏ธ.
I loved when Alex started off with monotonous responses that built into them opening up to talking about the past and how sorry Alex was for hurting Josh.
“‘She understands me in a way no one else does, even if our worldviews are fundamentally different. When I’m not with her, I wish she were there. When I am with her, I want that moment to last forever. She makes me want to be a better person, and when I think about a world where she doesn’t exist . . .’ His jaw flexed. ‘I want to burn every inch of it to the ground.’
I stared at him. ‘Hold f***. Who are you and what the f*** have you done to Alex Volkov?’ I clapped him on the back. ‘Whoever you are, you should write for the murderous edition of Hallmark.'”
(pg. 420)
I loved how Josh wanted to know how Alex knew Ava was the one—how he knew he loved her.
I mean, if your partner is not talking about you in this way, throw that energy out and find someone who will ๐๐ผ!!!!
But I loved how they had this intimate and honest conversation to get out the tension, and also start to be real with each other again. I also loved how Alex’s words kept coming back to Josh as he began to untangle what exactly he felt for Jules.
So taking down Max together felt like such a great friend bonding activity ๐. Because nothing says let’s be friends again then taking down a bad guy.
Was anyone else kind of bothered but also unsurprised that Alex had a weird a** torture house in the middle of nowhere ๐????
Not literally Alex standing on the sidelines, unbothered and indifferent, at Josh latterly hashing it out with some guy who Alex didn’t know and who Alex didn’t want to hurt because he didn’t know Max. Good thing for Max that Alex didn’t know him. But gosh. Alex is comedically messed up in not even batting an eye to Josh interrogating and beating Max to a pulp until Josh went too far. It was so interesting to see Josh’s anger release itself in one final explosion, unfortunately, on Max, but still. I just felt all of Josh’s rage he held from his father, Alex, Jules, his childhood, all come out in the moment he was pummeling Max because Max sort of represented all this darkness he kept caged. I am not going to lie in how it felt like Josh wanted Max to get on his knees and tell him he was sorry.
But Josh was no murderer, and I appreciated that Alex stopped Josh from going too far.
The only thing Alex was interested in was how Josh mentioned Jules, you know, the woman he supposedly hated. I loved how Alex didn’t judge Josh for suddenly loving Jules because you know, sometimes you love the most unexpected person, but the right person. And honestly, let’s give one to Alex for talking some sense into Josh in how Jules had the courage to tell Josh the truth. We also love when Josh realized that he was a freaking idiot in how he reacted. Good for you, Josh, you were an idiot.
An idiot who really hurt Jules. I was kind of thinking that when Josh and Jules made up, that Jules would go back to him right away, but I liked it even more that she was hesitant to be with him again because of how he used her biggest insecurity against him. There were tears literally dripping down my face when Josh started to cry when Jules said she needed space with him because Josh loved her but he didn’t get the chance to say he loved her because Jules stopped him from saying the three words ๐ฉ!!!! I loved loved loved his apology. He needs to teach lessons on how to give apologies because perfection. All that could have been better was if he got on his knees and groveled ๐.
“‘Because you’re it for me. Whether it’s today, tomorrow, a year, decades from now, that’ll never change . . . I’m human, Red. I’ve made mistakes in the past, and I’ll make many more in the future. But one mistake I’ll never make is letting you go, not when there’s even a sliver of a chance left for us. Because the possibility of you is better than the reality of anyone else.'”
(pg. 445-6)
Because the possibility of you is better than the reality of anyone else!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??
Now that’s how I would want to be apologized too ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ!!!
When Josh walked away after kissing Jules on the forehead or something and said he would wait for her, I was done. Over. Goodbye. Josh Chen or no one else. Wow.
I loved how Josh got all territorial when Jules went out Asher Donavan, the famous sports player/model. Of course he followed Jules because he was jealous and didn’t want to share her. But I loved how going out with Asher made Jules even more reassured that what she felt with Josh was real and that she was the person getting in the own way of her happiness. But as much as he hurt from her betrayal, Jules also never grew up knowing a lot of love or trusting good things in her life, so I understood how hard it was for her to give her heart to Josh fully because she never allowed herself to accept the good things.
“‘He could be the King of f***ing England, but he’ll never give you what I’m willing to give you.’
The goosebumps multiplied. ‘What’s that?’
‘Everything. . . . My heart. My soul. My dignity. What do you want me to do, Jules?'”
(pg. 454)
Amen.
Get you a partner who also literally counts the days, hours, and seconds until they can be with you. I didn’t know Josh was such a romantic, but when he fell, he fell HARD!! We love. And finally, we got the I love yous!!! I loved that the I love yous were built up to the moment when they fully allowed themselves to be together with no lies or fears hidden underneath. What I loved most about them getting together at the end was how their intimate scene wasn’t from hate and wasn’t this rushed, angry, fevered thing, but it was about love—-how they went from intensity to tenderness. I loved feeling that difference in their relationship.
