The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han Book Review
“The thing is Susannah was right. It was a summer I’d never, ever forget. It was the summer everything began. It was the summer I turned pretty. Because for the firs time, I felt it. Pretty, I mean. Every summer up to this one, I believed it’d be different. Life would be different. And that summer it finally was. I was.”
(pg. 21)
About
Author: Jenny Han
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary Romance
Series: The Summer I Turned Pretty Book 1
Click to read other book reviews
Other TSITP Book Reviews
It’s Not Summer Without
You We’ll Always Have Summer
Synopsis
Belly measures her life in summers. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August. Winters are simply a time to count the weeks until the next summer, a place away from the beach house, away from Susannah, and most importantly, away from Jeremiah and Conrad. They are the boys that Belly has known since her very first summer–they have been her brother figures, her crushes, and everything in between. But one summer, one terrible and wonderful summer, the more everything changes, the more it all ends up just the way it should have been all along.
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To the summer lovers,
I read The Summer I Turned Pretty (TSITP) when I was probably when I was fifteen or sixteen—it was a long time ago—and I remember I enjoyed the series but I wasn’t obsessed with it. It had good summer vibes and I love Jenny Han, but I don’t know if it was because when I was fifteen or sixteen I wasn’t in a good place mentally, emotionally, and physically that I wasn’t really paying attention to the books because for the life of me I couldn’t remember what the heck happened in the series. All I remembered was a girl named Belly who fought over two cute boys. With TSITP series coming out on Amazon Prime this summer, I knew I wanted to reread TSITP to see what it was about again.
I have to say, I really really loved reading TSITP this time around 🧡.
I think it’s because it’s summer and I craved a summer read and this had all the summer vibes. I’m also in a much better place where I don’t feel like a storm cloud is hanging above my head, that I could really appreciate this story. I loved the lifetime friendship Belly had with the Fisher boys and between Laurel and Susannah. I also loved how this book captured the vibrant, infinite, and joy that is summer. I also loved the mystery and the heaviness because of how much love these characters have for each other. I also really enjoyed the authenticity in a teenage romance because when you’re sixteen or a young adult in general, I feel like that is when you feel every emotion tenfold because you are experiencing things for the first time. Every emotion, moment, and event is heightened in a beautiful or a messy way, but it is those moments that we remember for the rest of our lives and that change us. I appreciated how Belly was who she said she was—-a teenage girl who was in love and had always been in love with one person.
Conrad Fisher.
“It wasn’t really a compliment to be noticed by Conrad. It was a matter of fact.”
(pg. 57)
Conrad Fisher was Belly’s or Isabel Conklin’s first love.
I never grew up knowing a couple of boys who felt like brothers and who I could have developed those feelings for, but I could only imagine that if I had grown up with boys that felt like brothers where they were both so different but so sweet, I would have fallen in love with one of them too. I mean, how could she not. Conrad was the boy that had Belly’s heart because he was always kind to her and stood up for her when Jeremiah or Steven banded against Belly because she was the only girl at the house.
“I hated it being point out. I just wanted to be like them.”
(pg. 26)
At the summer house, it was always the mothers—-Susannah and Laurel and the three boys and Belly. Belly always felt like an outsider to Steven, Conrad, and Jeremiah because they were boys and they naturally clicked better than with her because she had different interests. However, all Belly wanted was to be included with them and to feel like one of the boys. I understood that because she didn’t have another girl to hang out with, so she wanted to hang out with them. But they always treated her like a child because she was younger than them and a girl. They teased her for it, and that made her feel hurt and like even more of an outcast. I understood that too because growing up whenever I would go to family events, my brother would hang out with the older cousins and I would want to hang out with them because they seemed to have more fun than the girls who were just talking, they would make me feel excluded from their laughter or card games. But I wanted to be included. I sympathized with Belly because people do treat you differently based on age and gender and especially if they see you in a different way. So didn’t blame Belly for having those flashbacks where she would tattletale or pout because it sucks to feel like the odd person out, and there’s nothing to do besides tell your parents about it in the hopes that they force the other people to hang out with her. She was just a kid—-it was natural.
(pg. 62)
I liked how we had backslashes in Belly’s mind because it helped (a lot 😅) in giving me context as to whey she always liked Conrad more. Because you know, he’s a jerk now, but I’ll get into that later. But it was in those flashbacks where I could see all these small, but pivotal moments in Belly’s mind that made her feel the butterflies of first love because he noticed her and treated her with kindness.
There was the fact that whenever the boys would gang up on Belly, they would laugh about it, but later Conrad would be the one to tell them to back off. He would defend Belly and protect her in some way, and that made her feel like he cared.
Then there was the story where he won her Junior Mint—her polar bear with the scarf. I mean, the means by which he won it for her was pretty crude way he went about it. One day Conrad invited Belly to go to the pier with him and Belly felt all special that out of all people, Conrad invited her. They were eating cotton candy and having a nice time, and then she noticed how Conrad looked at the girl who worked at the ringtoss. Belly noticed how pretty the girl was and how short her shorts were, but she also knew that Conrad didn’t take her to the pier to win her a stuffed animal—that it wasn’t a date—but he brought her to the pier as moral support to talk to this girl he did like and Steven and Jere would have teased him relentlessly for his crush. I felt awful when young Belly realized that Conrad didn’t like her that way and how she still helped him talk to that girl. He did win her the polar bear like she hoped he would, but the way the win happened wasn’t as romantic. Cute. But not really a good moment for her.
I also loved the backstory of when Conrad taught Belly how to dance. Susannah was playing CDs in the house and was dancing and Belly joined her. Susannah asked Conrad to dance with Belly, and the boy back then who loved and listened to his mom, didn’t argue when he got up to dance with Belly. I loved how he taught her how to dance and was very patient even if Belly was off rhythm and stepped on his toes. It was just such a cute moment because Conrad didn’t strike me as a dancer, but yet he knew how to dance and he would do it for his mom. I also liked how encouraging he was towards Belly to make her feel like she was getting it.
