Five Things College Taught Me
Dear college attendees,
Last fall I started college, and by no means do I have the most credibility about what the overall college experience is. This is just five things I have learned about college during my first semester. So if you’re applying to college and wondering what it was like from a first time college person perspective, then this is the right place to be. But if you’re already in college or have been to college maybe you’ll find this relatable or not, or maybe you learned other things, things that you can mention below in the comments. : )
1. It’s harder to make friends
That might sound scary as a first time person going to college, but it really is harder to make friends. Especially if you go to a college that is out of state. I think when people go to college they’re really in that independent mindset where they’re discovering who they can be by themselves. And everything about college is learning how to do things by yourself and how to grow up. And when you put all these people in one place who are all trying to be independent and grow up, well you get a very isolated kind of environment where hardly anybody talks to each other, which makes it harder to make friends.
I’m not saying you won’t make friends, but it just won’t be as easy as in other years. But the first thing you should know is that everyone is on this same journey of independence and everyone wants someone to talk to, so try talking to someone. Even asking the person sitting next to you if they want gum can be the start of a good friendship. Who knows? But don’t be afraid to talk to people and you’ll make friends in no time!
2. Dorming is an Experience
I have watched so much movies in the past where college kids had luxury dorm rooms with personal baths, cool lounges, and all that fun stuff. Suffice to say, when I got to my own dorm room, things were not at all how I envisioned it to be. But then looking back I realized I was watching movie sand they probably had millions to spend on a good looking dorm room because no one wants to see a gross dorm in a movie! But the reality is, dorms are not as high and glorious as the movies make them out to be. That’s not to say some dorms aren’t pretty and nice, but some dorms aren’t. My dorm was just a small half circular room with a wooden desk, bed, and closet. I had to share a community bathroom with 10 other girls who would leave their hair dye all over the sink or who wouldn’t flush the toilet. But I had it lucky compared to the other stories I have heard from my friends. So these aren’t really the positive aspects of dorming.
But dorming isn’t all that horrible. I think dorming is such a necessary and fun college experience depending on how you make it. If you stay in your room all the time and don’t really socialize with friends, dorming can seem very lonely and isolating. It’s good to have a roommate so you don’t feel completely alone. Which reminds me, you’re not always going to be best friends with your roommate. I’m not best friends with mines, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t hospitable with each other. We really just have different interests and personalities, but we’re nice to each other and respect each others space—most of the time (I highly recommend locking up personal things if you can!). But where was I? Yes, dorming can be fun if you make friends and go out with people. It can be fun if you invite people over and hang out or study. I think what I like the most about dorming was getting the chance to interior design my room. It helps if you make your dorm look nice so you feel better about living in a enclosed space. Just don’t go wild on spending too much!
3. Study! Study! Study!
For me, the biggest difference between high school and college was the academic environment. I went to a school that was very project based and interactive. We didn’t sit in individual desks and chairs, but we sat at group tables and did group projects, videos, plays, and books. And I loved that type of learning where I could do things that went beyond just reading a textbook, writing notes, and then taking a test.
But college is more of the latter where you do read a textbook, write notes, and take a test. It’s all about showing up to class and taking “lecture” notes—I don’t know some reason with college comes an upgrade in vocabulary with “lectures” rather than speeches and “professors” rather than teachers—-and then studying for tests. Studying is a bore! Like there’s only so much terms I can remember. And I always think to myself for what? To remember the information for just the test? I swear after I take a test all the information flies out my head the next day. Oooops.
Just remember to pace yourself when it comes to school work and to manage your time well. Don’t skip class just because you think it’s cool. Actually go to class no matter how boring because I guarantee you it will help you in the long run. And also make study groups with a friend from each of your classes. It helps tremendously if you have a friend in each class so that you can ask them questions or ask them for help.
But even though college is studying your button, remember to always, always take your break days. One of my teachers always emphasized at the end of each week how we need to slow down and just take time for ourself. She would tell us to not think or do work one day and just relax. In such a busy on-the-go world where people are overly stressed, it’s so important that you know that you come first. Your mental health matters most! I guarantee you if you study, study, study, without a break, you’ll go crazy, crazy, crazy! Study in moderation friends!
4. Old friendships take work
What I mean by this is that, you’ve probably grew up with your same set of high school friends and are used to seeing them everyday. But after you graduate, friends go their separate ways and you don’t see the same people all the time. And it sucks. The first week of my college experience, I hung out with my high school friends because I think they gave me a sense of familiarity in a new environment. But then I after a while, I felt this ache in my chest from the absence of all the people who used to be in my life everyday.
It’s so much harder to talk to old friends. It’s because you lead different lives now and there’s this distance between you. But my advice is to always try– try to reach out to them, try to see them, try to talk to them, just try. Send a text out of the blue and say hi to an old friend because the key to keeping your old friendships alive is to just keep the communication alive. I bet they miss you as much as you miss them and even if it doesn’t seem like it, trust me they do. Because they are going through the same feelings and experiences you are and having that old friend really does help. I know it did for me. Friendships take work, but if you and your friend really want to keep the friendship going, you’ll find a way.
5. Independence
I think the biggest thing college can teach anyone is this sense of independence. You’re either living away from home or maybe you live at home but drive to school everyday, but really everything you do is all up to you. You decide whether you go to class or not, you decide if you want to study, you decide if you want to do a campus job. YOU DECIDE. No ones going to hold your hand, no ones going to scold you for not going to class, no one cares if you pass the class or not because all you are is another paycheck for the school. So it’s all up to you.
It’s what you do with your time, it’s how you make friends, it’s how you learn to do things for yourself. For me, I had to learn how to make my schedule by myself, buy textbooks by myself, and all the adulting kind of things. And it was hard. But know that you and so many other people are experiencing the same thing of trying to find a place in the world during this period of being an adult but not really. So take this time to figure out who you are and what you’re passionate about. If you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up that’s totally fine! Don’t feel pressured from everyone that at 17 or 18, you should have your entire life planned out because that’s completely unrealistic. People change, they grow, they evolve, so your plans do to. Take this time to make the right decisions for your goals and future. And if those plans happen to change, then that’s okay too. And even if you feel like you have to be independent and do everything alone, know that you don’t. It’s always good to know that you can be independent, but I think it’s better if you always ask for help when you need it.
I hope this was useful to you incoming, current, or past college students.
As always, with love
