A Bend In The Road by Nicholas Sparks Book Review

“He didn’t want to think about blankets or flowers or a bend in the road that started it all.”

(pg. 321)

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Author: Nicholas Sparks

Genre: Adult Romance

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Synopsis

Miles Ryan’s life seemed to end the day his wife was killed in a hit-and-run accident two years ago. As deputy sheriff of New Bern, North Carolina, he not only grieves for her and worries about their young son Jonah but longs to bring the unknown driver to justice. Then Miles meets Sarah Andrews, Jonah’s second-grade teacher. A young woman recovering from a difficult divorce, Sarah moved to New Bern hoping to start over. Tentatively, Miles and Sarah reach out to each other…soon they are falling in love. But what neither realizes is that they are also bound together by a shocking secret, one that will force them to reexamine everything they believe in-including their love.

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To the Sparks at heart,

My third Nicholas Sparks book and I feel like my mother. All I have left to do is pick up a Daniel Steel book 🤪.

When I saw A Bend In The Road and read the synopsis, I knew it would be my next Nicholas Sparks book. As an education major whenever there is a teacher in the story, I’m sold. Target took my money when I bought this book. I will say there were teacher portions of this book, however they were highly sparse. Mostly the teaching aspect was in the beginning of the story with Sarah noticing how far behind Jonah was and wanting to tutor him after school to help him catch up. But other than that, I would have loved more teacher-related content like more lesson planning stresses or how Sarah related to her students. However, I understand why there wasn’t more teacher content because the book wasn’t about Sarah as a teacher, it only started that way. I will say that my teacher red flag went off with Jonah’s previous teachers because they shouldn’t have not taught him anything or allow him to get by without actually learning because that was hurting his education more than helping him. Sure, I understand Jonah was in an emotionally difficult situation and I wouldn’t want the teachers to force anything on Jonah that was too much given the situation, but Jonah still deserved to learn. Also, Miles deserved to know his son wasn’t doing that well rather than all the teachers failing to say anything because if Jonah had gone into the high grades, he would have struggled immensely and it wouldn’t have been his fault. The teacher’s had a duty to teach him while still being understanding and compassionate. It doesn’t have to be completely one or the other. So I liked how Sarah stepped in and had a conference with Miles about how Jonah needed remedial help. She asked him to help Jonah at home with work she would give Jonah but because Miles worked a lot and at odd hours, she offered to tutor Jonah after school, which was completely noble of her. A teacher’s heart, if you will. I also laughed more than I should have when Sarah told Miles that helping Jonah at home would be easy because it’s not like they’re doing algebra. A sis didn’t have Common Core 😆! YIKES. Wait a century, Sarah. It’ll get harder.

That’s something else I found interesting about reading A Bend In The Road—the time period. The book was published in 2001 and so many things were different—–the culture, society, women’s role, men’s role, education, and the standing of the police. So many things have changed since 2001 in the world that when I read A Bend In The Road, I couldn’t help but smile or shake my head to myself at all the things that wouldn’t go so well today. The education for one would be immensely different and Sarah’s stress levels would have been through the roof. Society was vastly different and people still felt safe (somewhat safe) back then to go out into the woods at night without fearing for their life. Women still weren’t treated with respect or given power, and there were some points I felt like Miles mansplained Sarah. Men were the usual people who drank in bars and creepily hit on women. The police back then was respected and were honorable to ethical morals and values—-good people like Charlie and Miles. Gosh knows police have been a controversial subject for the past few years to today with everything with police brutality, unethical arrests, etc. There’s so much I could go on about there. But it’s crazy to think about how when Nicholas Sparks wrote this book, the world was in a difficult and fearful place, I assume, and how we still had immense progress to be made, but in many ways we have made as much progress as we had step backs. This sentiment reminds me of Olivia Rodrigo’s song ‘One Step Forward, 3 Steps Back.’ It truly does feel like that and then some.

It’s interesting how stories can capture a time and essence. I feel like that’s what Nicholas Sparks did.

