There’s Something About Sweetie By Sandhya Menon Book Review
“But the thing was, she couldn’t be honest right now. She knew how she felt, but she didn’t know how to convince her parents—–and Amma especially—-that she was right about her body, that she didn’t need to be thin to be happy, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. And until she could articulate those feelings and articulate them bravely and well, Sweetie knew, she’d have to keep the whole Sassy Sweetie Project under wraps.”
(pg 158)
About
Author: Sandhya Menon
Genre: Contemporary
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Synopsis
Ashish Patel didn’t know love could be so…sucky. After he’s dumped by his ex-girlfriend, his mojo goes AWOL. Even worse, his parents are annoyingly, smugly confident they could find him a better match. So, in a moment of weakness, Ash challenges them to set him up.
The Patels insist that Ashish date an Indian-American girl—under contract. Per subclause 1(a), he’ll be taking his date on “fun” excursions like visiting the Hindu temple and his eccentric Gita Auntie. Kill him now. How is this ever going to work?
Sweetie Nair is many things: a formidable track athlete who can outrun most people in California, a loyal friend, a shower-singing champion. Oh, and she’s also fat. To Sweetie’s traditional parents, this last detail is the kiss of death.
Sweetie loves her parents, but she’s so tired of being told she’s lacking because she’s fat. She decides it’s time to kick off the Sassy Sweetie Project, where she’ll show the world (and herself) what she’s really made of.
Ashish and Sweetie both have something to prove. But with each date they realize there’s an unexpected magic growing between them. Can they find their true selves without losing each other?
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To all the Sweeties out there,
There’s something about this book 💜
Sweetie is truly someone you fall in love with the instant you meet her. I loved how Sandhya made his book about a “fat” girl named Sweetie who is nothing but proud of her own body when the world tells her to be anything but. There’s this message from Sandhya before the book starts that I really admired in how it talks about the body positivity movement and what the purpose of this book is: to change the narrative. For so long, people who’ve seen girls or guys alike who are larger, curvier, or bigger than other people, tend to use this word called “fat.” We have made the word fat synonymous with not good enough or inferior and we use it as an insult to tease and ridicule those who are bigger and it’s like why in the world is fat a word we use so negatively? All throughout this book, it explores the word fat and how in some cases, depending on the person it can be such a negative word to them based on what they experienced, but to others like Sweetie, the word fat doesn’t hurt her because it’s just another word and is “simply the opposite of ‘thin,’ and as such, carries no other moral connotations.” It truly is just another word that people use to describe who they are or other people, but society has twisted that word to make people believe that being so is a bad thing. They think that fat people are lazy or sedentary or something vile—–like you should be ashamed of being fat. And I am SICK and DISGUSTED with people who make people who are bigger and curvier feel like they are less than just because of their weight and size because news flash, the world has diverse people or different colors, cultures, and sizes and no one’s going to be a stick figure Barbie doll. Some people are going to be curvier and darker and have different ways of looking and being and that’s perfectly fine because the diversity of the world is what makes the world such a unique and distinct place where we get to learn about different histories, cultures, and people of different backgrounds and that’s a beautiful thing. So when did we turn it into a bad thing? And how typical of us people to make beautiful things bad things and to hurt things that we don’t understand because we’re scared?
And fat is constantly used as an insult in our society and there was this part in the book where I had to literally sit down and just think to myself, if calling someone fat is an insult, then why isn’t calling someone skinny an insult?
Soak that in. Let it roam in every piece of your mind and body and soul. Let it sink in.
So here’s what I want you to imagine: if the world were reversed and fat was the norm and that’s what everyone looked like, wouldn’t the whole world want to be fat to fit in because skinny would be different? Just imagine. We have created this norm that skinny is beautiful and perfect and the “norm” or what everyone should look like, that we think anything else is less than. When did we come to that point? How could we have come to that point?
