Fat Chance, Charlie Vega by Crystal Maldonado Book Review

“‘I’m sorry,’ I say.

‘I’m sorry for you, too.’ Then he holds out his hand to me. ‘But they’re wrong about us.’

. . . I rose my head on his shoulder, look at the beautiful bodies in the painting before me, and think, Yes. They’re wrong about all of us.”

(pg. 243)

About

Author: Crystal Maldonado

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary

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Synopsis

Charlie Vega is a lot of things. Smart. Funny. Artistic. Ambitious. Fat. 

People sometimes have a problem with that last one. Especially her mom. Charlie wants a good relationship with her body, but it’s hard, and her mom leaving a billion weight loss shakes on her dresser doesn’t help. The world and everyone in it have ideas about what she should look like: thinner, lighter, slimmer-faced, straighter-haired. Be smaller. Be whiter. Be quieter. 

But there’s one person who’s always in Charlie’s corner: her best friend Amelia. Slim. Popular. Athletic. Totally dope. So when Charlie starts a tentative relationship with cute classmate Brian, the first worthwhile guy to notice her, everything is perfect until she learns one thing–he asked Amelia out first. So is she his second choice or what? Does he even really see her? 

Because it’s time people did.

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

❗️❗️Trigger warning for anyone who has had an eating disorder or struggling relationship with food, diet culture, or weight ❗️❗️

To all the Charlie’s and Amelia’s,

Gosh, was this book a warm cup of coffee to hold between your hands and devour yourself in. Such a sweet, conflicted, and beautifully written book that incorporated a range of topics; I appreciated conversations about culture, race, feminism, body positivity, fat shaming/fat phobia, comparison, toxic boys, self-love, and complex relationships. This story really tied all these conversations in a poignant novel that touched the heart.

Let’s start off by talking about Charlie.

Charlie reminds me a lot like myself. I loved how we see a brown fat woman represented in a story because gosh knows I grew up never seeing fat people or people of color in stories I read—-like we didn’t belong. But seeing more representation in stories has warmed my heart because when you don’t see yourself in stories, it makes it feel like you are other/have no place in this world. It makes you feel alone in comparison to the majority/dominant culture. So I just want to say thank you to Crystal Maldonado and other others who are using their voices to share stories where people see themselves and can know they aren’t alone in their experiences or emotions.

I am not a Latina woman. I am an Asian woman, but I still could understand Charlie’s emotions. I had an eating disorder (ED) when I was fifteen until I was sixteen, but even years after I still struggled to find a healthy relationship with food. The thing with an eating disorder, or for me anyway, is that it doesn’t just come out of nowhere for no reason. It takes years of anger, frustration, pain, and hurt that eventually make you feel like you have to have a drastic change. Years built up to my ED and my struggles with food and body dysmorphia— years that I would constantly get harped on for being “chubbier” or “fattier.” I would get the underlying comments of how everyone around me was beautiful and pretty and skinny and I never got anything—no compliments or praise. I felt wrong—like I wasn’t good enough. I also never had a romantic relationship in my life and would find myself daydreaming like Charlie about finding love. But I never found someone who loved me for me, and that made me more insecure as everyone around me had boyfriends or girlfriends or were holding hands. I never held hands with a boy or never had someone look at me the way people do when they like each other. I never had that. I continued to spiral. One thing led to another and that’s how a lifelong battle started for me.

So, I felt for Charlie because I knew every emotion she felt—deep to my core. I’m glad though Charlie didn’t go through the ED path I went through because it’s not easy—it hasn’t been easy. But I could feel her spiral in her thoughts with losing weight. I appreciated having Charlie’s character have those thoughts because spiraling thoughts are natural when you have moments of insecurity or doubt. It really humanized Charlie. I also understood how Charlie felt like the mom didn’t love her for her. Gosh, did I understand. That’s so hard. I felt like the mom was patronizing and being insensitive to Charlie without knowing it. The shakes, the calling Amelia beautiful or telling her to call her mom, and all these shady comments built up in Charlie’s mind. I mean, how could they not. They send an underlying message to Charlie that made her feel not good enough.

I think it’s okay to lose weight to want to be healthy. I just feel like people shouldn’t force or push weight loss and diet culture on other people if they express that person doesn’t want to lose weight at the moment. Because that was unfair of the mom to keep coercing Charlie to feel like she needed to lose weight and eat healthy when Charlie didn’t want that. If Charlie loved herself for who she was, then who the FREAK cares what size she was and how she looked. Every body is beautiful and we shouldn’t make people feel the need to change to fit this subjective, ridiculous standard that skinny is beautiful or skinny is perfect because what the FREAK says that skinny is all you can be. Not everyone was born to be a cardboard box and not everyone is going to have washboard abs. People come as they are and I just don’t understand why society tries so hard to tear people down. For money? Economy? So people buy clothes and feel like they aren’t good enough and pay all this money to lose weight? Honestly, it disgusts me everyday that people would rather tear each other down for the sake of greed and profit rather than uplift each other and our differences. I just don’t understand sometimes. I mean, Charlie’s a fictional character, but she represents a lot of people who have ever felt like her. It’s frustrating.

