“I’m still angry, angrier than I’ve ever been. But Jackie’s right. We’ve got this. Maybe not right away. Maybe not in the next few days. It’s like Papi always says, important decisions take time and preparation. It’s why he took so long to tell me and my brother he’d run for president. I finally get it.
Besides, anger is too powerful to waste on hurting him. My anger is powerful enough for change.”
(pg 284)
Author: Natalia Sylvester
Genre: Young Adult
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When fifteen-year-old Cuban American Mariana Ruiz’s father runs for president, Mari starts to see him with new eyes. A novel about waking up and standing up, and what happens when you stop seeing your dad as your hero—while the whole country is watching.
In this authentic, humorous, and gorgeously written debut novel about privacy, waking up, and speaking up, Senator Anthony Ruiz is running for president. Throughout his successful political career he has always had his daughter’s vote, but a presidential campaign brings a whole new level of scrutiny to sheltered fifteen-year-old Mariana and the rest of her Cuban American family, from a 60 Minutes–style tour of their house to tabloids doctoring photos and inventing scandals. As tensions rise within the Ruiz family, Mari begins to learn about the details of her father’s political positions, and she realizes that her father is not the man she thought he was.
But how do you find your voice when everyone’s watching? When it means disagreeing with your father—publicly? What do you do when your dad stops being your hero? Will Mari get a chance to confront her father? If she does, will she have the courage to seize it?
Spoilers Contained Below
To those who ever felt like they didn’t have a voice,
These last four years have been tough to say the least, especially this year. I know that in other countries around the world, they have been having their hardships and difficulties, but as someone who lives in America, most of this post I will relate things in the book with things I’ve heard or seen in America. So I just wanted to put it out there because I don’t want those who do not live in America to not feel seen or heard—–I understand that the issues faced in America are not only occurring in America. I just feel like I can have more say when talking about America as an American and don’t want to speak on behalf of other countries and their hardships when I don’t know the full breadth of them. And that’s not saying I’m speaking on behalf of all Americans when I write this post, this is me—-a junior in college who’s studying education and who lives in a small state in a small town. So I’m just one person 😅. I also want to preface this post by saying, please don’t leave hateful comments to me or anyone else because of the things I write because again, I’m one person and I’m going to mess up and say things that might not sound the most educated and I apologize profusely if I offend anyone or say something wrong. I am always open to constructive feedback if I say something wrong and get corrected on it—-I am open to learning.
With that said, I also wanted to mention I took a Humans and the Environment class my first year of college that really opened my eyes to what has been going on around the world. An issue truly bigger than just one country. Climate change. And people will have all the debates whether or not climate change exists and yada yada yada, but I think we can all say that climate change DOES EXIST. And it would be a much better use of our energy and efforts to stop having debates about climate change’s existence and to actually have a conversation about what we can do to help the world and what we can do as countries and people to be more sustainable. I just found it completely devastating how it took me nearly 15 years of my education to actually learn the depth about climate change and what’s going on in the world. And to me that’s just really sad. It shouldn’t take that long for a person to be aware of climate change and to know what’s going on in the world. I think elementary schools, middle schools, and high schools need to touch on it more in depth before university level because it will help raise awareness to all the upcoming generations that their world needs them. It doesn’t help that we gloss over climate change and ignore it because that does ABSOLUTELY nothing. Because no matter how uncomfortably complex climate change is, it is happening. Today, tomorrow, each and every day. And it needs to be talked about.
So I highly enjoyed how there are YA books, this being the first one I’m reading, that incorporates politics and climate change and what it’s like being a young adult in this world 😊.
Let’s start with that. Marianna, or Mari for short, means ocean and I absolutely loved the meaning behind her name and what it stood for throughout this entire book. Mari has a difficult time finding her voice throughout the majority of the book. She grew up kind of in the limelight because her father was always running for office or holding a position in office. But now he was running for president and that put a whole other spotlight on her. When you’re 15, you’re awkward as heck! Or I was awkward as heck 😅. But still, you feel awkward during the teenage years, and to have cameras on you 24/7 and no privacy whatsoever, it’s uncomfortable and wrong. I honestly really didn’t like how her dad, her Papi, went ahead with that home interview when she explicitly said she didn’t want cameras in her room. Because how freaking awkward and uncomfortable is that?!! I like looking at model homes, don’t get me wrong, and it would be interesting to see the family home of someone running for president because it would create a sense of intimacy and connection, but I think a line is crossed when a someone from the family says they want an ounce of privacy—-not have their room shared—-and have it shared anyway. That was not right. I would feel like Mari did—–all slimy and gross that millions of people knew where she slept, changed, or kept all her personal and private things. That’s a HUGE invasion of privacy. And don’t even get me started on how they literally pushed all her things to the center of the room and remained in her room without asking her. I’m sorry, is your name Mari? 😠 Is that your room? Honestly, if they wanted her room to look like the “perfect, typical American daughter room,” then they should just rent a model house and call it theirs!
