I’ll Be The One By Lyla Lee Book Review
“I’m fat. People think it means I should hate myself, and when I don’t, it makes them uncomfortable. But this is just another part of who I am, and I’m happy with who I am.”
Henry smiles, like he finally understands where I’m getting at.
“You’re living you’re best life,” he says. “They’re not.”
“Exactly.”
(pg. 323)
About
Author: Lyla Lee
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
Click to read other book reviews
Synopsis
The world of K-Pop has never met a star like this. Debut author Lyla Lee delivers a deliciously fun, thoughtful rom-com celebrating confidence and body positivity—perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Julie Murphy.
Skye Shin has heard it all. Fat girls shouldn’t dance. Wear bright colors. Shouldn’t call attention to themselves. But Skye dreams of joining the glittering world of K-Pop, and to do that, she’s about to break all the rules that society, the media, and even her own mother, have set for girls like her.
She’ll challenge thousands of other performers in an internationally televised competition looking for the next K-pop star, and she’ll do it better than anyone else.
When Skye nails her audition, she’s immediately swept into a whirlwind of countless practices, shocking performances, and the drama that comes with reality TV. What she doesn’t count on are the highly fat-phobic beauty standards of the Korean pop entertainment industry, her sudden media fame and scrutiny, or the sparks that soon fly with her fellow competitor, Henry Cho.
But Skye has her sights on becoming the world’s first plus-sized K-pop star, and that means winning the competition—without losing herself.
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To any-body who need to read this,
From page one in my book notes, I literally wrote, “Wow, I already don’t like the mom.” 😂
And I have probably never disliked a character so much in an instant 🙈.
First, let me give some background before I POP off about the mom 😆. I am Asian American. I am full Filipino. I grew up with an Asian family, meaning I completely understand the hurt Skye felt because (not to generalize), but Asian families tend to have this idealized body image. You are supposed to be skinny because skinny, as in most cultures, is seen as beautiful—-marriage-worthy. I do not know too much about the Korean culture, but I know they value clear and clean skin. So for Skye to be curvier, it really offset the mom because of the ideal body image of, particularly, Asian women.
So I understood why the mom would tell Skye to be thinner, why the mom would give Skye the “looks,” or why she would tell Skye all these harsh things. But still . . . fat girls can’t dance? I’m sorry, I don’t understand the logic of how if you weigh more, you can’t dance? ☹️ It wasn’t okay. And I felt Skye’s pain. I was a ballet and jazz dancer when I was little too, and I remember sooo distinctly how one dance teacher made us take off our shirts and we would do a class in only a sports bra and our jazz tights and shorts, but as a thirteen year old—-the prime time of insecurity, of gaining a bit more weight because you’re filling out, you start to grow some boobs—-I was INSECURE. I was older than all the other kids in my dance class, so whoopee for me—I went through puberty first 😆 👍🏼. So all these other kids were skinny and had no chest yet. And then you had me. Already the outsider, and now I looked like the grand potato in this room filled with celery sticks, and I felt disgusting because I felt bigger. I wish I had Skye’s confidence back then, but I didn’t. And my insecurities of being bigger and not being the best dancer made me quit. But Skye wanted to prove everyone wrong in who she was and what she could do.
I LOVED Skye with a raging passion. Honestly, if I disliked her mom in an instant, I loved Skye in a blink 💛.
But being told you can’t do something because of your weight is cowardly, insensitive response to someone else. Just because you are uncomfortable with how someone looks because society has ingrained in you that beautiful people are skinny, it doe snot mean you get to parade your mouth around to shame anyone and everyone who is bigger or smaller than you. It is not right. And fat shaming disgusts me, and I’m going to RAGE on that more later after I rage about the mom.
But I just want to say if you have ever felt insecure in your body, I just want you to know, you can do anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re petite, if you’re middle-sized, or currier. You can absolutely FREAKING do anything because your weight is not your value and your weight is not your worth. Your weight is just a number on a scale and it does not define who you are or what you can do. You can dance. You can sing. You can run. You can do all these things. Don’t let other people, and don’t let yourself fool you otherwise.
And I know soooo many beautiful, strong, intelligent, talented women and men who are curvier and they work out their whole lives to lose weight to make other people happy. Or they work out all the time to make themselves happy—which right one!—-but yet they are still the way they look. And I absolutely DETEST people who think people who are fat or curvier or skinny—because fat shaming and thin-shaming are a thing—–because they are either 1) lazy 2) they don’t move 3) they eat too much or on the other side (thin-shaming) 1) it’s their metabolism 2) it’s their genes 3) their just lucky. Because no matter what comment anyone makes about anybody’s body, it’s uncomfortable and it’s rude.
And I’m just going to preach it the choir and the university what Taryne Reneé, one of my favorite podcaster/mama-bears always says on Unsolicited Advice (GO LISTEN anywhere you listen to podcasts):
Not your body, not your business.
