Early Departures by Justin a. Reynolds Book Review
“And I suppose the story moral is:
You can die and still live on.
You can be alive but be consumed by death.
The difference between living and being alive is:
Everything.”
(pg. 440)
About
Author: Justin a. Reynolds
Genre: Young Adult Contempoary
Other books by Justin a. Reynolds: Opposite of Always
Click to read other book reviews
Synopsis
Jamal’s best friend, Q, doesn’t know he’s about to die . . . again.
He also doesn’t know that Jamal tried to save his life, rescuing him from drowning only to watch Q die later in the hospital. Even more complicated, Jamal and Q haven’t been best friends in two years—not since Jamal’s parents died in a car accident, leaving him and his sister to carry on without them. Grief swallowed Jamal whole, and he blamed Q for causing the accident.
But what if Jamal could have a second chance? An impossible chance that would grant him the opportunity to say goodbye to his best friend? A new health-care technology allows Q to be reanimated—brought back to life like the old Q again. But there’s a catch: Q will only reanimate for a short time before he dies . . . forever.
Jamal is determined to make things right with Q, but grief is hard to shake. And he can’t tell Q why he’s suddenly trying to be friends with him again. Because Q has no idea that he died, and Q’s mom is not about to let anyone ruin the miracle by telling him. How can Jamal fix his friendship with Q if he can’t tell him the truth?
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To those who wanted more time,
I swear, Justin a. Reynolds has a way with words 💛. His writing is truly like poetry and healing all in one, and I couldn’t get enough of this book. I just couldn’t. I knew after I read Opposite of Always, I was a big Justin a. Reynolds fan, and that still is true, even more true. I just want to thank him, he’s probably not reading this, but thank you for sharing your words with the world because they are so poignant and powerful. Thank you 😊.
Before I go too far off topic of singing my praises of Justin a. Reynolds, let’s talk about the story.
At first, when I read the synopsis, I was like, “This kind of sounds like his last book.” Because of the second chances kind of plot. But I will say this book was different from the last book he wrote. The Opposite of Always was more of a Groundhog Day love story, while Early Departures was a friendship and family story about forgiveness, grief, a second chance/more time in life and living it well. So I was pleasantly enraptured and captivated by every word of this book because of its meaning, and I think the story resonated a lot given the year we had last year.
“Life is short. Sometimes more than we know. And you can’t prepare for that sh**. Even if you could, you still wouldn’t be prepared.”
(pg 464)
And that is beyond true. Last year changed everything for many people. Last year was not the year we expected or wanted. And sometimes, as Jamal said, we can’t prepare for that, no matter how hard we plan or think ahead in the future. All we have is now. All we have is today. All we have is this moment to live and breathe in this moment and appreciate it. I have found many people, including myself, tend to live in the past or the future of what they reminisce about before or what they want to happen next, but never just to be in the moment. Life is short. You never know. Live well, live now.
Live the best we can and make the best we can of each day. Because each day is a gift and you never know. Tell people you love them. Tell people you care.
“But life is nothing if not a series of risks.
Taking chances.
Rolling the dice.”
(pg. 461)
Take your risks in a safe manner, of course. Don’t let the fear of what would happen to you stop you from living your life and being happy. Don’t let anger, hate, regrets, or negativity drag you down from striving to be the best you you can be each day. There was this conversation Q and Jamal had about Q’s dad and how the Mom showed him this video on TuberOne about a guy talking about
“. . .living your life with no regrets. About generating good energy in life. About never taking time, or love, for granted.”
(pg. 243)
And when I read that, it couldn’t be more true. Life is too short to always be angry at people or the world. Life is too precious to live it with regrets of all your should’a’s, could’ve’s, or would’ve’s, or what ifs. Life is too short to curate negative energy. That’s not going to do you any good.
“If
If
A game that never ends.”
(pg. 288)
Surround yourself with good people—-people who genuinely care about you, love you, and appreciate you. Do things that make you happy. And be the good in the world when the world hasn’t been good to you. Let go of the negativity because you don’t need that. Forgive, and move on to grow. That’s not to say you’ll ever forget, but you can’ let someone or a memory hold you back from living the life you want. Life is too short. I know there was a point in my life where I was soooo angry with someone. It took me years to forgive her, to understand her, but when I did, I will tell you, there is no lighter feeling. Because once I let go of my hurt and anger, I could move on and heal and live for myself without feeling like there was this part of my life that was unresolved.
