The Lucky List by Rachael Lippincott Book Review

“‘Lucky?’ Blake asks, and the word feels electric.

It’s the word my mom would use.

‘Yeah,’ I say nodding, the word feeling right for the first time in a long time, not a burden or a lie anymore. A feeling I thought had completely run out. A feeling I thought I would never get back. ‘Lucky.’

‘That makes it more than a bucket list, then. It’s a lucky list,’ Blake says, and I can’t help but like the sound of it.”

(pg. 196)

About

Author: Rachael Lippincott

Genre: YA Contemporary Romance

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Synopsis

Emily and her mum were always lucky.

But Emily’s mum’s luck ran out three years ago when she succumbed to cancer, and nothing has felt right since.

Now, the summer before her senior year, things are worse than ever – Emily has wrecked things with her boyfriend, Matt, and her dad is selling the house she grew up in and giving her mum’s belongings away. The only person she has to talk to is Blake, a girl she barely knows since she and her dad moved back to town five seconds ago.

But that’s when Emily finds the list – her mum’s senior year summer bucket list – buried in the back of her closet. When Blake suggests that Emily take it on as a challenge, the two set off on a journey to tick each box and help Emily face her fears over losing her connection to her mum. As she starts to feel closer to her mother, so too does Emily’s bond with Blake deepen into something she wasn’t expecting.

And suddenly Emily must face another fear: accepting the secret part of herself she never got a chance to share with the person who knew her best.

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To those who felt like they lost their luck,

I just want to shout out Rachael Lippincott who released her first independent novel 🧡! Go you!

I also just want to say on brand the cover was. . . I mean, such a beautifully aesthetic cover with FLOWERS. Oh, yea, when I meant on brand I meant for me 🤪. I’m joking! The cover fit the story so well 👌🏼.

Rachael Lippincott sure did capture the pain that comes with losing a loved one. I felt it in every word she wrote and the little actions we see Emily go on as she navigates her path towards healing. The book had a somber but light-hearted feel to it that reflected loss with a spring of hope. I thought the mood was perfect for the story.

Emily lost her mother three years ago when the mom was battling cancer. I just wanted to hug her and her family.

Emily’s mom sounded like such a wise, kind, and beautiful woman. She believed in luck and adventures. Luck was her and Emily’s favorite thing. I liked that they had that connection. But when Emily’s mom got diagnosed, it felt like all their good luck turned to bad and it just felt like things got worse for Emily until they were.

When we met Emily, she seemed fragile and tentative. I could tell she was still hurt. Everything she did reminded her of her mother.

“It’s impossible, though. To not make everything feel like a memory.”

(pg. 40)

It is hard. Extremely hard when you lose someone and you go to all these places or see all these people or have all these objects that remind you of that person. You can’t help but think of the happy memories you had with that loved one at a certain place. I understood why Emily couldn’t go to the places she went to before with her mom because it felt weird and almost wrong to go there again without her. It was why Nina’s Bakery was the only place she felt comfortable going—the bakery existed after her mom. It was also difficult for Emily to move on whenever she would see people who knew her mom. I think it didn’t help that so many people just kept telling Emily she looked like her mom. I know they probably didn’t mean it in a rude way, but it was kind of insensitive to say to her because she just lost her mom, she doesn’t need to be reminded every time she looks in a mirror that her mom was gone. Also, I felt for Emily because she was going through so many life changes. In the span of three years she lost her mom, she was losing her best friend, she was questioning her sexuality, and now she was moving.

Moving really was the icing on top of her crumbling cake.

I mean, gosh. Give the girl a break! She needed stability in her life. It wasn’t helping that she now had to say goodbye to the only thing that was sort of left in her life that was sacred to her mom and their family. I felt it was also very rushed to ask Emily to be the one to go through the mom’s things and decide what to give away and what not to. I could feel Emily wanting to keep everything of her mom’s because it was how she felt connected to her. I get it. I think Emily should have been allowed to keep some of her mom’s things so she at least had a few belongings she could hold or have when she needed to feel comforted. I don’t think it was fair of the dad to place so much on Emily without letting her talk about it or making Emily feel like the mom passing away and them moving wasn’t a big deal. Yes, I understand moving could help her and the dad move on and to let go of the memories or sorrow from their old house. I also understand it was healthy that Emily and the dad did let go of some of the mom’s possessions, but getting rid of things doesn’t have to be every single thing.