So here’s the thing, next time you see someone who is curvier or bigger than another person, I want you to catch yourself before you start thinking “Oh, she must have eaten to many burgers at McDonalds” or “Oh, he’s so lazy, ” or worse, “Oh, he/she is so fat.” I want you to catch yourself and realize that you HAVE NO IDEA what that person is going through, their genetics, or who they are and WHO are you to judge that person for who they are? WHO are you to do that? Maybe that person is going through a rough period in life or some medical hormonal changes have happened that caused that. Don’t you dare judge. Maybe they are feeling dejected or sad or lonely and lost. Don’t you dare judge. Maybe it’s their genetics and no matter how hard they work out and eat healthy, they’re just that size. Don’t you DARE judge.
Don’t you dare.
At the end of the day, fat shouldn’t be a curse word, it shouldn’t be an insult, it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of, it should be something to be loved just like any other human being.
Sweetie is someone you love. I loved her finesse and they way she didn’t give two hoots to what anyone thought about her for her size. I loved how strong she could be, how she knew her self-worth, and how she constantly proved people wrong about who she could be and what she could be. I also loved how soft and gentle Sweetie was too. She really is the optimity of an amazing person that anyone should look up to. So it BEYOND ANGERED me when her mom would constantly shade her and bring her down!!!! Her own FREAKING mother! 😤
I couldn’t handle the mother and I didn’t like her.
But you know what?
I understood where the mother was coming from. This book explores the South Asian view that households have about being thin and being bigger. As an Asian myself and as a person who has many Asian friends, I knew where Amma was coming from and I knew how Sweetie felt entirely. I honestly don’t completely blame Amma for how she judged Sweetie because it was just the way the Amma was raised. She was raised with her parents and her parents parents and all the way back with people who instilled in their kids that skinny is the way to be; it was this cycle of skinny teachings that she passed on to her. There’s this part of me that feels like since Amma was on the curvier side, she got the same type of ridicule from her parents who always told her to lose weight or people also teased her for her weight. So I think the Amma was just hurt as a kid and she didn’t want Sweetie to grow up experiencing that same hurt she felt, so she felt like telling Sweetie to lose weight and cover up was protecting her, but really it was hurting her relationship with her daughter. It was really tough love at it’s finest.
The beginning of the book was so hard to read because of all the things the Amma would say to Sweetie. Like why don’t you taste your words before you spit them out, why don’t you? 😠 I wanted to rage at her mom, but you don’t rage at your elders. There was this part where Sweetie just got home after running from track practice and she wanted a snack and was going to eat an apple—-a healthy snack—-and the mom told her to FREAKING run circles in the backyard as if by some gosh darn miracle Sweetie would turn skinny all of a sudden?! I COULD NOT! Been there tried that, it doesn’t help. This goes back to what I touched on earlier in how sometimes no matter how hard a person exercises and eats healthy, their genetics just makes them predisposed to be bigger and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And the mom couldn’t see past her fun house mirror glasses to realize her daughter was perfect the way she was. Or the fact that her mom would make empty handed statements like when they were talking about Sweetie having a better time for running and the mom was like:
“Wonderful, mol. Now just imagine how much faster you’ll go once you lose weight.”
(pg 27)
Somebody hold my earrings because those are some fighting words!!! Like what kind of mother tells their own daughter that! But what’s sadder is in real life, some mothers do.
And it’s so SICKENING to hear. Or when the mother was like “Thinner is healthier.” Please, why don’t you stitch that on a pillow and hang it up on the wall like some motivational poster at school. UGH.
Don’t even get me started on the Aunt Tina who makes even more shadier comments at Sweeite. She asked Sweetie what she was going to wear for her party and then she was like “But of course, one has to have the body for it, no?” (pg 50) 😤 Then they were ordering drinks at the restaurant and there was this sugary drink called Lassi, which sounds delicious by the way and I would love to try, but the aunt was like “Not for me or Sheena . . . Lassi is one of the fattiest drinks you can get. We”ll stick with water.” Why don’t you just call Sweetie fat to her face you shady shady person?
