Betting on You By Lynn Painter Book Review

“One minute we were just coworkers who irritated each other, and the next she was putting her hand in a f***ing urinal for me.”

(pg. 308)

About

Author: Lynn Painter

Genre: Young Adult Romance

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Other Lynn Painter Book Review

The Do Over (coming soon!)

Synopsis

When seventeen-year-old Bailey starts a new job at a hotel waterpark, she is less than thrilled to see an old acquaintance is one of her coworkers. Bailey met Charlie a year ago on the long flight to Omaha, where she moved after her parents’ divorce. Charlie’s cynicism didn’t mix well with Bailey’s carefully well-behaved temperament, and his endless commentary was the irritating cherry on top of an already emotionally fraught trip.

Now, Bailey and Charlie are still polar opposites, but instead of everything about him rubbing Bailey the wrong way, she starts to look forward to hanging out and gossiping about the waterpark guests and their coworkers—particularly two who keep flirting with each other. Bailey and Charlie make a bet on whether or not the cozy pair will actually get together. Charlie insists that members of the opposite sex can’t just be friends, and Bailey is determined to prove him wrong.

Bailey and Charlie keep close track of the romantic progress of others while Charlie works to deflect the growing feelings he’s developed for Bailey. Terrified to lose her if his crush becomes known, what doesn’t help his agenda is Bailey and Charlie “fake dating” in order to disrupt the annoying pleasantries between Bailey’s mom and her mom’s new boyfriend. Soon, what Charlie was hoping to avoid becomes a reality as Bailey starts to see him as not only a friend she can rely on in the midst of family drama—but someone who makes her hands shake and heart race. But Charlie has a secret—a secret that involves Bailey and another bet Charlie may have made. Can the two make a real go of things…or has Charlie’s secret doomed them before they could start?

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To those we bet on,

I’ve slowly but surely fallen in love with Lynn Painter’s writing this year 💗

I recently read The Do Over, and my gosh, was that just a book I needed to read when I needed to read it. Also the The Do Over just such an easy read in a very difficult year, and sometimes it’s books like The Do Over and Betting on You that make you believe that you are not alone in such a world full of heaviness, or when the world feels like heavy. I think it’s books like The Do Over and Betting on You that reminded me why I always gravitated to written word when I have ran out of words to say to describe situations I am in or when I feel like reality is something I cannot cope with. I am very glad I found both books.

If I’m being quite honest with myself, I haven’t wrote a book review in more than half a year, and it scares me going back into writing knowing just how much life has changed since I last wrote something here, and how much I feel like a very big piece of myself fears I lost the part of me that knows how to string words together in a coherent sentence. But here I am going to try.

Because what is life is not doing what scares you?

And what is life if not the greatest bet of all?

Bailey is someone I highly admire because she balances the delicacy of being Type A—organized, detailed, intelligent—with every amount of spunk, boldness, and brazenness. And I love that.

I mean, girl has some sass in her class 😅.

I love a sarcastic queen—my type of humor.

I don’t know, she just surprised me because everyone thinks that if someone is Type A or very much a rule follower, that they are very dull, boring, or have no backbone. But Bailey was the exact opposite of what people would think of someone like her, and that just reminds us as people to not make assumptions based on who people are.

Bailey is someone who I also could highly relate to as a child of divorce.

Bailey’s parents were newly divorce with her father living with his new girlfriend in Fairbanks, Alaska, and her mom in Nebraska. Bailey was to move in and live with her mom in Nebraska, uprooting her entire life from her father and friends to a new place she didn’t really want to be and with people she didn’t really know.

” . . . but every blink of my eyes held back a weighted homesickness for the place and the memories I was leaving behind.”

(pg. 1)

I completely understood how Bailey felt not only as a child of divorce, but as someone who also had to move recently to somewhere I didn’t really plan on being with people I don’t fully know either.

When my parents divorced, divorce was like Voldemort—-something you didn’t really talk about. You kept divorce hush hush as if it was some Mafia secret. My parents divorced when I was in eighth grade, and it’s never just a random spur of the moment decision, but years in the making of a final explosion where things end in that fatal fracture. I will always remember when and why my parents divorced, and it can be a very harrowing experience, depending on what happened. It sucks.

Divorce truly and utterly sucks. From a kids perspective.

As a kid you are fed this idea of a nuclear family—-parents and kids—and when that image is burned in half, you almost feel cheated from the experience of a “normal” family. You feel like everything you knew or what you felt was sacred and safe is gone. Your whole life changes quicker than your life fell apart or was hard in the moments that lead to such a rupture. Just like that. And it hurts. It’s painful to see the very people who brought you into this world fall out of love for some reason you might not fully understand at the time, but all you do understand is that you are no longer going to be the same family but on the inside you are holding yourself together on the illusion that maybe, just maybe, your family won’t actually split apart—that your family will actually make it out of this disaster. But hope is fickle sometimes, and parents fall out of love and it hurts because it almost feels like you are to blame for why they fell out of love because they were in love before you, so why are they out of love after you?

And Bailey lived with that sense of hurt everyday—wanting some semblance of family again in holding onto whatever family debris she could. That’s something I could feel inside of Bailey all throughout the book because her whole life changed. She left her father who didn’t really reach out to her, which not only sucked, but hurt because her father made her feel like he didn’t care about her. Not reaching out to Bailey also sent this message that he moved on without her like he had this whole other life she was not a part of, and didn’t care for her to be a part of. Considering the situation, I think Bailey loved her father and wanted a relationship with him, but doubted her father’s desire to have a relationship with her, and that made her feel even more wounded that she would even doubt that. I agree that if you are divorced and have a child, you have to be the one to reach out because your kid is struggling no matter how much you think they’re not, and you never want to send the message that you don’t care about them. No message is a message. Reach out.

I don’t blame Bailey for being an overthinker.

Us overthinkers became overthinkers because of the situations we had to overly analyze.

What did I do wrong? Did I say something? What if they didn’t like that? What if I didn’t do this? What if I did that? What can I do to make them feel better? Why do they feel this way? How can I fix this situation? Do they hate me? Are they angry at me? Maybe I did this and they were angry at me?

Ifs, and whats, and whys. All the questions because we had to constantly think to survive situations we shouldn’t have needed to survive but live in. But we think and think and think and think because we ultimately think we did something wrong or something bad might happen. I’m thinking maybe overthinking is a form of anxiety? I’m no pyschologist, but we overthink because we over care.

That’s a sense I got from Bailey—she cared a lot about everyone around her being happy that she never really thought about what made her happy. I could highly relate to that. I also knew that Bailey was a people pleaser who overthought everything not because she enjoyed the pleasure of thinking too much, but because she lost this idea of comfort and security with her parents. And because her parents were so unhappy, a big part of her, consciously or unconsciously wanted to make them happy because when we see the adults in our life unsettled, it makes us unsettled, so she wanted them to be comfortable and okay all at the cost of not really realizing how much that hurt her. Or how much the situation hurt her. Bailey always thinks about how to make her mom happy and what can make her mom feel good, and doesn’t really say how she truly feels because she doesn’t want to anger anyone maybe in fear or losing another connection—a parent; the worst already happened, but she fears worse could happen in angering everyone and then she loses someone else The last thing any child of divorce would want is to lose more love in their life.

Bailey is so focused on making sure everyone around her is okay. But Bailey wasn’t okay. She acted okay, but I know deep down Bailey was not okay.

She wants to be okay.

Making sure others were okay was her sense of being okay.

What she really wanted though was a sense of family—-something whole. Children of divorce never asked for their parents to lose interest in each other, and they didn’t ask for all the changes that came with such a hardship. Yet, they have to navigate all these complex emotions that become the fallout of our parent’s. It’s difficult road to be on—the bumpy road of recovery.