Because it’s not! If it’s not your body, you don’t need to make an unnecessary comment about it because you feel “so inclined to say something.” I don’t think so 🤪. Check yourself before you say something related to someone’s body because if it has absolutely nothing to do with you, than don’t. And the only exception to this quote, is if you are a Dr. and have that M.D. 😆. If you don’t, just don’t. Thank you.
And here’s the thing, I want to go LIVID at the mom’s behavior and attitude towards Skye because as much as I had a hunch from the get-go why the mom acted and reacted the way she did, it did not excuse how she treated her daughter. It absolutely did not.
My hunch was that the mom’s harshness and hardness on Skye came from a place of hurt.
“And what she went through in the past doesn’t give her an excuse for how she treats me now.”
(pg 76)
I have a whole blog post called Hurt People Hurt People and I’ll link it below, but essentially, people hurt others because they have felt hurt by others. And they want them to feel that same pain, or in this case, the mom didn’t want Skye to feel the same pain she felt, but the way she translated that sentiment to Skye, ended up doing the very thing that hurt her; she thought by telling Skye to be skinny or to lose weight would protect her or save her the hurt, but they actually hurt the person. And I think many times people do things to not hurt us, and it becomes the very thing that hurts us. So be careful with how you treat others from a place of hurt or tough love. Because the mom had both and it didn’t showcase well to Skye.
And it was true
Skye’s mom hurt Sky from a place of hurt. And it made sense, and I feel for the mom, but again it wasn’t right that she treated Skye the way she did out of some shame, embarrassment, or humiliation she felt when she was younger.
I appreciated the moment when the Mom’s worker friend, Sally, showed Skye the picture of her mom because, sure, it wasn’t Melinda’s place to show Skye those pictures if her mom didn’t want her to know, but I think after all the poop Skye’s mom gave to her, Sky deserved to understand where it came from. And it was pictures of the mom fatter when she was younger. Her mom smiled more, and that kind of hurt because the mom was happy the way she was, but she grew bitter and hurt of herself—-she started to hat herself—-and so her happiness went away because of what everyone made her feel.
“‘Everyone’ could be our neighbors, our relatives, or even may friends. Regardless of who she’s talking about, she’s always scared about what other people might think of me, like everyone is scrutinizing my every move. Our every move.
(pg 74)
Everyone else against her and her mom. And it’s no wonder the mom’s still carrying that hurt with her to this day and why the opinions of others matter so much to her. That’s all she’s ever known, and she was embarrassed by herself and embarrassed by Skye.
The mom was also an aesthetician, which, first of all, sounds classy, but it made even more sense why the mom cared about looks—her job was literally related to beauty and she was embarrassed of Skye because she didn’t think her beautiful because of her weight.
“If some people can’t see past what I look like to see how good I am, it’s on them.”
(pg 42)
YES, MA’AM! 👏🏼
Absolutely, if people can’t see past how you look, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs. And if someone wants to fat shame you, that says more about them than it does about you.
And the mom’s actions made me think about why is it always the mother or the women in a culture that belittles others for weight? Like I have Aunties and Grandmas who when the first thing they tell me when they see me at any reunion or get together, is “Oh, how big you’ve gotten.” And yes, they might mean big like in tall or big as in fat, either way, its’ something for me to interpret. Or they say, “Oh, you put on weight,” or “my favorite 🙄 “Ay, nakung, you lose weight. Must eat more,” and they shove food in my face. And gosh do I have something to say about this. Because many of my relatives always made me feel big, they made me feel fat. They made me feel fat in comparison to my sisters or other people. And that caused me to go through one of the most painful, but transformative experiences in my life. I had an eating disorder for about two years and I had to learn to recover and find a better relationship with food. I’m writing a whole series of blog posts of this soon, but it’s been hard for me to find the words to talk about it sometimes. But I want to. But as for this blog post, I went through a low. And when I was at my skinniest and I saw my relatives again, I remember vividly how I thought to myself, “I wonder what they’ll say about my weight? Will they notice? Will I be good enough?” And I tell you, thinking about it now, it was such negative, toxic thoughts that I clung to the approval of others so much. And you know what happened?
I saw my relatives and the women all told me how skinny I’ve gotten and how I looked like I was sick. I was sick. I was fat. I was not good enough for them then and I wasn’t good enough for them now. But I remember that taught me something: You can’t please anyone. You cant’t make anyone happy if they do not love you airedy for who you are. And so I realized, I could only please myself. I had to be happy for me because for fat or for thin, I wasn’t good enough and would never be for anyone, so I wanted to be good enough for myself. And that’s not a lesson I wanted to learn the hard way, but I did.
And so as someone who knows what it’s like to starve herself and obsessively exercise to be what people wanted of me, please don’t.
It’s not worth it for people who do not love you for you. Please eat, please move your body if you are able, but please, please, don’t let other people run your life. Please.