“Eating was so fraught when you were fat: If you ate something unhealthy, thin people would say it was no wonder you were fat. But if you ate something healthy, they’d roll their eyes, laugh, and say, “Yeah, right.”
(pg 44)
And this kind of goes with that whole water situation and getting the “fattier drink.” There’s always this double standard. People are going to judge you no matter what you do and they will never be happy with whatever because even if you do change for them to be what they want you to be, they’re always going to find something to pick apart and hate next. You really can’t please them all.
There was also this conversation when Amma got approached by Sunita Auntie about her potentially dating Ashish Patel and Amma didn’t want Sweetie to date him because she wasn’t skinny. Then this brought up this whole conversation.
“She saw the way guys as her school looked at her. At first, it had just been disdain and mockery because of her weight. And then, as she beat record after record, it was respect. Platonic respect. The kind of platonic respect that made them laugh when anyone suggested that they might take her to prom, as Izzy had suggested to Brett Perkins once. Sweetie had been sitting across the cafeteria, but she’d heard him say something along the lines of, “Aw, man, I love Sweetie like a sister. Or actually like a brother. She’s just not the kind of girl you take to the prom, you know? I mean I don’t even really think of her as a girl.”
(pg 56)
And this just made me sad because far too often I think people only see fat people as people who aren’t capable of being loved for their size. If you’re skinny, you’re more “desirable” and “easier” to love, but somehow if you’re bigger, you’re “not that girl” that people can love. Like how ridiculous is that? Size and weight does not equate to love and it hurt me that people would only see Sweetie for her size and wouldn’t see her as being something more than that.
Sweetie also wanted a chocolate fountain for her 17th birthday party, but you know what the Aunt said? She was like are you sure you want to do that? And gave her the once over or something!!! I was ready to push an Aunt into the sunlight so her shade could be seen and brunt off of her!! THE AUDACITY! If Sweetie wants a chocolate fountain you better stick some YOLO up in there and let her live! 🙄. There was also that one guy at the farmers market who was like:
“Your daughter looks like she enjoys your baking, which is just about the biggest compliment any chef can get, am I right?”
(pg 41)
Trust me, I’m not a violent person, but I would have jumped over that farmer’s market stand and tackled that guy over!!! Like who says that to someone?! Honestly, I would defend Sweetie in a heartbeat. A heartbeat.
I just mean the utter ridicule she gets from her entire family astounds me and this is why I love Sweetie. But there’s something about her.
Ashish Patel certainly saw it.
We never talked about Ashish yet. So let’s do. Ashish is another interesting character. At first he came across highly cocky about who he was: star basketball player and good with the ladies .In some ways it was really off putting for me because I don’t really like cocky people. He’s also in this boo-hoo state of having his heart broken because he was in love with his college girlfriend named Celia. My heart really went out to him though because it was his first love and I could understand how that could hurt a person a lot and it just made Ashish feel confused and lackluster. From a friend who’s not really a friend, Samir, tells Ashish that since his parents set up Rishi and Dimple, then maybe they could set up Ashish with someone too. In an act of desperation, Ashish takes Samir’s advice and does just that.
And that’s how Ashish and Sweetie came to be. Well, secretly because Amma didn’t want Sweetie to date Ashish because of her size. There was this part where she talks to Amma about it and Amma tries to justify what she’s doing as right because she’s the mother and just trying to protect her and “when she [losess] the weight, mol, you will be a suitable match for him.” Then the mom leaves and Sweetie sits there with a box in her lap with a heart in the corner and she’s like “That’s what it had been missing this entire time—love.” And my heart clenched so hard for Sweetie because all she does need is love—–love from her mom, love from her family, love from the world, and just plain old love.
