Serena Singh Flips the Switch by Sonya Lalli Book Review
“Because it was other people who made life meaningful.”
(pg. 192)
About
Author: Sonya Lalli
Genre: New Adult Romance
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Synopsis
Serena Singh is tired of everyone telling her what she should want–and she is ready to prove to her mother, her sister, and the aunties in her community that a woman does not need domestic bliss to have a happy life.
Things are going according to plan for Serena. She’s smart, confident, and just got a kick-ass new job at a top advertising firm in Washington, D.C. Even before her younger sister gets married in a big, traditional wedding, Serena knows her own dreams don’t include marriage or children. But with her mother constantly encouraging her to be more like her sister, Serena can’t understand why her parents refuse to recognize that she and her sister want completely different experiences out of life.
A new friendship with her co-worker, Ainsley, comes as a breath of fresh air, challenging Serena’s long-held beliefs about the importance of self-reliance. She’s been so focused on career success that she’s let all of her hobbies and close friendships fall by the wayside. As Serena reconnects with her family and friends–including her ex-boyfriend–she learns letting people in can make her happier than standing all on her own.
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To the empowered individual,
This book was nothing what I thought it was going to be about in a surprisingly endearing and good way. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t drawn to the cover of the book—-shoutout to the graphic artist who designed/drew such a stunning cover. Looking at the cover alone, I thought the book was a typical new adult romance with smut, drama, maybe enemies-to-lovers. I briefly glanced at the synopsis, so I wasn’t too sure what the book was about. I don’t know, reading a book without knowing what it’s about is pure fun. I highly recommend trying it.
Serena Singh was a strong character who knew what she wanted and she wasn’t going to let societal norms and expectations get in the way of living the life she wanted. She was flipping the script as they say 😉. She was also flipping the script as a women, and a women of color, yet alone a Southeast Asian women of color. I just want to say I admire and respect Serena because she basically had to work against everything and everyone to be where she was today—-a highly resounded creative director for a booming company 👏🏼. She was a woman, and women in this world don’t have it easy in this patriarchal society because we have to keep proving that we belong in the spaces we occupy. Serena was also an Asian woman who not many would also respect or take seriously because of prejudiced ideas. Also, being an Indian woman meant she had an entire cultural expectation on her since the day she was born.
Sonya Lalli discussed the expectations Serena faced as an Indian woman. Serena was supposed to be the care taker, the baby mama, and the stay at home mom. She was supposed to cook roti, clean house, take care of the family, and all these traditional ideas for a woman. I think these tradition ideas for a woman is very limiting because women don’t just pop babies, cook, clean, and look pretty. Women are strong, capable, hard-working individuals who honestly can do any gosh darn thing they set their minds to. But for centuries, women were never given the time and space to be strong individuals because society put women in a box—their home—and said stay there as a way to control them. Well, we live in the 21st century and I’ll be frazzled if we still believe women can’t do anything with their life besides stay home.
Serena’s mom, Sandeep, was a prime example of having the traditional role of a woman. To be honest, I didn’t quite get the need for the random Sandeep chapters, but I understood at the end how maybe the Sandeep chapters were included to highlight the mom’s experiences as an immigrant and her emotions as a woman. I thought it was interesting how the mom would sometimes talk about the cultural barrier and fear she felt. I am currently taking a multilingual learners (MLL) class for my education major, and one of the topics we discussed was how sometimes MLL families and students feel this fear to communicate because they don’t know what to say or if they will be embarrassed for saying something wrong. Think about all the times you have been to a country or listened to a conversation that was not in a language you understood. Amplify that by a thousand different emotions and experiences, and I think that’s part of how families who speak a different language feel every day. That’s not easy. It’s intimidating. The mom felt intimidated and unsure of how to present herself, act, and communicate in a world that she didn’t grow up in. I honestly respect the mom and dad because they had to learn another culture and possibly another language to adopt to the dominant culture while also maintaining their roots. But I could understand how Sandeep also felt out of place compared to Natasha and Serena because they knew the American culture and language more easily than the parents did, and that made Sandeep felt left behind. She was doing her best.
Also with Sandeep, I respected her as a mom. She kept trying to be in Serena’s life. Sandeep also tried to be respectful and understanding of Serena’s wishes. At first, Sandeep wasn’t a big fan of Serena’s wishes of not getting married or having a family because that was what the mom wanted of Sandeep. As Serena, I could understand how pestering it can feel to have everyone around you ask when are you getting married or when are you having kids. I know people don’t mean to be rude when they ask these questions, but a lot of the times, these questions do come across rude because it is not anyone’s business when or if a person gets married or has kids. I also feel like assign these questions places pressure on that person to have it all figured out, and if they don’t, they are somehow failing their gender role. As someone who constantly gets asked, “Do I have a boyfriend?” I feel like I let people down when I say no. I don’t want to feel that way, but it feels like the other person wants me to be happy, but happiness doesn’t come from external relationships—-it can be supplemented by external relationships. But I just feel like I’m disappointing people, you know. And I could understand how Serena felt those spurts of like she was disappointing people as well, but it would be an even greater disappointment if she didn’t stay true to herself.