Bailey was more so on a flight.

A flight where she met Mr. Nothing, or Mr. Suck-Face-With-His-Ex-Who-He-Truly-Should-Have-Broken-Up-With-More-Amicably.

No, but truly if I saw some teenagers sucking face in the TSA line, I would have felt uncomfortable too 😅. Like get a room! I would have probably let them suck face in front of me until I became an inconvenience to them or the situation just got so awkward; but I loved how Bailey was like, not today. She said I got places to be 👏🏼😂. I mean, the airport is the last place you should have a full make-out session anyway, not with all the stress of just being at the airport and those TSA lines—-not the time nor the place.

But also like the audacity of Mr. Nothing, he tried to mooch off of Bailey in the boarding line because he “knew” her and he also didn’t want to wait in the back. Like excuse me, so you wanted to suck face in front of her, give her attitude to move, and now you were trying to shimmy up to her to cut in line????!??!?! THE GALL. I’m GLAD she gave him the proverbial f*** off 😂. Like for real. Back of the line.

I found it absolutely hilarious that he sat next to her on the plane. Karma truly is a seat next to someone you don’t like on a long flight.

And I loved how he just kept trying to talk to her to annoy her because he like irritating her, which you know, I’m not for people intentionally irritating someone for fun, but there was something funny about the way Mr. Nothing wanted to irritate her because what were the chances the person who was irritated by him was his seat mate. I loved their bantery conversation about them both being “custody kids” because only teenagers would fly by themselves on a plane because they are going back and forth between paretns. He also teased her for being a rule follower and his version of high maintenance with the way she wanted half a coke and half a diet so she could mix it. Hey, girl knows what she likes and speaks up about it, and if that’s picky and high maintenance, than tough cookies. I also enjoyed their back and forth conversation about how females and males couldn’t be friends because all males want to do is sleep with you. Mr. Nothing gave real cynical vibes and was a hardcore disbeliever in romance because his own parents were divorced. Knowing his parents were separated makes his thinking reasonable, not correct, but understandable.

They meet each other again two years later at a movie theater in her hometown. Bailey was going to the movies her boyfriend at the time, Zack, and there was this huge promposal to a girl named Becca. And guess who did the promposal?

Mr. Nothing-Who-Somehow-Believed-in-Love-Now.

I liked how even after all this time passed, they still remembered their flight from heck together because they made a lasting impression on each other. In that moment of seeing each other all these years later, what I felt really connected them was that one question of how many times have they flown back and forth because that meant Mr. Nothing cared about how she was doing as a “custody kid.” They not only shared a flight, but shared an understanding and that understanding led to an open honesty that worked well for them as the book progressed.

Honestly, I would love to work at Planet Funn.

I mean, if my job title was audience exciter, then sign me up 😂. I mean, can you imagine when someone asks you what you do for work, and you say I’m an audience exciter or something asinine like that? Also, if my job’s vision and mission were fun and belly laughter, maybe I’d be less overly anxious and happier 👉🏼👈🏼 😅. That should be the vision and mission of all companies to be honest—it would for sure boost morale.

Also, I love a theme. It’s comical as it is endearing how everyone at Planet Funn keeps to the space theme with the food, rides, and the way they even speak. I mean, it’s all in good “funn” 😉. Yes, I had to make that joke because it was right there.

I loved that Mr. Nothing worked at Planet Funn as a big FU to his mom’s new boyfriend who told him to get a serious job 😂. Because nothing says more serious than a big a** onesie, jumping on a trampoline for training, and eating planetary pizza like we are in a Toy Story movie.

Working at Planet Funn with Charlie was not what Bailey thought it was going to be—in a surprisingly good way. Because they had history and bonded over their parents being divorced, they had an instant honest connection that I appreciated. Sometimes it can be difficult speaking to new people or just being open with who you are in fear of being judged, but I liked how as much as they joked with each other, Charlie and Bailey never made each other feel weird about who they were; they knew who each other were and appreciated each other for their candidness—-Bailey with her detailed orientation and Charlie with his playful cynicism.

Because they were so comfortable around each other and weren’t afraid to be their true selves, I really loved the banter they had. They were very much joking with such sarcastic humor, but I was raised on Jace Wayland/Herondale, so you know, sarcasm is in my YA blood 🤪. Bailey surprised me though with the biting quips she would throw back at Charlie, and I liked that she had a boldness to her.

I also like to think that Charlie inspired Bailey to be bold because of his lax, I-don’t-give-a-rats-a** attitude.

I cackled when Charlie spoke about the bluntness he would address his parent’s new partners or his parents directly. I mean, gosh, if only I had the guts to be as brash as Charlie in saying, “you’re a shizzy father” to my father’s face. Not like the parents deserve to be called those things, but also I don’t blame Charlie for going off on his parents because I understand his anger. His parents were supposed to be there for him—to show up—so when they don’t show up for him, how could he not be absolutely gutted? Absolutely angry? I would be infuriated and keep that fury inside, and gosh knows that anger turns to bottled up resentment. There’s something so liberating at the idea of saying what you mean, and I liked that Charlie said exactly that. He called his parents out on their shiz and held them accountable; “you made me feel shizzy because you are shizzy.” And they were.

I think sometimes we withhold all these emotions or words we wish we could have said to someone because we don’t want to come across rude, but I also think that sometimes maybe we only hurt ourselves by keeping what we truly feel or want to say on the inside. Sooner or later what we think or feel is going to come out eventually, so why not just say it. I mean, don’t be an a** and be rude with how you speak to others, but be honest in saying that was a hurtful thing or I didn’t like the way you did this because it made me feel that way. If people knew how you felt or how their actions affected you in that moment, there could be an actual conversation that could lead to better solutions than just bottling everything in until the person does the same thing, and the hurt only amplifies. That’s something I know I need to work on—saying how I feel about things—because my discomfort shouldn’t come at the cost of others comfort.

Charlie definitely could have chosen his words better to his parents, but you know, he’s a teenager who’s pi**ed off. I don’t blame him. I admire him honestly for his courage in just being real. That’s something Bailey also admired and wanted to emulate.

Bailey absolutely hated the fact that her mom was dating this new guy named Scott.

Gosh, if you know, you know.

When your parent begins dating someone new, it is like having to walk around with a stain on your pants all day because you don’t have anything else to change into. You just have to live with it for the uncomfortable time being.

Watching your parents date again also just feels almost wrong.

I don’t know if that makes sense. But in my head, it feels like when parents were together, they should be together forever according to every single fairytale, so when parents divorce, it almost feels like they are cheating on who they should have spent forever with even though they are legally not together anymore and it’s okay for them to find someone else. Parents dating again also just feels weird because that person that the parent is dating is not the parent you are related to, and there’s always that daunting thought in the back of your head that your parent might remarry this person or be with this person forever, and how do you live with someone you aren’t even related to you? How do you become comfortable with someone you don’t even really know? It’s weird. It feels wrong. Not because it is wrong, it just feels like wearing your shirt inside out.

Also, there’s the part of watching your parents date that almost feels painful. It’s painful seeing your parents move on with someone who is not your other parent, even if that parent might have done something wrong to cause the divorce. It just hurts because you’re still reconciling this idea of a “perfect” family, but that idea is nothing but a carcass of broken picture frame that no longer hangs in the same home. When your parents date, there’s also this incessant worry that when they remarry or find someone they want to be with, that you no longer matter. You were an old part of their life, and maybe a part they don’t want anymore. You fear being let go—discarded with that picture frame in the past. You feel forgotten or constantly fear being so. Because where do you fit into their new life? Where do you fit into their new sense of family? Where do you fit with this person you do not know who might have a house you don’t know and kids you don’t really recognize? How do you keep going when everything changes?

