“The only thing Layla did wrong was fall in love with me.”
(pg. 171)
Author: Colleen Hoover
Genre: New Adult Thriller
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When Leeds meets Layla, he’s convinced he’ll spend the rest of his life with her―until an unexpected attack leaves Layla fighting for her life. After weeks in the hospital, Layla recovers physically, but the emotional and mental scarring has altered the woman Leeds fell in love with. In order to put their relationship back on track, Leeds whisks Layla away to the bed-and-breakfast where they first met. Once they arrive, Layla’s behavior takes a bizarre turn. And that’s just one of many inexplicable occurrences.
Feeling distant from Layla, Leeds soon finds solace in Willow―another guest of the B&B with whom he forms a connection through their shared concerns. As his curiosity for Willow grows, his decision to help her find answers puts him in direct conflict with Layla’s well-being. Leeds soon realizes he has to make a choice because he can’t help both of them. But if he makes the wrong choice, it could be detrimental for all of them
Spoilers Contained Below
To the unexplained,
I don’t know, but gosh was this book a cluster truck of what the freak—in a good way!!
There were many times I kept asking myself, “What?” or “Huh?” and “Who?” If I was Leeds, I would have run out of that darn house from the minute I walked in . . .
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
When we met Leeds and Layla, they had instant chemistry. I loved how carefree, bold, and spontaneous Layla was. I could feel like she was a person who was larger than life. I also loved how CoHo described her as someone with more than a one-track mind because of how she would talk about one thing and move to the next thing. Her morbid tidbit facts were interesting, scary, but interesting. I also liked her bluntness with Leeds in how she told him he looked like he was dying on the inside when he was playing bass for a band he didn’t even want to be a part of, but should be so he looked like he was earning money. I liked the fact that she danced terribly for him just to cheer up this random dude who looked miserable. It’s something I tend to do when I see people aren’t happy—not dancing terribly in front of them, but I find some way to make the person happy with a joke or something funny, you know. But I found it funny how quick Leeds was drawn to Layla. I don’t know if he liked her because she was bold and different or because he was bored, but they had a cute starting relationship. I have to say, Leeds is sort of an idiot 😂. No, excuse me, he is an idiot. You don’t take random pills someone gives you! IDIOT. He’s lucky it was just aspirin. I cracked up when he thought the pill was some high-induced drug because his heart was racing and his mind foggy. Nope, just aspire. Loser 🤪.
Leeds isn’t my favorite. Honestly, he had his good moments, his crazy moments, his WTF moments, and his you suck moments.
I don’t know. But I couldn’t say he wasn’t interesting.
He lived an interesting life. He had a personal stalker named Sable who had the only Leeds fan club there was. Isn’t it a golden rule or something that a person’s not supposed to date a fan? I mean, I think there’s nothing wrong with dating a fan, but a person should be careful. Leeds was kind of careful, but Sable had an unhealthy obsession with Leeds while also battling many mental health things she should have been seeking help with—-not to shame Sable or anything, but I think there was more to her story and I would have liked if she had mental health help because it felt like she was going through a lot and being in love with Leeds was her escape from what she was going through. I understand that. I use books to escape reality, and other things too. But sometimes we need to recognize when escaping isn’t healthy and we need to sit with our emotions to understand them. I felt like Sable needed help. Honestly, I’m curious about how Sable looked like because it was never described. I pictured a younger version of Mother Gothel. I also think it would have been interesting if we knew more about Sable’s life to understand why she was the way she was. I know the story wasn’t primarily about Sable and who she was, but if we were to have known more about Sable, I would have liked to. She seemed like an interesting person.
However, just because it felt like Sable grew up with many heartaches and traumas, it didn’t excuse her actions to go to Leeds apartment and shoot Layla and Leeds. THAT SCAred the book right out of my hands!!
One second, I was reading, the next second the book flew across the room like magic.
What do you mean she shot Layla?!
I could not!
Social media truly is scary sometimes and we have to be careful what we put out there. Truly.
After Layla was shot, things changed.