So I liked how Sandeep honored Serena and began to respect that Serena didn’t want to play the traditional woman. It was cute to be inside Sandeep’s head and to hear her thinking about what she should ask Serena in a way that won’t offend her; She was always careful with her words.It was also cute to see the lengths the mom would go to remember things Serena mentioned so she could bring Serena’s interests into the conversation. She really was a good mom 💛.
Serena also loved her mom immensely. However, Serena didn’t always show it the right way because deep down, we all knew Serena didn’t want to be the mom. Serena didn’t want to be the traditional Indian woman who stayed home, cooked Roti, bent to everyone’s will and request, and did all the housework and chores while the husband sat on some old recliner, drinking beer with his feet up, watching some sort of uninteresting sport 😂. You know who I’m talking about 🤪. I don’t want to be a woman who waits on the hand and feet of my partner either—-depending on the situation, of course. But if the guy can take care of himself, I will not gosh darn wait on his hand and feet. I felt like Serena despised the way her dad treated her mom—-like she was a maid rather than a person. I don’t blame Serena for feeling that way because it did seem like all the dad did was sit down on a chair and watched while the mom did the heavy lifting. He really couldn’t be bothered to help Sandeep out, which I didn’t appreciate. I think seeing her parents relationship like that, really turned Serena off from wanting a romantic relationship because if all she had to look forward to was being the one who does everything for a man, that wasn’t a life she wanted.
I mean, who could blame her for that?
Even though Serena loved the mom, she didn’t visit her as much because Serena didn’t like seeing her mom being taken advantage over—-stepped on and pushed over. She didn’t want to see the mom bend over backwards for everyone because it would only make her more frustrated that this was the mom’s life and the role the mom felt like she had to have because of tradition. If the mom wasn’t a housewife, what would she do with her life? I also think that it was difficult for Serena because she wanted to push the mom to be more than a housewife because she knew the mom had some inner-strength, but I believe Serena didn’t know if it was her place to stand up for her mom and alter tradition when the mom was comfortable with it. The best Serena could do was be there for the mom and try to stand up for her in anyway she could. I liked how Serena silently loved her mom and vice versa.
But what sort of surprised me was the deeper reason to why Serena had a complex relationship with her mom and dad. Whenever she would look at her dad, there was this anger I couldn’t place. Again, I just thought Serena resented her dad because he was a literal sack of potatoes who did nothing. I thought her looks were a death glare that said, “Do something you old fart rather than sit there and let your wife do everything.”But the dad abused the mom when she was younger. But the dad abused the mom when she was younger. The mom chose to stay with the dad.
When I read this part at the end, I felt like I truly understood Serena a lot more.
The dad got drunk one night and he yelled and hit the mom like the LOSER he was. Honestly, young Serena knew what was up when she came out of her room with her backpack ready to leave this SUCKER 😡.
“Eves wide, Serena stepped froward and set down the backpack. ‘Is it time to go?’
Sighing, Sandeep placed both hands on her daughter’s shoulders and then kissed teh top of her head.
‘It’s time to sleep.'”
(pg. 290)
Serena had a backpack because she was telling her mom, LET’S LEAVE THIS LOSER 👏🏼!
I’m sorry, I have no tolerance for anyone who abuses or hits anyone, and I don’t care how much I loved them. If you lay a finger on someone like that, I would go. But that’s just me because I don’t think there is any rational or justifiable excuse to hit someone you love, even if someone does it inebriated. There’s no excuse in my eyes. So to me, it’s complicated why Sandeep chose to stay with her husband. I understand why she stayed with her husband—-he felt sorry and regretful and would not hit the mom again. I guess, she truly loved the dad and gave him a second chance to prove himself. But I would have left because I think if someone can hit you once, they can sure hit you again because they know they can—-they know they have that power. And that is not a power I would let anyone have, a power no one, absolutely no one should have.
Because Serena saw the dad hit the mom and saw the mom stay, she had such an altered version of love that deeply effected her. I think Serena needed to go to therapy or something after seeing her parents fight in such a way because Serena obviously battles the trauma or repercussions of seeing such an unhealthy dynamic between two people who were supposed to “love” each other. The dad abusing the mom, made her distrustful of men, thus why she also doesn’t want to be a committed relationship. I don’t blame her because if she saw love as accepting people who hurt you, then it would make sense why she didn’t want that version of love—-or love in general. Also, if she saw love as forgiving someone who abused you, even once, then that might have made her see love as forgiving someone who doesn’t’ derisive it. That’s not a healthy mindset to have about love. Serena’s hesitancy with alcohol was also justified because her dad abused the mom in an inebriated state. But I think seeing the mom stay with the dad, hurt Serena more because she loved and respected her mom and didn’t see how a strong woman like her would stay with a man who was weak enough to hit a woman at an even weaker state of mind. I believe Serena thought that love made people forgive or made people weak, and she did not want to be weak in a world that already labeled her as inferior. Also, I don’t mean weak in a bad way, but weak in a way that maybe for love we become softer because we have a greater emotion for someone that overpowers hurt or pain. I also don’t judge anyone, but I caution everyone to look out for themselves and know that love should not hurt them as much as it should heal them—-to know that there are certain things that we should not accept as love.