Charlie was frustrated her mom always made her feel like she wasn’t loved or good enough. I was hurt for her because I’ve been in her shoes before. It sucks butt because you know you’re not supposed to rage on your mother, but at the same time you just don’t deserve the ridicule you get. You know? I appreciated how Amelia and Brian both knew the mom was rude to Charlie and the way the mom talked to her wasn’t right. I knew it wasn’t right.

“‘No one’s mom should talk to them the way your mom talks to you. Moms are supposed to, like, build you up. Make you feel good. At the very least, they’re not supposed to make you feel worse about yourself.'”

(pg. 118)

Ex–FREAKING-actly!!

I didn’t like how the mom would yell at Charlie at everything and then ground her like that was a good punishment. I mean, whenever Charlie said something true, the mom would shut down because she knew Charlie was right but she just didn’t want to deal with it. I also didn’t like how the mom took Charlie shopping for Charlie’s seventeenth birthday party dress and the mom took her to all these skinny people stores that the mom knew Charlie wouldn’t fit into. That made my blood boil 😡.

Let’s talk about stores for a bit. I appreciate we live in a time where stores do have plus-sized sections or plus-sized stores because we didn’t even have that ten years ago. It makes me really sad to think how people back then—heck, ten years ago—-didn’t even have a section or place to find clothing that made them feel rocking or beautiful. That makes me sad and frustrated and angry. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and to wear clothes that make them feel good.

It’s not fair to say people have to fit clothes, but clothes should be made to fit people. I mean, isn’t that what clothes are for?

I really hope we have more stores, sections, and sizes in stores because it’s wrong that we ostracize people who are fat to shop at a different store or to shop in their own section in the corner. That’s soooooo wrong. It’s like saying, “Hey, yea, you, you are fat so here’s a section in the corner for you and here’s a store.” I AM DISGUSTED. Why can’t we just have stores carry a range of sizes so people feel comfortable looking through clothes in the racks along with everyone else. Because their bodies are normal just like everyone else. It really made me sad too, how Charlie was so embarrassed to shop with Amelia because she didn’t want Amelia to think weird of her for shopping at a plus-sized store. Gosh, there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about doing that. I could understand how it could feel that way, but it really does make me sad that soooo many people carry this feeling and fear while shopping. Shopping should feel enjoyable and fun, finding clothes that make you feel like a superstar or like a hot tamale. It shouldn’t make you cower in a corner or feel despondent because you know things won’t fit you anyway. There needs to be accessibility and range change and I hope to see the day where people aren’t ostracized for their size.

Everyone wants to feel beautiful and society robs so many people that happiness when they put a size on things.

Even if Charlie went with Amelia, I know Amelia wouldn’t have judged Charlie for it or think her weird.

I liked how we saw Charlie go shopping by herself. I think we can all remember the first time we went shopping by ourselves. Gosh, knows I do. It was embarrassing. It feels weird to just stand in the aisles by yourself and then look at clothes and leave. I don’t know it also feels awkward to be by yourself when you go out, or well, that’s how I feel. Especially when you are seventeen, it feels awkward going out alone. But I give Charlie props for going shopping for herself and taking her life into her hands. I liked how a sales girl helped Charlie because gosh knows she was confused. It made my heart really sad that she didn’t feel like a goddess in any outfit she put on. That hurt my heart because it wasn’t so much the dresses, but I think it was the way Charlie felt about herself in the dresses. Before my ED, I remember thinking I couldn’t wear certain clothes because I wasn’t good enough to wear them—that only certain people could wear nicer clothes. So, I never wore nice clothes because I didn’t feel confident or right to do so. So, maybe Charlie felt the same way in like she didn’t believe she deserved to look nice in nice clothes because she had to have a certain look. I also know when wearing clothes, it’s hard not to pick yourself apart and say you aren’t good enough for that outfit or something, but it’s hard.

I thought it was wonderful Charlie did have fashion inspiration from #fatfashion. It allowed her to see other bodies like her and know that she could wear nice clothes and feel beautiful too. I liked how as the story went on, Charlie got comfortable in wearing more form fitting clothes and believing she looked good. It’s hard wearing form fitting clothes when you feel the need to hide curves or rolls or things people make other people ashamed of. But show off that body, Charlie! I just loved how she was slowly building comfort to wear things she wanted.

With the whole #fatfashiton things, Charlie would have visceral feelings about fat positivity.

“But my mind struggles to bridge the gap between two ideologies. I’m fat, and I celebrate other fat people, but I don’t quite celebrate me. It makes me feel like a fraud.”

(pg. 25)

I understood where she was coming from, but she shouldn’t be hard on herself. Many people have contradictory emotions with many things. However, I felt Charlie felt like a fraud because she didn’t love herself enough because part of her still struggled with the idea that she needed to be someone else to be happy. She loved all bodies, but not her own.