And Skye went through something similar with her mom when she told her mom she got into Shining Star and the mom wasn’t super supportive of it in the first place, and I felt bad that Skye felt the need to hide/lie to her mom about it because she knew what the mom would say. That sucks when you have a passion or dream that no one would believe in, so you just go after it for you, but you don’t have people you feel like you can share it with. But she told the mom, and I was like, yup that’s an Asian mom alright—- happy one second and uptight the next 😂. I mean, just be happy for your daughter gosh darn it! She got in for both singing and dancing. UGH, dancing was like the curse word in the mom’s eyes. After telling the mom, the mom was like:
“I just think you should care more about how you look. Do you really not care that people might make a laughing stock out of you?”
(pg 42)
I’m sorry, what GARBAGE! Who tells someone that you should care what other people think you look like? That’s such a toxic thought.
OOOOH, and don’t get me started on this comment:
“Does it really not bother you that everyone will see you dance with your arm flab shaking all over the place and your belly jiggling like Santa Claus? The least you could—“
(pg 41)
😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬
Honestly, I don’t even know what to say to that . . . I just . . . I don’t. Like what kind of mother—-let alone a person—tells you to be bothered about your arm flab and that you will shake like Santa Claus? I just don’t know. I mean, we all got arm flab, we all got flab. If it’s shaking, it’s money making 😂. Screw the mom’s opinion 😂.
I could not!
Or how classic 👌🏼 it was of her to go from fat-shaming Skye and telling her to basically go starve herself and then telling her to go eat.
“One moment, they’re telling you that you need to lose weight, and the next, they’re shaming you for not eating.”
(pg 44)
Been there, felt that.
Let’s take a drink, my Asians 😂. I just never thought or known of people sharing food or telling you to eat as a way of showing care for people. But just because you cook or tell someone to eat, doesn’t make up for shaming someone for the way they look. And It was just a completey double standard where she told Skye to lose weight, then to eat and not skip meals. I mean, what do you want from her?
I swear, you can’t please everyone.
There was a low point in the book where Skye was questioning starving herself and I felt her go into this spiral. Because she wanted to give up.
” . . . I think about the years I spent hating myself and my body. Entire days and even weeks went by when I barely ate anything, until lI didn’t even feel hungry anymore. I did lose a few pounds, but it was only a few compared to the crushing amounts of emotional pain I felt. No matter how much I worked out and no matter how little I ate, it was never enough. Do I really want to go back to living like that?”
(pg 226)
Been there, sadly, lived that 🥺. This just resonated with me so much to my heart bones. Skye was stronger than those spiraling thoughts—stronger than I could ever be.
But it’s always the women of the family who somehow feel like its their job to tell people about their weight, but it’s not. And it made me think how no guy you see is literally going to make a comment about a persons weight (not to a girl, I think). How messed up is it that we live in a society that pins women against each other based on weight? I just don’t get it. Women already have it so hard in this patriarchal world, we should be bringing women together, not a part.
I also do not like the standard of how women’s worth is judged by her clothing or what a person should wear. Because as someone who lived with an eating disorder, I can tell, this is something else I had to grapple with. Before my spiral of negative eating habits, when I felt gross in my body, I hated myself, all these terrible things, I felt at the same time that I could not wear certain clothes because I wasn’t good enough—-skinny enough—-to wear them. So what did I wear? I wore baggy gray sweatshirts. Loose shirts with owls on them. Owls aren’t even my favorite animals, but I wore them. I wore a black cardigan with everything because I heard it made people look skinny. I never thought I could wear a crop top, colorful clothes, yet alone, fitted clothes until I lost weight. And I can tell, the clothes don’t wear you, you wear the clothes.
You do not need to be.a certain size or have a certain size to wear certain clothes because if an outfit makes you feel like the banging hot Lizzo Beyoncé J-Lo Kim K Araina Grande queen you are, than you wear it!
And don’t make other people feel like what you wear is wrong for your size.
“It’s not my fault people like my mom think that fat people wearing tight or revealing clothing is “inappropriate.”
(pg 41)
A fat person wearing tight or revealing clothing is not inappropriate and it’s not wrong. Because I garunteee you is a thinner person wore tight or reveling clothing people woudln’t even bat an eye. So why this difference?
And what also gets me is when people look at someone who is fat and they’re like, “Oh, they shouldn’t be wearing that.” I have had relatives who have seen curvier girls in bikinis and said this, and I wanted to throw down! 🤪 I mean, how dare you just fat-shame someone like that. Why can’t they were a bikini if that makes them happy or they feel confident in it? Do you not feel confident in a bikini? Like let people live! Let them wear what they want and if you have a problem with someone else’s happiness, take a good long hard look in the mirror because that’s not healthy. So I didn’t like when the mom made Skye feel gross for wearing the leotard ensemble she wore to the audition. Or when Skye wanted to wear a new dress for the dancing portion she was doing in the competition, but she didn’t want to go through the trouble of asking her mom for a new dress because of how Skye knew the mom was going to make all these derogatory comments about her body. And that freaking sucks gum balls! She literally wanted a dress to feel beautiful and do her best in this completion, and she didn’t even feel comfortable anymore to go to her mom and ask for a dress because she knew what the mom was going to say. I know the feeling too. Because it’s better to avoid a confrontation we tire of hearing and don’t want to hear anymore. **Shakes head.** Honestly, I hope the mom knows how much she’s hurting her relationship with her daughter and how sometimes it leads to giving up and anger and resentment. She can’t change how the mom sees her, but that truly sucks 😕.
