She Gets The Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick
“She gets the girl. We get back together. Everyone wins.”
(pg. 99)
About
Author: Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
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Synopsis
Alex Blackwood is a little bit headstrong, with a dash of chaos and a whole lot of flirt. She knows how to get the girl. Keeping her on the other hand…not so much. Molly Parker has everything in her life totally in control, except for her complete awkwardness with just about anyone besides her mom. She knows she’s in love with the impossibly cool Cora Myers. She just…hasn’t actually talked to her yet.
Alex and Molly don’t belong on the same planet, let alone the same college campus. But when Alex, fresh off a bad (but hopefully not permanent) breakup, discovers Molly’s hidden crush as their paths cross the night before classes start, they realize they might have a common interest after all. Because maybe if Alex volunteers to help Molly learn how to get her dream girl to fall for her, she can prove to her ex that she’s not a selfish flirt. That she’s ready for an actual commitment. And while Alex is the last person Molly would ever think she could trust, she can’t deny Alex knows what she’s doing with girls, unlike her.
As the two embark on their five-step plans to get their girls to fall for them, though, they both begin to wonder if maybe they’re the ones falling…for each other.
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To all those looking to get the girl,
We’re being Rachael Lippincott fans around here 🥰! When I heard Rachael LIppinoctt was writing this book with her wife, I screamed and gushed! I love when authors write with their partner because it’s literally the best; it’s like getting a glimpse into their hearts. Like Emily Wibberley and Austin Siegemund -Broka? Love them too. So I was super excited to dive into She Gets the Girl because I could just tell it was going to be a fantastic read. And also, my gosh, the cover is so beautiful and fun, and I love the flowers on it 🌼.
I wasn’t wrong when I said that this was going to be a fantastic read because I literally wrote in my book notes how the first chapter was written very strong and already made me captivated by Alex because of the sprinkles of hurt Alex carried with her from her parental trauma/situation. I loved how the details were finely woven into the scene because the details of Alex’s history didn’t feel like an information dump but a natural part of the story that made you want to know more about her while also giving you a strong basis into what kind of person she was.
Because this story was broken up into duel POVs, I’m going to talk about Alex first and then dive into Molly and their journey together.
🍔 🚲 📖 Alex 📖🚲 🍔
Alex was a head-strong, brazen, realistic, secretly-soft, and caring person.
She was never afraid to speak her mind or go after what she wanted, however, deep down I knew that she cared about what she did and the people she loved.
The thing was, it was difficult for Alex to open up or be vulnerable with people she loved because of her upbringing. Her parents would constantly fight growing up. Whenever her parents fought, Alex would bike or walk to the library to sit in the fiction section and read books. I loved learning about this tidbit about Alex because no one would ever peg her for an avid reader given her persona—-her secret soft-spot. But I loved how books were her safety and peace away from the hurricane that was her home life. Books were also her escape from the hardships she faced every day, which is something I and most readers can also relate too. Books have the power to take us to other worlds with other people who go through similar problems or more challenging feats, but seeing how they overcome what they are going through gives us reprieve to face our own battles. And sometimes we all just need something to help us get away. I loved that Alex had books 💛.
Eventually all the fighting, led to her parents divorcing and her dad leaving. The dad left after one time where he said I love you to the mom. After the dad left, Alex was left to pick up the pieces of her mom. Her mom fell into an alcohol addiction and was constantly drunk, stumbling home late or risking doing things that would put her in harms way. I cannot even begin to imagine the things Alex had to go through growing up or how fast she had to mature to take care of her mom; Alex was only a kid and it was like the roles were reversed. I read once how when people “compliment” someone as being amateur for their age, it’s not really a compliment that someone had to grow up quickly to survive when they should have been given the time and space to be a kid. Also, when a person has to grow up that quickly, the quickly lose sight of taking care of themselves because they learned to take care of others at an early age. I constantly wondered throughout the book who took care of Alex?
She was so used to taking care of everyone around her—-constantly worrying about everyone else—-that I could tell how much she neglected herself. She put herself last. No one could say Alex wasn’t selfless because she was absolutely selfless, but being selfless can not be a good thing if you never ask yourself what you need at one point. Circling back to Alex constantly worrying about everyone, it made my heart heavy the way Alex would always think of her mom’s needs. Not that it was a bad thing that Alex was concerned about her mom, because any child would be concerned about their parent if they see their parent going down a dark road that they wish they didn’t go on. But Alex’s worry came from a place of fear—-fearing that she would also lose her mom. It was why Alex took away her mom’s car keys many years ago, and why she had a neighbor looking out for the mom. Alex already had her dad walk out on her, and she didn’t want anything to happen to her mom because the mom was the only person Alex had left that was remotely like a parent. Even if the mom wasn’t much of a mom, the mom was still there and she was still hurting. Alex knew she was hurting, and she tried all she could to help the mom get out of that dark place but there is only so much that she could do unless the mom actually listened to Alex and wanted to be better for herself. I really loved how Alex loved and cared for her mom despite the shiz her mom gave her or the heaviness surrounding their family—-that Alex still had hope that her mom could be better, so Alex loved her mom through the pain because she knew her mom could get better. That’s real love right there—-to love someone in their darkest moments and to still stand by their side when part of you wants to walk away.
Alex stuck by her mom’s side even when it was hard.
Getting those calls or texts from her mom must have felt a knot of emotions—-the tangled web of fear but also the slow ease of peace. Somewhat like when a person untangles a knotted jewelry and sometimes you make the right moves to get the jewelry back to what it was, sometimes it makes an even bigger knot. It was a double-edged sword to talk to her mom—–to know the mom was alive, but also to know the mom was up to her same habits.
There was that one call Alex got when she first left for university. Her mom called her about needing money because she was trying to get a job but she didn’t have enough money until she heard back. Alex barely had any money left herself with paying rent, buying books for classes, and getting food to live. But then her mom said she would ask Tommy, who Alex knew was an even worse influence and she didn’t want her mom to go back to that douche canoe. It ranged my heart reading Alex’s inner viscera in knowing she didn’t have enough money for herself but also knowing she didn’t want her mom to bounce back to an even worse influence than alcohol. So Alex gave the mom half of what she had left in her bank account—$50—and Alex knew she had to find a job soon. It just broke my heart because being a college student is already rough with all the expenses, but Alex had her mom to think of.
Alex didn’t need that worry hanging over her head—-she didn’t need that responsibility on top of everything and this huge life change that was college. But she did. I mean, who protected her peace?
Also, I could only imagine the elevated distress she must have felt to be away from her mom and not know what the mom was up to or if she was safe or alive. Alex didn’t need that worry on her either, but did she worry? Yea. It sucked to read how worried Alex was because I could feel the tension in her demeanor and words and it made me want to hug her because no one around her understood what it was like to always worry about a parent. I know what it’s like to worry about a parent. The feeling eats at you and it feels like you constantly want to make sure they are okay because if they are not, it makes you feel like it’s your fault for what happened to them—-like it was your responsibility. But it’s not. Adults are adults and, sure, they make mistakes, but they should also know that they have to take care of themselves and to stop placing that burden on kids to “mature quickly” to do so.
There was a moment in the beginning where Alex even questioned if she should even stay in college because she should be home watching over her mom and taking care of her, but she was convinced by Molly or Jim to stay in college because she deserved to be there. I mean, Alex was happy that she finally had a way out of her old life to make a better life for herself with college—-as she should. She shouldn’t let the mom take away her future or her chance at a. better life; Alex should stay in college.
The thing was she wasn’t in college for the right reasons. I mean this in the way that Alex was practical because life taught her to be practical. Alex was going to study to be a doctor, which I mean, go her, but also her heart wasn’t in it. She was in it for the money.
” . . . I don’t exactly have the luxury of worrying about what I do like. I don’t have the privilege to just do what I love.”