Seeing it from Mari’s point of view, it really made me think of Malia and Sasha Obama and what they had to go through with their father running for president. How they were scrutinized, what they had to compromise, what privacy they had to give up because their dad was everywhere, and how they felt about it. They were about Mari’s age when Obama was president and they practically grew up in front of the nation’s eyes for everyone to judge and watch their movements. That had to feel slimy and gross and uncomfortable. I couldn’t imagine what they went through or maybe still continue to go through. And it just made me really think about how we all need to respect people when it comes to their privacy, especially if they are younger or don’t have a say of whether or not they are in the media. Mari didn’t have a say. Her dad was running for president, of course that meant she was going to be put online and in pictures because of that. She didn’t ask for that. She had to be.
“It’s not just Papi running for president. It’s all of us. Sometimes I don’t like parts of it either, but we promised we’d support him.”
(pg 70)
I never thought of it like that before. But it holds a lot of truth that the whole family also runs with the person who is running for president—-their whole life revolves around it as much.
Ricky, Mari’s brother, grew up only knowing the dad as someone who held a high position in the world. So he always saw his dad as right or the winner and as an eight-year-old who doesn’t know the world beyond the bubble his parents sheltered him with, Mari was right when she said it would be difficult for Ricky to discover that there is more out there and the world is complex. Growing up in a small town in a small state, I felt like I grew up in a bubble where I wasn’t aware of everything and anything going on in my state, let alone the world. No one talked about it and no one mentioned it in front of an eight-year-old because, I don’t know, that’s just not the type of things parents or adults talk to eight-year-olds about. And that’s fine. Don’t be morbid to your kids and bring them down, give them a happy childhood. But if they ask questions, like real questions, be honest and tell them what’s going on in a kind light. Don’t be like, “Oh climate change is running the world and you won’t have clean water if you don’t take action now!” That’s overwhelming to hear at eight-years-old! But say it in a nice way where you can say how climate change affects water and the earth’s temperature and la da dee da da, etc. Ease them into the knowledge in a kind way. But don’t ever think they are too young and “innocent” and shouldn’t know about these things. That’s not going to do them any services and it’s not going to make it any better. Talk to kids. Don’t shelter or bubble them because it’s easy or safe.
It also made me think how lucky a lot of kids are. They have iPads and everything at the touch of their fingers nowadays, that they might not realize that things weren’t always like that. People back then had to go to the library to research or they had to read books or ride bikes for fun. There were no iPads or Fortnite or Animal Crossing to keep them busy. Ricky and the upcoming generations grew up like that and that’s all they’ve known and to me, it feels like it puts them even more in a bubble because of the technological access they’ve always had. Not trying to say the upcoming generations are bad because they grew up with technology, absolutely not! I’m a Gen Z 😅 I’m not judging. I’m just saying how we grew up with a different lifestyle than older generations and that could have affected the information and ideals we have of the world. And technology has its pros for sure! We are more aware with social media with all the movements going on online from BLM to raising awareness of trafficking, femicide, hunger, and other social/ or humanitarian movements/or issues going on in the world. I know a lot of people say they get their news from Twitter because people tweet about it faster than the news reports about it. So technology has altered things in such a beautiful way and I love the way we can connect and inform others about social movements. So again, nothing against technology whatsoever!
I didn’t like how rude Ricky was to Mari when Mari would speak her mind or go against her father. I get it thought, Ricky’s eight, he thinks Mari is ruining the family and not supporting the dad anymore. It makes him mad at Mari and it makes my heart hurt because Mari’s just asserting her independence and figuring things out—-she doesn’t mean to hurt anyone or betray the family. I’ve learned from books and movies that in Latinx culture, family is highly important. It’s a solid bond where everyone takes care of each other and supports each other. There truly is no word accurate to describe the kinship Latinx families have. So in that way, I could also see Ricky’s perspective about Mari shaking things up.
And I don’t really like it when people say, “Oh, that person’s too young to understand,” because honestly, no one’s too young to understand something if you explain it in the right way. But I will say there are things that a person understands only with experience and time.
“And how do you explain this to an eight-year-old? That you can love someone but lose faith. That you can find things to believe in that are beyond him.”
(pg 283)
This is where my educational psychology knowledge comes in 😅. Ricky would be in Piaget’s concrete operational stage of cognitive development. The concrete operational stage is where a child can understand ideas for concrete situations and they can’t understand what if, hypothetical situations, or abstract thoughts. That comes later in the formal operational. That comes with age. So Ricky’s in the concrete operational because his cognitive development can only understand ideas for concrete situations like family first and family values. He might not understand the contradictory or abstract thinking of how you can love someone and lose faith in them. And I absolutely loved how Natalia Sylvester wrote that because I think a lot of people can relate to that. One of the biggest things kids realize one day is that parent’s are just older kids. They don’t have their whole lives figured out, they aren’t perfect, they make mistakes. And it’s like the world shakes when a kid or a person figures that out because we all hold our parents on a pedestal for most of our life until they do something that makes us go, “Huh. They’re human.” For Mari, it was seeing her father become someone she didn’t even know anymore and didn’t even know what he stood for because I think the dad lost sight of what he was fighting for. And Mari loved her dad, she always would, but she lost faith in him. He wasn’t fighting for the right reasons and not doing the right things that he promised. So you can always love someone, but at the same time you can not trust them as much because of what time and experience has shown you. Mari was at this age of figuring out her values, beliefs, and herself. And she realized it didn’t align with her dad’s—-she believed in something more than him. And it’s okay. She was growing up. I think Erickson’s psychosocial stages would say Mari was in the identity versus role confusion stage because she was not only figuring out herself but her placement in the world and she was confused about it along the way.