Let go of them, let go for you.
“Isn’t that life?
You think there’s always a tomorrow?”
(pg. 58-9)
Kind of a morbid thought, but sometimes we take things for granted.
Live and appreciate the moment 🥺. Trust me. It matters more than you think.
But with the past year alone, we know things can change in an. instant and nothing stays the same. If one thing 2020 taught me was, it was to never take anything for granted. This whole book was a reminder to us all that life is precious and should be spent with the people we love, doing what we love, and living each day like it’s our last. It’s about making amends with people in our life and knowing that no grudge is worth staying angry over or keeping just because you are mad. It’s not healthy for you or that person. Life is about taking chances, taking risks, and living because no matter how safe you can be or no matter how mundane you do things, each day and each moment is precious. It’s a gift. Never take that for granted or people for granted.
Justin a. Reynolds has truly spoken to my heart 💛
I was also very interested in Jamal’s story and his relationship with Q.
For Jamal’s story, his parents passed away in a car accident after a Carpet Diem day where the whole family went to pick trees and plant them later. The dad got a call on his bluetooth speaker while he was driving with the family, and him not being good at technology, did not know how to work it. And. . . . 😢. Yea. Jamal lost both of his parents that day, leaving him with his older sister Whit who is expecting a baby. That had to be rough—-to have your whole life change so suddenly and quickly. That had to be even harder for Whit to look after Jamal, while also navigating pregnancy by herself, and taking care of adult things like bills, taxes, etc. I give her credit because she did so much for Jamal and cared so much for him, that he didn’t stop to think how she would feel in this situation. I mean, she lost both her parents too, and she was going through a lot. So I would have liked Jamal to have given his sister more grace and kindness to what pain she was feeling too. But Jamal was younger than her, so I understood why his grief would feel different, but that’s no excuse to be a mean person just because you are in pain or hurt. But, I would give Jamal like a solid half a year to be a shizzy person, and then afterwards, nope 🤪. You got to get your act together, my friend!
Jamal was essentially failing school because he skipped classes and didn’t turn in work. I get it. He was going through a lot, and I appreciated how the teachers understood Jamal’s pain and tried to give him grace and space. But they also tried their best for him to succeed. But a teacher can’t make a student succeed if the student doesn’t do the work, let alone show up to do the work—-to meet the teacher halfway. I also liked the care the teachers displayed in wanting Jamal to stay in their school because it showed that they cared.
“I don’t want you to get eaten up whole by your grief.”
(pg. 202)
People were concerned he was swallowed up by his grief—-that Jamal let the grief dictate everything in his life. Or that Jamal let it control him and become him to the point he stopped living and loving others because he was too hurt.
“If you wanna make poor choices, do it in your own name. Not theirs. Don’t dishonor them.”
(pg. 144)
And I agreed with Whit because it’s okay if Jamal skipped school the first couple of weeks or month or so because I get it. But after a while, it doesn’t become a valid excuse for him to keep using his parents as his reason to not go to school or class. Sure, grief is different for everyone, but always saying that he skipped school because his parents passed away was not an excuse anymore. His parents wouldn’t have wanted him to skip school and do all these things. If he was going to do things—his actions—he needed to own them/take responsibility.
I really liked the moment Jamal had with Whit where they did their Carpet Diem day again with Autumn and Q because it was just a fun day for all of them to spend together. And life is about spending time with the people you love. I also liked how Whit had the plaque Jamal took out of the tree where his parents crashed, and they placed it at the new tree all four of them planted. It symbolized how his parents would be remembered by them. But I thought it was funny when Jamal talked about taking the sign out of the tree, he was like:
“Never forget what?”
(pg. 138)
It means to never forget who they were
never forget the memories with them
never forget the joy they brought.
To never forget.
And when he took that plaque out the tree, I understood why he did so. He was angry that some random people would put something on a tree like some sort of award that his parents won, when really he lost two people he loved deeply. That didn’t feel plaque worthy. But later on I think he realized it wasn’t to embarrass or disgrace his parents, but to commemorate them for who they were, so we never forget—always remember. I’m not sure where in the book it said this, but I remember it said something about how the worst thing to do is forget something or someone. And it’s true. To forget someone and what they meant to you or who they were because it kind of feels like if you forget, it doesn’t matter. But it does. Let us not forget.