There was also the flashback when they were twelve and Belly said she knew she would love Conrad forever when Conrad woke up early on Father’s Day and cooked everyone breakfast. He didn’t cook good, but she loved him for the care he had to do something like that.
It was in all those backlash moments or the way Belly just knew Conrad that made me believe that he was a good guy and he had his moments. Belly knew that Conrad liked football and was good at it, he loved school/academics and was kind of a cute nerd, and he was organized. But the Conrad now was a WHOLE different person that it was hard for me to see why she liked him unless we had some context 😂
And here’s the thing, as someone who did this a lot growing up, I know where Belly was coming from 😅. When you have been treated like shiz from so many other people, and someone treats you right—gives you the right attention, the right respect, the right kindness—-you can’t help but like them or develop deeper feelings for them because they were the first person to treat you good. And that’s something I have been a sucker for. I mean, I have had multiple crushes where a guy treated me nice like he opened the door or he went out of his way to pull out my chair, and I was like, “Gosh, this guy is so cute!” And then in came the influx of a crush 😅. But I always knew that it wasn’t because I like liked this person, but I liked how he treated me. And sometimes I wouldn’t have even caught myself in my crush and I would feel these emotions for a person and then realize that the only reason I liked that person was because he was the first guy to notice me when no guy had noticed me—he made me feel seen and special. And when you’re not used to attention from someone, when someone does give you that attention, it feels like the only attention you will ever get, so you grasp onto it and convince yourself it is a crush. Or that’s how it felt like for me. Because to be honest, I don’t think in all my crushes that I have ever been in love. Not the way I have seen love described or portrayed, but I did really like the person. I liked the idea of the person and the idea that someone could notice me because I wasn’t the type of person people noticed. I just could really relate to Belly in my inner teenage self with how crushes are so monumental at sixteen and it feels like the world. And maybe she did love Conrad because she grew up with him and she genuinely just knew—you know the saying, if you know, you know—-but I feel like that is so rare and special to feel.
So some part of me got the sense that even if Belly loved Conrad her whole life, was it because he was the first person to treat her with kindness and make her feel special when she was young? Because if Jeremiah had treated her the same way a lot more when they were younger, would she have said that Jeremiah was her first love rather than Conrad? Jeremiah was kind to her growing up, but. I didn’t feel that he made her feel special or like they had a special connection until they were best friends.
“Jeremiah was nicer. Maybe because he was somebody’s little sibling too, or maybe just because he was that kind of person. He was nice to everybody. He had a talent for making people feel comfortable.”
(pg. 62)
When I say, I would CRY for Jeremiah, I would SOB 😂.
But I LOVE LOVE LOVE Jeremiah 🧡.
I am a Jeremiah girl through and through. No ands, ifs, and buts.
He’s just the sweetest human being with a kind heart that feels everything and he just gives good energy. I know there’s a part of him that feels like he has to bring levity to a situation by making everyone laugh—that he’s the peacemaker and jokester—but Jere has some depths that we start to see later in the book. But him taking on the role of making everyone happy is a testament for how much he feels and how much hope and joy he wants to share with others. I just really love Jere and how much positivity, radiance, and love he had to give. He’s just the best.
I loved the flashback moment where we saw them become best friends. It was the summer Belly was thirteen and the moms had been smoking pot because Susannah used it for her chemo, Susannah battled breast cancer and the boys were very aware of it, and my heart went to them because their mother battled a very serious and terrifying illness that it was hard not to be worried or scared about their mom. They loved her and didn’t want to lose her. Seeing her smoke pot and talk about how she would rather die than lose a breast, really got to Jere because no child wants to see their parent not be okay or to talk about passing away. Susannah started to cry after she said she would rather pass away than lose her breast, and Jere had to watch that—to see his mother speak so vulnerably and fearfully that I really wanted to hug him. In that moment, Belly squeezed his hand.
“He didn’t look at me, but he didn’t let go either. This was the moment we became true, real friends.”
(pg. 59)
I was really emotional reading this scene because with everything Jere and Conrad were going through with their mom, he needed someone to be there with him through the painful and fearful moments. Jere needed a friend, and Belly was that friend for him. They were best friends now. She understood what he was feeling—-the love, the sorrow, the ache, the pain—as her own and she bared those emotions with him, she took his hand and said I am here to bear it with you. And that is what a true, real friend does 🧡.
At dinner that night, Steven was teasing Jere for being moody or not like his usual self, and Conrad stood up for Jere by telling Steven to back off. Conrad knew what his brother was feeling and didn’t feel it was okay to tease Jere for the worry and melancholy he had. This was one of the moments I saw the special connection between Conrad and Jere as brothers and how they would fight and get under each other’s skin about different things, but when it came down to it—-the real important moments—they knew how each other felt and knew when to be a brother rather than a friend.
I loved how later that same night, Jere choose to hang out with Belly and the moms and that whole summer, they spent more time together collecting shells or sand crabs, riding their bikes, and eating ice cream. It was the summer they became best friends and he treated her with more kindness.
Jeremiah genuinely feels like he would be the best best friend ever 🧡.
I loved the backstory of when Taylor—Belly’s best friend came when she was fourteen—and they were playing chicken in the pool. Steven made a joke about heavy Belly would be to carry in the water, but Jere was all like, “You weigh, like, nothing” (pg. 76). He didn’t make her feel insecure about her weight like freaking Steven 🙄. I know Steven didn’t mean it and that it was typical brotherly goading, but making fun of a girl’s weight is never funny. Conrad was also Belly’s partner in the game when Jere switched out for Conrad. I liked how both boys were nice to her and didn’t make her feel weird.
That same summer, Belly also had her first kiss with Belly.
