Five Feet Apart By Rachael Lippincott Book Review

“We need that touch from the one we love, almost as much as we need air to breathe. I never understood the importance of touch, his touch. . . until I couldn’t have it.”

About

Authors: Rachael Lippincott, Mikki Daughtry (contributor), and Tobias Iaconis (contributor)

Genre: Young Adult Romance

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Synopsis

Can you love someone you can never touch?

Stella Grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. At this point, what Stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. Six feet apart. No exceptions.

The only thing Will Newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. He couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. Soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

Will’s exactly what Stella needs to stay away from. If he so much as breathes on Stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. Either one of them could die. The only way to stay alive is to stay apart. But suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. It feels like punishment.

What if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? Would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

Dear humbled reader,

This book brought me to tears of sadness, tears of joy, giddy laughter, heart-wrenching pain, and so much, so much love. I loved the whole plot of this book and the characters we met. I loved how simple everything was and yet utterly complicated. It’s truly a book you could sit down with for a good couple hours and just lose track of time with. I highly recommend just siting on a bench or on a couch and just giving this book all the attention it deserves.

I want to touch on the fact that this book brings so much awareness to cystic fibrosis and Burkholderia Cepacia Complex or B. cepacia. Granted, I’ve probably heard of CF before in my life and I bet you have too. But I never really knew what CF was/entailed until I read this book. And it’s hard to think that there are people out there in the world that lives with CF everyday and who struggle to breath. Sometimes we take things for granted, something as simple as breathing, and this just made me form such a deep respect and love for people who live with CF and who are fighting everyday to get air into their lungs. I hope you keep fighting and that things get better for you. Life is worth living.

For me, I think that this book depicted CF and B. cepacia the best that it could. Of course, a person who lives with CF and B. cepacia has more authority on whether or not this accurately represents them or their experiences. But to me I just felt the awareness and touching on what these two things were was very honest and light—- good for a book setting.

Stella Grant is someone you just love the instant you meet her. She loves to-do lists and I think it’s pretty cool that she made her own app and can code. I wonder if that kind of app is out there in the real world? I think that would be a very useful app to have for people who want to stick to a medical regime. Anyway, the quality I loved most about Stella was how big her heart was and how much she cared for other people. She seemed to put other people’s happiness before her own. She wanted her parents to be happy because she knew that they’re going through a hard time with the loss of Abby and with the new divorce. But to Stella, it’s this huge burden and responsibility thinking that she had to live for them or her parents wouldn’t be able to live because they have already lost so much. Whenever I read the parts where Stella kept saying how she had to live for her parents and stick to her schedule to make them happy, I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her she didn’t need to place that much responsibility on her shoulders. That’s such a hard thing to place on anyone’s shoulders.

She also was very caring towards he friends, Mya and Camilla. Even though Stella planned the senior Cabo trip, but couldn’t go, she was still supportive of making sure her friends didn’t feel awkward about her not coming. Sure, she was sad she couldn’t go, but she was happy for them. Her loving attitude also extended to Poe and Will. Poe, her best friend, whom she new since she was little and would eat lunch with over Skype. Then there’s Will whom she convinced to do his regime to live.

Let’s talk more about Will. First, Will is the typical rebellious boy that parents tell you to steer clear of. He loves to draw cartoons and he just wants to turn 18 so that he can finally be out of the hospital and explore all the places he’s been to but has only seen from the rooftops over multiple hospitals. If I was Will, I would probably feel the same confinement and sense of wanting to explore. He’s been to all these amazing, exotic places, anyone would dream of going like Cabo, Italy, Paris, and Switzerland, but all the times he’s been there, he’s been stuck in one place with the same white walls, white floors, and white hospital beds. I could only imagine how much that must suck to see all these places and never get to truly experience and explore them. It’s like knowing you’re so close to something you want to grab, but yet it’s so far away at the same time.

I loved the relationship that Will and Stella started to develop after they first met. Her first encounter with Will was seeing him lending his room to Jason and Hope (his friends) for some “private time.” Stella was disgusted by what he’s letting them do in his room. Will’s reaction to first seeing Stella was thinking that there was finally a cute girl his age at the hospital. What a typical thought for a teenage boy. *Insert roll eyes here* Then they started to flirt in the NICU because Will followed her like a lion stalking his prey. But not in a creepy way, more of like an intrigued way.

Then things really took off when Will went up to the roof to stare out at all the lights of the city. How convient, though that from his spot on the roof, that he could see down below right into Stella’s room. They caught each others eyes and somehow Will gets his breath knocked out from him by the wind. Must have been some powerful wind. Seeing this, Stella ran up there and asked him if he has a death wish for being so close to the edge of the roof. I thought it was utterly hilarious how as Stella was going back to her room, she took the dollar bill out so the alarm would go off when Will came back down. Clever girl!

