Siri, Who Am I? By Sam Tschida Book Review

“Could I have a protein bowl, please?”

“Of course. Would you like chicken on that?”

“Uhhhh . . . I’m vegetarian,” I say, in honor of Brenda.

Max gives me a funny look. So does the barista, but whatever.”

(pg. 49)

About

Author: Sam Tschida

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary

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Synopsis

Mia might look like a Millennial but she was born yesterday. Emerging from a coma with short-term amnesia after an accident, Mia can’t remember her own name until the Siri assistant on her iPhone provides it. Based on her cool hairstyle (undercut with glamorous waves), dress (Prada), and signature lipstick (Chanel), she senses she’s wealthy, but the only way to know for sure is to retrace her steps once she leaves the hospital. Using Instagram and Uber, she arrives at the pink duplex she calls home in her posts but finds Max, a cute, off-duty postdoc supplementing his income with a house-sitting gig. He tells her the house belongs to JP, a billionaire with a chocolate empire. A few texts later, JP confirms her wildest dreams: they’re in love, Mia is living the good life, and he’ll be back that weekend.

But as Mia and Max work backward through her Instagram and across Los Angeles to learn more about her, they discover an ugly truth behind her perfect Instagram feed, and evidence that her head wound was no accident. Did Mia have it coming? And if so, is it too late for her to rewrite her story?

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

Dear Siri,

If I’m being completely honest, this was a total cover buy. And you’re lying to yourself if you say you have never judged a book (literally) by it’s cover 🤪. I mean, the cover was just beautifully done if I must say, and after reading the book, I have to say I appreciate how the artist captured key details in the cover from the yellow cocktail dress, the tiara, the hospital wristband, and the broken phone. The cover was done right 👏🏼. Also, I am obsessed with authors using. illustrated covers because my gosh does it just add this interesting, fun layer to the book.

But besides me raving about the cover, we need to talk about what’s beneath the surface, or the cover.

Honestly, I have nothing against Sam Tschida as an author, but you know, some books are just not for you/they are not your favorite. So if I’m being honest, this book was not my favorite. Let’s talk about what I liked first because that’s always a good place to start from. I really liked the humor. I liked the little footnote comments of Mia’s thinking because she’s a very funny person. I also liked the whole mystery of what happened to Mia after she woke up in the hospital with no memory at all. And I liked the cover.

Now, let’s get into what did not click or work for me. Again, I just want to say this wasn’t a bad book, just not my favorite. And that’s okay. Would I read another Sam Tschida book? Yea, because her writing was easy to read and follow along with and maybe her next book will be my favorite.

One of the reasons this book just wasn’t it for me was because I didn’t really like Mia. I felt like she was a very superficial, materialistic, prima donna who was surface level. I think it’s because Mia didn’t know who she was, so it was hard for me to connect to someone who barely knew who she was, and the person who I thought Mia just wasn’t my favorite. There’s nothing wrong with working hard to make your living and buying nice things—-like you do you and spend your money how you want to. I have nothing against Mia, I just didn’t like the way she parked in a handicap stall without thinking of the repercussions or how she flounced around doing all these things without a care in her mind. I get it, she was pushed on an ice sculpture, she doesn’t know any better. But she should have some sense to be a nice person. I also didn’t like how she would make subtle rude comments about places being slums or other things she said. Mia just felt snobbish. Again, I don’t know if this was because she just woke up with no memory or if she was just naturally a snob, but I don’t know . . . I didn’t really like her or felt like I knew her. At the end of the story, I do appreciate how she wanted to be better than her past self because that showed growth that she knew who she was wasn’t kind and she wanted to improve. So I feel like at the end we have a better sense of who Mia wants to be, and that Mia feels like someone I want to get to know better than the superficial la-da-da Mia we saw throughout the book.

But you can’t say Mia wasn’t funny. I liked how she thought she was vegan because Brenda the nurse told her she was vegan, so Mia assumed she was vegan. I also liked how Mia spent the time talking to the barista. It’s truly the simple everyday acts and conversations we have that make a big difference to people’s life. If you see the same barista, mail carrier, grocery worker, etc., say hi to them, get to know them, and be nice. I know when I get to know the people in my community, it brings a warm feeling in my heart to realize that there are people out there and they are just like me—-trying to seek human connection. It will surprise you what you learn about people in your life if you just ask them or reach out 😊. I also thought it was funny when Mia tried to recruit a fake Crystal by going to that acting scene part. But gosh, how DISGUSTINGLY OBJECTIFYING was that acting scene. I just wanted to scream at all those ladies to know that they have self-respect and they shouldn’t listen to a director that just wants to use them for their body. I don’t judge people who do nude scenes or anything, do what you are comfortable with, but gosh, it just makes me skeeved when people use women’s bodies in a dirty way like that. I don’t know. I’m not in the acting scene.