Typical kids they were, they played truth or dare and Taylor had a crush on Jeremiah because he was nice and more flirtatious (but he was flirty with everyone). Also, Conrad rejected her and was too broody for her liking. But Taylor dared Jere to kiss someone in the room, thinking it would have been her. However, Jere planted a kiss on Belly’s lips. I will say, I’m not for a first kiss being done through truth or dare because it doesn’t even feel like a real kiss. So I felt for Belly because it did feel like her first kiss was robbed from her and robbed from being a special moment with someone who actually liked her and wanted to kiss her. I think Jere shouldn’t have gone through with the dare, let alone kiss Belly. I think it was easier for him to kiss Belly because she was his best friend and he thought to her it wouldn’t mean anything, but it shook her. Also, Jere probably only kissed Belly to make her Taylor jealous. That was the only thing I didn’t agree with Jere with, but they were young and dumb. Also, the way that Conrad teased her about it later and said, “Oh, I notice everything, Belly. Even poor little you.” Darn right she said, “Screw him,” because what kind of demeaning comment was that 🙄.
I liked how Jere treated her throughout the entire summer now.
I loved how when they went to the movies and someone tall sat in front of Belly’s seat—honestly, the worst feeling—Jere was such a sweetheart and offered Belly to trade seats with him 🥺. He would rather tolerate sitting behind a tall person at a theater than Belly not being able to see. I also loved how they had a fun, cute moment where he bought Twizzlers to use as straws in their soda and they shared it. Conrad and Steven had bounced from the movie because it was boring, but Jere stayed and it really did feel like a date, and I wouldn’t have been mad if it was.
I also liked how he was the one who taught her how to drive. He was teaching her how to drive stick shift. I loved when he also took her to the Go Kart place to take her mind off the bonfire night and waiting around for Cameron to call. He saw how nervous and worried she was, and wanted to make her feel better. Later on in the book when things were complicated with her and Cameron, he also invited her to the country club pool where he lifeguarded. I liked how he invited her to take her mind off the things with cam and I liked how they had a nice, sweet conversation where he reassured that Belly had a good one with Cam and that Conrad was a dick 😂. Glad we all agreed on something. Just the way he picked up on her feelings and always knew what to say or do to make her feel better, made my heart swell 🥺🧡.
“Jeremiah was a good friend. He’d always been a good friend to me, watched out for me.”
(pg. 62)
He just never failed to treat her right or be kind to her.
That’s more than I can say for someone else 🤪.
“Susannah told me that when I was born, she knew I was destined for one of her boys. She said it was fate.”
(pg. 62)
So obviously, here in lies the dilemma . . . Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah?
Because again, if she grew up with both boys, it would make sense that she would develop strong feelings for both. That’s inevitable, but which one did she love more.
Obviously, I’m Team Belly first and foremost, but to be quite honest, I’m Team Jeremiah 😆🧡.
I mean, wasn’t it obvious when I said I LOVE LOVE LOVE him 😂?
I just have to say, get you a person who treats you nice, sweet, with respect, and kindness 👏🏼!!!!!
Don’t you DARE like someone who treats you like garbage and like you mean nothing to them just because you loved them when you were younger or you love some parts of them. Don’t make excuses about loving them when they aren’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated 👏🏼!!!
Don’t you DARE tolerate less than someone who treats you right.
I just have a bone to pick with eighteen-year-old Conrad.
I’ve been eighteen once and I was an emotional, developing wreck. Sixteen is the age where a person begins to feel like an adult with more freedom, even though being sixteen isn’t really an adult. But that person believes they are and they also begin to experience new things or crave those experiences. Eighteen is the age where a person is actually an adult and doesn’t know how to navigate what that means to them. That’s how I felt.
When I was eighteen, I graduated from high school and I was going to college that summer and it just felt like so many huge life changes—-one after the other—-that it’s difficult to process them all and to understand what this new freedom of being done with school, being able to vote now, and be independent means. It’s confusing because no one holds your hand as you become an adult and you have to figure it out on your own and that’s scary. Conrad was eighteen and maybe he felt a lot of that fear with his whole life opening up to him and being unsure what that meant and who he was anymore since he quit football and everything. But I also got the sense that he was lost and hurting from a lot.
He was keeping so many things inside that it reflected and translated as him being an awful, mean, broodish son of a shiz head. He now smoked and got drunk and did stupid things like get in petty fights because he was just looking for a fight. I mean, what was he doing? And I know he was going through a lot with his parents divorcing, having a hunch about what Susannah was going through, and his new feelings, but the way he treated everyone was not okay. All the things he went through was not an excuse for how he acted. But I understood why he was reacting the way he did—-he had all this pressure bottled up and it spewed everywhere and caused damage and hurt to his loved ones without him meaning to. I do feel like Conrad is a good person deep down based on the backstories and the way Belly and everyone sees him and knows who he is, but he didn’t give me a good impression of the person we met right now—when the book started. He gave me the impression that he was a dick and he didn’t give two hoots and a holler. I didn’t like him at all. I didn’t like that I didn’t like him because I knew he could have been so much better of a person but he wasn’t.
“Conrad was different. . . He had changed. And yet, the way he affected me was still the same.
(pg. 40)
If only he communicated how he felt or talked to someone, it would have made them understand and me understand why he was acting the way he did. But he didn’t talk about all that he was keeping in so it made him seem like he was just being an a** because he was an a**. What happened to the Conrad who would dance with Belly and win her stuffed animals? What happened to the guy who defended her? I didn’t know that guy, I only knew him in memory.
It was because so many things had changed and were changing, and it was a lot for him.
For one, the summer was different.
“For me, it was almost like winter never counted. Summer was what mattered. My whole life was measured in summers. Like I never really begin living until June, until I’m at that beach house.”
(pg. 5)
I loved this quote so much 🧡.
I love summers too because it was always a time away from school—the stress and dramas—to focus on doing things I loved with the people I loved. Summers are just magical and relaxing. I didn’t grow up having a beach house or the whole dock vibe thing where you go to a cabin and stay there. Summers were never a big deal for my family because my parents worked all summer, so I would go to my grandparents house where they would watch me and they’d cook meals and sometimes we’d walk around the mall and go to Fun Factory. I would read books, watch reruns on cable TV because that was the only form of television back then. I would also sometimes play hotel or these make believe games with my siblings. The older I got, summers were more about reading and rejuvenating from the stress and burn out of school. I believe having a cabin or a beach summer would have been beautiful and special, but not everyone has those summers and it’s okay whatever your summer looks like because it’s yours.
Summer’s are not meant to be perfect, but to be lived.