(pg. 246)
We all know being a doctor makes good money, but no one should become a doctor if they actually don’t want to be a doctor, least of all be in it for the money. There’s this saying that I wrote about a while back in my quotes section, but it was “Do what you love, not what you think is going to get you the life that you love.” I remember thinking this thought after I read from a Colleen Hoover book that you should do the job that you say you would do for free. So if Alex wanted to be a doctor, would she do it for free? If not, she shouldn’t be a doctor because it’s not what she loved. If yes, she should. But I always think about what Colleen Hoover said and the thoughts that I came up with from that because I don’t think anyone should do something they don’t like just because it will give them a life they think will make them happy. Being a doctor does pay well, but it’s also many strenuous years of college and beyond; working with people; working with blood; working with love, loss, and life. All that will sure make a hefty paycheck, but if you don’t love what you do or at least tolerate it, it will make your life even more sad because you’re doing something you barely like each day. I mean, not every person is going to have a dream career because sometimes people don’t and that’s okay. As long as you don’t absolutely hate your career and can work on your passions on the side, then sure. But don’t do something just because it pays well and can give you a stable life. Alex just wanted to be a doctor because she didn’t want to have to worry about stability and money, which was understandable and fair.
However, her love was in literature. She loved writing, dissecting books, and reading. She didn’t even like blood. Sis could not be a doctor 😅. Alex even knew deep down she didn’t want to be a doctor, but she felt that was the only way to stop feeling financially insecure. Growing up that way, yes, that’s tough to not want to go straight for the highest paying job, and I don’t blame her. But I wanted her to follow her heart not her wallet.
But Alex was nothing but a hard-worker.
She worked at a bar and then a food truck.
If I was Alex, I would have run screaming in the other direction when first walking into the scary-looking Alley with Jim’s truck. And second, I would have been more apprehensive about riding in a creepy, unsafe truck with a strange man I just met. I don’t know where Alex’s red flags have gone 😅.
When Alex proved how hard a worker she was to Jim that trial day, I was like wow. Because it’s not that I don’t know Alex was a hard worker Alex seemed more serious than she had in other instances we have seen her. This moment just highlighted how she always had to work hard to survive and that she really did put in the work.
The character that I unexpectedly really liked was Jim. He gave me greasy vibes because he worked in a food truck, but I also liked getting to know him. He used to be quite the ladies man growing up, and had a nice woman he was going to marry—his high school sweet heart. But he became an alcoholic as he got older, and he lost a lot of things. He lost the woman he was going to marry because she left him, he put on some weight, he didn’t have a steady career or path anymore, and all the relationships he had with friends and family.
Hearing how Jim was an alcoholic and how much he had lost made Alex feel less alone in what she was going through. She had no one in her life before Jim who was an alcoholic or who grew up with an alcoholic, and she never knew exactly how to feel. I mean, she had to figure out everything as she went and even then she was just a teenager herself and yet she had to help her mom battle her alcohol addiction without really knowing how. Jim was her unexpected adult figure that she needed to meet because he gave her comfort that she wasn’t alone and that there was hope that her mom could get better. Also, I think it helped to hear from a person with alcohol addiction how they fall into that because I think part of Alex kind of understood why but not really.
I mean, you can not understand something as much as someone who has gone through it.
It’s just a different level of understanding and connection.
“Alcohol was my way of running away from things, y’know.”
(pg. 300)
We all have ways to escape or run away.
Alcohol was one way for some people. I wonder what Jim was trying to run from?
But I didn’t like how Alex started to think how she was like the mom because she ran away in a different way—from herself and difficult situations. I mean, sometimes it’s okay to run away if it protects you and your peace, but yes, we can’t always run away forever. We have to face our problems head first because they will have a way of catching up with us. Also, it’s inevitable that we will face it. Running makes people tired. Sometimes you have to just say I’m going to stop running and let myself rest and face whatever it was.
I loved how Jim and Alex had a new relationship after he opened up and she could relate to him. I mean, they weren’t besties but I liked when that guy tried to hit on her/made Alex uncomfortable, Jim was all over him.
But out of all the parts in the book, I really have to say my favorite part was how Jim was there for Alex when Alex’s mom got arrested.
This happened towards the end, and I just felt like there was going to be a moment that Alex’s worst fears about her mom would come true—-that her mom would get into trouble and would need her—-and that she would confront her mom. Before the mom got arrested though, Alex had a riff with her mom where her mom called Alex in a drunken state and asked for more money that Alex didn’t have. I just wanted to scream into a wall or something because this was Alex’s hard-earned money that her mom was lying and wasting on alcohol. She wasn’t getting a new job, she just said those things to cover her bases and make Alex feel like she was trying. But the mom was only spending her money on alcohol and alcohol is not cheap. It just broke my heart to know how much effort and time Alex spent on school, her life, and work and for all that work and money be given to her mom so her mom could waste it and for the mom to indirectly hurt Alex in doing so. I kept saying to myself that Alex needed to set boundaries with her mom because it wasn’t fair to Alex. It never was. Alex was working hard, that was her money. She din’t have to split it with her mom, but she did because sh didn’t want her mom to go to this dummy named Tommy. But when Alex got mad at her mom and tried to establish boundaries, her mom stopped talking to her like a petty person. And what did she do?
Go to freaking Tommy and then she crashed her car into a pole and got arrested.
And I’m over here like Alex really does not need that. Picking her mom up from the police station after everything is the last thing she needed. No.
When Alex got the call, I wanted to hug her because she deserved so much more than what she had been given in life to go where she was going. I loved that Jim was there for her and could see the severity of the situation and how much it pained Alex to be the one to get the call. I loved when he took the phone from her and finished the rest of the call and then he drove her to the station. She needed someone like him to be there with her because he understood.
“Listen to me, okay? From someone who knows from experience, you can’t be responsible for her anymore. She had to be responsible for herself. You’re going to be honest with her and lay out the facts, and we’re going to get her some help, Alex. tonight. . . And you. . . You’re going to go back to Pittsburgh, and get your degree, and stop carrying the weight of another person around.”
(pg. 331)
Dang Jim was RIGHT 👏🏼!!!!
Because I’ve been saying that the whole time.
Alex was carrying around so much responsibility and the weight of taking care of her mom that no one took care of her. No one took care of her by seeing how much she was carrying to tell her that she needed to protect her peace and take care of herself. She was exhausted. I’d be exhausted. I was exhausted just thinking about how exhausted Alex must have been.
I know what it’s like to carry responsibility and weight on you for so long that the weight feels natural because you are used to hardship. But it shouldn’t be like that. You should feel light and unburdened by the pain and responsibilities that other people should be working through and carrying for themselves. If you are carrying other peoples burdens on your back, it will keel you over because you are not meant to carry the load of more than one person. That is not your job. Your job it to take care of yourself and you can’t do that with everyone else on your back.
Alex couldn’t do that.
Alex confronting the mom felt like Alex releasing all she had been carrying back to her mom—the weight and the bottled up feelings. The mom needed a verbal slap to the face because her daughter had been hurting for years and she was drinking herself to nothing to see how terrified Alex had been. But Alex had to be the strong one for both of them and that was never fair on her. I teared up reading Alex’s spiel to her mom because I could feel her hurt and worry streaming out of her body like the little girl who wanted to tell all this to her mom a long time ago. And the part about how the mom was killing herself with the alcohol? Darn. I was like, that had to hurt to say and for the mom to hear.
I’m happy the mom finally understood the severity of her actions with crashing into a pole and drinking, but my gosh. I really felt for Alex. This was a long time coming for her.
The mom was going to get help, and Jim drove her to the rehabilitation center he went to. It was very raw and honest to read the description of the mom going through alcohol withdraws. I loved how Alex was still there for her mom, comforting her. Alex was always taking care of others.
But what had be for real sobbing like Marley and Me sobbing was when Alex asked about the bill for rehab, and then the lady said that it was covered and that Jim paid for in full 😭💛.
JIM!!!!!! 😫
I loved this guy.
My heart.
I could not.
He paid for Alex’s mom to get help because he knew how hard Alex worked and probably worked her whole life and how much she worried about finances, that he wanted to alleviate some of Alex’s worries by paying for her so that her mom could get better and that they could forma better, healthier relationship. I JUST LOVED THAT 🥺.
And when Alex overheard Jim and the mom talking?
So sweet.
Not who I thought as greasy, grumpy Jim saying that Alex was a good kid and good with people and that he was going to look after her 🥺💛.
Jim loved Alex because Alex represented all the people he unforntaley lost when he was an alcoholic. This was him trying to do better by the people who go through what Alex went through with her mom, and to help the mom do better do. I loved that they had a crazy laugh-bonding moment in the car.
Wow. Jim. Who would have thought he would be the character to make me cry?
Alex had to take care of herself and fend for herself in other ways too.