Self-love is difficult when you have been told your whole life not to love yourself.

That wasn’t going to change in a day, a week, a month. It takes time.

But I just appreciated how she had this community where she felt like she belonged. It’s hard to find those places/spaces, but you know, the internet has been good for things like that—-forming communities. I liked how Charlie started posting more pictures of herself online and how people would hype her up. That warmed my heart. Charlie needed all the hype she could get after the crumbling mess the people around her made her feel.

Let’s go back to the mom, because I’m not done with her 😂.

I COULD NOT STAND her attitude towards Brian. I didn’t like how she could care less about who he was or his name. It was kind of fat-phobic of her to not even be humanly decent to him. And don’t even get me started with how Charlie mentioned Brian being her boyfriend and the mom was like, “I thought you would be with someone else because they would be a good influence you and help you on the ‘right’ path.” SHOVE YOUR HORSE POOP UP YOUR MOUTH. That was an utterly garbage thing to say. How dare she even say that about Brian, yet alone to her daughter. I’m so sorry. That was not okay.

And I don’t even want to tell you how LIVID I was when I caught on to how the mom was really throwing this birthday party for herself. I had a hunch because the mom was shopping for hot outfits for herself and inviting all these people. That screamed showing off, and Charlie knew that too. I mean, FREAKING SELFISH 😡. It was her daughter’s seventeenth birthday and instead of making this about Charlie, the mom made it into her grand weight loss debut with her smart daughter, her uncomfortable professor boyfriend, and all her health conscious friends. I honestly could not. That was a sucky, low-blow move. The fact the mom got soooooo blacked out drunk and didn’t notice her daughter at her own birthday party said a lot. The mom really had the AUDACITY to tell Charlie she planned this whole party for her and did everything for her?! I LAUGHED. What horse poop! I’m so sorry . . . if that was Charlie’s birthday party, shouldn’t the mom have had a moment where they sang happy birthday to Charlie? If it was really her birthday party, the mom would have at least noticed Charlie was gone when there was no one to sing happy birthday to. 😑 RIDICULOUS. And Charlie had to thank her? Yea, thank you for nothing.

I’m being harsh on the mom because I know and lived with people like that and it drains and depletes you. It was draining Charlie. However, I will say I felt the mom was still grieving and all her hurt, her weight loss journey, and lack of communication with Charlie came from her grief. I say this because the mom had tendencies that I had with food—saying no sweets, only chicken and vegetables, no carbs, working out all the time, wanting to weigh herself everyday, and getting angry at people. When I was in the thick of my ED, I was always mad at people because I was sad about how I couldn’t eat certain foods I told myself not to. I was hangry and tired and I just lashed out at everyone. I retreated into myself and that made me push down communication. That was what the mom was doing. It seemed like she was healthy, and on the outside, maybe she was. But her mindset about food wasn’t healthy and it was reflected in her relationship with Charlie. I can say this now because I look back on my emotions during my ED and see that I was hurting. The mom was hurting.

So, I don’t blame her for her hurt. Hurt people hurt people. The mom needed therapy for her grief and her unhealthy relationship with food. Because it was hurting Charlie and that wasn’t okay.

I appreciated the mom’s conversations and complications. I found it downhearted that Charlie didn’t feel comfortable talking to her mom. I understood that well. I think she felt like she couldn’t tell her mom anything because her mom was always hard on her, and the only way Charlie thought they communicated was through arguments. So Charlie didn’t want to argue with her mom, thus she didn’t say anything—-it was pointless to start a conversation with her. I also felt Charlie knew her mom wouldn’t see to reason if Charlie told her anything, so she just opted not to say anything. And that’s tough because people naturally want to tell other people their experiences or emotions, but here Charlie was, keeping it all in. It made my heart sad when I read the part where Amelia, Kira, and Charlie had dinner at Amelia’s house. I mean, it was a sweet scene because Kira was introduced to Amelia’s family, but at the same time it made me sad how Charlie felt Amelia’s family was so normal and her’s was not. Normal is subjective and families don’t need to be picturesque to be “correct.” I guess it’s hard, though, when you grow up seeing all these “normal” and wholesome families on TV/movies or wherever and not want that. That’s something I felt when my parents divorced; it felt like everyone had this complete family or this “perfect” family while mine wasn’t. Charlie didn’t have a perfect family and. that was okay. Sometimes family also struggles with communication because we think we don’t need to say things because they are implied. Or we just take conversations or emotions for granted. But we need to talk about how we feel because no one is going to understand if we do not voice it.

One of the first Charlie and mom conversations we had was when Charlie was grounded for calling her a terrible mom. I mean, Charlie wasn’t completely wrong 🙈. The mom just didn’t want to hear it. Then there was that other conversation where Charlie went to her mom and dad’s room and the mom somewhat admits that the way she treated Charlie was harsh. Charlie deserved a better apology or explanation if you ask me. It also rubbed me the wrong way when the mom said, “it is what it is.”