I liked how Serena had a conversation with her mom at the end, because I think Serena was secretly mad that the mom would stay with the dad when he hurt her. I believe maybe Serena also couldn’t look at her mom without thinking about what the dad did to her and just accepting it too. I appreciated that the dad also tried to reach out to Serena at the end, and they had a brief heart-to-heart. I still do not entirely trust or forgive the dad’s actions even if he hasn’t drank or hit the mom. I do think though that the dad is on the right path with showing how he was a changed man rather than saying he was going to change and not actually changing—-actions speak louder than words. So good for the dad for trying to rectify the trauma and hurt he caused. But maybe, the mom and dad should go to couples therapy if they have unhurt issues to work through. I also think it will take time for Serena and the dad to build a trusting and loving relationship because seeing someone who was supposed to be the “protector” and strong person of the family, abuse the mom, wasn’t a good sight.
I will say, the dad was cute in how he showed support for Serena with collecting a box of all her accomplishments. I liked how he was a proud father even if he didn’t voice it because he knew Serena was mad at him. Honestly, he should have had a conversation with Serena years ago, regarding what he did to the mom because maybe they could have moved forward sooner. But I guess it’s better late then never.
But because Serena grew up with such a complicated image of love, it further explained why she didn’t want to get married and have a family.
There was all the expectation that Serena would be married and have a family. I think it’s an Asian thing (I’m Asian), but we value big families, or families in general. I think it’s because we are a collectivist culture where we put family first, so naturally, parents or grandparents are eager for a baby in the family. Usually most people want a boy because boys carry on the family name. As Sonya Lalli mentioned, I have heard in some cultures they sort of mourn when there is a baby girl because she won’t carry on the family name. I heard parents back then would feel disappointed too because girls were not “strong” and couldn’t do much besides get married as a way to create relationships with families. I just wanted to mention gender is a social contruct and can chance. But in terms of talking about gender in the past, I used the terms boy and girl. So I felt like there was even more pressure on Serena as the eldest daughter to marry because that would be her “duty” as a woman. But that’s not fair to her because not everyone wants that life.
I don’t see anything wrong with someone saying they don’t want to start a family or get married. Some people don’t want those things and that’s okay. It’s their life. I don’t feel like it’s okay to make people feel ashamed or guilty for not wanting a family or a lifelong partner. People should be able to live the lives they want to lead and I liked how Serena did that for herself. However, I could also understand her hesitation with not wanting to settle down and have a family because it would always put her on a different path in life compared to her friends.
“A woman’s work or worth—it would never be enough.”
(pg. 97)
I know so many Serena’s in my life, and that saddens me. I have a professor who I highly respect and admire. She’s an Asian woman and she spoke to our class about how she felt like she had to receive her doctorate to finally feel like she was good enough or educated enough compared to her male counterparts in the educational profession. She thought she needed to prove that she deserved to be where she was. She didn’t need to prove anything to any one. I think it’s such a terrible narrative and expectation that women or minority communities feel like they have to prove that they belong in a world that should accept them as they are. Why are we so exclusive towards others? What good does that do? We all are worthy of where we are at and wee shouldn’t diminish someone’s accomplishments because of their gender, identity, race, culture, or other social identity. Absolutely not.
So I liked how Serena defied that. She said to HECK with the expectations as an Indian woman. She said I am a BOSS A** B**** 👏🏼👏🏼!
her new workplace—-navigating being the boss and making her friends
I absolutely loved seeing Serena be a boss a** b**** of the workplace. She said CEO! Joking, she wasn’t a CEO, but she was a boss. I liked that Sonya Lalli explored the complicated relationships of a boss. My dad is the boss at his working place and he always talks about how when he became the box, the less co-workers wanted to hang around him because he was the “boss.” My dad often woefully explains how he now sits alone in his office, eating his lunch because his co-workers sort of fear him or that no one wants to eat with the boss. I guess, it’s kind of the same mentality of not wanting to eat with the principal or the teacher or the superior. It feels intimidating and uncomfortable because you want to talk smack or say all these random things, but when there’s a boss/suprerior around, it feels like you have to hold your tongue. So most people don’t opt for eating or hanging out with the boss out of fear of what they say and how it might be used against them. I could understand that. It’s just makes me kind of sad thinking how a boss is a normal person and they might just want friends too. And not all bosses are mean, but I sure heard many stories where bosses are not the nicest.
I thought Vic was a menace. I thought she was also very rude, catty, and bitter to Serena because Serena supposedly got the position she wanted—-creative executive. I could understand Vic’s jealousy because she worked at this company for longer than Serena and here Serena was getting the role she worked hard for. It probably felt like someone came in and stepped on her toes. But I didn’t think her actions or her attitude was okay towards her boss because I mean, Serena could fire her for sure. She has that authority. But I liked how Serena tried to be amicable and build a relationship with Vic even if she didn’t deserve it. I also thought Vic was a big bully because everyone was nice to Serena when Vic wasn’t around. It goes to show how herd mentality is a thing. But in all honesty, if Vic was my co-worker and Serena was my boss, I wouldn’t’ be mean to Serena just because Vic didn’t like her. I think that’s too mean because it’s not like Serena did anything wrong but work her butt off to earn the position she was in. The other people should have just been nice to Serena and say to heck with what Vic thought of her because who was Vic anyway 🙄? She doesn’t have all the power. Serena’s the boss. I thought it was funny when Serena prepped this whole speech to tell Vic she was on probation for her attitude. I mean, someone had to put Vic in her place. I would have felt terrified if I was Serena because I’m not really confrontational so telling someone something serious, isn’t my forte. So I could relate to how nervous Serena was to speak to Vic.