I felt the move would have been easier for Emily if the dad talked to her. It just felt like the dad skeet skeet and skirted around anything and everything to do with the mom and that wasn’t helping Emily move on. It made her feel even more alone because she didn’t think the dad felt as lost or sad as her. I think maybe the dad felt like not talking about the mom would make things easier because he wouldn’t be bringing up the past or touching on a fresh scar. But he should have expressed something to Emily. I mean, he can act like a strong father figure and also communicate whenever Emily gave him a hint that she wanted to. The guy couldn’t take a hint 🤪. Emily was literally fishing for him to talk to her because she wanted the mom’s memory to live on, but the dad would close up or swerve around her questions like they didn’t matter. Not talking about the mom also probably made Emily feel like they were forgetting about her, and that was the last thing she wanted.

Emily was a junior in high school, going on senior. That’s a very transformative and complex time in a person’s life and she couldn’t move on because she didn’t have peace. She had pieces of her mom that no one talked about or were just easily getting rid of. It felt like she was losing her mom all over again and no one cared.

“There’s a part of me that can’t let clothes just be clothes and can’t let a house just be a house . . . and this feeling like I’m losing her all over again.

Just differently this time.”

(pg. 42)

So when Emily found the summer bucket list, she grasped onto it because she wanted to feel connected to her mom. I couldn’t blame her.

“In the midst of winter, I find there was, within me, an invincible summer.”

(pg. 96)

When I read this quote, I was like, “How profound.”

The quote felt fitting for the journey Emily was about to embark on. Emily was in this season of winter—this dark, cold, desolation—and this summer she was going to rediscover and reconnect with her inner strength and find that light within her again after all these years. When I think of this quote, I also think of the sentiment for a season for a reason in how sometimes people say a person goes through something or knows someone for a season for a reason—that certain things happen or certain people enter your life for a period of time for a lesson or for growth. I felt like this quote represented the for-a-season-for-a-reason sentiment well.

I also knew Emily represented winter and Blake represented summer.

I must say, I found it freaking hilarious how Blake was named Blake and had sunshine gold hair and a jovial and exuberant personality. Reminds me of someone else I know . . . Blake Lively 😆. I don’t know Blake Lively personally, but I have watched Gossip Girl and other projects she was in. Blake Lively is a beautiful sunshine and I felt like that was the energy I was channeling for book Blake.

I could tell that Emily like liked Blake from the minute Blake sat down next to her at bingo. I don’t know if I’m out of the loop or where I’m from we just don’t do this—but I didn’t know people still played bingo 🙈. There’s nothing wrong with bingo or those who play it, I’m just surprised that people still play bingo these days given how most people entertain themselves with their phone, books, shows, movies, or other things. I never really hear about bingo anymore, especially with younger folks. But hey, I loved bingo growing up! It’s like gambling but legal 🤪.

But the way Emily’s heart would speed up and how she would get all nervous around Blake was a tell-tale sign that Emily had deeper feelings for Blake. I also could tell by how much Emily would notice things about Blake. When a person starts to pick up all these little details or idiosyncrasies about a person, it’s most likely because they have a crush on the person in some way. Emily wasn’t sure what those feelings were exactly, and that was okay. It was exciting and interesting to see Emily discover her sexuality and the conflicting emotions that came with it. Most times when I read LGBTQIA+ books, the main character already knows who they are but the story follows how they navigate who they are and find acceptance in the world. So it was interesting to see Emily navigate these new emotions she pushed down for years. When Emily’s mom was diagnosed, Emily was at a camp with her friend Kiera–the one year she chose to go. Emily grew a crush on a girl there and it was fresh feelings for her—new feelings she wasn’t sure she understood, but also kind of did. But when she returned from her camping trip and the mom told her about her diagnosis, everything changed for Emily. She shoved down those fluttering emotions she felt for the girl at camp to focus on her mom. I understood that.

