Instructions For Dancing by Nicola Yoon Book Review
“Given enough time all love stories turn into heartbreak stories.”
(pg. 51)
About
Author: Nicola Yoon
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
Other Books by Nicola Yoon: Everything, Everything and The Sun is Also a Star
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Synopsis
Evie Thomas doesn’t believe in love anymore. Especially after the strangest thing occurs one otherwise ordinary afternoon: She witnesses a couple kiss and is overcome with a vision of how their romance began . . . and how it will end. After all, even the greatest love stories end with a broken heart, eventually.
As Evie tries to understand why this is happening, she finds herself at La Brea Dance studio, learning to waltz, fox-trot, and tango with a boy named X. X is everything that Evie is not: adventurous, passionate, daring. His philosophy is to say yes to everything–including entering a ballroom dance competition with a girl he’s only just met.
Falling for X is definitely not what Evie had in mind. If her visions of heartbreak have taught her anything, it’s that no one escapes love unscathed. But as she and X dance around and toward each other, Evie is forced to question all she thought she knew about life and love. In the end, is love worth the risk?
Review
Spoilers Contained Below
To all those with infinity hips,
The last time I read a Nicola Yoon book, I was sixteen. It’s been four or five years, and my GOSH did I just miss her writing! I forgot how much I love her writing style, and it was just magnificent—chef’s kisses 😘👌🏼. I literally wrote in my notes, “Nicola Yoon didn’t come here to play! She said,” Strong first chapter.” I love the way Nicola Yoon says more than enough with a few words, and how you can pick up on the vibe or the situation of the characters in the span of a few pages. I honestly aspire to be as strong and beautiful a writer as Nicola Yoon 💙.
Honestly, it has been an honor to have my heart been ripped apart by Nicola Yoon and sewed back together in the span of 281 pages. An absolute honor.
This book was wow. It was such a delight and it brought me so much joy and healing. I hope it brought Nicola Yoon the same joy and healing when she wrote it. I know Nicola Yoon wrote another book after writing The Sun is Also a Star, but after that book was published, many things happened in Nicola Yoon and her families’ lives. She absolutely did not need to disclose anything to her readers because she deserves her privacy, but I just want her to know that her readers will always be here for her, and that focusing on yourself and those closest to you is what matters. I hope she knows how much I admire her for writing through her hard times and then making the decision to scrap that book because it didn’t feel right. It’s not easy to push aside a project you worked hard on. But I listened to the First Draft podcast where she said that book just didn’t feel right to her, and sometimes we write and it’s not the best thing we ever wrote. It’s okay. It was refreshing to hear that because I write all the time and in the back of my mind, I think about all these fabulous, amazing authors and how they just seem to pour out in perfect, magical words. But to know they also struggle sometimes and that not every book hits the shelves, reminded me that they are just storytellers and writers who are trying their best. Thank you Nicola for continuing to write what is honest and true to your heart. I felt it.
I’ll link the podcast below just in case you want to give it a listen! I highly recommend 😊. Nicola Yoon and Sarah Enni are a joy!
Anyway, instructions For Dancing wasn’t what I thought it was going to be–in the best way. I didn’t read the synopsis because when I have favorite authors, I just automatically buy the book. Also, it’s more surprising to go into a book without knowing 😊. I thought this was going to be a love story about two people who fall in love from dancing together, which I guess was what happened. But it was sooooo much more than that.
Yvette, or Evie was going through the GUTTER in the beginning of the book.
And gosh, when I tell you I have never related more to a character, I tell you I have never related more to a character than I did with Evie. I felt seen. I felt dissected. Sometimes I felt bothered by how honest Evie felt because it was every emotion or question I also cycled through when I was ten.
Evie’s dad cheated on her mom and Evie saw it. Evie walked into her dad’s office one day and saw him macking on another woman–his co-worker–named Shirley. My goodness, when I read that, my heart dropped. Sank. Splunk. Plopped. 🥺 Her mom and dad were having issues beforehand—fighting and the usual disagreements–but she didn’t think that they stopped loving each other or that they would for that manner. So to see her dad kissing another woman, it shook her world.