These are all questions I had growing up. The last question I constantly ask myself in turbulent moments of my life—a lot more recently.

All questions Bailey asked herself.

Because seeing her mom date this random guy she didn’t really know made her scared and uncomfortable.

Bailey was scared that she would lose her mom to someone and be left behind. Like with her father.

A valid fear.

I wanted to hug her. I could just feel the anger radiating off of her because of her fear because to her, it felt like Scott was stealing her mom from her, and she already lost a sense of family. She didn’t want to lose her mother too. So that’s why having those moments with her mom, whether it was watching movies on the TV from the comfort of the couch or going out to dinner just the two of them, were sacred moments for them. Bailey needed those sacred mom moments to know her mom was there and always going to be there even if the mom dated someone. I think the mom really needed to sit down with Bailey and reassure her that this—the bond they had, the moments just for them—were never going to change. With everything in Bailey’s life that had changed, I don’t fault her at all for fearing that the rug would be pulled out from her again and something new would change. When you live your life with constant change, you’re always on the edge, awaiting the next change knowing its coming. Jump or be pushed. Bailey didn’t want to jump, but she would rather jump than be pushed into changes she didn’t want or didn’t see coming.

Additionally, I believe it was important for Bailey to have those moments with her mom because when your family “implodes,” you do want to hold onto anything that feels sacred and familiar because everything feels like a fresh cut wound. So all those traditions and connections that Bailey had with her mom? She clung to that because those traditions and sacred moments were all she felt like she had left. She already lost so much.

I also thought the mom should have had a boundary with Scott. Not me, talking about boundaries 😅. But really, I believe as the adult in the situation, if she suspected, heck even if she didn’t suspect, her daughter was having a difficult time with all these changes, she should have spoken to her boyfriend to create a boundary that, “hey, these are the nights and time I spend with my daughter and I want you to honor that.” If he really is a nice guy, he’d respect the fact that she wanted to maintain the bond with her daughter. And honestly, Scott’s a grown a** man, he can go eat pizza in his tidy widy’s and his white crew socks for one night by himself. There just needed to be a lot more conversations between the Mom and Bailey about what bringing Scott into their lives meant because Bailey didn’t know. When people don’t know, they fear, they worry, they overthink. They act from a place of fear, and sometimes those actions might not be the best. The mom could have eased Bailey’s fears by communicating with her. I wish someone would have communicated with me when I was a kid, what dating looked like or what their partner at the time meant to them because it would have made me understand the situation more. Adults think kids don’t understand. We understand a lot more than they think we do, truly.

There was also the discomfort part.

I mean, a parent bringing over their partner is bound to be uncomfortable whether we like it or not. However, again, I believe alleviating that discomfort comes in the form of communication and boundaries because, again, people fear what they don’t know. They are uncomfortable with what they don’t know, and again, that leads to actions that might not be the best. All we have to do is communicate. You ever stop to wonder why it is so hard for us as people to be honest about situations when it makes life easier in the long run than beating around the bush? I don’t know, the older I get, the more I realize that communication truly is key. I mean, let’s just talk to each other gosh darn it 😂. For real.

I digress, but ugh. *sigh*

Because Bailey was acting from a place of fear and discomfort, that made her instantly dislike Scott.

She loathed everything about him down to his white crew socks and his flannel tidy widys. But also, like, sorry 😅, if you are a grown a** MAN who’s dating someone who had a daughter–MY GOSH—please please please for the love of everything not stupid, don’t go lounging around in their HOUSE in your flannel tidy widy’s and gross a** socks with your hairy pine tree legs on display acting like you own the place 👏🏼👏🏼!!!!! JAIL!!!! TREASON.

Not to shame Scott, but have the decency to respectful of the situation and know that the daughter is younger and would be PROBABLY be uncomfortable seeing you in nothing but you boxers and socks. Truly. Ask yourself if that would make anyone uncomfortable? If yes, don’t do it 🤦🏽‍♀️. Not to shame Scott or anything, like I get it, you are dating the mom and you are sleeping over, but the daughter don’t need to see all of that.

Like oh my gosh.

This is a delicate situation, ain’t no one need to see your delicacies 🤪!

Not going to lie though, the mom should have told Bailey whenever Scott was sleeping over.

There was that one morning where Bailey went downstairs for breakfast, wearing nothing but an oversized tee. She was so enthusiastic because Bailey believed this was a normal morning with just her and her mom, and the mom said absolutely a 100% nothing about her BOYFRIEND sleeping over and just let her daughter prance around the kitchen clueless and had the AUDACITY to shame Bailey for being half-naked in her own home. I’m sorry?!?!?! Was this not Bailey’s home that she should be able to walk around naked if she wanted to??? My gosh, what happens if she came downstairs in just her bra, what then?

The mom should have said something the second Bailey came downstairs, not the second Scott came downstairs. Again, lack of communication.

It seems like I’m harping on the Mom a lot, and I don’t mean to sound rude to the Mom or anything. I also get it. She’s newly single and dating. She does deserve to be happy and find love again; this is her first time being a parent and her second chance at love, so she’s learning. I’m not entirely angry at the mom because, yes, she’s human and she’s learning on this journey with her daughter too, I just think her communication should have been clearer.

Also, what Scott said to Bailey was gross. Like hold my vomit 🤮.

I don’t give a rats a** if Scott had a daughter the same age as Bailey and he knew what a woman’s body looked like!!! It didn’t give Scott the right to make it seem like it’s okay for him to see Bailey with just an oversized tee. That’s disgusting. He should have been apologetic and awkward as heck about the encounter, and not play it off like it was okay because “I have a daughter your age.” GROSSSSS. PERV 🤧.

I don’t dislike Scott, but for the sake of Bailey, PERV!

“Wasn’t your house supposed to be the one place where you felt at home? Like, relaxed and comfortable? My heart ached with homesickness whenever I thought about the house back in Fairbanks. Not because of the home itself, but because it seemed like a lifetime ago that I’d lived with the wrapped-in-a-blanket comfort of knowing that any given time, the only inhabitants of the place were the members of my family.

No dates, no boyfriends, no coworkers who liked to yell Whoo when they had girls’ night at our apartment. I missed my home being my home so much that I rarely allowed myself to even remember life before the split.

It hurt too much.”

(pg. 76-7)

I felt this to my core.

Home truly should be the one place you feel safe—-the one place you feel like you can land.

Home should be the place where you can fall apart without being judged, where you can laugh as loud as you want, to scream as hard as you can, to wear as little or as much clothing as you want, to do whatever you feel like because you feel safe, you feel free, you feel comfortable. You feel like you.

Home should feel like a heartbeat, a breathe.

When home no longer feels like that, home becomes just a house.

As someone who moved recently and lost my home this year, I truly feel “homesick” everyday, not just for my home but for people who felt like home. Home is a place but home is also a people. Home is connection. When you have people you feel safe, comfortable, and free around, you are home, and what a rarity that is to share a time and space with people in a place that feels like home.

So to have home, the one place on earth that should feel like yours, be invaded by someone you don’t know? Feels like betrayal. Feels like having a stranger walk through your door and settle into your room. I mean, that’s basically what it is.

I know exactly what that feels like—-to live everyday with strangers, with a stranger.

The experience slowly eats away at you until you become a stranger and the place that was home feels strange. Home is a stranger.