The hard part about Emily shoving down her feelings was because she felt like she had to. When her mom was in the hospital, Emily’s long-term on-and-off again boyfriend, Matt, would come visit her and the mom with flowers. The mom loved Matt. He was a sweet boy. If I’m being honest, I really liked Matt. He sounded like a sweet boy with a good head on his shoulders who respected Emily and wasn’t a bitter-mean ex like he could have been after he found out that Emily kissed some random guy at junior prom because she wasn’t ready to take the next steps with Matt. She knew she didn’t like Matt that way and she didn’t want to sleep with him as much as he wanted to with her. Matt wanted to sleep with her because he loved her, but also because he knew there was something off in their relationship that he thought taking things to the next level would somehow rekindle their spark. I mean, ooooookay. I get it. But sleeping with someone to fix something is not the solution 😅. They needed to talk it out or something. But I understood why Emily kissed some rando. She didn’t want to hurt Matty, but in the great words of Taylor Swift “I wanted to leave him/I needed a reason.” She needed a reason to get Matt to not like her so she could possibly leave a relationship that wasn’t right for her for a long time now. But it felt like she couldn’t get out of the relationship because she was still figuring out who she loved and she wasn’t ready to talk about it to anyone yet, which was perfectly fine. So she did what she had to do to give Matt a reason. I think sometimes people do things like that because they think it’s the only way out of an uncomfortable situation and I don’t fault a person for needing a reason, but I also feel for the other person knowing that it will hurt. I’m not condoning cheating by any means, I just understand why. I mean, don’t cheat to hurt others—be honest with them or say something like let’s have a break again or something and then come back when you have something to say or just call the relationship off. I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m rambling. But I guess what I’m saying was I understood Emily.

So not all her friends hated her because she broke Matt’s heart. She didn’t mean to. She just didn’t know what to do.

Matt wasn’t right for her.

Her mom literally told her to give Matt a try because he was a good boy. The mom didn’t know Emily didn’t like boys all that much when the mom said that, so I don’t blame her. But because the mom passed away, Emily felt like she needed to be with Matt—give him a try—because that was what the mom would have wanted. I could feel like that was the main point of contention with wanting to break it off with Matt and not wanting to. I think Matt felt like another piece of her mom that she wanted to hold onto because it was one of the last emblems of motherly advice from the mom. But like everyone else was saying, the mom probably would have wanted Emily to be happy. The mom only knew Emily was happy with Matty, so that’s why she said it. But I believe the mom would have said to follow her heart and Emily’s heart was with Blake.

I liked how Blake encouraged and supported Emily to do the list. Blake was her right hand gal.

I loved how they took a metaphorical leap of faith together off a cliff.

For the life of me, I couldn’t stop cackling at how casual they talked about jumping off a cliff 😂. I know they meant jumping off a cliff into water, but I was just imagining them jumping off a literal cliff and how sometimes people say, “If someone asks you to jump off a cliff/building, would you do it?” You know the saying where people are trying to prove a point that you don’t just do what other people want you to do. I also thought of that Between the Lions guy who would climb mountains–Cliff.

Anyways, I was laughing at the thought. But I liked how Emily learned to let go.

“I feel exhilarated, though. Like my body’s been asleep and I just woke it the [heck] up. Like I haven’t even used it properly and it wants me to, long-dormant adrenaline coursing through my veins, making me feel like I can conquer just about anything.”

(pg. 144)

I loved that.

It felt like Emily needed to take a leap of faith and let go.

Especially with these newfound fears and anxieties she had.

I liked the thoughts or conversations we had with Emily about how much she was feeling. She was worried that something bad would happen to her and that it would leave her dad alone. She didn’t want her dad to be alone. Emily’s worries and fear emphasized how much she loved her dad and worried about him as much as he probably did her. I could understand how Emily felt. I grew up with my dad and siblings and when both my siblings went away for college it was just my dad and I. I was always worried about him because he was the only person who was at home now and he doesn’t really have a lot of friends either. I still worry about him because both my siblings seem to be moving on and they don’t really talk to my dad all that much, so it feels like I’m his only friend. I don’t want my dad to be alone either. I worry.

