My Ideal Boyfriend Is A Croissant By Laura Dockrill Book Review

“I am proud to be a girl. Because that’s a fact. But prouder that I love myself. Because that’s a choice.”

(pg. 294)

About

Author: Laura Dockrill

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary

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Synopsis

It’s a food diary. I have to tell the truth. That’s the point.

Sixteen-year-old Bluebelle, also known as BB or Big Bones, lives her life unapologetically. She loves life! She loves food!

When BB has a worse-than-usual asthma attack, her mom insists she go to the doctor. There, she is told that she is overweight (no surprise) and prediabetic (big surprise) and must lose weight, move more, and keep a food diary. To get out of this immediate health crisis, she agrees to make an effort.

Then a tragedy occurs in the family, and things get seriously complicated. Suddenly, losing weight and moving more are the least of her worries. As for the food diary, though, BB doesn’t just document what she’s eating, she documents what she’s feeling–and she has a lot to say!

Review

Spoilers Contained Below

To all those of different shapes and sizes,

I have absolutely been loving all the body positivity in books. If I’m being honest what drew me to buy this book and read it was the title. I mean, what a title! It’s cute, bubbly, creative, and fun. And the girl in the photo is so beautiful with a smile that radiates like sunshine!!! I absolutely loved everything about it and had to read it 💛.

Bluebell, Big Bones, BB, or whatever you want to call her is someone who lives unapologetically. She is bold and brazen and she is proud of who she is no matter her shape and size. AND I LOVED THAT!!! I think that most times if people make plus-sized people as these individuals who feel ashamed or bad about his/her weight and that he/she wants to lose it. But Bluebell is the exact opposite of that. I loved how she genuinely enjoyed eating and that she never let anyone make her feel bad about who she was no matter who ridiculed her for her size or gave her the side eye. She loved who she was and I think that no one should EVER take anyones self-love away from them. It’s so hard to love yourself, especially in this day and age with the idealized images of beauty that society has, but times have been changing with body inclusivity and people of different races, cultures, and sizes in the media, (which I’ve also been loving and living for) so to just feel how sure and proud Bluebell was of herself was profound.

“What I see in the mirror is a BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY, young woman with a positive attitude towards food.”

(pg. 21)

I just loved when she said this too, because even if you are bigger than other girls or boys, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or eat lots of junk food, but maybe that’s just your genetics and how you’re supposed to be. Nothing’s wrong with that. And I think it’s only wrong that we see bigger girls and boys and assume they are lazy or eat lots of junk food; It’s wrong to clump people into a box and say that they are the way they are because of a few individuals.

Something that just made me ache throughout this entire book was the utmost rudeness of people towards Bluebell. There was the nurse who told her to write the food diary of what she ate so Bluebell could prove to her that she ate clean. Then there was the mum who kind of poked fun at Bluebell’s weight all the time and wanted her to eat healthier and join a gym. From the mother’s perspective, though, I could understand why she would be hard on her daughter because maybe she just wanted her daughter to live a long, happier life, and so she was concerned. But that concern transferred as snide comments. So I got it from the mom’s perspective, but I think the way she could have pushed Bluebell to be healthier should have been done in a nicer manner. There was also Alicia from Plants Coffee who would make the RUDEST comments out of everyone that she wouldn’t even be aware of and I was very turned off by her. Like Bluebell held Alicia’s hair back when she was vomiting and then she had the NERVE to double to say some rude comments about Bluebell’s body later. Who does that? ☹️ I also didn’t like how Alicia would tell Bluebell she looked like she lost weight because even though that sounds like a compliment, it’s kind of insulting to tell a person “Oh, you look like you lost weight,” after ten seconds of just telling them they were big. It kind of insinuates that you should lose weight. And who was she to tell someone Bluebell to lose weight when I don’t see a medical degree tied to her name?

I didn’t like that Alicia woman whatsoever.