You see, one of my parents remarried someone recently, and that person came to live in our house. Truth be told, my parent met this person rather suddenly and married this person within a year. I had no clue who this person was, not my brother, not my sister, not my aunt. No one. And no matter how much we tried to ask who this person was and to get to know this person, we still didn’t know anything. I’ve “known” this person for three years now, and all I know is her name, her work, where she is from, and some of her family members. But this person came to live with us for the last three years, and I had no idea who this person was. Every day, this person and my parent would come “home” and I had no clue who was home anymore. Conversation was stilted, greetings were not present, they were not present. Space felt confining and tense. I saw home slowly wear away into just a house where I lived with my brother. We have been invaded by a stranger.

Things were tough. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to put everything on here, maybe a generalization of my tough year on another post, but there were many things over the years that broke me down in so many ways while living under the roof of a parent who became a stranger and a person who was still foreign to me. I look back and don’t fully understand how I tolerated being under the same roof of people I didn’t know and how made me feel like I meant nothing and that everything I did was a problem when I did nothing truly terrible. I didn’t like being at “home” most days. I would stay late at work because I feared being home. I didn’t want to be home unless someone else was there. My safe haven was no longer safe.

I didn’t know what was home anymore.

And I guess, I didn’t have to keep wondering.

We were pushed out of our house this year because of how strange it all was.

And suffice to say because there’s truly not enough words to describe how heavy this year has been, it sucked. It still sucks.

And so, I feel Bailey. I feel everything she was going through and experiencing because home is the one place you should feel safe and I’m sorry she was starting to feel like home was being invaded. And I know all too well what happens when home is invaded. I didn’t want Bailey to feel like she was losing her mom, and now losing her home.

It sucks.

I wish there was a stronger word for how sucky something is.

Here’s the thing though, as much as I knew Scott made Bailey feel apprehensive, I never truly believed she didn’t like him.

She didn’t like the idea of Scott—-what he represented. Scott meant change.

“I was so mad and also so sad because it felt like I had zero control. I felt like everything was changing—yet again–and there was nothing I could do.”

(pg. 162)

Bailey didn’t like change.

I don’t like change, either.

Would like to thoroughly beat up change, and I’m a nonviolent person.

I would like change to mind its own business and change itself.

But life is full of change—changes we like, changes we don’t like, changes we know are happening, and unexpected changes. Whether we want change to happen or not, it does and we have to live with how life changes.

Honestly, too much change all at once can feel suffocating. And it truly does feel like you don’t have control or a grasp of reality anymore.

I understood how much Bailey detested how she felt and the changes happening around her. Because she was angry at all these changes, she projected that anger onto Scott, hating simple things like his crew socks and shoes because to her, it was easier to be angry and blame Scott then to admit how she was just angry at everything else going on around her. And I get it. I absolutely, 100% get it. I did the same thing when I was her age, and heck, maybe unconsciously I still do that. I don’t blame her for blaming Scott because Scott was a part of the change she didn’t like and he was just on the receiving end of her anger. I also felt in my bones that Bailey truly wanted her mom to be happy after everything and that Bailey didn’t mind the mom finding love again, she was just uncomfortable with how quickly everything was changing, that it almost felt like she couldn’t breathe in those changes—-she couldn’t process the changes. To Bailey, it was like she just moved, and now her mom was dating someone new, and then he was coming over at night, and was trying to act like he was her father when that was all too much.

I didn’t agree with the way Scott would insert himself *gag that I just typed that* into situations that had nothing to do with him and was more so a Bailey and her mom thing. For instance, when Bailey was late for curfew because she was helping Charlie get a home friend safely. It wasn’t Scott’s place to play reprimanding or concerned father because he wasn’t her dad, but in that moment I could see how Bailey felt like he was overstepping by trying to play the part. I also understood that Scott was just trying to show interest and care in Bailey because he cared about Bailey’s mom and wanted the relationship to work, but I also think he should have just let the mom take the lead of how she parents her daughter. I don’t know, it would also endlessly frustrate me if someone who wasn’t related to me tried to act like they had a say over me when I didn’t need to listen to them 🙃. Sorry, but that’s just being honest.

Because Scott was taking up too much space in her life, Bailey asked Charlie for master classes of how to pi** Scott off all the way running back to his little house.

“‘Well, in my opinion, the first thing you need to do is dig deep and find your inner a**hole . . . Just be a di**.'”

(pg. 105)

Not going to lie, teenage me cackled with their whole plan to pi** Scott off 😂.

I mean, I wish I had the gall and the nerve to have done the same thing to my parent’s partners when they were dating. I don’t know, haven’t you ever felt like doing the same at one point? I don’t judge you if you did. I feel like it’s natural because you want to protect what you felt was safe to you, and having a new person in the mix didn’t feel safe.

I laughed with how uncomfortable Scott was around Charlie. Seriously, what was so wrong with Charlie in that initial meeting??? 😂

So Charlie intentionally accidentally called Scott Bailey’s dad and made him feel stupid for being at their house, but hey, it’s not like Scott knew Charlie was trying to get a rise out of him, so why was Scott bristling unless he felt threatened 🤪???? Hmmmm.

Scott just didn’t like that Charlie could see through his cheery facade into how he was coming into their home all of a sudden, and Charlie threatened this perfect image of what Scott wanted to create.

I do give Scott some credit though in trying to be amicable with Charlie even if he didn’t like him. I honestly though Scott would blow up when Bailey brought Charlie on the Colorado ski trip he planned. I was just waiting for Scott to come raging out of that cabin room with a red face. He surprised me with how infuriatingly calm he was being; deep down we all knew he was Pi**ed 😅.

Scott and Bailey’s Mom planned a surprise Colorado ski trip for them to all bond, but Bailey obviously didn’t want to bond with Scott. She wanted Scott to go.

In an effort to convince Bailey to go on the Colorado trip, Bailey invited Nekesa, but then Nekesa got grounded and couldn’t go. So the plan now was for Bailey to drive up there with Charlie, and see what happened 🙃. Honestly, their plan took guts. It was stupid, but gutsy. No mom and definitely no Scott would have liked Bailey to drive up alone with a boy, no less Charlie, and stay for a “family ski trip.” On this trip, Bailey and Charlie said let’s really drive the knife in and pretend to fake date because that really will cause Scott to blow up faster than a volcano. I thought Bailey just going up to the mountain with Charlie alone was going to set everyone off, I didn’t think they needed to fake date. But I guess, go big or go home 😂. I mean, truly, I didn’t think the mom or Scott would send Charlie home and I didn’t think they would be so furious as to lose their cool around Charlie when Charlie did nothing by “show up.”

You know what they say, don’t ask for permission and beg for forgiveness later.

I enjoyed the road trip up to Colorado 💗.

I loved the sense of nostalgia I felt in being in a car, open road, wind screaming in your ear and caressing your hair, good music swaying your body in a lighthearted ease. I thought the gas station bathroom game was hilarious with how they would ridiculously race to the bathroom—-not caring who they pushed out of the way to get there—and see who could get the snacks and race back to the car as fast as they could. Whoever won, would drive and choose the playlist, and no one wants to sit for hours on end in a stuffy car listening to gosh-awful music. Bailey had lost at every bathroom race rounds, and this round, she swerved through the aisles like a linebacker on game day. If I saw a young teenager run in and run out and scream through the gas station, I would have looked at them funnily, but also laughed because what fun. I liked how everyone did look at Bailey funny, especially knowing how she won this round and got to the car, only to do a sort of walk of shame back inside the gas station because Charlie needed her.