Another thing to add to my never-ending list of why the mom sucks 🤪 was when Skye was going to go to the spa with Henry and Skye was so skeptical because she also had negative experiences with her mom at the spa. Gosh, it freaking sucks when a person ruins a happy, or what should be a happy situation, with negative commentary. Because when the mom used to go to the spa’s with Skye, the mom would point out slim girls and how “beautiful” they were. Oh, cry me a river Skye’s mom 🙄. If there’s soooo freaking beautiful why don’t you marry them? ☹️ It just aches my body when people compare people and hold one person to a standard like that. *SHAKES HEAD HARDER***
But when Skye did go to the spa, which I’ll get into more later, she had this nice conversation with Lana, a nice heart-to-heart that I loved 💛.
“Although Mom’s and my relationship for sure isn’t smooth, I never thought of it as abusive. There are so many forms of Asian-parent tough love, where parents say and do mean things only because they want the best for us. Is all of that “tough love” abusive? What distinguishes tough-love parenting from abuse? . . . . Even though she is mostly afraid that people might think she’s a bad parent, isn’t the fact that she’s worried about me a good thing?”
(pg 242)
There are soooo many things right about this statement and sooooo wrong. Let’s go with the wrong first because why not? The mom being worried about Skye embarrassing herself is tough-love. It does come from a place of love, but that’s not the right kind of love you want a person to feel at the end of the day.
Yes, do your tough love. Say no to your child sometimes, ground them as you need to, but don’t be so tough that you forget to even show love in the first place.
And that’s the difference. The mom didn’t show love to Skye even in her tough love and that’s why Skye didn’t feel loved by her mom and felt like she had to prove herself in some ways. But I do think there is a point where tough love does become verbally abusive. Abuse isn’t just physcial, it’s mental. Reading the quote above, I realized I also dealt with a lot of mental abuse from my relatives out of tough love. Definitely not as abusive as Skye’s mom, but I did feel that. If it hurts a persons’s feelings and damages how they view themself, I think it is abusive. Words have power.
The mom was being abusive to Skye and she made Skye feel so manipulated that Skye doesn’t even know what real love from her mom is because she thinks that her mom acting out of her hurt is her mom loving her. That’s not love. It’s not a good thing 😕.
Don’t get me STARTED about how the mom was so passive aggressive in being unsupportive of Skye. I’m sorry, your daughter basically got into the America’s-Got-Talent-American-Idol-So-You-THink-You-Can-Dance version of television, and you have the AUDACITY to make her feel like she’s wrong for getting in just because you have this ingrained belief that fat girls can’t dance. THAT’S RIDOCULOUS! And yes, RIDOCULOUS!
If my child got on any tv show, I would be in the audience with my foam finger, my confetti popper, and my bullhorn. The front row! 🤪 I didn’t understand. And the whole comment of the mom not watching with Skye was “nothing person.” Yea, FREAKING, right 🙄.
But nooooooooo. Her daughter, her freaking daughter was on TV, and the mom didn’t even want to hike up her big girl panties and go downstairs to watch her daughter on TV with the dad and Skye. Like what GARBAGE! I knew she watched the show by herself, but my goodness, was it that painful to watch your daughter be happy and do something she loves on TV? 🙄 And she never tried to talk to Skye about the competition except to tell her to drop the heck out. THE FREAK? You SUCK!!!!
“Why can’t you be proud of me?”
“. . .I just wish you were more self-conscious!”
(pg 190)
The mom can talk her self-conscious comment to the trash where it belongs! 😡
Because she should be proud of Skye.
I’m still not done talking about the mom, but we have something to say about her later on at the end, but I think I should talk about everything in between before then, but just you wait, I’m coming for her 😂🤪👏🏼.
But let’s talk about the good parent: the dad. I LOVED the dad. The mom was sucky, but the dad was great, and sometimes all you need is that one great parent/person 😂. I loved how supportive he was of Skye and how he woudl always tell her that he was proud of her. I loved how he watched Skye’s audition and was so supportive to drive her to her rehearsals during the weekends he was gone. Honestly, wished the dad was around more because it would have made Skye feel less hurt and confined with her mom. It also would have set the mom straight.
The dad was the peace maker, but I felt kind of bad that he was in the middle because he had to love his wife, but he also knew his wife was being stubborn and rude. And he only spent a few days with his wife, so I understood why he didn’t want to stand up to the mom more because he didn’t want to cause drama, but gosh, I would have liked him to try harder because Skye was hurting and his daughter’s feelings should take precedence over placating the mom.