Also, when I think about it, a work place can sometimes feel like a high school cafeteria with the power dynamics and who you have to kiss up to. Serena thought if she could be friends with Vic, the other people would start to be nice to her, which I guess they would. But Vic was the person who was a bit complicated in this situation. I loved when Serena fired Vic at the end because Vic had it coming to her. I mean, she was trying to screw Serena and the company over. I think what made it worse was that Vic was good at her job but she let her pettiness get in her way. I believe if she was nicer to Serena and kept working on her craft, she would have been promoted as something in the company. She really should have chose kindness. Sucks to be her. Sorry, not sorry, Serena said 🤪.
But besides Vic, forming friendships in the workplace is beyond hard. Forming and maintaining friendships as an adult is an olympic feat.
“Friendships ran three course all the time. We changed schools, apartments, cities, or jobs, and the people who at one point populated so many waking hours of our lives often disappeared forever. There was never a breakup or a talk. An acknowledgment that we didn’t have anything in common anymore or were to busy or imply didn’t care enough to make the effort to stay in touch.”
(pg. 318)
I graduated three years ago, and one of the first things I noticed was how difficult it was to maintain friendships. After high school, you truly do. not see anyone from high school unless you intentionally want to see them. Sure, you might run into the random person here and there, but other than that, you really don’t see anyone. And I live in the same city and state where my classmates and I went to high school and I still don’t see anyone. Nada. No one. I found that so strange—-how we live in the same area and city, but when we graduated, the people I saw everyday became the people I didn’t see anymore. It was sad. It was confusing. I thought I would at least run into more people.
But then I realized how small high school is. High school is just one part of our world and a place we occupy for a period of time as we grow through all these changes in adolescence. We see the same people everyday in our small bubble/world that when we get out into the real world, we realize how much bigger the world is—-how much it opens up to us and a plethora of people. It’s such a strange, overwhelming, and terrifying feeling. I remember during my first year of college, I kept reminiscing about high school and all the people I missed and who I wanted to see. I never saw anyone except what hey posted on social media. I realized that they all had their own lives now and I was not a part of it anymore. How can people go from being with each other everyday and having our own world to never being in each other’s world at all? I was disheartened. It’s so hard to be an adult because you want friends, but you don’t know where to make them, how to make them, when to make them, and if they will be your forever friends.
It’s freaking brutal out here as an adult.
It’s funny because I noticed my parents don’t really have any friends. My brother and sister who graduated high school before me, don’t have many friends either. They all lost touch with their high school friends. The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that the older people get, somehow the less friends we have because I guess life gets in the way with college/university, work, families, personal matter, and everything else that comes with being an adult. It’s like, where do we even find the time to make friends, yet alone maintain them?
I understand that the people in Serena’s life were busy with their own lives/things, but one of the biggest lessons I learned after I graduated college, was that if you want to keep people in your life, you have to work on the relationship.
If you want to maintain a friendship, you’re going to have to put in the work and effort to maintain it.
When we’re in high school or school, it’s easy to just be friends with people because you’ll see each other everyday. But when you don’t see people everyday, you have to make time to communicate with someone on top of everything life piles on top for us. It’s FREAKING hard.
I have a best friend who I met in kindergarten, and during my first year of college when I didn’t have many friends and went through a really lonely period, I would text her. I would sometimes pop a random text here and there and schedule to meet up. We worked on our relationship because we wanted to be in each others life.
“I’d told myself I’d lost touch with so many people when they became parents because they were busy. And that’s true. But maybe I’d also accepted their excuses and longer and longer gaps between visits because I didn’t want to be included in their new life. A life I couldn’t’ imagine.”
(pg. 194)
Reaching out to people is not easy as we get older, I think. I believe it’s because sometimes we feel like people don’t want to hear from us or that they are better off without us, so we don’t talk to them. We don’t want to be a bother. Or that’s how I feel. But then whenever I get a random message from someone, whether it’s a “Hello,” or “How are you?” it makes my day. All the time. We can get so in our heads about reaching out, that we forget that no matter who we reach out to, most likely that person is happy to hear from you. I think the only instance where a person might not be happy to hear form you is if you don’t have a good relationship with a person, but even then, maybe time had healed something and reaching out can still do wonders. I had a friend in high school where we just drifted because of complicated things that happened at the end of high school where I just didn’t feel like our friendship was mutual or healthy anymore. I naturally stopped talking to her because I didn’t want our friendship to end on a confrontational or bad note. So I just left it. It drifted. I don’t know where it’s gone. I think we’re still nice to each other and I will always appreciate and care for her, but I feel like sometimes two people do drift a part—-people change and grow. Sometimes in that change, we leave other behind because we shared a special moment in our lives where we were supposed to be in each other’s life, but then there came a point when we both had to outgrow the friendship. Not all friendships end or happen this way, but sometimes they do.