Something about Charlie I wish the story explored more was his acid reflux. He took a lot of TUMS for his acid reflux, but I also wanted to understand more about his acid reflux. For me, I had the sense his acid reflux occurred more often whenever Charlie felt anxious. I also don’t know if this is true for Charlie, but I had the sense of being a germaphobe or having OCD? I don’t say this to label as a judgement because I grew up with OCD tendencies and people teasing me that I was a germaphobe, but as a way of understanding Charlie and maybe what Lynn Painter was trying to say about him. But I felt like Charlie was a germaphobe—not in a bad way—because certain situations highly triggered the need for TUMS. Charlie never labeled what he felt or had, but I think if he did or were honest with himself, I think he would say he hated germs.

But gosh, if I dropped something in the urinal at a gas station of all places, my gag reflex would kick in too 🤮.

That’s the absolute LAST place I would want to drop anything in.

Honestly, if there’s one thing that surprised me the most in this book that will probably stay with me is the fact that Bailey actually fished out the keys from a gas station urinal.

DISGUSTING.

I’m joking 😂.

But truly, that’s absolutely disgustingly gross, and she took the task like a champ.

I would never.

What I loved the most about this moment was how this was one of the rare scenes we saw Charlie the most vulnerable—someone who had his humor down and his honesty up. He was scared. Instead of making Charlie feel weak or weird about this moment, I loved how Bailey casually brushed off the situation by making light of it; she knew Charlie didn’t want her to see him as weak, so she didn’t want to make him feel as so. I also liked how she delicately addressed how she knew Charlie had a moment and if he wanted to talk about it, she would be here for him, but also she wasn’t going to push him to talk if he didn’t want to. That’s exactly what Charlie needed from a friend—from anyone; he needed to not feel judged and safe enough to talk if he wanted to. I liked how Bailey gave him the space to be vulnerable and not seen as anything different than the Charlie she knew and loved to spend time with.

I loved how later when Charlie did address how he felt about germs, Bailey treated him the same. Doing so made Charlie feel even more comfortable to be real around Bailey because Bailey gave him something valuable that day—acceptance. That’s something Bailey and Charlie did well with each other—seeing each other’s quirks or things that were real and difficult for them, but still accepting and valuing each other. Bailey has a lot of quirks that are beautiful like the way she deconstructs a pizza to eat it or drinks half of one soda and half of another, or half buttered popcorn and the other half unbuttered. As much as Charlie would joke about Bailey being picky, he never truly judged her for who she was or made her feel bad about herself. Charlie didn’t like germs, and Bailey never truly judged him for who he was and made Charlie feel bad about himself.

When we show people who we are and they meet us with acceptance and care, we feel safer to be ourselves.

And I loved how Bailey and Charlie could joke about the toilet thing later.

“‘I said, ‘I dare you to eat a counter meatball.’

‘Probably cleaner than your fingers,’ he teased. ‘Rumor has it you jammed them into.a urinal today.'”

(pg. 248)

He got her there 😂.

When Bailey and Charlie did get to Colorado, the mom was more ticked off than Scott was.

I understood where the mom’s anger came from because wouldn’t have liked it if my teenage daughter secretly drove up to the mountains with a boy and now was going to spend said weekend with the boy, and hey, the boy was the boy we didn’t like. Hooray. Also, Bailey was dishonest and should have told her mom about the change in plans because now she blindsided everything, and as much as she wanted Scott to be ticked off and to separate the two, I think the plan was rather inconsiderate. But not me also understanding Bailey was just acting from a place of adolescent fear and rage. Teens do stupid things.

Also not going to lie, the mom said harsh and hurtful things to Bailey 😕. Telling Bailey to “spare her” and “that means nothing today,” made it seem like the mom didn’t care what happened to Bailey because she was so upset at her. They were both messing up with each other because they weren’t communicating.

Besides the initial anger of Charlie being there, I thought the Colorado trip was fun and actually pretty sweet.

I liked how Charlie offered to make dinner for everyone the first night because maybe he felt bad about being there and didn’t want to admit it. He maybe also wanted to placate the obvious tension everyone was feeling. The whole goose flying into Bailey’s window in the middle of the night was such an odd, uncalled for scene, but I guess something had to happen for some close proximity 😂. Why not a goose through a window?

Bailey and Charlie shared the downstairs living room area now. I laughed with how they joked about Charlie’s heart pants, and how they did the stereotypical dance of the girl gets the couch and the guy gets the floor, and how Bailey tried to failingly fight his chivalry. I also loved how she knew him enough that he didn’t really want to sleep on the gross a** ground, so she offered to make a bed out of the couch cushions—again, not making him feel uncomfortable for who he was but wanting him to feel the exact opposite.

I also really enjoyed how much time they spent together on the Colorado ski trip from reading in the lobby where Bailey and Charlie took turns reading her (most likely) smutty read. I mean, as a certified bibliophile, how CUTE 🥰. I would like to jokingly read a romance novel with a partner; I would probably laugh the whole time, but still fun. I also liked the endearing moment when Charlie and Bailey were walking through the woods or something, and they saw a cat in the tree. Charlie surprised me in being so gentle and childlike with talking to the cat and climbing the tree to rescue the cat. No one else would have unflinchingly just climbed a big a** tree to save a cat, but he did. I loved that he got to keep the cat and they became best friends. It was just nice to see a softer side to Charlie that actually cared about things because when that part of him came out, Charlie felt softer, more real.

Oh gosh, and you knew that kiss was more than a let’s-pi**-them-off-kiss.

Lynn Painter perfectly evoked the senses of what it meant to be a teenager having a kiss with someone you actually might love—pure chemistry, pure feeling. I love the way Lynn painted this whole scene that made you feel exactly what Bailey was feeling and how her overthinking mind just short circuited and stopped when Charlie’s lips touched hers. I will always believe in how the right kiss with the right person will feel like you are lost in the moment.

I couldn’t believe the AUDACITY of Charlie to suggest they continue to practice kissing just as his humorous way of saying he probably felt what she felt and wanted to continue kissing her. He just wanted to play the kiss off as cool. I thought that was the wrong move. Not only did he come across as insensitive, but he sent her the wrong message of that he didn’t feel anything with her because he wants to practice kissing so he could kiss other people and not just her. If I just had a perfect kiss with someone and they told me let’s practice so we can be better kissers (under the presumption for other people), heck yes I would be more than offended. I would be downright hurt.

As much as Charlie can be very blunt, nonchalant, he hid a lot behind his humor, which we all kind of knew—a deflection. He carried real hurt from his parents divorce as well and he always acted like nothing truly bothered him, when deep down everything bothered him like a blister he couldn’t get out but ignored. It was easier to push down his feelings and play his feelings off because he protected his heart, but at the same time he was ultimately hurting himself because he was closing himself off to vulnerability, to honesty. I also understood how he didn’t believe in the magic of love. I mean, when you have parents who are divorced, all you know is this model of two people who fell out of love with each other despite it all. It’s hard not to not believe in love when the very people you always thought would be in love would be in love.

Also, there’s Charlie’s ex.

He really liked her, heck, he had this whole promposal for her and she broke his heart. If I were Charlie, it would be hard to feel like I could love again. I understand that. But I feel like it’s hard because he was closing himself off to love even more because he didn’t want to get hurt again 😕. That’s a very valid fear. No one wants to get their heartbroken.

But you know, that’s part of life as sucky as that sounds.

We get our heartbroken by people, by places, by ideas, by things.

Our heartbreaks because we have so much love. And what a gift it is to feel that much love for someone and something to be able to have our heartbreak felt so profoundly and us so affected. Yes, heartbreak feels like someone is jackhammering your heart incessantly every second of the day and you can’t breath, but I don’t think we should ever put a steel wall around ourselves to stop that hurt. When we put up steel walls, no one can get in and then we are left with a colder feeling–loneliness. And loneliness gnaws at you more than heartbreak over time. And I wish that Charlie knew that as much as his parents broke his heart and Becca smashed his heart further to pieces, love is worth it. Love is always worth it, even when it feels like it hurts.

