December 2019 Quote: Present Happiness

“I’ll be happy when

I’ll be happy if

I’ll be happy where

I’ll be happy

And if or becuase

No.

I’ll be happy now

I’ll be happy today

I’ll be happy here

I’ll be happy

No ands ifs or becauses

Be happy.

– happiness is present

– floweringpages

Dear you, I used to think that being happy was something that came naturally. I mean, it used to always be and feel that way when we were younger, right? Just simple days of eating ice cream, playing outside, not having to stress about writing a ten page paper—–life was simple. And I think that’s why parents try to give kids the happiest childhood they can because once they hit adolescence and adulthood, things become harder and life can suck sometimes. I just feel like being young, you’re so happy or you romanticize it as being such a happy time compared to all the pain or hardships you feel now.

Isn’t it just weird how happiness works that way?

How at one point it seems like you were always happy and it was so easy to feel that and the next day, it’s gone and you’re in this bad headspace.

Happiness is fleeting.

But it’s always there if you look for it in the right ways.

I’m not saying every moment will be a happy or good moment, but there will be good moments and you have to trust in that.

I used to think that my happiness as a teen had to be fulfilled by a man or by waiting for some distant future that I thought would make me happy.

I would be happy if . . .

I had a boyfriend.

I had money.

I had fame.

I had more friends.

if if if if if

when when when when when

where where where where

NO NO NO NO.

Because happiness is fleeting, but it shouldn’t be something you wait for each day. That’s not going to make you happy. Waiting for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, more money, fame, more friends, a dream job you want—–isn’t going to make you happy because you’re stuck there waiting for something that you don’t know is even going to happen or even when it’s going to happen. So why would you put yourself through that heartache and pain to wait for happiness to come when you can be happy now.

It’s sooooooo hard to be happy and present and I completely understand that.

But if you’re thinking you will be happy because of a future expectation or dream, know that that’s not going to fulfill you as much as you can find peace and love with who you are, where you are, and why you are in the moment. Know that you have to live each moment enjoying it, loving it, finding the good in it because once you do that, you will find happiness.

You will find it because you are living it.

You will find the joy in talking to people because they are present with you. You might be thinking, why don’t I have more friends or what if this or that? But catch yourself and tell yourself to be present and to relish in the company around you. Sure, everyone would love to have more friends and people in their lives, but be grateful for the ones in your life already. You will find so much joy to that.

You will find happiness in where you are right now if you think about it in a positive light. Maybe you’re like me and you’re college dorming and it’s a dark, isolating time. Trust me, I DON”T like college dorming whatsoever because it is hard, but I learned that I have to dorm based on my situation, but to find the good in it. I’ve been telling myself that this is my growth period to be independent and to learn about myself and to take care of myself. Sure, I would love to be home in my own bed with my family and to not feel alone everyday, but I have to trust in the process that this is the place I need to be in order to grow and be the person I have to be. I can say that it hasn’t and isn’t easy to dorm, but I do see it as a way where I have learned to be independent and to take care of myself mind body and soul. Maybe you’re not happy in the places you’re at and you need to change scenery, then that’s fine because you should never just be stuck completely in an environment that’s not making you happy, so change that for you. Do what you have to do or feel what you have to feel in order to be happy where you’re at. That can be physically moving to a place that brings you peace or finding a happy mindset that allows you to feel that peace.

Do what you have to do to be happy.

I’m someone who’s single as a pringle and has always been. I used to think I was going to happy when I had a boyfriend, but gosh knows that’s not it 😂

And that’s not it for you either.

Because being in a relationship will make you happier, but it won’t give you that initial happiness that you’re looking for.

That my friend has to come from you.

I know, it’s hard to be happy by ourselves sometimes, but find what makes you happy and what makes you feel less alone whether it be reading, hanging out with friends, volunteering, journaling, writing, blogging, exercising, or listening to a podcast. Find what sparks joy and go do that for you because you can’t wait for a man or a woman to come save you and bring you the happiness that has to come from within. Because if you do just that, you will never find it right now.

And as I’ve gotten older, I realized that that’s so much more important than what I used to want to be.

As a teen, I used to crave to be good “enough,” to have that boyfriend that would make me happy, to have the straight A’s that would give me status, to have so many friends to feel loved, to be super skinny or have flawless skin like all the girls I saw on television. I wanted all these extrinsic things to fill my life up because I though that that was what happiness was—-something people gave you and something you waited for.

But now, that I’m starting to see that all I want is to be genuinely happy and to be the healthiest version of myself—-intrinsic things I can do for myself.

I now just want to be happy because life is so complicated already that at the end of the day, if I’m smiling from the pain or smiling from the joy, then that would be worth it because I would be happy. I wouldn’t be pinning over someone, a dream, a image of myself or a life I want that will make me happy. I would be smiling because of the moment I was given to grow.

So live in the now.

Find the happiness in the now.

And stop waiting for it because you only have this moment.

I’m not saying that it’s not natural or that it’s not okay to at least be curious or to think about the future because that’s what we do as people; We imagine all the things that can be. It’s good to be curious and to wonder what the future holds for you in whether or not you do find someone to share your life with, you do get that dream job, house, car, or whatever—-it’s good to dream and wonder. But when that wondering is attached with an emotional expectation, that’s when we need to step back and reassess our dreams. We can still have that dream, just don’t tie an emotional expectation to it because when you do that, you set yourself up for that mindset of again, of I’ll be happy when or I’ll be successful if. Think of the future more as, “I wonder who I’ll marry,” or “I’ll wonder if I’ll ever get that dream job,” because when put like that, it’s so open ended to the point where whatever you feel in that future, will be yours to feel.

Don’t reserve your happiness for a later day when the perfect time is now.

Be happy.

Be happy.

Be happy.

Be now.

I hope you find all the joy you are looking for and so much more,

And as always, with love,