Jamal and Autumn’s relationship was also interesting. It was honest.
Autumn just seemed like she took no shiz from anyone and that she had a lot of self-respect in her to know to walk away from a relationship if it wasn’t fair or if it wasn’t honest. And I respected that. But I understood why Jamal had such a difficult time telling Autumn he loved her.
“Other than my sister, I love Autumn more than anyone on this planet.
Which is exactly why I can’t tell her.
Because the Universe is a trained assassin.
And as soon as it’s out there, the second you verify your weaknesses, expose your soft spots, the Universe starts counting down, and then it’s only a matter of time before it stalks and destroys everything and everyone you love.
I know, because I’ve already seen it happen.”
(pg. 48)
He loved his parents deeply and yet the Universe snuck up on him. So Jamal doesn’t want to tell Autumn he loved her because saying it made it real—-it alerted the Universe that there was someone out there whom Jamal loved, and it made the Universe prone to doing something. Or so Jamal thought. And I loved the way Justin a. Reynolds wrote the Universe as a person and the whole metaphor he gave because sometimes saying you love someone is hard. Saying you love someone makes it real. When you love someone and they know it—-when the Universe knows it—-it feels like it has even more power to throw it back at you and to make it hurt more. A lot of the time, I hear people say they love this person or love that, and there’s nothing wrong with declaring your love for someone or something, but people tend to throw around the word love like it means nothing sometimes, when it means everything. I know for me it’s hard to tell people I love them because I was also hurt by someone I thought I loved, but they didn’t. Or their actions showed they didn’t. And I think of the Wizards of Waverly Place episode where Mason told Juliette he loved her and Alex had this whole crying on the couch scene and then Mason came to see her, and she talked to him and was like, “I turned my brother invisible, but she never told someone she loved them when she didn’t.” And yes, I remember this episode and the lines because I am a Wizards of Waverly Place fanatic 🤪. But I felt what she said there. Because I also don’t tell people I love them if I don’t mean it. But Jamal loved Autumn, but he was going through a lot of hurt with the Universe to tell her he loved him. If only Autumn knew why he had trouble telling her he loved her, I think she would have understood why. I would have understood why.
So I really appreciated when later on in the book they revisited this question of if Jamal loved her and how he asked her if she never felt loved by him. Because sometimes people need to hear they are loved, while others show their love—the love languages and all.
“The absence of four words didn’t mean the absence of love.”
(p.g 53)
But in the end, Jamal not telling people he loved and cared about them, pushed them away from him because, honestly, why would you spend time or effort on someone who doesn’t want to be with you or who loves you back? And that’s why Q walked away from Jamal because he grew tired of trying everything he could and it still wouldn’t have made a difference to Jamal. And Autumn walked away from Jamal too for a bit because she wasn’t going to force him to say he loved her when it wasn’t true. And sometimes, not telling people you love only hurts the people around you who love you because they want you to let them into your hearts and life, but if we are not going to let them, eventually they will not stand at the door of our hearts, they will leave to find other hearts that will let them in when they knock. This is a sentiment I felt really grew throughout the book in how Jamal started to let people in more and he learned to heal from his parents passing in letting people in, in taking ownership for his wrongdoings. And that is such a beautiful thing—growth.
“‘With her free arm—she flings another rock—but attached to me, she can’t get the same velocity, the same arc, and it just barely finds the water.’
Which, sorry, but uh, can you say metaphor?
Sure, you might seal faster, farther, alone.
But what was the point of accomplishing anything if you had no one to share it with?
Whether you plunked into the middle of the lake or you barely cleared the edge, you were in the water.'”
(pg. 174)
This whole book was Jamal’s growth as a person as it was about love. I also liked the conversation between Jamal and Autumn about their future in how he didn’t know what he wanted to do in his life, but everyone else knew. He also felt like to Autumn he was holding her back from going as far as she could in life just because he didn’t know how far or where he would even go. But it is true that even if you don’t know, or you just dip your toes into the idea of the future, that’s still being in the water with people who are far ahead. But at least you’re there. I also think Jamal’s hesitation and reluctance to think about the future came from having many things taken away from him that he didn’t want to focus on a future that wasn’t certain in his eyes. But when he talked to Autumn about a future plan, it warmed my heart because he was finally thinking about what he wanted to do with his life because he felt it could go somewhere—that he could be something.