Oh, don’t even get me started on how Alex lived in an apartment with a roommate who didn’t even like her because she had to save money to go to college and dorm’s were expensive (which, I mean, she wasn’t wrong). Or how Alex constantly had 7-11 food because she couldn’t afford the dinning hall or anything expensive. There’s nothing wrong with 7-11 because I eat there and they have good food. I mean, some 7-11s be popping 😂. But she ate her meals from 7-11 because that was the only place that was relatively affordable for her to do so, not because she absolutely loved 7-11. But maybe she did love 7-11, but I didn’t think that was the reason. I mean. the way Alex lit up like a tree topper around any food that wasn’t 7-11 was a big hint.
I don’t know why it made me as happy as it did, but I loved that foodie moment when Alex went to the dinning hall with Molly, Cora, and Abby. Molly offered to pay for Alex because Molly didn’t want to go eat with Cora and Abby alone. When Alex got into the dinning hall, I just imagined her eyes turning into hearts and drool pooling out of her mouth. Sis, only survived on 7-11 donuts and sandwiches!!!! But she just wanted to eat a full course meal. When she piled her plate and tried to eat everything, I was so happy for her because she was hungry and she deserved a good meal. A good meal doesn’t always come easy for some people. Or when she tried to sneak some food in her pockets? I laughed, but also I was sad because she just wanted food—real food. I also loved when Alex was at the food court with Molly during their shopping day with Molly’s mom, and Alex’s eyes widened and her voice was so excited to talk about food. The girl loved food, which I loved about her. But when something doesn’t come easy, you appreciate it a lot more, and Alex reminded me not to take things for granted in life.
I loved that moment on that shopping day where Molly’s mom saw Alex put back the shirts that Alex wanted to buy. When Molly’s mom told Molly and Alex to wait outside, Molly’s mom handed Alex the shirts she wanted, and I just wanted to sob 🥺. MOLLY’S MOM!!!!
The mom buying Alex the clothes Alex wanted was such a sweet gesture because Molly’s mom knew Alex was a good person and that she worked hard. Molly’s mom also understood what it was like to struggle to make ends meet, especially as a college student. But it was more than just being a broke college student, it was always having to provide for herself and her mom. The way Alex said thank you was the most honest and pure thing I ever heard. She deserved every bit of kindness that came towards her.
“And I’m a bit of ashamed to realize how little I’ve actually thought about Alex’s life outside of just being my love guru.
Maybe she’s not the girl that gets everything so easily.
Maybe she’s so good at helping me show myself to the world because she’s put up a front of her own.”
(pg. 223)
I loved that Molly had this thought about Alex because everyone did see Alex as just another blonde beauty who was super cool and had it all together.
But she had her own hardships that no one saw. Alex built walls around herself because it was easier to have people think what they wanted to of her, and she didn’t want people to see her as weak. She also didn’t want to be seen as her mom.
A big part of the plot was the fact that Alex dated this girl Natalie, and before both of them leaving (Alex for college and Natalie her tour), Natalie told Alex she loved her. Alex was about to say it back, but froze. I mean, saying I love you to someone is hard, especially if you haven’t heard it or felt it your whole life. Alex wasn’t used to receiving love from people and it made her uncomfortable, but the bigger reason was because her dad said I love you to the mom and then left. Alex’s biggest fear was about turning into her parents, especially the mom. So if she said I love you to Natalie and then left for college, she felt that she would have been just like the dad who just took off after saying very powerful words. I understood how Alex felt because when she had that type of trauma of an unhealthy relationship or situation, it’s difficult to not feel like you don’t want to repeat that same situation. I didn’t blame her. But it was also difficult for Alex to vocalize her emotions because she was never real with Natalie and didn’t love her the wya I felt she did. I mean, they had a good relationship and physical connection, but Alex hadn’t really let Natalie in to see her most vulnerable parts because she was scared of being judged.
If Alex felt that way, DUH, she couldn’t tell Natalie she loved her when she didn’t. Alex should have felt safe or cowmforbtale around Natalie to share those vulnerable parts about herself, but the fact that she didn’t was equal parts on Alex as it was on Natalie that Natalie never made Alex feels safe to open up. From what I gauged, Natalie made Alex feel like she was broken and needed her. Not even just because of their heated argument before they called things off and they both left, but because Natalie told Alex she would be all alone and that she had no one. That’s not something you should ever throw in someone’s face. That says that you’re trying to guild the other person into thinking that they need you when in reality, you don’t really need anyone but yourself. Sure, Alex didn’t have many friends to call when she was at that bus station, but then again it wasn’t because Alex didn’t try to make friends. She just never had time. She wasn’t alone by choice, she was alone by circumstance because she never took care of herself to let anyone else take care of her.
So Natalie throwing that in her face was not okay with me. I also didn’t appreciate how Natalie told Alex she was her mom because that was a trash thing to say, knowing that was Alex’s biggest fear.
The fact that Alex even internalized what Natalie said, made my heart hurt because Natalie was wrong. Alex was already on the path of being better and doing more for herself. I didn’t blame Alex for not being real of vulnerable because she had very real hardships in her life that weren’t easy to vocalize. But the right people would make it easy. I also didn’t blame Alex because not being vulnerable doesn’t make you broken or any less worthy of love; It didn’t mean that Alex would never be good in a relationship. She just had to find the right person and to slowly work on herself. I did agree with Natalie that maybe Alex could have been less flirty with other girls because that’s not something a partner would want to see, but yea, Alex was human and she had things to work on. She wasn’t broken.
To prove to Natalie that she could hold a relationship and be a good person, Alex devised this plan for Molly to get the girl (Cora) that Molly liked. I will talk about the plan in the Molly and Alex section.
But throughout the plan, Natalie wasn’t acting like a good “girlfriend” to Alex who was actually trying to better herself.
Natalie consistently ghosted Alex for days or weeks over nothing. And then if Natalie did ghost Alex it was over something dumb like Alex fell asleep. Like sis was tired, giver her a break 🙄. I was like, Natalie is not worth all this trouble for Alex to prove to her that she loved her. Not at all. I mean, it just seemed wrong that Alex was doing all these things to show Natalie how much she loved her and how much she changed. For one, because no one should ever have to prove so hard that they do love someone like they are begging that person to love them and second, Natalie wasn’t putting in the same effort. That bothered me. Natalie was playing games with Alex and not doing anything to also change. Relationships are a two way street, sister 👏🏼!!!
Put in the work.
Alex was out here doing the mosteset and what was Natalie doing? NOTHING.
Also, whenever they talked, they would have a few nicely exchanged words, but it never felt like Natalie actually wanted to talk to Alex—-like Natalie was just stringing Alex along because she could. Alex deserved better.
There was this moment where Alex was thinking about her feelings, and then she talked about having all this history with Natalie. I SCREAMED 😂. Just because you have history with a person does NOT mean you should be with them or that they are the right person anymore or that what they had was healthy. What Alex has with Natalie wasn’t healthy—-not to be rude, but it felt desperate like Alex was only doing this whole plan because she wanted to prove that she was worthy of love from someone who didn’t even genuinely know Alex and love her for her. Also, in this moment, it bothered me how much Alex internalized these negative thoughts because of freaking Natalie.
“I guess I’m exactly the person Natalie said I was. . . .
Molly likes Cora. Perfect, sunshine-and-rainbows, everything-Molly-could-possibly-dream-of Cora. . . . She’s not . . . we . . .
Like me.
Borken. And bound to hurt her no matter how hard I try not to.”
(pg. 296-7)
The fact that Alex was trying to convince herself she didn’t like Molly was a reason why she liked Molly, and second the fact that Alex was forcing herself to basically still like Natalie was a red flag.
You shouldn’t make yourself love someone if you don’t. Alex didn’t love Natalie, she liked what they had.
Alex was not the person Natalie said she was—-Aled was not broken and going to hurt Molly. But Natalie put that thought into Alex’s head that Alex was a broken lonely person and that’s what really made me upset. Alex was not broken.
Not going to lie, I loved the ending where Molly met Natalie at the concert Natalie was doing with her band, and Molly felt the need to pull Alex aside to tell Alex she didn’t like Natalie 😁!!! I LOVED. I was like, “You tell her Molly!” 👏🏼 Friend intuition doesn’t lie.
But Alex got all defensive and said somethings that I will discuss later, but Alex was only on the defense because she knew deep down that Moly was right. Alex just didn’t want to believe that Molly was right and that she deserved better. Molly knew Alex deserved the world, and even as a friend-crush person, Molly knew that Natalie was not it.