I felt like I was in the early old, southern 2000s. There was a general calm, wholesome feel as I read A Bend In The Road that felt like when times were a bit simpler and people fished, walked around on Halloween, had VCR (GOSH was I triggered!), or went to soccer games. Now . . . we’re in a pandemic 🙃. Yikes. I loved the mood of the story, I truly did; the mood felt dispiriting, a bit hopeful, a bit romantic, and mysterious. A whole lot of mystery for sure. But before I get into the mystery, I want to talk about Nicholas Sparks writing because his writing contributed to the mood of the story. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve read a plethora of books or I mostly read contemporary romances—-YA and NA—-but Nicholas Sparks writing felt more like tell rather than show. The beginning was really slow for me with the immense world building and backstory that I felt could have been interwoven along the story rather than dumped all in the beginning because it made my eyes heavy to get through. I also felt like there were many portions where characters or relationships were described to me rather than me feeling the scene or understanding the scene. I wanted to be immersed in the scene rather than a by-stander being told this and that about how it happened. I also would have liked more metaphorical writing or stronger stylistic writing because I’m a sucker for poetic type of writing or something that packs a strong emotional punch. There were good lines in Nicholas Sparks’ book, don’t get me wrong, but I felt like the lines were lines could have been pizzazzed to have more prose or emotion. I just want to say I don’t think Nicholas Sparks is a bad writer because absolutely not, my gosh, he’s a best-selling author! I respect his writing, his story, and books. I think he’s a good writer, and in the early 2000s I think his writing was great. His stories would have come across wonderful. But to me, his writing was good, I just feel like with all the stories I’ve read in YA or NA, those stories have a different, more active prose with strong emotional punch or a strong voice. I’m not saying Nicholas Sparks doesn’t have a strong voice, just that I think the voice in the early 2000s was different than the voice most authors have today and that’s okay. I also want to say, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the story. Also, books I read today are more show rather than tell. There were some scenes that I felt could have been described better to take us into the moment. The smut scenes for one felt glossed over, which is fine because not everyone feels comfortable writing that. But as a smutty reader who has read to much smut in my New Adult books, I was expecting smut 😅. I mean, it’s okay if I don’t read smut. Honestly, it’s probably better if I didn’t, but I don’t know, I’m just so used to reading smut in every adult book or YA book I read. I’ve been spoiled.

Again, the writing felt right for the time, and that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the story because I did.

I liked Miles. He was someone I cared for because of what he had been through the last two years. My gosh, my heart really felt for him because he lost the love of his life so unexpectedly and not on the best note. That had to suck for him to find out his wife passed away when they were in the middle of a simple argument because he decided to go fishing with his friend one day rather than do the lawn/garden like she asked of him. Hearing about Miles and Missy’s love story was bittersweet and endearing. I loved hearing how Missy was his first and only love and how they shared so many firsts. I also loved hearing how they brought the best out of each other and shared so many beautifully sweet moments. I loved how much I could feel that Miles loved her—-Missy was his whole world. He didn’t mean to make her mad that day, he just wanted to fist, which OOOOKAY, but still when Charlie knocked on the door with his face all solemn, I wanted to hug Miles because he knew. Miles had been waiting all day after Missy went for her run, wondering when she would come back—not thinking anything was wrong until it was way later in the day and too long to be suspicious. But my gosh 😢. I think that’s genuinely and utlimpaitely the absolutely wort—-when you end an argument heated. There’s something I heard a while back about how we should never end an argument heated or without saying how much we love someone. It’s because an argument should never be about a person against a person, but the couple is a team and it’s the two of them against the issue they are fighting, so no matter a fight, the love should still be there—-is still there. I think it hurt more for Miles to know he not only lost his wife, but he lost her without telling her he loved her or that he was sorry for not doing the garden liked she asked. He never got closure.

That’s wrung my heart out for Miles.

He was grieving. There is no wrong way to grieve.

Grieve is all consuming. It’s confusing. It’s heavy. It’s melancholy. It’s dark. It’s isolating. It’s hard.

I felt how resigned, downcast, hopeless, angry, and obsessive Miles was for years. He really was going through the five stages of grief, or is that the five stages of a break-up? I think the same process applies, though. Miles went through the sad parts where he would spend many nights up, wondering what happened to Missy and how he blamed himself for not being there or for not doing what she wanted. I think he also blamed himself for not apologizing to her on that day when he knew he was wrong. He also had this sense of hopelessness, which I could understand because here he was, a widowed father taking care of his son, Jonah. He was angry and obsessive. Miles kept this thick manilla folder of Missy’s case because they never caught the person who hit Missy and ran. He could never figure out who and that made him frustrated with himself because he felt like a failure who couldn’t even solve his wife’s case. He felt like he was failing her in not bringing her peace or justice to who did this to her. I could understand why he felt angry, heck, I think anyone in his situation would feel exactly what he felt and more. I would feel confused and angry. I wrote on another book review somewhere how I feel like anger and hurt are tied closely together. When we are angry at something or someone, we tend to be hurt by that person or thing and when we are hurt by someone or something, we can either be sad or angry. Anger is tied to our hurt. Miles was hurt that he lost the love of his life too soon when she left that day. He was hurt for Jonah who now didn’t have a mother and also had to grieve a person in his life who he barely scraped the surface of knowing.