As much as there were those who hated on Bluebell, there were also those who loved her. There was Camilla or Cam, Bluebell’s best friend who stood up for Bluebell when people gave her looks or made fun of her. But Bluebell was also good at standing up for herself. Then there was Max who worked at Planet Coffee and who we’ll talk more about later. But if there was one person that really loved and accepted Bluebell as herself it was Bluebell’s sister, Dove. I loved Dove because she was such a fun, light-hearted, overactive soul. Can we stop to mention how Dove actually roof hops? Is that even a legit thing? 😆To hop roofs as some school sport? This book takes place in Europe and I’m not cultured in what they do there and I’m not trying to judge, but I’ve just never heard of roof hopping as a sport?! I would never roof hop because that sounds dangerous and scary, but go Dove for flying like her namesake and hopping roofs. I mean, hopping roofs is pretty bad to the bone, am I right?

Anyway, I loved how supportive Dove was of Bluebell and how cute their sisterly relationship was. So when Dove got hurt after falling off a roof——told you it was dangerous—–it really hurt Bluebell. Dove broke both her legs and couldn’t roof hop, move around, or do any sports like she was used to. The whole scene at the hospital after getting the news about Dove highlighted Bluebell in a vulnerable and despondent light. Bluebell stopped texting Max and Cam, which I never understood because it’s not like they did anything wrong to warrant being ghosted by her, but at the same time I could understand how Bluebell would have wanted space to really process everything and just focus on her sister. So I respected that, but not texting back your worried crush whom you left your first date with and your best friend after so many days was kind of rude because they were worried about Dove and Bluebell as well. It broke my heart how Bluebell was in that hospital room and she kept insisting that they let Dove try to walk because they shouldn’t just put her in a wheelchair without giving her a fighting chance. I mean, girl fell off a roof, I’m pretty sure she can’t walk! The mom kept telling Bluebell to stop pushing Dove, but I think Bluebell was hurting because she wasn’t used to seeing her sister so fragile and weak like literally a Dove. Dove was always in motion and very active, so not seeing her full of life and energy made Bluebell uncomfortable and hurt. It makes me think that Bluebell doesn’t like change because it’s weird and when Dove’s life changed from being active to sedentary in some ways, she felt that change transferred to her too.

Dove was a trooper about her legs being broken and found ways to maneuver around the house and she even found sports that included wheelchairs. Good for Dove that she took this in stride.

But for some reason, the one who seemed like she was grieving or lost something was Bluebell. I think the whole despondence from Bluebell after her sister fell off the roof was just kind of off and unwarranted because Bluebell wasn’t the one who had the broken legs or whose whole life changed. It just made me curious and kind of put-off as to the way she was acting in her life when Dove was okay. Again, I think that Bluebell just felt Dove’s hurt like her own hurt so she felt like her life changed for her too. There’s also the fact that I think seeing Dove as broken and sedentary made Bluebell feel guilty. She felt guilty because she was bigger and she took up more space. She felt like it should have been her—–the one with the big bones—–that should have fallen off the roof instead of her petite, skinny sister who was delicate. And I get how Bluebell would feel guilty as the older sister because you never want to see your siblings in pain, but Bluebell had nothing to feel guilty about.

I also think she felt guilty because she could move and do things and Dove couldn’t. Here Bluebell was with her big body that people deemed unhealthy and her sister was the one with broken legs and who was considered skinny and healthy. There was this part when Dove asked Bluebell to promise her to never stop moving her body and to push herself whenever it got hard. Hearing that from her sister, Bluebell realized that she should be active because she was healthy and could do so (had two functioning legs to do so).

She made that promise to Dove. I loved loved loved that.

Part of the story is how if Bluebell writes this food diary and joins a gym, she doesn’t have to continue school and can just do an internship at Planet Coffee. So Bluebell had to ask Alicia for that internship and after holding her hair back when vomiting, Alicia works in Bluebell’s favor to try to get her that internship. The whole time, Bluebell doesn’t join a gym until she makes that promise to Dove.

And if there’s one thing Bluebell does, it’s keep her promises. The moment she put on a bathing suit and looked in the mirror, I was smiling from ear to ear. But when she told herself all these positive affirmations that grin grew so wide my face could have fell off. It was as empowering as it was beautiful. I mean, you have to give yourself some love 💞. I thought it was funny though, how she compared herself to a birthday cake.