I mean, what kind of attitude was that towards Brian?! It is what it is? ☹️

The second heart-to-heart we had with the mom was towards the end. Charlie needed a mom—she needed someone to talk to. I liked how Charlie opened up the conversation about how she felt to her mom—finally! I liked that she used “I” statements because before she would use “you” statements and she would yell back at her mom. When people use “you” statements it kind of points fingers at the other person, naturally making them defensive. So Charlie was smart to use “I” statements. When the mom started crying, I felt like she got a taste of what her daughter had felt. I still think that there were obvious things that the mom needed to work through, and they needed to communicate about. However, I appreciated that they were finally talking and not screaming at each other or silencing the other with being grounded. Honestly, grounding Charlie probably did something, but it also taught her that she had to be silent whenever it came to her emotions—contributing to her lack of wanting to communicate to her mom. I still want Charlie and the mom to have a talk about weight and health culture because that wasn’t a conversation they had, but they needed. We got a taste of resolution at the end where the mom and Charlie compromised that Charlie could make her own food and such, but I still feel like there needs to be a conversation. You know?

Nevertheless, their relationship was complicated. Many mother-daughter or parent-child relationships are.

“I know we may never be okay, and we’ll never have the mother-daughter relationship I so desperately year fr. . . but we aren’t fighting, and maybe that’s all I can really ask for.”

(pg. 272)

It’s okay if those relationships aren’t perfect or if they never become “normal,” but sometimes we take what we get and work with it. And we also have to remember who we listen to because the mom might say some snide, hurtful things in the future, and gosh knows it will be hard for Charlie not to take it personally, but to respectfully ignore her mom. We also have to know that we deserve to be treated right, even if that means not listening to our parents or elders about what they say. It took me a while to realize that—that you can still respect your elders without being rude, but respecting yourself in the process. Because it is challenging when family makes you feel inferior because their family—most of the time you cannot drop them. I think this is where boundaries come in or ignoring what family members say/knowing they are wrong about you.

It’s a tricky situation.

I did like how the mom was going to try to be better to Charlie. I also liked how the mom had sweet moments where she cooked homemade Mexican meals like she used to. Charlie missed that mom—-the mom who didn’t care about weight loss, but just made things from the heart. I hope Charlie and the mom can cook and bake together like they used to. I think that would be good for them.

Another part of the mother-daughter dynamic I liked was how Charlie based a story off of their relationship. I heard somewhere once that most writers or authors base stories on their personal life or experiences—-stories that are somewhat autobiographical. Charlie seemed like that sort of writer 😊. She was also a writer inspired by her dad. I enjoyed hearing snippets of how full of life and love the dad was. He sounded like a wonderful person who would make you laugh or who would walk in the room and be friends with you. I loved how Charlie and the dad would read and write stories together. I thought that was utterly adorable ♥️ I loved her rainbow magic shoe story that she would always look back on. I loved how she wrote from a place of heart and vulnerability. I will admit, as she got deeper into her relationship, I was kind of worried she would forget about writing 😅. I would have liked to see snippets of Charlie’s writing because that would be cute. I liked how we got to see her writing process and how she would create an ambient environment to write in. I do the same thing, maybe not to the extent Charlie does so, but as a writer, you gotta do what you gotta do to write 😆. I loved the fact Charlie also had a plethora of pens and notebooks to write ideas. Gosh, knows I do too! I loved how she didn’t write in Brian’s notebook because it was expensive-looking and important. I get that way too with nice looking notebooks 😂. Are you like Charlie and I? I don’t know, for some reason it feels just wrong to write in a too nice notebook, you know? I don’t know. That could just be me 😂.

Charlie won the writing contest, which was a bit anticlimactic to me because the writing was mentioned here and there in short scenes. I just never felt Charlie’s writing to understand why she would win the contest, not that I wasn’t happy that she won. Just would have liked to see her writing. Her story idea was sweet, and I was beyond glad she went with the more vulnerable story because it would relate to others. I loved how the mom gave her flowers for it after opening Charlie’s mail, which seemed wrong 🙈. Cute, but weird she would look at Charlie’s mail.

Going along with vulnerability and writing, I REALLY LOVED when Charlie said this:

“‘ . . . honestly, writing is super hard—it makes me feel so vulnerable . . . But my dad always used to say that to be a writer, you’ve got to be fine ‘writing naked’ —like, baring your soul, being real—so I think you’re just supposed to power through the fear. It’s hard, though! It feels so personal that I can’t help but be fiercely protective of it, and then there’s this little voice that’s constantly concerned it’s not quite ready for other people’s eyes yet, but then it’s like . . . if I’m not going to share my writing, what am I even doing? I don’t know.'”