Gosh, when Jules and Josh told Ava about them, I freaking CACKLED when Ava laughed out loud because she thought they were screwing with her. I didn’t blame her because that would be the ultimate prank. I could not stop laughing when Ava asked Alex to get the knife, and Josh was like, “Well, this is not how I saw this going,” but Ava was just going to cut the pie they brought to soften Ava up. I knew Ava wasn’t truly going to be upset at Josh or Jules because of the irony of how Ava dated Alex and was nervous to tell Josh. I did love how Ava was more protective over Jules in this situation because Jules was like a sister to her. I also loved how Ava was supportive of Josh and Jules when Josh hinted that he loved Jules. Ava was a romantic. I wonder what Ava and Jules talked about or what kind of warning she gave about Josh.
You know, if this book didn’t already put me through a loop, the whole end part with Alex and Josh truly did for me. I loved loved loved the last friendship moment between Alex and Josh in this book because this moment was such a stark contrast to the tension that ran between them in the beginning; the tension made this scene even more special.
I loved how Alex gave this whole gushy talk to Josh about how Josh was the closest thing he had to a family and how Ava was the closest thing he had to a family. Alex doesn’t say mushy things, so when Alex kept talking and he said he wanted to make it official, I SCREAMED.
FELL TO THE GROUND, JAW HIT THE FLOOR, SCREAMED ๐ฉโฅ๏ธ!!!!!
Ana Huang, how dare you write something so beautiful!!!!!!
Alex was gearing up to ask Josh for his permission to marry his sister ๐ญ.
Be right back, going to sob again.
But Josh was so right in how Alex would never ask for anything, he just did what he wanted, but the fact that he valued Josh so much to want his permission to marry his sister was so beautiful and touching. I loved how Alex also said he wanted to wait to propose because he wanted to make things right with Josh first, which meant Alex valued his friendship with Josh as well as with Ava to make things right.
I thought I was done sobbing at how beautiful this scene was until Alex also asked Josh to be his best man ๐ญ.
“‘F*** man, you should’ve warmed me you were going to go all sentimental and sh**. I would’ve brought more Kleenex.'”
(pg. 475)
Going to crawl into a hole and cry some more.
I mean, Alex’s best man ๐ฅบโฅ๏ธ!
I loved that. I loved how Alex also called Josh his best friend because Alex never really acknowledged what they were to each other. I loved loved loved how Josh and Alex fell back into a new camaraderie with taunts and jokes about the bachelor party and how things already felt so right and light between them. My favorite bromance ever.
I would have loved to actually see the proposal, but I liked how we heard about the proposal through Jules who had photos. Alex flew him and Ava to London to propose in the gallery where he made up with her, which I thought was entirely special. I loved how nervous Alex was because if there was one thing Ava brought out in Alex, it was his human side. I was also super happy that Jules passed her bar exam and could live out her dream.
The last scene with Jules and Josh bungee cording/jumping in New Zealand was super fun. I loved how Josh said something along the lines of how he no longer needed a rush to feel alive but Jules made him feel alive. I loved that because I think Josh missed feeling that gave him a spark of life, and Jules was his match. The way that Josh and Jules experienced the trip together was also beautiful in the way that Josh was excited for the trip when he was single and then he lost interest. But to go on a trip and experience a place with someone he loved, had to have been special. The last line between them was golden.
“‘Still hate me?’ I whispered, lacing my fingers with Jules’s.
Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she squeezed my hand. ‘Always.””
(pg. 504)
CUTE โฅ๏ธ.
There has just never been a better done enemies-to-lovers that Twisted Hate. In my opinion. There was just such a wonderful balance of tension, fevor, passion, love, and drama that every page was addictive and wonderful. I honestly can’t wait for Stella’s story and to see everyone again and what they are up to. I feel like we haven’t seen Stella as much and I really want to know more about her.
While I was reading, I also low-key developed a playlist in my mind of songs that reminded me of Twisted Hate, so I’ll leave my unofficial playlist ideas below!
Jules
Bad Reputation by Shawn Mendes
Style by Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version (when it comes out))
Dress by Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version (when it comes out))
Haunted by Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version)
Josh
Heaven by Julia Michaels
Burn by Ellie Goulding
King of my Heart by Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version (when it comes out))
What was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? What did you think of the book?
Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all ๐
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this ๐.
And as always, with love,
5 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: I loved getting to know the many facets of Jules and Josh and to watch two people who hated each other, break down each others walls to find a beautiful and honest love.
Plot: The best enemies-to-lovers I’ve read hands-down. The tension, the passion, the tenderness, the love—I hated how much I loved this book โฅ๏ธ
Writing: Ana Huang’s writing is every bit of addictive as it is smutty
Romance: The chokehold they have on me ๐ Gosh, I don’t even know if I should be making this joke.