I loved how Belly and her family always had a place to go back to with the Cousins beach house and how it felt like a home to her. I also loved the family-friendship that the Conklin’s had with the Fisher’s because friendships like that don’t come everyday. Friendships like Laurel and Susannah/Beck’s didn’t come everyday. I absolutely adored their friendship and how they were there for each other and joked around. I loved how they also let loose at the summer house and let the kids do what they wanted because being at the summer house was their time away from everything to do what they wanted as well. I liked how Laurel and Susannah acted like young kids at the house because adults are just older kids and deserve to have some fun too.
We love to see an older friendship that lasted a lifetime 🧡.
Susannah was a big part of the house.
“Susannah was always calling us children, but the thing was, I didn’t even mind. Normally I would. But the way Susannah said it, it didn’t seem like a bad thing, not like we were small and babyish. Instead it sounded like we had our whole lives in front of us.”
(pg. 45)
Belly idolized her in a way she never viewed her mom—-in Belly’s eyes, Susannah was perfect and could do no wrong. They had a special bond where Susannah was the person who Belly always felt like she could confide in about boys or makeup because it never seemed like her mom was into those kinds of things. Susannah also made Belly feel beautiful, pretty.
When Belly came this summer—the summer she was sixteen—she grew up. She had boobs and contacts 😂—-the recipe for a glow up it seems.
When the boys saw her, they all expressed how she was different. Conrad knew she looked different and it bothered him deep down because I felt like that was the moment she wasn’t just Belly, she was Belly a girl he had always liked and now he knew he liked her in a different way.
Because he saw her in a different way.
“Everything was the same but not. They had looked at me like I was a real girl, not just somebody’s little sister.”
(pg. 9)
When I first read the title of the book all those years ago, my first reaction was the book was just about a girl who turned pretty and boys fight over her and how icky that made me feel that once you turn pretty, that’s when boys finally notice you.
But being older and hearing more about the intent behind the book from Jenny Han interviews, I have a newfound respect for the meaning behind TSITP.. Because yes, Belly was a young woman who turned “pretty”—-she was always pretty but no one saw it before—-but it was about a long woman who turned pretty and felt pretty. It’s about that age in a person’s life where they notice how they have changed and to believe that they are pretty and want to present themselves to the world as such. When you’re thirteen, you’re awkward as heck and there is no escaping that awkward phase—you feel awkward, you are awkward. It’s an age where you’re sweating too much, acne starts happening, and hormones go wild, and you might get your period. It’s a whole thing. But then you grow up. You grow out of that awkward stage, and that’s the age or the time you feel “pretty” and believe that because you went through that awkward stage to be where you are now. There is nothing wrong with looking at yourself and thinking, “Dang, I feel pretty.” It’s not conceited or narcissistic because we all do it and we all want to feel good about ourselves and like we are presenting our best self at that age, and even now. Belly felt pretty in her skin because she was out of the awkward phase and she was finding more confidence in how she presented herself to the world and how she saw herself.
Because she was growing up and transformed into someone she was proud of becoming, she should own that and feel pretty. But because she was more confident in herself, it translated to how she carried herself and part of the reason she was different—not just that she was physically different but her essence was different—and that shifted how everyone else saw her.
She wasn’t little Belly anymore, she was Belly a pretty young woman.
And that bothered Conrad deep down. Because he probably had only seen Belly as a little kid or a sister, but to see her as a young woman, in a new light, he wasn’t ready to see her like that and he didn’t know why his feelings shifted. He was uncomfortable because he was navigating his newfound emotions towards her.
I loved how they had the infamous belly flop tradition where every summer the boys ganged up on Belly and swung her into the pool. this summer was no different except that moment where Belly feigned hurting her ankle and she pulled Conrad into the pool. They had this weird moment that felt charged with something different—-Conrad’s news feelings.
With his new feelings and all his other feelings, he ultimately treated Belly like cr**.
I DETESTED the way he treated her.
Belly was old enough to go to this boardwalk party, so she went and that was where she met Cameron 🥺 from the Latin convention. I loved how Cam was such a sweetie in how he gave her his hoodie and he said he was a “straight edge.” He also studied whales, which was fun. Cam is just sooo funny and awkward and it’s adorable. He just gave me the vibe of not knowing how to talk to Belly but really wanting to.
When Conrad low-key saw Belly talking to Cameron, he got all jealous and was too overly protective when Belly said she was going to go with Cameron because he was going to drop her home. The way Conrad yelled at her and called her a kid and a brat was beyond me. That is his favorite line: “You’re such a kid.” 🙄 Come up with a new insult Conrad. She is a kid, but he was a kid too, and here he was at this party with this Red Sox Cap girl named Nicole and yet he was treating her like a kid. He was just being very controlling and rude to her for no reason but because he was jealous, drunk, and protective.
Don’t even get me started on how later on, Belly wanted to go to a party with Cameron and all the boys suddenly wanted to go to this party to probably embarrass her and make fun of her.
“‘What’s your name?’
Cam cleared his throat. ‘Cam. Cameron.’
Jeremiah said right into the mike, ‘Your name is Cam Cameron. Damn, that sucks, dude.'”
(pg.146)
The iconic moment 👌🏼😂.
Jere teased them by singing “Summer Lovin'” from Grease, and in his defense he was drunk and just joking around because he was uncomfortable with Belly dating someone and just used humor. Conrad though, started a fight. He was just looking for a fight because he was jealous about Belly going to the party with Cam. Belly tried to break up the fight, but honestly, I wondered what the heck was she going to do because it wasn’t like two guys looking for a fight were going to listen to her. But then Jere stepped in and when they glanced at Belly during their secret conversation, I knew Conrad wasn’t going to fight because he didn’t want to do that in front of Belly or that Belly had this way of bringing him back to earth. But he ruined her first party because of his jealousy and he had the audacity to act all sweet when he was drunk my touching her hair and seemingly wanting to say something important to her. But he was drunk and acting out anti wasn’t okay.