(pg. 28)

As an avid reader and aspiring writer, Crystal Maldonado did a wonderful job summing up my emotions as a writer. Writing is hard because most times writing comes from a place of connection to the story. Even if that story is high fantasy, there are connections to the plot or character that the author creates. But writing feels personal and scary because it’s like bearing your heart and soul for other people to see, critique, or judge. But also to connect and enjoy and learn. Writing is the most scarily vulnerable career out there. But it’s a beautiful one more so.

Charlie was also written as a daydreamer, which I couldn’t help but relate to as well. As a writer, are you a natural daydreamer?

“The absolute best part of day dreams is that you can have it all.”

(pg. 60)

Part of Charlie’s daydreams would be her romanticizing relationships, which I would be guilty of as well 🙈. Especially when you haven’t been in a relationship before, it’s difficult not to daydream about finding the “one” or what a first kiss might be like or who you would share that kiss with. In daydreams, it’s easy to create a narrative we wish happened, and if we don’t like that daydream, we can always change it. I guess, daydreaming goes along with writing and putting those images to words. I really liked when Crystal Maldonado wrote this:

“I hate to admit how romantic I think the entire thing is, and I’m embarrassed by how lonely it makes me feel.”

(pg. 47)

Gosh, that hit something in me that I didn’t know I needed to hear 😅.

With family, there were also Charlie’s cousins, auntie’s, and uncle’s. It seemed like after the dad passed away, Charlie and her mom didn’t feel comfortable talking to the dad’s side of the family. I felt for Charlie when she was at her Titi’s gender reveal and Charlie found herself on the sidelines of the party—-not really knowing her place. I know what that feels like when you just watch things from a distance and feel like things are happening around you, but you also want to be part of that but you don’t know how. It’s hard when you aren’t the most social person either. I appreciated how authentic Charlie felt in that way. I liked how her Titi made her feel less awkward about not being into the party because not everyone is the life of the party. What made me really sad was how Charlie felt like her cousins didn’t like her and they liked Amelia better. Amelia would dance and talk easily with everyone—-it just seemed everyone liked Amelia and not Charlie. Gosh, my heart really went out to Charlie because when you have someone “perfect,” and cool and outgoing like that to compare yourself with, it’s so freaking hard to not think you are good enough. And that can make you go all in your head and doubt your place—-a spiral of feeling worthless. I felt Charlie was hard on herself because it was all in her head about what she thought people thought of her. I don’t blame her because I get in my head as well—-I am hard on myself. We can all be our worst critics.

But I liked how towards the end, when Charlie felt lonely, she reached out to her cousins. I absolutely loved when she did that because her cousins were so excited to spend time with her—they missed their cousin Charlie. It’s funny how Carmen and Ana both felt Charlie didn’t want to hang out with them anymore, so they were kind of put off and surprised that Charlie even reached out to them. They stopped trying to invite Charlie after so many no’s. Honestly, this scene hit home for me, too.

“‘I just retreated inward, I guess. And things with my mom have never been good, so it’s like it was just easier to be by myself. It’s no excuse, though.'”

(pg. 293)

This whole book was like a moment of realization and reflection for me.

When I had my ED and I was feeling immensely sad, I just retreated inward without consciously knowing why. People would invite me to things and I would say no, thank you. The invites stopped. I guess, it was easier for me to shut people out and be by myself because it felt like no one understood what I was going through. I guess, this was also Charlie and my way of getting in our own way. There’s this saying I heard recently about how we can get in our own way—get in our own way for our happiness, our love, our life. And that is no way to live. I got in my own way by shutting people out because it was easy, but I don’t regret doing so because I think part of me needed time to myself to process how I felt and to work on myself before being ready to communicate with others. You should take time for yourself and say no to things if you need to, and then go back to the people in your life and say, “hey, I know I haven’t been around much but I was going through a lot I wasn’t ready to talk about yet. But I am ready now.” I feel like people who truly love you will understand and will listen. Sure, being away might change the relationship, but I think what has been slightly broken can be fixed through communication and love.

Charlie’s cousins loved her. I loved seeing how they accepted her and wanted to be with her. I also loved how easy it seemed for Charlie and them to fall back into an easy camaraderie. It was a sweet moment, and it showed how Charlie wanted to be more intentional about letting people in because she was ready to do so now.

Speaking of letting people in, let’s talk about the romance.

I just wanted to start by saying Cal was a user, liar, and unworthy dude, so there’s that 😂. He can suck my toes because gosh knows I wanted to hit him on the head because I could tell he was using Charlie, but Charlie didn’t know that. She thought he liked her—or would like her—-if she was nice enough. Honey, just because you’re nice to a guy doesn’t mean he will like you. And just because a guy is friendly to you, doesn’t. mean he likes you 🤪. Been there, felt that! It’s because when someone likes you, it feels validating—like someone notices you and likes you when not many people do.