Can I say, guys get a lot of shiz for being manipulative and stringing people along, but you know what, I’m going to call out the ladies today—ladies can be just as manipulative and string people along. Honestly, anyone can be manipulative and string people along and that’s not me trying to be rude to anyone, but being honest. Whether or not we realize we are doing it, sometimes we string people along because we like the idea that that person will always be there even if we don’t truly want them or can’t have them.

This Becca chick needed to let go of Charlie and Charlie needed to BLOCK HER 👏🏼!!!!! Tell me I’m wrong!!!!

She needed to stop messaging things like, “Hey, you up?” or “What are you doing?” when she was the one who called it off with Charlie! Make like a truck and move on!!!! Oh my gosh. Let the guy live his life. Stop playing dumb games and messaging him because you like the idea of knowing you had Charlie and you still have him at your beck and call. That’s not fair to Charlie; it’s not fair to anyone you string along. I didn’t think it was healthy for Charlie to even entertain the idea of messaging his ex back, but I also don’t fault him for doing so. He still had feelings for her because he cared about her, so of course when his ex messaged him, he would care. He would be affected. That’s just Charlie—he loved actually kind of deeply. And I loved that. I just disliked how Becca would take advantage of his kindness as to tether him to a relationship that would never be.

Gosh, I wanted to slap Charlie upside the head 😂.

Not because he was messaging Becca back, that’s part of it, but because he also gave absolutely asinine advice to Bailey. You know, Charlie didn’t have the best advice in the world—anger the parentals and text the ex.

He literally told Bailey to message Zack, her ex, to get Zack thinking about her. ***Violently shakes head*** That’s the same game that Becca was playing with Charlie 😫!!! I get it. I get it. Charlie was just giving advice based on what worked for him with Becca, but bro, don’t let her text her ex; if he didn’t appreciate Becca stringing him along, then don’t let Bailey string Zack along. Bailey truly could have done better than a guy who would drunkenly kiss another girl at a party and then instantly date a whole bunch of other girls the second she broke up with him. Give me a L. Give me an O. Give me a S. Give me an E. Give me a R. What does that spell??????

LOSER 🤪.

Honestly!

No guy who actually likes you and wants to be with you would cheat on you because he would only want to be with you. And no guy who actually likes you would instantly date someone else unless you didn’t mean something to him.

He wasn’t worth it. He showed Bailey exactly who he was, and sure there were good moments because there are always good moments, but heck, if he didn’t respect or value her in the first place to not cheat and serial date, then he never really cared and she should drop his a** and do better. Let him swim. Find him find some other fish.

I wish she let Zack go. I did have a good laugh at the way Charlie coached Bailey on what to text Zack to make him think she was flirting and that she was hanging out with another guy. Because, yes, nothing says jealousy more than making your ex think that you have moved on with someone else. Smart, but also dumb move, especially when we all knew she felt more than coworkerly feelings for Charlie.

There would be really sweet moments on the cabin trip and after where Bailey and Charlie would have these jokes or be caught looking at each other, that just felt different. Their looks were loaded with all the things they felt but didn’t want to admit because they were scared. Bailey was scared of letting Charlie know how she really felt because she knew he wouldn’t feel the same—he wouldn’t even dare call her a friend most days. Charlie was scared of loving someone so strongly again and being hurt when they left or didn’t choose him. They were both hiding and deflecting.

Setting each other up with people on a bowling double date? Hard core deflecting.

I loved how both of their dates were more into each other than they were into them 😂.

Talk about backfire. I thought it was cute that at least Dana and Eli were honest with the connection they felt to act on it. I liked how later on we would get more tidbits about Dana and Eli’s relationship like how they had the same birthday. At least Charlie and Bailey did one thing right with unintentionally setting them up. Gosh knows they were also more interested in each other that night.

As much as they could try push their feelings away and try to push Scott away, they couldn’t really deny what was happening.

Scott showing up at that pizza restaurant after Bailey and the mom had a really sweet night of movies and laughter, felt like when Maleficent showed up at Aurora’s christening. He was like surprise, I’m here 😂. No one wanted you there besides the mom, dude, read the room. But the proposal part was INSANE. I could feel the proposal from a mile away. No man shows up unannounced in a freaking suit and starts waxing poetic about how much he had a good time with your family and wants more moments like this if he’s not gearing up to make that feeling last.

I knew that the proposal was going to WRECK Bailey 🥺.

Honestly, seeing someone else propose to one of my parents would wreck something in me.

It would just hurt.

Even if I know deep down that my parents together is as laughable as a monkey in a fish tank, it would still gut something in me to see my parent making a lifetime commitment with someone who isn’t really my parent and will never be in the same capacity. I don’t know. I think it just depends on your relationship with that other person; if the child doesn’t have a great relationship with the parent’s partner, I don’t think they should propose in front of the kid. I believe it will only make matters worse.

“I felt crushed. It was silly, because the world wasn’t ending and no one was dying; people’s parents got remarried all the time.

But I was devastated.

It probably meant that I was an immature child, but every time I though about the fact that my mother was getting married, a heavy weight settled on my chest. It was suffocating, this panic that I had about the life changes I could no longer avoid.

I looked out at the night through the wiper blades moving across the windshield and wondered how long I had before everything started, before the tiny fragment that was left of my family was going to be erased and changed into something new.”

(pg. 343)

That’s hard 😕.

It sucks.

I’ve been there and it sucks.

It’s devastating because it feels like a whole new loss all over again. You already loss this idea of a “perfect family” and now you’re losing the sense of whatever pieces of”family” you had left.

You hold onto the crumbs because you’re scared if you don’t pick up every piece, what was there is gone forever.

No one really understands what it’s like to pick up the crumbs of your family unless you have been there on your knees crying at the world at why you are so low.

I remember growing up this distinct feeling like i had to savor every piece of being with my family when we were a family because I knew one day we were not going to be one. I mean, that sucks to think that I felt that way as a kid, and that I carry that hurt as an adult. I just knew how much I was losing and Bailey and I know what it’s like to feel like we are trying to hard to hold onto the pieces of what’s left because we don’t want to be erased or forgotten like an old frame in the closet. But that’s what happens sometimes.

Not every divorce is harrowing. Change can be good because, yes, it makes way for new connections and new things. But it’s also okay to say that that change sucks and the way it affected me sucks and for it to all around suck for a bit because no one really should have to experience such complicated emotions at that age—-the formative years.

I loved loved loved how Charlie literally dropped everything the second Bailey said, “Can you come get me? I’m in a CVS crying because Scott proposed.” Not only did Charlie unwaveringly told her yes, but he canceled his entire party to go get her because “something important came up.” 🥺 Bailey had to have meant something to him if he dropped literally everything and risked his friends anger to be there for her.

I loved loved loved how literally piggy backed her up the stairs to his parent’s apartment 🥺💗.

“‘What are you doing?’ I asked, not really in the mood for silliness.

‘Giving you a piggyback ride.’

. . . I climbed onto his back, and it felt good. Wrapping myself around Charlie’s big body felt comforting because it was like he literally–and emotionally—had me.”

(pg. 344)

I read in an author’s note version that Lynn Painter wanted to capture the childlike comfort of getting a piggyback ride from a parent when they were tired. I remember reading this sentence the first time around and my heart glowed because Charlie being there and literally lifting her up in her moment of weakness felt like true comfort—-like safety. Charlie truly got her and had her back through many hard moments. I loved that 💗.