Not going to lie, I half rolled my eyes when Alex went back to her agreement with Natalie and they were making out and then Alex had the whole epiphany that Natalie wasn’t her person. I COULD HAVE TOLD HER THAT 🤪. We couldn’t have had this realization before you broke Moly’s heart??????!?!?!
Ay yai yai.
“And . . . all at once I see the truth. She never wanted to listen to me. Never was really there for me. She just wanted to control me.
This isn’t love.”
(pg. 312)
No DIP SHERLOCK, that wasn’t love.
Alex was in an unearthly relationship with Natalie because that’s what Alex thought she deserved—-the easiest form of love. But what she had with Natalie wasn’t love, it was what her parents had—-no trust, fighting, being scared of what you say or do, and manipulation. It’s also difficult to recognize a relationship as unhealthy if you have never seen a heathy model of a relationship as Alex had—-a person grows to accept any form of love, mistaking it as so.
“Love isn’t something you scrape by for.”
Love is something that leaves you feeling full and then some.
When Alex popped off on Natalie, I was like LET’S FORKING GO!!!!!
First, I loved how Alex stopped Natalie from getting further with her because Alex had changed and she wanted to talk to Natalie about how she had changed. But Natalie didn’t seem interested in hearing it, which was another red flag. It seemed like all she wanted was to get in Alex’s pants rather than hear how they were going to mend their relationship, which was something I thought she wanted 🤪. Alex telling Natalie that what they had wasn’t love and that she loved Molly and me SCREAMING. You tell her Alex 👏🏼!!!!
“I look around the room. . . At Natalie, staring at me . . . like I”m worth absolutely nothing.
And it’s like the answer I didn’t even know I was looking for. Why I couldn’t say ‘I love you’ to her that night in Philly. Why I could never be really certain.
She just . . . wasn’t the one.
I stand, pushing her hands off my shoulders. ‘Maybe I couldn’t open up to you because you weren’t worth it.’
. . . ‘I might not derisive a girl like Molly . . . but I know I sure as [heck] can do better than this.'”
(pg. 314-5)
ALEX ALEX ALEX ALEX ALEX 👏🏼!!!!!
What did I say?
The right person will make you feel comfortable and natural to pen up. But I loved the moment when Alex truly looked at Natalie and Tok in her words because Natalie acted like she knew the real Alex, but I freaking DETESTED how Natalie was like, the real you is that you are f***-ed up and flirting and lying and everything with the mom. I was like, “Natalie, are you trying to win her back or lose her?” 😂 But seriously, Natalie had been talking Alex down like Alex didn’t deserve happiness or love because she was broken or flirty or F***ed up or had trauma from her mom, but all those things had never and does not make a person not deserving or love. And it sure as heck doesn’t make a person broken. And no one should sure as heck EVER make someone feel like that’s ll they can be.
Natalie didn’t value Alex the way she should have. Natalie did treat Alex like she was nothing. I don’t know if it’s because people like Natalie think they are so better than everyone or they like the power over “broken” people, but Alex didn’t deserve someone who didn’t look at her like she hung the moon and pooped Jupiter or something.
I loved how Alex knew in her heart that she didn’t love Natalie for a reason—intuition is always right.
But when Alex said, you weren’t worth it, ICONIC 👌🏼!!!!
She wasn’t worth it at ALL!!!
I loved loved loved the moment Alex also said she deserved better because honestly, self-worth!!!! Let’s go!!! And when she walked out that door and felt good as heck about it??!?!?! I was like, “Yes, you Alex!!! Close the chapter on that trash bag!” If a person feels good about closing a chapter with someone, honestly, that’s a for sure sign that that relationship was never healthy and left you feeling drained than it did in love. It’s okay to walk away from unhealthy relationships, more than okay. Honestly, I think it’s the hardest to recognize being in an unhealthy relationship because sometimes we don’t think we deserve better, but we do or we don’t recognize that the relationship is unhealthy. But look for the signs, the flags. Do they make you feel comfortable to open up and be vulnerable? Do they make you feel loved as you are? Do they listen to you?
Do they make you feel broken? Do they make you feel like you constantly have to beg for their love? Do you feel not yourself around them?
All good questions.
Alex belonged with Molly.
🌈 🛼💗 Molly 💗🛼🌈
I really loved Alex complexities and character arc because what a dynamic character.
However, between Alex and Molly, I related to Molly more because we are natural over thinkers and social anxious people 😅.
Me and Molly? We might as well have shared a brain 😂.
“I’m just not good at opening myself up to people. I’m not good at making friends. When you spend as much time as I have worrying about what to say and how to say it and it all comes out wrong, it just becomes easier to not say anything at all.”
(pg. 18)
When I read this paragraph, I felt attacked.
I mean, anytime I talk to someone I always thing about what I say and how someone else will react and if they like me or if I said something wrong. I get so in my head that most times I don’t say anything because I either miss my opportunity to say something or I just don’t know what to say and it is easier to not say anything at all. I used to overthink a lot like Molly, and heck, I still do, but overthinking in a conversation is not something a person overcomes easily. It takes practice and being kinder to ourselves. It also takes knowing that literally no one cares that much and that they aren’t thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves—they are in their own head. So while people like Molly and I are thinking people care about what we say or do, they are really focused on themselves.
That’s something I have to constantly remind myself because nothing is literally as big a deal as it is in our heads.
It was kind of fun, but a nice mirror to be inside Molly’s thoughts/head because it felt like I really was reading myself and the thoughts I have during conversations. But it was also hard because Molly was hard on herself in certain instances like whenever she had a conversation with someone and she stewed in all the things that went wrong. Then she reprimanded herself like it was her fault. That’s what I do a lot and I know that’s not healthy, but reading about it through Molly’slens made me actually see how we should be easier on ourselves. Social interactions are hard to navigate, and again, no one is going to ruminate on the conversation so long to judge.
I just understood Molly because I was and am Molly.
Molly didn’t have many friends in high school, her only friend being her mom. When Molly got to college, she wanted to start over—reinvent herself—-to be the person she always wanted to be but never allowed herself. Molly wanted to be a bolder version of herself one that made friends, had more independence, and you know, got the girl.
Let’s talk about the friends part.
My heart hurt for Molly when she got to her dorm and saw that she was placed in a single 😢. Molly wanted a roommate because she thought at least her roommate could have been her natural way to having a friend and making more friends. However, because she was in a single room, she didn’t have that built-in-friendship of a roommate like she thought, and that made me sad. She was so excited about having a roommate and was all gung-ho about having a friend that way, and now making friends would be a bit harder for her because she was the girl on the floor with a single. When she walked out of the dorm door as her family came inside, she saw all these girls moving in with each other—their roommates—and I could just feel Molly’s sorry like she lost an opportunity. Being socially anxious and then isolated by yourself, is not a good recipe depending on the situation. And Molly wanted friends, not isolation.
Personally, I would have loved a single room freshman year 😅, but that’s just me because I love my me time and personal space, but I having a roommate or a friend there keeps you from isolating yourself even more. So that’s why it’s good to have a roommate. Anyway, I digress.
It was also difficult for Molly to talk to people to make friends because she didn’t know what to say until Alex came along. I freaking laughed when Molly went to that ice breaker thing in her dorm hall and she took the banana and ate it. not the RA people using the bananas and mints as a sex education lesson 😂. I mean, if they put free bananas on a table, how could no one not think it was a free snack? I would have thought it was a free snack. It was nice of Christopher—that guy she knew from high school—-to sit near Molly and tell her that the bananas weren’t for eating because everyone was giving her weird looks and she didn’t know why. But I loved that she knew someone because it helps when you are in a new environment if you know someone—it makes the situation less daunting. I know many people from my high school went to my university and it was a rarity to see them. But when I did, I always lit up because of that familiarity. I could also relate to how Molly thought it was so different to talk to a person outside of the classroom (pg. 45) because it is. There is no structure or school to hide behind, but actual conversation of figuring out what both people are interested in and would talk about. It’s so weird to think about people wearing all these hats or having all these roles and to interact with them in new capacities.
I thought it was incredibly kind of Christopher to invite Molly to a party and to be genuine in wanting her to be there. I think people really like Molly, but she was hard on herself so she believed no one actually liked her. The vibes I got from her old classmates and people who met her was that they thought she was pretty cool or normal, but they just didn’t get to see her much or see that side of her much because she didn’t go out or let others see her.