The fact that Charlie was obsessed with Cal made me think how Charlie just wanted the hottest dude to like her because if the hottest dude liked her, it would say that she was good enough for someone like him to like someone like her. That broke my heart because he didn’t deserve her kindness. I felt AWFUL when Charlie got asked to the dance by him, but then she zoned out of the conversation, and I was like, he didn’t directly ask her 😆. She was going to get her heartbroken 🙈. YIKES. I knew it too, because there was this evasiveness to their conversations that didn’t make it clear he asked her. THE AUDACITY he had to be mad at her at the dance and tell her to leave?! *shakes head* I also felt terrible that Charlie dolled herself up and brought a freaking balloon to their whole MVP jock night thing before the dance, and Cal had the NERVE to let the balloon fly to the roof!!! I also could not with this jerk who acted like what happened wasn’t a big deal and he went up to her and asked her for her notes 😆. I”m sorry, did you not break her heart!!!!!? If men have one thing, it’s the AUDACITY.

And don’t even get me STARTED on this whole Sid kid. What was he, the science kid of smoking? Like gosh, the fact that he got MAD at Amelia for not doing it with him when she wasn’t ready riled my bones. OOOOH, don’t even get me started on how he threw the whole, “if you love me you would do it” thing at her. He was trash and no respecting guy who loved you would ever make you feel like you had to do something you weren’t ready for. He wasn’t worth it.

Men and the AUDACITY.

So when Brian came along, I was like, “who raised this dude?!” He was sooooo chivalrous, open, patient, romantic, and sweet.

I loved how easy it was for Charlie to talk to him and how he never made her feel fat or weird about eating. I loved how he offered to help her with her car by calling his mom. I loved how he invited her over for dinner and a movie and he showed her his art garbage, which I loved. It was also very sweet how they did the whole movie-hand-holding thing. I liked how detailed and realistic the scene was written. I also loved how Brain wrote her a Valentine after their conversation that Valentines becomes less fun when you’re older because no one gives you everything. He remembered everything and gave her that cute little typewriter card because he knew she liked writing. I also liked how thoughtful he was to get her a notebook because she enjoyed writing. I loved how he would discreetly flirt with her and she would get these butterflies. It was such a cute relationship that I knew was healthier for her than pinning for Cal!

I also liked how he took her on that roof-down ride with the wind in her hair as he promised. I thought it was cute they also went to the bookstore Charlie and the dad used to go to a lot. I liked how Brian was there for her. But he did sound a bit clingy with her because of how much he would spend time with her. But, I get it, young love. My favorite was their art date in how they had hilarious conversations about art with Andy Warhol and Monet. Loved that they yelled at the pairings 😂. With the art date, I appreciated that moment when Brain touched on the body image struggles he experienced from his mom. Not many books talk about boy’s in terms of weight or body image struggles, but I really liked that. I loved how Charlie and Brian talked about how you would never know who a person is just by how they look because even Brian’s mom’s—the sweetest looking people—would be hard on him for his weight. I think, especially the Asian mom might have been harder on Brian because Asian families can be tough on those things (I am Asian, so I kind of know). I also liked when they sold bird houses from Brian’s mom’s booth. It was a sweet little thing they did together. I thought it was kind of AWKWARDLY Weird how Charlie told Brian that she had a new bra and he kept looking at her cleavage. Gosh, I would have felt weird. But I mean all the power to Charlie for feeling confident! 👏🏼 Yes, Charlie!! She was looking for some action tonight! 🤪 Awkward.

I knew the mom was going to freak when Charlie found them in Charlie’s room kissing. I would have been shooketh if I was the mom. I mean, she didn’t even know Charlie had a boyfriend. Heck.

Ah, young love.

My favorite part of the book was the birthday scene with Charlie and her friends. I loved how down Amelia was to ditch the party and then go to Jack’s to just have coffee and pastry. I loved how all Charlie’s friends were down at the change of plans. It made my heart happy to see how excited Charlie was when people showed up—how she would greet and hug them. I loved how they all just hung out, shared presents, and then went to the arcade across the street. It just seemed so sweet and like care-free teenage fun. I loved how Brian got jealous that Charlie hugged Beckett. We love a jealous boy, not a toxic boy, but a jealous one. I also loved how Charlie started to finally believe that Amelia’s friends were her friends because they wouldn’t have just gone to her party and got her gifts if they didn’t believe Charlie wasn’t a friend. What also warmed my heart was how Amelia brought out a pastry with a candle and they all sang happy birthday to Charlie. I loved loved loved how this was the first year she didn’t wish to be skinny, but she truly enjoyed her birthday. I loved that for her because she had people in her life who cared about her and actually appreciated Charlie. Unlike some people who made things about them . . . 👉🏼👈🏼.

What I also appreciated about Fat Chance, Charlie Vega was how it focused on friendship and toxic comparison. I have read many body positivity and stories with fat protagonists. Most of those books highlighted the mother-daughter relationship. I mentioned this in one of my other posts, I think it was for I’ll Be The One by Lyla Lee with how I noticed that it’s mostly the mom or a woman who judges their daughter by their weight. That made me question why was it always a mom/woman? To me, the answer was because the mom experienced some sort of shaming, health struggle, or issues with their weight growing up, so they think they are helping their daughters by telling them to lose weight and all these things, when really they are doing the exact same thing that they feared—they become that fear and hatred and it sends a negative message to their daughter. And it made me think about how good intention doesn’t mean anything if you’re hurting someone.