Mari’s dad is someone I have a eh-dislike relationship with. I say eh because I didn’t really like him, but he had his moments. He was eh. Personally, the only reason I would like him as a candidate for presidency is because he would stand for diversity and we need more diversity in the world. I just loved the idea of a Latinx man running for president because I am tired of having old caucasian males leading in the world when last time I checked white wasn’t the only skin color. We need real people to lead us and my gosh I hope we see the day where we have different people lead the world —–females, transgenders, queer individuals, non binary individuals, black people, people of color. DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Mari’s dad also seemed like he represented a family man. It’s the seemed part that gets me. Because when you think about it, a lot of politics is about showing people and telling people what they want to see or hear. And Mari’s dad was the prime example of that.
MY GOSH, DID HE SCREAM POLITICIAN 😂.
It’s truly like they trained the dad and sucked every good, moral part out of him. And it made me think about how sometimes even the best people might run for presidency and have the utmost good intentions to stop climate change, to have a more comprehensive and kind plan with immigration, to have more queer rights, etc. but even the best of people might want all these things, but they get lost in running for president because of everything else that gets in the way. This can be things like the press and the pressure, all the donors and what donor provides more money, what will look or sound the best. And at that point it’s not even about running for president with the intention to help the people and do good, but it just seems like looking good to benefit oneself to get votes to not create change, but to feed into all the press and pressures, the donors, what looks or sounds the best without getting anything done. And it begs the question; does politics change a good person? And why does it have to be this way?
For votes?
Honestly, for me, what we need is someone authentic, honest, and vulnerable. People like vulnerability and they want truth. They want someone who will go out of their way to educate themselves and to do something rather than make all these false promises and nothing actually gets done. We want someone who will CALL ONESELF OUT for his/her wrongs, acknowledge it, apologize for it, and DO SOMETHING about it. Because GOSH KNOWS I live in a country where history has shown time and time again people in power not owning up to their wrongs, hiding the truth, blaming others, and minoritizing them to feel inferior because GOSH ONLY KNOWS people in power want to keep their ego and their pride so they put others down and say I did nothing wrong and they were wrong. I FREAKING DETEST. It’s one of the reasons why slavery exists today in the form of the 13th amendment, heck it’s why slavery came with the 13 colonies and why the first presidents had slaves. It’s DISGUSTING.
And it’s disgusting the way politics changes people for worse because they think they need to appear all “sparkly and American” to run for office because that’s what gets voted. What is this a popularity contest? ☹️ It might as well be. And don’t even get me started on how some of the main qualifications to run for president in America is to be a citizen. And rich. Like that’s ridiculous. It’s wrong.
The dad just seemed like a robot. He would say all these automated rehearsed speeches that his wife wrote him. Like, excuse me? You want your wife to write your speeches? What are you five?
Don’t get me wrong, there are things about the father I did like . . . or just one thing. When he told her he would go to the Everglades with her or that river where it was their special spot and they would go on a boat together. I also liked how they had those beach clean-up days just to them because it showed that there was a human beneath the dad. But him doing the beach clean ups and not following through with actual environmental change begs the question if he only did those clean-ups to show face or if he actually did care about the environment.
So kind of made me think about how politics and this life really changed him as a person. Because of the whole thing with how the dad supported Irving who was going to build all these condominiums and the sewer water. The dad passed a bill that allowed for builders to keep building without regard for the water supply. And given climate change with the rise of sea level, the groundwater was now being contaminated by the sewage water and people near the beaches have been drinking this water and it has been making them sick. People like Vivi’s grandma. All because people in office are more concerned about business and money that they don’t understand that when they put one focus on one thing, it harms the other.
“That it’s way past time our elected politicians looked out for our interests instead of developers’.”
(pg. 321)
And it’s such a devastatingly sad truth that people in office care more about business, the economy, money, and all these things to keep these large corporations in power when the world needs our love, care, and attention. Because it’s something I’ve been thinking about recently. . . if people created the concept of money, why do we place so much value in it that we would destroy the world—-go to the ends of the earth—–just for money and business when the world is our home and there would be no money or business if we don’t have a world to live in?