GOSH, when I say I love little kids in books, I mean I LOVE little kids in books 🧡!

Not in a creepy way 😅! But don’t you just love little kids in books because of all their curious and wholesome questions? And their childlike innocence at the world? I love kids.

Jonah was a sweetheart, honestly the highlight and the star of the book 🧡. I loved how Sarah gave him double-stuffed Oreos as a treat because Jonah wasn’t that receptive to stay back at school. In elementary school, I had to stay after school for tutoring too and it partially sucked because it felt like there was something wrong with me that I would need to stay back for more school. I also felt embarrassed because I didn’t feel smart enough like my peers. I remember my teachers would also bring treats—candies, those vanilla and chocolate mixed Oreo cookie things, Goldfish—-all the junk food I could eat at the time without a care in the world. Reading about how Sarah did the same with Jonah took me back to my elementary days.

I will say, Jonah talked maturely for a second grader. Second graders are seven years old, and it’s not like they don’t have the capacity to speak maturely, but gosh Jonah felt older than his age 😂. I don’t know, I worked with second graders for a field experience once and they didn’t talk the way Jonah talked. They were more tattle-taley, you know. Anyway, I also loved how Jonah would say the cutest or the darnedest things. What a sweetheart 🥺. I laughed when Miles and Jonah would have their little heart to heart moments; I just adored their strong relationship in general. I laughed when Jonah would ask about Miles dating Sarah and what that meant. I cracked up with how Jonah said adults did boring things on dates.

“‘All it means is that we want to talk for a while so we can get to know one another. Sometimes grown-ups like to do that.’

‘Why?'”

(pg. 92)

Or

“I don’t want to be a grown-up,’ He finally declared.

‘Why not?’

‘Because,’ he said, ‘grown-ups always say that things are complicated.'”

(pg. 336)

I mean, he’s not wrong 🤪.

I swear, adulting is complicated and I don’t know how anyone does it.

Let alone Miles—-newly widowed father.

I give him so much credit. The absolute most credit. Being a parent is challenging. Being a single parent is an Olympic sport.

I grew up with a single dad—-my parent’s divorced when I was younger—-and he practically raised my siblings and I. I don’t know how he did it or how he does it. I know he sacrificed so much for us—-education, our home, our happiness, food on the table—-and there aren’t enough words to say how grateful I am for my dad. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Miles to process his grief while also trying to be a parent to Jonah. I think he was doing as well as he could and I loved how supportive his community was of him. I think that’s the beauty of living in a small community or growing up in the same place—you form incomparable bonds with the people around you that they become an extended family. I could feel how much the people cared for each other.

One of my favorite things that Miles would do is hold Jonah whenever he had nightmares. It made my heart sad to hear about how Jonah had nightmares because it highlighted how real his trauma was in losing his mom. Jonah was too young to fully understand what happened, but he knew there was an accident and he lost his mom. That’s not something I would hope anybody, yet alone someone young go through and feel. I wanted to wrap Jonah in a hug and shelter him from the world. I loved how Miles would be there for Jonah because that’s what Jonah needed—-to know his dad would be there and wouldn’t leave. There was one nightmare Jonah had where I believe he talked about how he was scared Miles wouldn’t be there, and that made my heart clench even more because that’s another bag to unpack. Jonah was feeling a lot and that’s understandable. He already lost one parent and couldn’t bear to lose another. Gosh, that’s hard. In the beginning, it really got to me how they would say I love you to each other . . . because of, you know, what happened with the mom 🥺. Again, I loved their bond and connection.

