First Draft of Project Teal

To those with a dream,

Last summer I spent ever night of May through August working on a book. I typed my heart out, cringed in frustration so many times, but I was finally able to finish my first original draft of my work in progress book. For the sake of these writing diaries, I’ll call this book Project OLT, where OLT stands for my subject-to-change title of the book so far.

For me, writing this first draft meant the world because I never pushed myself to actually follow through with my writing. I have tried numerous times in the past to write a book, but I always stopped in the beginning because I would reflect on some parts that I wrote and I would feel so disgusted with myself and what I wrote. My feelings would always get the best of me and was what really discouraged me from ever fully writing a book. But I guess this summer, I just felt like I should get started on my dreams of writing a book and make it a reality. I was also inspired by book tuber Christine Ricco’s book writing journey to write my own book. I have been watching Christine’s writing diaries since the beginning and have watched how she struggled and triumphed with her writing throughout these years. And this year, she finally announced that her book Again, But Better would come out next year on May 7! After about 2 years of working on her book, she finally published it. And that made me feel like if Christine could write a book and go through the entire process, then maybe I could write a book and go through the process too. My writing may not be as good as hers, but who am I to compare my writing to Christine’s when we’re two different voices/people.

I think I was also more motivated to start drafting my first book because high school was over. I felt like since one door close, I could chase after a new dream: to write a book. And what better time to start then during summer when there is no school and no interruptions to stop me from trying. So try I did.

I came up with the idea for Project OLT after I finished high school and I just felt like it was so fitting for how I felt. So I needed to write it out. I first came up with a character page in figuring out what I wanted my characters to be named and their physical attributes.

Then I decided on the plot. Plot building is extremely difficult! I didn’t know where to start or what kind of scenes I wanted to create, but I tried to envision things that would best help the plot move along. I focused on the main idea of the story and built off of that. I also knew what I wanted my end to be and that really helped me figure out how I could potentially lead up to that ending I wanted.

Once I had my characters and plot planned out, I sat down in front of my laptop and opened up a new document and started writing. I started pouring out words on the black canvas before me. Throughout all the months that I sat in front of my computer and wrote, I have developed such a high appreciation and respect for all authors and writers.

It’s one of the hardest things in the world to create something from nothing. I think I took it for granted that the final book I read was the first thing that authors wrote. But that’s definitely not the case. I think it passed my mind that authors undergo so many drafts and edits and changes in their book that the final draft of their books are not their first draft. I just thought authors magically just wrote a book as a one time kind of thing and it’s done! Poof.

If only that were the case ; )

But I heard that first drafts are the worst and suck because there will be many grammatical errors and scenes that don’t flow. And it took me writing my own first draft to realize this. There will be scenes that suck or don’t flow or will make you want to poke your eyeballs out, but you just have to keep writing. If you get completely stuck, it’s okay to take a break from wiring to regroup and find that vision of your book, but you have to get back to writing and don’t avoid it.

There were so many days where I would feel unmotivated to open up my draft again knowing all the gross scenes I wrote (not as in gory gross but like gross writing kind of gross). I just remember thinking that things don’t make sense or something sounded weird and I just didn’t know how to move on from there. But I told myself that I needed to take those breaks for a day or two and plan and outline. I knew I couldn’t stop writing just because I felt discouraged. If I would have given up, I would have never did something that was as strenuous for me as climbing a mountain would be.

That’s not to say writing was an arduous chore. Writing was rewarding and fun because I was doing something I loved and genuinely loved to do. Writing challenged me to find a voice and to create a plot. I got to write so many funny scenes and quirky things. To me that was the fun part of writing—-the limitless imagination and creativity you can have. Even though there were the hard writing days, the good writing days was what really made me continue on and see everything through.

On August 7 with 131,975 words. I remember it was an afternoon when I wrote the last scene. I closed my laptop and just stared out the window with the lightest and brightest feeling in my chest. I went outside and checked the mail—–I don’t know why—–with a smile on my face because I did it. I did it. And some people would be jumping for joy or cheering to themselves, but apparently my celebration was to check the mail. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I guess I needed to get out and relish in the sun and my happiness.

My first draft might not have been top notch writing, but I finished it and that’s more than I would have been able to say years ago.

It took me three months and it’ll take me soooo many more months to edit and figure out the whole publishing process. It will take me months to get feedback and to edit some more.

I know there will be days where I will feel challenged and will struggle with my edits, but I think I have gotten over the biggest hurdle in already writing everything out. Now I have to fine tune the scenes and make them stronger.

And I know that the overall process to get a book published is a long, rocky road full of rejection. I know that my book might get rejected multiple times for having a dumb plot or not being good enough and I’m prepared for those rejections. Maybe not fully prepared, but I know they will come. Because I know I’m not the best writer, but I know I can always try to be better. I will take those rejections and use them to motivate me to improve my book so that one day I will get a yes—-a yes that will change my life dramatically.

If you ever had a dream I hope you know that I know you can do it. I believe in you and your talent to one day chase after your dreams head strong. All dreams are challenging because there seems to be this long path laid out and you don’t know where to start or how to get to the end that you want. Don’t be intimidated by the road ahead, be inspired by it. Be inspired to take that first step forward in accomplishing what you always wanted to do. I guarantee you, if you work towards it each day in practicing your skill or improving your knowledge, you will one day look behind you at how far you’ve come and how little more you need to travel to get to where you were meant to be.

Take that step forward today, tomorrow, or the day after, but never wait until it’s too late. And never let anyone tell you you can’t do this or that just because it sounds “dumb” or it’s “impractical.” Your good intentioned dreams are valid and are important.

If you have a dream, what is it? How close are you to your dream? If you ever had a dream like mine in writing a book, have you started writing a book? What has the writing process been like for you? I would love to know in the comments below!

I hope you stay with me along this journey of mine as I venture closer to my dream, and that you have the strength and courage to chase after yours as well : )

With love,