Again, But Better by Christine Riccio Book Review

“Becoming a writer is like . . . being lost and just hoping to god you stumble to your destination.”

(pg 364)

About

Author: Christine Riccio

Genre: Young Adult Fiction Contemporary

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Synopsis

Shane has been doing college all wrong. Pre-med, stellar grades, and happy parents…sounds ideal—but Shane’s made zero friends, goes home every weekend, and romance…what’s that? 

Her life has been dorm, dining hall, class, repeat. Time’s a ticking, and she needs a change—there’s nothing like moving to a new country to really mix things up. Shane signs up for a semester abroad in London. She’s going to right all her college mistakes: make friends, pursue boys, and find adventure! 

Easier said than done. She is soon faced with the complicated realities of living outside her bubble, and when self-doubt sneaks in, her new life starts to fall apart. 

Shane comes to find that, with the right amount of courage and determination one can conquer anything. Throw in some fate and a touch of magic—the possibilities are endless. 

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To those wishing to do things again, but better,

I’m going to get sappy with this review because I just have sooooo many emotions!

First, I just want to talk about the overwhelming pride I have for Christine Riccio in becoming a published author! I have watched her Youtube videos since I was in middle school and I’m going to be a sophomore in college, so to see how far Christine has come is just beyond amazing. She is the exact definition of someone who had a dream and made it a reality. She is my inspiration through and through and someone I aspire to be. Gosh, I’m babbling! I should just become a Christine Riccio fan blog at this point 😆 But in all seriousness if you watched her video diaries of her starting this journey and her ups and downs, you would understand how hard she worked on this book and how much effort she put into it. And it really shines through in her book because it’s greater than I imagined it to be.

You know it was weird at first reading this because I’m so used to watching Christine on Youtube, but to sit down with a book with a her name on it and not see her, but hear her, was just a weird experience in the best way. Not in a creepy way, but that’s the other thing I want to talk about.

When reading this book, the thing that really made me smile was how much of Christine I could feel in the writing. It’s so different because if you watch her videos, you know Christine in a way—not fully know her, but know her personality and things—and that really came across to the voice Shane had, and I LOVED it! I loved how everything about the book was bubbly, energetic, and gosh darn hilarious!

Literally the first line of the book was, “I’m leaving the country because I have no friends.” I kid you not, I choked out a laugh and put the book down. 😂 Then I reread that line again because there was something so sad about it, but also so relatable that it just made me laugh. It’s definitely a first line I’m not going to forget.

The book started off in the thick of it all with Shane on a plane (no rhyme intended) to London where she’s beyond scared. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But she was also excited because this was her second chance to do “college right” after having done it wrong for the last four years by going back to her dorm and always studying. Then Shane created this whole list of how to do college wrong, and I felt attacked. I was doing college wrong 😅 YIKES! The list was just very real and to feel the things Shane felt at the beginning of her journey. Well, on this plane ride, she met this mysterious woman with a birds nest of orange hair and who reprimanded Shane for her list of things she wanted to do in college.I thought the woman was funny, if not a bit nosy. I never knew we were going to see her again.

Shane is a major klutz. I feel like if there’s a villain in this book it’s chairs or any stationary object that gets in Shane’s way. From the get go, it’s hilarious how Shane just kept tripping and falling and hitting her head on tables and falling or knocking back chairs. Gosh, the CHAIRS!!! Shane vs. a chair, who do you think is going to win? 😆 I think 2011 Shane would lose, 2017 would put up a good fight.

There was something highly likable about 2011 Shane (not that I didn’t like 2017 Shane). 2011 Shane just seemed more hopeful, optimistic, and truly like a puppy exploring the world for the first time.

I loved how Shane and Pilot went grocery shopping and took a nice walk to get there. I would totally be like Shane in almost getting run over by forgetting that in London they drive on the other side of the road. One of the things I liked most was the little details about the cultural differences between London and America. I liked how Shane was flabbergasted at bagged pasta and two flavors of sauces. I loved how she would look for the street signs, but then discovered they were inside the buildings. I think that’s kind of cool, but weird (not in a bad way) because if you’re outside and you’re looking to go somewhere, you would have to go inside a building to see if you’re going the right way.