There’s something I read with one of my college courses called Down to Earth Politics by Bruno Latour. I will admit, it’s kind of a confusing article to read at first (but maybe that’s just me), so I read it a couple of times to grasp it. I could write a whole blog post about it, and I probably will, but one of the points it talked about was how we are concerned with expansion and that the world is not big enough for us to keep expanding the way we are. Because you know people, we like to be innovative and to expand in all areas of the world—-land, technology, etc. But it’s been costing us. Another thing the article mentioned was how when one part of the world thrives with all this innovation, it creates all this pollution and harm where other parts of the world are reaping the consequences of that. This can be seen with the Global North versus the Global South. The Global North are areas like America that produce all these emissions and harm where people in the Global South don’t have access to clean water, have polluted air, and all these hardships. One is suffering because of one’s disregard to how they are treating the world. And those in higher power know what they are doing to the world—-they know climate change exists, but they don’t talk about it, they don’t do anything because it would interfere with business, money, growth, and political power. So the upper classes of the world hide away in their wealth (and we’re talking about the billion, trillionaires of the world), leaving the other classes to fend for themselves because they know the destruction they are producing.
And it’s sickening. It makes us sick. It makes us worse off. All because upper class people want to expand and keep all this business going and all these other things that they aren’t talking about what matters: CLIMATE FREAKING CHANGE.
Because people spend so much more time debating whether or not climate change exists when it DOES EXIST. Let’s review the evidence:
1) Sea Level Rise
2) Ocean Acidification
3) Glacial Melting
4) Coral Bleaching
5) Change of climate in different parts of the world (Hot in cold places, dry in places that are supposed to be wet)
6) Wildfires (Rainforest, Australia)
And so MANY other things to the list that I can’t name or don’t know about. But the point is, CLIMATE CHANGE is occurring and it’s not helping that we argue if it is. It is a waste of our effort when we could be discussing how we can help the world. What cutbacks we can make. What energy sources we can use instead. What we can do as a world to combat it. Somebody said early on when the pandemic was being discussed 24/7 on the news (and it still is), but someone said that if people talked about climate change everyday like they talk about the pandemic, maybe people would actually do something and be aware. Because again, I think we’ve all heard about climate change, but we never really know what it means or the depth or the list of all the ways the world is hurting. And it took me 15 FREAKING YEARS of my AMERICAN education to even get a grasp of the extent of climate change 😡. No one talks about it because they want to keep us in the dark. They want us to keep producing, to keep expanding, to be the “best country” in the world. WHO CARES?
I literally could not care if America was the best country in the world and to me it shouldn’t matter because it’s not a competition, but we have made it a competition. We have become greedy, hateful, violent, angry people because we’re all over here trying to do a big flex on each other that we’re too blinded to see the WORLD IS HURTING and we need to heal it and we need to talk about it! 🤟🏼 Sorry for my spiel, but climate change is something I am very impassioned about because it affects the future and no one seems to care except the youth who know that we’re growing up in this world and it seems scary. It seems like we’re just kids or we’re just one person, and we’re trying to tackle this world problem because gosh knows climate change doesn’t change just one country, it affects the WORLD. The world. We need to be putting our efforts together. To be compassionate people, kind people, caring people, sustainable people so we can create a better world for our future.
And it’s people like Ruiz who think they know the issues the people care about and they think they know it all because “they’re adults,” when they don’t understand, they can’t fathom, the worries, the fear, the anxiousness, the hurt that us kids, the youth, know that this world isn’t okay. It isn’t.
“You’re supposed to be the adults . . . you say you want to leave us a better world, but you’re leaving us to clean up after your mess.”
(pg. 322)
And MY GOODNESS, when Mari said that, I felt it. I felt it 😞. Because the adults aren’t any better just because they have age and experience on their side. No. Time and time again, I have heard adults saying, “Oh, we want to create a better world for our kids. . . . to give them a better life,” and all that jazz. But there is not going to be a better world, let alone a world, if we do not put climate change on the forefront of our image of a better world. Literally. If people want to create a better world for their kids, their future, they have to put the world first, the literal world. But as a young adult, I will tell every adult out there that it does feel like this: it feels overwhelming and scary to think that there will not be a better world because of all the messes that people in the past have done that we have to battle each day because of the silence, the ignorance, and the harm done by those who could have done something sooner. Because we have people like Greta Thurnberg who knows climate change exists. And whether or not someone wants to say climate change exists, they know it does deep down. And by ignoring it, refusing to do anything about it, that’s a response. A harmful response that leaves us with the mess—-the damage—-of the world and climate change because people refused to take action now. To take action when it matters most.
Because we can’t go back and change everything past the industrial age when more emissions were being burnt and fossil fuels were everything. We can’t go back ten years or five years back and prevent the mass amount of technological growth and harm we’ve done to the world. But we can move forward, doing everything in our power to heal the world and be better. That’s what we can do.
And it’s scary and devastating that it’s NOT what we’re doing. And it makes me frustrated and sad because this is our world, my world, my home, and it pains me to see it being treated like this and to not feel like what I’m doing is going to be enough. I just want to hug the world and heal it, I just want people to get out of their heads that business and money and greed is important, but the earth is.
“Look. These big developments that people like Irving plan, they’re a necessary part of a city’s growth. A city either grows or it stagnates, and then everybody suffers because that’s how industries die and people lose their jobs and homes . . .”