Instead of being down on herself, Sweetie wants to prove her mother wrong about how guys like Ashish can love her for her size, so she defies her mother’s wishes and texts Ashish to meet her at a race track where she challenges him. Obviously, she wins. And I just loved that moment for her because she was very assertive and spunky and was like “my weight has nothing to do with my overall health” (pg 77). I LOVED that for her! Like go Sweetie, show him that you aren’t no lazy girl to be messing or fooling around with!! And I loved how upfront she was about it too because she knew that in some ways, guys like Ashish would question her size or make assumptions so she was all like, “Do you have any questions for me about my weight and track?” and I just imagined Ashish kind of cowering in a corner from how fierce Sweetie was.
I also loved how confident Sweetie was talking about everything to Ashish. Part of me feels like she had to be that upfront with him because if not he would make jokes or make those assumptions about her and she didn’t want to be shaded anymore and wanted to cut straight to the chase of things. I loved how she got Ashish to think of the word fat differently and how it wasn’t an insult. Ashish starts to look at Sweetie differently and it wasn’t because of her weight, it was because of her presence and the way she carried herself and I absolutely loved how Ashish told Sweetie that she was beautiful on the inside and outside. And that kind of brings up the point that it’s not about your weight, but about who you are deep down. Your passions, your confidence, your ability to be strong—–not the outside qualities. Truly get you a man who looks at you like Ashish looks at Sweetie.
So then develops this whole secret four dates thing that Sunita Autie (Ashish’s mom) and dad comes up with as terms for them to date. They had to go the Pavan Mandir which is a temple that the practice their religion/culutre, then they had to go to the Holly festival, wich sounds like a lot of fun, they they had to go to Gita Kaki’s house, who has Ashish’s great-aunt, and then the last date was a free choice, which turned out to be Sweetie’s birthday party where they would tell the parents that they have been dating. At first I thought all these requests were kind of strange and weird because who goes to a temple or a great-aunts house for a date, but I think the parent’s really have a career in matchmaking or planning dates. It could be like an Uber service or the Perfect Date kind of scenario.
The first date was entirely cute. I loved how it explored the Indian culture and what they did to practice their religion. You know it always interests me to see different cultures and to understand the way they do things because it’s so cool to see how much it differs from what I know. So I enjoyed when they went to the temple and how they talked about how Ashish never really going there that much because he’s not so much embarrassed by his culture, but I feel like Ashish felt like his culture was always shoved in his face and he thought it wasn’t cool so he didn’t want to do what a typical Indian kid would do. It also explains why he never dated an Indian woman too. But when he goes to the temple, Ashish feels like he’s at peace and that he’s restored and I loved that he was able to find comfort and serenity in what he believed in. I also liked how it reconnected him to his faith and gave him that lighter feeling on his chest after dealing with his break up and losing his mojo.
After the temple, they go on another lunch date-ish thing to a fancy resultant where they do what all main characters do in book—–get to know each other. So they do this whole lightning round of questions and every answer that Ashish asked Sweetie was the opposite of what he imagined her to pick; instead of picking the tougher or rougher choices, she picked the softer ones. It goes back to how Sweetie could be just as bold as she was, well sweet.
The second date was sweet too and how they poured colors all over each other and kissed in the grass. That’s the moment that Sweetie knew that she was in too deep. She wasn’t falling in love with Ashish, she had already fallen. And there was no coming back from that.
As far they’re both concerned, they know that this thing between them isn’t a 100% real. Ashish is honest with Sweetie and you have to hand it to him for being honest, but he told Sweetie that he was still dealign with the break-up of his ex and that he couldn’t give her all of him because some part of him still belonged to Celia. Sweetie understood that at the time because she knew how hard a break-up could be and she understood that this was just something she was doing to prove to herself that a skinny guy could like her. But as they go on more dates and get to know each other, their feelings get tangled, and they fall. Fall hard.