I was also tired of the excuses the dad made for the mom. Like I get it, but it still was just that—an excuse.
“Your mom grew up in a way different culture than you and me,” dad continues. “You’ve got to understand that, you know.”
(pg 46)
I get it. She did grow up in a different culture. I get it. I know it. But this was a different time, and we should be progressing as people to understand that the way people think is not the same as it was years ago. So the dad always pulling out the culture card or the generation card bothered me.
I also didn’t like how people treated her in the competition. It truly and utterly DISGUSTED me.
When Skye went to audition, the first thing she was met with was the “looks” and doubt that she would audition—-like a fat girl shouldn’t audition. Or when Skye said she wanted to both dancing and singing, they were even more like “Are you sure?” And what kind of attitude is that/ If it were any other person, I bet they wouldn’t have bat an eye, but people saw Skye’s weight before they saw her. And that’s messed up. ☹️ People were also so smug and judgmental—-ready to laugh at her, and it’s like, what the heck are these people’s problem? They makes me sick.
And I also didn’t like how people were so sure that she was going to be the laughing stock, so that’s why they let her addition. Because if you’ve ever watched America’s Got Talent, there’s always the funny people who have no talent, but they audition anyway. And they’re funny, but yes, often in the media
“Fat girls can only aspire to be the comic relief.”
(pg 17)
Or fat boys or fat people and I’m just disgusted. How is it that a person’s weight suddenly makes it okay to laugh at them like a joke? I’ve seen it with Johan Hill, Jacob Batalon, Raini Rodriquez, and it’s like there are more to these people than making them the comedy relief because other people are so stuck up their butts that skinny is the way to be, so let’s just laugh at the curvier people. And it’s gross.
I also need to say a big f and u to Bora and all the other people who were freaking fat-phobic and fat shamed Skye to the stars because you can kiss dirty shoe, you nasty’s ☹️.
And I didn’t like how everyone called Skye the Korean Adele. I love Adele, I worship. Adele has the voice of a goddess. She’s amazing. But why is it that when we have someone who is fat or curvier that we compare them to other fat people who have been successful and make them feel like that’s their identity—the Korean Adele? Why couldn’t Skye just be her? Why couldn’t’ she just be the upcoming Asian singer? Why this standard to Adele? I get Skye sings good and I mean, POP Off sis, but something about that compassion just doesn’t feel good to me. It just felt like a backhanded compliment—you sing good, but you’re fat.
“Fat isn’t a bad word, Bobby. It’s just an adjective to describe our bodies.”
(pg 110)
That’s true. And if I’m being honest, I get nervous to say the word fat because I don’t want to offend anyone. So I’m not saying to go around calling people fat, but it is just an adjective and we have made it a bad word—a powerful word. Any word could be literally bad if we make it bad, and why have we as society deemed being fat synonymous with the f-word, the b-word, the bs-word? Why?
“Fat people can be pretty, pretty people can be fat.”
(pg 67)
This made me think about how sometimes people say you’re pretty for a fat girl or you’re smart for a blonde or you’re strong for a small girl or whatever. And it’s like, what? 😣 Why can’t a person just be pretty, smart, or strong and leave it at that? Why do we have to attach it to part of someone’s identity or someone else’s looks? And a person can be pretty even if they are fat and a person who is fat can be pretty. A person can just be pretty in general.
It also felt like how people say you’re pretty for a fat girl or you’re smart for a blonde or you’re strong for a small girl or whatever. And it’s like, what? Why can’t a person just be pretty, smart, or strong and leave it at that? Why do we have to attach it to part of someone’s identity or someone else’s looks? It all just feels
Bora and the mom are people I detest.
I mean what kind of comment is
” . . . I can most definitely tell you the camera adds ten pounds, and I’m afraid you’re a bit too . . . round.”
(pg 25-6)
Tell Skye something she don’t know 🙄. And “you’re afraid?”
NOT YOUR BODY, NOT YOUR BUSINESS. I don’t know why you’re so scared.
And I loved Skye for telling her truth and I felt like that’s why people loved Skye so much. If I were watching this show, I would love Skye for standing up for herself and for being so confident in her own skin as someone everyone didn’t like. Skye talked about the story of another Korean star she saw debut and how she lost all this weight and was hospitalized for malnutrition “for her fans and her career,” and that’s freaking hard. And how Skye said that Korean girl only said if “she tried a bit harder”—-tried a bit harder to lose weight and be this example of perfection to societies standards.
When Skye said
“That girl failed me, so I want to be my own hero.”
(pg 28)
I could have gave her a standing ovation 👏🏼. I LOVED that. There wasn’t any like her in this industry, and she didn’t want to be another person people wanted to change to fit this idealized image of beauty that wasn’t going to make her happy.
And that’s what I adore most about Skye; I loved how Skye used everyone’s judgements and she used her hurt to fuel her fire and determination to prove them wrong. Everybody.