(pg. 201)
And I get it, business helps people live and to have jobs and homes. But there will be no home or people won’t have the basic necessities of life if we keep trashing the world. I just think there comes a point where urbanization and expansion has gone too far and keeps pushing the limits and boundaries and if it doesn’t stop, it’s not going to be good. One of the biggest things I think we can all take away from the current situation of the world is to rectify a problem early on before it gets worse—-to be preventative. Because we shouldn’t ever get to the point where the world is in a state too beyond saving or in disrepair.
Now, let’s talk about how the dad wouldn’t listen to his daughter and how he would gaslight her to make her feel small.
I ABSOLUTELY DETEST when adults talk down to kids like they don’t know anything. There’s a difference between baby talk and being talked to like a baby. If you’re over the age of five, I think baby talk isn’t necessary and people shouldn’t assume a child is ignorant or dumb. They are not. I also don’t like it when adults make kids feel bad for their beliefs, calling them “too liberal,” “opinionated,” “rebellious,” or “dramatic.” I just don’t see how any of that is fair or right. It’s like kids can never win because it’s either people think we’re dumb and ignorant or too opinionated and overzealous ☹️.
“But making them feel like you’re listening isn’t the same as listening.”
(pg. 206)
I also didn’t appreciate the way he said things to her without really listening whenever she was concerned. Like when he said. “No, it’s fine, Juli. Mari’s just voicing her concerns.” Excuse me, that sounds like he thinks she’s a child who’s just concerned and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That’s why I liked what Mari said with how there’s a difference between making people feel like you’re listening and actually listening. Because, let’s be honest, lots of politicians make you feel like they’re listening. They stand, shake your hand, and nod along and don’t really hear what you’re saying. They give us a platform to speak up about the issues so it seems like they are listening, when really they aren’t. They are thinking about all the ways they can get ahead with the election or who they can buy into that will help them win. Because it becomes a game at a point. It becomes a game to say what people want to hear to make them feel like things will be okay and so those people will vote for you and it becomes about doing things that don’t actually bring about change in a big way but smaller ways that don’t actually change anything but keep people complacent.
The dad was also petty in the way that whenever Mari would speak her mind he would get defensive about it and shut her down for it. When Mari was voicing her thoughts and asking her dad about the sewage water situation, the dad shut her down by asking her things like, “Do you not believe in me anymore?” or “Do you not support me?” or things like that. And it’s like your daughter doesn’t not love you anymore, maybe she doesn’t support the things you’re doing, but that’s because she’s a person and she has real concerns about what’s going on in the world and you shutting her down and asking where her loyalties lie isn’t going to do anything. And I get it. People should respect elders if they give you the same respect. Or at least, that’s what I believe in. Because yes, don’t talk back to your elders. But that’s not what Mari was doing, she was talking about her opinion and trying to have a conversation with her dad.
“Mari, por favor. Stop being so dramatic.” He always says that. To me, to his opponents. If we’re not being dramatic, we’re being hyperbolic. The only way he knows how to argue is to make you feel small.”
(pg 112)
Their conversations to me weren’t even conversations. It was one-sided where the dad used Mari’s weakness—-her ability to speak up—-against her so she wouldn’t. He knew he was going to win and make her feel bad about it. Oh, and let’s add this to my growing list of things I DETESTED about the dad 😂 he always made Mari feel like the victim.
I DETESTED.
She was sunbathing in her own freaking backyard in her bikini and somehow it’s her fault that a drone caught her, morphed the picture so she seemed nude, and posted it on a blog?!! 😡That’s not her fault at all. That was her home, the home you willingly showed to the whole freaking world, making them feel like they could invade that privacy even more. So she was topless? She was at her house. Let her live. It wasn’t her fault and I hated that other people put the blame on her and slut shamed her for it. I couldn’t believe—-I could—– more like I was stunned that the dad would slut shame his own daughter rather than ask her if she was okay. And what sucked even more about the situation? Mari knew she was going to get blamed for it. That sucks. It sucks when people prove you right when you think the worst of them. The dad sucked. I liked the Abuelo because at least he got angry on Mari’s behalf on what the dad said about her.
“Those stupid pictures helped his poll numbers spike again. People thought he was some kind of hero because he stood up for his daughter. Isn’t that what a father’s supposed to do? Since when do you get bonus points for doing the bare minimum?”
(pg. 191)
She was absolutely darn right. The dad shouldn’t be praised just because he was doing what any father should be doing. Heck, when those photos were posted, I kept thinking, isn’t that child pornography? Can’t they sue for that? 🤔
One concept I liked that the book included was the idea of “people.”
“People. He’s always saying that, like there’s some invisible audience watching us at all times. When I was little I thought these people were on the other side of every mirror in our house, even the bathrooms, so I’d never undress in front of them. I’d brush my teeth, twenty seconds on each side of my mouth exactly, just like the dentist ordered, thinking people were judging my every move.”