The best part of their relationship that I admired the most was how they truly made each other better. This is something else I highly admired about Sweetie: she was able to make Ashish think differently about things and change his perspective. Ashish, didn’t grow up so much as sheltered, but more privileged with a driver and a maid and so much money and being the “hot shot” that he doesn’t really see things for more than what they are. Sweetie, she grew up middle-class with a good group of friends, but I think that she sees the world with such kindness and love because she has never known kindness from the people who constantly judge her body, so she doesn’t want to treat people the same way they have treated her, so she treats them with kindness and with the understanding that maybe they are hurting and project that hurt to others. She made Ashish look at the whole Samir situation differently. Ashish and all his friends HATED Samir because he was arrogant and had a big mouth—-they truly couldn’t stand him. They exploded on Samir that they didn’t like him one day after Samir runs his mouth about Celia, but instead of being angry at Samir, Sweetie talks reasonably with Ashish and was like maybe he acts that way because he was homeschooled and doesn’t know how to act around people. I mean, the poor boy has been sheltered his whole life and has no human interaction, so he doesn’t know how to act around people and just wants friends. I hurt for Samir. She also had this nice conversation with Oliver after Elijah and him broke up about some cheating sandal and she got him to think about what they are both afraid of and how to sort through their relationship. Sweetie could also understand where he mother was coming from with all the shady comments because as much as the mom didn’t seem to like her daughter for her weight, she also maybe never felt happy in her own skin too, so she placed her insecurities on Sweetie. Sweetie’s ability to take the weeds of hate and make them flowers to grow from it, is the best part of her. It’s a quality we all should have more of.
As much as Sweetie is confident, everyone has their limits. Her friends and her wanted to raise money to get new track jersey’s so they have a band night fundraiser at this coffee shop and her friends want to do a set with Sweetie as the singer. Sweetie has only ever sung in the shower after track practice, so a huge part of her is TERRIFIED to go up on stage where a hundred eyes would be staring at her and judging her not only for her singing but for her size. I just wanted to hug Sweetie because I know so many singers on TV who have felt the exact same way—-that they aren’t good enough to sing because they are bigger than other people. Confident Sweetie was scared. It was just so humanizing to see that though, but I loved how her other cousin, Anjali Checi told her if she loves it she should do it and sing her heart out. A magic 8 ball of fate makes the decision for her and she does do the performance in front of everyone. It was such proud moment for Sweetie after all the nerves she felt. No one judged her for her size, but they loved her voice and even wanted an encore! I was beyond proud of her! 😊 You’re doing great, Sweetie! Get it 😉?
When all seems to be going swell, guess who comes texting for mercy?
FREAKING CELIA!!!!!
She slid into the messager! The messenger!!!! Someone dump her out!
The whole time I was like Ashish, don’t do it. Don’t do it.
He did it *Face palm*
He texted her back. I could understand why though because he wanted closure and he still kind of loved and cared for her. So after their second date on, he’s been texting Celia the whole shebang and everything and even planned to meet her at this fountain in the middle of Sweetie’s show. I couldn’t believe the audacity of Celia to flirt in her texts when she was the one who broke up with him or how she sent him this picture of her in a towel or something. I mean GROSS! 🤪 Get some class sister!
Before performing, Sweetie see’s Ashish’s phone blowing up with texts and lo and behold it’s Celia telling him how excited she was to see him. Just hit my head now, will you? I knew Sweetie was going to find out, but on the night of her show?! Gosh that sucked! Or the fact that he got her this big bouquet of flowers afterwards and this nice notecard with it and Sweetie was all angry at him because why would he give her flowers when he’s a lying player. I ABSOLUTELY loved her friends and how they ganged up on Ashish when talking to Celia. When they say ride or die friends, they mean it 😂
But Ashish’s conversation was anything but romantic with Celia. It was all about him telling her how he was dating someone else and in that omemtn he understands that there’s something about Sweetie.
“”But Sweetie, she’s . . . she’s like the other half of my jagged soul, you know? She’s got the soft edges that fuse with my harder ones. She’s so easy to be with. . . there’s something about Sweetie. Something I can’t explain. I just l- . . . I love her.”
(pg 307)
By gosh he could love again!
That’s the thing, no matter how hard heartbreak is at the moment , you will love again. And Ashish found it with Sweetie. I love love. Funny timing though that that’s when Sweetie’s friends mafia his butt. Ashsish and Celia try to calm them down by telling them that they were just getting closure and that nothing happened. As much as Sweetie believed him, she was also hurt, so she walked away from him that night with her friends.
