May 2021 Quote: Happiness First

“I am putting my happiness first

After always thinking

I came last.”

– floweringpages

To the person who needs to hear it, YOU matter, YOU are valued, YOU deserve love, and YOU deserve happiness. And if no one has told you this today, then I am glad you are here. I realized sometimes we do not hear it enough—-how valued, loved, or deserving we are. We take these sentiments for granted or for presumption that everyone feels that way naturally, but sometimes we do not.

And sometimes we forget in our value that we deserve to come first.

For the past year, I have been doing nothing but school—-pouring myself over and over into a bucket that already took everything from me. Here I am on May 6, 2021, writing this blog post—-the day when I finished my last class for spring semester 2021. And I am writing this with relief and exhaustion.

I have not been putting myself first.

I made school the priority. I made other people’s happiness a priority. I made myself last.

And when we constantly put ourselves last, we get the brunt of the exhaustion, hurt, and sadness that we leave open for us. If we do not protect ourselves or care for ourselves first, we are not loving ourselves enough to say we matter or to say we are valued, loved, or deserving of happiness. But we are.

Sometimes, I know people put others first because that is who they are. And that is beyond noble and respectable if you put others above yourself, and by all means you should depending on the situation. But you need to remember that you cannot help someone else if you do not help yourself first. You may have heard this metaphor or situation before, or you may have not, but there is this saying how when you are on an airplane, you do not put the mask on someone else first. You put your own mask on because how could you help someone put a mask over them if you do not put your mask on. You cannot help someone if you are struggling. You need to put yourself first. Is it the selfless thing to put someone else’s mask first? Absolutely. But is it wrong to put your mask on so you can help others? No. You are not selfish for taking care of yourself and prioritizing what makes you happy or what you love.

I grew up in a transitional time where people never talked about self-love because it was seen as narcissistic to love yourself. But now, everyone talks about self-love, as we should. Loving yourself should have never felt like a shameful thing because it makes it hard to feel like it is okay to be happy. I remember I felt wrong if I said I felt confident or happy. I remember I felt weird to even say I loved myself. And for a long time because I felt these things, I did not love myself because I felt like I did not deserve happiness or love. But I did. You do too. You deserve to love yourself every day of your life to do things that make you happy and to put yourself first.

Please do not think you are selfish for wanting to put yourself first.

Please do not thing you have to go the extra miles for other people when you need to be there for you.

Please do not feel like you are not worthy of self-love or happiness.

Please do not tire yourself with work or responsibilities because you feel trapped to it.

Please do not believe you are last.

You are first.

You come first.

Your mental health,

physical,

emotional,

spiritual,

social,

or whatever.

You come first.

Go for a walk.

Go outside.

Talk to friends.

Dance.

Sing.

Love.

Laugh.

Celebrate.

Read.

Write.

Do something that makes you beyond happy everyday. Do something each day that makes you love life and that makes your soul lighten up in the best way. Do this for yourself.

Because I think at the end of the day people just want to be happy. They want to lead a good life of happiness and security. That cannot happen without you making the changes and saying I will put myself first. Even if you say it for five seconds, ten minutes, thirty minutes, or a whole day. Take the time you need to do what matters to you and what strengths you from the inside out.

Do so, because you deserve it.

Happiness will follow.

As always, with love,