I really loved the conversation Pilot and Shane had on the walk back from the grocery store about her blog, which was called FrenchWatermelonNineteen 😂 I was rolling on the floor with laughter! PolandBananas20? FrenchWatermelonNineteen? Coincidence, I think not! I just loved loved loved that tidbit because it was so Christine and it was so Shane. And I also loved the whole explanation of why she named her blog FrenchWatermelonNineteen like how Christine made a video back then about why she named her channel PolandBananas20/books to everyone who asked her why the name 😅. Pilot asked Shane at one point why she never changed her name and Shane responded because it’s a part of her brand and how people remember her, kind of how like how I don’t think Christine would change her channel names because it’s a part of her. Honestly, the names stand out in a good way—unforgettable.

Another scene I enjoyed was when they went on a mission to find cards because Shane wanted to do this whole floor three bonding thing. When they walked around London again, I felt like I was there walking along with them, seeing things for the first time as well. I loved how they went to Starbucks and Shane tried to order all these “typical American” drinks like a pumpkin spice latte or a matcha green tea, but they didn’t have it. Shane felt highly cheated. And I loved how Christine had to include match green tea because you know, it’s Chrisitne 😄 But again, it was interesting to hear about those cultural differences. I also enjoyed the moment when they walk into the Beatles themed store and both of them lit up in the best way possible. While in the store, they find these cool Beatles Russian nesting dolls and of course the cards that would bond floor three to be even closer.

Everything seemed to be all rainbows and sunshine—-just perfect between Pilot and Shane. And it did seem perfect and cute. She was literally falling in love in London with a cute guy she met over the kitchen sink— a girl’s dream come true.

WRONG!

Because Pilot had a GIRLFRIEND!!!! 😳

I could not.

I mean, he was leading her on!!!!! You don’t make goo-goo eyes, laugh, and offer to go with another girl for the fun of it if you know you are in a committed relationship. But Pilot really brushed the whole girlfriend thing off because they were on a “break” and “seeing where things were going” aka, they were in troubled waters doomed to sink. If a boy is just clinging on to you from another country and nothing is for sure, there’s a good chance he might move on. Not a bad thing for Shane, but sad for Amy, said girlfriend. But, tsk, tsk, Pilot shouldn’t have kept that from Shane and tried to initiate something more with her. In my opinion, he should have just broken up with Amy that night he was almost going to kiss Shane to fully devote his feelings to understanding things.

That would be way too easy. So we had to keep the girlfriend around. UGH!

Speaking of friends, let’s talk about the flat three friends. I just loved how Shane “left the country because she had no friends” and now here she was with her own family of her creation with Babe, Sahra (because we had to have one person in a fictional book with a hard to pronounce name 😂), Atticus, and Pilot. I loved the kinship they had and how they would go to the club together, play cards, and eat shawarma together for shawednesday’s. As a person who has never ate a shawarma in her life, I had to legit pause and search what a shawarma was and where I could get one; for every time a shawarma was mentioned in this book, my need to try one grew. Instead of their being a french toast on the special edition covers, I think there really should have been a shawarma.

I also liked how her friends planted this idea of traveling around Europe. Shane just thought she would be in London and dream come true—that was it. But she realized that there was more to London to see, so her and her flatmates decided to explore all the beauty Europe had with a trip booked each weekend. And it’s honestly such a good way to spend a weekend. I enjoyed the trip to Italy where they paseds by all the amazing tourist sites that most people hear about. The motel they stayed at was funny in how Pilot and Shane had to share a room with an older 45 year old man and a younger teenager they didn’t know. I also loved how Shane would get up before Pilot would so she could be all full glam so he wouldn’t see her. Every time she did that, I just wanted to take Shane by the shoulders and tell her you don’t need to hide yourself, you’re beautiful the way you are! The shower scene with Shane having to press the button every 45 seconds was also hilarious.

One night, they all went out to eat at this fancy restaurant where Shane got ravioli—I’m thinking Shane’s the type of person who knows what she likes to eat and eats it all the time, I’m like that too–and she has wine. Then she realized the next day she left her purse with her passport, her money, and most importantly her chapstick in the restaurant and they didn’t open until three in the afternoon. Shane completely flipped her pancakes and I would flip mine’s too. Her whole life and identity was in that purse and the whole time Shane’s freaking out, she kept thinking of how she would be stuck in Italy and her thoughts spiral out of control, which kind of gave you some insight into Shane in how as much as she’s usually peppy and happy, she’s a normal human being who has anxieties and worries with thoughts that go to the worse case scenario. And feeling all of that, Shane felt like a failure and like everything she did was a mistake and I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her it would be okay. But I was happy Pilot was there to do that—be her light in the storm. He was able to get her to see that she shouldn’t just sit outside the restaurant all day when they were only in Italy for two days—-that she should be out there living instead of worrying. Slowly, Shane agreed to do so because she didn’t want to be the buzzkill to everyone’s party and she so she goes to enjoy the rest of the day. If Pilot wasn’t there to convince her to let her worries fade to the background, I bet Shane would have stayed there and stewed in misery for nothing because her purse was there and everything was fine. But like with Shane’s great enemy the chair, I think the purse was her other thing she had to look out for. I mean it was just her luck she would leave her purse at a restaurant, yet alone have her purse tried to be nabbed one night when they were all out. And I thought she was ridiculous for wearing her crossbody bag under her shirt 😆