(pg 3)
It’s like some 1984, Big Brother vibes, if you know what I mean 😉. But when Mari said this, I related to her so much. Because people always say, “What would people say?” or “What would people think?” And it’s like who are these people? When people say that though, they mean society/the world full of all these people who will judge. But we place the pressure on ourselves each day thinking others are watching our every move and judging it all, when in reality, hardly anyone cares what the heck you are doing or saying each day. Only a portion. “People,” is also such an interesting concept because whenever I think about society and the beliefs and standards we have or the way things are, people always say, people created that. And it’s true people did, but who says what beauty is? Who says what is right? What is good? Who? Who are these people who determine that? And that’s why I understood the whole “invisible audience thing,” because it makes it feel somehow right that we act or perform the way we do in life because we think people are watching us. No one is.
There’s this saying along the lines of: “Who are you when no one is watching.” And it made me think how we are all putting on our best self for “people,” and connecting to politics, it goes back to that idea of people watching and doing just thought—-putting other people’s ideas of what you think they are thinking or saying about you in your head and using that as a guide to act as who you are.
No one’s watching.
But people also go back to the idea that politicians serve the people and not the donors and certainly not themselves. It doesn’t feel like they do serve the people, though, doesn’t it? 😕 Because many people are suffering without anything actually getting done.
There was this conversation that Mari and her mom had that I think a lot of people find themselves having at one point.
“I don’t understand how simply knowing others are worse off is supposed to make anyone feel better about their problems. What good is valuing what we have if others can’t have it too?”
(pg 245)
I bet we’ve all said or all have heard someone say: “Well, at least you have a roof over your head, it could be so much worse,” or “You have water, some people don’t even have that.” And when we say these types of things, it makes us feel better because we think about all those who have it worse than us, and in some sick way it humbles us. It puts us in our place. I’m not saying we’re bad people for saying these things or that we are rude people, but we are privileged enough to have a roof over our head and clean access to water, and reminding ourselves of these blessings is important to always do, but I the comparison to what others don’t have and what we have isn’t right because it degrades the value of other people—-like they are less than you. And they aren’t. They just have less resources, opportunities, and privileges than you might have and if everyone had the equal resources, opportunities, privileges, and healthcare I bet we would all be well-off. The only difference then would be a person’s motivation and morals to do what they could with such access. But for the most part, we would all be equal and even—-on the same playing field. So I am sorry for comparing my life in such a way to those who do not have the resources to live the life they deserve, it wasn’t fair of me. What I will say now is what Mari said. What good is valuing what we have it others can’t have it too? Because others deserve it too. It goes back to the Global North versus the Global South I was talking about earlier. But we need to help each other, truly. Because it’s not fair that a certain group of people have access to all these privileges that others don’t and life just keeps getting better for one and worse for the other. How is that right?
Things need to change.
Mari’s growth throughout this book is phenomenal. I genuinely loved how she went from someone who was afraid to speak up and go against her family to someone who did what she wanted because she stood by it. She wanted to understand what her dad was doing and to understand her beliefs because, yes, sometimes parents and kids don’t have the same beliefs and that’s okay.
“I’m just trying to figure out what I believe in . . .”
(pg 184)
It’s so important to give the youth time and space to figure out their beliefs. Because it’s theirs and no one can force them to say or believe something they don’t. So I loved it when Mari was more open to joining Jackie’s group of the PODERs because Jackie, Crissy, and Didier were all doing amazing things with this group. And it’s funny how Mari went into it thinking that they were zealous and weird or that Jackie was rebellious—-everything her dad taught her to believe in people like Jackie. She was taught to fear people like Jackie. People like Jackie who politicians fear because they know they are right and they don’t want to face the truth.
“If none of this mattered, if we really were a bunch of kids whose actions won’t make a difference, then why is she so afraid? Why is Papa so dead set on stopping us?”
(p.g 260)
I mean, what FABULOUS QUESTIONS!!! 🧐
Because why would politicians be soooooo scared, threatened even by a bunch of kids protesting? Because they know they are right. Why are politicians threatened by people in general? The classes? Because there are more people in the lower classes and the middle classes and if they ever worked together against the upper classes, the upper classes would lose. They know that. So they keep the lower and middle classes complacent with empty promises and everything. Because why else would the government feel the need to spend all this money to push back protesters? They feel threatened 👏🏼. I mean, look at the BLM protests? Am I right?
But I also think it’s because politicians are afraid of change. It’s why they keep their privilege to themselves and have kept this oppressive system for YEARS. They don’t want things to change because it’s uncomfortable. There’s this quote about how it’s by being uncomfortable, things grow. And I genuinely believe that.
“It’s fine. I get it,” Jackie says. “You have to do what you’re comfortable with.”
Something about the way she says comfortable, though, rubs me the wrong way. “I don’t think you understand how far out of my comfort zone I already am.”