Then there was the time Conrad came home all angsty and was blasting his music, and joked around about knowing how to dance because he taught her how to dance. He seemed okay, if a bit high, that day. It was like he went from Jekyll and Hyde and it kept stringing her along and I was furious because he needed to make up his mind about who he wanted to be.
“He made it so hard not to love him. When he was sweet like this, I remembered why I did. Used to love him, I mean.
I remembered everything.”
(pg. 191)
Dude needed to stop stringing her along expecting Belly to like him and then when she didn’t’ like him anymore, he get angry and jealous and treat her nice one second to keep the bait on her and then when he had her, he switch to being an a** and pushing her away from her ☹️. Get over yourself. This whole back and forth thing was exhausting and made me exhausted for her. Not with it 🤪!
And not this whole conversation where he was looking for a fight with her by asking whey she was mad at him and that he cared that she was mad at him. Like dude, stop with this hot and cold thing. Belly was getting mixed signals and I felt awful for her because she loved him because he was her first love and would always see past his douchness. She deserved better. But when she told him to go smoke a cigarette and he said “Why don’t you go look at yourself in the mirror some more?” (pg. 199). I was like OOOOOOH, that was a low blow!!!! I mean, what she said was rude back, but he was the one who was stringing and dragging her along his emotional rollercoaster. But the fact that he was so blunt about basically implying she was conceited because she looked at herself more because she was pretty was a crude move. She didn’t deserve to feel guilty for feeling confident in who she was.
“I wondered if this was the way old crushes died, with a whimper, slowly, and then, just like that—gone.”
(pg. 200)
I did not feel sorry at all for the love that died between them after that conversation.
Because I was over all this wishy-washiness from him. If loved her or liked her, he wouldn’t treat her like cr** and he sure as heck wouldn’t go out of his way to constantly make her feel bad about herself or play all these games with her. If he liked her, he should have expressed that differently with kindness and actual like because the message I was getting was that he thought she was a child and was bothered by her and angry.
I will say, I felt awful for Belly because she loved Conrad and always would despite saying her crush was gone. It’s not a great day when you are shown a different side of someone you love and that they make you love them less for it. It’s also not a great day when you realize that they aren’t the person you thought they were and won’t be the person you hoped they would be—it’s disappointing. Also, first love is the strongest, most memorable emotion and for him to crush hers like that was a whole other level of why Conrad was not it.
He just wasn’t worth it for the way he treated her. I don’t care if he was sweet to her before because the person who he was now, was not okay.
UGH, and don’t even get me started on how he forgot to buy her a present for her sixteenth freaking birthday. I WAS LVIVID 😡!!!!!
What. A. JERK.
I was sooo upset.
And the AUDACITY he had to sit in that room as they opened presents and say he forgot to get her something and then walk out of the room with a monotone, “Happy Birthday” like her birthday didn’t matter?????? I WAS OVER IT 🤪. He can take his nonexistent present and shove it up his nonexistent personality because I didn’t see a good bone in his body. Someone needed to take whatever stick was up his butt and whack him on the head with it!!!!!
How dare he forget a present for her and then leave ☹️. What the heck? WHAT A LOSER. Out of everyone there, he was the one Belly cared the most about in terms of being there for her on her birthday because she loved him, heck, she had wished for this guy her whole life. But he acted like her birthday was nothing. Nothing. Nada. I was not okay with that at all.
Dang.
But this is why I am Team Jeremiah.
He got her a thoughtful gift!!! He got her a key for her charm bracelet 🥺🧡.
Susannah got her the charm bracelet for her eleventh birthday and it had all these other charms on it, and Jere wanted to get her a key because she was going to drive. HOW THOUGHTFUL AND SWEET.
STUPID CoNRad 😡.
I LOVE JERE!!
You know when you take the rad out of Conrad, all you are left with is con 😂.
He is a big con in my book and red flag.
You know who else treated her right?
Cam Cameron 👏🏼!
If there’s an underrated character, it’s Cam Cameron. I love this guy. What a nice guy.
What I loved most about him was how he noticed Belly way before she turned “pretty.”
“‘Do you know why I remembered you?’ he asked me suddenly . . . ‘It’s because I thought you were really pretty. Like, maybe the prettiest girl I’d ever seen.'”
(pg. 157)
He loved Belly for her glasses and braces all these years ago and saw the real her before all these other boys were on her. Cam loved Belly through her award stage and I loved that for her. He was just a great guy who was easy to like because he was so great. Jere teased him about kissing Belly with her non-vegetarian lips, but it was all in fun because Jere was partially jealous but also wanted to see how Cam would react. He took the joke in stride and was cute about it by kissing her in front of everyone, which was awkwardness at its finest for sure, but he was a nice guy. I thought it was also sweet how he always asked Belly if it was okay to kiss her because we love consensus. I mean,I know that second time he asked her in the car was weird and he should have just kissed her, but hey, I respected that he was a respectful boy and asked her if it was okay to kiss. I also liked how he never gave macho-ego vibes like Jere and Conrad even though it was clear Belly had something something with both brothers and he picked up on it. He just enjoyed his relationship with Belly because Belly was with him and kept being around him, so it was a good thing. Why-would-he-ruin-a-good-thing kind of attitude.
As much as Cam Cameron was a sweetheart, he wasn’t for Belly.
He didn’t give her sparks.
They were at the drive in movie date—so cute by the way—and there was this very awkward tension (as first dates usually had), but Belly wanted to feel more with Cam and wanted more to happen. However, the date was very cordial and nice. They did have a cute kiss at the end of their date where I thought Cam redeemed himself from the awkwardness. There was also that moment when Belly was at that dinner with everyone and then Cam told her to sit down and take it easy and everyone laughed like he was putting Belly in place. I didn’t like that part becuase I felt Cam just said that to Belly to make everyone think he was a man or something. They went down to the beach later that night and Belly was feeling the urge to do something wild to really get this spark going with Cam. She wanted to skinny dip and it seemed like Cam was down to do it until he over thought it and feared her mom would see them. Cam was just being reasonable and respectful, which I appreciated and sixteen year old boys don’t usually encompass those qualities, but sis, wanted him to let loose! She wanted a spark and he didn’t give that to her. And the fact that she walked back into the house after their argument and he didn’t go back and say anything was dumb. I thought he should have apologized to her for making her feel embarrassed instead of walking away that night like nothing happened. He did leave a message on a bottle that said he owed her a skinny dip, which was nice. But they should have talked about it. Cam missed his chance to create a spark with her because I think Belly really wanted to feel a spark so she didn’t feel what she still felt for Conrad.