Skye had such an unwavering confidence and an admirable love for herself that you couldn’t help but love her. And self-confidence/self-assurance is sooo hard to find, especially with everyone breathing down your neck like you don’t know you’re bigger or different than everyone else. But it was her strength, compassion, and love that got her through this entire competition and her whole life. I respected her like no other.
I also liked how always tried to be the better person and never let Bora’s fat-phobia or disrespectful comments get to her or make her lose her chill. Skye was always respectful, but stood up for herself. And Bora was just the mean bully who would not give up. I didn’t understand how the network continued to let her be the judge when she was obviously mean. Even Simon Cowell’s not that rude!
OOOOH, and when she was soooooooo PETTY to eliminate Skye from the dancing portion of the completion, I laughed 😂. WHAT A COWARD! WHAT A PETTY COWARD!!! 🤪 She’s a piece of work for sure. just because Skye called Fora out on her fat-phobia on national television and Bora felt soooo embarrassed, she retaliated and eliminated Skye. I’m sorry, Bora, as a n obvious fat-phobic, you were already embarrassing yourself. At least take your embarrassment and own it. Don’t make Skye a product of your anger just because you know you’re wrong. And I would have booed with the audience! Heck, give me a bag of vegetable and I’ll rain that thing down on Bora! 😂. Gosh, and her comment . .
“But Miss Shin has proven to be . . . problematic and unprofessional.”
(pg 223)
Freaking dumb her weight is “unprofessional.” Your attitude is unprofessional, sis. And that wording? Weight is not problematic and unprofessional, it’s people’s attitudes. I was as angry as a bull seeing red!
I wanted to hug Skye. She deserved so much better than people’s hate and unreasonable fears.
“ . . .but it’s ten times more hurtful to see someone trying so hard to get me eliminated just because they think my size isn’t “professional.”
(pg 223)
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺. And when Skye felt like she had nothing to say back, my heart hurt because it was just like the bullying winning. And Skye just felt at that low of spiraling thoughts as I talked about earlier, and it sucked that anyone has that sort of power to make a person feel so shizzy about themselves. Bora FREAKING sucked!
And Bobby! Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. What a prick!
I could not with him and how he didn’t want to be partnered up with Skye to dance because he thought it was a joke or its as unfair. And he literally called her fat! 😡 LOSER. What also got me with this scene was how no one spoke up to defend Skye. If someone did that to someone, I would say something for Skye and be on her side because it’s just like being a bystander and watching all these people bully someone without doing nothing. Skye deserved people who would stand up and stand with her.
Or when she was going to go on before the dance and he gave her a pig nose sign and flipped her off. You, my man, no my trash, are the real pig.
There was also Melinda 🙄. I swear, people needed to cut Skye a break because they were absolute TRASH! Melinda was only jealous of Skye because Henry liked her. Jealousy makes you look like a monster, truly Melinda. And she was also very rude to Skye about her weight. If she was trying to win Henry back, she didn’t do a very good job because being a rude fat-phobic jealous beach* wasn’t the way 🤪. And the moment Skye popped off on Melinda when Sky flexed the fact that she got in for both dancing and sinning and Melinda got in for one . . . chef’s kisses 😘👌🏼. Serve it to her!
Here’s the thing, Skye had shizzy people in her life, but she also had good people.
To be frank, her school friends, Rebecca and Clarrisa, weren’t the best. They didn’t seem interested in Skye, so much as what being attached to Skye’s talent/knowing her would od for them. At points, they didn’t seem like they were truly listening to Skye and her concerns or her dreams, and made everything about them, which I didn’t like. They just didn’t seem to care about Skye and I felt she deserved better school friends than users. But then there were moments when they did all the friend things with interrogating Henry when Skye and him started to become a thing. And her friends were always there for her, so they were okay—they were human, so they’re not going to be perfect all the time.
But I really appreciated the people Skye met and became close with in the completion like Tiffany, Lana, and Imani who was a good dancer. I loved how open and accepting Lana and Tiffany were to Skye. I loved how they were queer Asians and how knowing both of them made Skye feel less alone in who she felt like. And this is such a new, not idea, but for lack of a better word, idea that other cultures are trying to understand and accept. As an Asian, we have very respected ways and ideas of life, and we have kept to those ideas for years. But things have been changing in the world and people are coming out to live their truth in their identities and sexualities and that is something the Asian community had to also understand now. So as a queer women in a community that’s still understanding the queer community or in a culture that’s still trying to come to terms with feeling accepted to be who a person chooses to be, I could understand how alone Skye felt. So I was happy she had people she could relate to and people she could talk with about her sexuality.
I thank Lana for being vulnerable with Skye about what it was like for her and Tiffany to come out to their parents as queer. She got kicked out of the house and her parents thought it was a phase, and that broke my heart 🥺. I have heard stories of parents disowning their child for being gay and it does happen, and for lack of a better word, it sucks. They don’t derisive to get kicked out or disowned for the way they love or the way they want to live. It hurts my heart.