My favorite portion of the whole book was when Bluebell made active changes to her life. I LOVED AND THRIVED for it. This goes back to what I said earlier in how people assume that bigger girls or guys are just lazy and eat junk food, but sometimes bigger girls and boys do exercise and eat clean. So to see Bluebell take her confidence a step further from her love of eating to working out was such a fun and beautiful thing to see.

I think Laura Dockrill really did the whole gym experience justice—-very honest and realistic. When going to a gym, it can be very intimidating and daunting because there’s all these other “fit” and strong people there that it can make a person feel smaller and weaker. It can make a person feel nervous to lift the weights or use the machines. because there’s this idea that everyone’s staring or judging you. But for people who are curvier, sometimes that intimidation is a hundred times worse because people are already judging them from the get-go.

When Bluebell went to the gym, the desk girls already gave her those looks like, “What are you doing at the gym?” or “I bet this is a joke,” or all those negative things. I wanted to give them a look because who are you judging?! Their looks put Bluebell off, but she still ended up going to the gym and used the pool to go swimming. She took that time to feel the way her body moved and strained in the water. In the locker room that day, there was this part I loved where she was looking at the mom and the kid. It makes Bluebell start to think about how amazing women’s bodies are in how they change and stretch all throughout life for things like puberty and childbirth and that women have nothing to be embarrassed about for their changing bodies. And it’s such a needed thing to hear because people change, our bodies change, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of with how we look.

“Notice how when we watch a nature program and see fifty elephants washing themselves by a lake and they all look the same to us, but really they are all unique, all have their own quirks and ways—–but we can’t see that; we just see fifty elephants. Well, that’s us showering. In the grand palm of the world, we all look the same; we are all a flock, a species of quiet, beautiful women, just taking a shower, just taking care of ourselves. That’s all.”

(pg. 294)

Not that women are elephants or anything, but that we are similar to them in the way we are each unique but we are all beautiful as one. And it’s crazy how you truly do see elephants or any animals bathing and you think nothing of it because they’re just animals and they’re beautiful in their uniqueness, that you don’t realize that we are animals and we are beautiful too in our uniqueness. We all take care of ourselves the best we can and that’s all we can do. So we need to start looking at ourselves as one and not better than each other because one’s more skinny or one’s got lighter skin or hair. Never forget how unique we all are and to really care for our mind and bodies. But let’s also take care of each other 💛.

I enjoyed the whole part when Bluebell’s mum called her one day and told her to pick up the Greek salad, but then Bluebell was like, “I can’t” and the mom was like “Why not?” Then Bluebell told her she was going to buy a sports bra because she was going to do a spin class at the gym and the mom freaked out and was like “Go, girl! and enjoy spin!” I was living for that! 😆

Truly, you go girl!

I have never taken a spin class in my life but that’s because where I live there are no spin classes, but if I could, I would in a heartbeat! Some people make spin classes sound so fun and it sounds like a great way to work out your whole body. I know some people do Soul Cycle, which I would love to try as well. But I thought it was completely funny and cute how the exercise that Bluebell wanted to do was spin. I mean how fun! When Bluebell walked into that room, she felt really uncomfortable and I understood that. She didn’t feel like she belonged with all those people drinking energy drinks or wearing these cute workout outfits.

When the spin instructor, this rude girl named Ibiza, came in and Bluebell felt like balling. But I was proud of her for staying and for peddling along with all of them. I felt so bad for Bluebell that her bike was broken. Or how she kept thinking about how everyone else was effortlessly spinning and smiling without a bead of sweat. Then Ibiza’s like, “The warm-up done.” I WAS IN HYSTERICS!😂

What made me laugh even more was the fact that Bluebell faked an asthma attack to get out of the rest of the class! 😂 She literally did a spin class warm up, but hey I give her props for trying and even putting herself out there to do that. That takes a lot of guts to be like, “I’m going to try that.” So good for Bluebell! I thought it was cute though that the mom rubbed lotion on her feet even if she was only there for five minutes. The mom even knew how hard Bluebell was trying.