“‘You’re cool. I mean. . . you’re cool to hang out with. Other people would think so too if you just gave them a chance.'”
(pg. 49)
Honestly, I loved the brother (Ryan). He was such a cool, chill, nice dude. I would have wanted to be friends with him.
When the brother said this, I was gushed in sweetness because we love a kind brother who supported Molly 💛!!
But I also had to stop and self-reflect 😅.
I have a brother, but I wish someone had to ld me what Ryan told Molly—that we should give other people a chance to see how cool we are. Our cool self being our true self.
Because much like Molly, I hid away during college before the pandemic made us have to hide and isolate. But during my first two years of college when I could be around people, I always stayed in my dorm room because I didn’t know how to do college because I was in a new environment, I didn’t know many people or had a lot of friends, and I was sad and terrified to be away from home. People were having this fun college experience—-the experience I dreamed about having because of movies—-but I hid away because I got in my own way and in my own head of thinking that I didn’t know anyone so I wasn’t going to go anywhere or do anything. I mean, if I got out more and put myself out there, then yea, maybe my experience would have been different. But I didn’t. I was depressed my first year of college and barely holding on my second year of college. Because part of me didn’t even give college a try before I already gave up—before I ever gave it a real chance.
And if I could change one thing about my college experience besides there being no pandemic, it would have been to put myself out there to try.
Your first year of college is the most terrifying and weirdest transition in your life. NO one prepares you for how difficult and alone it can feel. It’s so easy to hide away and say that you don’t need anyone and to focus on yourself. But the easy way, can also be the loneliest way, the unhappiest. Putting yourself out there and trying things is scary, but at least you know you’re not the only one trying—that you’re not alone. Y
ou have to give an opportunity a chance before you turn it away or shy away from it. You have to let people give you a chance before you write yourself off.
I was happy when her brother gave her the push she needed to go to the party because Molly needed to hear it.
“But I know what happens if I stay home. Nothing changes . . . I have to give myself a chance. I have to give them a chance, just like Noah said.”
(pg. 91)
Such sound advice 👌🏼💛.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
That’s a hard truth that even I need to remember more.
Also, it’s not only about giving yourself a chance, but allowing others to give you one too before judging them and saying they won’t give you a chance.
I felt like a proud mama bear that Molly did go to the party. When she got there, I loved how she was looking for the exits for if she needed to leave or how she had a cup full of coke because she wanted to be conscious about what she did and her surroundings. Honestly, you do what you need to to do feel comfortable and safe in a situation that is already outside of your comfort zone. But what got me was how Molly hung around the Ping-Pong tables because she thought Cora would be there, and then a Ping-Pong ball hit her forehead and fell I her cup and then all the attain was on her. I was cringing. Oh no! Attention was not good because I knew it would freak Molly out.
When she ran to the bathroom in a panic and started taking her makeup off and talking herself down, I was like, “No no no, Molly you can do this!” I was literally rooting for Molly. She already had gone so much farther than I have—she had more courage than me in college. I thought it was sweet how she also called her mom because she needed someone to calm her racing nerves and her mom was her best friend. There was nothing wrong about talking to her mom in a bathroom at a party, and no, I don’t say that sarcastically. Sis, was at her first college party and was freaking-out. I would have called a parental too if I needed someone to talk to. I loved how her mom was so chill too about Molly being at a party with drinking and music. We love parental support 👏🏼!
Molly did find Cora at the party. She also met Alex.
Cora was this spunky girl from high school Molly always had a crush on.
To be quite honest, Cora seemed like an awesome and cool person—super nice—-but for the entire book, I kept wondering WHY did Molly like Cora? 😅 You know?
What about Cora did Molly like?
Do you hear that?
Crickets.
Yea, me too.
Because Molly never had a solid reason of why she liked Cora. besides she was pretty and nice. Anyone can be pretty and nice, so what made Cora different?
The thing was I felt like Cora had to have been pretty and nice to Molly and that made Molly feel special and important and Molly started to have a crush on her because she wanted to feel like someone cared and loved her for her. Molly was infatuated with the idea of Cora—-a girl like her—-liking Molly back.
And I say none of this to judge Molly because I’ve been there done that—-liked the idea of a guy and romanticized the heck out of the situation 😂, but seriously I’m a hopeless romantic, it’s my thing. I say this from a place of understanding. But also a place of I just didn’t think Molly needed to work as hard as she did to get Cora to notice her or like her when Molly was already awesome as she was and she just needed to be more comfortable showing people her true self. If Cora didn’t like Molly or see Molly all this time, honestly, Cora probably wasn’t the one for her.
But I went with it because this was Molly’s journey and a love story, so we needed some DRAMA.
The never have I ever game at the party was sure as heck not the move. I felt bad for Molly because she won each round, which yes, is not a good thing in some books. I would have been like Molly in this situation, but I just felt absolutely awful for Molly after Alex called her out for being. a virgin like that. Someone’s virginity is no one’s place to judge. Absolteluly not. I thought that was a di** move on Alex’s part. It wasn’t like Molly was trying to be mean or judgement towards Alex and all her experiences. Molly was just trying to choose things other people might have not done too so she wasn’t the only one, and she was more curious about Alex than judgy. Okay, maybe a bit judgey because she didn’t know this new person.
It was that night that sparked some tension between Alex and Molly and began their journey as partners in crime to friends to lovers. But I’m going to talk more about that in their joint section.
I was incurably proud too of Molly for putting herself out there and trying as the book progressed. I was so happy for her when she had conversations with people and she didn’t overthink them. Look at her go. It’s just amazing what happens when you get out of your own head and out of your won way. I think of that moment when Molly saw this girl in her dorm room and they started talking and then that girl invited Molly to play Ping-Pong or to the hall game night thing that that girl wanted to start. I really loved that moment because it was such a normal conversation for Molly and for her to feel like she had people to talk to, made my heart happy. I also loved when Molly went to events or things because it made her feel like her college dreams came true.
“It’s everything I hoped college could be but never actually believed it would be after I walked into that single on move-in day.
It’s everything I’ve been waiting for but somehow so much more.”
(pg. 285)
Not me gushing over how happy I was for Molly 🥺💛.
Not to be selfish in any way shape or form, but I couldn’t help but think of myself and how much I wanted the dream college experience also, and how I didn’t have that. But to know that Molly did and that she was finding her footing, made my heart so so happy because she deserved it. She was such a great person and she didn’t see the way others saw her.
I want to circle back to Molly navigating college life by finding independence.
Molly’s independence was a key part of Molly’s arc.
Being a young adult, naturally you want more independence, or most people do. Especially if you have never really left home. Molly wanted her independence to figure out what being an adult meant to her. I understood that a lot, mostly my sophomore year of college when I started to adjust to living on my own. I realized how much more responsibilities I had to take care of myself that I took for granted when I was home. Growing up is full of unexpected responsibilities that no one, not even school, really prepares you for. It wasn’t so much of taking care of herself that Molly struggled with because she was an organized person, it was separating or creating boundaries with her mom.
*sigh*
What do I even say for this?
I loved Molly’s relationship with her mom. IN the beginning I found it incredibly sweet how the mom was so worried about Molly leaving and how she was packing the whole kitchen again. I mean, why did Molly need a whisk in her dorm room? But the mom was just feeling the natural nerves of her child moving without her and Molly not being fully prepared. Even though the brother already left, it was harder for the mom to let go of Molly because Molly was her best friend and how much more she worried about life taking advantage of Molly. Because Molly hadn’t had all these experiences before and the mom knew Molly’s personality, she worried more about how Molly would adjust and if she would be okay. So that’s why the mom was coddling her and was holding onto Molly more. She just wanted to protect her daughter and be there.
I know the mom had good intentions about helping Molly unpack her dorm, but I also could feel Molly wanting to do everything by herself to prove that she could. But I loved loved loved how the mom left her a note with the whisk 🥺. Her mom did love and care for her.
The way Molly saw it was that her mom was holding on too tightly and smothering her. I think Molly also felt like her mom needed to find her own friend and do her own thing because she was adult now.