I also loved their bittersweet conversation when Miles was getting obsessive with the case again and didn’t talk to Jonah, and Jonah was sad and had a nightmare. Jonah was upset because his dad was sad and wasn’t speaking to him and that triggered the nightmares because Miles was on the case again. Kid’s are highly receptive to their parents and can pick up how they feel. When Miles was feeling better, Jonah started to heal. But when Miles was sad or obsessed with the case, it made Jonah upset because he could see how maddeningly zealous the dad was to figure out what happened. But it was interesting how perceptive Jonah was to feel his dad’s sadness when opening up the case again. I think Miles constantly opening up the case felt like he wasn’t letting go and that made if difficult for Miles and Jonah to move on. I mean, I don’t blame Miles for not wanting to stop solving the case and I didn’t think he should have if it would bring him and Missy peace, but he could have gone about solving the case in a healthier manner. And maybe not solve it in front of Jonah who already lost his mom and didn’t need to lose her twice by seeing the case in front of him when the dad was solving the case.

Therapy wasn’t highly coveted in the early 2000s like it is today. If it was, I think Jonah and Miles could have and should have gone to therapy. Even in the early 2000s, I would still recommend that they go to therapy or that Jonah spoke to a counselor or something to work through his emotions. I think that would have at least helped him understand or process what he was feeling. However, especially in the early 2000s, I’m not sure how comfortable men were about therapy, so maybe Miles would have been opposed to it. I think he would benefit from talking through his grief, loss, and trauma as well. Sometimes people need help, and it’s okay—-more than okay—to ask for help.

I guess, Miles didn’t really ask for help with Sarah, she offered to help. But still, I liked how Sarah eased herself into Miles life. I don’t know if it was very professional of her to flirt with Miles as a teacher, but I didn’t really care because you know, it made for spicy story 😉. I mean, of course, the teacher in me has briefly wondered if I stumbled upon a young single parent. I don’t get farther than that thought, but I have pondered the idea as one does when they immerse themselves in too many fantasy worlds—-you know, us readers 🙈. I loved how bold Sarah was because I didn’t expect her to be the one who initiated most things even if she too was nervous. I loved loved loved how she gently teased Miles about his attempt in asking her on a date.

“‘Do you remember when you asked me about the fan?’

. . . ‘Yeah?’ he said cautiously.

‘I’m also free on Friday night, if you’re still interested.'”

(pg. 90)

When Miles was going to ask her out, he chickened and asked her about the fan he bought for her classroom as a gift for helping Jonah after school. I CACKLED with how that was the first thing that came out of his mouth. What. An. IDIOT 😂. She knew what was up though, and I liked how she didn’t make him feel already more embarrassed than he already felt. It was also cute to see Miles talk about how he didn’t know how to flirt or talk to other women because he had only loved one person his whole life, so this—-the putting himself back out there—-was new to him. They also had a typical first date where she did the clichéd thing and feigned not knowing how to play pool so that he would guide her arms to help her 😅. We love a fake help-me moment. Good for Sarah that she hustled him in pool because she wasn’t no Southern Belle who didn’t know how to bite back!

Sarah had an interesting backstory as well. She has a close-knit family, especially with her parents. Her mom and her seemed like they had an I-love-you-but-you-kind-of-annoy-me relationship because of how the mom would constantly batter her with questions about her love life or what she should wear. The mom was a flurry of joy. But Sarah moved to New Bern for a fresh start after divorcing from her ex-husband. She met her ex-husband after she graduated and they had a whirlwind love as well, and everything was well between them two until the husband and Sarah found out that Sarah couldn’t have children. That shattered their perfect image of what they had and the husband acted distant from her. I could understand why he would would need some time to process just as much as Sarah, but he really should have been there for Sarah because she was probably feeling a lot more. I mean, she just learned she couldn’t have kids. That broke my heart for her 😢. He didn’t need to make things hard on her when she was already going through many emotions. I didn’t like how he just gave her the divorce papers one day like he was saying, this is it, I give up, I don’t love you anymore. And maybe he still loved her, but his idea of a future was now different than hers or his perspective changed. I recently heard from Unsolicited Advice podcast in their episode titled Monsters and Broken Hearts about a girl who had a dad who was newly divorced and met someone else who thought he was going to marry—he fell deeply in love with a new person after the divorce. But then one day, the dad said him and the woman he thought was the one, broke up. The daughter said something about how she thought they broke up because the dad and the woman he thought was the one were in two different places in life and wanted different things. They still loved each other, most likely, but it’s difficult when there’s that love there, but the goals don’t match up. I never thought about that before, but I found it interesting how that can be true—-that you can love a person but sometimes you may share different ideas of the life you want, so that can be something that comes between two people (not in a bad way, but a difficult way).