Worry comes from a place of care and love.

I know Emily’s heart was in the right place. It’s hard not to worry. But her worrying about every single thing stopped her from living her life.

‘Don’t think! At all!’ She called back. . . ‘Trust me, if you just go, everything will be fine. The overthinking is what will hurt you.'”

(pg. 141)

Gosh, did I feel that part about overthinking.

I overthink to a fault. And it does hurt me more when I overthink all these worst case-scenarios because we never know the what-if. I think about the quote about how if you worry about something now that you shouldn’t worry about, you’re putting yourself through the worry twice. I always repeat that quote to myself when I know there’s a situation coming up that I feel scared about. I remember not to worry about it then because I don’t want to put myself through twice the worry. I had to teach a lesson for one of my classes, and I knew it was coming up in a few weeks. I didn’t worry in the moment, but worried the day before. Not a heavy amount of worry, but still scared. I think we just have to trust that things will be okay even if we worry—-to let go because we don’t know what will happen if we don’t try. If we run away or run back from something because of that fear.

Before her mom passed away, Emily was adventurous, outgoing, and a bit more brave. But after the mom passed away, Emily understandably changed as a person. She retreated into her grief to heal, which was again, perfectly understandable. Grief can change people. I was upset whenever people would bring up how Emily used to be and compare her to the Emily she was now.

Every part of me believes that it’s not right for people to want or expect you to be the person you were in the past.

That’s not fair of them to place those expectations on you and it’s not fair of them to make you feel like you have to be a person you aren’t anymore. If someone loves you, they will love you for you—the past, present, and future. They will not ask you to be someone you were just because they think it’s a “better” version of yourself. It’s like asking someone to fit into a smaller shoe size.

No matter how hard you try, you can never truly be the person you were in the past. Been there, tried that. It doesn’t work that way most times. We grow and evolve and change in different ways. Emily had grown in different ways and has it made her more cautious and demure? Yes. But that’s not a bad thing. She was still healing. She was going through some very tough things that other people didn’t go through and they needed to cut her a break, making her feel guilty or wrong that she wasn’t this person she was. I’m sorry, her friends could go talk to Emily when they go through something difficult and life-altering and see how they feel ☹️.

The only person who gave her grace and never judged her was Blake.

I loved how they went apple stealing together and slept on the bed of a truck under the stars because how romantic. To be honest, I felt like the lucky list itself reminded me a lot of the list from Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson. It’s been a while since I read SYBG, but I remember something about apple picking, kissing, and maybe a picnic as well. I got a lot of SYBG vibes 👌🏼.

“The most unexpected places and people can turn into the greatest adventure.”

(pg. 195)

I loved the whole eating a spam musubi because gosh knows I grew up eating those! People either love spam or they have a strong dislike for it. I’m the former. I don’t eat a lot of it now because I find the taste a bit too salty for me now, but gosh, I would eat musubi’s all the time 🧡. I also loved when they went skinny-dipping in the pool and Matt caught them. I found it funny how he just laughed instead of getting all rule-bent on them. That was pretty cool of her. I kind of don’t understand how Emily couldn’t find a four-leaf clover at the picnic when Blake found some easily. You would think she would find some clovers! I had a hunch though that Emily would find the clovers at just the right moment in time.

But the one thing from the list I loved the most was when Emily got the tattoo. That was such a special moment 🥺.

Emily got a sunflower because it represented the sunflowers the mom planted outside their house. Having a sunflower tattoo was Emily’s way of keeping her mom with her wherever she was. It was also her way to memorize the mom and the house she grew up in. I loved Big Eddie, he was a cool dude! It’s always sweet to see someone who looks burly and scary, actually be a teddy-bear on the inside. I had a teacher like that in high school and he was the coolest 👌🏼.

“It’s a part of her. A part of me. A part of us that can never be taken away. No matter where I go, I’ll always have this.”