My parents also didn’t have the best relationship. They would argue a lot even though they thought my siblings and I didn’t know. We heard. As a kid, a part of me always knew they would break-up (I didn’t know what divorce was yet), and I was terrified that it would happen, that I developed anxieties and OCD tendencies because I felt scared. I would check the door all the time, making sure it was locked like somehow that would keep everyone under the same roof. I would constantly spend time with my family to soak up every minute we had as a family . . . because I knew it was going to happen—the inevitable—I just didn’t know when. I remember the day very clearly with every detail. Psychology says children or people tend to remember the worst or most pivotal moments in their life. They were right. The door opened, and one of my parents walked out that day crying. He came back, but after that . . . they broke up. They divorced.
What happened was my mother cheated on my dad. What sucks was being ten, eleven, or twelve and scrolling through social media with your sister in her room looking for who. And being the sleuths we were, we knew who. And it hurt. You know? To see the person you loved go out with a man who looks nothing like your dad and you wonder what happened. Or you wonder was it never going to be them—were they never each other’s true love. It was the first time I questioned what true love was. . I had seen love from all my Disney movies, thinking love lasted forever—you meet someone, you marry, you have kids. Happily ever after, right? It felt wrong that it wasn’t and that every movie or book I read felt like a lie. Love ended. Sometimes love cheated.
Love hurt.
“I’ve seen enough heartbreak to know that life almost never turns out the way you think.'”
(pg. 101)
This was everything Evie felt too. She didn’t believe in love anymore, so she got rid of all her romance novels. I could really feel her pain like my own; I was taken back to how I felt when I first found out. I was too young to read romance novels at that age, but I thought it was pretty darn symbolic that Evie gave away her romance novels because it felt like she gave up on love because everything she thought it to be, wasn’t true anymore. How could you not think that when everything you knew about love or looked up to, wasn’t real anymore?
It was also extremely difficult because Evie and her mom were the only ones who knew the truth about what the dad did. Danica had this pristine image of her dad, and just knew the mom and him divorced. Danica and the mom acted like nothing changed when everything changed in their life, and that made Evie angry because she wanted them to feel what she felt. Evie felt alone in feeling overwhelmed and saddened by the changes. I get that. My brother and sister were there with me because they knew the truth. It was easier to have them by my side when I felt angry, lost, and confused. I wanted to hug Evie. I mean, she moved houses, she harbored a secret from her sister, and she lost a parental figure in some way. That’s not easy. And pushing it under a rug like nothing happened wasn’t making it better.
Later in the book, Evie had a heart to heart with her mom about how the mom acted strong for Evie and Danica because parents were the ones who were supposed to be strong and look after their children. But honestly, we need to normalize that parents are just older kids and that they are people. They don’t have all the answers, they make mistakes, and they can’t always be strong.
“Everyone says there’s a moment in your life when your parent becomes more than just a parent and becomes a real person. They never said how scary that moment would be. And wonderful too.”
(pg. 257)
Gosh, did I FEEL that to my bones.
The day I realized my parents were just real people was when they divorced. I realized parents could mess up, they could cry, and they could be lost. They didn’t know everything. It was a rude awakening that I needed, maybe not at that age, but I do believe we all have that day when we have this epiphany. Mine was just earlier than most and harsher, but I had it. I put my parents on a pedestal—as people tend to do when they are younger—because they were the main adult figures in my life who I trusted. They were the ones who brought me into this world and raised me, so of course I thought they were everything and that they were some higher-beings. But there’s something that shifts when you realize parents are just people. It becomes this shared understanding then that you two are on the same level—they aren’t better or superior to you—just older. Sometimes older doesn’t mean wiser or better. It is a scary moment because it shatters the rainbow glasses you had of them, but it’s also beautiful because you can understand them more—connect. I felt that was what Evie was doing with her mom.
Evie understood the sacrifices, choices, and decisions she made to protect her daughters. You realize how much more a parent is when they are forced into an unknown position in life, and how much they earned their title.
“A thing I never noticed before: She only refers to him as ‘your father’ these days instead of ‘your dad.'”
(pg. 154)
I told you Nicola Yoon wrote to my soul 🤪.
Gosh, I was nodding my head when I read the quote above.