The episode made me think of Sarah and her ex-husband, but I think the ex-husband could have and should have been more understanding of the situation and tried harder if he really wanted to be with Sarah. If he really loved her, I think he would have said to heck with his parents thought—-the parents wanted him to carry on the family name and have kids—-and do what was best for Sarah and him because it’s not the parents relationship, it’s theres. But you know, I guess things weren’t that way—-when one door closes, another opens. I must say, it was kind of a telltale when he had her sign the prenup that he wasn’t fully in the relationship with her because if someone has you sign a prenup, personally I feel like that feels like they have one foot out the door and are ready to leave the relationship because they have a high hunch things won’t work out. I know that’s not always the case, and every situation is different, but to me, that’s what I would have felt as Sarah. I could understand her need to start over, but I also felt for her because moving to a new place, with a new job, and little to no friends is never easy.

I imagined she felt like how I felt when I went to college and dormed my first two years; it’s an adjustment.

Miles and Sarah had an honest relationship and I think that’s why they worked. I liked how Miles never kept her in the dark about Missy because Missy was a big part of his life and I also liked how when things became serious between her and Miles, she opened up to him about not being able to have kids. Miles said somewhere along the way about how much he hoped Jonah would have a sibling, so Sarah’s nerves were amplified when telling Miles that she couldn’t have children. I loved that he didn’t think less of her or judge her like her ex-husband did. He was really sweet about it. I also think they both shared some sort of loss recently that drove them together and made them connect so quickly. I also loved how much we could see Jonah creating a strong bond with Sarah because she brought him cookies and toys. I kid you not, whenever Nicholas Sparks said they made love, I laughed 😂. My SMUT reader was showing 🙈.

It’s books like these that make me question the level of smut I read in books these days.

I digress.

I thought it was sweet that Sarah would go to Jonah’s soccer games to support him—a real teacher of the people! I also cackled with how Miles asked her about her morning routine and if she put her hair in a towel because he wondered all these things when he was beginning to like her. I can’t believe he actually asked her about the towel in the hair 😅. AKA-AWKWARD. Yikes. I’m joking, he was just being sweet. I also loved when they walked around the neighborhood on Halloween and listen to a sort of town Romeo and Juliet-esque stories with the two candles in the window—-where two star-crossed lovers from New Bern would light candles as signals to each other because they couldn’t speak or be together. Then the man—Harris—-passed away in war and then the woman—Kathryn— passed away in her grief. Then there were candles that burned each year for how long they were married and the old house always had two candles burning to represent their love. When we heard that story, I was like, I bet Miles and Sarah were going to see two candles one day because they’re in love. DUH.

Their relationship took the forefront of the book, but the second half focused on the mystery aspect a lot more, which was fine. I would have liked to seen the romance more interwoven in the second half, but it worked that they formed a strong relationship so that that strength could be tested in the second half.

I really loved the third point of view and the italicized narration pages of the person whodunnit. I thought that was such an interesting way to keep the reader guessing and for the reader to see how the person whodunnit felt. From the minute I read the whodunnit pages, I was like the person has to be related to Sarah. No joke. I thought this because the synopsis really gave it away 😂.

I mean, “a shocking secret, one that will force them to reexamine everything they believe in—including their love,” is not very discrete.

The person who did it, had to be a) Sarah. But I didn’t think it was Sarah because she wasn’t in New Bern at the time and wouldn’t have been on that road. Also, if Sarah did it, I think her consciousness or actions would be more despondent or guilt filled. If she also did it, it wouldn’t make sense for her to be in New Bern—-the town she should be putting as much distance from if she did cause the accident. B) it could have been Sarah’s dad, but then it didn’t feel like it was him either because he was pretty much non-existent. So that left me with c) Sarah’s brother, Brian. It was Brian and I called it—-wrote it in my notebook—and everything that did it. Did you figure out it was Brian from the get-go?

All the clues were there: His distant demeanor; him constantly being away “at college;” the shock on his face when he saw Miles and Jonah; and the descriptions of how he looked like he aged, was on drugs, or beaten. The signs were there 👏🏼! The guilt was there. Also, it would make sense if Brian did it because of the clue of how the person who hit and ran left a blanket over Missy like it was an apology or a kindness. I think someone who was younger would show more mercy in such a situation. So it was Brian, it was just a matter of when he was going to tell Sarah.