“I can’t change my parents any more than they can change me.”
(pg 157)
I also liked when Lana, Tiffany, Henry, and Skye went to the spa, Lana dn Tiffany picked up how uncomfortable Skye was with the situation, and Skye’s not usually uncomfortable. But I liked how they were there for Skye and let her talk about her past experience at the spa or her relationship with her mom. I loved how they were there and listened to her and understood her. They did not make her feel bad if she didn’t want to undress at the spa if that wasn’t comfforbtale for her. Get you friends like that 💛. But their understanding support made Skye confident enough to try and when she did go out in the spa, it was this cute moment. I mean, that’s what friends should feel like—-people you can open up to without judgment and who empower you to grow into the best you you can be.
Can we also randomly mention the Spongebob shirt girl? 😂 Because I would love to know where she buys her clothes and where can I get one?
I’ve mentioned his name here and there, but alas, Henry. I knew Henry going to be important the minute Skye laid eyes on him. He seemed very reserved and kind of stuck-up at first like he was too cool because he was famous already or his dad was rich. I also didn’t like the vibe he gave off like he expected and deserved special treatment.
But when he said he would be Skye’s dance partner when Bobby made it this whole big deal he didn’t want to, my mind started to shift about Henry. I liked him. He was a decent guy. Once we started to get to know Henry, I saw him as a person and it was kind, sweet, and caring. I think he just comes off as stuck up because he’s shy and a bit quiet. But I mean, he lived this whole other “famous” life where people expected him to be a certain way, so it’s hard not to be guarded to people’s intones. But I liked how Henry and Skye went to go get tacos at a truck after rehearsals because Henry was beyond hungry. And it’s sad how Henry gets so caught up in his work he forgets to take care of himself or just be a teenage kid. I also liked how he didn’t judge Skye when she wanted to eat or when she ate because sometimes people can be so rude to judge people who are fat in thinking why are they eating? And that’s disgusting. But Henry wasn’t disgusting. He enjoyed his little outing with Skye and they took pictures of each other and they were laughing and it was cute. I just never saw Henry as so human and I liked it. I also loved how he never saw Skye for her weight. He saw her for her talent, passion, personality, spunk, drive, confidence, and kindness. I mean, what a man. 👏🏼
Then Henry had to post these pictures of Skye on his social media, and you know when a cute single guy posts a picture of a random girl, the comments go OFF!😂 And people were coming for Skye and calling her a pig. I get Henry meant no harm by posting because he just wanted to share a genuine nice moment he had with Skye, but gosh, he should have asked Skye beforehand because she didn’t ask for all that negativity and, sure, if she won the competition she would be in the lime light, but give the girl a heads up if you post her and tag her. But Skye was mad at Henry for a while and Henry closed himself off to her too because he thought Skye hated him and wanted noting to do with him, and they just needed to talk it through because they weren’t going to get anywhere if they both thought the exact opposite things and couldn’t put their differences aside to dance with each other.
I also still kind of want to know more about Henry’s past. Because that’s dumb if his friends didn’t want to be friends anymore because of what happened or how he didn’t want to impose on anyone so that’s why he didn’t really have friends. Henry was a good guy.
Because Henry was bi and he kissed a boy and his parents found out so they tried to cover up the story by paying the guy money to keep quiet, but the guy took it the wrong way and it ruined Henry’s relationship and his relationship with his friends. So it also made it harder for him to connect with others because Henry didn’t feel like he could be himself with all this pressure around him to be the model, rich, straight Korean man. So Skye and Henry had this conversation where Henry also opened up as bi, which I love for him being honest.
“We’re like… the future of Koreans and Korean Americans, you know? We have to be better than our parents generation.”
(pg 262)
And it’s future generations of Koreans and Korean Americans, they can set the future to be inclusive and accepting of all sexualities, orientations, identities, and body-types, or they perpetuate the same narrative.
With generations we need to better than the last because that is how we learn and grow as people. Not for some weird flex that “Oh, the generation is better than that,” but to improve as a whole.
When Henry and Skye talked it cleared the very needed air, but it brought them closer. The sis had his number 😏 and he would text her all the time, or when he would message her pictures of Snowball his dog, that was cute! Get you a man who sends you dog pics, not nudes! 🤪 I liked how nervous Henry felt to talk to her or open up to her because it meant he was at least humble about himself. So that’s good for her—don’t want someone cocky. Their partner dance moment was cute because they just seemed so in sync with each other and like they were made to dance with each other. Henry was so encouraging before they danced and I loved it. And I felt his rage at Bora when Skye got eliminated. Gotta love the moment when Henry went with them to the spa and he was shirtless and everyone followed him around. Love that for him 😂. He gives me Shin Lin vibes if you know. The magician from AGT?