It’s funny because it’s true. When my parents divorced and everything fell apart, I started calling my mom, mother. I don’t know when, but I just did. I think part of it was a jab at her because I didn’t feel like she was the same person anymore to warrant being called my mom–not after everything. So I thought that taking away that title from her would be a way to somewhat hurt her the way she hurt me. I never knew other people also did this title switch until I looked it up just now. But I think we stop calling them mom or dad because a mom or dad are people who we trust completely and who raise us with their whole hearts. There’s just something more intimate about a mom or dad—people who stick around and stay rather than a mother or father who can leave. Because anyone can be a mother or father by helping to raise children, but to be a mom or dad means you have been there and you have earned that name. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s how I have come to think of it as I got older and understood my feelings.
Mom comes from the Sanskrit word ohm, which means fluid and word, so basically a mom is someone who grew you. A mother is a cause that be. A mom can grow you, but I think it depends on the situation if she then becomes a mother. The same (I think) would go for a dad. I just found it interesting this whole name switch thing and how much it goes along with navigating being a child of divorced parents.
“‘Isn’t that the one good thing about being a grown-up? You know better?'”
(pg. 166)
But ultimately Evie felt angry.
Specifically with the dad.
“‘It’s one thing that he cheated on Mom, but I feel like he betrayed my idea of him too.'”
(pg. 149)
Exactly.
She had every right to be angry. He cheated. She felt betrayed by this perfect image she had of her dad.
And as much as she wanted to be angry at her dad, you could feel how much she wanted to not be. I understood this too. Deep down, no matter how much we hurt we feel towards a parent or someone we loved, we will always have that love and it’s natural to want to love that person. I could feel Evie warring with herself to not love her dad, but he was her dad. It was just a complex relationship. I felt Evie was angry at her dad because he also hurt their Mom and hurt their family without really thinking about how it would impact or how it would seem to them. I think anger is closely tied to hurt.
No matter how angry Evie was mad at the dad, I liked that he kept trying—kept reaching out. He was very patient—as he should be—with Evie. He would call her to ask her to go to places and whenever she turned him down, he tried again. It highlighted how he still loved her and valued her to fix their relationship; he would always love his daughters. It was easier for him to connect with Danica because she didn’t know the truth. But Evie, he had to work on. Similar to my situation, my mother never gave up on reaching out to me no matter how angry I was either. I was freaking furious and hurt, and honestly I don’t blame my younger self for being PEEZED off 🤪. I will say, I did things or said things that weren’t the nicest at the time and I look back and think that my actions and words weren’t okay, but I was ten going on however many years I needed to grieve and heal, I don’t think there was a correct way for me to react at the time. But I will acknowledge I wasn’t my best self towards my mother because I felt angry and hurt.
I do think there needs to be a grace period, though. As a child who has divorced parents, specifically parents who cheated, I think the parent needs to give the kids a bit of space at first to be angry and to heal. I know when I was forced into seeing my mother or going out with her and her new life, it made things worse for me. I already had to move and adjust to this new dynamic at home, and then I had to see my mother, who used to very well live with me, now live a neighborhood away in her new house with a new man and that was a lot that I wasn’t ready for when I barely had boobs or a period 🤪. Like, a sis wasn’t ready for that (to see my mother’s new life, not the boobs or a period, but I mean who is ever ready for the day they get their first period?). I digress 😂. When I was forced into situations to see her early on, I was frothing and steaming. I would have gone kicking and screaming, heck I went crying out of those situations because I wasn’t ready. I was uncomfortable, I was still hurt and seeing her still hurt me. I was mad and seeing her just reminded me of how mad I was at her for ruining everything that I thought she did at the time. I was bothered by how well she was doing in her fancy new house wit her gadgets and boyfriend and new dog. It just felt like she was moving on well and here I was stuck trying to understand how love could fall apart and how to feel about that. I was also angry that I was in my prime middle school years. I was AWKWARD, I was hormonal, I was a mess, I was overwhelmed. I mean middle school SUCKS 😆. Throw in a divorce and it’s SUCKIER. And it was hard for me to look at all my friends spending time together, all happy and innocent while I battled everything at home and by myself. I didn’t tell my friends about the divorce because none of their parents were serrated and I didn’t feel like they would understand. I also wasn’t ready to talk about it. I had to move and none of my friends had to move in their life. I just felt alone and hurt. I wasn’t angry at my friends, just a bit jealous that they seemed to have it easier at the time.