Another clue I knew it was him was because of a similar plot in Riverdale. I’m not sure what season it was, but it was when Archie found out his dad passed away in an accident when the dad was trying to save someone’s life—doing the selfless things he always did. The season or a portion of it centered around Archie’s grief when his dad passed away and when Luke Perry, a wonderful, compassionate, honest, phenomenal person and actor also passed away. I loved loved loved these episodes in Riverdale because they packed an emotional punch that reverberated in every fiber of my being. It was so honest and real. Over the season, Archie went on an anger-indcuded and obsessive run with trying to find out he also hit and run his dad. Not really a huge spoiler, but a spoiler in some ways so if you haven’t watched the show, I would gloss over the next sentence and skip to the next paragraph. I’m going to write a filler sentence here to warn people who haven’t watched Riverdale to skip to the next line paragraph this is a show spoiler ssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo now. Well, the person who did hit and ran was also a teenager, a teenage boy specifically. So when Brian showed up in the book and we see how rundown he looks and feels, I just knew that the storyline was going to be similar.

Also, I’m not saying that an older person wouldn’t have had the same compassion as Brian in this situation because anyone with a heart or a compassionate fiber in their being would stay with Missy, help her, or do something, but I don’t know, maybe it’s the youthful innocence that made me think Brian would do such a thing. The whole situation was complicated and messy because Brian would have been around fifteen or sixteen when the accident happened, so he was most likely a new driver. He was also super young and would feel TERRIFIED and gutted by what happened. Gosh, if I was Brian I wouldn’t have even begin to understand how I felt. I would have been guilt-ridden, sorrowful, TERRIFIED, mortified, absolutely gutted. I mean, wow. What Brian was going through was rough, and that’s not to say what Miles and Jonah went through wasn’t rough because it was, in a different way. What they both went through was absolutely devastatingly complicated. I understood how Brian was shocked in the moment and would run rather than stay. He thought he was going to prison and it was an accident and he didn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know what to do. I mean, he really could have told someone sooner to own up to what he did rather than keeping Miles in the dark because it made Miles restless wanting to know who did this to his family.

Brain tried to commiserate in subtle ways with the flowers on Missy’s graves/visiting her all the time, going to her funeral, and low-key stalking Jonah and miles to ensure they were okay. I will say that last part was Creepy with a capital C. I understood why he stalked them because if he watched them and saw they were okay then that wouldn’t make him feel as terrible was he already felt—-to know that they were okay or were going to be okay. He needed some sort of teether to know that he didn’t completely fudge up their lives, but he did.

I mean, Miles was furious and restless and Jonah was dealing with trauma, nightmares, and school troubles.

Everyone was effected.

Miles really went Hulk on the investigation because he wanted someone to blame. I didn’t blame him, what he felt was natural. He took it too far though when he went to Otis’s house and put a gun to Otis’s head and throated Otis in front of all these people without really telling Otis what crime he had committed. Miles and Otis had bad blood and it was just easier for Miles to believe Otis did it because it would mean he could be with Sarah and put the case behind him. He would bring peace to Missy. But Miles really should have asked himself if listing to a tip from a usually drunk guy trying to skeet skeet out of being locked up again was the best source of trusting information. It absolutely wasn’t, but for Miles it was enough because it was something to his two years of nothing. I liked how Charlie still tried to be a respectful friend to Miles even when he told Miles he was off the case and suspended. I could tell how much it pained Charlie to tell Miles to cool down or to let him handle the case. He was just worried about Miles doing something even more stupid that he would regret it later because at this point I felt like Miles was looking for validation in his endeavors, but there was nothing concrete in what he was doing—-arresting Otis and taking him in.

During the whole accusing Otis thing, Brian came forward and told Sarah about him being the one whodunnit because Brain saw a line where he wasn’t going to let Otis—-an innocent man—-take the fall for something he did. The day of the accident, Brian was working and he drove this big truck and he was on this bend in the road. A black dog jumped out of the woods and ran across the street and I think in a fight, Missy jumped on the road and Brian accidnetly hit her and couldn’t swerve out of the way fast enough. When I read that I was like, WHERE DID THIS DOG COME FROM????! Gosh, it really was an accident. Darn 😢. I just . . . my heart feels heavy thinking how somethings happen and we don’t understand why or all the things that play out in that moment. Darn. But I liked how Sarah didn’t judge him, but she understood him. But gosh, I don’t even know how I would begin to feel as Sarah. This was what it meant by “forcing them to reexamine everything” 🤪. YIKES. Because how was Sarah going to be with Miles when her brother hit the wife?