I also loved his bodyguard and Portia, his assistant, because they were really nice people and always supported Henry. I loved when they were dropped off at the spa, Portia was like, “You’re doing great sweetie.” 😂
I also loved that moment where he took her to the observatory to look at the stars and they just talked because how CUTE.But Skye really liked him and he liked her too. They understood each other.
“We both wanted to prove to someone that we’re more than our appearance.”
(pg 217)
Henry wanted to be more than just another pretty face and Skye wanted to be more than just another laughing stock.
Ultimately, this was a story about Skye. And I’ve said it before with her admirable confidence, but she was truly a force to be reckon with.
Because everyone came at her—calling her fat, a pig—making her feel like all these things and more, and she used all of ti to show them they were wrong about her out of love for herself. And in the process, millions of people fell in love with her because they hadn’t seen someone so confident to be who they are and own it. And that’s what we should be. When it came to the end of the competition and Skye danced with all her friends and everything and Bora got mad, I loved how everyone was on Skye’s side. It was such a difference from how no one spoke up fo her to how people screened her name and started.a Twitter rage. And she freaking won for voice! She proved everyone wrong. And you know what, when she told her mom, I literally said FRIDGE THiS MOM!
I told you were weren’t done with her. I swear, she won, Skye finally won, and proved fat girls can do anything any person can, but the mom didn’t even have a reaction. This girl was colder than liquid nitrogen and as hard as an Easter Island head 🙄. I don’t even know. She sucks. And she did say more, I give her that, she kind of tried, but I would have liked an apology to Skye. Because that’s what I wanted to hear. And I would have liked an “I’m wrong” from the mom.
It sucked Skye just waited for the “but” to her mom’s response because she thought her mom saw the worse in her.
“Part of me know she’s only saying all this now because I won, but I just decide to take it as it is. Maybe I didn’t need her approval, after all. I know my worth, now more than ever. If this is all I’m ever going to get from her, so be it. . .
I don’t say, “Thanks for believing in me,” or “Thanks for always being there for me,” because we both know those words would just be lies. That’s not the kind of relationship I have with my Mom. It’s time that I finally accepted it.”
(pg 313)
Skye had nothing to prove that woman in the first place and I always felt that way. But even if she did set out and did something to prove to her mom, she mostly proved something to herself: Skye could do anything she put her mind to and she didn’t need her mom’s approval to feel worthy. Skye was worthy and strong because she had that from within, and she had people who did love her and accept her for her. And sometimes, we just have to live with the fact that, again, we can’t change how people feel or think, we can try, but not always succeed. Sometimes our relationships with people are always going to be a certain way because of that, but not to let it get to us, thinking it has to be perfect. No relationship is. Because if you tried everything and someone can’t even meet you halfway, it’s not worth it; Sometimes we have to take what we get and make the best of it, and if someone doesn’t completely want to meet you halfway then it’s not your fault for trying so hard to please someone who will never move or be pleased.
So I loved that Skye recognized her worth and had the strength to accept that this was her mom and this was her. They might not see eye-to-eye but Skye had herself and that was enough.
Skye deserved wwwwwwayyyy, better but I’m happy that at least in her own removed way the mom said she as proud of her, but the mom shouldn’t have needed to see her daughter win to know that.
I also felt like Skye’s strength came from her Mom’s austereness. Because her mom taught her to be strong because they live in world that judges people who are fat, and this made Skye on guard but to be better than what her mom or others thought of her—- she doesn’t want to be like the mom or others. So she showed more compassion and love. It goes with the saying how the kindest people are the most hurt because they don’t want others to feel that way too.
Honestly, Skye’s my hero and she makes me want to be unapolegically proud of my own body in knowing I am good enough for me. Change starts with us—within us to know we are beautiful the way we are. And if we recognize that and stand up for ourselves and others, we can start to change the world and how ti views beauty and the body. I love Skye 💛.
It was kind of bittersweet, but mostly sad when the competition wrapped up and they were all going their separate ways, but I have hope that they’ll always be in each other’s lives. I’m excited for Skye to go to Korea, gosh knows the mom’s probably shaking in her seat about her relatives thinking bad about Skye, but truly her family should be proud of Skye and should be eager to meet her. I wouldn’t be mad at a Skye in Korea book to see where the completion takes her 😄. Or to see how Henry and Skye steal Korea’s heart. Maybe one day Skye will become a famous singer and dancer in Korea and Tiffany, Lana, and Imani can be in her group! I hope for that 😁.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? If you auditioned for My Shining Star, would you have auditioned for singing, dancing, or both? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
5 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: I detested the mom, Bobby, and Bora. But I ADORED Skye! Queen Skye forever 💛. She was just so unapologetically herself you couldn’t help but love her.
Writing: Made me frustrated, empowered, and enlightened all within the first few pages 💛
Plot: I’ve read many body positivity books, but I loved reading and learning from another perspective about body-shaming from other cultures and what it takes to overcomes them.
Romance: Henry and Skye were cute together, but I didn’t feel like this was a romance book, bur more so a love-yourself story.