“Sometimes the only thing to say about a period of time is that it’s passing and that you’re surviving it.”
(pg. 251)
Suffice to say, I would have liked for my family to have given me space and time to go to my mother when I was ready. And I felt like Evie needed time too. But I think if a parent keeps reaching out, it shows that they still want to be in your life as compared with if they don’t reach out. So I get it.
The dad went to their new apartment one night—their Taco night Thursday—to spend time with Evie. I liked how easy their camaraderie was with their jokes. I felt like Evie wanted to hate spending time with her dad, but she missed having him in her life. Then there was the whole he was getting remarried thing and gosh, did I just want to hug her🥺!
I don’t know what it’s like to have a parent remarry, but I can imagine it’s not as easy as seeing your parents divorce. I think it must hurt even more right after the dad and mom divorced because it just felt like love couldn’t be real if the dad found it again so soon. I didn’t blame Evie for telling her dad she wouldn’t go to his wedding. Gosh, I wouldn’t 😂. I mean, being older now, I would, but if I was ten or fifteen, I wouldn’t have because it would feel almost unnatural seeing your parents find happiness again after all the pain it brought. But through X, Evie thought about it and decided to go. That was before she changed her mind and decided not to go again.
Honestly, my favorite scenes of the book were the heart-to-heart moments with her parents. I loved that Nicola Yoon included such intimate and needed conversations between Evie and the two figures she needed to heal with. I l melted at Evie’s heart-to-heart with her dad 🥺💙.
I loved how Evie was described as being tired. Gosh, it is tiring. I loved how she asked her dad all the questions she wondered after he cheated and divorced from the Mom. I mean, she had to be curious about why he did it. How the dad explained it was something similar to how I thought of my parents divorce. I learned that sometimes love changes—that you could love someone madly at first, and then over time that love call dwindles or falls apart.
It’s scary how relatable this sentence was 😢:
“He goes on. ‘Your mom and I weren’t happy anymore.'”
(pg. 246)
It boggled my mind as a ten year old how my parents weren’t happy together anymore because it seemed like if they were happy once, why couldn’t they be happy now. I didn’t know what they argued about (I kind of did), but I didn’t know every single detail that they felt, said, or did that led to them not being happy anymore. I probably won’t because divorce happens. But I used to think that it was selfish and wrong for the person to cheat because it is wrong and I’m not saying anyone should cheat. But reflecting on my parent’s relationship and how I knew they would inevitably split, I understood why my mother cheated. At the time, I didn’t. But I understood it a couple years back in high school when I was still processing everything—these things never fully leave you. But I realized she was just doing what she needed to do to get out of a situation that wasn’t happy anymore and cheating felt like the only way she could leave or be happy without simply walking away because that would hurt us more.
“But then I remember that she did what was best for everyone, including herself.”
(pg. 276)
I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s the thoughts I have come to terms with. She did what she did even if it was wrong because she wasn’t happy and who was I to be angry at her for wanting to split from a relationship that was making her sad and unhappy. Doesn’t mean she should have done it the way she did, but I would have understood it eventually if she did say she just wanted a divorce from the get-go. She was human. People want to be happy and they should be. So, like the quote above, maybe she did what was best for everyone, including herself. Because after my parents divorced, there were no more anxious feelings of my parents fighting, there was less tension, and things felt lighter. Harder, but lighter.
Evie’s dad wanted to be happy and he should be. Was he right to cheat? Absolutely not. But was he happy?
Evie needed to hear her dad apologize for his wrong, but I understood why she couldn’t forgive him at the time or if she could forgive him. It’s hard.
“‘If you get very, very lucky in this life, then you get to love another person so hard and so completely that when you lose them, it rips you apart. I think the pain is the proof of a life well lived and loved.'”
(pg. 248)
RIP MY HEART OUT NICOLA YOON 🥺 💔.
I mean, wow.
I loved the last part of that quote because it made me think of my grandma’s who I lost within the last three years and how painful it was for our family. I was sad because they were the first people close to me that I lost, and this quote reminded me that I felt pained because I loved them and that they had a life well lived. They were well loved. Even with people in my life—my mother or friends I fell out with—I felt pained when they left because I loved them and the life we shared. But I’m reminded that some people come into your life for a reason and a season to teach you something and they leave to enter someone else’s life for a reason and a season. It’s a cycle. And if we’re really, really lucky, we have people who stay in our life for seasons to come who become our reason 💙.