DARN.

I could only think about how Miles would just look at her and see the brother’s face and he would be angry at the brother, and. in turn Sarah. So my heart hurt for Sarah because she knew she had to tell Miles, but telling him also meant losing him because he probably wouldn’t look at her the same way again. I felt beyond hurt for Sarah; she was in the middle of everything. Also, I give her credit for always trying to talk him down when he was looking for comfort in his crazy rampage to finally get answers and bring Missy peace, but gosh, he really wasn’t listening to anyone at the time. He really would have shot Otis if he didn’t think of Jonah and how Jonah would think of him if he did such a think. Jonah was his tether and saving grace.

When Sarah and Brian went to Miles house the day after Brian confessed to what he did, I was like, “Sis, you should probably preface this conversation with I only found this out yesterday” 👏🏼!!! Because she didn’t lead with that, it made sense why Miles popped off on her, thinking that Sarah knew the entire time and was only using him as a way to make up for what Brian did. This was Miles irrational side talking to Sarah and he should have let Sarah explain the rest. But the way he just took Brian and drove like a maniac to the station, I COULD NOT.

He wasn’t in a healthy mindset to drive. He was seeing red everywhere and it showed. Gosh, I really enjoyed how Nicholas Sparks wrote three POVs when Miles was driving down that same bend in the road—–gosh this bend in the road 😣—-and he kept screaming his head off at Brian just to get a reaction, and his eyes weren’t on the road. An innocent guy driving a truck was also on the road and he was going about his day, switching the radio and everything and the SUSPENSE!!! Immaculate. Something TERRIBLE was going to happen because Miles couldn’t get his head out of his pants to realize that he needed to calm the freak down and keep his eyes on the road. And the fact that he was a cop who was speeding and not paying attention to the road???????? BRO. He was being a reckless mother trucker and I knew, I knew, that he might cause or would cause an accident and it would be similar to what happened with Missy and then only then would Miles learn that it was an accident. I was partially right because thank goodness they didn’t hit the poor innocent older man, but gosh, MILES WAS DUMB.

But it was a lesson because Miles began to think of how maybe Brian was telling the truth with how everything was an accident. Brian didn’t know there was going to be a do that day and nor did Missy see the car. Miles almost caused an accident because he didn’t see the car and he was too blindsided by his rage to drive clearly. What he did was an accident and could have been similar to what happened if Brian didn’t warn him to swerve.

“It was an accident. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

(pg. 304)

But the whole accident made me think about how sometimes things happen, again, and sucky things happen and sometimes we look for people or something to blame because as people I feel like it’s easier to name our pain or give something a reason to our pain because if we don’t, it feels like our pain isn’t real. But it is. And I would hope no one finds themselves in an accident or has an accident happen to them or a loved one, but gosh, I felt like sometimes situations can be more than what we know or understand.

“Or did her take that total and subtract a boy’s age and fear and obvious sorrow along with his love for Sarah, thus bringing the number back to zero?”

(pg. 316)

Because now came the question of whether Brian was going to jail.

That’s so tough.

He was only a kid, but Missy was a life and every life is important. Also, what happened effected Miles and Sarah’s whole life.

What happened was an accident, but what happened after was real.

Brian was in this waiting period of when Miles would inevitably come for him.

I GOT REAL TRIGGERED when Miles went to the old shed near his house and pulled out a gun. LIKE BRO WHY DO YOU NEED THAT?????! Are we still out here angry as heck? 😣 YIKES. I didn’t know what Miles was going to do because he was so ready to shoot Otis or the person who took Missy’s life, that I wouldn’t put it past his rage to do such a thing. . . but to Brian??? Noooooo.

When Brian went to Missy’s grave and Miles was there . . . I was ready to cry. I was terrified for the dude. Miles had a gun 😖. I could not. Miles followed Brian to Missy’s grave to talk to him alone and the whole time, I was thinking Miles wouldn’t shoot someone in a cemetery—-that seems extremely WRONG. I didn’t know.