My favorite side trip they had in 2011 take one was the Paris trip with Chad, Babe, and Pilot. I loved when they all counted down for the Eiffel Tower, hoping that something happened after the wait. And I loved how it was described that the Eiffel Tower looked like “Tinker Bell threw up all over it, and [that it was] having a sparkly seizure.” I could just imagine what the Effiel Tower looked like from things I’ve seen online, but I bet it looked truly magical in person. This sparkly magical feeling that Shane got from seeing the Eiffel Tower reoccurs throughout the book as Shane and Pilot’s relationship develops more.

My absolute not favorite part of London trip take one was the other impending drama hovering in the background. Shane had lied to her parents about what she was studying for study abroad. She was premed all throughout her college life, but when she saw a writing program that studied in London, she took two big chances that day: lying to her parents and exploring a different career path. From what I gauged about Shane is that she’s a very family oriented person even if her family doesn’t treat her the best. I totally understand that. Everyone will always love their family regardless of how they treat you, and Shane loves her family and all the good moments she’s shared with them from eating together and from the card games. It just makes you understand that she has a very big, forgiving heart, which really goes with Shane’s other quality I picked up: she’s a people pleaser. So she always goes along with what other people do to please them—-never truly doing what she wants to happy as long as other people are happy. And I totally understand that—-wanting the people around you to be happy and not really caring about your own happiness. Sometimes it can be hard to recognize when we put other people before ourselves and it’s okay if we do, but at the end of the day, we must all realize it’s our lives and we have to live it for ourselves. All the times that Shane would think about premed and the MCATS and doctor things, I just wanted to tell Shane that you should do what you want. Her dad literally hovered over her when she was choosing her degree to study and said that she couldn’t “waste” money on writing because it’s not a stable job. As a parent, I can understand the mom and dad’s concern because writing isn’t the “norm” of what a job is, but honestly, the parents shouldn’t have been so restrictive and down on Shane for something that she was passionate about. The mom was highly misguided because I think she displaced her dreams of being a doctor to Shane and could only see her daughter as a way to achieve what she dreamed of before she had Shane. So in a way, I think Shane felt this overall guilt that she had to be a doctor because she took that dream away from her mom—a people pleaser. Her dad just wanted Shane to not waste his money and his time—be the good obedient daughter—and he was so narrow minded in what he deemed as a successful career. Because both parents were so adamant about their dreams for Shane’s future, they could never see that there daughter was never happy because she wasn’t living for her, she was living for them. AND I FELT HORRIBLE FOR SHANE!!!

There was this one moment in the book that completely stuck with me because it was the most genuine thing I felt in my heart.

“‘Growing up, whenever I hurt myself, he’d stop everything and make me a chocolate milkshake with a slice of watermelon on the glass because it’s my favorite. And then as I got older, he started making them whenever I was feeling sad. It sounds silly, but it always makes me feel a little better. He makes them now when I come home on the weekends from NYU.’ Because I always come home sad.”

(pg 168)

When I read this, I just had to pause for a second to catch my tears.

As someone who started college her first year this year and who has lived a life similar to Shane—–going to school during the week, studying, going back to the dorm, and then going home on the weekend—–I just knew where she was coming from in her sadness. I truly do. And I can’t write this without tearing up a bit, but I guess this is a review and I have to be honest. So here’s my honesty: sometimes it feels like when I’m at school for the week, I’m not really living my life, but it’s like I’m away for work. When I go home for the weekend with my family and my house, it just feels like life is on play again and I can try to live as much as I can because during the week it’s all about studying for me. But even when I go home, there’s always this part of me that’s angry or sad or confused because the whole week when I feel alone, I feel like I have to lift my own spirits up and be my own happiness when there is no one there for me. When I’m home, I think maybe part of me is just tired of being completely happy for myself, so I let other people be happy for me while I just feel sad or angry or whatever. Because I was—-and sometimes—–am sad. And it’s not how I want to feel and it’s probably not how Shane or anyone wants to feel. I just think going to college, being away from home, and doing what doesn’t really make you happy is physically and emotionally draining that sometimes it just leaves you sad.