After, the rooftop scene, Stella’s concern for Will started to form. She worried about him because she cared and she didn’t want to see him die. This makes her mind start to run amuck in thinking if he’s doing his medical routine by taking his pills and doing his Afflovest. To ease her mind about Will, she strikes up this deal with him that he does his treatment in exchange for him getting to draw her. I guess, it was a win-win type of situation.

One of my absolute favorite moments in the beginning of their relationship included the part where Stella had to get surgery and she’s super scared to because her lungs were not in it’s best state. It was also the first time she had to undergo surgery since Abbey passed away and Abbey was always there for her to be her rock or her light in the darkness. But since Abbey wasn’t there, Stella was even more nervous. But my goodness! Will searched online for the old song that Abbey used to sing to Stella to ease her nerves and then he snuck into the hospital room and sung her the song instead! My heart swelled!!!! And I was like Will is too good for this world! Like get you a man who will sing to you to ease your worries. If that’s not adorable, I don’t know what is!

I also found it cute how Stella taught Will to take his pills with chocolate pudding and how they would FaceTime each other every time to do their Afflovest or their night time pills together. And during this time, they both start to feel less lonely. Especially Will.

Will came across as someone who didn’t care much about his life because he felt like he wasn’t going to live long anyway. Always thinking this, he just wanted to live his life the best he could before it was too late, meaning exploring the world and not being stuck in hospital to hospital. That’s why he loves risks. But when he starts to become invested in Stella and to do his medical regime, he stars to see things from a new light. He starts to have a reason to want to live. He also starts to see why his mom would go so far as to put him in different hospitals because she wants more time with her son. And Will always just thought he was a burden—-medically and financially—to his mom, but he was so much more than that. She genuinely loves her son because he’s all that she has and she just wants him to be better. Without Stella, I think Will wouldn’t have grown or realized all the things he has to be thankful for.

Stella has also grown from being in this relationship. She learned to take risks. From the get go, it was stated that the golden rule was to always keep six feet apart. That kind of made me question why the book was called five feet apart if the golden rule was six feet apart. I was thoroughly confused for a good while. But then when I read why, it was a big “Oh!” kind of moment. Stella wanted to steal that 1 foot that was taken from her and to make the distance between Will and her five feet, so she could still be close to him, but not as far away. And I just loved that! She had so much things already taken from her, and she was finally taking her own life into her own hands.

As much as first dates go, this had to be a first date that was beyond perfect. I loved how Stella spent so many hours going through her “hospital wardrobe,” trying to figure out what to wear. I loved how when she met Will, she had a pool cue. Like where did she get that from?

I liked all the details of the moment in how Stella put the white rose in her hair and how they had a candle lit dinner in the atrium. Like how romantic! A candle lit dinner in a garden! Wow. I loved the way Will looked at Stella like she’s the most beautiful creation to ever exist. I also enjoyed the way they just talked about deep, meaningful things and how they swum together at the pool. It would have been amazing if they did kiss, but I knew they couldn’t. It was just such a good moment shared between them and it was as intimate as it could be.

But then Barb had to go ruin their first date by looking for both of them. Stella had to book it to the NICU and fake sleep, while Will had to run to his room to act casual. I swear Barb comes looking for them at the wrong moments.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Barb. She genuinely cares for all her patients like they’re her own kids because she has known them for pretty much a long time with the exception of Will. But Barb still cares about Will, even though she doesn’t know him well because to her I feel like all lives matter and she just wants them to safe and happy. So I understand why she would tell Will to stay away from Stella and vise versa, because she already helped two CFers fall in love before and one person passed because of her helping them. I think that she shouldn’t be so hard on herself/take the blame because ultimately she helped them feel hope and love, which is something invaluable.

But after the first date, my favorite part of the whole book was the birthday. The first date was adorable, but the birthday was truly special. It was such a good moment between all the CFers and the friends to just be in one place to celebrate life.

Stella and Will’s friends all canceled on him on his birthday because they were secretly planning his party. I felt bad for Will because he was sitting in his room all day lonely, thinking “happy birthday to me.” If my friends never said happy birthday or wanted to see me on my special day, I would have felt pretty dejected too.

Then at night, Stella texted Will to come find her and she placed all these hide and seek clues for him everywhere significant they’ve been together. At the last clue, Stella texted him to come to the cafeteria where everyone surprised him.