“You don’t want to be that girl, Sweetie,” Izzy said from beside Suki. “The girl who becomes a doormat and gives the dirtbag guy a thousand chances just because he’s cute and can lie well.”
“No, I don’t,” Sweetie agreed. “I definitely don’t.” The one thing, she’d always had, the one thing she’d hung on to in spite of everything she’d been told about herself—-that she was ugly, that she was lazy, that no one would love her until she was thing, that she wasn’t a serious athlete because she was fat—-was her self-respect. And she’d be damned is she was going to let Ashish Patel take that away from her.
(pg 316)
Honey girl, preach for me, PREACH!!!
Don’t EVER let a guy or a girl take away your self-respect and your self-love. No matter how much guy or a girl can make you better or make your life better, you have to be happy with who you are as you are and know when you are being mistreated and used and when you need to walk away from that. Sweetie walked away. But she also followed her heart right back to him because she knew Ashish was being honest.
They have this conversation where they make up and they talk to each other about how much they love each other and it was so cute for them! I loved how Ashsih was like the last thing I wanted was to hurt you and it becomes this whole challenge to Sweetie to ask him hurting her or eating a frog, hurting her or running naked at a Bruins game. It was cute. And then like The Fault in Our Stars with the okay, okay and the Again, but Better lampposts, Sweetie and Ashish had their always, obviously 😆.
It was cute.
Then came the fourth date: the birthday party.
When Face-timing her Anjali Chechi all those months ago about what she wanted for her birthday, I knew she was going to ask for that outfit that her mother told her not to get. If Sweetie wants to wear an outfit because she feels like it’s going to make her feel confident and beautiful, then no one should ever take that away from her; if you wear something that makes you feel confident and beautiful, don’t let anyone take that away from you either.
Ashish gets to the party all nervous with flowers and chocolates in his hand for the mom and dad because he never met Sweetie’s parents. Heck, he’s meeting them as the boyfriend but they don’t know that. Then there’s this whole Cinderlla moment when Sweetie finally descends the staircase and he just stares at her like the diamond she was and it’s beautiful. Oh, this reminds me there was this hilarious part in the beginning where Ashish tired to not so discreetly sniff Sweetie because he heard if you knew a person’s scent, that means you felt a physical conncection or something so Ashish sniffed the air a little too hard and Sweetie was like “what are you doing?” 😂 I mean, boys! But anyway there was a part later after their first date when he wasn’t purposely sniffing her, he realized she smelled “heavenly, like sunshine and mint and something so soft it caressed his skin like silk” (pg 176). I don’t know but that part was hilarious and it’s crazy how far they’ve come..
Now let’s talk about the mom.
The mom? Can’t stand during some points. There was one point where I was in tears for Sweetie and I just couldn’t’ handle emotions. She was talking to her mom and asked her:
“If I never lose weight but still end up happy in life, will you be happy for me?” . . .
Amma paused, one hand on the doorjamb. Over her shoulder she said, “If you don’t lose weight and still end up happy, I will thank God for working miracles.” Then she left, shutting the door quietly behind her.
A tear spilled over onto Sweetie’s cheek, and she brushed it away with a fist. There were few things that made her feel lonelier than conversations with her own mother.
(pg 254-5)
The mother was so GOSH DARN RUDE to Sweetie!!! Couldn’t she see that her daughter was happy as she was and that she didn’t feel the need to change to be this ‘perfect skinny image’ to be happy? Couldn’t she see how much she was hurting her daughter by saying that? I mean Amma had to have tasted how bad those words sounded? Like why couldn’t she be happy for Sweetie and her own body?
Then at the party she says the first real nice thing to Sweetie about how she used to get teased when she was Sweetie’s age, which I had a hunch on, but she also talked to Sweetie about how she should have stood up for her when Tina auntie and Sheena would talk rudely to Sweetie. Then she tells her that she loves Sweetie for who she is and that she should do what she wants, not what anyone else wants. I mean, better late than never for Amma to have gotten to that conclusion, I’m I right?