You know, I kept wondering throughout the whole book where the living heck was Charlie’s parents?!?!?!? You know, no wonder bro don’t believe in love!!!! His parents don’t even care he was gone and that he had a girl over his house 😖. AWFUL.

I loved loved loved that Charlie distracted her that whole night to make her feel better. I loved how he knew to text Bailey’s mom where Bailey was because Bailey’s heart was so heavy she couldn’t think straight. I loved how he set up this whole blanket and pillow fort in the living room and watched movies with her and had her choose all her favorite snacks.

“I lay there in the quiet darkness of the blanket fort, overwhelmed with homesickness–for him, for her, for the family we’d once been. They’d been divorced for years, yet I still felt this gaping hole of grief as life kept changing itself up on me, kept finding new ways to make me melancholy and wistful.

When was I going to be fine with everything?”

(pg. 350)

I don’t think you ever become truly okay with everything, but you learn to live with the ache.

The ache doesn’t feel so incessant somedays, and somedays, it’s like a pounding all over again. But we endure, we live. We move forward as best as we can.

We grieve.

I don’t think enough people talk about the type of grief you live with when your family separates.

Family break ups are a loss.

Sure, it’s not a loss in the sense most people think about when it comes to loss, but you lost something.

That loss is real.

That grief is real.

That’s a grief I carry with me many days, and that’s a grief Bailey will carry too.

I still feel angry and like I’m missing something some days. Some days, I’m okay because I know that my parents weren’t meant to be together. Other days I mourn for the girl who wanted a sense of family and never really felt like that came easy. And that’s valid. I never really thought of what I felt as a homesickness, but gosh, does it ever feel like that most days.

Homesickness.

I feel like I’ve been homesick my whole life, and more so recently. Genuinely,

I’m so homesick for a sense of home and family that I ask myself if I’m going to be okay so much.

Not only do you feel a lack of a home, but a place in your heart that never will be fit the same.

It’s hard.

I wanted to hold Bailey too when she got a message from her mom and her dad asking her if she was okay and telling her that they loved them 😭. I was crying for the younger me who felt every bone in my body break and every piece of Bailey’s heart.

There’s something about a message from your parents that is meant to comfort you in a heavy time that always makes your emotions feel like they are at an apex. You are already on the edge of your feelings, and when that one hand that reaches out to you—your parents, the hand you want to reach out the most—it feels like permission, a safety to step back and break. A safety to not entirely fall. Bailey started to tear up after seeing those messages because she wanted so badly for her parents to care for her and comfort her that when they finally did, there was an amalgamation of peace, hurt, sorrow; her parents were the reason for her pain, but she also wanted their comfort to know that things would be okay.

When Bailey started to sob in that moment, Charlie said that he should have woke him up so she wasn’t crying alone, and then he held her 😭💗.

I’m sorry, get you someone who tells you that they would rather have you shake them from their sleep so you aren’t alone in your sorrow 😫.

That’s so sweet.

I loved how he was just there for her in her time in need 💗.

Also, they shared such an intimate kiss that was so beyond being coworkers that Charlie just needed to give up this ruse that girls and guys couldn’t be friends. I loved loved loved when Charlie was honest with her in saying he had more than coworker feelings for her. That was a lot for him to admit because he was so stubborn in his belief and would rather eat acid than admit they were friends, so to say he felt something more for her was huge. I mean, he could have meant he felt like she was a friend now, but we all knew he cared so much deeper for her than friendship.

I don’t think a friend drops everything for you in that way, goes on a freaking ski trip with you, and kisses you with such passion if they didn’t want more.

OOOOOOH, but you know, I was SOOOOO Team Charlie this entire book because he’s so much sweeter than anyone gave him credit for. Gosh, it was giving I-hate-everyone-but-you and grumpy-sunshine, but going on a freaking RUN the morning after and leaving her a note to let herself out like she was a freaking DOG, made me want to COMBUST 😡.

I WAS INFURIATED.

What. An. IDIOT.

They had such a beautiful, intimate night, and he RUINED it.

***SHAKES MY HEAD***

Charlie was literally running away from his feelings because he was terrified by how much he liked Bailey and didn’t want to be hurt again. You know what was even DUMBER was the fact that he straight up avoided her and ghosted her 😳. OH MY GOSH, my blood is boiling just thinking about it.

What the heck?!?!!??!

I would have been P**ed to the rooftop if a guy was soooooo sweet to me like that and then literally left me a freaking note and didn’t talk to me for days and switched his whole a** work schedule because he’s a coward to approach me because he can’t face up or own his feelings. Be a man 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼!!!!

She needed her friend and he couldn’t even do that and be there for her.

OOOOOH, the whole drama after Charlie ghosting and avoiding her was tea 💅🏼.

When working together, Bailey and Charlie would play games.

They would try to guess what a person would get from the vending machine or who would take out the trash like it was an adventure. But there was a big bet they had in secret—-that Bailey’s best friend, Nekesa would hook up with her childhood friend Lucas. Nekesa had a boyfriend named Aaron who she was in a steady relationship with, but upon working at Planet Funn, she reconnected with her friend Theo who went to a fancy private school. If I’m being honest, Nekesa and Theo did seem very flirty and I could see why Charlie wanted to bet a wager on the idea that they would hook up because “guys and girls can’ be just friends.”

I appreciated that Bailey was on team Nekesa and didn’t think she would cheat, and that Bailey wasn’t fully into this bet. I did think that Bailey entertaining the bet throughout the book was kind of unkind as Nekesa’s best friend, and Bailey should have said something more to Nekesa in terms of being too flirty with Theo. If Bailey didn’t even take the bet seriously, telling Nekesa that from her perspective Nekesa was being flirty, would have helped the situation deescalate. I would want my best friend to tell me if I’m being too flirtatious with someone; please slap me in the head while you’re at it.

So it was no surprise when Nekesa went to Bailey and said that Theo kissed her and she let him just to see if she had feelings for him. Nekesa regretted the kiss instantly, and told Aaron who was reasonably upset and broke up with her. I don’t blame Aaron because he trusted his girlfriend, but also Nekesa didn’t initiate the kiss. But she also didn’t fully stop it or stop Theo from feeling led on. Many people were at fault here. I just really appreciated the guts Nekesa had in telling Aaron what happened when it happened because her honesty highlighted how much she truly valued Aaron. Sucks, that it had to get to that point.

I didn’t like the way Bailey pretended as if she didn’t know that Nekesa and Theo had something going on and like she didn’t have a bet with Charlie about her infidelity. Bailey should have felt awful.

Charlie should have felt like a real jacka** too 😂.

Oh my gosh, the GALL, the absolute GALL of him to play nonchalant with his usual flirty, don’t-care attitude at Eli and Dana’s party was STUPID.

He couldn’t just expect things to go back to normal when they weren’t and they obviously had feelings for each other. So to play off his avoidance as nothing was more hurtful.

“I knew this would happen,’ he muttered quietly, almost under his breath.

‘Knew what would happen?’ I barked.

‘This,’ he said, looking agitated and frustrated. . .

‘This didn’t happen because we were friends. This happened because as soon as we shared a real moment, you freaked out and disappeared.”

(pg. 379)

Do you feel that?

That wound to the chest?

Because SHOTS WERE FIRED 🤧.

It’s hilariously ironic how sometimes we fear the thing that will hurt us and we end up acting out of fear and hurting anyway.

Charlie didn’t want to lose his friendship with Bailey out of fear, so he reacted out of fear by backing away and in the end he hurt her worse and lost her anyway.

I’m glad Nekesa found out about the bet because she deserved to. It sucks the way she did find out, but I’m glad that the truth was out there because Bailey should have been a better friend to her.