It was soooo cute! I thoroughly enjoyed how they all kept a respectable distance from each other—–very mature. I also loved how Poe was the culinary chef of the hour. If swear if Poe wasn’t in the hospital, he would make a good chef with all the skills he has. I liked the part where Poe came out with his lobster linguine dish and then Will’s like “Sucks I’m allergic to shellfish.” Then Poe’s face falls and Will’s like “I’m joking.” I was cracking up!

During this birthday scene, I also enjoyed the intimate and soppy moment between Poe and Stella where they held hands with the oven mitts. I thought that it was such a good last impression to have of Poe—happy and in his element.

It was also fun how they all sang happy birthday to Will and how he said he felt so much love in that moment. That meant a lot coming from Will because I think that he has felt alone for a long time, with his dad who left, and his mom who he always felt like didn’t love him as a person, but as a responsibility. I just loved the fact that Will had friendships that made him feel supported and loved in life. And so did Stella too.

It wouldn’t be Will if he didn’t bring his humor in this situation and say he couldn’t blow out the candles because they might get B. cepacia if he did. So Hope blows out the candles.

Then Barb, typical Barb, had to barge in and tell them to clean up and go to their rooms. What a buzz kill. They were just having fun together as friends and they were all so safe about it. I wanted to scream at her to lighten up.

After this though, the whole book kind of whirlwinds from one thing to another. It’s like a hug domino effect of pain and loss and understanding.

I was not mentally or physically prepared when all of a sudden Poe passes away. My heart literally shattered on the floor. Stella! I wanted to wrap her in a hug! Will wanted to wrap her in a hug, but couldn’t and how awful is that! To want to comfort somebody but knowing you can’t because they might get sick from it! But after the news shocks her, a very big part of her started to give up. She started to think how all this time she spent doing her regime and how she still got sick and had to do surgery. Poe had been so careful, how they all have been so careful, and yet tragic things still happened. So Stella thought what was the point of being so careful when everything was going to go bad anyway? And I just really hurt for her. Because Stella was always so hopeful and she was a fighter and now she was slowly losing that hope. She didn’t even want the new lung!

The whole moment of the snowball fight and making snow angels with Will was such a light-hearted scene because Stella has been in this hospital setting practically her whole life and in the whole book, so seeing her outside and really living just made me happy. What didn’t make me happy was when she fell through the ice and started to drown! Like why!?! Wasn’t it enough that her best friend and sister passed away?

Stella saw Abbey when she was drowning and I was like “Stella you are not dying today!” She had this whole out of body experience where she saw Will trying to save her and my heart was racing for Will. He gave her freaking CPR and I was like Will you’re spitting in her mouth and touching her! RED ALERT, RED ALERT! But at the same time I was like he’s saving her life! I was so conflicted! But what he did was so right.

I was happy that Stella held onto life and didn’t go with Abbey to the light. But because she held onto life, it meant she couldn’t hold onto someone else that was equally important to her.

Will.

The whole ending had me in sobs. SOBS. Will loved her so much that he knew he needed to let her go and let her live with her new lungs. He knew if he stayed around, she might get sicker and he couldn’t stand the thought of living in a world without Stella, let alone being the reason she wasn’t there anymore. I thought it was such a mature thing to let her go and when he called her at the end and was at the window! My heart! He was like close your eyes, it’s making it harder to walk away from you. And there I was screaming at Will not to walk away! But she closed her eyes, knowing they had to do this. And when she opened them, his lips were imprinted on the glass.

I was like that couldn’t be the end, right?

Right : )

There was an eight month after scene where they both see each other at the airport. Will’s going somewhere with Jason because his mom was finally letting him have some control over his life. Stella was going to the Sistine with Mya and Camila now that she had new lungs and didn’t need her cannula or G-tubes. It was nice seeing Stella sound so free and happy. But it was better when she saw Will at the airport and they grinned giddily at each other. They stood five feet apart after all this time. Because no matter the space, time, or distance, Will and Stella’s love for each other will always stand strong.

I will always pin for them and their happy endings.

I just feel like this book touched something deep in me in shedding light on CF and love. I hope anyone going through any battles whether it be CF, diabetes, or something else, I hope you keep fighting everyday and know that your life matters. You deserve to be happy, to be loved, and so much more. I know things can be challenging in life, but you will get through this and things will be okay. I hope nothing less for you and your loved ones.

Always remember to spread positivity and love,

Rating

5 Full bloom flowers
Characters: I loved the variety of personalities of the people in this book and how we got to know them.
Plot: A good book for shedding life on CF and I think that the plot wasn’t too heavy or dramatic, but just simple and beautiful.
Romance: I think we all know how true their love was. I like how that they didn’t end up together per say, but we know that they love each other enough to do what’s best.
Writing: Simple, beautiful, and just right