Friendship break-ups are honestly one of the hardest thing I think a person will experience. No one talks about friendship break-ups. Heck, I didn’t know what a friendship break-up was until I went through it. Breaking up with a friend feels worst than breaking up with a partner—but I’m not too sure because I never broke-up with a partner—but I heard it’s worst. I would like to agree with that because with friendships, I think there’s a closer bond and more history there than with a partner. I also think of the saying “marry your best friend,” and how friendships have such an intimate relationship that people would say “marry your best friend.” Friendship break-ups suck. But personally, it’s the friendships where two people drift, that are the hardest because there’s all this unknown—-why did we drift, what happened, are we still friends? It’s all those questions that lead a door open unless we go back to the friendship so we can answer them.
Even if two friends don’t end on good terms and they just drift because of life things, it’s still tough.
People are social creatures and we want friends—we want connection. So when people get busy with life and we drift, it sucks because it feels like we lose friends we still want to keep. But again, a friendship is a two-way effort. Both people have to want to be friends and to be in each other’s lives.
I will admit, I am not the best at balancing school, personal life, and friendships. It’s freaking hard. I mean, I’m in school most of the day, I go home and I nap and eat like a dog, then I take myself on a walk to be healthy 😂, and then I go to sleep. Then on then on the weekends, I got to do homework and buy groceries and try to be a functioning human being. I mean, where do I fit finding friends into that? I mean, I want to, but GOSH DARN 🤪. I don’t understand how adults do it. I really don’t. I also don’t know how to make friends in a freaking pandemic. So there’s that. My social skills probably are down the drain 😂.
“It’s harder to make friends as an adult. When I go back home, I see my group of girlfriends, and it’s like nothing has changed, even though everything has changed. We’re thirty years older.”
(pg. 172)
Suffice to say, I completely related to Serena. I honestly loved how Sonya Lalli explored friendship in this book, especially friendships as an adult because I feel like no one talks about how hard it is. I connected with Serena’s sorrow in how she didn’t have a lot of friends, especially as a boss. I also understood where she was coming from with how when she changed companies, all her old friends/co-workers stopped talking to her. It’s like when we leave one area and the people we see nearly everyday, we become irrelevant. And it’s hard because I lose touch with people I don’t see everyday too, but it’s just really sad how friendships fall out so easily—based on time and place. I know I had a mentor who I was close with and I told her to keep in touch and that I would keep in touch. I’m going to throw shade at myself because sadly, I didn’t keep in touch because life got busy, I wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear from me, and so on. It’s hard.
I also felt like it sucked because friendships fall out depending on where we are in life. Many of Serena’s friends were parents or had busy jobs where they couldn’t find time for her. I understand how busy they were, and so did Serena, but I think about the quote that talks about how if we want to do something, we will make time for it. This saying is complicated because people have responsibilities they have to put first—-work/school, family, themselves—but I do believe that we choose what we make time for, and if we want to maintain friendships, we could try harder to make time for friends. But again, it’s rough when life gets busy and we’re all at different places.
But I praise Serena for making things happen for her—-going out to make friends. Gosh, knows I need that kind of energy—-especially when this pandemic is over. I mean, my gosh, it’s so hard to put yourself out there to make friends with random people! I agree that going to places or clubs with people who share a common interest is a good place to start because at least then, you have a, you know, common interest to talk about. But I didn’t feel like Serena had common interests to talk about whenever she went out to make friends. She just went to any and all events that sounded good, which I mean, all the power to her!
I laughed when she found herself at that dinner and then the sex club. Way to make friends 😂. I also cracked up when she walked into the book club, ready to tear the book apart, and the author was there. YIKES. If I was the author, I would feel a bit hurt that someone didn’t like my book and would openly say it in front of me, but at the same time, I would think everyone is entitled to their opinion with a story. Not everyone likes the same story. So the way the author reacted to Serena’s response was a tad bit mean too, but I understood why. I also thought the cooking club was a fun place where Serena could make friends, and it seemed like she was going to until her ex called her.
To be honest, I didn’t really care for Jesse’s character 🙈. There just wasn’t anything with him that I could connect with or feel completely compelled with by his character. I mean, he was okay, he just isn’t someone I would obsess or talk throhgoruly about. He seemed as confused or lost as Serena was in life. I understood why because he was newly divorced and trying to navigate how to be a dad. I felt like there was no depth to his character and his emotions were very surface level. I wanted to know Jesse and how he felt about the divorce and how he felt about being a dad to his two kids who were also effected by the divorce. I felt like we knew things about him, but I wanted to know Jesse.
Also, Serena talking to her ex didn’t seem like a good idea. Being friends with her ex, also wasn’t her finest idea. I think a person can be friends with their ex if they really wanted to and they kept healthy boundaries. I respected Serena and quite liked that she did set those boundaries for herself. They were also very platonic with their friendships, but I guess because this was a contemporary romance book, Jesse was the guy she was going to “fall in love with.” But I really didn’t feel their love or like or whatever you want to call it. I thought Jesse was more of a comfort in her life rather than someone she loved again. I know she broke up with him early on because she started to love him and she didn’t want to marry anyone because of her tainted view or relationships. I really thought there was also going to be more steam in this book. I did not get the steam, but I guess that’s just the smutty side of me that wanted steam 🙈.