Like everyone, Bluebell felt unmotivated to go to the gym and so there was a brief hiatus where she resented the gym and said she wasn’t going to go back. She said the gym wasn’t for her. And sometimes it’s not. But then her parents were arguing one day at her house and Bluebell felt all these pent up emotions and she was like “Where could I release all this energy?” And she thought of the gym. I was like yes you! The gym is such a good way to release energy in a healthy way so I loved that she decided to go there.

And my friends, that’s the day she actually got through a spin class!!! I WAS GRINNING EAR TO EAR FOR OUR BABY GIRL BLUEBELL!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! 👏🏼👏🏼 I wanted to ride on a bike alongside her and cheer her on. I loved that woman who helped Bluebell before the class with adjusting her bike and giving her pointers! Adelaine Morin said girls supporting girls!

Then a different instructor came into the room and she was an older lady who seemed nicer, but then her shirt came off and her six-pack came out and she started to yell and I was LAUGHING!! I love a strong older woman with a six pack. Nothing’s more empowering than that. I just loved how she screeched out everything and how Bluebell was sweating and was working out and thriving. She pushed herself and she even took her top off because it was hot and she didn’t care what people thought of her. Heck, girl’s at a spin class to be a better version of herself, no judgements please! When the endorphins hit, Bluebell felt alive and I felt euphoric for her. I truly did. I loved seeing her with all that good energy and releasing it out into the world. I LOVED that she pushed herself to workout, go to the gym, try a spin class, try it again, and do great.

It was amazing to see her progression in that way and how each day she got better, stronger, and healthier for herself. I can’t emphasize enough how much I LOVED that. I loved how she explored other workouts like yoga and how she continued to go to the gym.

“I like to feel my heart beat at the gym. I like to feel the sweat trickle down my head. Now I walk past the reception and swipe my membership card and they don’t take a second glance at me and I don’t look at them. It’s just normal.

Changing, I feel happy. I’m just so glad I decided to get fit now and not later in life. It’s only going to get harder to make a big life change like that. . . And if I want to eat everything I want, I guess it’s good to have balance; in fact, my happiness and enjoyment is basically why I work out.”

(pg. 344)

The whole chapter called “Pie” was just as sweet as the real thing. I think Bluebell said it best in how she enjoyed going to the gym for her and to feel stronger and better. She also mentioned how it just became a routine—-that it was normal to work out now. It warmed my heart how she was so happy in life with her body in making the change to work out for herself. It’s always hard to push yourself to work out and to change your life to be fit, but it’s always worth it. It improves your mindset and your health. The part I loved about this quote the most was how she mentioned balance because that’s such a key thing with a health journey or with anything really. You can eat as clean as you want, but if you don’t balance that with working out right it’s not going to help you lose a lot of weight; You can workout as much as you want, but if you don’t eat right, it’s not going to help either. There has to be a healthy balance of working out—–not over exerting yourself—–and eating right——not over or underrating. And for the longest time I had a hard time with that balance because I thought if I worked out super hard, I’d lose weight or if I stopped eating this much, I’d lose more weight. And you will lose weight if you do one or the other, but when you tip the scales heavily to rely on one side, there’s this other part of you that will never truly be happy. You have to balance them so no part of you feels exhausted or underfed.

I know when I work out and eat now, I find enjoyment in it because like Bluebell I think about eating as I run or lift weights. And I release all my energy and stress from the day. It truly is therapeutic for the mind, body, and soul. So in this way, I can highly relate to Bluebell and I’m proud of her journey.

“Confidence isn’t something you can buy on a shelf in a chest and roll under your armpits to protect you. Confidence isn’t something you can simply dream up or manifest. It comes from a place deep down. It’s a muscle, just like biceps or the imagination, that needs training and attention; it can’t go to sleep. Self-love needs reminding. Needs activating and strengthening. You have to love yourself. It’s the start of everything . The rest will follow naturally.”

