Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella Book Review
“Are you finding the retreat helpful so far?” she asks as we walk.
Well, it’s helped me get laid.
“Yes,” I say earnestly. “Yes, very much so.”
(pg. 83)
About
Author: Sophie Kinsella
Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance
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Synopsis
Call Ava romantic, but she thinks love should be found in the real world, not on apps that filter men by height, job, or astrological sign. She believes in feelings, not algorithms. So after a recent breakup and dating app debacle, she decides to put love on hold and escapes to a writers’ retreat in remote, coastal Italy. She’s determined to finish writing the novel she’s been fantasizing about, even though it means leaving her close-knit group of friends and her precious dog, Harold, behind.
At the retreat, she’s not allowed to use her real name or reveal any personal information. When the neighboring martial arts retreat is canceled and a few of its attendees join their small writing group, Ava, now going by “Aria,” meets “Dutch,” a man who seems too good to be true. The two embark on a baggage-free, whirlwind love affair, cliff-jumping into gem-colored Mediterranean waters and exploring the splendor of the Italian coast. Things seem to be perfect.
But then their real identities—Ava and Matt—must return to London. As their fantasy starts to fade, they discover just how different their personal worlds are. From food choices to annoying habits to sauna etiquette . . . Are they compatible in anything? And then there’s the prickly situation with Matt’s ex-girlfriend, who isn’t too eager to let him go. As one mishap follows another, it seems that, while they love each other, they just can’t love each other’s lives. Can they reconcile their differences to find a life together?
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To the opposites that attract,
This book was a JOYRIDE. I just have to say first that there has never been a Sophie Kinsella book that has failed to make me laugh. I mean that. Even with her more serious books, there was humor that was light and relatable and endearing. This book made me have the best laugh I’ve ever had in a long time, and that’s saying something because I’ve been stressed with focusing on school since September, so I needed a good laugh.
I don’t mean a good laugh in a bad way, but a cathartic, enjoyment way.
Sophie Kinsella books are pure dopamine 💙.
With that said, I need preface that the review might sound like a roast, but it’s not a roast at Sophie Kinsella’s writing or the story. I love love love Sophie Kinsella’s writing and her books, it’s just Love Your Life might not be my favorite Sophie Kinsella book. There were some things that weren’t believable or my favorite. And again, not to hate on anyone, just my opinion.
Let’s start with Ava. Ava was kind of off her rocker in a sort of unsettling, but intriguing way.
She loved to adopt things—books, furniture, ideas, dogs. I feel like we could have delved more into her past trauma or upbringing to understand why she adopts things—-there’s definitely a story there. Or why she tried to hard to get her and Dutch/Matt to work. Was she adopted? Were her parents unloving towards each other so she saw how much their marriage didn’t work so she wanted to everything she could in a relationship to make it work? Not me psychoanalyzing her 😅. I was more curious to who Ava was.
It makes sense though why she adopted Henry, which she really could have trained better if we’re being honest. I think, yes, let dogs be dogs, but the way she let Henry run all willy nilly wasn’t the healthiest and I think it would have helped her if Henry knew some basic commands like sit or stay or lie down. That way the mother-dog dynamic would have been so overpowering because I could tell Ava felt overpowered by her dog. Again, not in a bad way, but in the way that Ava was also very passive. I am a passive, non-confrontational person too, so we don’t really like to speak up for ourselves because it makes us nervous sometimes. I felt like Ava could be confrontational, but I also felt like she didn’t like to step on the toes of those she loved because it would hurt them, and by extension, hurt her. She felt like someone who felt things deeply. But that’s not a bad thing—to feel deeply—-that means she was just in touch with her emotion to empathize with others because she probably knew what it was like to feel their pain. Knowing this about Ava, made me even more curious to her upbringing.
I’m happy she had a found family with Nell, Sarika, and Maud.
I loved how Sophie Kinsella gave each person a personality that was so different but lovable. I loved how fierce and bold Nell was. She felt like the tough mom of the group, while Ava was the tender mom. Maud was the actual mom and she was downright hilarious and the most lovable; anyone would fall under her spell and do what she asked. I kind of worry about her kids though because she always seems distracted or like she didn’t know where they were. Sarika was the logical, hopeless romantic of the group. Online dating is the rage these days, but gosh, I can’t believe there would be this entire app that is so knit-picky about who you swipe right on or something. I mean, yes, please, be picky about who you choose to love, but also don’t be so closed off and have all these frivolous expectations. I thought that she wanted a guy who lived within ten minutes of the tube, was a bit narrow minded, not to judge. But, Ava had a point—that the love of Sarika’s life could be living eleven minutes away and she might have not known or found him because she only wanted someone who lived ten minutes away. Again, we should want someone who shares the same morals and values as us, but when we focus on everything we don’t want, there’s little room to see that maybe it’s not what we need. Sometimes love has a surprising way of finding you or presenting itself.