Layla was in the hospital for half a year—in and out of consciousness—and Leeds sat by her side the entire time. I must say the way Leeds was there for Layla during and after her recovery was sweet. I loved how he remembered to help her with her meds or the way he was there for her whenever she had panic attacks. The sweetest moment was when they were on the plane to Nebraska and he held her in the bathroom because she was having a panic attack. He held her because he knew his arms comforted her 🥺. I also liked how he bandaged up her wounds and how gentle, patient, and caring he was with her. I also thought he was being nice by letting her run his social media because it gave Layla something to focus on. But how DUMB was it that she said let’s post a picture of us on the plane like posting a social media picture didn’t work out well for them last time 🙈. IDIOTS.
As much as Leeds was tender and sweet to Layla there was something fragile, careful, and broken with the way he treated her.
After the accident, Layla was obviously different. Something as horrible as what happened to her would change a person, so it wasn’t strange how much Layla had changed. She was more on guard, apprehensive, overwhelmed, anxious, forgetful. I also felt like she was going through PTSD too, which was understandable given what happened. My gosh, I just wanted to hug her because who she was was such a stark contrast to the bold, brazen, spontaneous person we knew.
Because she was different, Leeds didn’t really love her anymore.
I could tell.
It was in the way he thought about her, his lack of passion and love, the lackluster look he would give her, and his hesitation around her. He treated her like she was fragile, which I get because he didn’t want to hurt her after her recovery and he thought he needed to be gentle with her. That’s okay. But besides the gentle way he was with her, it also felt like he was staying with her out of guilt and obligation rather than love. He was guilty because Sable shot Layla and Sable was his fan and Layla wouldn’t have changed if it wasn’t for Sable, if it wasn’t for him. So it felt like he stayed in this relationship with Layla because he would be a shizzy person if he broke up with her after all she’d been through and all he caused. Honestly, that’s such a complicated position to be in because I feel like if someone falls out of love with someone, they shouldn’t be in a relationship with that other person if it’s not making either of them happy. And even if it doesn’t make one of them happy, I think the other person should know because maybe they need to communicate and work through what they were going through because how is the other person supposed to know how the other person feels if they don’t talk about it. And naturally, both people might have changed from the situation, so maybe they both feel different. I think communication is key.
I could understand why Leeds felt depressed. The woman he loved got in an accident because of someone connected to him (not trying to blame Leeds here), he was no longer in love with said woman, and now he was stuck in some creepy house with said woman who was supposedly losing her mind. I get that. He was sad. I think he was also sad because he wanted things to work with Layla, he wanted to love her. But he didn’t anymore and he couldn’t bring himself to break up with her.
Then came the haunted house. When the water started running and there was a spooky fire, that’s when I would have left. He should have left after his laptop nearly snapped his fingers in half, but I get it, this was the most interesting thing to have happened to him in a while and he rode the high of what was going on. Because Leeds was also depressed, the spookiness of the house brought back exciting emotions because duh. I bet there’s some sort of forum on Reddit about what Leeds was searching for online. That’s a whole other level of stalker-creepy. Speaking of stalkers, obviously my initial thought of who was messing with Layla and Leeds was Sable because she would know where they were based on Layla’s social media posts. And two, she would have an axe to continue to grind with both of them. It wasn’t said she passed away after she shot Layla and Leeds, so it could have been possible.
But when Leeds communicated with the spirit in the house by using the piano . . . CHilLS. I would have skeet skeet and skirt skirt out of the house after that if I were him. Like truly, I would have left if that was the final straw. The spirit had a name—-Willow. Sounded like some messed up spooky Taylor Swift vibes 😂. I’m joking, I loved Taylor Swift, it’s just the name Willow makes me think of Folklore. I hope my Swifties can relate 👌🏼. Anyway, when we learned who Willow was, my immediate thought was that this spirit was Sable because of how later in the book Leeds alluded to being forced to take another person’s life. To me that meant he did something to Sable because she did something to Layla. So if he did something to Sable and Sable was no longer alive, my mind grasped onto the fact that Willow could just be Sable trying to mess with him in the realm she was in. Realms were a whole other point of conversation in the beginning of the book. Layla said she believed in different realms where people don’t remember who they were in that realm. She believed the womb was a realm; life was a realm; and after this life, there was another realm—multiple realms of existence. I thought that was an interesting concept. Leeds felt like Willow was another realm because she was in this Bed and Breakfast house.
The thing that tripped my mind was how Willow basically took over Layla’s body because she was hungry 😂.