I just really loved this conversation.
In the end, Evie did go to her dad’s wedding because she realized she didn’t want to miss it because the wedding and Shirley mattered to him. Before the wedding, she went with Danica to the bridal shower where Danica’s mother gave a speech about Shirley and how happy the mom was that Shirley met the Dad. There was a hint in Shirley’s mom’s speech about how Shirley had been through some things, and I was curious what her past relationships were like 🧐. As the speech continued, Evie had all the philosophical ponderings, which I loved. She thought about love and where did all her Dad’s love go? How did love work? While watching the whole speech, Evie saw how much Shirley loved her Dad and how she was so angry at the situation to recognize their happiness. That’s something I relate to as well–we get blinded by our anger to see the other side of the situation.
When Evie started to cry, I know it wasn’t just about seeing her Dad and Shirley together, it was probably part being angry at how happy he was and happy with how happy he was. I mean, it feels unsettling to see someone you love love someone else. I liked how Shirley was the one to check on Evie in the bathroom and how she took the initiative to clear the air with Evie, or at least try to. I didn’t think Shirley was a bad person, I think the situation just sucked.
“It occurs to me that an unhappy ending for one person can mean a happy beginning for another.”
(pg. 207-8)
This quote reminded me of the saying: “How one door closes and another one opens.”
Just because there wasn’t a happily ever after for one couple, doesn’t mean it’s never going to be happiness ever.
“It was beautiful. It was sad too. Both things, and at the same time. I don’t know why so much of life is like that.”
(pg. 208)
The juxtaposition of life.
It’s amazing what we feel simultaneously.
Before going to the wedding, Danica went to Evie’s room with two dresses—loved the chapter title connection—and Evie and Danica had this nice little chat. Danica was a character I would have loved to know more about or hear more of what she had to say. Being the youngest, she probably had a lot she felt too with the divorce. I think instead of getting angry at the world, Danica’s way of adjusting was dating all these guys because it distracted her or maybe it was her way of trying to call for attention. It could have also been Danica’s way of just wanting a male figure in her life because it sounded like she knew she deserved better. It was interesting how Evie viewed her sister as the prettier one who had it all together. I don’t know about you, but I have a sister and in my eyes she was always the prettier one that everyone notably pointed out. It’s hard not to feel less than your sister when people compare you so much you start to compare yourself to your siblings all the time.
I liked how Danica and Evie did have cute sisterly moments like when Danica helped Evie get ready for a date with the whole Dr. Danica make-up and hair guru thing. I loved that. I also liked how Martin, Evie’s best friend, had a huge crush on Danica but never acted on it out of respect for his friendship with Evie. Also, it was never the right time for Martin to ask out Danica when she had all these boyfriends. Martin seemed like a nice guy and I was happy he was going to shoot his shot and that Danica might just say yes 🥺. We never got a definite yes for if Danica and Martin do go out, but I can hope 🤞🏼.
But back to their conversation before the wedding, Danica asked Evie if the dad ever cheated/had an affair. I think Danica just wanted to understand why Evie was so mad at their dad; it would make sense that Evie was angry because the dad cheated. At that moment, Evie had to decide what to tell her sister. I don’t know what I would have done, but I respected that Evie didn’t want to ruin Danica’s image of the dad given all the hurt she hurdled through.
“Some illusions don’t need shattering.”
(pg. 267)
I think Danica deserves to know the truth one day, and that her dad should be the one to be honest with her. However, I think Evie was just protecting her and I loved that she chose her sister’s happiness.
None of these moments with her family would have happened if she hadn’t found the book.
When getting rid of her contemporary romances in the beginning of the book, Evie stumbled upon this book exchange library tree thing where you give a book and take a book. Evie was going to leave all her books at the tree, but this magical mysterious woman showed up out of nowhere and told Evie to take the book Instructions For Dancing. My first thought was, “It’s always a creepy mysterious woman!” 🤪 I’m talking to you Again, But Better 😉. She gave me chilling vibes—something just felt off about her being there one second and gone the next. I loved how Nicola Yoon captured that feeling well.