“Most girls, no matter how hard they try, have some feature they’re insecure about.”

(pg. 57)

Whether it’s weight, beauty marks, rolls, ingrown toe hairs, eyes,, nose, lips, mouth, knees, underarms, legs, back, shoulders, boobs, butts. Like, there is no safe place for a woman to love herself in the toxic society we have created because we constantly make people feel like nothing is good enough. I mean, body parts are body parts and we should be able to love every part of ourselves freely and unabashedly. It makes me so sad that most girls and guys and people just don’t like themselves because they focus on what they think isn’t good enough because society has made them feel like they aren’t to “standard.” I’m one of those girls. And we continue this cycle with moms, daughters, granddaughters or fathers, sons, grandsons or just people in general that it really hurts to see how little change there has been. We need to stop putting down our daughters, sons, or children because we have been hurt. Telling children that they shouldn’t be something or look a certain way because we carry that pain with us, isn’t going to do anything but make children carry that hurt and pain. We should uplift our children. Tell them they are good enough; that they can be whatever they set their mind to; that people might say things about them, but they should trust in their body and beauty.

No one ever got back up by a hand that’s keeping them down.

Something needs to change in our dialogue.

I went on a tangent there, but I enjoyed the friendship dynamic because comparison is the root of all evil. We compare and we feel insecure and we feel not good enough and we spiral. It’s not healthy. But there’s something complex about comparing yourself to someone you love. I mean, comparing yourself to Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, or Zac Effron is not the most realistic because they have a different life than most people. But when you compare yourself to friends or family, it’s sooooo much tougher because they are in your life and they are more relatable to compare to.

I felt Charlie was resentful of Amelia, but she didn’t want to be. I didn’t like how jealous Charlie was of Amelia because it wasn’t like that was Amelia’s fault—Amelia wasn’t the bad person. Charlie just made it out to be that Amelia was “perfect” because she had all the boys and girls, she had the perfect family, she could talk easily to everyone, and she was talented. I mean, that’s hard not to compare with. But it made Charlie sound bitter and petty—I don’t blame her! It was just kind of cringe-worthy to read the parts where Charlie was jealous towards Amelia’s body and how she got all the boys. Jealously is not the best accessory to wear. I also didn’t like how Charlie kind of pushed or punched Amelia for things Amelia wasn’t even aware were wrong. Charlie wouldn’t tell Amelia things because Charlie wanted something for herself. I mean, keep what you want private, but don’t do so because you have a grudge towards your best friend. Amelia was literally the sweetest person. She constantly hyped Charlie up, she got ecstatic for Charlie whenever Charlie had news, she helped Charlie get ready, she always went along with Charlie’s plan, Amelia made time for Charlie, and Amelia never failed to listen. She was such a good friend who didn’t even know how angry her best friend was.

When Charlie started to date Brian, I was happy for her because, you know, I love love 😆, but I didn’t like how it seemed she was ditching Amelia. I mean, sisters before misters! It just seemed that Charlie would spend all this time with Brian rather than Amelia, and she would even sit with Brian at lunch rather than with her friends. I didn’t like the way Charlie kept her first outing a secret from Amelia because Amelia told Charlie everything, and yet Charlie was being slightly shady to Amelia by ditching her. Charlie could have just been upfront and said I was going out with Brian. But, I get it, maybe Charlie wanted to keep her first date a secret. After that, the ditching made me feel terrible for Amelia. I also didn’t like how Charlie went to that sleepover just because Brian was sick. It sure felt that that was the only reason, and that had to suck to feel like Charlie chose the girls second.

It was only a matter of time before they yelled at each other 😂.

They said some pretty cruel things to each other. It’s sad when people use your insecurities or secrets and throw them at your face. I didn’t like how Amelia just dropped it on Charlie that Brian asked her out first. OUCH! Charlie was used to coming in second to everyone and that hurt like being run over by a truck and then stomped on by a giant’s foot. Like, gosh, Amelia just went for the kill, didn’t she?

“But I wasn’t his first choice. I was his silver medal.”

(pg. 287)

DARN.

That hit 😅.

I felt terrible for Charlie because here she was in her first relationship, all happy, where she finally felt chosen and appreciated . . . then BAM! Amelia had to ruin her first love because it now felt like a lie that Brian didn’t love her first. Charlie broke up with Brian because she didn’t want to be someone’s second again. I don’t blame her—protect your heart but don’t close it off completely. I have to say breaking up with Brian over text was a douche thing to do 😂. A text without preamble—now that was a douche thing to do.