Ava was completely open to love, maybe too open if you know what I mean 😅.
But we’ll get more into that later.
But together, they seemed like a bunch of random people living together, but I loved that they stayed together and supported each other all these years. They just worked together, and sometimes you just have people in your life who feel like family. I loved the relationships and dynamic they had, especially between Nell and Ava. They felt closer in the way they looked out for each other. And honesty, get you friends who support your dreams and let you achieve them because they have unwavering belief that you can do it.
I loved that they let Ava go on this writing retreat.
I have never been on a writing retreat, but this retreat almost felt cultish or like a temple or something. Wasn’t the retreat in a temple or something? I think so. But it was just plain awaked the way the retreat felt; I got weird vibes. I mean, hey, if it helped the creative process, then by all means. I liked the idea, though, of having pseudonyms because the writers would focus less on each other’s history, and more on their writing. It also created this mystery when two people from the kickboxing retreat showed up and joined them.
In came Dutch, and to be freaking honest this SIS skipped falling and CATAPULTED 🤪.
Zero to 10,000.
I mean, Ava barely knew the dude and she was creating this whole narrative that she loved him. And her possessiveness and obsessiveness about “Dutch” was a bonkers because she BARELY KNEW HIM. She also used anything and everything he said and twisted it to fit this narrative of the man she was looking for, which was ridiculous.
I mean, Dutch liked dogs, she thought he was her soulmate.
I like dogs, but am I her soulmate.
Heck to the no.
You can find anyone who likes dogs. But it was just soooooo weird and too quick the way she fell in “love” with Dutch. And to be frank, it was weird how quickly he also fell for her. Two impulsive fall-in-lovers. It was just weird. The friends and I were on the same wavelength excuse they were also telling Ava that she barely knew the dude and was oner the moon with him.
In high school, I had an English teacher who I barely learned anything from; we didn’t do much in her class. But one of the things I remember learning was the difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation is a quick feeling of liking someone based on maybe looks or admiration for the person. Love, true love, well, it runs much deeper than feeling infatuated with how someone looks or acts. Plain and simple that “Dutch” and Ava were infatuated with the idea of each other because it was a fun game to play on the retreat. They had no one else to talk to, and Ava probably was the most interesting person in the room, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that hot man would “love” the first person in the room who gave him attention 😅. LA DUH. And don’t even get me started with how Dutch was just coming off a break up with the ex who was in this kick-boxing retreat. No dip Sherlock, that he would want to have fun on this retreat with the first pretty girl he found. Amazing.
Honestly, they had one cute scene and that was it. ONE CUTE SCENE. Once cute scene that wasn’t even honest. Ava pushed herself to be brave for Dutch and jump off this cliff because he asked her if she wanted to jump off the rock into the ocean. They weren’t being their true selves, so I don’t know how they were in love with each other when they weren’t even honest with each other, and heck, they didn’t even know each other’s name. Then they played in the sand and stacked some ROCKS 😂. They stacked rocks and called it romantic, a real tear-jerking moment????! The rock-stacking had a nice sentiment. Was it a nice moment? Yea. But was it a moment that validated the love they had for each other? I don’t think so. I stacked rocks with friends on the playground when I was five. Heck, I would pull grass when I was in elementary school and make “salad” with leaves and rocks. If stacking rocks was the epitome of their relationship, boy did they peak. Maybe stacking rocks was a metaphor for starting with a strong foundation, but I don’t think so.
And whoop di doo, they also loved ice cream together 😂. I LOVE ICE CREAM too!!! They didn’t KNOW EACH OTHER and were making all these excuses like they did. Bro, loving dogs and ice cream does not relationship make. I just didn’t buy it. They didn’t like each other.
They lusted each other too.
They sure did it on the retreat. I started to wonder if they were actually writing. When they shared their wiring, I was CACKLING because it was so obvious they were writing about each other. They were bold, I give them that. I also couldn’t help but laugh at how relatable Ava was with her writing because when I get stuck on wondering how to describe something or someone, I used the thesaurus or I google things that could make a good metaphor. So when Ava described the love interest in her story that moaned like a Heleiorous eyrie frog . . . 😂? I COULD NOT. No one would probably know what the metaphor meant. I think sometimes when we write, we should use things that are familiar to us because if we don’t know what they meant, our readers probably won’t know either. I remember when I had my first “laptop,” I say “laptop” because it was a huge computer that was my dad’s. I was eight or seven and he gave it to me, but the only thing I could do on it was type. I remember I was typing a story and I wanted to say that the character had a funny look in his eyes or her eyes. I searched synonyms for funny, and kinky came up. When I got older and realized what kinky meant, I freakig laughed. Little me me had no clue. I think use your safe words and metaphors.