So Evie now had this random dancing book that seemed pretty much useless to her until she saw people kissing. When she sees a couple kiss for the first time, she can see the couple’s beginning, middle, and end—how their love began, how it’s going, and how it ends. That’s pretty cool, but also pretty bonkers! The romantic in me loves the idea of seeing everyone’s meet cutes and the romantic shared moments in between. But the end? That has to hurt 🙁. Evie didn’t know what her powers meant or what it was, but she knew she didn’t like knowing how love ended, especially when a love had recently ended in her life. Evie talked to Martin about her visions because he was the only one open-minded enough to not think she was weird, and Martin told her to go to the address that was in the Instructions For Dancing book because it could be some sort of sign. So that’s what she did.
And there, we met X. The 24th letter in the alphabet 🤪. I’m joking, we met the person, Xavier, or X for short. It’s a cool name, different, but cool.
He struck me as cool. He had suave, swagger, and spice. He also seemed like a nice guy who might have gotten–literally—off on the wrong foot with Evie. Evie was resistant to liking X because of her newfound cynicism and disbelief in love, which was understandable.
“Because in every romance book ever written, banter is a gateway drug. Banter leads to actual conversation, which leads to dating, which leads to kissing, which leads to coupling, which leads to heartbreak.”
(pg. 74)
I mean, she’s not really wrong.
But I loved how Nicola Yoon wrote about Evie’s emotions towards love based on what she knew about romance novels. I thought that was such a fun touch! I loved all the moments from what a shipwrecked genre was, the meet cutes, and the grand gestures. We love romantic tropes 💙.
X and Evie were roped into competing in an amateur dance competition to help save the dance studio, which was owned by X’s grandparents, Archibald and Maggie. They were the bees knees! I loved how much they loved each other. When we saw their vision later on in the book, it made my heart immensely sad 🥺. I loved how they met each other at a dance competition, how they started a family, then Archibald bought Maggie a studio because they started a family first. Then they were at some funeral, and the last vision was them together in bed, looking at each other. With other visions, Evie usually saw some sort of inevitable break-up, which I could understand would make her even more skeptical about love. The power couple of her school eventfully will break up because of being in separate colleges, which was sad because that tends to happen in college. Her best friends Sophie and Cassidy were also another vision that brought her a lot of heartache. She saw Sophie and Cassidy dating, but then breaking up by a pool. Their breakup would ruin their plans to all go on a road trip after graduation. Because Evie saw the vision, she pushed Sophie and Cassidy away at one point because she didn’t want their friendship group to break up or change, and I was like, “Sis, you just changed the dynamic by pushing them away!” 🤪 They eventually talked everything out and how Evie was scared what would happen if they broke up—which she knew would happen—but Sophie and Cassidy told her to be happy for them in the moment and that she couldn’t know they would break up. If I was Sophie and Cassidy, Evie’s doubt of their relationship working out would make me feel unsupportive. Sophie and Cassidy did break up because both felt like they weren’t good enough to be with the other and they were starting to get irritable with each other. It changed the friendship dynamic for sure—no road trip. That sucked.
But I think if there’s anything we can learn from this book, it’s to enjoy what we have in the moment and the time we spend with people we love.
“‘People don’t come back, Evie. The time we get is the time we get.'”
(pg. 171)
Evie realized that she couldn’t change the inevitable, but she could enjoy the time she had with her friends before things changed. Because things do change.
“But as much as I want to, I can’t stop the world from changing. Time passes. People change. Lives move on.”
(pg. 265)
We can’t stop the fact that life changes, people change, and things happen. This was a lesson I especially grasped in the last year with the pandemic. Before everything happened, I realized how much we might have taken for granted with going out without thinking about the germs or repercussions about being near people. I didn’t realize how lucky I was to be in a school, meeting people, having experiences—regretting all the experiences I turned away from. I didn’t realize how fortunate I was to hug friends or be with family without the fear of getting them sick or putting them at risk. I realized how much had changed. We need to cherish the time we have even if things change. Because we should. It’s hard and it’s not easy—change is never easy—but we all find a new sense of normal or a feeling of being okay after a while.
X lost a friend recently in a pedestrian accident, and he started to live by saying yes to things (within reason), which I just loved. I loved how he gave Evie the courage to say yes. They entered the competition together, which was by all means sort of crazy amazing. I mean, she literally went from reader to ammeter dancer 👏🏼! Love that for them!!