“‘Part of me still wants to kill him. To do the same thing to his family that he did to mine. And now, I’m looking at the man who did it. And this man is putting the wrong flowers on my wife’s grave.'”

(pg. 328)

I felt hurt for Miles because he thought vengeance was going to be his retribution, but he let Brian go free. But not without making Brian remember and live with the pain and grief he caused Miles and Jonah, which I could understand. Miles showed some mercy but not without a price. Because Miles was right though, that what happened didn’t erase the loss and pain Miles and Jonah felt. I get it. It was such a complicated situation. I liked how we found out years later that Brian did make something of his life. I loved how he studied to become a doctor because he would save lives—-something I feel was influenced by everything that happened. Brain also kept his promise to Miles to not tell anyone about him and Miles cemetery conversation.

What got me was when Miles talked about how he went to find the black dog who ran across the road—-that that was why he had his gun. I’M SORRY????!!!??!!? 😣 Why was he trying to seek havoc on a dog??? HE was straight up going to dog murder just because he needed to blame something???? That’s a hard no from me. I mean, the dog didn’t’ know better than to run out on the road, why punish the dog? It’s a dog.

A DOG 😠.

I don’t like people who have an axe to grind with dogs.

*shakes head*

LOSER.

Anyway, I liked how everyone in Miles life encouraged him not to break things off with Sarah because of what happened. If he still liked her, it shouldn’t be complicated. You know, kids say the simplest things with the most punch because it’s true. If it’s simple, why do we complicate things? I guess, that’s life. But I liked how in the end, Miles and Jonah were in her apartment sometime after Christmas and it was his way fo saying let’s give things a chance. I loved the full circle moment to the two candles because DUH 🙈! They were now the loves of her life.

I liked how Jonah grew to love Sarah as more than a teacher because that was important for Miles—someone who would love Jonah and who Jonah would love. I liked how perceptive Jonah was to notice Sarah not around and to voice how sad that made him feel. I also have to say one of my favorite parts of the book was when Miles was watching the VCR tapes of Missy and them back then—-gosh, the home movies got me!—-and Jonah came out and asked if he heard mommy 🥺. Jonah never knew about the tapes until then, and I just felt like Miles should have shared them with Jonah because he deserved to remember his mom as much as possible too. He probably forgot her voice or what she looked like. Sharing moments of a loved one two people love and miss is so beautiful.

“‘Did you watch those topes because you’re sad again?’

‘No.’

Miles ran his hand through Jonah’s hair, methodically, slowly.

‘Why did Mom have to die?’

Miles closed his yees. ‘I don’t know.’

. . . ‘I wish she was still here.’

‘So do I.’

‘She’s never coming back.’ A statement, not a question.”

(pg. 320)

That hit the heart 🥺.

It’s never easy to lose anyone, and it’s not easy to navigate how to go on when you lose someone you love with your whole heart. I don’t think it ever will or gets easier, but we all experience grief, loss, and pain. We all handle and feel it differently, and sometimes it can be messy, complicated, and scary. But many times I have found we need to allow ourselves to move on, and moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or leaving a person behind, but it means moving on in life by taking that person with you in what you do or who you are. It’s not about moving on and losing a person, it’s continuing with their spirit by your side. We have to allow ourselves to heal and realize we deserve to be happy and to carry on at one point. I also feel like this was the moment of Miles acceptance phase in his grief because he knew Missy wasn’t coming back and he had to let go of things he clutched tightly like a vise so he could move on and be happy. Not that he wasn’t forgetting Missy because he wasn’t, but he had her with him and in his heart. She was still there even when she didn’t feel like it.

Sometimes life also has these bends in the road that we don’t see, and those bends can be daunting, terrifying, and earth-shattering, but we have to trust in the road ahead and hope that we are on the right path towards the destination or place we need to be. I don’t know, for some reason I think of the Bless The Broken Road song when I think of the book. I’ll leave that interoperation up to you.

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? 

Have you ever moved to a new place to start over?

What did you think of the book? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕

I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.

And as always, with love,

Rating

3.87 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: You’re heart will melt for Jonah, break for Miles, and mend with Sarah’s

Plot: I loved the mix of mystery, romance, family, and heart.

Writing: I felt there were scenes that could have felt more show rather than tell, but the writing was good and easy to follow along. The beginning felt kind of slow with all the backstory.

Romance: Heartbreakingly sweet