Anyway, the writing retreat was an instalove journey that got nothing done. To be honest, the whole writing retreat didn’t seem important to the story until later in the book because it felt like writing fell off the table after they returned from the retreat. I wondered what happened to Ava’s story she was writing because it didn’t seem like she was writing anything. Like what happened to it? I think the writing retreat could have been something magical if we spent the book at a writing retreat and they learned more about each other to build an actual bond rather than a bond they thought they built over rocks. I don’t know, I thought we would spend this book in an Italian writing retreat, which sounded pretty cool to me.
“And I know it wasn’t real, I know that. But real is hard sometimes.
Real is really hard.”
(pg. 249)
When they returned to real life, they were really deluding themselves that they could make it work. They promised each other at the end of the retreat that they were it for each other. They shouldn’t have spoken too quickly, if you ask me.
It’s funny how much Ava created this narrative of who she thought Dutch was when she didn’t know him. She thought he was some French carpenter or something. I mean, boy did she get the wrong impression. But that within itself should have been a red flag to her—-that this guy she’s so in love with, isn’t even a person she could read or figure out. What made her think that they were actually going to work?
The more she found out about him, the more surprised I was that she didn’t run or call the relationship off. I’m surprised that Matt didn’t either.
First, the obvious—they knew nothing about each other.
Dutch was Matt who was rich and who ran the family owned dollhouse business. Ava was a writer, aroma therapist, and a freelance graphic designer. I think it’s admirable that Ava kept her options open because sometimes we don’t know what to do, or we want to pursue all our passions. I liked that for her.
Second, they had absolutely nothing in common.
Matt loved golf—a golf fanatic. A brother of one of the golf champions. Ava detested golf with a burning passion. I’m surprised that she was open to trying golf for him, but she really did want to make the relationship work, which was admirable. But sis, didn’t like golf and I think she should have been upfront with Matt about it. Because what was a relationship if they were lying to each other about simple things they liked or disliked? They weren’t being their honest selves, so they couldn’t love each other if they still didn’t know each other? And saying something to make someone happy, isn’t going to work out well because it bottles these emotions that’s going to explode one day.
Matt also had robots that brought them food. I think technology is great and helpful, but using the robots because they were lazy to walk to the cabinet and grab a bag of chips was a bit much. Matt also didn’t have chocolate in his house, which is a no from me too 😂. I was with Ava on that one.
“And I’m a meat-eating capitalist,” says Matt robustly. “Sorry about that,” he adds, sounding not at all apologetic.
(pg. 201
Matt wasn’t a vegetarian, and had no plans on being a vegetarian. I don’t think anyone should force anyone to be something they’re not or don’t want to be. Of course, being a vegetarian is ethical and environmentally friendly and more people should be vegetarians. I have nothing against being vegetarian or the lifestyle, I just felt like it was unfair of Ava to expect Matt to be vegetarian if that wasn’t him. He could have been more open to the vegetarian lifestyle for sure, but that’s a process that happens over months or years. So Ava could have been patient with that rather than expecting Matt to give up meat the first day of them being a real couple.
Matt hated his job. He was unhappy because it wasn’t something he wanted to do anymore, which I could understand. I felt awful that he felt like he had to be stuck in his job because of the family expectation or that he felt the need to prove himself. That’s so tough when you spend your time trying to prove your worth to people who don’t even deserve it because his parents should have been proud of Matt regardless if he had an athletic accomplishment. He had so many accomplishments. It’s also rough because I know may people who do stay in their job even if they are unhappy because they do not know what else to do or they feel stuck. You’re never obligated or stuck to one thing. People change, and it’s natural for our interests to change or for our jobs to change. We can figure things out and what we want to do next. I understand, though, not everyone had the luxury of quitting their job to find something new that aligns with their interests because they have to take care of themselves or others. Do something on the side that makes you happy, and if it’s something you can turn into a carrier or job, go for it if you can. Do what makes you happy 💙.
Ava lived in colorful chaos. Her house had everything adopted and posters that made no sense to anyone but her. Honestly, they gave Ava too much shiz for the flower poster saying because for one, she didn’t write it, two, it’s not really that deep, and three, it’s just decor. They needed to stop making her feel bad by overanalyzing something she bought because she loved it. I liked that she thrifted things and up cycled them because way to be environmentally friendly 👏🏼. We love! But I understand how her furniture didn’t look the most inviting and it wasn’t the safest. I think if Ava had her furniture triple checked or something or ensured that it was safe, then I believe that would have made Matt feel more at ease at being at her place. She just needed to check.
Ava also had a rambunctious dog rather than like what Matt was used to. Again, let dog’s be dog, but also have a healthy relationship with your dog and to provide some basic training or commands. I don’t think Henry’s a bad dog, but had been through a bad situation and could have learn to be the best dog he could be.