“‘So, how do you know when it’s time to stop grieving?
When it’s time for our hearts to move on?
I thought it was when the loss stopped hurting so bad.
When breathing stopped being so hard.
But the hurt-intensity isn’t letting up.
My heart isn’t ready to ease up.
I guess it’s like having a physical injury and asking, how does your body know when to stop hurting?
We don’t get to decide.
We wait.
And while we wait, we maximize our time.'”
(pg. 455)
Justin a. Reynolds, from the bottom of my heart, make a poetry book because I will buy all the copies!💛 My HEART. He just has such a way with words and it makes my heart swell.
Sadly, we will all experience loss in our life. We will all grieve, hurt, and feel pain. And sometimes it feels like it won’t get better or that it will hurt less, but it does get better with time. It’s kind of like when you get an injury. Your body doesn’t give you a set date that on December 12, you will magically be healed at 4:52 pm or whatever. No. The body works its magic and heals over time with grace, love, and kindness. And the same thing goes for mental health and for grief. We don’t choose a random date or time when we stop feeling the things we do, but we give it time—we wait. And in that wait, we do not sit around in our chairs or beds (but sometimes we do), but we get up at one point and live. Because that’s all we can do. To live and live with the memories of our loved ones—to never forget. To maximize our time with the people we love, doing what we love, and the time we have.
“‘Contrary to what you think, we aren’t born to sit and wait for the bad stuff to happen. We aren’t born to die. But . . . but it happens to all of us. And what that means is we’re going to lose people along the way, people that matter a whole lot, people we can’t imagine living without. We die, Jamal. And it’s okay. You can talk about it. We can talk about it. Otherwise it’s gonna eat you whole, man. Instead, we need to be living the best we can. Without fear, when we can help it. Without anxiety when possible. And carrying as little grief as humanly possible, okay? . . . Because it’s awful wondering when you’re gonna finally succeed and blow up into a gazillion pieces. because your pieces are great. J. . . They are. You are alive. And it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s great. Let it be great.'”
(pg. 239)
I swear, I’m waiting for the poetry book 💛🥺. So beautifully said.
Because we can’t wait around thinking everything bad is going to happen to us or living with that fear, anxiety, regret. We have to live as best as we can doing as best as we can. And that means, yes, having moments of fear, anxiety, and regrets, but not letting it control or ruin our lives to where we self-sabotage or self-destruct out of those negative emotions. That is no way to live a happy or full life. If we constantly think of the negative and the bad and hold onto it because we’re so scared to actually live, we will miss out on actually doing that—-living. Live well. It’s okay to want to live well with all the pain or grief you feel. You are alive. And that is okay. Let it be great. I also can’t stress that enough.
“Because duration—-how long a good thing lasts—is never the point.”
(pg 240)
and
“‘The only thing worse than loving someone so much? Telling them.'”
(pg. 48)
It’s all about enjoying the good things while they last and knowing that you lived it as best as you could.
Jamal and Q’s friendship was truly the other highlight of this book. At first, I wondered why they weren’t friends anymore and what could be so bad that Jamal would blame Q for his parents death? I thought for a second that Q literally *you know* his parents and that’s why Jamal blamed him 😵. But no, it was less morbid 😂. Q was the one who called the dad the day of the accident so he could wish Q’s parents a happy anniversary when it wasn’t even their anniversary (wrong date). And in Jamal’s mind he placed blame on Q because if Q didn’t call his parents, his parents would still be there. And I get it. Jamal was hurt and he wanted to blame someone, least of all this dad, but I think solely convicting himself that his best friend killed his parents wasn’t fair to Q, especially when Q didn’t even know why Jamal was mad at him until years later. I give credit for Q still reaching out to Jamal to understand why Jamal just shut him out one day, but Jamal owed Q an explanation for his behavior. Because they sounded like the best of friends.
“We were better than blood because we’d chosen our brotherhood.”
(pg. 28)
I mean, they built a treehouse together, they grew up together, they had this whole Janucy TuberOne together🤪. We love a fake YouTube moment! 😂.I was literally confused though what Jauncy was when they first used the word because I thought it was some cool slang I didn’t know, so I literally Googled it. Little did I know it was just Q and Jamal’s name together 😂. I felt dumb! But that’s okay, jauncy does have a meaning in the Urban Dictionary. Did it make sense to what Q and Jamal talked about. No 😂. So I was like, “oooooooooh” when I realized jauncy was their ship name—their broname.