Anyway, I abosleutley enjoyed when Amma did stand up for Sweetie when Tina auntie makes some snide comment about getting Sweetie a chocolate fountain for her birthday party. She was all like, “Well, you don’t need to get your daughter everything she wants.” Can I slap her? I’m joking 😅
So the mom goes livid when she sees what Sweetie is wearing and told her to go change and Sweetie was not having it. She was at her own birthday party and gosh darn it, if she wants to show some skin, let her show some skin! But you know what? Sweetie was not having it either! I loved how she stood up to the mom and told her this:
“I don’t care if they laugh at me, Amma. Will it hurt my feelings? Probably. Will it make me cry? Maybe. But don’t you see? Covering myself up, telling myself I can’t show my skin because I’m not good enough to do that, is way worse for me. I can’t live like that. I can’t constantly feel like half a person because of my weight. I need you to see that. I need you to love me as I am. Please.”
(pg 348)
Let’s clap for Sweetie! She knows how to tell ’em!
What she says is so raw and vulnerable because she lets her mom know that yes, people will say rude things that might hurt her, but covering up who she is is like covering up every part of herself and letting them win. She doesn’t want to live her life hiding who she is or her size because it’s a part of her and she loves that part of her and she should because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. The mom was so stuck in this idea that “thinner is healthier” that when Sweetie actually throws the word please in there like she’s begging, it finally snaps her out of this ideal to see that her daughter genuinely doesn’t feel like she’s loved as who she is. It’s this good heart-to-heart moment where Amma tells her shows her the fountain in the backyard and even though she doesn’t say she loves Sweetie, it’s the act of love that says it all and that means the world to her. I could see she was trying.
However, there’s only so much surprises Amma could handle in a day and Ashish Patel was not one of them. She totally freaks out and says that she couldn’t date anymore. What was kind of sad though was the dad’s reaction because Sweetie and him were close and her not telling him hurt him a lot more. Sweetie wanted to tell him but she had to keep it a secret because she knew he would tell Amma.
Her dad and her make up, but now it’s her to make up with Amma. So Sweetie goes to talk to her Amma and they have another heart-to-heart moment that’s much needed in their complicated relationship. Amma gives this story about how Sweetie was rejected from a coach in the past because she was “unhealthy” and he didn’t want to be “liable” if anything and happened to her, so Amma was just tryin to keep her safe and protect her. But Sweetie tried out for the team anyway and she tells Amma that she doesn’t ned her to protect her. Then they have this conversation that really opens up the Amma’s eyes and opens up the readers eyes as well. Again, this book opens that conversation of body positivity and understanding things from a different perspective, so as Sweetie asked her mom, let me ask you this:
“How do you think life would be different for me if I were thin right now . . .?
(pg 361)
I think most of us would answer if we were thinner, we would be happier, we would be more attractive, we would be richer, we would just live a better life. You know, I think that being thin isn’t the same thing as being healthy. I know some people out there who are thin as twigs but they eat nothing but junk food all the time and yet they’re still skinny as heck when I’m over here working my butt off trying to keep into shape because I know if I ate all the junk food in the world, I would be a literal potato. But some girls and guys can just eat and eat and never do anything and still be thin. That’s not to say that they are healthy, that’s to say they are genetically lucky that they don’t have to work for their body to be healthy. I know some girls who are curvier who eat the healthiest and exercise constantly because they want to be thin or they want to be healthy, and no matter how clean they eat or how much they burn calories, they just never are. That’s because they work for their body, but they are genetically disposed for something else. EveryBODY is different. Thin is not healthy, it’s a look. Healthy is doing what’s best for you mind, you body, and soul by taking care of every aspect of yourself by eating the best you can and exercising in a moderate way. Healthy is being moderate and trying to balance everything in life—–life is about BALANCE. And just because thin is associated with healthy people, it doesn’t’ mean everyone who is thin is healthy and it doesn’t mean everyone who is curvier isn’t. It’s all about perspective.