I’m sorry?! You’re telling me that sis wanted to mess with Layla so she could eat tacos, popcorn, and grilled cheese. I guess, a spirit has to eat, but gosh darn!
I was LAUGHING.
That’s sooo weird.
Then I couldn’t stop laughing at how Willow just said I want to eat and chill. She literally just watched movies in Layla’s body. Not that that doesn’t sound like a good plan or a good deal, but I felt terrible for Layla because she was constantly tired because her body was up all night and how Layla was always confused about if she ate or where she was. I felt genuinely awful for Layla because her body was apparently gaining weight because Willow was eating, but Layla didn’t even remember eating, so she was confused as to why she gained weight. I would feel confused. As someone who lived with an ED, I could see the signs in Layla with how she cutback food or she didn’t eat as much because she was scared to gain the weight back because all she felt was that she was a weight. It’s hard 😕. I understand.
What I didn’t understand was how quick Leeds was to let Willow use Layla’s body.
If he really loved Layla, he wouldn’t have been adamant and eager that he talk to Layla again, yet alone ask Willow to take over Layla’s body so he could see her.
Oh, GOSH don’t even get me STARTED on how he was basically a puppy dog that finally had a human at home whenever Willow was around. My gosh, just the eagerness he would get to want to speak to Willow was bothersome. The fact that he also started to say that he would much rather see or spend time with Willow had me LIVID. BRO, you are TRASH 🤮!!! How dare he use Layla’s body for his selfish benefit of talking it up with a spirit!
If the dude really wanted to break up with Layla, he couldn’t just break up with her like a real loser!!!! BUT NOOOOOO he had to tell a spirit to take over her body just because he was bored?
The dude was obviously too bored and lonely because he was desperately in love with a spirit rather than his long-time girlfriend. I started to think about how quick he would be to date a real life person. I mean, he really couldn’t have been a regular piece of trash and just dump Layla rather than have someone possess her? Something other than using her body to talk to a spirit he loved 🙃.
What Garbage.
And when he played a song for Willow? *Shakes head*
That was an intimate act and he knew it. And the audacity to call the song vacancy? Yup, we get it you’re not in love with her 😂. BREAK UP WITH HER THEN and stop using her body for your sick twisted enjoyment! I will say, I did love the song 😅. Honestly, authors who are low-key song writers or who can spit bars (I’m talking about Angie Thomas, if you know, you know) are superior! But gosh I could tell he was falling in love with Willow. It kind of wasn’t that hard for him not to because Willow took over Layla’s body the majority of the time. Also, after the whole move and pool date, I began to think Leeds only liked Willow because Willow had old Layla’s personality, but she was in Layla’s body. Leeds fell in love with the old Layla, and I guess he loved her personality more because he was so quick to drop Layla to fall for someone who reminded him of the woman he fell in love with. I’m going to come back to this idea because I wasn’t too far off with my theories. But yea, it just felt like Leeds missed who Layla used to be and it drove him mad because he didn’t love who Layla was.
“‘Sometimes I wonder if I would have met her today . . . how she is now . . . would I have fallen in love with her as easily as I fell in love with her in the beginning?'”
(pg. 189)
When Leeds had said to Willow how he had fallen out of love with Layla, I was like, “Ooppp! There it is.” YIKES. I told you he felt obligation and guilt. I don’t want to shame Leeds for his emotions because I’m not trying to. I get it. Sometimes people change and fall out of love and that’s natural. It’s sort of like friendship breakups and how two people grow apart as they figure out who they are or as they grow up. So, his feelings were natural. What I didn’t appreciate was the cheating, lying, desperate measures, and possession that was going on. That wasn’t fair to Layla—it wasn’t right.
Can I just say Leeds sounded like a legit donkey-face the majority of the book; he was a legit a** to Layla.
I kid you knot, I cringed for both of them whenever she wanted to get it on and he wasn’t feeling it, so he tried to not get it on with her. It was the whole pool day scene where she wanted to sleep with him and he kind of pushed her away or delayed the inevitable. Also, when she kissed him and he didn’t react to that . . . that was a HARD YIKES (see what I did there 😂). Gosh. OOOOOOH and don’t even get me started me she gave him a job and he had the AUDACITY to think of WILLOW doing that to him instead of her 😨. I don’t even know what to say to that. What a loser. Oh, and the time they ddi get it on and he called it a chore. EXCUSE ME??????