I loved the first dance class scene where they learned infinity hips 😆. I have never heard of infinity hips in my life, but I’ve watched Dancing With The Stars since I was five, so I think I know what it is. I’m imagining Derek Hough doing the rumba or something when he moves his hips in a dramatic way, but it makes sense to me why it would be called infinity hips or something like that. Ah, ballroom dancing 💙!!! How fun! I love dancing because I grew up a dancer–ballet and jazz. I wasn’t a good dancer, but I danced 😂. I loved Evie’s commitment and dedication to dance because she didn’t really need to enter the competition if she didn’t want to.
Gosh, but I LOVED Fifi!! She gave me Mrs. Darbus vibes mixed with my old ballet teacher 😆. I loved the French accent and how she told them they dressed like hobos, they had to dance for their supper, and that they had to earn music!! She was a joy 😁. I loved how she told X and Evie to get to know each other, because you know, it wouldn’t be a romantic book if the main couple didn’t have some sort of get-to-know-you moment. I thought it was cute how X wanted to do a Hollywood tour. To Evie, it was cheesy because she grew up in California, but it’s amazing the things we don’t do because we label them as ‘lame.’ I find it funny because I do it a bit too, where if it’s too ‘touristy’ I don’t do it because I’m supposed to be local to where I’m from. I don’t know, do you do that? But I’m trying to be better about saying who the heck cares and doing touristy things anyway because heck, if it’s fun, it’s fun. I liked how they also played pool together. My favorite moment of them together was when they were at Surf City Waffles and they wrote a song together. I thought that was cute 💙.
The ending dance competition was cute . . .until you know, Nicola Yoon just casually committed murder 😆.
I loved the whole prom-esque vibes of Evie walking out in her dance regalia, and X in his tux. I loved how they danced with their hearts and left it all out on the stage, it was because Evie finally let herself feel the love she had for X.
“Love is too small, too singular a word for the feeling it’s trying to hold. Just one word isn’t enough, so I want to use them all. Sometimes I think love is the reason language was invented.
(pg. 218)
I loved this quote because love is such a powerful force that I wouldn’t be surprised if language was invented to communicate how much we love.
I also loved loved loved this quote:
“Maybe the whole point of love is to make more of itself.”
(pg. 218)
Well said, Nicola Yoon, well said 💙🥺.
But during the dance, X and Evie kissed, and she had a vision. . . AND GOSH!!!!!!!
Nicola Yoon stabbed my heart with the fact that the funeral in Archibald and Maggie’s vision was X’s. LIKE WHAT THE FREAK!!!! 💔
If I was Evie I would have ran away from that dance hall too without a second glance back. The girl just accepted how much she loved this man and now she was going to lose him!!! After all we’ve built to getting her to love again, and I JUST COULD NOT. I wanted to hug her 🥺. You know what made it sort of worse? When Fifi texted her after the competition, and she was like I’m proud of you. I WAS ALREADY CRYING, EXCUSE YOU 😭.
***Why, she asked in a whimper. ***
Not, X.
No.
“Grief to me feels like an endless landscape of white light. No secrets. And no surprises either.
You can see clearly all you have lost.
Everything that’s no longer there.”
(pg. 250)
Wow. That hit.
The ending had a melancholy feel with Evie trying to work through knowing X was going to pass away and that things were continuing to change. She graduated. It was bittersweet how everything was playing out how her visions foresaw it. Cassidy was going to go to Japan, where she would eventually meet an Asian girl. Sophie was going to college with the valedictorian, Olivia, whom I assume will be Sophie’s new love interest. I know when I graduated, it felt odd that I spent the past four years or more with the same people everyday for us to never see each other anymore. It was something I didn’t understand or fully get adjusted to until my second year of college, because I missed high school and the amazing people we met. Oh, can we also shout out Olivia and her punny speech 😂. Her speech was gouda 😉.
But there was also the talk at the end with the mom—the one I mentioned earlier. I want to talk about it again because the mom knew something was up with her and X, but she didn’t know what. And they had their whole heart to heart moment, but there was something in that scene I loved so much that I felt it was best to save it for now.