Third, they lived very different lifestyles.
Ava’s reaction to Matt’s house was freaking priceless 😂. If I was Ava, I would have felt put off and shocked by the art. I mean, Matt had to know that the art in his house wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea because it’s probably not the most palatable. That’s not to say the art wasn’t good art because every art piece is unique and has a meaning to its artist, but to Ava, it looked like scary art. A statue with another animals teeth in it would freak out anyone, and a hairless wolf over the bed was weird as heck. When Ava understood the art later on in the book, we both had more respect for its story; that’s what happens when we figure out what is deeper than the surface of something. Her reaction, though, understandable.
As touched on before, Matt didn’t really like Ava’s house because he saw it as too colorful and whimsical compared to his sterile, gray building. I’m more of a color person, but I liked a solid black, white, and gray decor as much as the next person. But Matt didn’t need to be so hard on Ava’s colorful house because that was her. Also, I understood his worry about the screen doors and the windows because I’m also one for safety. He was also probably very worried for her.
They also enjoyed different body temperatures. Matt liked things cold and Ava felt everything was too cold. I’m the same way. I don’t know if this is accurate, so politely correct me if I’m wrong, but I heard once that men have higher/warmer body temperature than woman because they have muscle or more hair or something that makes them warmer. Women have a lower/colder body temperature and our hair on our body keeps us warm too, but we get cold faster. So men like things super cold because to them it’s cold, but to us women, it’s SUPER cold. My brother is the same way where he can sit in 40 degrees and it will be cold or not cold enough but if I sit in 40 degrees, I’d be a Popsicle in Antartica.
I did appreciate how we got to see them navigate living together because I never really read a book that talked about how difficult it can be to live with a partner at first. When a person is used to living on his/her own, it’s weird to have someone in your personal space—sharing your bathroom, kitchen, closet, bed. It’s an adjustment, and it’s not always pretty as Ava and Matt emphasized. It takes work.
If there’s a motto from this review, it’s relationships take work.
They had to work on figuring out what worked best with live together and get along even though all sings pointed the they really had nothing in common in this false, silent, try-to-please relationship. They worked really hard.
Continuing with bodies, Matt’s family had a different comfort level. Matt really should have warned her that his family was comfortable going into saunas in the nude because that would have saved Ava the mortification of meeting too much of the family.
Meeting Matt’s family was interesting because we knew they were rich, but seeing how rich was a different thing. For one, the parents had their heads stuck up too many doll houses to notice how unhappy their son was. Also, they needed to stop brining up Genevie the ex because Matt had moved on and wasn’t engaged or interested in that woman. They also were so rude not to put trophies in the foyer of Matt’s accomplishments. Petty. The mom was also very controlling with not letting anyone talk or share anything at the table. No wonder Matt wasn’t open about anything—-his mom the shush police always interfered with conversation, which made conversations difficult. He was used to holding things in.
Matt wasn’t as open with Ava as she was with him. I’m not blaming Matt or saying he was wrong because it’s hard to open up to people or talk when all you know is quiet or you’ve been told to shut it for most of your life. I struggle with the same thing, and I have been told that I can be a closed book. It’s not easy, and I’m not saying Matt had to open up to Ava right away or say anything that didn’t make him comfortable. But if they were going to have an honest relationship and truly get to know each other, I felt like he should have said something to ease Ava’s nerves about Genevie. Because he kept it in or gave Ava one-worded answers, it drove her nutzo’s about who Genevie was. I would feel overwhelmed if I had a boyfriend who had an ex who was still prominently in his life and whose parents worshipped the ground the ex walked on. That’s intimidating. Ava needed reassurance, and he wasn’t making it easy on her with yes and no answers. She deserved to know a part of the story or at least be told that she has nothing to worry about. The whole lets-have-a-relationship-without-any-baggage was unrealistic. Relationships do have baggage—-they come with baggage. We support or walk with other people as they carry their baggage because that’s what relationships are. It’s not saying, I don’t like your past, let’s leave it there and never talk about it and act like it never happened. Everyone has a past. Relationships say that I see your past and your baggage, let’s talk about it, and we can move forward together.
They weren’t going anywhere because they were trapped in all this baggage that they weren’t heavy lifting.
While we’re on Genevie, I didn’t like her. If she really didn’t want anything to do with Matt, she would stop butting her head into his business or being passive and petty about where she stood with Matt. I knew her game. Also, there had to be a part of Genevie that always wanted to get back together with Matt because I think she wouldn’t have kept the job if she loved him that much because it would hurt to be connected to the brand he still worked at. Or that’s at least what I would do. I don’t think it would be healthy to be an environment where I have to look at my ex everyday, especially knowing that the ex called off the engagement. Yes, he was engaged to her, but to Matt it wasn’t a big deal. Being engaged to someone is a big deal.