“How can sex with Layla earlier feel like a chore, but just looking at Willow feels like a reward.”
(pg. 207)
I’m so sorry making love to your future wife was a chore. What a LOSER. If there’s anything men have, it’s the freaking audacity. I could not. I really didn’t know how to feel about Leeds.
I also couldn’t freaking believe that he TRIED TO DRUG HER 😡! That was a hard no for me. Absolutely not. What a pathetic, desperate, scum of the earth. I couldn’t believe he actually was so desperate to speak to Willow that he was going to give Layla her sleeping pill, crushed up in a drink when she was already drunk off her mind and had barely anything in her stomach. NO. Just no. You don’t crush a pill unless a doctor says you can because sometimes crushing a pill can alter what’s inside or the effects can be different. Leeds also knew how drunk she was and yet he was going to go through with it. Honestly good for him when Willow knocked that glass out of his stupid little hand 👏🏼!!!!
PATHETIC 😠.
Good for him that he felt guilty afterwards and was ashamed to look at Willow because of what he was going to do. He should feel terrible.
After the stunt he tried to pull with Layla, I didn’t see Willow as a bad person because she knew better than to drug Layla’s body—heck she didn’t even want to use Layla’s body most of the time. It was Willow’s guilt that made me believe she had good morals. I also respected that she gave Leeds and Layla privacy when she wasn’t in Layla’s body. I didn’t see Willow as the bad guy, more so Leeds because he kept hurting this person he loved. He also kept making her feel like she was going insane in the membrane. That’s truly messed up.
But you know what was even more screwed up? When he proposed to her just so he could use Layla’s body to see Willow—to keep her there.
Who does that?
This was after that intimate night where Leeds kissed Willow in bed and they were both mourning how they couldn’t be more because Willow couldn’t be Layla forever even if Leeds had feelings for Willow. I wondered though, why did Willow take over Layla’s body? Why her and not Leeds? What was the extent of her powers?
I digress.
But Layla had found Leeds engagement ring box, the box he bought when Layla was still in the hospital. Naturally, she thought Leeds was going to propose, which DUH. Also, I’m surprised that Layla didn’t find his computer or phone chats with some random person named Willow. She should have. But back to the ring. Layla then found out how Leeds was going to buy the Bed and Breakfast without talking to her. He really should have talked to her about a place where they both are going to live because it was a decision that affected both of them. But Leeds bought the Bed and Breakfast because he had an agenda to visit Willow when he could and run the place like it used to. That way Willow wouldn’t be lonely and he could see her whenever he wanted. That felt wrong to me. I understood his savior complex to be with Willow and to help Willow understand her past—-who she was in another realm and her life before. He was really trying to help her as an excuse so it looked like he didn’t like her when he did. He wasn’t selling me on his whole act of helping Willow out. He was helping himself. Truly though, why go through all the trouble of buying this place to be with someone who takes over his fiancée’s body when he could just go to a strip mall of something and find him someone else to be with 🤪? Not that I condone cheating in any way, but gosh he really took things to a whole new level with Willow. Cheating feels less like a betrayal at this point. Again, I don’t condone cheating nor do I like cheaters, but in terms of this story, gosh, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, what are we going to do with you?
I didn’t like how he manipulated her into marrying him for his own benefit. I also didn’t like how he gaslit her to believe that she ruined his surprise proposal. Bro, there was nothing surprising about that proposal except that he actually went through with it. The audacity he had to be mad at Layla afterwards was beyond me. This was a him problem.
“It’s the worst catch-22 imaginable. I can’t break up with the girl I’m falling out of love with, or I won’t get to spend time with the girl I am falling in love with.”
(pg. 208)
I don’t even know what to say to that.
After the proposal, Leeds had this conversation with Willow where he shared the Sable story. Leeds put together that Willow could have been Sable, which I already called it. What I didn’t see coming was why or even how he felt so compelled to help Sable after all this time even when she did them dirty.
“I feel the pull to help Willow in my gut, my bones, my heart. If I walk away, those feelings will stay here, in this house, white this ghost, and I’ll leave feeling just as empty as I felt when I arrived.”