As a human being, I know where Molly’s mom was coming from. As someone who had been in Molly’s shoes, I know exactly where Molly was coming from too. I understand more how Molly felt because I went through a similar situation with my dad in how the older I got the more space I realized I needed because I wanted to figure out how to be an adult and what that meant for me. But I felt like my dad treated me like his little girl with always texting or calling or checking in on what I was eating or doing. I know those check-ins came from a place of love and worry, but when you’re constantly asked those questions, it almost feels like they don’t trust you to take care of yourself or that you are still a kid. No young adult wants to be treated like a kid. I didn’t want to be treated like a kid. So I was angry and that created tension with my dad because he didn’t know why I was angry at him when he thought he was just looking after me.
But the thing is, adult and parental relationships does change the dynamic because no, that kid is not a kid anymore. And it’s hard because the parent will always view their adult-kid as a kid they need to take care of—it’s their instinct. It’s extremely tough to navigate adult and parent relationships—extremely difficult. But one thing I heard over and over again from podcasts and friends and siblings was that you have to create boundaries. You have to also communicate those boundaries because if you hold onto all that anger, it will cause a rift in your relationship with your parent that doesn’t need to be there if only you talked to them about being older and needing space—-setting those boundaries. Your parents should understand that you are an adult and to respect that space—-that they were your age once too and also needed that. From there, you can create those healthy boundaries of when to talk or how many times they can check in. I think once you set those boundaries and both parts stick to them, the relationship can form into a healthy adult and parent relationship.
The relationship is going to be different because the situation is different now. Being an adult is different. But it takes work and communication. It also takes knowing what you need to do that is best for you.
I wish I knew all of this sooner because I kept all my anger and hurt in for years until I did cause a rift in my relationship with my dad because I was tired of feeling like he didn’t trust me to be an adult. I think when you create those boundaries, your parents start to see you as an adult and they let go more because they know you can take care of yourself and will be okay. I mean, how else can you show them that you will if they don’t give you the space to try. But I just think that it’s hard to find a new dynamic with your parents as adult because it’s no longer, I-have-to-follow-your-rules—under their control—-but I-have-my -own-rules-and-I-need -you-to-respect-that.
Molly kept in all her anger and let it build too.
Once Molly grew a social life, she started to talk less and less to her mom, and that only made her mom reach out more and more. The mom wasn’t used to not talking to her daughter, but she was probably also worried if Molly was doing okay. However, as someone who had been through this, the mom should have given Moly her space. Btu then again, Molly hadn’t communicated that with her until much later. So how was the mom supposed to know that what she was doing was making Molly upset. Molly just kept getting mad at her mom for talking to her or trying to find a way to spend time with her, and it’s like, “Well, Molly, you didn’t tell your mom to not.” Her mom thought Molly still needed a friend.
It made me kind of sad for Molly’s mom because not only did her daughter move away and now she had an empty nest, she was also being ghosted. The mom felt like she was forgotten. And also, the mom lost her best friend too when Molly left. So she was going through a hard transition as a parent. Honestly, you can feel my viscera in this situation because I genuine understand where a parent comes from but also a child. It’s just the whole parental and child-adult relationship transition of growing up is complicated. It really is, and no one takes about it that much.
Towards the end, Molly did have ac conversation with her mom—a much needed conversation I knew they needed have.
If I’m being quite honest, I knew Molly was bottling up her repressed anger at her mom so it didn’t surprise me how she spewed out her feelings to her. However, I believed the way Molly initiated that conversation with her mom felt a bit unexpected from the mom’s perspective because she knew something was different with her relationship with her daughter, but didn’t know what until now. Molly yelling at her mom felt like a surprise attack in some ways, so just a thought that Molly could have eased into the conversation a bit better than going all out. But again, I probably would have spewed out my feelings the same way because when you bottle things up, they have no where to go. but out.
“When I’m around you now, I feel like I just revert back to the person I don’t want to be anymore.”
(pg.344)
Can someone call a medic because I feel PUCHED in the gut 😅?
No, but seriously, I felt that, Molly.
I don’t know, it just feels like when you’re a young adult or an adult in general, that there’s certain versions of you with certain people. When I’m around my parents, I know that there’s a big part of me that still feels like a child, a repressed, shy, uncomfortable child given my upbringing. But when I’m around other people (the right people), I feel comfortable being myself and being a bit louder or unfiltered because those people never made me feel wrong for being who I was. I have found whenever I am around the wrong people or my family, I revert back to this shy, hurt girl that I was because that’s how they always made me feel and I don’t like that I feel that way. But I do. And I can’t help it because that’s what certain people do for me, and I just feel like I can’t be myself or the person I always wanted to be. For Molly, she felt the same way because her mom connected her to her past—to a version of herself that felt shy and reserved—and that wasn’t who Molly wanted to be anymore or who she probably never was, but felt like she had to be.
It’s weird how sometimes people can make you be different versions of yourself—for good or for bad.
Molly wanted to be this new version of herself but her mom made her feel like she couldn’t—-that she had to live in the past as this version her mom wanted her to be or the version her mom was comfortable with.
But Molly was grown up.
There was also the cultural racism and discomfort Molly and the mom felt.
The mom got all uncomfortable at the mall when Molly and Alex wanted to eat at a Korean place—-very rude and weird behavior considering how nice the mom was. But when Molly opened up about her mom was otherized and bullied with racist comments and racist behavior from others, it was no wonder the mom felt uncomfortable in her own culture. It broke my heart the way the mom resented or was afraid of her culture because people made her feel that way. With all the Asian hate in the past few years, I really felt for the mom because people can be so rude and want to make others feel inferior. But no one should ever ever ever make anyone feel like they do not belong or who they are is wrong. We shouldn’t exclude people because of their culture or blame them for something that they did not do. It frustrates and infuriates me the amount of hate other cultures besides face every freaking day because other people don’t have the compassion or acceptance within them to understand that everyone celebrates and does things differently and there is nothing wrong with that. The world is so much more beautiful and lively because of our diversity. We wouldn’t have the same music, food, fashion, technology without other cultures and yet we make them feel smaller?
That’s a whole other conversation I can rage about because I feel passionately. I am an Asian and I fear going out every day too because of the hate Asians get or the way people stare at us like we don’t belong. It’s terrifying. No one should have to fear stepping outside of their house, let alone a kid. What kind of person goes up to a little Korean girl like that (the mom) and threatens them at gun point?!!! No wonder the mom hated her culture and was traumatized. I would have felt that way too.
She linked her culture as the culprit of the fear or shame in her life, so she repressed it. But Molly was interested in her Korean roots—she didn’t want to feel embarrassed or ashamed by it. However, Molly did because the mom was ashamed by being Korean, so that’s all Molly has ever known. I liked how Molly mentioned how she wanted to be seen as Korean and to not let other people stop her from being proud of her heritage because she should be proud. But that’s so tough to break that idea that you hate your heritage because of the fear that others instill in you. I could only imagine how difficult it was for the mom, and I don’t think she ever wanted to feel that way.
The conversation between Molly and the mom was needed and I really hoped that they could find a healthier relationship now that Molly was older.
But it’s hard. Growing up involves many changes, but until I actually went through it, I never realized that one of the hardest things to do is to also navigate what it means to have a relationship with your parent.
🍔🚲📖 Alex + Molly 💗🛼🌈
Now, now, the thing I alluded to this whole blog post—-Alex and Molly together.
They had a rough beginning with the whole never have I ever game, but the whole plan really did bring them together. We all knew they were going to end up falling in love with each other.
Alex’s intention for helping Moly was so that Alex could prove to Natalie that she had changed and wasn’t flirtatious, but had friends. And Molly also wanted to get the girl. Because Alex was confident, Alex was going to help Molly bring out her confidence to win the person Molly always wanted to be with. Even though Alex’s intention was different, I also knew that along the way Molly would bring out the vulnerability in Alex because Molly was nonjudgmental and easy to talk to. Also, Molly wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable and open, so my first thought was that Alex would pick up on how Molly could do so.
“I just want you to be more you, instead of a little ball of quiet anxiety in the corner of the party.”
(pg. 121)
I really admired what Alex said here because most people would try to change another person into someone they are not in these type of transformations or plans. But I loved how Alex never wanted to change Molly, but bring out what she knew was always within Molly. When someone sees you for you, accepts you for you, and sees all that you can be, I believe that is true love because no one should change you for them to love you, but bring out the best in you.
I loved Alex.
There were just too many funny moments in this whole fake five step plan 😂. But I LOVED it.
I freaking cracked up at step one of Molly getting a person’s number.