(pg. 210)

While she was doing this list, I really didn’t appreciate how Kiera was very condescending towards Emily. Her comments or her utter disbelief was very rude because it made Emily feel like even her best friend didn’t believe she could do the things on the list. I mean, what kind of friend was that 😕. I thought Kiera was being very passive aggressive. I know Kiera didn’t mean to, but she kept forcing these ideas on Emily without truly asking her what she wanted. Kiera just thought that if Emily got Matt back, their senior year would go the way she wanted it to and things would go back to how they used to. But that’s not what Emily wanted nor how she felt. And if there’s anything to be learned, we can’t go back and change things and expect for things to be exactly the same. It’s like putting together a broken mug. You can glue back the pieces, but there will still be bits and pieces that don’t completely make the mug whole.

The list was not going to “fix” Emily and it made me sad that she thought it would. It wasn’t. The list was for her to try new things and let go—to have this invincible summer. Not a repeat of the past.

The part that really got me was the whole lake trip. Gosh.

When Blake professed her love for Emily, I was like LET’S GOOOOO 👏🏼!

When Emily FREAKING kissed Matt, I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ☹️!!!!! Wrong move !!!!!!

Blake literally gave Emily a choice to choose her or her past—Matt—and feeling like the list would “fix things” and be what her mom wanted, Emily kissed Matt because it was safer for her. But gosh did she break Blake’s heart. I felt broken for Blake. Sis did her dirty 😢.

My heart ripped when Emily got back to their cabin and Blake ignored her. Blake continued to ignore her and told Emily not to talk to her, which I could understand. Emily really said I don’t choose you with that kiss. Blake must have felt embarrassed too because she just laid her heart out to Emily and Emily rejected her. I loved how Rachael Lippincott wrote the fall out scene with a metaphor of a torn list. Writing gold 👌🏼.

“I watch her leave, my unlucky heart ripping like a sheet of paper, a list being torn apart.”

(pg. 256)

I thought the fallout part was over, but it got worse when Emily returned home and the dad took her to their new, tiny house and the closet with all the mom’s belongings were gone. GOSH that must have felt like a punch through the heart 😢. I wanted to hug Emily. First, she kissed a guy she didn’t even want to kiss. Second, the girl she liked wasn’t talking to her and probably was furious with her. Third, she just got hit with a whammy of being in an unfamiliar house that was so not her speed and went against everything her mom would have liked. Fourth, her mom was gone from their old house—poof gone 💨. When Emily rode her bike to GoodWill in a frenzy, my heart felt for her. I could feel the need and rabid want of her to hold onto her mom and to have something of hers. I thought the feeling of utter desperation and sorrow was portrayed well. I loved the contrast with the rain and how the dad picked her up.

Eventually, her and the dad had a conversation about the mom. The dad took out this box of momentos and letters the mom had. I liked that the dad talked to her because it kept her memory alive. That’s all Emily wanted. I would have liked a more in-depth/deeper conversation between the dad and her and why he didn’t talk to Emily about the mom beforehand or what he was feeling. Because this couldn’t have been easy for the dad either and I wanted to feel his very real and hurt emotions as well. He didn’t need to be strong all the time. I think if we had that conversation or moment of vulnerability from the dad, it would have added clarity and depth to his character. But I really loved the letter of advice the mom left the dad.

My favorite moment was when Emily came out as gay to the dad and he used the mom’s advice and told Emily he loved her 🥺. He loved her no matter the advice, though. It was a really sweet moment between them. I also loved the ice cream and bingo moment they had in the beginning of the book because it set up this small town vibe that I loved. I don’t know about you, but I love when books take place in a small town where people feel like family. I grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone—it can be a good thing and a bad thing. Mostly it’s a good thing because it creates a shared community of love that is tighter.

“The things she did and the places she went and the lives she touched. It’s talking about her instead of hiding in a literal closet, shutting out the world. It’s learning new things about her and finding new ways to honor her without living exactly the life she wanted me to live three whole years ago.”