Their videos were cute. I would definitely like, comment, and subscribe 😂. But it’s sad how their friendship ended so fast and so hard. And how Jamal wasn’t even there for Q when his dad was ill. Like Jamal should have got his head out of his butt to realize he wasn’t the only one who lost someone or something.
“There comes a point when, no matter what they’d done to you, you couldn’t justify continuing to treat someone terribly.
There comes a point when it’s no longer their problem, only yours.
And you could forgive and heal, or you could keep clutching that hurt, like a hot coal against your chest.”
(pg. 123)
Truer words have never been spoken.
The way Jamal treated Q came to a point where it wasn’t justifiable because Q moved on from the way Jamal treated him, and in the end it was Jamal who was still living with that toxic anger and hurt and it was making it harder for him to move on and heal. And it’s like letting the hot coal burn on your chest because it will always anger and hurt you if you do not learn to forgive and heal for others and for yourselves. Because that anger becomes yours one day and not someone else’s problem—-the anger and hurt becomes you.
The night at the beach with Q was kind of confusing to me because I had no clue why they were so angry at each other, but it became clearer later in the story. But it was a very heated scene and such a powerfully sad scene to read how two brothers were so angry at each other that they wanted to beat each other up. When Jamal found Q in the water? Such a vividly written scene that gripped my heart. And when Q took another breath on the sand, Justin a. Reynolds!!! Stop giving me false hope! 😩 And then the whole scene with the ambulance and begging Q to wake up, gosh, my heart 🥺. Gosh, if I were Jamal I would have felt like not being able to save Q was my fault. That’s heavy guilt to live with. But it’s even heavier to know that the last words you or moment you have with a person was in anger and hurt and things were still unresolved. Then the hospital scene with Ms. Barrantes (Q’s mom), the mom made that ache hurt more. She just lost her son.
Then they get taken to the Center where they can reanimate people, kind of like a video game where a person gets a second chance. But this scenario was that the Center could bring people back for weeks or hours to give a person more time to say goodbye to their loved ones and to live the last weeks, days, or hours to the fullest. It’s such an interesting concept, entirely different from the do-over concept of life. But honestly, it was kind of weird to think about too because it made me question how they were going to do it. Like was Q just going to come back to life one day and everything would be fine until it wasn’t. Or was it going to be a dream-scape thing where they visit Q in his dream world and they live out their last days with him? I didn’t know. But it sure was interesting.
But when Q came back to life? Gosh, that was Frankenstein-esqe if you ask me? I would have been FREAKED the heck out if I was Jamal watching Q trying to reboot himself back to life. With Q back, it was Jamal’s chance to make amends to his brother because life is too short you know. And Jamal really went ham on his speech to Q when he apologized, and I don’t blame Q for his reaction to Jamal 😂.
“When you leave someone, even if you see the error of your ways, even if you apologize profusely, it doesn’t matter. They don’t owe your forgiveness. They don’t have to take you back.”
(pg. 221)
That’s beyond true. When we apologize to people, they don’t owe us back. They don’t owe us an “I forgive you,” even. Because that’s not for us to decide how we want them to feel when we have done the hurting and leaving. The best we can do is say our part and let them decide how they want to feel or what they want to do with the things they heard or know. And if that means not taking you back or letting them into your life, then we all have to live with that/their choice. Because we made our choices once too. And they have the right to make a choice that is best for them too. So I liked how Justin a. Reynolds included this in the book because apology doesn’t always mean forgiveness or reconciliation.
“The truth is you can never truly make amends for the hurt you cause; you can apologize, you try to atone, at best the scars lighten but they don’t disappear.
You live with the pain that you pained someone.”
(pg. 395)
There’s also a lot of truth in this too. Because sometimes we tell the truth or be honest about our hurt we felt or the hurt we’ve done, and no matter how hard we try to make it right, it may never be enough to make it entirely better—the scar will always be there. And sometimes, we just have to live with the fact that we pained someone else—-we hurt someone else. It’s kind of like the saying how you may be a villain in someone else’s story and sometimes we might not realize that. But we are, and we have to live with that and do better by the people in our life.