Amma responds to Sweetie that “You’d have more opportunities.” And in some ways, yes, being thin can get you more opportunities in this world that we live in. Being thin is the key to opportunity in America because if you’re thin, you’re “attractive,” you’re the “perfect person,” you’re “model-esque,” you’re all these things people hold on a pedestal. As much as there are some issues in this world that are growing worse, there are things that are getting better like body positivity and inclusivity. I LOVE THAT I’m growing up in a world where we have people going to pride parades and they’re no necessarily gay, I love that we have movies with queer, gay, or lesbian couples, I love that we have representation of Asians, African Americans, Mexicans, and all sorts of cultures in the media, I LOVE how we are being inclusive nowadays. So Sweetie tells her mom that she’s going to prom with Ashish (he asked her on the third date via parrots) and how she has good friends, how she’s going to go to a good college, how she has the highest grades, and how she has a boy who loves her for her. She has those “thin” opportunities as a bigger girl—–she did that. Her mom finally sees that maybe she was wrong all this time in thinking that Sweetie needed to change and be “thin” to be happy and to be successful because Sweetie, her brave, her bold, her beautiful daughter was “already doing it.”
Yes she was.
During prom, Ashish creates this little surprise for Sweetie where meets her on a rose pedaled track and he gives her these dog tags and on the back it said: Sassy Sweetie, to know her is to love her.
I LOVED THAT!!
To know Sweetie is to love her, every part of her.
I love every part of Sweetie too. Genuinely one of my most favorite characters. And I loved the word choice there because it meant that she was all around beautiful and worth getting to know no matter her weight or appearance. Ashish and Sweetie really do make such a great couple, obviously. 💜
The epilogue was beyond sweet. I loved how Ashish was there cheering her on for her track meet on the same day that he had his basketball game. I loved how Rishi and Dimple were both there and how Dimple and Sweetie were both joking about dating a Patel brother. It was super cute. I just love when past characters make cameos in book because it’s kind of like when you haven’t seen a good friend in a while and you see them and catch up with them; there’s something just ver uplifting and mood changing about seeing someone you love and know.
It was cute how Rishi gave Sweetie and Ashish his blessing and then there was a promise of a double date. I would love to have a novella of their double date excuse how cute would that be. I loved how the book need with, “Life can’t get any more perfect than this. But they were young, and it did.” It was just an honest to good way to end a book because they got their happily ever after and it touched on how it was young love and yet they had their whole lives ahead of them and even though this moment was perfect, life would continue to get better for them. It ends things on such a positive and hopeful note that things will look up for all of them in the future.
Truly a magical, heart-warming, all around life-chagnigng story.
Sandhya Menon really accomplished what she set out to do in creating this conversation about body positivity and what it means to be fat and to be proud of your body. It also really touched on the cultural aspect/expectations of Asian families that can seem confining and daunting, but that’s why we have stories like this to give us hope that we can change the narrative and cycle of making our sons and daughters feel like they aren’t good enough, to making them know they are.
If you read this book, what was your favorite part? Least favorite part? What was your favorite quote? How did this change your view of the word fat or body positivity in general? Let’s have a conversation about this below as I love hearing from you all💕
Can’t wait until Samir’s and Pinky’s story in 10 Things I Hate About Pinky coming out next summer
Whenever or wherever you’re reading this, I hope you have a bright and beautiful day!
And as always, with love,
Rating
5 Full Bloom Flowers, obviously
Characters: There truly is something about Sweetie that you absolutely fall in love with the minute you get to know her. Ashish’s pretty cool too 😉
Writing: Sandhya Menon makes you fall in love with writing.
Plot: Such a needed topic to touch on in this day and age with body positivity. It’s also such a conversation starter for how we need to be the ones to change the way we see others so others can see things in a better light as well.
Romance: Plenty of cutesy romance that is sweet.