I feel like not having sparks is he hardest part about dating—-when you date a really good person but you don’t feel sparks with them the way you want to, but feeling like you want to break up but you don’t know how to. It’s almost easier if a person was a jerk because then there is a reason to break up with them. But she had no sparks with Cam Cameron and I could tell Belly wasn’t excited to date him as she originally was, but didn’t know how to break it to him until they had that conversation. I mean, the real reason I did believe Belly dated Cam Cameron was because he was the first guy at that bonfire to give her attention in a kind way and here was this guy who noticed her before she was pretty and wanted to hang out with her. Of course, she was interested because a cute guy who noticed her was everything. I would feel the same back if I were her. I also felt like part of her dated Cam Cameron to prove to Conrad that she was over him when she wasn’t and to show that she was old enough to date—-a big middle finger to him. I mean, he did notice that she was dating. But then when the fun of being with Cam wore off, she thought of him more like a friend than a boyfriend.
I really did think they could have stayed friends after everything, but it sucked that she kind of ghosted him. I felt terrible for Cam 😅.
They talked about the future of their relationship after Belly and Cam tried to have a movie night and Conrad joined with Nicole/Red Fox Cap girl. Belly was bothered by Nicole, which Cam picked up on it as being Belly bothered by Conrad with Nicole. He knew that Belly liked Conrad and would never see him the same way she viewed Conrad. I wanted to hug Cam because for all his awkwardness and his respectable manner, he was at heart, a good guy. He deserved someone who would want to be with him and all of him. Not just be there with half of him and the other half belonging to someone else. I liked how Cam was upfront about wanting to know where their relationship stood. But when Belly hesitated with saying she wanted to keep in touch, I felt bad. Cam was just put in the middle. And she didn’t end up contacting him or anything.
I really would have liked to know what happened to Cam Cameron and if he got his happily ever after. I think Jenny Han should do a spin off series for Cam Cameron called Whale of a Summer 😂.
But he really was a good guy, just not the right guy.
*SIgh*
My Jelly heart really got to me when Jere confessed how he felt about Belly 🥺🧡!
After watching a movie with Laurel and Susannah, Jeremiah went back downstairs where Belly was cleaning up and alone. Belly started talking about how she might not being seeing Cam Cameron anymore, and then he told her that he liked her as more than just friends.
Belly really was living the life 😅!!!
Three cute dudes all pining after her!!!! She must have been real pretty.
When I was sixteen, I was going through the gutter 😂. I was real trash.
I digress, but the way Jere asked if she was over Conrad and she said I don’t know, broke my heart for Jere. He liked her and he saw the way that Conrad mistreated and hurt her and was hurt that she kept choosing him despite that. I agreed with Jere because Belly had a nice guy like her with Cam and then another nice guy like her with Jere and she chose the a**hat 😆???? I didn’t get it. I know Conrad was her first love, but Jere is such. good guy and he’s sweet, cares for her and would a 100000000000% treat her BETTER than Conrad ever would. *Alexa, play Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes*
Jeremiah would do it better.
That’s a fact.
It broke my heart how heartbroken he was because he laid his heart on his sleeve and was rejected. I understand what it’s like to be a younger sibling to an older sibling of the same sex. Jeremiah always felt like he was second to Conrad because he got everything.
“‘I’m not jealous. I just wish I could be as good as him.’ he said softly.”
(pg. 241)
That’s beyond tough.
When you naturally compare yourself to your older sibling and feel like you will never measure up or have what he/she/they have. I know that feeling all too well. It can make you start to dislike yourself and it can make you angry at your sibling because you don’t want to dislike them, but you dislike how you feel like you aren’t enough compared to them. Comparison is the thief of joy.
In that moment when Jeremiah confessed his feelings, we saw a vulnerable side to him. A less joyous side especially when he realized Belly would probably always look like Conrad hung the moon. Unrequited love is painful, especially at a young age when you want to feel love and accepted. I wanted to hug Jere 🥺. I liked seeing a more vulnerable and melancholy side to him because it showed he had depths and that he cared—-that he was capable of hurt. Not that I wanted our sweet Jere bear to be hurt, but it made him more human and made me sympathize with him more.
Young love can impact how you feel about love in the future.
Telling her how he felt changed their relationship because she now knew how he felt—their dynamic might change if they acknowledged that the conversation did happen. If they ignored the conversation, sure, they could continue to be best friends, but they would always know what was said between them.
At least Jere was honest about how he felt unlike his jerk of a brother Conrad 🙃.
I give Belly sooo much credit for being brave enough to confess to Conrad the next day that she loved him her whole life. The timing sucked because Jere just said he liked her as more than a friend and there she went telling his brother she liked him, but she was brave 😅.
THIS STUPID HEAD made me want to RAGE!!!! The way he casually said, “Well you shouldn’t. I’m not the one. Sorry” (pg. 244).
Ummmmmmm, excuse me??????
She basically confessed that she loved him her whole life and he was the one for her and all he had to say was that he’s not the one and he’s sorry? Sis, it’s not worth it!!!! He’s not worth it if that is his response to her romantic spiel. I would have thrown two birds in the air and said whatever because what the literal heck. And the way he told her she was such a kid still and that she’s crazy, I was furious, seething actually. He kept saying things to hurt her and I felt like it came from a place of not wanting to hear how she really did like him and for him to confront the feelings he also felt for her, so it was easier to come across as a jerk and hurt her so she stayed away. Like he was protecting her from himself, which you know, if that’s the way he would treat her, then yea, she should stay away. I was so confused because was he a good person or was he this a**hole he obviously was. I was so confused.