The way Serena and Jesse left their relationship was okay. There big blow-up argument at her house felt tense. I think it was because seeing Jesse make himself comfortable in the recliner in her living room, felt too close to the spitting image of her dad—-not a healthy image she had just yet. I felt she snapped at Jesse in that moment because she was taken back to her mother and father’s relationship and she didn’t want to be in a relationship down the road that would only lead to her waiting on his hand and feet and tolerating being hit. I didn’t quite get how they made up so quickly, but I feel like it was because she had no one left in her life and Jesse was just a comfort. They weren’t going to be in a long-term relationship still because they both weren’t in a good place to be in a relationship. I liked how they both knew it wasn’t the right time. But I also felt like they needed to move on because they were an okay couple; not my favorite. I also felt like there should have been more said for what they were or how they were going to move forward. I don’t know.
I do know, I thought Beckett was a good guy. He was respectful to Serena, never pushed her to do something he felt she wasn’t comfortable with, he always hyped her up, and he was constantly by her side. He was a legit good dude, and I liked him more than Jesse. He deserved better because Serena wasn’t completely honest about her intentions with their relationship, which I think was sort of really mean. Beckett was out here thinking Serena was good with kids and families and that she was his girlfriend, but Serena knew she didn’t want something serious long-term or to hav a family. I felt like she should have been straightforward and honest with Beckett about what she wanted from the beginning, so Beckett at least knew what he was getting himself into. Because I don’t think it was fair to him that he thought he was going to have a long-term relationship and possibly start a family with a woman who didn’t want either of those things. Communication is key, even if what is being said may be hard. I believe it’s difficult when tow people do care for each other and their goals may differ.
The true love story of this book was Serena and Ainsley. I again, loved the friendship focus on the story because we don’t see it as much 💛.
I knew Serena was going to be friends with Ainsley and not just because of the synopsis. Ainsley just seemed like a cheerful, amiable person who genuinely wanted to be friends with Serena. I also liked how Serena slowly grew to love how strong, positive, and encouraging Ainsley was because she never had a friend like her.
Serena used to think her sister, Natasha was her best friend, and in some ways, a sister can be a best friend. But I think sisters have a more complicated relationship.
“Not every friendship or relationship—family or otherwise—could be a two-way street. With some, you took more than you could give, and with others—well, they got your heart and your soul, and you picked up whatever scraps you could find.”
(pg. 302)
We all have relationships where we give more and people take more. And we all have relationships where we take what we can get. Those are even more complicated relationships, especially with family because family is supposed to be an entity, but when that entity stands on a wavering foundation, it’s even harder to stay steady.
I though the way Sonya Lalli portrayed Natasha was interesting. She wasn’t a nice sister, but I wasn’t sure if that was because she was hormonal with her pregnancy or because she really was not the best person. I felt Natasha was also heavily influenced by her parents in law and maybe wanting to impress them, so she came across as ungrateful for her heritage or embarrassed by her parents. I didn’t really like her parents in law, and I didn’t really like Natasha. Or I didn’t like the Natasha who was rude to Serena and her mom. I mean, they just wanted to be included in Natasha’s life, but it seemed like she didn’t want to include them—that she was shameful. Again, I don’t know what Natasha was feeling because she was going to have a baby and she was newly married, but I don’t think that makes it okay to be mean to the people you love. I do understand how Serena would feel being the eldest and not being the one married or having a baby yet. I think what was worse, was everyone asking her about it like Serena should feel bad that she didn’t do all those things first.
“It angered me to think of all the expectations, burdens, and “time limits” that were exclusively placed on women.”
(pg. 258)
You’re right, you’re right👌🏼.
It’s just so overwhelming being a woman because of the expectations people and society place on us and our biological clock that makes us feel like we’re behind if we want to start a family. People don’t give enough credit or respect to women and the struggles we face everyday just to live and survive in this world. I feel like older women have it eschpeially hard because people get so rude if a woman doesn’t have a partner or a family or if they only focus on work. Or people can be so judgmental about a woman’s life like it’s their business to be concerned about someone else’s life. Don’t even get me started on the beauty standards for women as they get older. It’s a whole other conversation I can go off on. I have mad respect for women. I respect respectful and kind men and people, but gosh, we gotta give props to us ladies, am I right 😅?
I digress.
But I loved how Ainsley was the definition of a woman supporting another woman. I also liked how Ainsley represented a woman who had to balance family, work, and a social life and how she balanced the things as best as she could. I give her so much credit because it’s not easy to balance everything in life, but Ainsley did her best. I think seeing Ainsley balance work, family, and life made Serena see how she did not need to give up one part of her life or her wants to keep another part of her life afloat. She didn’t need to be by herself to prove anyone to anything or that she needed to sacrifice some part of her that did want a family or friends because she wanted to be a successful working woman.
“I’d gritted my teeth and lost sleep to prove to everyone I could make it on my own. That I was good enough without them.”