I was sad when I read that.

And I know for Shane, it came from a place of not doing what she loved and feeling the need to always make others happy before ever making herself happy.

When she was away from her parents and had the interview at Packed! and that writing class, Shane was literally glowing from the inside out because she was for once in her life doing something that brought her true intrinsic joy and something that gave her passion and inspiration. When she saw her future with writing, she looked forward to it. But when she would see her future with MCATs and doctory stuff, all I could feel from Shane was this sense of dread, tiredness, stress, and anxiety. I could feel how much she didn’t truly want to live that life. So I loved that Shane was having fun in her wiring class and thriving in her stories and I loved that she was making a name for herself with the people at Packed!

But the parents had to go and come and ruin a lot of things for her. And the icing on the cake, Amy showed up too! Life did not cut her a break! I was in pieces for Shane, I truly was.

Pilot was so nice at the dinner, trying to interrupt Sahra who couldn’t take the hint to shut up—gosh I was mad at Sahra, but I couldn’t blame her.

But the dad went off!!! 😤 I wanted to go off on the dad because gosh, her dad had the ACUTAL AUDACITY to do that in public with the yelling, the cussing, and the throwing and smashing of the phone!!! What a DRAMATIC son of a pie hole! I detested the dad with every fiber in my being for being so condescending, so vile, and horrible to his only daughter. Like wake up and stop yelling at her enough to see that she doesn’t want to be a doctor!!

After that, the flat three mates were so gentle and patient with Shane, knowing she was going through a hard time. Her cousins weren’t that helpful and her parents were ignoring her. They really could not get their heads out their butts to realize that their daughter’s happiness should come before their own. If I’m ever a parent, I will make sure my kids happiness and dreams come before my own. All parents should.

Feeling guilty for everything, Shane quit her internship at Packed!, which devastated my heart because she loved being there. She was like a ball of sunshine in her element whenever she was there and the fact that she gave it up just so that she could make it up to her parents and be on track for what they wanted for her, broke my heart. Broke it I tell you.

You know what also broke my heart you ask? You didn’t ask, but I’m going to tell you anyway.

The way things were left between Shane and Pilot.

Pilot never broke up with his girlfriend and can I mention that this said girlfriend has no sense of privacy whatsoever and read Shane’s Horcrux journal! If I was Amy and I saw a journal in an apartment that wasn’t mine, I would have left that DARN thing A-L-O-N-E because that’s none of my or her business. Suffice to say, things were very dark and dreary in Shane’s life. You could really feel it—the mood of the book changed along with her. And with the end of the semester drawing to a close, they never really confronted their feelings for each other and they had their flat party before leaving and it was cute because it was the last good moment between all of them before they left their separate ways. But the thing that got me was when Shane was heading to the airport and had this revelation to make a big move and turn back to take a risk.

And like in every rom com, Shane rushed to the flat, shouting Pilot’s name and in my heart I was like, he’s not there. HE’S NOT THERE!!! UGGHHHH! But Shane didn’t know that, so she kept looking through the flat and she kept calling his name and he wasn’t answering. Then she Facebooked him to ask him if he was there and he didn’t answer and my heart fell ten thousands stories in my chest. GOOOOOOSHHH! SHANNNNNNEEEE!!!!!

Without her man, and a heavy heart went back to the airport to confront the utter heck of her life that she had to live out now. To make it worse, her cousin Leo was there to pick her up because her coward parents weren’t mature enough to see their own daughter at the airport. I cringed. And what happens the next day? FREAKING PIOLT FINALLY ANSWERED HER MESSAGE!!! She could have been shot, bleeding out in that flat, messaging Pilot to come save her, but he would have been a day late because he wouldn’t have answered!!! 😩 That didn’t happen, but if it did, PIOLT would have been late! But of course, in typical rom com fashion he had to play it cool to reply later to not seem too eager to talk to her again.

Sucks, they didn’t talk to each other face to face until six years later.

I didn’t expect a time jump in this book. But it went from 2011 to 2017 in the blink of an eye.

2017 Shane really pegged me as tired, uninspired, and lackluster.

This Shane has a longtime boyfriend named Melvin who she felt comfortable with but not in love with. She graduated top of her class with high grades and is doing interviews for medical programs. Does she love it? No. But the questions that the interviewer asked—–what shape would you be or what flower are you—– were utterly ridiculous. It’s not like doctors ask their patients, so what shape do you feel like today? Or what flowers do you smell? I don’t know Dr., maybe I feel like a big blob circle or a triangle. Or a petunia or chrysanthemum. What’s your diagnosis for that?