But Q did decide to let Jamal back in because they were both hurting from something in their life and they wanted to move past it. And the whole letting go of anger, hate, and regret—-a value Q’s dad instilled in him—-helped with Q’s forgiveness. It’s a sentiment that we should instill in all our children. But being Q’s friend again felt wrong to Jamal if Jamal was keeping one of the biggest secrets from him—-Q had passed away.
And it became this whole contention with Ms. B because she didn’t want Q to know so he could live his last weeks out to the fullest without grappling with his existence. Then they were all thrown for a loop when Q fainted and his timespan went from four weeks to 48 hours.
“Every minute was invaluable.
Every moment needed to be maxed.
We say spending time because time costs.
No moments free.
Every second, a price.
(pg. 306)
FREAKING CHILLS! 😆.
Because time is valuable and we need to make the most of it. And much with Q’s situation, and life itself, every second is valuable and it is a price. We have to live it to the best and most.
Against a raging Ms. B, Jamal told Q the truth of his reanimation, which I felt like Q deserved to hear not because of what they didn’t want or what they wanted him to hear, but because it would have been what Q wanted to know.
“When you’re talking about someone’s life, I don’t think you should hang your hat on what you want.”
(pg 308)
I really liked the switch of POVs after Q round out because it was interesting to know his reaction. Gosh, I would be stunned if I were him and just kind of freaked out. Q really needed that time to himself to understand. But what teared me up was when Q went to his dad’s gravestone and brought him flowers and he had this whole monologue talk with his dad about making room for him up there 😢. And how he missed his dad and how he wanted his dad to show him the ropes—-that he was coming. And I swear, that wrecked my heart.
Q took all this information in stride If I’m being honest, and he really is the epitome of a good person.
“I mean, I died trying to do what I thought was right. That’s not nothing.”
(pg 339)
Q was a hero and I admired it for him—-for being selfless enough to save someone besides taking care of himself. That is great strength. The whole story of Mr.O’s daughter, Amarí, who was out at the beach in the water, was kind of a random story, but it connected well because out of all people, Q saved her and Mr. O was the founder of the Center to reanimate people. So it gave Q a second chance to make amends and to live. So his heroicness did not go unnoticed or appreciated.
What I really enjoyed abbot Q’s POV was his heart-to-heart with his mom 💛. He just needed some alone time with his mom and to joke and laugh and love and it was beautiful. It truly was.
Then we went back to Jamal’s POV where he told Autumn the truth about Q after he fainted. But I respected Jamal for not telling Q’s story because he felt like it wasn’t his story to tell.
“Maybe the lesson from all of this is, sometimes what we see as broken, isn’t. And our fix is the thing that breaks it.”
“I just wanna atone for my mistakes. Is that so bad?”
“It’s not. It’s the opposite. But the best way to make things right is to ask the person how you can. And then follow through on that. You’re only helpful to someone if what you do actually helps. Otherwise you’re just making yourself feel better and that’s what ice cream’s for.”
(pg. 370)
I LOVED that. Because yes, Jamal and Q made up, but it’s not so much about making up because you want to live with the peace of knowing you made it right (although there is that too), but it’s about taking us—ourselves—-out of the picture and what we want the other person to feel or what we can do for them. To not make ourselves feel better for our guilt, but to rectify a situation to make the other feel loved, appreciated, and mattered. It’s something I think about a lot too when I do something and if I do it to make myself feel good or the other person feel good and I need to remember it’s not about me. It’s about them and what I can do to make good on my actions and words to be better for them and to help them in ways I can.
I liked how everyone was on board—-literally😂—-to make Q’s dream of seeing Kendrick come true (his favorite comedian). That was Q’s dream. And Jamal went ham on making sure it came to fruition—-everyone did and I was happy they got a spot at the show and that Kendrick talked to Q. Q’s sign had me like 🥺 and Jamal’s sign had me like 😂 “Obvious much?” Honestly, meeting Kendrick seemed like a let down because he didn’t seem as cool and forthcoming in person as I would have liked for Q. But he made up for it when Q got to do a set on TV. I was proud and happy for him.
He got to live out his dream with people he loved supporting him 💛.