I liked the two heart-to-heart moments Amelia and Charlie had. They needed to talk about all these pent up feelings. I think the way Charlie initially told Amelia about how she felt was a bit like a shaken bottle—she just exploded. I think Charlie could have been kinder and more sensitive to laying out how she felt to Amelia. But I think Charlie didn’t know how to have a proper conversation because she was used to yelling and raised voices. But I’m glad Charlie finally told Amelia she felt that she came second/felt inferior to her. I appreciated the shock that Amelia felt because that would feel brutal to have someone spring that on you, a best friend no less. It wasn’t Amelia or Charlie’s fault, but I felt Amelia’s confliction because she never wanted to hurt Charlie.

I FREAKING LOVED it when Bran popped off on Charlie in the van. I was like, OOOOOH BRIAn does have ANgER in there 🤪.

“‘What is this obsession with Amelia?'”

(pg. 308)

LEt’s GO Brian!!

My point exactly! Charlie was getting in the way of her own happiness because she was so obsessed with not being good enough to Amelia. Sigh. And she never gave Brain any freaking indication why they broke up, and yet Charlie kind of placed blame e on Amelia when Amelia had nothing to do with this. It was not his problem and I was glad he recognized that.

“‘You’re asking me to move mountains here, knowing full well I can’t. I can’t fix your feelings about Amelia, Charlie, and I sure as [heck] can’t go back and un-ask Amelia out.'”

(pg. 308)

It was not Brian’s problem to fix Charlie’s jealousy with Amelia 👏🏼.

I have to say I didn’t like how Charlie reacted to this conversation. It felt very yell-y and rude to Brian because he was just trying to understand why she broke up with him and she was telling him he was invalidating her emotions. Excuse me, sis, he was being the calm, rational one. I just felt Charlie was being a bit rash towards Brain because she knew he was right.

The second heart-to-heart Charlie and Amelia had was my favorite conversation in the whole book because they needed to hash out their emotions. I liked how Amelia got Charlie to see how she was just like Charlie in her own issues—that she wasn’t perfect. I also liked how Amelia expressed that Charlie put pressure on her to be on this perfect pedestal and how hard that was on her, too. Reading that made me think how people always think everyone but themself is perfect. I mean, that’s sad. But no one is perfect—-we all have our insecurities, challenges, hardships, and battles we go through. Sometimes we see other people and think they have it well or that they have the “perfect” life because we are so down about our own life we romanticize others. That’s not fair for them. There’s a deeper problem there.

I liked how Amelia hyped up Charlie and validated her emotions. I found it kind of weird how Charlie wanted Amelia to hype her up some more when Amelia wanted to talk about deep points. Charlie sounded like a words of affirmation kind of girl, and yes, she needed all the hype to boost her confidence, but sis! Don’t interrupt Amelia when she wanted to make a point 🤪👏🏼.

“‘We’re all messy, Charlie. So when everything’s a mess, int seems to me like you just need to give yourself room to breathe. . . .

‘Can you do that?’ Amelia asks. ‘Can you try being kinder to you?’

She looks so sincere and hopeful.

With a deep breath, I say, ‘Okay. I can try.'”

(pg. 316)

I loved that ♥️.

Part of being kinder to herself was obviously getting back her man’s.

I loved the grand gesture moment because who doesn’t? I thought it was cute how she went to support his art show and how she wrote “I love you, Brian” in the notebook he gave her for her birthday. Because he was important 🥺. I also loved the full-circle moment of their kiss at the library. The painting of the world on fire in front of them was morbidly cute 😆. I thought it was mostly sweet though how he knew he loved her the moment he started to hang out with her. He always chose her first and she just didn’t see or believe it.

“Maybe the biggest problem in my life wasn’t that the world thought I came in second to Amelia. Maybe it was just that I thought that.”

(pg. 320)

The mind is powerful.

We believe what we want to. We create realities we want to. And we compare narratives if we want to. We get in our own way sometimes because we can be hard on ourselves. Be kinder to yourself, your body, and mind.

I appreciated how we got the adorable puppy double date. I was wondering if we were ever getting a double date 😂. It was a sweet way to end the story. Overall, I enjoyed Fat Chance, Charlie Vega because it took me through a past I could relate to. I also appreciated how honest some conversations and points were because it captured the emotion of going on a health journey or struggling to find acceptance in your body. For the cultural and racial aspects, I appreciated the honesty that Charlie had, too. I liked how she expressed this complex conversation of how sometimes you can be part of a culture and people can still make you feel other or less than in that culture. I feel that within my own culture,and it’s not a good feeling. So, I liked that that was touched on. I would have liked more resolution with the mom and how she was trying to be better for Charlie. I also would have enjoyed more stories about the dad.

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? How will you be kinder to yourself today? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Rating

4.86 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: Charlie’s a introspective, whole-hearted character with internal and external battles. I enjoyed seeing how her relationships evolved with each character.

Plot: Honest and complicated.

Writing: Captured emotions and experiences authentically.

Romance: Where can I find a Brian? Asking for a friend.