(pg. 332)

If there’s one thing Bluebell is, it’s confident. Even before her whole health journey, she was confident, but through working out, I felt like she found more confidence and pride in who she was in knowing she was more proactive in taking care of herself. I truly loved everything about this quote though because Laura Dockrill does an interesting thing in her books, she speaks to you. Yes, you the reader. In how she switches to first person to tell us what confidence is. I believe that confidence is what she preaches in how it has to come from within and it’s not something you can buy or dream to have one day, you have to work on yourself and teach yourself to love who you are. Your confidence has to come from you and if you don’t love yourself, that hate that you have for yourself comes through in your actions and in your words because of the insecurity you might feel. There’s nothing wrong with being insecure, but know that you shouldn’t need to feel that way because you are BEAUTIFUL no matter your shape, size, color, culture, race, religion, or ethnicity. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL no matter what. And my gosh, I hope you find that confidence in yourself and that love because no one’s going to make you as happy as you can than yourself. No matter how much people you have in your life, how much money, how much anything, you have to make yourself happy because that’s where it comes from—-you.

Bluebell knew that’s where it came from. When she worked out more, you could just feel even more confidence, happiness, and this glow emit from her because of how she truly loved herself.

Before she worked out, I think that maybe there was a part of Bluebell that put up this front that she was confident and happy as who she was, and maybe she was to an extent. But comparing health journey Bluebell to pre-health journey Bluebell, I could feel a difference. Pre-health journey Bluebell protected herself with this bold, braze, I-don’t-care attitude because she didn’t want people to hurt her or give them that power. She wanted to make it known she was proud of who she was because if others knew that, they couldn’t hurt her or make her feel bad for her weight. Some part of me feels like that really took a toll on Bluebell because she would always put up that wall of being happy and proud of herself when really she was hurt by the things people said. It kind of explained why she would be so sarcastic or have a weird sense of humor at certain parts when people would make comments. It was just a defense. But Bluebell was truly happy because she knew she was eating clean and working out and no one could truly make her feel bad about herself because she was working on her for her.

Go girl 👏🏼💗!

“I don’t need to worry or wonder why the world stares at someone like me; they need to worry and wonder why THEY stare at someone like me.

And if I could talk to little me now, I would tell her that she’d matter more to me than anybody will ever matter.”

(pg. 365)

Another part I enjoyed reading because truly WE need to reevaluate the way we view people and change OUR perspectives. Nothing is wrong with the person who stares back in the mirror, the fault is the way we see others and the way we treat them because we ourselves want to feel better by bringing others down. And how sick is that? Why can’t we just tell someone that they’re beautiful or that they have a nice shirt or shoes without feeling like we have to make them feel bad about who they are because some part of us is jealous? We have to be supportive and loving. We have to see the world better.

And I loved how Bluebell was able to look in the mirror and be proud. It was admirable how she recognized that her past self needed that love because far too often we think our past selves were gross or ugly or all these negative things, but really our past selves were becoming—-they were growing. They needed love and peace then as much as they need it now.

Because you have to come to accept who you were to accept who you are and to know you were never unworthy. You were always worthy.

Bluebell’s progression was so realistic and relatable and I just loved her as a person.

The only thing about the book that I wasn’t too keen on was the romance. I think that the romance was added just to make it a romance book, but I would have been fine if Max was just a friend or not there at all because the whole romance thing just wasn’t needed. I didn’t feel the love between them and that it was simply a crush turned to something more because it “had” to be something more with a romance book. I feel like the main romance in this book was self-love. Bluebell was on a path of finding more of herself and coming to terms with her body and confidence. That enough takes a lot of love and effort.

That’s not to say I didn’t like Max, just wasn’t for that whole love story.

I forgot to mention one of my FAVORITE parts of this entire book that just stuck with me the entire time because of how darn HILARIOUS it was. You know there’s something about English writers that you just know that they are an English writer. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s very distinctive and it’s not just in the way they spell American words differently. I see it when I read Sophie Kinsella books, Jojo Moyes books, Jenny Colgan books, and now Laura Dockrill. And it’s this weird sense of humor and I don’t know if all English people are all this hilarious, but my gosh there’s nothing better than a good weird English humor (not in a bad way). I JUST LOVE English humor!