(pg. 208)
This goes back to the expectations that women feel, especially women of color. But Serena’s success made me think of the quote about how you can be successful but if you have no one to share your successes with, it’s lonely. Or the saying how it’s lonely at the top. I too know what it’s like to isolate myself to focus on school and work, and it’s not because I ever thought I was good enough without people, but I thought they were better off without me. But I think we place so much pressure on ourselves and get in our head, that it isolates us even more, and our minds can be a scary space if we sit by ourselves for so long in the darkness. I loved how Ainsley was Serena’s light. I also loved how Ainsley joined Serena to coffee dates and to Natasha’s pregnancy parties with the Hartshorne’s. I loved loved loved when Ainsley clapped back at Ms. Hartshorne because that woman needed someone to knock her off her high horse. Also, I didn’t like how Ms. Hartshone was sort of patronizing to Serena and Ainsley and how she talked over them. I mean, they’re not dumb—-they’re successful women.
What I most liked about Ainsley was how she was very honest and blunt with Serena. We all need friends who will tell it to us straight and who would look out for us. I liked how even if Ainsley didn’t agree with some of the things Serena was doing—being friends with Jesse—-she still respected what Serena was doing and stood by her side as much as she could. I also liked how Ainsley knew Serena better than Serena knew herself. I think true friends do that and they see the best parts and the hardest parts about you and they want you to grow.
Ainsley also had some depth to her character, which I liked. It was interesting to see how Ainsley also felt the pressures of being a mother and a wife to her husband who was Indian and her father in law who sucked roti’s. Like legit, the father in law was so disrespectful to Ainsley. I know people have to respect their elders, but I think if someone doesn’t give you the common courtesy or respect back, then you have every right to not respect them—-in a nice way, of course. You don’t need to try to please them or be super amicable because they are not being that way with you. I mean, be nice at the same time, but you don’t need to bend over backwards trying to make someone like you when they already etched in their mind that they didn’t. But it’s so hard because I understand that the father-in-law was only rude to Ainsley because she wasn’t an Indian woman and she didn’t play the traditional caretaker role. Nikesh was honestly the coolest though. He gave me super chill vibes and he was so respectful and loving to Ainsley. I loved how he stood up for her with his dad, and how he supported her when she started to break down. It made my heart heavy to see someone so bright and powerful, so dim and despondent because she felt like she wasn’t living up to her parent-in-laws expectations—-that she wasn’t good enough. Again, that’s so hard because the cultures are so different.
Ainsley was human and there was nothing wrong with her with being the one who made the money in the family. Also, she didn’t deserve to feel bad for her success or for not being home as much while Nikesh took care of MacKenzie.
I loved how MacKenzie and Serena also formed such a sweet relationship. It was cute because Serena never thought she would like kids as much as she did when she met MacKenzie. I like to hope that MacKenzie changed some part of Serena that said she never wanted a family or kids, because the way MacKenzie adored Serena and vice versa, made me believe otherwise. But I think it would be cute if Serena did start a family because she was good with kids.
I sort of didn’t understand why the big argument between Ainsley and Serena was a big deal 😅. I mean, Serena does not know yet how to be a friend and open up to people and I don’t feel like it was fair of Ainsley to be blow up on Serena when Serena wasn’t ready to talk about what she felt. I think if Ainsley asked Serena later on what she felt—-gave her time—then the whole argument wouldn’t have happened. Also, friends fight like that all the time, so I didn’t know why they both felt like they had to end their friendship over it. However, I could understand how the situation was more than just Serena not wanting to talk about how she felt after breaking up with Beckett, but how Serena was closed off in general. As someone who is also not the most open, it hurts when someone says we’re closed off because most times we’re aware that we guard our heart. We know we guard our heart because of the pain or hurt we felt previously. For people who are more closed off, we like ease into opening up and I felt like Serena was still dipping the toe in the water of her friendship because Serena was scared things would inevitably fall a part with Ainsley as it did with her other friendships.
And there lies the hurt. Serena was so used to losing friends and people in her life—-either they lost touch or didn’t make time for her—that she didn’t open up to anyone anymore because I think she thought what was the point in opening up to people and loving them when they would only leave. That’s part of the natural hurt that comes with love, but it shouldn’t stop us from ever opening up or creating relationships. I read a quote recently in the book From Little Tokyo, With Love by Sarah Kuhn that said something along the lines of when you open your heart up to love, you open it up to everything, including pain. When I read that, I nodded my head vigorously because we can’t have the good without the not-so-good—–happiness without the sadness or love without pain. We open ourselves up to hurting because love has layers, and depending on the situation, that hurt can be good or not-so-good. Pain that comes from a relationship ending is one of the worst hurts, but it means we hurt that much because we cared and loved that much—-we had such meaningful and valuable relationships with someone. The bigger the love, the more powerful the hurt.
Serena had been mentally hurt for so many years.
Ainsley felt like the first person she wanted to keep in her life, and she wasn’t ready for the day she had to let her go. Serena’s mindset felt like a self-fulfilling prophecy in this way because she was expecting their friendship to fall out eventually, which is not the healthiest thing to think. But I could understand why she thought that way because Ainsley was planning to work from home for a different company—-she was ready for a change in her career path. I want to talk about this for a second because I loved the idea that Ainsley worked the same job for the past however many years, but she knew she wanted to progress in her career, so she decided to find something new that would challenge her. I mean, go Ainsley 👏🏼! I think that’s so amazing that she wanted to keep growing in her career and how even if it scared her to leave, she wanted to do so. Sometimes we get so set on the idea that we have to stick to the same career or job for the rest of our lives, and then we get so comfortable and stagnant and bored of our job and our life because we are not growing. There is something so empowering about knowing that we are comfortable where we are and trying to push ourselves to grow. I loved loved loved that.