I loved how Molly picked the least likely person to give Alex her number, but then Alex charmed that woman with the low bun and briefcase and even made her laugh. I loved how Molly was so gobsmacked and floundered for words of how Alex could do that. I also laughed with how smooth Alex was about ordering the same drink and pulling the, I-thought-this-was-my-drink-but-let’s-accidentally-touch-hands-move. I could not. Smooth 😂.
I also laughed with how Molly was so adamant about not being able to get someone’s number and then Alex was like, “Go ask that boy over there reading the book.” And Molly was like but I’m gay and then Alex was like, “I’m not asking you to suck his BLEEP.” 😂 Molly Molly Molly. Makes me crack up.
Oh, and don’t get me stared on when Molly tried to do what Alex did to that girl with the rainbow pin on her backpack 😂!!!!! I COULD NOT. I just knew that Molly was going to mess up. And I freaking could not when she also ordered the same thing and tried to reach for the drink at the same time and spilled the coffee on the girl 😂. Poor thing. Both of them. My gosh. I would have done the same—I’m not smooth at all. I also would have felt mortified if I were Molly. Also, not Alex literally saying that was hard to watch. Hahahaha.
But I thought it was cute when that guy she knew stopped to help Molly pick up the book Alex purposely dropped. What a nice guy, and the way I felt like he was looking at Molly? She couldn’t see how great a catch she was to others. But I was so proud of her for actually getting someone’s number even if it was for tutoring purposes. I just couldn’t imagine even myself having the courage to do that, so go her! I also really loved how Alex was so proud and happy for Molly because she knew how big a deal it was for Molly to step out of her comfort zone to do these things. I really loved that anytime Molly did accomplish something, Alex was her biggest cheerleader.
“Alex Blackwood and Molly Parker. Not quite friends, but . . . maybe w’re getting there.”
(pg. 148)
Throughout their journey, they did become fast friends, and I loved seeing totem be open and honest with each other and how easy it was for them to be themselves. I loved how they could talk about random things and just walk and not have a care in the world. I really liked that one night when they talked about their favorite movies, celebrities, and all these things and how they got to know each other. They were more alike than they knew, and it surprised them how much they had in common.
I also loved how both didn’t feel judged, but they liked being around each other. That’s what truly makes a good friend.
I freaking also could not with how Alex actually made Molly go to rugby try-outs because Cora was trying out. I freaking laughed my head off (not really)! I just felt if I were Molly and someone forced me to try out for rugby without me knowing I was trying out and without even knowing the sport, I would have felt CONFUSED 🤪. Poor thing.
When Molly got tackled, I was like, DARN.
Yikes.
I saw that coming.
But nothing says romantic more than getting flattened like a pancake and having someone come to your rescue. I liked how Cora was there for Molly after she got smashed to the ground, and how they had a cute little doctor and patient moment. I also was so FREAKING happy for Molly because a perfect opening came for her to get Cora’s number, which was the goal. Sucks that Molly had to get pounded like a dough bread to get a girls number, but I guess no pain, no gain 😂. I’m joking.
It was also sweet how Alex ran to get Molly ice for her sure as heck present bruise on her ribs.
I also could not with how Alex and Noah teamed up to help Molly figure out what to text Cora. I loved loved loved how Alex and Noah got along so well too—that they were pratciaml besties. Also, if your brother doesn’t meddle in your love life with your best friend, then he should 🤪. Even though Molly didn’t know what to text at first, I really liked how she did figure out her own texting groove that felt more like her. Because Noah and Alex could text all they wanted, but if it wasn’t coming from Molly, the texts weren’t genuine. So I liked how she trusted herself to text what she wanted.
I also loved when Alex and Molly made palachinkas at Noah’s house 💛. What a sweet and fun moment. I loved how Alex tried to show off by flipping the palachinka but then it fell flat on the floor and made a mess. I freaking cracked up with how she blamed Molly for it 😂. But what a fun, wholesome moment.
The second step in the plan: dress to impress was a big confident moment for Molly.
I loved how when they went to the mall, Alex could talk Molly’s mom into letting Molly shop with her. It made sense though that Molly had always gone shopping with her mom and maybe that was why her clothes weren’t as catered to Molly’s age because Molly just went with what her mom thought was good. But Molly should have fun with her fashion and find something that felt good.
When she put on those jeans that mad her feel like a thick queen, I was living for it! I mean, a good pair of jeans does make all the difference 👏🏼!!! When she also checked out her butt, I was like, “YES, YOU MOLLY!” You feel yourself. I don’t know, just as someone who has also went through a I’ll-wear-hand-me-downs or whatever stage and to really finding a love for fashion because I started to finally feel confident to explore clothes I wanted to wear, I know how much a good outfit can boost your confident. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves and we have different ways of feeling that from makeup, working out, or fashion. I found more confidence with fashion because you can express who you are through colors, prints, or styles. Fashion is fun as it should be. I loved that Molly was finding herself and her confidence in fashion.
Also, not her and Alex sharing a dressing room 😉???!?!?!!??!
I mean, I know they were friends, but also, I have never shared a dressing room with a friend. But also, it’s not like I’m social enough that I go shopping with friends 🙈. Yes, I am dull as water.
But when they looked at each other without each other’s tops on, there sure was some SPARKS!
And that my friend, was the day they finally felt something more than platonic for each other and I was here for it.
The sparks also came from the intimate moments they shared.
I loved when Alex took Molly to the library. I really did. The library was Alex’s safe space, so the fact that she felt safe to share that space with Molly was monumental. The library was also where Alex opened up about growing up with her mom drinking and how she didn’t like to feel pitied or weak. It broke my heart that Alex was afraid of how Molly would perceive her—broken like everyone else. I think if someone makes you feel broken for your past, then they don’t know how to love. you and don’t deserve that love. Because no one is broken. People go through things that break them, but they are not the breakage themselves. They are all those pieces trying to be whole again and as people we should be the ones trying to help them mend. Not telling them that they are broken, sending the message that they aren’t good enough for love.
I wanted to hug Alex in this moment because it was a lot for her to tell Molly her truth. I never knew how draining but freeing opening up could be. But I was proud of her.
The third part of the plan was asking Cora out. So to help, Alex told Molly to go on a fake date with her.
I LOVE A FAKE DATE.
We know it’s deep down real!
I loved how the fake date was really Molly’s time to shine with taking Alex roller blading. I loved how Molly got all dolled up and cute—even wearing make-up—and how stunned Alex was to see Molly in a different light. I also loved how when they got to the roller rink, how Molly was so freaking confident (which I loved) in checking Alex’s roller blades to make sure they looked good. I think it helped Molly to know she was good at roller blading and to look good because she was in her element. She was giving me confident queen vibes and I loved that for Molly. I also loved how Alex didn’t know how to skate, and she was so scared to let go of the wall. Molly teased her by skating backwards and looking at her with a goofy smile. Honestly, I would be Alex in this situation because I don’t know how to skate either. I think about all the times that my school would go on field trips to the ice rink in town and how everyone seemed to know how to skate, but there I was in the kiddie section with these weaker things to hold onto. Whenever I did venture to the free skate side, I would always need to hold onto the wall or someone for balance.
But this moment between them brought me back to those good? memories. Haha. I loved when Molly held Alex’s hand because what a good date mood! Holding hands and helping the person who didn’t know how to skate, skate? That’s great. Molly was a pro at first date. I wanted to scream at how Alex talked about how her heart picked up when Molly held her hand! We know she was feeling some butterflies and it wasn’t because she didn’t know how to skate.
I loved how happy they were together and the light and airy feel I got 🥺.
But I CACKLED at the limbo part.
Not Alex actually hitting her head on the limbo bar and conking herself to the floor 😂.
She really couldn’t go low 😂.
It was also hilarious how everyone just paused and there was a beat of silence, and they were like, “OOOH!” 😂 A silence for her head.
I could not. I felt terrible at how funny that moment was. But I was happy Alex and Molly could laugh about it and how they just had such good energy with each other. Their roller blading date was so cute and I loved every second of it. This part was probably my second favorite part of the book.
I loved how they wanted the night to keep going—-because there are just some nights or days you just never want to end-. I loved when they went back to the library—-the part where Alex opened up about her childhood even more. I liked how Molly told Alex this:
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s that you have to go after what you want or nothing will change.”
(pg. 289)
Look at Molly learning from this whole experience 👏🏼.