I also appreciated Crystal and Mia’s friendship, as weird as it was. I mean Crystal literally tried to kill Mia. Well, not kill her, but Crystal did push Mia into the ice sculpture. That must have been some push . . . couldn’t Mia sue Crystal for something like that? Not that Crystal needs a lawsuit 😅. But, gosh, sis was pushed hard enough to bleed and Crystal didn’t even have the audacity to see if Mia was okay, yet alone if Mia lived 🤪. I’m sooooo sorry, that’s just a sketch friendship. Honestly, Mia should watch her back with Crystal still because if she peeves her off, who knows what Crystal will do. But I kind of like Crystal because she gives me a cool I-don’t-give-two-hoots vibe, she’s a boss working mom, and she knows how to work a pole. I respect all single mothers out there and how they work everyday, trying to make a living for their family and themselves by themselves. Do not underestimate the strength of a single mother, I kid you not.

But I thought it was funny how Crystal kind of laughed at how much Mia didn’t remember. I’m sorry, were you not the one who pushed Mia into an ice sculpture, where she bled and had to be sent to the hospital? And you know, where she lost her memory? Why are you laughing? 😅 I also found it kind of funny how Crystal and Mia could laugh about it after Mia found out. That’s some true friendship right there.

I guess, there lies another reason why the book wasn’t my favorite—-I was amped for this whole mystery aspect of who pushed Mia, and it was anticlimactically her best friend. I mean, okay that’s interesting, but Mia gave this air that someone was out to murder her or get her—-or maybe that’s just the vibes I got from Mia—-so I was expecting this whole mystery thing. So I was disappointed when it was really just a petty push into an ice sculpture because Mia set Crystal up with a druggie. I get it though, don’t set your best friend up with a druggie, but still. . . push her into an ice sculpture and not even tell her you’re the one who did it? SKETCH. And don’t get me started on how Mia called her the day she woke up in the hospital and Crystal had the audacity to be mad at her?! I’M SOOOOO SORRY, WHO PUSHED WHO INTO ICE? 😖

I didn’t get it.

It was a real boss beach moment when they talked about starting a business together. As two former women who worked at a strip club to start their own business because that’s pretty darn cool.

I also have to say I appreciated how open this book talked about tru financial struggles people go through. I think sometimes people put a negative connotation to being a stripper or a very sexualizing profession and I do not think that is fair for anyone to assume or judge a person’s character based on their profession. Some people do things to get by in this world because we live in a world that is unfair, expensive, and oppressive to minorities. And Crystal was a single mother who worked multiple jobs to make ends meet and she just seemed like such a real person because of her very-real struggles. It seemed to me that past Mia also struggled to get by because she didn’t have a home and she worked as the accountant for GoldRush. They were both making an honest living doing something that paid them what they needed to to survive. Sometimes we just need to survive. I don’t blame them.

I loved that they were going to start a business together and take over the dating world in their own way. I also liked how JP sold Mia the strip club.

I honestly liked JP. He seemed like a decent enough man who recognized his faults with his business and his relationships and wanted to make up for it. I respect that. Sure, he could have been a better person in the relationship he had with Mia, but we all can work on ourselves in a relationship. So, I can’t really judge him for that. I also represented how he let Mia go when she said she didn’t know who he was anymore and if she could be in this relationship with him. It takes a man to let someone he loves go like that. The only sketchy thing about JP was how he ran off to Switzerland after Mia lost her memory. Because he disappeared, it made it seem like he pushed her. At the same time, I didn’t get the vibe that he did. He just seemed like a rich man who got in a riff with his girlfriend and needed a vacation and then when he came home, he just sugared her up.

He put the sugar in sugar daddy.

Gosh, was the idea of GoldRush kind of funny 😂. It’s like Gold digging for dating apps. Why is that not a real app?

I mean, I’m happy for Crystal and her underwear model, Jules 😂.

The whole Kobra situation was kind of random to me and didn’t really fit the plot. I didn’t really care for this whole sleaze ball, big guy act. It felt weird. To be honest, the whole plot felt jumbled to me. I mean, first we had Mia who lost her memory and then some sort of mystery. Then we have this drug plot and Crystal pushed her plot and then the stripper plot and then the romance part.