(pg. 220)
He was really on that savior complex. He was looking for closure, I guess.
I was looking for him to close that car down and drive the heck away.
You know, I don’t blame Layla for feeling maniac, worried, frightened, or angry at Leeds. I would have felt all that and more. Sis really could wield that knife at Leeds because he was keeping her captive just to get some answers about who Willow truly was—-and if Willow was Sable, but a nicer version because Sable didn’t remember her memories or something. But all the interview scenes finally made sense as to why Leeds thought himself a monster and why Layla was screaming as she was tied to the bed. Layla wanted to leave the Bed and Breakfast, but Leeds and Willow needed her to stay so Willow could use her body to get answers. He was continuing to use Layla against her will (joke, not intended but I’ll go with it 😉). That’s honestly messed up. My initial thought was if Layla truly did not break up with Leeds after he kept her captive and did all this to her, that’s true love 😂.
This whole book was MESSED UP—not in a bad way, an interesting way! It was purely compelling.
Leeds goes to this random creepy dude—be careful of the internet, especially the forums—-dude called Uncover Inc. Uncover Inc knew Leeds name and where he was without Leeds telling him anything. Apparently Uncover Inc. was just like Willow and took over the body of some dude named Randall. The story wasn’t about Uncover Inc Dude, but I couldn’t help but wonder what his story was and how he knew so much about Leeds and their situation. I also wondered what happened to him to make him know the things he told Leeds and Willow. There was a story to that Uncover Inc Dude 🤔.
“Logical? He thinks telling me that Layla isn’t really Layla is a logical explanation?”
(pg. 246)
Yea, I was a cluster cluck of confusion. Sort of mind blown, sort of what the literal heck do you mean? Gosh.
So Layla actually had Sable’s soul in her body and Willow was Layla’s real soul.
Apparently, Uncover Inc Dude’s theory was that when Sable shot Layla, Layla’s soul left her body for a moment (before the paramedics came). Then when Leeds shot Sable, her soul left her body. So both their souls were out in the ether and apparently Sable’s soul fought to be in Layla’s body because Sable wanted to be Layla so badly that Sable’s soul took over Layla’s body and left Layla’s soul untethered. Layla’s soul found itself at the Bed and Breakfast because it was a significant place to Layla. The reason Layla-Sable couldn’t remember anything with Leeds wasn’t because of the trauma, but because Layla-Sable didn’t have the intimate memories that Leeds and Layla actually shared. Uncover Inc. Dude asked Willow-Layla to take over Leeds body to interview Willow. When interviewing Willow as Leeds, the Uncover Inc. Dude asked her three simple questions to which Willow answered one of the questions in first person, like she was Layla. That was how he was able to deduce that Willow was Layla’s soul because Layla had all these memories with Leeds that Layla-Sable didn’t have. Layla-Sable was also confused because her soul didn’t understand or know what body she was in. Layla having Sable’s soul also explained Layla’s notable differences like being concerned with her weight, her anxieties, or her interest in Leeds social media. It all made sense, but it was a confusing kind of sense 😆.
“‘It is you. This whole time I’ve been falling back in love with you. The same girl I fell in love with the moment I saw you dancing like an idiot on the grass in the backyard.'”
(pg. 252)
That was trippy.
I wondered though, like didn’t Sable have family or something? How come no one seemed to save or care for her? Right?
Also, how did Sable’s soul just fight her way into Layla’s body? I’m imagining two soul-like things punching it out 😂. Wouldn’t Layla’s soul win if Layla was stronger than Sable? I don’t even know what I’m talking about at this point.
Here’s the thing, is Leeds falling back in love with Willow-Layla okay? Yea, I think.
Did he really cheat? No, I think.
Was the way he didn’t love Layla-Sable okay? Yea, I guess.
Was the way he treated Layla-Sable okay? No, I don’t think so.
So the question is was it wrong that Leeds treated Layla-Sable like shiz because Willow was actually the love of his life? Did that still make him a monster? I really don’t know.
I don’t know how to feel about that cluster cluck of a thought 🤯.
Yea, I don’t know. Because the way he treated Layla was disgusting and vile and wrong, but it wasn’t even Layla, but still he shouldn’t have treated her like that even if it wasn’t really Layla. And was their mistreatment of Layla’s body when Layla was Willow wrong? But it’s Layla’s body so it couldn’t be wrong, right?