What I did know was that Shane didn’t love her life. She was content—- just accepting of her life and how it was the way it was. In a spur of the moment decision in this life, she decided to go to the building Pilot worked at to see him in person. They go have coffee at this pretty exotic (in a cool way) coffee shop that has this mysterious elevator at the end of a black hallway. I thought the whole ambiance of the coffee shop with the book pages was pretty cool.

I was very proud of Shane that she had the guts to confront Pilot like a mature adult about their feelings in the past. I think Shane really wanted to visit him that day to get some closure—-that she imagined everything that sparked between them. But what she got was more conflicting feelings and heartbreak because Pilot did like her back then but was with Amy and still was.. So as much as Shane and Pilot could have worked something out in the past, it wasn’t entirely Shane’s fault because Pilot was dealing with things on his own. In fact, when Shane asked him if Amy was the one and if he was happy, Pilot got all angry and defensive because he wasn’t happy and Amy wasn’t the one for him and deep down he knew that, but he didn’t want to change anything in his life because he was scared that if nothing worked out, he would be lonely and to him that was worse than taking a chance. So he didn’t want to dig up those old feelings of hope that he had with Shane. And it just broke my heart to pieces when Shane was like “So—why didn’t something happen?”

I ask myself that everyday 😆

I’m joking. But if they really loved each other and were meant to be, there would mend things and something would happen.

And you know what happened?

They got stuck in a darn elevator because that red haired woman was there. There was a high key part of me that thought what if that’s Pilot’s mom because Shane never met her and Pilot never saw the woman before. I was beyond wrong. She was their spirit guide fairy godmother of sorts.

While they’re in the elevator though, Shane and Pilot talked about this running game they had about if they could go back in time and they said they would go to a Beatles concert together, to the Constitutional Convention, but the third was never finished. Until that moment when Shane was like: “I think my third would be January 2011.”
Gosh, my heart just wilted for her. She would go back to make something happen between them when she avoided it last time or when she missed Pilot when she ran back for him.

And what do you know? Wish granted by her fairy godmother who makes the elevator drop it like it’s hot! I would have been terrified 😳

So Shane and Pilot go back to 2011 just like Shane wished for and it was like a big reverse 13 Going 30 moment where she didn’t have a clue what was going on. Pilot was beyond livid and take one 2011 Pilot was always so calm, cool, and collected, so to see him have any shred of anger in his demeanor and his attitude was so different from the person we got to know in the first part of the book. I could understand why he was angry because he thought Shane was pulling some sick joke on them and then when realization set in that this wasn’t a sick joke, I think part of him was frustrated because he had to relive the last six years of his life and he didn’t know what to do. I mean, what do you do? And it was the year that he met Shane and had a lot of conflicting feelings and hardships that he went through with his family that he didn’t want to experience that again. But he didn’t need to take his anger out on Shane and to blame her for something because as much as he was surprised, Shane was surprised to.

Pilot was very hard to get to in this 2011 take two because in his mind all he could see was this reset button they had to look for. I found it hilarious how they would just be living an doing the same things they did during take one, but this time Pilot was scavenging for a button every chance he got. He turned over the whole apartment and everything looking for a button he didn’t even know looked like. He also really wasn’t enjoying this second chance because of his anger, so he wasn’t participating in flat three activities.

There was one moment I enjoyed where they all go to the bar like last time and talk about going to Rome for the weekend. Then they all hold up their cups and cheered. When Shane put down her glass, there wasn’t a loud thump noise like past Shane would have made, and Pilot smiled because he noticed that little tidbit in how the glass made a “soft landing,” which I thought was cute. It was there past inside joke. There was also the joke where Pilot asked Shane if she wanted to go to Paris again and Shane was like “Does a bear poop in the woods?” like how Pilot responded in take one 2011 trip. It was cute! I also liked the little jokes they would have about knowing things about the future and trying to do something in the past. Shane was always like let’s sing Wrecking Ball or release the Deathly Hallows Part 2 movie or something and Pilot would always shake his head in amusement because Shane was always adamant about it. And I loved that part towards the end when Shane goes to Pilot’s room with a video camera to record his first ever Youtube for his Wrecking Ball parody song and if you got the Barnes and Nobles special edition with the deleted scenes it had the whole song I Came Into the Dinning Hall 😂

Great times.