Fourth, Matt and Ava had different friend circles.
Matt meeting Ava’s friends was freaking iconic 👌🏼—-my favorite part of the entire book. I FREAKING LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF. Not really, of course, but gosh, I was in hysterics.
Matt was ssoooo out of his element because he’s more introverted like me, so when around new people, it can be overwhelming. He did so well though, and he should be proud that he conversed well and made a good impression on Ava’s friends. It was funny how he fell under Maud’s spell by saying yes to her favors (clean favors, not dirty ones 😆). But what got me was Maud’s drunken speech 👏🏼!!!!
“You’re frightening our children,” persists the woman, gesturing at a pari of toddlers who look about two years old and are watching Maud avidly.
“Frightening your children?” counters Nell in outrage. “How is it frightening to hear a strong, wonderful woman saying she exists? I’ll tell you what’s frightening—our unequal society. That’s frightening. Our politicians. They’re frightening. If your children want to be afraid of something, be afraid of them.”
(pg. 211-2)
Oh my MAUD 😂!!!
Freaking FUNNY.
Maud cracked me up!! She kept yelling she exists because she was drunk and it was her birthday, but I could not with how Nell was like, a powerful woman saying she exists is not frightening. I agree!
We exist. We turned this birthday into a feminist lesson for these kids the park.
Taylor Swift said F*** the patriarchy.
“I’m a woman, OK?” Maud is once more addressing the general populace of the park, her arms sweeping around dramatically. “With a soul. And a heart. And a libido. A libido to die for.”
“What’s a lejbdo?” asks Bertie with interest, and I exchange looks with Sarika.
“Okay,” she says. “Speeches are over. Who’s got some coffee?”
(pg. 213)
What’s a libido 😂??????
Poor thing. *sighs in laughter* I loved Maud. What a woman.
As for Matt’s friends, he also hung out with an interesting group.
Nihal was very technical—a brilliant mind. He created the robots and everything. He was like the fly on the wall.
Topher was a character, for sure. I felt bad that everyone described him as this extremely ugly person 😢. Like that’s mean. Just because he looks different, doesn’t make him ugly. I understand if we were trying to make him this brute looking teddy-bear, but we didn’t need to call the dude ugly.
When I imagined Topher, I saw Yao from Mulan
Tell me I’m wrong 🤪.
Topher was an interesting character. He hated everyone and people were scared of him because how he looked and pushed people away, but he had some keen thoughts running around in his brain. He was also a very nice guy who helped Ava (or maybe not so helped Ava) when she was worried about things with Matt.
“Do you think Matt enjoys his job?” I venture.
“Of course not,” Topher replies, so briskly that I blink. . . “Oh, he has success like anyone. He has family pride in the company. But overall, deep-down, contented happiness? No.”
(pg. 287)
He really looked out for Matt, which I loved. He knew Matt’s fears and insecurities better than Matt knew them himself—best friends tend to know those things. I also liked how Topher wanted Matt to be happy and to stop workmen at the Harriet’s house and work for him. But Topher knew why Matt would never quit his job. I still appreciated how Topher kept the door open for Matt to work with him if he wanted to. A best friend wants you to be happy. Topher also believed in Matt and Ava’s relationship for some reason. I believe that said a lot that Topher thought Ava and Matt were good together after all Matt’s previous relationships.
I loved the bastard board because it was just a funny running joke 😂.
Also, who let this guy fun for Parliament 😅?
“Who doesn’t want things to be better and sexier?” retorts Topher defensively.”
(pg. 189)
My goodness 😂.
Is he wrong though?
That’s not a bad campaign ploy. Ridiculous, but not the worst thing I heard if you know what I mean.
I really can’t believe we had Topher trying again for Parliament at the end of the book.
I also loved when Ava and Matt’s friends met each other. They oddly got along, which is so good considering how their relationship wasn’t doing the best. I cracked up at how Sarika brought the guy she fairly narrowed down to, Sam. Sam seemed like such a wonderful guy, shame he lived 30 minutes away from the Tube 😂!! It was hysterical how Ava and Matt’s friends understood that they needed Sam’s commute to be ten minutes so they all tried to find ways to cut down Sam’s time form the Tube. Get a skateboard and run they said 😂 (pg. 308). I loved how much they wanted Sam and Sarika to work. That’s true friendship and teamwork right there.
But Sam and Sarika’s perfectly matched relationship made Ava question her relationship with Matt. Ava acted above dating apps and being narrow minded, so as much as she wanted to prove to her friends and herself that you shouldn’t be closed-minded with love, I felt like in the moment how she wished she had been more selective with who she was with. I could understand that. It’s easier to get along with someone who understand you or likes what you like.