Her thought reminded me of a previous quote I wrote in Molly’s section about how nothing changes if nothing changes. Molly wanted Alex to know that she should go after what she was passionate about and not chase being a doctor—that she should change her life and do what makes her happy. It’s funny to think how Alex also feared the same thing Molly did but for a different reason. Bu they could both learn from each other. People change people, and people learn from each other.
My heart practically melted when Molly felt also told Alex how much she meant to her.
“‘You drive me absolutely crazy, but. . . . you’re the best friend I’ve ever had,’ I tell her, my voice shaking a little.”
(pg. 287)
MOLLY 🥺!!!!!
I could cry!
Alex wanted to cry! I saw her tears forming!
But knowing how Molly didn’t have any friends besides her mom and how much she wanted a friend . . . it just made my heart feel all the warm fuzzies because she had a friend—a best friend—in Alex. And that meant the world to her that she finally met someone who understood her, accepted her, and brought out the best version of her.
I loved that 💛.
Also, knowing that they loved each other and were going to be in a relationship (because duh, that’s where the book was heading), it just meant a lot that they were friends—-best friends—-before they fell in love with each other. Or that they loved each other because they were best friends and felt like the best, most authentic version of themselves with each other. They do say marry your best friend.
They were really robbed a kiss at the library.
Dang Cora! Had to text and ruin the moment!!!! There was sparks!!!! Honestly, the fact that Alex had to convince herself that she didn’t like Molly that way and to focus on Natalie was a tell within itself. You liked her you dumb dumb 😂.
But then the whole Natalie concert thing happened.
Cora had texted Molly to ask her out, but then Molly asked Cora to go to the concert thing instead of a study date, which was a better idea.
After Molly told Alex that she didn’t like Natalie, Alex went on the defensive and said something that really stabbed Molly through the heart and it made me sad because they just had a nice friendship moment.
“We don’t have to pretend we give a sh** about each other.”
(pg. 309)
DON’T You DARE tell Molly that this friendship didn’t matter and that it was fake!!!!!!!!!!
I could not—not in a good way.
Molly was just literally tearing up the other day about how grateful she was for Alex and their friendship and Alex had to go and insinuate that their friendship wasn’t even real because all Alex was doing was trying to help her get the girl. HOW DARE SHE.
Not to Molly’s first real friend ☹️.
How does Alex sleep at night.
I was mad—furious for Molly.
But after Molly ran out of the club and Natalie and Alex went back to her apartment, Alex had that epiphany I talked about earlier.
Now all Alex had to do was make it up to Molly because gosh knows she screwed up big time by ruining her friendship with Molly.
I liked how the grand gesture wasn’t instantaneous because Alex didn’t know what to say to Molly. That was very honest of her to say because sometimes grand gestures happen in book where the main character expresses their love in the most profound way, which I love, but also, it’s more realistic that not all grand gestures be this whole elaborate know-all thing. Alex didn’t know what to do. I found it hard to watch Alex fade into the background of Molly’s life because she wasn’t sure if Molly wanted to see her anymore. I did love how Alex did try by biking to Noah’s house, asking if Molly was there. I also loved how Noah thanked Alex for helping Molly figure out who she was 🥺. I told you I loved Noah and Alex’s relationship.
But what made my heart sad was when Alex didn’t find Molly and then she thought o herself that she didn’t deserve happiness or that she didn’t want to ruin MOlly’s happiness with Cora.
“Still a part of me is searching for her . . . Wanting nothing more than to have her just feel happy and like she’s completely herself.
And loving her just enough to have Cora be the person to give her that instead of me.”
(pg. 353)
Did I not say Alex was the most selfless person ever?
She was going to step back on someone she loved because she wanted them to be happy even if that person wasn’t her. That broke my heart because Alex did love Molly—-could actually for sure say she did unlike with Natalie—and here she was sacrificing her happiness yet again. If someone loves you to let you go because they know that will make you happy, that is true love. When Alex went to the library to cry, I wanted to cry with her. Not only because I felt sad that she was letting Molly go because she loved her, but because of all she had been through the past few days.
But it helped to know Molly was also not so happy.
She focused on Cora now that Cora and her were kind of a thing, but I could feel that Molly wasn’t into Cora the same way she was because she romanticized this relationship with Cora for so long that Cora wasn’t who she thought she was and the relationship wasn’t what Molly wanted anymore. Molly didn’t feel like her heart was beating fast around Cora because she had lost feelings about her, or maybe she never had real feelings in the first place. And then there was the fact that Cora and Molly had absolutely nothing in common.
Cora liked rugby and Molly liked roller blading and ping pong.
Cora liked theater music and Molly repulsed it. But she tolerated it for Cora.
Cora liked vibrant things while Molly wasn’t really swayed by those things but she tried a new fashion for Cora.
Molly was never being herself around Cora, continuing to change who she was to be a person Cora liked. But she had someone out there who did like her for her.
Alex.
It’s funny how every Molly’s mom knew that it was Alex too, and that Molly shouldn’t have to change herself to be loved. Mother’s intuition knows best, always.
It wasn’t until Cora actually leaned into kiss Molly at that art gallery that Molly wasn’t even interested in going to in the first place, that Molly realized that she didn’t want to be with Cora in that way.
Honestly, BAD TIMING 🤪.
Not going to lie.
From Cora’s perspective, Molly gave her all these signals that she liked her, and then all of a sudden she pulled away. I would have felt mortified and upset if I was Cora because it wasn’t fair on her.
But yikes.
“It could never be. Because the Cora I thought I could love existed only in my head. She wasn’t real. And while she’s still gorgeous, and funny, and magnetic . . .
For the first time, I get it.
I understand.
There’s a difference between a fantasy and, well . . .
Love.”
(pg. 361-2)
Sis should have had this epiphany sooner 🙈.
She did not just friend zone the girl she always wanted to be with when she finally had a chance. But things happen in life that we don’t expect.
I loved the whole Cinderella-esque moment of Molly leaving the art gallery in a red sparkly dress and heels to go find Alex. I loved how she saw Alex’s bright orange bike and knew she was at the library. I also really liked the reversal in how Alex tried to chase Molly but then stepped back, but now it was Molly chasing Alex even though Alex was the one who should have made it up to Molly first.
I liked how they both were trying because they loved each other.
I loved that moment as Molly was running into the library how she thought that every road let her to Alex.
I also loved loved loved that they FINALLY kissed in the library!!!!!! What a full circle moment, a special moment too
“‘Well, I guess I got the girl after all,’ she says.
‘See? I told you my plan would work.’
(pg. 370)
They both got the girl they never thought they would wanted or could get.
I loved them together because they brought out the best in each other, and that is pure love. I really loved the way Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick built Molly and Alex’s relationship as so, and all these complexities that got in the way of their relationship before them realizing that they wanted to be together or that they were each other’s person. I also appreciated how they were friends before they were lovers because friendship is the strongest foundation for a relationship. Also, I loved the side stories of Jim and Alex’s mom and Molly and her mom because they were both going through different things but they were both able to navigate it with support and through love. They also had difficult conversations, which is what happens when you are going through something, but what happens afterward leads to healing.
Just what a beautifully written and lovely story 💛.
I have to say the only thing I wanted to know more about was what happened to Cora after Molly ran to Alex. Were Cora and Molly going to be okay or were they not going to be friends anymore 😅. I also wanted to see more of Alex and Molly after they finally were together. I hope we do in the future.
I also hope that Alex pursues literature as her major or writing rather than studying medicine. I wonder if she will still work at the food truck with Jim, and how her relationship will evolve with her mom. I wonder how Molly’s relationship with her mom will evolve too. A lot of good things to think about because good books leave you curious and wanting more.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? What did you think of the book?
What is your ideal first date? I think maybe a picnic or a walking and just talking because there’s nothing better than getting to know a person and just talking. Oh, and duh, going to a book store.
Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
4.98 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Two very different characters with so much depth and growth. I loved Alex so much for her strength and selflessness and Molly for her courage and kindness.
Plot: Enemies to friends to lovers with drama in between and many sweet moments that had me gushing. Also, unexpectedly a lot of real issues people face with going from a teenager to young adult.
Writing: Full of growth, complexities, strength, and so much love. I genuinely love Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick’s writing as it crafted a wholesome and captivating story.
Romance: Nothing says romance than dating your best friend who brings out the best in you