Speaking of great times, I loved that Pilot and Shane were going to make things work and weren’t going to press that darn button. I loved that they were falling in love with each other all over again and that Pilot said he would break up with Amy so that he would be committed to Shane and so that Shane wouldn’t have to worry that she would be a cheat-ee? I don’t know the person who the cheater cheats on you with. But I loved the whole chapter called The Green Light, I Want it because it was all about moving forward together.

Then Shane and Pilot found themselves in Paris again in the same hotel room with the same old man and teenage boy and they just have the cutest Paris romantic date weekend. They go on their first date and then they go touring in Paris together to the Hall of mirrors where they create this whole idea of a move-off where they have to one up each other and their moves. I loved how Shane’s move was hand holding and then Pilot’s move was doing this little dance twirl thing and it was swoon worthy cute. Then he goes for another move where he told Shane that he watched all the episodes of Lost after Shane recommended it to him and then Shane literally couldn’t—-she lost it 😉 I couldn’t!! She obviously lost 😉 the move-off and kissed him. If she didn’t kiss him in that moment, I would have been disappointed.

I also enjoyed the whole conversation where Pilot said always and Shane was like that’s so cliché because every couple in a book or movie has their kind of one liner like ‘okay’ or ‘always.’ I was just cracking up in hysterics at how Shane was like maybe our always could be leather or lamppost. Where did this lampposts come from?! It explained why Christine was drawing lampposts on her book covers during her meet and greet vlog. I also liked that scene where they go back to the hotel and they play the opposite game together before going to sleep and they were like “I don’t like you” and “I don’t like you, either.” It was so cute, it was disgusting 💙 They also had that hot and steamy scene where they were in the 45 second shower and they were kissing and then they realized they couldn’t have that much fun in a dingy bathroom, so they get a room for themselves. It was cute. I’m just going to keep saying that word because there literally is no other word to describe how CUTE their relationship was.

Shane was just glowing though and through like the Eiffel Tower at 6 o’clock because she was in love. And this Shane was fierce. In 2011, when Chad came onto Shane as a way to show Babe he didn’t want to be with her, Shane was taken off guard and slid down the wall because she was shaken by the experience. But this Shane knew what was coming and when she whacked that sucker on the face, I was CHEERING!!! Past Shane would have never ever never done that because she was a fragile baby bird, but this Shane was a roaring FREAKING eagle who you did not double cross. And it just goes back to that conversation that Pilot and Shane had on the way to Paris where he told her noticed something different in her.

“We were gallivanting around in foreign countries I’ve never seen before! It was a lot to take in.” I laugh, looking at my knees. “Now that I’ve been here before, it’s a little more familiar than foreign.” I meet his eyes again. “I feel a little less like a newborn puppy than before.”

Pilot nodes with a small smile. “I noticed.”

“Noticed what?” I ask with a smidge of attitude.

“You’re bolder than before.”

(pg 271)

Shane truly was bolder than she was before. And I think it had something to do with time and age in maturing but also because of all the things she’s experienced. She doesn’t look at things in so much wonder anymore because she’s ‘jaded’ and sees things for what they are, but doesn’t mean she isn’t imaginative or a happy person, just more realistic about who she is and what she wants. She used to be so scared of the world and of people because she didn’t have a lot of friends and she hadn’t seen the world, but I think seeing the world and knowing which people in her life were truly there for her taught her to be stronger. I loved that for Shane. I truly did. 💙

And it really translated to her work later on.

Since she was all loved up at first, Shane was highly distracted from work. She ran in late for her first day at Packed! and the people there weren’t as nice to her or open because they probably just viewed her as the clumsy late intern and didn’t respect her. Shane was also more consumed with Pilot in the way that when she was offered to sit in on a late meeting, she declined because she had plans with him. And I totally get how she felt because Shane loved Pilot with all her heart and that kind of love is all consuming, and being Shane she had an all or nothing type of heart where she either devoted all her effort and love towards one thing or another. So when she realized that she wasn’t spending this second chance on her dreams of being a writer with Packed!, she felt like she had to chose between Pilot and her dreams.

And so there was this very rock bottom moment where Shane and Pilot talked and she wanted to press the button and go back because she was more focused on the us than the she. In the end she said she had to choose herself and I loved that she recognized that she had to put herself first because it was her life, but at the same time, I wanted to tell Shane, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. And it was so hard to read that, but I knew Shane was looking out for her. But when she pressed the button, nothing happened because according to the magical rules of the red head lady, Shane wasn’t ready to go back yet. That ladies rules were always, excuse me, lamppost iffy 😉. So Shane felt cheated, I felt cheated for her, but also happy because her story wasn’t done yet. And I loved how Shane found that note about how she had to keep climbing the mountain in that Harry Potter book. From Christine’s videos, I know Harry Potter means a lot to her, so to make the book that gave Shane hope, Harry Potter, just felt right.