OHHH, the romance plot with Max. Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of how Mia fell in love with the first guy she met and got to know. It just seemed so quick to me that she all of a sudden and these feelings for Max had somehow Max felt the same. I mean, are we sure he wasn’t sad and rebounding with Mia or he was feeling a little something something with her because you know, hot girl who just lost her memory and he could be the savior for her? 😕 I don’t know, but I can tell you I wasn’t buying into the romance.

I think they made good friends and I liked them as that. They helped each other and were very friend-like, but not romance-like. I liked how Max showed her around his science place thing and how Max tried to act all macho for her with the whole Kobra meeting. I also liked how nerdy Max was because it added a spice of quirk to the book. The first taco truck moment was cute. But other than that, their romance wasn’t for me.

I also felt like we needed to know who Max was. We knew he was a scientist, but I bet he was more than just a scientist who liked punny shirts. I wanted to know him. Something just felt like it was missing with his character development. And don’t get me started on the end with how JP literally got to Mia first at the taco truck and then Max strolls on in after having literally just liked her photos and done nothing to show he liked her. Mia deserved better, truthfully she deserved JP over Max. Heck, I felt like if Mia got to know JP again, it would have rekindled what they had because what Mia had with Max didn’t feel real. If Max really wanted to be with her, he would have made the effort to talk to her or try. He didn’t. He just came last minute. I wanted him to grovel and profess his love like JP did.

But, noooooooooo he sends a “I’m soooo sorry I was in the lab text after hours,” and somehow that’s okay with Mia. I get it, he’s in the lab, he’s got things to do. But if he knew Mia felt this way about him, he should have at least told her something or tried harder than sending an excuse text. Real guys don’t make excuses my friend.

I wasn’t rooting for him at the end, sorry 😅. And it wasn’t because Max was not rich. I just didn’t see him and Mia as a thing.

I guess the ending felt kind of ehhh for me too because Mia got the guy, but there were so many things I still didn’t understand or know.

Gosh, I’m still confused who the guy at the beach who constantly helped Mia and how he knew her? There’s still a lot I want to know about Mia. I would have liked to understand more about why she had this strained relationship with her mom. Did Mia have siblings? Who was Howard to Mia? Who was Mia’s dad? Did Mia actually have a home or no? Did Mia have a degree? OOOOOh, but the most important question, was she a vegetarian? 🤪

Gosh, don’t even get me started on how Mia literally drove the day after she lost her memory. Excuse me, the hospital just let a woman who lost her memory out the hospital and then we let her drive on the freeway, yet alone the whole creation?! When did she have her license? 🤪

Honestly, I’m kind of wondering what kind of money Mia got for helping capture Kobra because isn’t there usually a cash reward for those sort of things? 😂 Also curious to where Max and Mia will live because gosh knows they can’t stay in JP’s house anymore.

She really darn gave up a man who made chocolate—-basically Willy Wonka for Sid the Science Kid 😂.

I could not. I loved Sid the Science Kid, he’s always looking for his friends, kind of like Mia who had no friends. . . any real friends.

In all, this book was easy to read and had laughable moments, but there were many things that didn’t mesh well character wise or plot wise. For character-wise, I felt like we didn’t know our characters really well and I felt that there were different characters who didn’t make sense or contribute anything to the book. Like Kobra. I didn’t think he was necessary. Or the police woman. I don’t know. It just felt like it was added in for effect, but I would have liked more purpose behind the characters to see how they connected to this story.

I also wanted to mention the social media aspect. As a Gen Z, we do use dating apps probably a lot more and we know our way around social media, so I liked how this story incorporated some Gen Z aspects and how toxic social media can be. I also appreciated the influencer part because that’s a very real profession these days—a profession I respect. I think Mia could be an influencer. But gosh knows this woman really gave $100,000 for a date. That’s a lot of money and I wonder how she had all that money to give people when she just took GoldRush the club and amped it up online. Was she really rich or not? I don’t know.

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about?  Have you ever been on a dating app? What’s your dating app horror stories? Leave them below 😆💕

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Rating

2.34 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: I didn’t really feel like we got to know Mia because of the premise of the story. The other characters also felt a bit disconnected to the story, but all interesting people.

Plot: Interesting, but the plot gets confusing and mixed up in these other subplots.

Writing: Easy to follow and funny at moments.

Romance: Ummm, Sid the Science Kid needs to leave the chat