(pg. 254)
Because if we were all comfortable, we would be doing the same thing all the time because, you know, we’re comfortable. It’s kind of like how life was before the pandemic where we were all comfortable with everything and used to this sense of “normalcy.” But I think we can all say we are highly uncomfortable and even though this situation has been absolutely devastating and continues to be, one of the more lighter-hearted things that has occurred is social movements being brought to the forefront, movements no one dared to talk about. And I LOVE that. And we need to have these conversations—-not arguments—-about these issues. With the BLM, people were having uncomfortable conversations with their friends and family members and it was scary because of the fear that one might say something wrong. But it’s through those moments of fear and those mistakes that we can learn and grow. So when Jackie and Mari were having this conversation, it really resonated with me and everything going on right now.
It truly is people like Jackie who will bring change. It’s people like Jackie who let Mari figure out what she stood for and supported her through it all. We all need a friend like Jackie. I also highly respected how Jackie never pressured Mari or made her feel bad for not speaking up and using her platform. I really did think that all the things the dad instilled in Mari made her silent. She was always guilted to feel bad for whatever she said or did, so she knew not to say or do anything too extreme. She was always told to stand here or say this or do that, so she did as she was told. Like an obedient dog. She was shut down, never listened to. And the dad really made her insecure, if I’m being completely honest—-he tore her down—-so she wouldn’t feel like she could speak. I really liked how Natalia Sylvester built this up and how Mari didn’t speak up until the end.
Let’s pause and talk about Mari’s mom because she was gaslighted by the dad too. The mom is also such a complex character because I could tell she had a lot of spunk and finesse in her, but it was tamped down by her husband’s dreams and goals. So she gave up her dream and goals and I think she lost herself because of that and it created this emptier version that only did what the husband wanted of her—-she listened to him, backed him up, went to his meet and greets. She was the good little first-lady to be. And it just seemed wrong. Every conversation she heard, there was a part of me that felt the mom taped at the mouth, fighting against herself not to say anything back to her husband. I don’t know a lot about the dynamics of a Latino or Mexican household or the culture, but in a Women’s Studies class I took, the professor had a unit about Latinx Feminism where she mentioned machoism. She mentioned how it was when males had a lot of power in the family and the women would just listen and do as the man said to keep the man happy. I’m not too sure if that’s what was going on here, but it felt like Mari’s mom wasn’t speaking up against the dad because of machoism. I also really enjoyed the moment when Mari thinks of her mom as more. Because as much as she was learning the turret behind her dad, she was also discovering how kickbutt her mom used to be. This humanized her in Mari’s eyes because it made her question who her mother was before.
I absolutely enjoyed the moment when Mari’s mom let Mari go to the protest and told her to get out of the car before she changed her mind. That was the smartest thing the mother ever did! 😄 It was her big middle finger to her husband.
And words could not describe how proud of Mari I was to see her March to her dad’s office. WHAT A MARCH! ❤️
“It’s like the more I scream, the less alone I feel. My voice isn’t drowned out because it becomes part of something bigger, amplified.”
(pg. 265)
This truly says it all. The power of protest; I love how Natalia Sylvester put it ❣️. When you march or speak with others, your voice becomes one and your voice becomes stronger, empowered. LOVE THAT.
When they got to the dad’s office building, I LOVED the whole Jackie speech! It was such an empowering moment and it was the moment Jackie had been waiting her whole life for. I would legit stand with Jackie ❣️
“We’re here to be heard. If our legislators find our voices inconvenient, that’s on them. They’re the ones who disrupted our most basic rights first. They’re the ones who need to fix this. Now.”
(pg 271)
I also LOVED the moment he walked towards Mari and was like “You wanted to talk to me, hija. So I came out to listen.”
EXCUSE ME, SIR!!!! YOU’RE DAUGHTER HAS BEEEN TRYING TO TALK TO YOU FOR WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKSSSSS AND IT TAKES HER A WHOLE PROTEST AND SOCIAL MOVEMENT TO FINALLY BE LIKE “OH, LET ME LISTEN NOW?” 😡
IDIOT. 🤪
Completely and utterly an idiot. She was trying to talk to you and you wouldn’t listen!!!!!!!! 😓
Instead of listening, he dismisses them and talks down to them without actually talking to them. And I felt it in his words. I could hear it in his words and I liked the way Mari put it:
“He’s talking up space so that we can’t claim it.”
(pg 276)
Because he was talking circles around them to make them feel like he was listening and like they were good little kids who cared about the democracy was way waa. WHAT A PRICK. But the moment Mari speaks out in front of him—-speaks up? ICONIC 👌🏼👏🏼. I loved how she was like, “No. You’re wrong.” Such simple words, but she freaking found her voice and said what she felt. And I am so freaking proud of her. I felt like Vivi when Mari spoke up and I was tearing up because my gosh the power of the youth is beyond strong and no one should ever doubt it. I legit teared up because if this is the future in real life, then I have hope. I really do. People who speak up even when it’s hard.