I don’t know.
All I know was I felt like Uncover Inc. Dude who said not my problem, good luck to you and left 😂. He’s a real one.
Because now came the big problem of what they were going to do now?
But Layla couldn’t just keep inhabiting her body when it was making Layla-Sable tired. It wasn’t going to work, so I wasn’t sure what they were going to do. When Layla suggested they harm Layla-Sable, I literally was like, “What am I reading?” 🤪 Literally. What is going on?!?!?!?!?
Everything after the big reveal seemed gosh darn morbid.
Layla the Soul was planning how to get Layla with Sable soul out of her, so that meant planning her body’s demise. Gosh, and to make matters worse was when Aspen, the sister, and the husband came to stay with them. Layla-Sable had a moment when she said that Leeds drugged and tied her up. If I was Aspen, I would have been like, “What the bonkers?” I would have been highly concerned. No one should ever joke about that. I wouldn’t trust Leeds after that either, and I gosh darn don’t know if Aspen would ever believe him again because it was obvious something was wrong with Layla-Sable and how tired and hurt she looked. But it wasn’t her her. You know. I thought the whole situation was messed up.
Don’t even get me started on the whole drown her in the pool plan.
Excuse me?! What!?
How did we get from terrible dancing to drowning 🥴.
What?
What?
What?
I don’t even have the words to describe what Leeds did. I mean, was it right? I really don’t think so.
Absolutely not.
I just don’t know how to feel about Leeds or his situation.
First he almost drugged Layla, then he fell in love with a soul, kissed said soul, let said soul possess his fiancées body who wasn’t even the right soul, then he tied up said fake body with wrong soul, and then the drowned her. WHaT???????????
I don’t know. *looks around the room for the answer*
I don’t even know how the heck Layla was going to find her way back into her body. She was going to let her soul fight for her body 😂. Layla the Soul said, “Let’s throw down, beach!” She said, “I’m coming for you and I’m going to fight for my mans.”
I don’t even have the words to describe what I felt like Aspen might have seen. I mean, Leeds had the scratch marks and everything that obviously said he drowned Layla-Sable. That coupled with the tie marks? He wasn’t looking too good in my eyes. I would be insanely worried as the sister. I would have taken my sister out of the hospital and RUN 😂!! This man was not it.
But when Leeds walked into that hospital room, I held my breath because things could have gone wrong and Layla might not have been able to return to her body. But when Layla was like, “Do you know what you look like right now?” And she replied, “You look like you’re dying inside,” I was like, I love a full circle moment. Cute. Morbid, but cute. They did it like Dora. We did it.
YIKES.
Did what?!!
I know what they did, but gosh dam.
I don’t know how to feel about their relationship. I don’t know if I like it. I just don’t like that Leeds was a terrible boyfriend to Layla-Sable or that he was an awful person in general to Layla-Sable. I mean, couldn’t he have been kinder to Sable or tried to get her professional help. Couldn’t he have saved Sable instead of letting her pass away the day of the incident. I also don’t know if Layla (with Layla’s soul) and Leeds got married. I know they moved away to a secluded place and reconnected their love and life. I mean, good for them, I guess. They sure as heck couldn’t tell anyone about their messed up relationship because gosh knows all sorts of screwed up things happened for them to be where they were today. Frankly, I don’t know what they will tell their children 🤪. Mommy was possessed by a soul but she fought back when we drowned the soul.
YIIIIIIIIKKKKKKESS.
Was this the most romantic love story I ever read? Not really 🙈.
Was this a captivating story? Absolutely .
Was I conflicted? Gosh darn, yes I was.
Do I like Leeds and Layla together? I’m not too sure.
But the real question is: did I enjoy the book? For the most part, yes. The other part of me just questioned Leeds and the absolute morbidity of the story, but yes. I love Colleen Hoover, so yes.
Her stories always get me.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? How did you feel about Leeds or the ending?
What is your favorite scary movie?
Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
4.12 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: This book is about Layla, that’s for sure 🤪
Plot: A cluster truck of mind-boggling What The Heck—-in a good way
Writing: Colleen Hoover’s still the queen
Romance: Yea, you could say that 🙈