Topher and Nell also had chemistry. We all felt it. Topher respected a strong woman as he should. I’m glad they turned into something more, and knew that that was where they were heading all along.
My conclusion for their relationship was that there were utterly incompatible.
Not to be mean, I was waiting for them to break-up 😂. Not that I’m saying that you should give up on love if you don’t try. But I feel like there comes a point where if you know it’s not working and you have a gut feeling that it’s not a healthy relationship or you deserve better, then I think it’s okay to say, “You know what? I tried my best to make this work and I feel like this isn’t the right nelaionthip for me.” It’s okay.
Maybe they both had a gut feeling I could not feel because they kept trying despite everything. And that’s love right there, thought—-when people who love each other, don’t give up on each other. They try to make things work. But to me, it felt like they were trying to jam Anastasia’s foot into Cinderella’s slipper, over and over again, and they kept hurting each other and it was time to let go rather than force the foot to fit the slipper.
Part of trying to shove their relationship in the wrong shoe, was thinking of each other like different countries.
I thought that was actually a smart metaphor or idea because when you go to a new country or place, there’s all these unfamiliar customs, traditions, foods, and lifestyles that you acclimate over time. That’s what Ava and Matt were—-two lands that they needed to adjust to. When put that way, it was natural that they didn’t click because they were going to take time. I liked how they tried to compromise by learning golf or meeting each other’s friends. They showed interest in each other’s lives to better understand each other. I liked when Matt used essential oils and actually liked them or how Ava didn’t think golf was literally terrible. They were warming up to each other and their interests. I think one of the things I didn’t like was how Matt never went the extra effort to ensure Ava’s dietary preference was included with meals. Just because he wasn’t a vegetarian, doesn’t mean his girlfriend should have to starve at events because he wasn’t respectful enough to remember to say that his girlfriend was vegetarian. That wasn’t nice. I mean, the sis ate peas, lettuce, and carrots in this book.
Another thing they did to make things work was date nights or cute moments. I liked that cute moment when Matt acted spontaneous and carefree because he did seem like the Dutch she met. I feel like that’s hard—-when you meet someone and they are someone else and then you have to reconcile with who they are in your mind. This whole book felt like them getting to know each other after already saying they fell in love, which is the exact opposite of how it should have worked out. I also thought the only cute thing in their real relationship was when Matt gifted her the stacked stones. He carried the rocks his carry on and glued them together like how they made it. Bro must have had a weighty carry on to carry some rocks 😂. How romantic.
At least they talked about their issues as much as they could. If they had any less communication than they already did, they wouldn’t’ have worked this long. They also argued a lot, which was natural. Arguing is part of being in a relationship because two people can’t agree all the time. Arguing has to be two people against a problem and not two people against each other. They had healthy arguments about how they really felt and when they finally honest about not liking each other’s interest, I felt like that was one less wall they had to break. Their arguments were always conveniently interrupted so they would instantly forgive each other without solving anything.
Their biggest argument was was an inferno.
They were both having awful days. Matt with his family and offending Ava. Ava with feeling like Matt didn’t back her up by saying he was going to go to Japan for work. A job proposition with his ex-girlfriend who obmiouly wanted him back. I agreed that Ava had a right to feel angry and hurt because he didn’t even tell her about everything going on at Harriet’s. He also said he wasn’t going to Japan, but when asked by everyone else, he didn’t exactly say no, which sent the wrong message to Ava. But what was she supposed to think? I would think the same thing too. The more Ava told him to clear the air, the more reserved he would get about it, which I get it, it’s hard to stand up to unhealthy parents. But he needed to stand up for himself and his girlfriend and say he wasn’t going to Japan because that was the decision they made together. But he chose to say nothing, and Ava spoke up for him. He still didn’t back her up, which was wrong. It was not her responsibility to fight his battles, but she’d be darned if she enabled him to go to Japan without making that decision with her. Relationships were a team. I really wanted him to chase after her when she walked away. C’mon Matt 👏🏼!!
When she took the gold club in anger to swing out her feelings, I had a bad feeling. She accidentally broke his precious art. I would think that she broke the art on purpose because she made it known that she didn’t like the art and she was angry as heck when she left the convention. She didn’t need to talk to him at that moment, but she did because she was the bigger person. They really had at it with saying the deeper part of what they felt. Matt felt like Ava didn’t finish anything because she was all willy-nilly and didn’t know what she wanted. Ava said that he was unhappy in his job and that he didn’t stand. up for himself because he was scared. They both weren’t wrong—-they saw enough and understood enough of each other to know they weren’t wrong. But it sucks how people can use your deepest insecurity to hurt you.
“OK.” Somehow I find a shrug. “Well, I guess we know the truth now. We didn’t fit all along.”
“I guess we do.”