I also liked how Mari speaking connected to her namesake and because her name meant ocean. There was this conversation she had with Jackie earlier where she asked her how she was able to speak in public and Jackie told her how the words just came like water—-they flowed. The build up for Mari speaking was described in the same way with how all the tension and fear spilled out of her and how she let her voice flow through her. It was a beautiful moment and beautifully written 😊
“I’m still angry, angrier than I’ve ever been. But Jackie’s right. We’ve got this. Maybe not right away. Maybe not in the next few days. . . . Besides, my anger is too powerful to waste on hurting him. My anger is powerful enough for change.”
(pg. 284)
My gosh, how beautiful does that sound ❣️.
Because you know what? I am frustrated. I am pained. I am overwhelmed. I am angry. I think a lot of us are angry. And our anger shouldn’t be wasted on people, our anger should be harnessed for change. We should use our anger to speak up, speak out, to speak aloud for change. Because pointing fingers at someone to blame them isn’t doing anything, it’s actually doing something.
So let our anger empower us for change. Let it be the change.
I like how Mari said that there’s still work to do because no matter if a problem gets the attention it needs, there’s always more to be done to help the world.
“Even after this ends, when we all go home. This will change everything and we’ll all be changed because of it.”
(pg 268)
Mari was changed because she spoke up. Mari’s whole family dynamic changed the day she decided to speak up.
AND MY GOSH WAS THE DAD A SORE LOSER 🤪. WHAT A CHILD!!!! Sorry, not sorry, but are you joking me, he’s a petty person to not talk to his daughter and give her the cold shoulder. And to also not really talk to his wife because he was mad that she allowed Mari to go to the protest. Besides, I DIDN’T think for a second he would win. SERVES HIM RIGHT. Because people could see through his sleazy performance anyway 😅. I mean, he only made change because a bunch of “dramatic” teens protested at his office and if he didn’t do something he would look bad. So he did the bare minimum to placate them for now. And it sucks because if they didn’t protest at his office, he wouldn’t have made those calls to change things in the first place. He only did it because he felt like he had to for the votes and his “family man” image. FAMILY MAN MY BUTT.
And my gosh, he made Mari feel bad for his loss, saying things like, “Oh, are you happy that I lost?” and all those guilt-trips. My friend, take your guilt-trips to a deserted island because no one needs your negative energy! You loser 😆. I’m kidding (not really). He can suck my toes 🤪.
I really liked the metaphor that the balloons falling from the ceiling stood for because all things have to come down and in their eyes the dad was always a winner. But this was him coming down, him losing. And when the balloons popped it just emphasized it even more. Mari described the sound as loud and angry. Was she angry at her dad or her dad not winning? I think a bit of both.
The ending for me didn’t provide a lot of closure and wasn’t that satisfying, but I guess politics never really is 😂. Even after the epilogue, there were many things I still wanted to know. Does she ever make up with her dad? Because it doesn’t sound like he would ever forgive her. Sad as that may be. Does the dad and mom make up? What about Ricky? Does he forgive Mari at some point? What will the dad do next? Will he actually keep his word and try to change his policies and ways?
“He can’t change who he is. We all know he’d rather be running. For president, for senator, for anything. I wonder if now, maybe he’ll run for me. But I can’t wait for him to make a decision before I make one of my own.”
(pg. 315)
Truthfully, I do think the dad can change who he is. I think there is a good person beneath it all who wants to do right by his kids, but I think he lost who he was to politics—-his vision. And it goes back to that initial thought I had in how does politics change a person. Because he had good intentions going into it, but how much of that good intention actually gets followed through. It’s like the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” The dad’s actions and lack of said a lot.
The title being Running was beyond fitting in so many ways. The dad running for president and it also took on the meaning of how the dad ran away from all the problems he knew were true. He ran and ignored it because it was easier, comfortable, to leave those issues behind. But he shouldn’t have run if he was so afraid to be caught in his lies, his words, and his deception. It makes me think of how people say that only a guilty person runs 🤔. You know, if you do something wrong and someone accuses you for it, then why would you run? It felt like that. It feels like that. Why would the dad run if he knew he was guilty? Why would he be defensive if he knew he was wrong? Why would he be scared if he knew he was wrong and it was over? WHY?
There’s a lot of questions, but there is no question that when a person runs, we chase them. We chase them for the truth and justice. And when we catch them, we confront them—-we rise up to them.
And that’s what Mari did.
She’s a true fighter. We all have Mari in us, we just have to be aware of what’s going on, to find people who believe in what we do or to listen to others in what they do, and to rise. Chase and rise. Never run away or be silent. That’s when they get away, that’s when they win.
” . . . Telling the truth makes life harder for people who don’t want things to change.”
(pg. 292)
Mari couldn’t have been more right.
Such a relevant read because it makes you think, it makes you angry, and it makes you empowered. It surely did that for me.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this.
And as always, with love,
4.67 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Everyone can see a piece of themselves in Mari in what it means to be young and interested in politics in a world that makes you feel “childish” or “too dramatic” for it. I love how she grows throughout the book and how she finds the courage to use her voice.
Plot: A story that is much needed in the political climate of today’s world.
Writing: Beautifully written with such well-crafted lines and phrases that made me think and relate to them.
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