When Jere chewed him out for making Belly cry and that he needed to man up, I was screaming in support of Jere!! Yea, tell this guy to man up and stop being a dipwad! Their fight was coming from a mile away with Conrad just spoiling for a fight and Jere hating the way Conrad continued to hurt Belly when Conrad knew how much he liked her. And Jere also wanting to beat the daylights out of him for being the one Belly chose over and over again. It was coming for sure. If I was Jere, I would have wanted to bunch him too.
Susannah and Laurel broke up the fight and when she said, “You know, don’t you?” (pg. 250), it made even more sense to his shizzy attitude.
I mean, he was carrying the weight of knowing his mother was sick again and he didn’t tell anyone he knew because he didn’t know who to talk to and he didn’t want to make it real by acknowledging it. So he kept it inside the waY Conrad always kept things inside. So his summer of anger and bad decisions stemmed from Belly changing, his parents divorcing, and his mom being sick again. He had the intuition; he just knew.
I knew too 😔.
It was in the way that Susannah kept sleeping early like she was tired and how Laurel and her would go “shopping” all the time at weird hours of the day. They were really going to Susannah’s doctor’s appointments. It was also the way that Susannah smoked pot again with Laurel and acted like it was nothing, but I think that’s when Conrad knew because of how Susannah smoked pot in the past for her chemo. He knew that she was only smoking because she was sick again. It was also in the way Susannah and Laurel having that argument about Susannah being a big girl now and knowing how to live her life. Susannah didn’t want Laurel to control what she did and didn’t do because she didn’t want to tell the boys yet. She wanted one last perfect summer.
“Susannah wanted it to be some kind of perfect summer, where the parents were still together and everything was the way it had always been.”
(pg. 213)
I understood why Susannah wanted to gift all of them one last perfect summer before things changed monumentally—she wanted things to be as normal as it could be. But Conrad knew and that effected him the whole summer because it wasn’t a normal summer. It was the summer everything was changing.
When Belly and Jere find out that Susannah was sick again, the whole tone of the book flipped from bight and sunny to a cloudy, rainy day.
I was in a sea of tears because I honestly didn’t remember this book being so heavy 😭. I picked up on the hints early on and I felt like we were working up to a confession at the end, but I wasn’t prepared for the influx of emotion because of how much I had grown to also love and admire Susannah and the way she loved Belly like a daughter. I also wasn’t prepared to cry so hard when Jere and Belly were crying together on her bed and they held each other—-that at that moment all was forgotten because they were two best friends being their for each other and hurting over their shared love of Susannah.
I was a mess. I loved their friendship.
It also hurt to see Jere cry knowing how he was the bubbly one and now he was balling his eyes out because of his big caring heart that was obviously hurting.
The next morning, Conrad really had to be the jerk on top of bad news with his whole attitude and being drunk. Honestly, I don’t get why she loved him either 🙈.
“She said, still in her light voice, ‘You’ll look after him, won’t you?’
‘Who?’
I could feel her cheeks form into a smile. ‘You know who.’
‘Yes,’ I whispered, still holding on tight.
‘Good,’ she said, sighing. ‘He needs you.’
I didn’t ask who ‘he’ was. I din’ need to.
‘Susannah?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Promise me something?’
‘Anything.’
‘Promise me you’ll never leave.’
‘I promise,’ she said without hesitation.”
(pg. 259)
Belly was trying to be strong for Susannah because she loved her, and we all know Susannah meant Conrad. But who would look after Jere? And honestly, Conrad might have his moments but he could look after himself after this book because I was done with his attitude 😂. I get it, he was a dumb eighteen year old in pain and hurt, but it doesn’t excuse his actions.
But not the way Susannah promised that she wouldn’t leave . . . 😭 knowing she would.
I can’t.
After Susannah’s news, I liked how everything was out in the open and it made everyone feel less tense, but more on guard with not knowing what was to come. I liked how they sat at dinner that last night Susannah was honest about what treatments she was going and what she wanted so everyone knew what might happen. I also liked Susannah could joke about herself and everyone tried to find humor in the situation or levity. But this kind of situation wasn’t too be taken lightly, but for Susannah they would. The mood definitely felt more somber and uncertain, which was such a contrast to the light-airynes of the rest of the summer and the story.
At the end, Belly did her late night swim as she always does and Jere and Conrad joined them. In my eyes, I’m assuming that they all tried to forget or push aside how Jere confessed how he loved her as more than a friend and how Belly told Conrad she loved him too. They pushed those emotions aside to focus on their love for Susannah. But gosh, I wanted to know what they were thinking or what future conversations they would have because there was tension now between them all. I wanted to see Conrad and Jere talk it out because they are brothers and I would hope that them having feelings for Belly wouldn’t change the fact they were brothers. However, there was that tension there, again, because Conrad did have feelings for Belly and couldn’t acknowledge it the same way Jere did. I also wanted to know where Jere and Belly stood because was she still his friend? Was she going to go for Team Jelly? Would she not go for Conrad and finally let that a**hat go? Or was she still going to pin for Conrad?
What was Conrad going to do? Was he going to act on her confession or ignore it?
She had two guys who liked her and they didn’t really talk about it and acknowledge what was there. They just sang a poem and sang around her in the pool 🤪.
I really wanted to know.
Everything changed between them for sure.
“‘This might be our last summer here,’ I said suddenly.
‘No way,’ Jeremiah said, floating up next to me.
. . . Conrad shook his head. ‘It doesn’t’ matter. We’ll always come back.’
Briefly I wondered if he meant just him and Jeremiah, and then he said, ‘All of us.'”
(pg. 273)
You know when Conrad’s not being an a**, he sounds decent. But he’s still a jerk in my eyes 🤪.
I liked that there was possibility of more summers, because with Susannah sick I wondered what that meant for the future summers at Cousins. I hoped they would go back because the beach house was their second home and the Fisher’s were their second family.
I didn’t talk much about Belly’s mom, Laurel, but I also liked the complex mother-daughter relationship. Belly admired Susannah more and it felt like Belly wanted Susannah as her mom instead. I think Belly also just harbored a lot of hurt and anger for her mom knowing that her mom was the one who wanted the divorce with the dad and how the mom didn’t even seem torn up about it.