The last moments with Q on the beach were truly ethereal and beautiful. I loved how everyone got a turn talking for at least an hour with Q to share last thoughts or memories. And when it was for Q and Jamal, gosh, GOSH 😭. Where’s the Costco pack of Kleenex when you need one? They just had a very wholesome conversation about life, about old bands, videos they made, and jokes they had together 😢. Their hug? Their real hug? Priceless. It was touching and priceless because Jamal wanted to hold onto Q for as long as he could 🥺. And Q’s whole speech to everyone about how he would miss them and how he was mad he wouldn’t get to be a grandpa to impart wisdom in the future to his kids or grandkids 😢. I could not. And then Jamal was like, “We all got you.”😭
Just hug your loved ones tight everyone.
I liked how Justin a. Reynolds gives peace to Q and doesn’t make it even sadder and painful to read. But Q was loved and remembered and always will be.
Life went on as much as it could, the grief still there. But I think it’s just beautiful that they got more time with him, little as they thought they had, but they got to say goodbye. They got to live life with Q in his final hours. They gave Q a chance to live his dream. They were there when Q reanimated and left. They would always be there for Q in life and in love.
Jamal writing letters to Q to cope with his grief made my heart warm because he was learning to handle his grief in a healthier way in a healthier outlet. And I appreciated that. I also loved how he Whit named her baby with part of Q’s name, which I thought was fitting ☺️.
Jamal also watched the Jauncy video they made in New York when they went to Later Tonight to meet Kendrick. And it felt like I was reading/watching an old video of them back in the days as friends. But it was recent and it was sweeter. There’s something melancholy and touching that Q took on Jauncy by himself for years when they weren’t friends and now Jamal was going to carry on the Jauncy name and legacy too.
“Chess player: Okay, umm, would you rather live forever and be liked but never loved or live for a short time but be really, truly loved?
. . .
Q: Yo, if I got the choice to lead the life I’ve led, or start over and live forever but even slightly differently? Honestly? I’d choose this. Knowing everything I know now, I’d still choose this life. Exactly the same. Every time.”
(pg. 469)
Which one would you choose?
And I think what Q said, a lot of times we imagine ourselves living a better life and there’s nothing wrong with that. We think of if we had a life where we were famous, where we were rich, where we were skinnier, or where we had a nicer house. In those moments, I think most of us would choose that other life. I mean, it’s hard not to think about what if. But deep down, we have so much we can appreciate in our lives. We don’t need money, riches, or fame to be happy or to lead a happy life. And as much as TV and the social world will make you feel inadequate in thinking about a life spent without much external things, life isn’t about tangible things. It’s about the connections we share with people—to share life with people we love. It’s about doing what we love—-our passions. And it’s about making ourselves happy and choosing happiness, forgiveness, and love. So despite our fantasies, look around you. Look within you. Trust me, you have all that you need within your sights and within yourself to live a happy, purposeful, and beautiful life.
And life can be hard. It is full of complex emotions like depression, anxiety, grief, heartache, regret, etc. but
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” she says.
I shrug. “How come the more people say that the less true it feels?”
(pg. 179)
It will be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Because trust me, I have had soooo many people tell me everything’s going to be okay and I doubted them all the time. I still doubt them sometimes. But behind every doubt or every okay is a secret truth that it will be in time.
Time heals.
It doesn’t feel like it, but have you ever looked at the hardest, most painful moment in your life and not feel proud of how you have grown or what you learned?
“I guess sometimes it takes great loss to generate great gains.”
(pg. 341)
It truly does.
This was such a beautiful, remarkable, heart-felt sorry of love, life, forgiveness, and grief.
And there are no other words to express that 💛.
If there’s any lesson I want you to remember each day, live well, live in each moment and appreciate it. Take risks safely, take chances when you can. Be honest with yourself and those around you. Be kind to yourself and those around you. Spend time with loved ones and know when to forgive or move on from hard situations or people. And appreciate this life and what you have.
What was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? Would you want to be reanimated and why? If yes, what would you do ?Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
4.87 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: Jamal was hurt and was hurting others in the beginning, but over the course of the book, he learned to forgive and let love in, and it opened doors for other things to heal in his life. I also loved Q and what we got to learn of him, and it would be fun to get a pre-story book of Q and Jamals friendship 😉
Plot: Grief and fogginess and love and life = a book that everyone needs to read and cherish
Writing: Sunning, a poetic-like ethereal beauty of truth, honesty, love, and life
Romance: Not a romance book, but this story definitely has a lot of love to give