But ooooh, but when Theo started talking about the bet Charlie and him made??? That was the final blow.

Charlie and Theo also had a running bet the entire time.

Their bet was that they thought Bailey was too uptight and tightly wound and that Charlie could “get” Bailey as if she were a toy at the store.

I could only imagine the absolute knife in the chest feeling Bailey felt at that moment. What was real? Was he ever her friend? Was the whole Colorado trip a lie because he was just trying to get her? Did he actually ever like her or was that part of the bet?

It’s hard to not think in that direction when someone makes a bet about winning you over.

Bailey not only had her heartbroken that night, she lost two friends. One of them was fair, the other one was hurtful, but I guess she wasn’t a fair friend to her other friend either.

I guess, karma is a stupid bet.

Bailey didn’t really have anyone in her corner after the fallout.

I wish she did because dealing with divorce things and remarriage things are tough. She shouldn’t have felt like she experienced all of that alone.

“It was more like seeing a curling photograph, a soft reminder of another time in my life. I could smile and picture it, but I didn’t feel that desperate desire to fly back immediately and resume my previous life anymore,”

(pg. 386)

Her father started texting her again.

I wish that they had more of a conversation about why he stopped or how that made Bailey feel because as much as it was nice that the communication started up again, I believe Bailey deserved an explanation. A phone works two ways, and the dad’s the adult in this situation. He should have reached out sooner, and not only when he knows his daughter is going through a tough time; she’s been going through a tough time.

Surprisingly, one of my favorite parts of this book was the honest conversation Bailey had with Scott.

Bailey was going through a lot of changes with having to move into Scott’s big house with his daughter she didn’t know. That’s uncomfortable.

Bailey is much stronger than I am and I give her so much credit for the bravery she had to have to move houses so soon after moving and to go live with essentially two strangers who her life will be forever melded with now.

But there was a conversation she had with Scott—a conversation they should have had sooner—about how Scott never wanted to change her life and overstep. He knew he would never be Bailey’s dad because that’s not his role, but he just loved her mom and wanted to spend his life with the mom. And sometimes you just can’t help who you fall in love with and the situations around it.

What I liked was how Scott related to Bailey in how his parents also divorced when he was about her age. I think when Scott related to Bailey, her guard went slightly down because that meant he knew how hard this must be for her. I liked how he explained how actually he had been dating her mom for a year and they waited months to tell Bailey because they wanted to help her adjust with the idea of him and living in this new place. Scott even waited a year to propose because he didn’t want to change her life drastically so soon. I liked how he respected the mom and Bailey’s timeline and waited a year to even come over and make himself comfortable. I appreciated how the mom and him waited a year to make Bailey feel comfortable, but I do think they should have told her the truth sooner because then she would have understood and maybe give Scott more grace because at the end of the day, Scott wasn’t a bad guy. He tried so hard to connect with Bailey, get to know her, make her feel comfortable. Sometimes he was weird and a little bit forced in trying to get to know her, but he was trying because he knew. When you know what an experience is like, I think you handle the experience with more care in the future or with others.

Once Scott told Bailey all of this, her walls were gone because she didn’t know how hard Scott tried or how much he did. She would always be partially uncomfortable because that’s just natural with remarriage and blended families, but she understood him—they understood each other. They needed that.

Bailey was still adjusting and she might not have loved the situation, but she would learn to be okay because he mom was happy. I liked that she wanted her mom to be happy at the end of the day because she loved her mom.

I believe Nekesa and Bailey needed more of a conversation than the one they had when they reconciled.

I appreciated how Bailey let Nekesa come to her when Nekesa was ready to speak to Bailey. But they needed to really hash it out about how much Bailey’s actions or inactions hurt her, even if Bailey was on Nekesa’s side. Bailey should have been a better friend and not even entertain the bet. I liked that they were friends again though; Bailey needed a friend. If I’m honest, I wish Nekesa was mentioned more throughout the story being a friend. I feel like Nekesa was just viewed from the bet’s perspective with Theo, but I wish we could have seen more friendship moments.

The formal was the only time I truly felt we got Nekesa and Bailey friendship scenes, besides maybe the beginning when they were in the café, spying on Zack.

I loved loved loved how Bailey and Nekesa were at this dinner, and Aaron basically groveled Nekesa to get back together. Zack should take some notes because that’s what should have happened if he really wanted to be with Bailey 🤧. Not this serial dating, shiz.

I love a dramatic moment, and Charlie literally fighting his way into this dang formal was drama.

I laughed with how he had this garbled rush of words as his apology because he knew he made a mistake by making this bet and ghosting her because he was scared. I would have liked a more in depth perspective of how Charlie got to the grand gesture—-his thought process towards going to the formal to give his whole speech. We had Charlie perspectives and I felt like we could have used them more towards the end in building up the grand gesture. It was SOOOO sickeningly sweet how Charlie was literally going to give Bailey the cat he found because he loved the cat, but he loved Bailey and if he gave up the cat to her, it meant he would never disappear from her life again because he would constantly visit.

Karma is a cat 🤪.

The sentiment was sweet.

The idea was ridiculous.

I also loved loved loved the constant callback to the airport where they first met and didn’t like each other because the airport was a pivotal, memorable moment that they probably would tell their grandchildren about; the airport story held prosterity.

So can girls and guy’s be friends?

I think it’s better if girls and guys become friends first because you know what they say, the best relationships are built on friendship; marry your best friend. But I genuinely believe that—the best relationships feel like friendships. With a friend you feel like your safest, your most you, and you should be with someone that makes you feel safe to be yourself—-the weird, the heavy, the happy.

Charlie and Bailey were the best of friends, and that’s why they worked incredibly well. They had similar humor and they had unflinching honesty. I just really liked how their connection didn’t feel disingenuous or instalove, but built over time based on banter and spending time together and learning all these things about each other—-to be known is to be loved. Their texts were hilarious though because they had good humor. Gosh, I need someone with good humor.

Overall, the bets are all off when it comes to Betting on You because I knew this story was going to be brilliant 💗. Lynn Painter just beautifully captured the authentic feelings of someone experiencing big life changes and like you can’t control what is happening, what it feels to overthink and people please, and the experience of being a child of divorce—the anger, hurt, confusion, and control. What was so captivating about this book was Bailey though in all her messy, relatable, and beautiful honesty that emphasizes the balance of change with levity.

Anyway, what did you think of this book? What was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part?

What is a specific thing you you do that others might find odd? I think for me is that whenever I eat sushi, I take off the nori and eat it separately and then I eat the sushi part and rice separately—almost like how Bailey deconstructs a pizza, but I deconstruct a sushi. Weird, I know 🤪.

Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Overall Rating

4.87 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: Bailey surprised me in being someone who is equally parts intelligent, but also brazen and sassy, which was so fun to read because she pushed back with Charlie and he needed someone to push down his ego. Charlie was a complex character I wish we could have heard more from in terms of his growth and story. But I liked how he was someone who felt deeply, but hid that under his humor.

Plot: Classic YA gold 💗 with an authentic, messy, relatable story for all ages.

Writing: Lynn Painter knows how to capture a feeling and bring you back to a time where you were a teenager, falling in love or experiencing huge life changes you didn’t want happening. There were many moments where I felt like Lynn encapsulated exactly how I felt as a kid and how I am feeling in some moments as an adult, and it’s words like hers that remind me why books are so powerful—words have the power to connect.

Romance: I love banter and I will cry on the hill that is friendship to lovers being top tier 👏🏼! Or is it enemies-to-lovers-to-coworkers-to-friends-to-lovers?? 😂 Either way I would cry on that hill.