And did Shane stride up those mountains. She was a literal female boss during the ending of the 2017 take two of London. She took initiative to get to know people in the office and she made them teas and made her rounds like last time. Even though her laptop was broken, she still managed to type up her blog posts and publish them on Babe’s computer. She also worked on the outline of her great American novel. And when doing all this, she just had a different type of glow, not an in love one, but an accomplished one. I loved how she had that article published and how everyone in the office was proud of her. I loved how Shane had friends in the office who looked out for her and took her under their wing to help her be a better writer. I loved that lady Donna, I think, who got Shane an interview the Seventeen magazine in New York as a way to kick start he passion of writing in the states because in this life Shane chose writing.

Which brings us to the confrontation. Same confrontation, different timeline, but the dad was still a grade A butt because he couldn’t see that his daughter loved writing. I loved how Shane told them and tired to be mature about it. The shock and anger and betrayal was still there but it was hard to read that a second time. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for Shane to experience that a second time.

However, there was this other tidbit I enjoyed with the jerk cousin Leo who asked her if she was okay. Then Leo opened up to her about being gay and how it was hard to live in the closet because their family always made these rude comments about gay people and so if they found out Leo was gay, they would disown him or tease him mercilessly for it. I think this just made me understand Leo a lot better as person because he wasn’t a horrible boy, just someone who was very on guard with his feelings and with the world because he was angry that he couldn’t be himself. So he took that anger out on Shane and others who looked happy. But I loved that when he opened up to Shane, Shane started to see why Leo was the way he was and tried to be there for him.

I enjoyed the ending with Leo and how they were older and he had a boyfriend and was living his truth. I was happy for him.

But we didn’t even talk about the how the happy ending came to be for Pilot and Shane, because DUH, they’re going to get a happy ending! So it was the end of the study abroad take two and Shane takes a trip to Edinburgh to literally climb a mountain, which was symbolic considering the note she found in the book. While climbing the mountain, Shane was very reflective about how far she had come (in so many ways) and she sat down on a rock because she was tired.

And you know who shows up on that darned mountain!!!?

Pilot in all his glory!!!! 😆

And he sang her a medley of all her favorite songs by her favorite artists and it was just so cute and it was his big move and I just couldn’t stand how CUTE everything was. He literally was climbing that mountain with her. And then they had this whole conversation of how they missed each other and how Shane tired to make a big mountain move like Pilot during the first time around. But now here they were despite everything and they wanted to make things work. They were going to live their lives all over again with each other this time and I loved how ready they were to take this chance to do everything Again, But Better.

As if the book couldn’t get any better. We got an epilogue!!!

The epilogue was where Shane lived out her life as a published author and she had a mending relationship with her parents, which I enjoyed hearing because at least they came around. Better late than never, right?

But what I loved was how they went to that hotel where the cool coffee shop was with the elevator and Pilot had the Beatles Russian nesting dolls there and I was flipping my pancakes because I KNEWWWWWW!!!

I KNEW. 😄

I MEAN C-U-T-E CUTE!!!

You don’t just give a soppy I love you without a proposal attached!!!

Then he gave her the dolls and was like, “open it” and I was a goner!

I KNEW. 😄

She opened each doll one by one until she saw a ring and Pilot was kneeling and he was like “I want to move forward with you,” which was such great line considering their story. And then Shane was like “Screw you, I’m never going to be able to top his move.” And my heart was complete because Pilot sure did have some pretty good moves and they were so perfect for each other and they got the happy ending they deserved.

Poor Melvin. Wonder what he’s up to these days or who he ended up with. Plot twist says he ended up with Amy?

Overall, I just loved the love and the story line of how they traveled back in time and were given a second chance to get the love they deserved and to make their dreams come true. I love how it was a mix of a girl and a boy finding themselves and what they’re passionate about as well as a story about coming from a hard family that doesn’t really support your dreams. I know we all can’t be lucky to have people in our lives who 100% support our dreams, but this is for anyone who has a dream that no one believes in, I just hope you know that I believe in you and at the end of the day you do what’s right for you and what will make you happy. And if that person/people in you life really love you, they’ll come around in supporting you. If not, they will lose out on the amazing journey you’re on. Trust in your dreams.