UGGGH! 😆

Can you guess what part I’m talking about?

It’s the moment when she pooped in the dog bowl!!! 😂 I mean, who writes about that? It’s just so bizarre and random and utterly weird that no one would ever think to write about it, but you know there it was in writing. How do people think about these things? It was like Laura Dockrill sat down and was like what is the most bizarre, ridiculous, random, disgusting thing I could write? Poop in a dog bowl.

What was funny was how Bluebell ate that leftover pie in the oven and then Cam and her mom went out to get pet food and Bluebell was stuck at home cleaning that chicken cage. Then her stomach hurt and she got queasy and she HAD to take a dump, but when she tried to open her sliding door it wouldn’t open. Her stomach wasn’t letting up and she had to go and all these neighbors kept popping out their windows to yell something down at her and it kind of reminded me of that Spiderman: Homecoming scene where all the people including Stan Lee yelled from their windows. Bluebell was trying to be so nice to them, but on the inside her whole body was shaking with rage because she needed to release all the bad food she ate. And this is probably a TMI kind of thing, but have you ever had to poop really bad that you start to feel light headed because you’ve been holding it in for a while? Gross, I know 😂. I don’t judge, just wondering.

Bluebell also felt that lightheadedness. And then apparently her mom was coming home and forgot the key. Bluebell couldn’t wait any longer so she squatted into the dog bowl and let it flow. EWWWWW! But I was laughing at the same time because the neighbor came out again and she yelled at him to go back inside. When Bluebell was done, her mom and Cam came home and Cam didn’t have an upset tummy like her and it meant Bluebell could have waited to go inside to poop. There was also the fact Dove was home.

But it was just so random and funny that you truly couldn’t forget that part.

If someone ever asked me what I remembered from this book, without hesitation I would say poop in the dog bowl 😂

Great impression .🤪👌🏼

Honestly, I was for the whole story of body positivity and learning to be proud of who you are no matter who you are. I think we all get so caught up in what we think is beautiful——skinny, big butt, big eyes, blonde hair, cool colored eyes—–that we forget that we all have something that makes us beautiful and we should be proud of who we are. We have to learn to be kind to one another and recognize that everyone is amazing just the way they are and not to change that, but help that person find a better version of themselves. If you want a person to be healthier and that comes from a genuine place of love and concern then that’s fine, but don’t force someone to change for you because that’s not going to work. Change has to come from within and that person has to want to change for themselves. You can only encourage them to be healthier and better. And if a person wants to work out and try yoga or spin, support them on that because half the battle of a health journey is deciding to go on a health journey.

Whatever your journey may be, I hope you find the type of self-love, confidence, and respect that Bluebell has for yourself.

Whatever you’re journey may be, I hope you find the type of self-love, confidence, and respect that Bluebell has for yourself.

If you read this book, what was your favorite or least favorite part?

What would your ideal boyfriend be as a food? I think mines would be a cookie because they would be a little rough around the edges, but warm and gooey in the middle 🍪. Let me know below in the comments as I love hearing from all of you 💕

I hope you have a beautiful and bright day whenever and wherever you’re reading this.

And as always, with love,

Review

4.78 Full Bloom Flowers

Characters: Bluebell is every bit as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She really teaches you what it means to be proud of who you are and to own it! I also loved Dove because she was such a good supporter in Bluebell’s life and loved her for her size, but just wanted to see her sister keep going and moving and I think it’s so special when you have people in your life who encourage you to be the best you can be.

Writing: The whole organization of this book was soooo cute and fun!! I loved how it reflected Bluebells’ food diary and how each chapter was a food she ate and how it told a story that she associated with the food. It was soooo cute!

Plot: Body positivity is a favorite topic of mines when it comes to reading because it truly does change the narrative and makes you think differently. Definitely a book I recommend reading to feel like a bold, beautiful queen.

Romance: Not really a romance book, but big on self-love, the best kind of love.