“I just wasn’t sure if she fell out of love or if It was just that she never was. In love, I mean.”
(pg. 51)
I understood that.
It’s hard when you feel like your parents were perfect together and all of sudden they divorce or break up and it feels like love is a lie. How can love go from being something they both felt to nothing at all? Was it real kind a thing?
Belly wanted her mom to feel something or to emote because it never seemed like the mom loved anyone or cared because she wasn’t sad about being divorced. There was also the solo trips Belly sounded angry about. The mom would take solo trips to different countries and leave Belly and Steven. The mom deserved her solo trips because she is a grown woman and should take time for herself, I don’t think her going by herself was ever intended to make Belly or Steven feel unloved or uncared for. She just needed her her time, and I think Belly didn’t understand that at her age. Because Laurel was older and a mom, I could only imagine how busy she was and how much she gave up to make other people happy that these trips were for her. She wanted to still live and do things as an independent woman and that didn’t negate the fact that she also loved her kids. I just didn’t think Belly could see it at the time. Belly also blamed her mom for the divorce and ruining being a whole family and having to adjust to seeing her dad at his weird apartment. I got the sense Belly wanted things to be how they used to be, which I understand. When my parents divorced, it was expected and unexpected and it was difficult because I had to move houses and adjust to a new family dynamic. It took me years to process and be comfortable in that dynamic because it’s hard. It’s hard when you’re growing up and you also are changing situations from what you thought was a stable situation to a new situation that is filled with uncertainty. It’s also uncomfortable to remember all that was and think about all the things that you will never be after a divorce—or from a kid whose parents divorced, that’s what it felt like.
But Laurel did love Belly in all these small ways by knowing who she was, reading her, picking up on what she liked and disliked. I loved how Belly thought Susannah bought this expensive dress Belly liked all these years ago. Belly was so convinced Susannah had bought it because it was expensive and it was something Susannah would do, but her mom actually went back and bought it for Belly. Belly and her family weren’t as rich and Susannah’s, so it meant a lot that the mom went back to buy Belly something she knew he daughter wanted and would love. They loved in the little moments, and that is one of the best forms of love 🧡. I would like to explore their relationship more in the next books with talking about how Belly felt about the divorce or at least Belly and her mom opening up more to trust each other and be in each other’s lives.
I also didn’t talk about Belly’s friendship with Taylor.
What a complex friendship dynamic where it felt like Belly was tired of being Taylor’s passenger seat gal or someone who just went along with whatever Taylor wanted. They had been best friends Belly’s whole life, but there was some bitterness underneath the older they got. It started when Belly invited Taylor to the summer house in Cousins when they were fourteen where Taylor had that crush on Conrad and then Jeremiah and how Belly didn’t care who Taylor liked because she knew that she didn’t like that Taylor liked her summer boys. That’s rough because I know that Belly was excited for her best friend to spend summer with her, but also I know what it’s like to have this world that you keep purely for yourself and not wanting to share that with someone. It didn’t hit Belly that she was opening up her summer boy world with Taylor when she invited her until it did and Taylor was already there. There’s just somethings that people like to keep to themselves—that we have all these groups and worlds that we become a part of and it’s okay to keep what we want to ourselves. Belly grew to resent Taylor for liking her summer boys and for putting them before her that summer—-Taylor hung out with the boys so much that Belly didn’t think she existed.
There’s also the fact that Taylor sneakily made out with her brother on the beach. Yea, kissing the brother was not it, but I think it hurt Belly to know that Taylor broke her promise in being nice to Jere. I did agree with what Taylor said about how Belly talked nonstop about Conrad to notice how she liked Steven this whole time because based on how much Belly did talk about Conrad, heck, even thought about him, it didn’t surprise me. I do think Belly could have been a better friend to listen to her other friends talk about their lives. When Belly called Taylor a slut though . . . I shook my head. I don’t care if Taylor made out with her brother or what, you never slut shame another person 😣. They didn’t really talk about what happened but they were friends again and Steven acted like kissing Taylor didn’t happen.
I think they should have talked it out because there was still anger there that Taylor kissed her brother. I don’t know, they just never talked about their issues and acted like it never happened. I don’t know if that’s a sixteen year old thing, but even then I think when I was sixteen I talked about things with my friends if there was something to talk about. It just saves the relationship from all the anger in the future. They just needed to talk to each other like actual best friends because it felt there was more fear between them than actual friendship.
Overall, I loved TSITP because there were so many complex relationships that had me angry, sad, and curious. But above all, I loved how the book balanced lightheartedness with the darkness that life can bring. I also really loved being inside Belly’s mind because we’ve all been sixteen and know what it’s like to love someone so strongly that we don’t think they would ever do wrong or make excuses when they do do wrong. She’s just a teenager who was coming into herself and finding love for herself in these shifting relationships. I do believe there comes a point where someone’s changes and the relationships around you change as well and it’s uncomfortable and difficult to navigate those relationships especially going from a place of being a kid and being a teenager with more freedom whether that is independence or love. I also loved how all the characters had different depths and we got a taste of them that I hope we can continue to explore in the future.
Now, it’s time to watch TSITP season one. Honesty, when I’m writing this I already watched it all 😂. I have to say the show was INCREDIBLE 👌🏼🧡. Such a good time. I have a blog post about the show coming, and I’ll link it below. But sooo good!
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? What did you think of the book?
Which team are you on: Conrad or Jeremiah?
Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
4.56 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Belly is a teenager everyone can relate to with navigating what it means to grow up and come into yourself and how that changes the relationships in your life. I also loved the Fisher boys because they both had different personalities that were fun to explore and understand. Also, let’s go Cam Cameron!
Plot: If summer, love, and teenage self-discovery can be encapsulated in a book, TSITP would be it 😊
Writing: Jenny Han has a way of capturing a feeling and a time in a person’s life like you just lived and breathed it 🧡. I mean, I wish I knew a Jeremiah and Conrad (maybe not a Conrad) when I was Belly’s age.
Romance: Conrad can go sit and brood in the corner Jeremiah treated her right and I am a Jeremiah and Cam Cameron stan!!