In relation to me, I never had the idea to study abroad before actually going to college and someone mentioning it. I guess growing up I would vaguely hear people talk about study abroad, but I never really cared. But when I actually knew what it was and the opportunities it could give a person—a taste of a new culture, to travel to different places, to find yourself—-I warmed up to the idea that I would like to study abroad in London one day to. This revelation came to me during the first semester of my freshman year, which was about a year ago and I remember feeling so excited at the prospect of actually traveling for once in my life to go to a place I desperately want to see one day. The idea was just so appealing to me. But then I had this fear that since I’ve never traveled a day in my life, how was I going to survive for half a year in another country soooo far from home? And I was scared. No, I was terrified. Then around this time— it was like a sign from above—when after three years keeping it under wraps, Christine revealed that her book was about studying abroad. I instantly thought to myself, well I’ll be darned. What are the chances.

So I took it as a sign to maybe I should study abroad. The opportunity, the culture, the educational experience. I told my dad, and he told me I couldn’t even go out of state for college, so what made me think I could go out of country. Suffice, to say my dreams of studying abroad were squashed. So I forgot about it until my friend mentioned she wanted to study abroad in China and then one thing lead to another and Christine’s book comes out.

My dreams were alive and well again.

I want to study abroad.

And I still do. I don’t know when I will, but I think I want to promise myself to always—lamp post—keep it in my thoughts as an option and as a dream to allow myself to grow and experience something different. When I think about studying abroad, the fear is there, but the love and puppy eyed images are there too. It makes me excited for if I could or would do it. And maybe I will, but who knows.

But I think what made this book one of my favorites besides it being written by Christine was the fact that Shane was so relatable in her life events and where I am in life. She’s in college and she has so much hope and optimism at first about the world and a big heart. She doesn’t feel supported by her family in her dreams, so she believes in herself and tries to comply with what people want of her. I just think the difference between Shane and I is that she actually took that risk and studied abroad. She got to see the world, fall in love, and have a second chance.

By no means necessary do I think I will meet a red haired bird nested lady who will turn back time for me to do things better, so I—we—have to live in the now and know that we only get this one day, this one minute, this one second to do what we want to do to chase after the life we want whether it be to fall in love, to have friends, to go after a dream job we want—-we have to be the one to open the door instead of letting it stay closed, waiting for someone to knock and invite us to life. Because it was a newsflash to me that life isn’t going to knock on my or your door and invite us, we have to invite ourselves and live unapologetically to what we want. And I think Shane really does that with the second half of the book—her second chance. We only have this chance though, so we have to use it well.

So whatever your good intentioned dreams are, dream it, chase after it, and make it a reality and if someone doesn’t support you or like you for that, then they aren’t meant to be part of your journey—they’re holding you back. If you’re like me and are the type of person to stay in the dorm room, study, repeat, try with me to go out once in a while, you don’t have to go full blown drunk and do exotic things, but make a conscious effort to do more and be more. If you love someone or like someone, don’t wait last minute to make the last big move, make a move (within reason) while you can and make those feelings known because you can’t expect anything to happen if you don’t do anything or communicate what you feel. Life is about taking chances that scare us, that terrify us, that challenge us, but don’t define us. Life is about having one foot out the door with your head up high ready to seize the heck out of your carpe diem or whatever that is. Life is about living now and enjoying every moment while you can. Life is about knowing that things happen for a reason and they will get better.

If you read this book, what was your favorite part? Least favorite part? Have you watched any of Christine’s videos or video diaries and what do you think of her debut novel? If you could go back in time to do something again, but better what moment would it be? And have you ever wanted to study abroad or have studied abroad? What was your experience like? I would love to know any answer to any question, as I love chatting with you 💕

I hope you have a great day and a great life and go after you dreams and your mans or womans 😉

And as always, with love,

Rating

4.97 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: Shane is someone every girl or boy can relate to and I loved that you could really see her growth as she got older. Pilot was also a fun character to read about because he’s very smooth with the moves. I also enjoyed the kinship with the friends, and the parents of Shane were very hard to like.

Plot: Loved the love. Loved the travel. Loved the reliability.

Writing: You could really hear the author’s voice in her writing and her personality, which I loved. I also loved how the author put little tidbits of what her favorite things were from Harry Potter, to green tea match from Starbucks, to her Youtube channel, Taylor Swift, and of course, yoga.

Romance: Everything you want in a cute romantic book that deals with a girl finding herself and finding love. If mums the word or whatever the saying is, then cute is the word in this case