But I could understand how Serena did not love love love that 😅. It meant that her self-fulfilling prophecy of losing a friend would come true—-because when you leave a workplace of a place where you see someone every day, most likely that friendship/relationship falls out. But I knew that even if Ainsley didn’t work for Deborah Kim anymore, she would make the effort to be Serena’s friend because Ainsley already made the effort to be friends with Serena and to know her.
Because if there is one thing this book was about, it was about relationships—-family, parents, self, friends, co-workers. The full human range.
Relationships are powerful.
To be honest, I thought the end was sort of rushed in resolving things with Jesse, talking about reuniting with old friends, that short conversation with Natasha, and firing Vic. I wanted more of a heart-to-heart between Serena and Natasha because there were still all these unsaid things that I felt they could have opened up about to really connect. I also felt their conversation didn’t provide any real resolution to the underlying feelings Serena had.
But I did like the big gesture with Ainsley at the end. I mean, we all know the true romance of the book was their friendship.
I thought it was cute that Serena and her dad went to Nikesh’s coffee kiosk at the Farmer’s Market. They waited in line to order coffee and Ainsley was there with her pen and notepad, taking coffee orders in line. I loved the moment Ainsley looked up and saw it was Serena. I could only imagine the sorrow, the slight hurt, but also the care Ainsley still had for Serena. I liked how they both sat at the park where they first talked and became friends; we love a full circle moment! I also loved how they both agreed that their fight was dumb because it was dumb 🤪. But I think it goes to show that we have to reach out to people no matter if it makes us uncomfortable or if it is awkward because I guarantee, the other person is feeling the same apprehension and nerves, and are just waiting for an opening to talk to you. So don’t be afraid to reach out to people 😊. I freaking laughed at how romantic sounding their make-up was. I told you, they were the true relationship of the story.
“‘I wanted it to be you, Ainsley Woods,’ I said, clutching her face between my hands. ‘I wanted it to be you so badly.’
‘You had me at hello!’
‘Yes, yes!’ I bellowed. ‘A thousand times yes!'”
(pg. 322)
They’re a bunch of goofy dorks, but I love that. Anyone can be young, silly, and carefree—-that’s what makes friendships so magical. It is having someone you can be your absolute dumbest with and they’ll still love you for that. I just adored the power of relationships this book had, especially friendship because friendship is honestly the best type of relationship 💛. Of course, the relationship we have with ourselves is just as important and valuable because if we don’t have a strong or a healthy relationship with ourselves, we might not have healthy relationships with others because we would reflect our feelings of ourselves to our relationships.
If there is anything Serena Singh Flips the Script taught me is that you can choose whatever you want in life and the right people will respect that and love you for you. I also think it’s important to remember that relationships take effort and that if we want to maintain the relationships we have, we have to tell ourselves to make time, no matter how little because a minute is better than nothing—-no effort. But sometimes we also have to recognize when a relationship does drift and to accept that if someone doesn’t want to be in our life, they won’t be and we shouldn’t force anything. All we can do is continue to reach out, even if we know the answer will be no—-to leave the door open. I know in the past I have said so many no’s to people who have reached out to me, and if they’re reading this, I can now talk about it. I used to say no to a lot of public gatherings (pre-pandemic) because I wasn’t in a healthy relationship with myself and didn’t want to be around people when I didn’t even like myself. I also felt like I needed time to be with myself because I wasn’t sure who I was or who I wanted to be around other people. I’m the type of person who kind of knows who I am, but I sort of change how I act with people because I used to want them to like me so badly. Doing so, I got lost in the middle of not being true to who I am, so I wanted to work on myself. I was also going through a lot with family where I felt like I had to be around my family constantly because I didn’t know when the moments we had would be over. Suffice to say, I pushed people away because I wasn’t okay. Now, no one asks me to go anywhere because when you push people away for so long, they think that you’ll never say yes, which I understand. But I also feel like we never know what a person is going through or their reasons for saying no, so please please please keep asking people to hang out or do something because you never know if the time you ask will finally be a yes. Take it from someone who wishes someone would ask me.
But I know I chose to do something for myself when I said no to others, and I’m trying to be a better friend and reach out to people. Like I said a million times in this post, it takes work.
But the work you put in, is worth it 💛.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part?
Have you ever had a friend like Ainsley or have you ever felt like Serena—wanting friends, being a boss, the pressures of being a woman or a person of color?
What did you think of the book? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
3.88 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Serena Singh is a boss a** bi*** who serves power moves, but also dances the delicate balance of a woman of color and being a human being who just wants to be loved
Plot: Not exactly what I thought this book would be about, but I was surprised how much I loved the power of relationships Sonya Lalli delved into 💛
Writing: The POV switches were kind of random for me, however I liked being in Serena’s mind because it helped me connect to her motives and emotions.
Romance: The romantic relationship wasn’t the best. The friendship was absolutely better.