(pg. 284)

I loved this quote because our loved ones are never truly gone. They are a part of us and they live within us, the places we go, and the people they knew who also carry on their memories. I loved the part where Blake told Emily that people told Emily she looked like her mom because she was the mom’s legacy. Once Emily heard that, it shifted her perspective of feeling kind of angry at people when they told her she resembled her mom to feeling proud that her mom was with her. I have lost close ones as well and whenever I learn something new about them, it feels like I am getting to know them again. It’s weird in the best kind of magical way. When my grandma passed away a couple of years ago, I didn’t even know she worked some of the places she did or did the things she did until my parents talked about it. It was hearing those stories that made me understand my grandma more and made me think about how I would have liked to ask her all these questions myself to really get to know her when I should have. Take the time to know the people in your life or ask people about your loved ones. It may surprise you what they know or what memories they hold dear. I find the question: “What is your favorite or best memory of that person?” to be a wonderful question to start with.

In terms of Matt, I felt honestly really bad for him. He was a genuinely good guy and he was dedicated to being in this relationship with Emily. He was the guy in the middle, and I am not saying it was Emily’s fault she hurt him because she was figuring things out. But I still felt bad for Matt, you know. I liked how he didn’t get angry at Emily, but he just asked for space. I thought that was such a mature thing to do. I also liked how he held a semblance of calm and rationality to Emily coming out to him. What a great guy 👌🏼.

I also enjoyed the conversation between Kiera and Emily at the end where Emily told her she like liked Blake and not Matt. They really needed to have that conversation because they were both listening to each other without really hearing what the other had to say. I loved the whole moment in how they baked cookies and used the secret ingredient—-maple syrup. I have to try that sometime! But it was a sweet scene. One of my other favorite scenes in the end was when Emily and her dad moved into the new house and Blake’s dad, John (I think) gave her a welcoming gift from Blake. It was a painted masterpiece of Emily’s old house with the sunflower garden and the mom tending to the sunflowers. The portrait encapsulated all the things Emily had to let go of with this new chapter in her life. But now that she had the painting, she could always have a bit of her old home, the sunflower garden, and most importantly her mom. I loved how thoughtful Blake’s gift was and how Blake still (technically) gave the painting to her when they were fighting. I also want to touch on how the last item of the list wasn’t the mom wanting to kiss the dad, but John—-Blake’s dad. When Emily had that realization, it made her think about what Nina said with how even her mom didn’t get it right the first time. Kind of like Emily.

So Emily and her friends, including good old Matt helped staged a grand gesture at the bingo fundraiser. Honestly, I love a full circle moment 👌🏼.

I loved how they staged the whole game so Blake would win so she would get this gift basket that Emily put together. The gift basket was SOOOOO SWEET 🥺I loved how it was a list of all the things they talked about wanting to do their senior year. They had a conversation on the way to Blake’s aunt’s house about what they would want to do, and at the time it was just a fun, casual up-in-the-air moment. But I loved how Emily wanted to create a new legacy—a new list—with Blake, the person she really liked. I loved that for her 💕.

Gosh, this Jim Donovan doesn’t mess around with bingo though 😂!

“I think about the past few weeks. The list. Blake. Matt. All of it.

When I think about it . . . I feel luckier than I have in three years.”

(pg. 178)

Overall, I thought the book was very cute and touching. The story had moments that made me reflect on how precious life is and that we should live our life taking risks or pushing ourselves to take chances we would otherwise never do. Of course, within reason. But taking chances is how we sometimes fall into the best adventures or parts of our life that help us grow. I also think about how lucky we are for each day and to never take any day, any person, or our health for granted. Do something that makes you happy today. Do something that’s new. Hang out with an old friend. Make a new friend. Mend a relationship. Go for a run or a swim. Go dancing. Do things that scare you because the more you do it, the less scarier it can be. Also, know that people you love are never truly gone.

Love does not need a future.

It’s a quote I read from In Five Years by Rebecca Serle and that quote has just stuck with me. The love you have for someone does not need a future to exist. It can always exist as long as you carry that love within you.

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? 

What is something you would put on your lucky list?

Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕.

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Review

4.12 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: Emily is such a tender-hearted, gentle soul who finds herself and some much needed healing 🧡

Plot: A lucky list that brings a girl new adventures that bring her closer to the person she can be and fresh love

Writing: Rachael Lippincott knows how to capture the mood and feel of a book

Romance: I liked how sweet Blake and Emily were together, but I also enjoyed the added touch of Matt’s character because he was a nice boy who also deserved love.