“Mom said just because a thing ends, doesn’t make the thing any less real. Just because everything is different now, doesn’t mean we didn’t love each other one. Maybe we will again.”
(pg. 263)
I loved that 💙.
This quote connects back to all the changes she experienced in the past year, and to her all things were coming to an end—her parent’s relationship, high school, and her friend group. Endings are difficult and they have this sense of despondent finality. But I think about the other quote Nicola Yoon wrote about how an unhappy ending could be someone else’s happy beginning–when one door closes (when one thing ends), another one opens (a new thing begins). And everything that was wrapping up in this chapter in Evie’s life, was just making way for a new chapter. In the pages of this chapter, everything she felt was real and the love was still there. Just because it wasn’t in the same way she once knew it or wanted it, it didn’t mean it had to be gone, nor was it gone forever. I think that’s something I need to remember more. When all my friends left for college, it was different. We still loved each other, but naturally, we did drift. Doesn’t mean what we shared all these years wasn’t real, but it changed.
Change happens.
I feel like the Instruction For Dancing book wasn’t even about getting her to learn how to dance, but bringing her to where she needed to be. I loved the full circle moment back at that tree with the library bird-house thing 😂 and the old woman.
“‘I gave you the power to see love. The heartbreak is just one part of it. It’s not all of it. Why did you only focus on the ending?’
‘Because it’s the most important part.’
‘Is it?’ she asks. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be a curse, Evie. It was supposed to be a gift.’
. . . . I think back to all the visions I’ve seen.
There’s more love in each and every one than there is heartbreak.”
(pg. 271-2)
I loved this scene 💙.
Because it’s hard not to focus on the ending. As a reader, I will say I like a good ending. I like to predict what will happen to the couple or the people in a book. Most of the time, we will guess it’s a happily ever after, in reality it’s not always that way. Endings are the best part—for better or worse. But we need to focus on the love and beauty of the story because when they say it’s the journey and not the view, they meant it. Life’s a climb, but the view’s great. I mean, we can all pretty much guess the ending of a book or movie, but yet we read the book or watch the movie because we enjoy the story that leads up to where a person or situation goes. It’s the best part. But Evie was so focused on the sad endings to see all the happy beginnings or middles. This goes back to how we need to be present and enjoy what we have now. Things change. I recently read something, I forget what, but it also had this live in the moment lesson where I thought about how sometimes we can be so caught up ruminating about the past or daydreaming about the future, that we miss the present and everything we have now. We should be present. Cliche, but it’s a gift.
I loved when Evie went to X at the end. Evie left her dad’s wedding early to do her grand gesture to X. I loved her whole speech and how she wanted to spend time with him now while she could. She wouldn’t worry about the future, as much as it will pain her as it does us all.
“It doesn’t matter that love ends. It just matters that there’s love.”
(pg. 278)
Exactly 👌🏼.
In Rebecca Serle’s In Five Years, there’s this quote:
“Love does not require a future.”
I remember reading that a while back and being taken aback. Like, wow. She’s right. And so is Nicola Yoon. Love may end, but all that matters is that there was love shared between people—family, friends, romantic relationships, dogs, pets, etc. Love is love. And love doesn’t need a future to exist as long as you keep loving them in your heart. I just thought this Rebecca Serle quote fit beyond well with the sentiment of love Nicola Yoon captured.
Honestly, this was the cathartic healing I never knew I needed, but glad I had. Instructions for Dancing has my whole heart and so does Nicola Yoon’s writing 💙.
Anyway, what was your favorite part of the book? Least favorite part? What is your favorite type of dance? I like ballet and contemporary (unsurprising because I love contemporary romances 🤪). But for ballroom I like watching a good jazz routine or a cha cha because those are always fun.
Anything I mentioned that you want to discuss more about? Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from you all 💕
I hope you have a beautiful day whenever and wherever you might be reading this 😊.
And as always, with love,
Rating
5 Full Bloom Flowers
Characters: I could relate to Evie like no other and I love seeing her on this journey towards finding the meaning of love and finding it herself.
Writing: Like a cha cha and a smooth waltz all in one. What a queen, what a dream! 👑
Plot: Had me dancing, then crawling in a corner to cry, then getting back up to dance again
Romance: X-cellent and X-crutiating😂 (I’m cracking up at myself. I think I’m clever 🤪)