(pg. 353)
I’ve been saying this the entire review and book, but they had absolutely nothing in common.
Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes they just don’t work out.
As much as I knew I was right, it was bittersweet to hear them concede after trying so hard. I give them respect for putting in all this effort to make things work, but at the same time, it felt right that they finally said, “it’s not working.”
Nell was the mediator force that needed most of their arguments with a call. Gosh, Nell 😢. I love Nell and her strength and love for Ava even when she wasn’t feeling too strong. What I loved most was that after Ava and Matt broke-up, Nell encouraged, heck, practically shoved Ava out the door, to finish her book. I loved that 💙. Nell wanted Ava to continue to live her life for her and not worry about her.
“And suddenly, I don’t sit here anymore, a specter on my own life.”
(pg. 376)
They both took time to themselves.
Ava went to the retreat again where she formed a stronger friendship with Farida and Felicity. Farida was the leader of the writing retreat and Felicity was one of the mysterious writers there who followed Farida to the retreat because she had a gut feeling that Farida was the one. They met previously at a literary festival and Felicity couldn’t get Farida out of her mind. Their relationship actually worked, and it seemed healthy. They had the true love story of the writing retreat.
Also, I just have to say I am extremely proud of Ava for focusing on one thing and finishing her manuscript. I was soooo proud of her 😊.
“Typing the ending is everything.”
(pg. 365)
It truly is. It’s so weird because you can spend months or years working on a manuscript or project, and then the second you type the ending or the end, it feels like a euphoric rush in that moment, then you sit there, thinking, “Now what?” It’s funny because it feels like only a celebration you fully understand because you put in the time, effort, and dedication for that manscurpit to know how hard it was to make it to the end. It truly is a feat worth celebrating because writing a book is not easy. When I finished my first full manuscript, I felt entirely elated and I jumped around the room and did a lap in my living room—-I did it! I finished my first full project. It feels good because I spent the time on a project I had no idea where it was going or what would happen, but I did it. After I jumped to myself, I wasn’t sure how to feel—-it’s like getting to the top of the mountain and realizing you still had to climb back down.
But it’s so worth it—-always worth it—-to reach the top.
But she proved to herself that she could do something and finish it if she set her mind to it. I don’t think she was proving anything to Matt because she had nothing to prove to him. Also, I must say, it was kind of quick how she got a book deal. I mean, a girl can dream over here 🙈. I’m genuinely curious about her Henry dog story. Was it like a Marley and Me kind of story or . . .? I don’t know, I would think YA or NA romance would land an agent quickly, but mostly everyone loves dogs. But Ava getting an agent right off the bat, made me think about how finding an agent is taking a chance, part luck, and part who you know. Ava knew Felicity who knew someone who wanted to represent her, which was awesome and I’m happy for her. I mean that. But it’s just really hard in the real world to find an agent or to feel like you’ll ever get represented if you don’t know the right connections and you’re sitting in the query trenches. Gosh, the query trenches. It’s been a while since I’ve queried, but when I learned more about the publishing process, my eyes were open and I saw that it really is a business world. But I digress. I don’t say any of this to discourage people from querying because GO FOR IT!! You got this!! It’s just hard to query and it feels nerve-wracking to send your writing to someone, hoping that it would resonate with an angent, and then feeling discouraged when you hear nothing. But hey, that’s life, and that happens. There’s going to be a yes one day, there is always hope that someone will resonate with what you write. So keep writing and keep trying. And most importantly, I always think about the sentiment of writing for you—-write like you are the only person who will ever read your book. That’s when the heart comes out 💙.
Much love to my writers out there.
I also liked how you could feel a change in Ava’s mindset, and I loved how Sophie Kinsella shifted the tone to reflect that. Ava felt calmer, more introspective, more realistic and honest with herself. I didn’t feel like she was bouncing around in her thinking or being impulsive. She was clear when she was away from distraction and her old life. There’s something about being somewhere else that makes you feel more free to be someone else, maybe a version of yourself you never realized. Ava also tried to set boundaries with herself by not thinking about Matt. I know that must have been extremely difficult for her because she fell quickly for him. Also, the retreat was where they fell in love, so that must have been challenging to not see Matt everywhere she looked.
“Because here’s the thing. You can cut all the flowers, but you can’t stop spring from coming. I don’t care what they say, you can’t. It pops up. It won’t be subdued. It’s there all the time, deep underground, dormant, waiting.”
(pg. 371)
Ava also tried to set boundaries with herself by not thinking about Matt. I know that must have been extremely difficult for her because she fell quickly for him. Also, the retreat was where they fell in love, so that must have been challenging to not see Matt everywhere she looked. It’s also hard not to think about something because they can naturally pop into your mind even if you don’t want it to. I know when I was getting over a crush, I would push him out my mind, but in moments I thought I was good, I would think about my crush again. But I liked that Ava was self-aware to not spend too much time on google or social media because she would grow obsessed with wanting to know what Matt had been up to.
Matt had a lot of changes to in the seven months we last saw him. He quit the job he was unhappy with, which good for him. It was about time. He tried to eat more tofu and cook more. He learned more about spices. He adopted a book. I also loved that he was mending with his family because they had pictures of him in teh family trophy case, thanks to Ava. I liked how Ava also still kept a healthy relationship with Matt’s relatives because that was so kind of her to reach out and listen to the Uncle when the Uncle never felt heard and wanted someone to talk to. That jus melted my heart because she listened and was there for him 🥺.
Matt was also there for Ava’s friends. It was such a sweet surprise that Topher and Nihal were all over at Ava’s house. Nihal and Maud were entranced with different tech things and Topher was protective and caring of Nell. I loved how Nihal used his technology to create robots to help Nell around the house. Now that was actually a useful and productive way to use his technology 👌🏼. Sarika and Sam were still together despite the fact he did live 30 minutes away. I thought it was just so wholesome that they all wanted to be friends even if Matt and Ava broke up because they had a good bond.
Of course, there was the whole thing now that Ava was back, what would happen to them. The flat mates wanted them together, but to be quite honest, I just didn’t see how it could work. I don’t feel like you have to change so much for someone to love you or understand you and they should accept that you like different things and that’s okay. You can try those things, and if you still happen to not like them, that’s okay. It just felt so try hard that they were proving to each other that they could get along when really they should focus on getting to know each other—the core parts of what makes them who they are.
“We’ll have differences. And we’ll work mourned that . . . we’ll respect each other. I can’t love everything about your life. And . . . you know. That’s fine.”
“Agree.” Matt nods. “That’s fine.”
(pg. 394)
Well, I was glad they eventually realized that it was okay to like different things. I’m no relationship expert and my advice means absolutely nothing, but you don’t need to love everything about someone else’s life to love and respect the way they live. If you love a person, I think you’re love and respect extends to the way they love and life, but having differences is okay. It’s healthy, even. But faking or forcing to be exactly like each other to please one another in a relationship is not fine. It’s inauthentic. It’s rushed. They were going to take things slow this time, which was such a stark contrast to how they were already basically saying their vows after the retreat was over. But this experience changed them in good ways to find clarity and to go after what made them happy.
I don’t know if I think they will stay together forever because we never see them as a fully functioning couple, so I wonder how that dynamic will work. But if there’s anything Matt and Ava are, it’s not quitters—-for better or worst. They try.
The ending also seemed rushed and random because there absolutely did not need to be a morbid dog running over scene and random intruder in Ava’s house. I mean, where did that plot come from? Were we trying to prove that Ava’s house was unsafe 😅? And why did we have to hurt Henry? I just didn’t see how the ending moved the story along or related to anything. It just seemed thrown in there and I wasn’t a fan of it. I think we could have left that part out and the second time jump because it was not needed. Maybe we could have had a cute conversation with the flatmates after Ava and Matt decide to try again or maybe a time jump forward where they were making things work, but a random morbid dog scene was not it for me. Also, I don’t think the political campaign for Topher was serious because to be honest, as much as I love Topher, no one would vote for him 😂.
I liked Love Your Life because it was funny and it had an interesting dynamic, but there were parts or ideas that could have been better developed, left out, or explored more or less. I just wasn’t sure of the romance, and I was looking forward to a swoon-worthy romance. I also would have liked to know more about Matt. Matt as Dutch was interesting because he was carefree, but I wanted to know Matt. You know, Matt when he wasn’t arguing with Ava or stressed from his family or focused on work. We just never saw his personality or how we opened up. I wanted Matt to break down and cry and have a full trauma psychological talk about his hurt with Ava because I still think he’s holding things in that he should talk about. We could have explored Matt more with that. Or maybe we could have explored how Matt met Topher and Nihal and decided to room with them. I just wanted more. Again, not all of this is to be mean about the book or Sophie Kinsella because I enjoyed the book, just not for me. And that’s okay.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part?
What did you think of the book? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
What is your dealbreaker in a relationship ?
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
3.16 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: I liked Maud. What a fun person! I also loved the flat mates and Matt’s roommates. Ava and Matt were something else 😂
Plot: It was funny how hard Ava and Matt were trying to make things work but they just weren’t working out. I loved how they tried, but it’s also okay to say that sometimes things don’t work out and to not force anything. I don’t feel like they had an authentic relationship because it was rushed.
Writing: The funniest thing I read in a long time! Some random scenes that I didn’t feel moved the story along, but very interesting dynamics
Romance: I think Ava and Matt could be good friends, maybe not a relationship because it felt forced and rushed.